"In Your Darkest Days, How Did You Keep Going?" — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00I own three gyms in Los Angeles. We're
2. 0:02working on our fourth gym.
3. 0:04>> Okay.
4. 0:04>> We do 2 million bucks in revenue. Um I'd
5. 0:08love to be at 4 million bucks in the
6. 0:10next
7. 0:113 years.
8. 0:12Um I think what's stopping me
9. 0:15is just like patience and staying in the
10. 0:19game long enough and continuing to just
11. 0:21keep the faith. Like if I've learned
12. 0:23anything from here, we're all going to
13. 0:25have like bottlenecks and constraints
14. 0:27that unique to our business that we need
15. 0:29to
16. 0:30>> fix.
17. 0:30>> And we know it. And also just in the
18. 0:32round tables like listening to the folks
19. 0:34that you have here like
20. 0:36it was never like, "Oh, we hired this
21. 0:37person and they solved it." At least at
22. 0:39like my revenue number. It was always
23. 0:40like they like they figured it out. Like
24. 0:43it's in here or it's like it's in here.
25. 0:45Um
26. 0:46and I think back to like when you were
27. 0:48talking about yesterday with Jim Launch
28. 0:50and being in a dark place, want to get
29. 0:52out of the business, but then you guys,
30. 0:54you know, what ended up becoming the the
31. 0:57Valley ex- accelerated model. But in
32. 1:00your darkest days, you figured out like
33. 1:01what that was going to be and like look
34. 1:02where that set you up to now. But like
35. 1:06in those darker moments or when you just
36. 1:07didn't want to do the work, like how did
37. 1:09you keep the faith? And then like do you
38. 1:11just constantly keep moving the goalpost
39. 1:12or does that feeling just never go away?
40. 1:16>> Um
41. 1:17>> [sighs]
42. 1:19>> I think the honest truth of it is I
43. 1:21don't have many alternatives that I
44. 1:23enjoy more than business.
45. 1:25And so I've kind of I have a relatively
46. 1:28bleak perspective and so if you have a a
47. 1:30world view that's working for you,
48. 1:32ignore what I'm about to say.
49. 1:34Um but for me, I kind of just take the
50. 1:38the the the premise of life is that life
51. 1:40is suffering.
52. 1:41And so suffering is a constant. And so
53. 1:44if I don't do anything, which I did take
54. 1:46a year off during the sale, um I was
55. 1:48miserable. And when I'm growing a
56. 1:51business, I'm also miserable. It's just
57. 1:52different. And when a business is
58. 1:54plateauing and we can't move forward
59. 1:56because we're constrained for whatever
60. 1:57reason, I'm also miserable. And so,
61. 1:59whether we're shrinking, I'm doing
62. 2:00nothing, we're growing, or plateauing,
63. 2:03misery is just a constant. And so, I'm
64. 2:05being real. And so, then um
65. 2:08I mean, the frame that I had has always
66. 2:10been
67. 2:11and I'm being crude on purpose, so I
68. 2:12apologize, but like I was 19 years old
69. 2:14when I decided that [ __ ] happiness was
70. 2:15my was kind of going to be my mantra um
71. 2:18because I was so dissatisfied with the
72. 2:19fact that I could never feel like I was
73. 2:21happy. And so, then I was like I shifted
74. 2:23to like, well, I'll just be useful. And
75. 2:25that has served me really well in my
76. 2:27life. It's like, if I can just be
77. 2:29useful,
78. 2:30it's an interesting um
79. 2:32goal because when you're useful, it's
80. 2:34inherently a service-oriented goal cuz
81. 2:36you have to be useful to someone. But it
82. 2:39also gives you something to do because
83. 2:40in order to be useful to someone, you
84. 2:42have to learn stuff.
85. 2:43And so, for me, continuing to play the
86. 2:46game has just gotten me better at
87. 2:48playing the game. And whenever I get sad
88. 2:51or whenever I'm, you know, going through
89. 2:52a hard time, like right now, this is the
90. 2:53hardest year I've had in the last 8
91. 2:55years. So, this is a local minimum for
92. 2:56me.
93. 2:57Um I actually ranked my last 13 years,
94. 3:01and this is uh the fifth worst year I've
95. 3:03had. Um but the worst year out of the
96. 3:06last eight. So, you know, haven't had it
97. 3:08this bad in a minute. Um but it is
98. 3:10helpful to remember that like, you know,
99. 3:11when I lost everything one year twice,
100. 3:13that was my second worst year. The worst
101. 3:15year was the first year I started my
102. 3:16business. And so, like everything's
103. 3:18relative. I have problems now, they are
104. 3:19better problems than I used to have, but
105. 3:20they are problems nonetheless.
106. 3:22And so,
107. 3:23the
108. 3:24um
109. 3:25the perspective that I have is what else
110. 3:27am I going to do?
111. 3:30And if there's a day that I find out
112. 3:31that there's something that I could do
113. 3:32that I enjoy more than what I do now,
114. 3:34then I will do that immediately.
115. 3:37But there's um there's a really
116. 3:38interesting thing, it's kind of a
117. 3:39Buddhist philosophy, which is that um
118. 3:43in all suffering, there is you have
119. 3:45suffering because there is capacity for
120. 3:46joy.
121. 3:48So, one can't exist without the other.
122. 3:51Because the opposite of joy is apathy,
123. 3:53not suffering. It's a thin line. It's
124. 3:55like when you love someone and then you
125. 3:56hate them. It can happen really fast.
126. 3:57But you don't go from love to apathy
127. 3:59overnight.
128. 4:00And so, um
129. 4:02I have suffered in the game because I
130. 4:03also have great moments, you know, that
131. 4:06occur within it. And so, um for me,
132. 4:09everything always gets boiled down to
133. 4:10behavior, which is kind of my
134. 4:12overarching frame for understanding
135. 4:14reality, is that boiling everything down
136. 4:16to what will I do and how does this
137. 4:18affect what I do? And so, what I found
138. 4:20is that a lot of the the suffering that
139. 4:22that I experience
140. 4:24is actually entirely in my mind. And so,
141. 4:27for example, let's say I make a bad
142. 4:28business decision and I lose $17 million
143. 4:31in cash, which I just did. Um which
144. 4:34sucked.
145. 4:35And when that happened, I was like,
146. 4:37"Okay, that sucked. Um
147. 4:41what does this change about my life?
148. 4:43I eat the same food. I'm married to the
149. 4:45same girl. I work the same job. I have
150. 4:47the same team. I come to the same
151. 4:48building. I live in the same city.
152. 4:51Nothing has changed about my life
153. 4:52besides the idea that there was a number
154. 4:54that no longer is there. And so, that
155. 4:56means that all of the suffering is
156. 4:58optional. It's voluntary. I'm choosing
157. 5:00to decide that I'm going to suffer with
158. 5:01this. But in terms of how my life has
159. 5:03changed, it has changed zero.
160. 5:05And what's interesting is that the more,
161. 5:07or rather the less you change your
162. 5:09lifestyle in accordance with your
163. 5:11business success, the more resilient you
164. 5:14are because it means that fewer things
165. 5:16ever change anything about your life.
166. 5:18>> say that again?
167. 5:19>> So, if you don't change your lifestyle
168. 5:22as your business becomes more successful
169. 5:23and makes more money, then if it becomes
170. 5:25less successful momentarily or you have
171. 5:27some sort of volatility in the business,
172. 5:29if your baseline is here, the volatility
173. 5:31up here doesn't change anything. So,
174. 5:33it's almost like making your anchor 100
175. 5:36100 ft below the surface of the water.
176. 5:38And so, the choppiness of the waves
177. 5:39doesn't matter. But if it's really
178. 5:41important for you to get these tiny
179. 5:42blips that happen with the waves at the
180. 5:44top of the surface, you do get higher
181. 5:45highs, but you also will experience the
182. 5:47crashing of the waves. But if you're
183. 5:49just always at the bottom of the ocean,
184. 5:51then you're like you can barely hear it.
185. 5:53And so that is kind of how I focus my
186. 5:55attention, which is number one, what
187. 5:57does this change about my life? And then
188. 5:59number two, what am I going to do
189. 6:00instead?
190. 6:02And so the answer to that question has
191. 6:03almost never been change what I'm doing.
192. 6:05It's always like, well,
193. 6:07I'll learn and I'll get better. And the
194. 6:10thing is is that like knowing that
195. 6:12suffering has been a constant at every
196. 6:14chapter of business for me. Um
197. 6:18You guys cool with me talking about
198. 6:19this? All right. So
199. 6:22what's really weird about humans is that
200. 6:25we have You probably heard of like
201. 6:26hedonic adaptation, right? So you like
202. 6:29you you can only eat so much cake, you
203. 6:31can only, you know, enjoy so much
204. 6:32pleasure before you get used to it
205. 6:33really quickly, right? What's really
206. 6:35interesting about that is we actually
207. 6:37have the same thing in reverse, which is
208. 6:38that we actually adapt to suffering as
209. 6:40well. But then why does suffering still
210. 6:41hurt? And so just like pleasure, if you
211. 6:45want to make someone suffer, if you want
212. 6:47to punish someone effectively, then you
213. 6:49need to change the intensity and variety
214. 6:51of punishment, just like you need to
215. 6:52change the intensity and variety of
216. 6:54pleasure in order to keep the kind of
217. 6:55the hedonic cycle going. And so what's
218. 6:58nasty about business is that it's very
219. 7:00good at changing the intensity and
220. 7:01variety of punishment.
221. 7:03It's like there I didn't know I could
222. 7:05[ __ ] up that way.
223. 7:06Wow, what an experience. I'm so grateful
224. 7:08for this.
225. 7:10Cuz the thing is the second time you get
226. 7:11screwed by an employee, it doesn't hurt
227. 7:13as much. The second time you get sued,
228. 7:14you're like, okay, it's another one of
229. 7:15these. Um and so what's difficult about
230. 7:18business is that if you stay in the same
231. 7:20vein, it does become less painful
232. 7:22because there are fewer things that are
233. 7:24outside of the realm that you haven't
234. 7:25already experienced. But you also don't
235. 7:27get the hedonic pleasures of the novelty
236. 7:30of growth. And so you miss out on both
237. 7:32sides. And that's why there's both joy
238. 7:34and suffering in growth.
239. 7:35>> Do you feel like in the mentors that
240. 7:37you've had and the people that you've
241. 7:38talked to that are further along the way
242. 7:39that they have that same operating
243. 7:41perspective or is this unique to you?
244. 7:43>> I think everyone has whatever whatever
245. 7:44whatever their modus operandi is. So for
246. 7:47me this is what has worked and so I'm
247. 7:48this is by no means you know like my
248. 7:50constant is never is never a sermon.
249. 7:52It's always just a documentary. This is
250. 7:53what worked for me. If you have
251. 7:54something that works for you by all
252. 7:55means do it.
253. 7:56Um but I would say like I've never I've
254. 7:59never
255. 8:00strove striven um to win the award for
256. 8:02happiest guy. I've never claimed to have
257. 8:04that title. I I think if anything I've
258. 8:06struggled a lot more on nihilism of why
259. 8:08bother.
260. 8:09Um I'd say that that's the thing that I
261. 8:10struggle the most with in my life is
262. 8:12like
263. 8:13I don't need to do any of this. I really
264. 8:15don't. And some people say that I really
265. 8:16don't need to do this.
266. 8:18Um
267. 8:19and I do it because um
268. 8:21I want to be useful.
269. 8:23And so like
270. 8:26that gives me some inkling of meaning.
271. 8:29And so I chase that. But I definitely
272. 8:30have bad days.
273. 8:32Um and I'm definitely in a season right
274. 8:33now where it's tougher for me. But
275. 8:36>> [snorts]
276. 8:37>> it's just a game.
277. 8:38>> Yeah.
278. 8:39Well, I speak on behalf of everybody
279. 8:40here you made a big difference for all
280. 8:41of our lives so
281. 8:43>> I appreciate it. Thank you.
282. 8:46So if you've hit a revenue ceiling or
283. 8:48your entire business relies on you to
284. 8:49grow then I'd love to invite you out to
285. 8:51our headquarters here in Vegas to learn
286. 8:53how we scale. It's a my team spends two
287. 8:55days with you to identify the thing
288. 8:57that's holding your business back. And
289. 8:58so if that sounds interesting click book
290. 9:00a call and if you're a fit we'd love to
291. 9:02potentially see you out here in Vegas.