James Spader on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" - 9/30/04 — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:01[Music]
2. 0:09Everybody, we're back. My first guest is
3. 0:11an Emmy award-winning actor who can be
4. 0:13seen Sunday nights on the new ABC series
5. 0:15Boston Legal. Please welcome James
6. 0:17Speder.
7. 0:22[Music]
8. 0:26[Applause]
9. 0:32It's always good to toast the crowd.
10. 0:39That's a great way to butter up the
11. 0:40crowd before a segment. I toast you.
12. 0:42Yeah, I have cash, too. Yeah, that's all
13. 0:44right. During the commercial break, you
14. 0:46can work. The guy right behind the
15. 0:47curtain there just said to somebody
16. 0:49else, "I think I might have screwed up
17. 0:50the lobster."
18. 0:52That's what it's like backstage here. A
19. 0:54lot of recrimination. No, no, no. You've
20. 0:56got a great repatory company. I'm
21. 0:58telling you, I was watching him come off
22. 0:59and they were You're right. These are
23. 1:01the best people. I'm going home and
24. 1:02locking up the Emmy. Yeah. Yeah. This is
25. 1:04Well, let's talk about that. All right.
26. 1:06I was there. I was at the Emmys. I saw
27. 1:08you win this and uh were you surprised
28. 1:11that you that you won? You were up
29. 1:13against uh you know, Gandalfini. This
30. 1:14was this is a very tough category. Long
31. 1:16shot. I was I was a long shot, I think.
32. 1:19Do you actually Do you have the actual
33. 1:20numbers? Yeah. I had a very good friend
34. 1:22of mine is a fairly good handicapper and
35. 1:25I had called I was talking to him when
36. 1:27months ago when they were the
37. 1:28nominations were announced and I think I
38. 1:31was seven to one. What a good friend.
39. 1:34No, I was I was by seven to one. Yeah.
40. 1:36And then he calls me a week later say
41. 1:37well you've gone to six to2 but I was
42. 1:39still way I mean it was going to take
43. 1:41right you know a muddy track for me to
44. 1:42win and apparently it was a hurricane
45. 1:44and I won. So yeah well you must be
46. 1:45happy about that. That's got to be good
47. 1:47news. Yeah. Yeah. No of course. Now, LA,
48. 1:48you know, sometimes to prepare for a
49. 1:50segment, I go and I I watch the the
50. 1:52segment from last time just to sort of
51. 1:54see what we talked about last time, and
52. 1:55it was a very unusual interview with
53. 1:57you. Last time, I'm talking to James
54. 1:59Spader. That's you. And uh the whole
55. 2:02segment, the entire segment, you talked
56. 2:05about how you like eggs. Yes. The whole
57. 2:08segment. And it was very entertaining
58. 2:10and strange.
59. 2:15I mean, really, think about it. I eat
60. 2:16more eggs than I can. I mean than any
61. 2:18other food. I mean I must eat eggs
62. 2:19probably.
63. 2:21I spent last time talking about eggs.
64. 2:22Yeah. The last time was all eggs. Now do
65. 2:24you are you still think about eggs or
66. 2:25have you moved on to another food now?
67. 2:27What is it? Fall. So what do you think
68. 2:28about fall? Right. Right now like mid
69. 2:31well yeah beginning to mid October is
70. 2:34the beginning of the white truffle
71. 2:36season which is really that is to me the
72. 2:39greatest food on earth. I mean really
73. 2:41white truffles. I know last time I said
74. 2:42eggs are the most perfect food, but
75. 2:44surprisingly enough, the most perfect
76. 2:45thing to have with white truffles is
77. 2:47eggs in its most simple really. I mean,
78. 2:50so you like So you take some eggs and
79. 2:52then you get these white truffles. What
80. 2:53do you It all starts the night before
81. 2:56because the white the white truffles
82. 2:58usually you get them in some sort of uh
83. 3:00in a roto or something. They keep it
84. 3:02dry. You have to keep them very dry. I
85. 3:04mean, they arrive from Italy, you know,
86. 3:06in a plain brown package, still in dirt
87. 3:08with bugs and worms and, you know, I
88. 3:10mean, the FDA is not very pleased about
89. 3:12white troubles coming in. But anyway,
90. 3:13they they it's like, you know, they go
91. 3:16to Colombia and then they come straight
92. 3:17from Colombia up here and they they
93. 3:20arrive and you have to be keep them dry
94. 3:22in Roto and then it and then so the
95. 3:25night before you put the eggs in, it's
96. 3:27not the Food Network, Chapo. Okay, hold
97. 3:30on. This is all changed. You put you put
98. 3:32the eggs in a closed container with the
99. 3:34truffles and I'm telling you the
100. 3:36strangest thing is eggs their shell is
101. 3:38like a sponge and and the you leave it
102. 3:41overnight and you wake up the next
103. 3:42morning and you crack open an egg and it
104. 3:44smells and tastes like truffles. So the
105. 3:46egg has absorbed the essence of the
106. 3:49truffle completely that sort of musky
107. 3:51sexy like you know sexy. How is it sexy?
108. 3:54Is it do you actually does it make you
109. 3:55think of I mean do you think it's sexy?
110. 3:57Truffles are sexy. Think of it. Doesn't
111. 4:00make you think of sex. Don't hit me.
112. 4:02What? What happened here? We're talking
113. 4:04about truffles and suddenly it's a
114. 4:06barroom brawl. If you're going to drop
115. 4:09off, dude. I mean, if you're going to
116. 4:10drop if you're going to drop, you know,
117. 4:12several hundred on some truffles, you
118. 4:14better get laid that night. So, you're
119. 4:16not thinking about it. So these you
120. 4:18these do you often think of this if you
121. 4:22start the night you know they always say
122. 4:23oysters are an aphrodisiac and oysters I
123. 4:25think are they're great a great sexy
124. 4:27food they're you know and if you start
125. 4:29the night with oysters move on to
126. 4:31truffles with eggs or something and and
127. 4:33and end up with chocolate and drink
128. 4:36champagne throughout you're getting laid
129. 4:37that night. Wow that's an incredible
130. 4:39getting laid that night after that meal
131. 4:41go run a bath and you know take a nice
132. 4:43bath and masturbate and go to bed.
133. 4:44You're going to be happy
134. 4:50as I
135. 4:55am. Now you're talking my
136. 4:59[Applause]
137. 5:02language. So anyway, uh how often I get
138. 5:05the impression now that you think about
139. 5:06sex a lot. Is that true? That a lot of
140. 5:08things make you think of sex. Is that
141. 5:10fair to say? That's Isn't that what
142. 5:13everybody's thinking about all the time?
143. 5:15Really? You think? I think. Don't you? I
144. 5:18think about it all the time. No, I don't
145. 5:20think about it all the time. You don't?
146. 5:21No. I think when I was younger, I
147. 5:23thought about it all the time, but no, I
148. 5:25don't think about it all the time. You
149. 5:26don't think? No, but I I I don't mean I
150. 5:27I I don't mean not to be silly, but I
151. 5:29don't mean in terms of you're just
152. 5:30thinking about, you know, oh, who's, you
153. 5:32know, I mean, I think it's just it's
154. 5:33part of everything in our culture. I
155. 5:35mean everything in our culture in just
156. 5:37in the way you dress and the way you
157. 5:39operate with other people around you or
158. 5:42you know male or female when you're
159. 5:43dealing with another male there's you
160. 5:45know this alpha males dealing with one
161. 5:47another that's all about sexuality and
162. 5:50then you know dealing with any female
163. 5:52you run into during the course of the
164. 5:53day I don't know who where it starts
165. 5:54whether you know she wants to have sex
166. 5:56with you or you want to have sex with
167. 5:58her who cares where that's you know I
168. 6:00don't I'm
169. 6:03so you were literally I'm getting
170. 6:05I'm getting an insight. Very different
171. 6:06lines. Look at you. What is happening
172. 6:08here now with a rub down a little right
173. 6:10up here? A little tense. Uh no, but uh
174. 6:14No, I'm just curious. I am getting the
175. 6:15feeling that you when you just see two
176. 6:17people like you're talking to two
177. 6:18people. You is are you thinking sexually
178. 6:20about those two people? Well, not those
179. 6:22two guys in the front row, but besides
180. 6:24them. I was thinking about Yeah. Anyway,
181. 6:26now