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It's Weird, But It'll Heal Your Nervous System — Transcript

by David Bayer · 3,500 words · 534 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Recently, there's been an explosion of
0:01videos on YouTube around healing your
0:03nervous system. And understandably so,
0:05because what we're realizing is that
0:07effectively your nervous system is
0:09everything. [music]
0:10It's the command and control center of
0:11your emotional experience of life, of
0:13your health, of your thoughts, and
0:14therefore it is the command and control
0:17center of your entire reality. [music]
0:18However, a lot of these nervous system
0:20healing conversations start to move into
0:22recommending really complex practices
0:24and protocols [music] or supplements and
0:26strategies. And while I'm sure there's
0:27some benefit to those things, I'm going
0:29to go against the grain here and share
0:31with you why I believe the fastest and
0:33[music] most powerful way to heal your
0:35nervous system is to actually do
0:37nothing, which happens to be one of the
0:39hardest things for a human being to do.
0:41So, in this episode, I'm going to talk
0:43to you about five things you're
0:44currently doing that, if you would just
0:46stop doing them, would give your nervous
0:48system an opportunity to down regulate,
0:51to heal, to restore itself, whatever you
0:53want to call it. So, let's get into it.
0:58All right, guys. When we get into this
0:59conversation of healing or down
1:01regulating your nervous system, there's
1:02a lot of conversations about what you
1:04need to start doing, but I would
1:06recommend that the best way to actually
1:09down regulate your nervous system is to
1:11stop doing the things that are up
1:12regulating it. Now, I know it sounds
1:14like common sense, but there are five
1:16things that we're doing on a daily basis
1:18that are preventing us from moving into
1:19that rest and relaxation phase. And the
1:21number one thing that I want to share
1:23with you, which should come as no
1:24surprise, is doom scrolling. Yes, social
1:28media. And I get it. You know, there are
1:31long days that I have and I just want to
1:33kick back and relax and do something
1:35that's mindless, and I start scrolling
1:37through Instagram and flipping through
1:39reel after reel after reel. I'm not a
1:42big TikTok user, but it's really the
1:44same type of behavior. It could even be
1:45watching content on YouTube. And I don't
1:48know if you've ever noticed this, but
1:50like after about 5 to 10 minutes, it
1:51feels like there's some sort of weird
1:53tractor beam between you and the screen,
1:56and it feels uncomfortable, but you keep
1:58doing it. Like there's this little voice
2:00in our head that says, "I should
2:01probably stop this." But, we don't. And
2:04so, what I call doom scrolling
2:07is one of the biggest reasons why we
2:09continue to upregulate our nervous
2:11system when it's time to relax. I want
2:12to give you the science behind this. So,
2:14when you're scrolling, your body might
2:16be sitting on the couch, but your brain
2:18keeps being asked to change direction.
2:22And so, a lot of times we think about
2:23resting as resting the physical body,
2:24but really rest is resting our
2:26attention. And when we're scrolling
2:28through social media, that attention
2:30becomes heightened. Here's a crisis.
2:32Here's somebody you're comparing
2:33yourself to. Here's something funny.
2:36Here's something that makes you angry.
2:37Every few seconds, there's another thing
2:40pulling at your attention. So, you can
2:42be physically still, but neurologically
2:44hyperactive. So, as you scroll, your
2:47attention keeps getting pulled towards
2:49something new, something exciting,
2:51something alarming, something upsetting.
2:53And that repeated stimulation keeps your
2:55nervous system in an active state even
2:58though you think you're relaxing. And
2:59again, that's why you put your phone
3:01down feeling wired and drained even
3:04though you thought you were resting or
3:06unwinding. And what's crazy is that it's
3:08not just that doom scrolling stresses
3:10your system,
3:12it's that doom scrolling prolongs the
3:14time it takes you to actually recover.
3:16In other words, it stresses you out and
3:19makes you less resilient to stress
3:22recovery. So, in one experiment, people
3:24who went on Facebook after a stressful
3:26experience had more sustained and longer
3:29levels of cortisol, which is the stress
3:31hormone, than people who quietly read.
3:34But, removing that input completely can
3:37make a difference surprisingly quickly.
3:39So, one study found significantly lower
3:41cortisol levels after just a few days of
3:43social media detox. And another
3:46randomized study found improvements in
3:47well-being, anxiety, and depression
3:49symptoms after 1 week away from social
3:52media. So, no complicated 8-hour
3:54meditation, no brain retraining, or
3:56complex supplement protocol. Just stop
4:00scrolling. Now, I experienced this
4:03personally when I was really just
4:05feeling like, "Man, I need a break." And
4:07I don't know if you've ever ever felt
4:08that that just I need a break. I'm
4:10working a lot. I'm doing a lot with my
4:12family, with my life, with my mission in
4:14the world. And so, I took a 7-day detox
4:17off of social media. And man, it was a
4:19game-changer because I wasn't scrolling.
4:21I was allowing my nervous system to
4:23resettle. I was allowing my cortisol
4:25levels to lower. I was allowing my
4:27attention to refocus rather than become
4:30fragmented. And I came back feeling
4:32unbelievably refreshed just from that
4:34one 7-day digital detox. Now, number two
4:38is to stop caffeine. Now, I know, I
4:41know, you're you're going to hate me for
4:43this. But the truth is, caffeine is
4:46probably the number one direct input
4:49influencer of an up-regulated nervous
4:51system. In other words, there are very
4:54few other things that we can put into
4:55our body that can just gas us up and
4:59overtax the nervous system than
5:01caffeine. There are a lot of chemicals
5:03that actually affect your nervous
5:05system, but you can't ingest them. But
5:07caffeine is one of those things that you
5:09have a direct influence over. And I know
5:11you can throw a stone and find some
5:13argument around whether coffee's good
5:15for you or coffee's not good for you.
5:16That's not what I'm talking about. I'm
5:17talking about the impact of caffeine.
5:19And the reason is this. Caffeine does
5:21not actually give you energy.
5:23What caffeine does is it suppresses the
5:25tired molecule. Okay? It suppresses
5:28adenosine levels. So, you have these
5:30little receptors where this chemical
5:33called adenosine binds. And adenosine is
5:36a naturally occurring chemical that
5:37shows up when it's time for you to get
5:40tired. This is how amazing the human
5:42body is. Like, when you're ready to
5:44rest, your body supports you
5:46biochemically by allowing adenosine to
5:49bind to adenosine receptors. When you're
5:51not all jacked up on caffeine during the
5:53day, for example, it's that cozy,
5:56genuinely tired feeling at night that
5:59arrives and you think, "Man, I just want
6:00to get into bed and cuddle and relax."
6:03Caffeine blocks adenosine. It binds to
6:06the adenosine receptors and so that
6:08feeling at the end of the day when
6:10you're exhausted and you just want to
6:12crash and start the day over tomorrow,
6:15that's what an absence of adenosine
6:17feels like. So, you're literally pouring
6:19gas onto the fire and burning the candle
6:22at both ends. So, again, caffeine does
6:24not give you energy. It prevents you
6:26from getting tired. It's like being in
6:29an interrogation room where they don't
6:31let you sleep for several days or having
6:33a 2-year-old that isn't in a sleep
6:35rhythm and moms and dads, you're picking
6:37up what I'm laying down.
6:39That's caffeine. Again, this is not a
6:41conversation around whether coffee is
6:42good or coffee is bad. Doing a few
6:45things and watch your nervous system
6:47recalibrate conversation is what we're
6:49having and what I'm saying is that as
6:51much as I like my 16-oz cold brew with
6:54macadamia every single morning, it's the
6:56one thing that is highly likely to move
6:58the needle for you, taking a break from
7:01your favorite caffeinated beverage. I
7:03did it for a 10-day streak of no coffee
7:05earlier this year. By day eight, I
7:07literally told my wife, "Oh my god, I
7:10found the peace and calm that I've been
7:11looking for for the last 20 years." And
7:13like anyone who has finally found the
7:15peace and calm they've been looking for
7:17after decades, I immediately started
7:18drinking coffee again on day 10 and lost
7:21that feeling cuz it's like peace,
7:22coffee, you know, it's a toss-up.
7:25Like I said, you may not want to hear
7:27this, but I believe that one of the
7:29biggest contributors to nervous system
7:31dysregulation and overload is long-term
7:33sustained caffeine use, particularly in
7:35excess levels
7:37cuz
7:38a venti Starbucks Pike coffee is already
7:41at 100% the daily recommended allowance
7:43for caffeine by the FDA. And the last
7:45time I checked, the FDA were not
7:46particularly cautious with their
7:48recommendations. Two venti coffees,
7:51you're in jacked-up land and that's not
7:54unusual for a lot of people. Number
7:56three, stop eating And I don't
8:00mean you can never have dessert or enjoy
8:01a meal out. I'm talking about what
8:03you're feeding yourself day after day.
8:05The sugary drinks, the fast food, the
8:07packaged snacks that have become
8:09breakfast, lunch, sometimes dinner.
8:11Because when we talk about the nervous
8:12system, we tend to think about the brain
8:14inside our skull, but your gut has its
8:17own extensive network of neurons. It's
8:18called the enteric nervous system, and
8:20it's often referred to as your second
8:22brain. And these two systems are
8:24constantly communicating through nerves,
8:26through hormones, through signals from
8:28your immune system. Your brain
8:30influences what happens in your gut, and
8:31what happens in your gut can influence
8:33how you feel. You've experienced one
8:36direction of this. Like you get nervous
8:38and your stomach tightens. You get
8:40stressed and your digestion changes. But
8:43that conversation goes both ways. So the
8:44environment you're creating in your
8:46digestive system matters. You may have
8:48heard that roughly 90% of the body's
8:50serotonin is produced by the gut, and
8:52that's true. Although that serotonin
8:54doesn't travel into your brain and
8:55become happiness, the connection is more
8:58complex than that. But the point is,
8:59your gut is actively participating in
9:02the signaling that connects your
9:03physical health with your emotional
9:05experience. And researchers have found
9:07that people who consume more
9:08ultra-processed foods have higher rates
9:11of depression and anxiety and related
9:13problems. And that doesn't mean a bag of
9:15chips causes anxiety. It just means
9:17there's a relationship between the
9:19pattern of how we eat and the pattern of
9:22how we feel. So before you turn healing
9:24your nervous system into another
9:25complicated project, take an honest look
9:28at what you're eating. Start by removing
9:30some of the obvious things, the soda
9:32that you drink every afternoon, the
9:33constant sweets, the fast food that
9:35you're relying on because you're rushing
9:36through your day, probably jacked up on
9:39coffee as well. Like you don't need to
9:40become obsessive about food. I'm just
9:43saying, give yourself more actual meals,
9:46more whole foods, and less of the stuff
9:49you already know leaves you feeling
9:51lousy. This is another place where
9:53supporting your nervous system can begin
9:55with subtraction. Give your body a
9:57little less to contend with. Number
9:59four, stop filling every quiet moment,
10:03right? We're talking about the things
10:04that we can stop doing to allow our
10:06nervous system to heal. Because I don't
10:08know about you, but I get in the car and
10:11something has to go on, right? Go for a
10:13walk and maybe you put in your earbuds.
10:15You're waiting for someone and you're
10:16pulling out your phone and looking at
10:17it. You finish one thing and before
10:19you've even taken a breath, you're on to
10:21the next thing. And look, I get it. I'm
10:23not being critical. I'm just saying that
10:25these are habits that can be easy for us
10:27to change. Sometimes what you're filling
10:29that space with is good, right? It's
10:31educational. It's an episode like this.
10:33It's inspiring, right? But yeah, have
10:36you given yourself any time to just be?
10:40No assignment, nothing to learn, nothing
10:42to improve. A few minutes where you're
10:44not asking anything of yourself.
10:47Because I think a lot of us have become
10:48unoccupied. With being unoccupied. The
10:52moment there's an opening, we fill it
10:53and we do it so automatically that we
10:56don't even notice that we're doing it.
10:58Then when we finally do sit in silence,
11:01we feel restless. We feel the urge to
11:04reach for something and we take that
11:06discomfort as evidence that we need more
11:08stimulation.
11:09But what if you allowed that moment to
11:11be uncomfortable without immediately
11:13needing something to do about it? Like
11:16you don't have to force your mind to go
11:17blank. You don't have to breathe a
11:19certain way. You don't even have to feel
11:21peaceful. You can just be sitting there
11:24with a busy mind and still choose to
11:26leave the phone where it is. Your body
11:29has a relaxation response. It's a
11:31psychological shift that can slow your
11:33heart rate and lower your blood
11:34pressure. You don't manufacture that
11:37response by turning every quiet moment
11:39into another high performance. You can
11:41give yourself opportunities to settle
11:43without demanding that it happen on
11:45command, right? So leave a little space
11:47in your day. Let part of the drive be
11:50quiet. Walk around the block without
11:52listening to anything for a few minutes.
11:55These things really make a difference.
11:56Finish your lunch and sit there for
11:58another minute before you get up and
12:00notice the impulse to make that time
12:01useful. You've spent so much of your
12:03life learning how to do more.
12:06But give yourself a chance to discover
12:07what happens when for a few ordinary
12:09moments, you just let yourself be.
12:11Number five, and this is probably the
12:13biggest one, stop feeding repetitive
12:16worry. This is what I mean by this. You
12:18have a conversation that doesn't go
12:19well, and then you have it another 20
12:21times in your head.
12:22You think about something that might
12:24happen tomorrow, and you start
12:25rehearsing every possible way it could
12:26go wrong. And it feels like you're
12:28working on the problem,
12:30but are you really discovering anything
12:32new? Are you really making a new
12:34decision? Is there an action that you
12:36can take, or are you going around the
12:38same circle having the same thoughts and
12:41feeling worse every single time? So,
12:43researchers have found that this
12:45repetitive thinking can prolong
12:47physiological stress activation. Just
12:49makes sense, right? The event may be
12:51over, or it may not have happened at
12:53all, but the thinking can keep the
12:55stress response going. So, you're
12:56sitting in your kitchen, nothing is
12:58happening in that moment that requires
12:59you to defend yourself, but mentally
13:01you're back in an argument, or you're
13:03imagining losing your business, or
13:05you're trying to figure out how to
13:06guarantee that someone will never be
13:08disappointed in you, and your body can
13:10respond to the stress of what you're
13:12imagining. And one of the great
13:13discoveries in neuroscience is the fact
13:15that your brain doesn't know the
13:16difference between imagination and
13:17reality. And so, when you're worrying,
13:20you're constantly throwing your nervous
13:23system into fight or flight, because
13:24when you're sitting in the living room
13:26worried about what's in your bank
13:27account, not being able to pay your
13:28rent, and imagining that you're going to
13:30end up living under a bridge, your
13:32nervous system is experiencing that as
13:34real. So,
13:36it is important to understand this.
13:38Frankly, this thing called worry should
13:41probably be at the top of the list. It's
13:43one of the primary reasons why we're
13:45seeing this massive proliferation of
13:48what we're calling stress-related
13:50diseases. The stress and its sustained
13:53cadence that is being driven by our
13:55worry, our anxiety, and our fears is
13:57literally crippling [snorts] society.
14:00And so, if you want to look at one of
14:01the levers that you can control in order
14:03to allow the nervous system to relax, it
14:06is an awareness of how often we are
14:08living in our minds in some sort of a
14:10future-paced fear, and trying to become
14:13more aware of it. Because as you become
14:16more aware of it, you downshift your
14:18nervous system by choosing to no longer
14:21engage with those obsessive-compulsive
14:22thoughts. Now, I'm not asking you to
14:24stop having thoughts. That's impossible,
14:26right? A worried thought can show up
14:28without your permission. You don't need
14:29to beat yourself up for worrying. I'm
14:31suggesting you can notice and control
14:35what happens next. Do you follow that
14:38thought train? Do you start building the
14:41argument? Do you go looking for more
14:43evidence that something terrible is
14:44going to happen? That's the part that
14:46you can begin to control.
14:48You can say, "Look, I've already thought
14:51about this. If there's something for me
14:52to do, I'll do it, but I don't need to
14:54keep rehearsing it right now." And the
14:56thought might come back, and that's
14:57okay. You can let it be there without
14:59continuing the conversation, right? You
15:01can get grounded, feel your feet on the
15:04floor, look around the room, bring your
15:06attention back. You don't have to
15:08resolve every uncertainty before
15:10allowing yourself a moment of rest.
15:12Sometimes the opportunity to settle
15:14begins when you stop asking your mind to
15:16solve the same problem for the 21st
15:18time, right? A problem that doesn't even
15:20exist right here, right now. So, when I
15:23say heal your nervous system by doing
15:24nothing, these are the things that I
15:27mean. Look at how much we're asking of
15:30ourselves every single day. The endless
15:32scrolling, the caffeine, the food that
15:35leaves us feeling lousy, the constant
15:37input, and then when everything finally
15:39gets quiet, we start running through all
15:40the things that we're worried about.
15:43And somewhere in the middle of all that,
15:44we're asking,
15:46"Why can't I relax?"
15:48And we add another thing to our schedule
15:49to try to allow us to relax.
15:52And I think it's a question worth
15:53sitting with.
15:54But removing what is upregulating your
15:57nervous system must be the logical
16:00priority. Asking yourself like, "Have I
16:02given myself an opportunity to settle?
16:03Have I allowed any space in my day where
16:06I'm not stimulating myself or
16:08distracting myself or mentally working
16:10on a problem?"
16:11So, here's my invitation.
16:13Pick one of the five things we talked
16:15about today. You probably already know
16:17which one, right? You felt it when I
16:19mentioned it. Maybe you're still upset
16:21with me about the coffee comment and I
16:23apologize, but that means you should
16:25probably start there. Make one
16:27manageable change and give yourself a
16:29chance to notice what happens, right? If
16:32you're a heavy caffeine drinker, ease up
16:34a little bit. If it's scrolling, leave
16:35the phone in another room for part of
16:37the evening. If it's repetitive worry,
16:39notice the moment you start having the
16:40same conversation in your head again and
16:42see if you can leave it unfinished. And
16:45don't turn this into another thing to
16:47beat yourself up about and upregulate
16:49your nervous system, right? You catch
16:51yourself scrolling, put the phone down.
16:53You've spent 20 minutes worrying, maybe
16:55step away from it, right? You can begin
16:57again where you left off the next day.
16:59What I want you to consider is that you
17:01may have more influence over how you
17:04feel and over the health of your nervous
17:06system than you've realized through some
17:09very ordinary choices. So, before you go
17:11looking for the next thing to add, give
17:13yourself a little room. Let a quiet
17:15moment stay quiet. Let one problem wait
17:17until there's actually something you can
17:18do about it and see what becomes
17:20available when you ask a little less of
17:23yourself. And if you want some
17:24additional support, I got a ton of
17:26resources in the description of this
17:27episode. One of them is our AI-powered
17:30limiting beliefs assessment. This will
17:31actually help you identify a lot of the
17:33noise that's going on in the background
17:35and give you a phenomenal tool called
17:36the decision matrix to start
17:38transforming those limiting beliefs
17:39because they are also sitting on top of
17:41your nervous system contributing to that
17:43thing we talked about called worry. And
17:45if you have not yet, do me a favor and
17:48subscribe. It's really the only thing I
17:50ask. We try to put out as much great
17:51content as possible, but it's kind of a
17:53yes vote for keep doing it. Become a
17:56part of our community, hit the bell icon
17:57and you'll get notifications when I come
17:59out with two episodes every single week.
18:01And if there's somebody you know who
18:02needs to hear this message, do us all a
18:05favor and pay it forward. Let's bring
18:07them into the conversation because
18:09growing and evolving is not a thing you
18:10do on your own. It is a thing that we do
18:12together and I am so grateful the fact
18:14that we are here together today. I love
18:16you so much. Thank you for your time,
18:17your energy, and your spirit and I will
18:18see you in the next episode.

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