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Immaculee Ilibagiza — Transcript

by Bishop O'Connell High School · 3,604 words · 488 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:09It is really a great joy to be here to
0:12share my story. Thank you for giving me
0:13a chance to be the one to speak because
0:15I do know we all have stories to share.
0:19We all have pain we go through in our
0:21lives and it teaches us something. But
0:26you want me to share tonight. The
0:29genocide as you saw in the documentary
0:31started in 1994. I was a student in
0:34college and I have just happened to be
0:36home for Easter holiday. And I never
0:38forgot the date all started. It was
0:41Wednesday 7th of April. I was sleeping
0:44in the morning 6:00. My brother who had
0:47just finished his master's degree, he
0:49was also home for the holiday. He came
0:51to my room and pushed the door and he
0:54gave me the news that the president of
0:56the country died. I remember jumping out
0:58and I said, "Oh my gosh, they're going
1:00to kill us." I remember he said, "Why?
1:03Why you think they will kill us?" I
1:05said, "You see, whatever you used to say
1:07that we are bad where Rwanda had two
1:09main tribes, three tribes. One was like
1:12really like 1%. The others were, you
1:15know, the remaining of the country.
1:17Somehow my tribe was hated. But it is a
1:20long story that start from the time of
1:23colonialization. The Belgians colonized
1:25our country 1994 1900 and some one time
1:29really where the trouble started. The
1:32king wanted them to leave but the colony
1:34was there to colonize but the country
1:37thought they are here as visitors. Now
1:39they starting to take over little by
1:41little. So what they did was they
1:43divided the people of the country in two
1:46main tribes. Hutu and
1:48Tootsies. Every tall person, those were
1:52the
1:52criterias. Every tall person became a
1:55tootsie. Every short person became a
1:58hoou. And that was also the height
2:01depending on whatever measurements they
2:03had. They had a measurement of what the
2:05nose is supposed to look like and the
2:09size between the eyes is supposed to be.
2:12And if you fell into this category, you
2:14become one tribe. If you fail in the
2:16other, you became the other tribe. To a
2:19point where among brothers, same father,
2:22same mother became different tribes. And
2:25from that moment on, that how evil can
2:28be so bad and attack anybody from the
2:31nails they can make you different. And
2:33if evil slides into that, you can kill
2:36each other out of the sizes of the
2:38nails. We really have to kill God our
2:40hearts and be smart. So they divided and
2:44then they issued identity cards which
2:46was like a driver license we use here in
2:48the US and they wrote on that driver
2:51license identity card who you were and
2:54from that second you could not go back
2:57you were a tootsie or you ho so when
2:59they want the king was against them like
3:01please stop doing this they said oh you
3:04are a tootsie then let's go to tell
3:06hutus how bad tootsies are then it
3:08became like two movement fighting but
3:10for somebody's reason any interest.
3:13Every war, there is no such a war that
3:16happened to any country. I believe
3:18because people are different. They just
3:20hate each other. They wake up, they want
3:22to kill each other because they were
3:23created different differently. It is
3:27always the propaganda of the leaders for
3:29their own interest that would make up
3:32something and then they would you know
3:34grow that and become hatred but really
3:37manipulating. So that how the whole
3:39tribes were created. In the beginning,
3:42Rwans were like, "Oh, good touts are
3:44fine." Until they started to tell you
3:47they are bad. And then people really
3:49started to kind oh maybe they are. But
3:53by the time I was home around the time
3:56the genocide started, everything was
3:58good among neighbors. The radio you saw
4:01in the documentary, that is the radio
4:03that really propaganded the hatred among
4:07people for two years before the genocide
4:09because they were preparing it. They
4:12used to say on that radio, the
4:13journalist, they used to make themselves
4:15like they were drunk. They would say
4:17like give me scotch, give me whiskey,
4:20one day we'll kill them. They are not
4:22human beings. Have you seen they have
4:25horns, they have tails? And as a tooth
4:28you just look down like, "Oh my god, I
4:31never had to wear any high heel because
4:33I don't want to be taller cuz being tall
4:35was bad." And you see in the magazine,
4:38all the tall girls are beautiful. I'm
4:40like, I want to go
4:42there. So we we grew up just like trying
4:45to shrink like that. When my brother
4:48told me, my mind went right back. Oh my
4:50gosh, this is it. That what they were
4:53preparing. They were going to kill us.
4:55It was just like a movie in my head. I
4:57went out and my parents were all worried
5:00and I remember we put on the radio after
5:03two hours the whole thing have started.
5:05BBC radio have reported 18 families that
5:09were killed by the gods of the president
5:12saying that they were bad. 18 families
5:14outside. They were killing things like
5:17reporting. They were reporting like 10
5:19children and mom and dad have just been
5:21killed. Eight children and mom and dad
5:24have just been killed. And then I
5:26remember my father saying this never
5:28happened before where they killed the
5:30whole family. Well, that's why they call
5:32it a genocide. They attempt to eliminate
5:35a whole group of people. About the end
5:38of the day, we had so many people around
5:40my home. So many people, thousands of
5:42people. By the second day, we had about
5:4410,000 people. And people were asking my
5:47parents what to do. As I was saying
5:50about the lessons I have learned
5:51throughout this genocide, that was a
5:54moment when I saw people coming from the
5:56moment they said that the president died
5:58a day before my father was speaking to
6:00all people. They have blocked the
6:03borders of the country. They shut down
6:05every activity in the country. The only
6:07thing was being done was killing people
6:09family by family. And then he said if
6:12this is the government even then we do
6:14not have to fear or worry. We should
6:18take this as a chance God is giving us
6:21to repent our sins so we can go to
6:24heaven. In my life, I never thought of
6:26heaven as real as my dad put it. I mean,
6:30you hear people telling people how to
6:31run, doctors how to give you medication
6:34so you can heal. You don't tell people
6:36how to die. And he's not a doctor who is
6:40telling them you you might die so you
6:42can see this as a chance. He is dying
6:44with them. He's a toothy just like them.
6:47I'm like really well in that second I
6:51was repenting in my heart. Everyone went
6:54quiet. We were all thinking about have I
6:56done anything? Anybody I have think of
6:59bad let me just clear things with God in
7:02case we die. And after few minutes we
7:04all kind of replying in our hearts. We
7:07started shouting again. He came to me
7:09from there handed me a rosary exactly
7:12like this. Somebody made it as a replica
7:14red and white. the other ones somebody
7:16stole it. I wrote the story in my second
7:20book led by faith and he handed me a
7:24rosary. He said I want you to go to
7:26hide. I cannot protect people and what
7:29about you as one girl everyone wanted to
7:32protect me and I really left out of
7:34obedience. I thought what if I go and
7:37something happened? He's like you need
7:39to go I'm asking you to leave.
7:42My brother was there and I remember he
7:44told my dad, "Dad, you're asking her to
7:47go to somebody from the other tribe who
7:50is not our friends and if things go bad,
7:53they might kill her." As I was saying, I
7:55remember my father saying, I know that
7:58man, even if things go bad, he will not
8:01be able to kill. And that really what
8:04reminded me of what he used to tell us,
8:07don't judge people. Don't put people in
8:10boxes. It's much easier when somebody
8:12from that religion does wrong to point
8:14finger to everybody from that race to
8:17point a finger to everybody from that
8:18state to they're all the same. So make
8:21an effort to welcome people give them a
8:24chance to prove you wrong and then
8:26protect yourself. And that day it was
8:29the time I said he really meant it.
8:31We're about to die and he's sending me
8:33to somebody who seemingly supposed to be
8:35our enemy. But he knew him because he
8:38allowed his heart to know the man. I
8:41went to him and I this man put me to sit
8:44in a bathroom small bathroom 3x4 ft
8:48about 3:00 in the morning. He came to
8:49look for me where he put me for I
8:52remember when I saw the place. This is a
8:54student coming from college. I have my
8:57own room at university and I have my own
9:00home. All the boys slept in one room,
9:03one daughter. I had my
9:05own and they putting me to sit in a
9:08bathroom 3x4 ft. I remember looking this
9:11is too small for me. What am I going to
9:13do? When he went back and brought five
9:15more
9:16women left, I went back and brought two
9:18more women. We were eight people in a
9:21place of three by four feet. We were
9:24literally sitting on the top of each
9:26other. The youngest was seven years old.
9:29She had to sit on our lap. Over time, we
9:32lost weight so we can really feel a
9:34little bit
9:35better. But when he put us there, he
9:37told us not to make any noise, not even
9:40to flush the water of the bathroom until
9:42somebody else is flushing the water in
9:44the next
9:45bathroom. That was kind enough. I love
9:49has a way of warming the heart. It felt
9:51good that he was trying to help, you
9:53know, to protect that much. He told us
9:55that he would tell his children that he
9:58lost the key of the bathroom so no one
10:00would come there even if over time they
10:02were asking him to bring a technician
10:05and that was like dying to hear that
10:07outside to break the door. So thank God
10:11that was only house in the whole village
10:13you don't even know how blessed you are.
10:16But if you think about that you will be
10:18thanking God every day. You'll be so
10:20happy with what you have. It was only
10:22house in the whole village that had two
10:25bathrooms in one house and that house
10:28was given to him as a gift by a school
10:30he helped to build and that's why they
10:33build two bathrooms inside otherwise in
10:35Rwanda especially my poor village we
10:38just have a bathroom inside one or one
10:40outside and nothing we sat there I
10:44remember the first week I had so many
10:46emotions I just couldn't be there and
10:49accept that I was in the bathroom First
10:51we thought it was going to be two three
10:53days and the fourth day went by and we
10:56are still sitting on the top of each
10:58other. I was tired. I was impatient. You
11:02know when you feel there are some
11:04emotions by the way you don't know until
11:07you feel them. When somebody tells you
11:10they feel this way just ask them how you
11:12can help because sometimes you just
11:14don't know what they're going through. I
11:17remember wanting to die out of being a
11:20patient. How and when and why me? Why?
11:27Why am I supposed to be in the bathroom?
11:29This is not even like I'm a stranger in
11:31another home, in another village. I am
11:33in my own village where people loved me
11:36and I'm hiding for something I have not
11:39done. I have not created. God made me
11:42so. Why is it so bad? The man came to
11:45give us food. The food he could afford
11:47was the leftovers of his children. The
11:50food we ate and mashed and put in the
11:52garbage and we're going to grab one
11:54plate at night cuz no one knows we are
11:56there and we come and throw it in the
11:58bathroom and run. Not that he wanted to
12:01give us that but that what he could
12:03afford to give us. It was so hard. And
12:06when he brought us food, I grabbed him
12:09and I had an idea. Something was like
12:11ask him at least what's going on. We
12:13couldn't talk. I asked him, "Put a radio
12:16outside so we can hear what's going on
12:17in the country. Then we can think of
12:19what you can do if you know." He was
12:22kind. He put three radios, different
12:25channels in different corners of the
12:28bathroom outside. I couldn't believe
12:31what was hearing in my ears on radio.
12:35The government that used to hide behind
12:37the private radio was now calling
12:40everybody to go out and kill people of
12:43my tribe. I remember one man who had a
12:47PhD, a father of one of my girlfriend
12:49actually from high school. We were in a
12:51boarding school. We went to school with
12:53many rich children. He went on radio and
12:57he said how laughing they have killed
13:00thousands of people who have run to
13:02stadiums. They used to go on the edges
13:05of the stadium and they would throw
13:07hundreds of grenades inside and blow up
13:10everybody. They will go to churches or
13:12like at a place like this, make holes at
13:15the edge, put guns and fire and blow up
13:17everybody inside. And he was laughing
13:20how they have done great. And then he
13:22said when you see children don't forget
13:25them. A child of a snake is a snake and
13:28a child of a cockroach is a cockroach.
13:31They were calling us cockroaches and
13:33snakes. And that what people do. That's
13:36all we do. When we call people stupid,
13:38we don't want them to have the same
13:40dignity as us. When we call them a less
13:44name, we insult them. We want to
13:46minimize their humanity. So then we can
13:48hate them better cuz if they human being
13:50like us, then we have to respect them.
13:54So they called us all small names so
13:56that the mind can think oh this is not a
13:58human being. So he said, "Don't forget
14:01the children." I remember thinking,
14:02"What happened to
14:04people?" I remember feeling like I had
14:07voices on my
14:09shoulders. And one voice was telling me,
14:11"Very reasonable, very smart, open the
14:15door. End the torture. This is too much.
14:19You can't take it. How long? They will
14:21find you anyway." I know. This is a four
14:24bedroomedroom house. How do you think
14:27300 people are not going to find one
14:30bedroom, one door? It's just impossible.
14:34Then on the other hand, there was
14:36another voice that was saying, "Don't
14:38open the door." Remember, ask God to
14:43help you. You remember who God is? Cuz
14:45everything was confused. Now, God is
14:48almighty. Remember what that means,
14:50Almighty? It means he can do anything.
14:53Anything. Do you know what that anything
14:56is? This is one of those anything
15:00things. I'm like, that's right. If God
15:03can be almighty, this is nothing to him.
15:06I remember asking God in my heart. If
15:09you are there, if you exist, if somebody
15:13made me, if somebody put all this
15:15together, I am begging you, don't let
15:18the killers find the door of the
15:20bathroom. If they don't find it today, I
15:23will know it is you who did it. Because
15:26in my human intelligence, I don't see
15:29how 300 people, 400 can miss out one
15:32door in a four bedroomedroom
15:34house. I think after that I fainted. The
15:37good God knew I couldn't handle those
15:40two
15:42conversations. I think I didn't hear
15:45nothing until 5 hours later. The man who
15:48was hiding us, he came in. We literally
15:51thought the killers have found us. We
15:54were still frozen. And then he told us I
15:57left 3 hours before. He's like, "You
15:59didn't know. You should have told us
16:03early." But he told us what happened. He
16:07he told us there were 400 people about
16:10that. He told us that a number of them
16:13when they came in like a hundred of them
16:15went to make a circle around the house
16:17to make sure that nobody jumps out of
16:20the window. Another number went on the
16:22top of the house on the ceiling to make
16:24sure that nobody goes there. Another
16:27number went in the ceiling of the house
16:29on the roof and the ceiling with
16:31flashlights to make sure that nobody is
16:34laying there hiding. And then they went
16:36in every room under the beds in the
16:39closet. They even opened suitcases to
16:42see if there was
16:44babies. At last, they came right to the
16:47door of the
16:48bathroom. He said one of the killer
16:51touched the handle and before he opened,
16:54the man said he was sweating, was
16:56shaking. They could have just looked at
16:58his face. They would have known that was
17:00the place. He said he touched the handle
17:03and before he opened, he told him, "You
17:06know what? We trust you. you are good
17:09man, you are a good guy, you can't hide
17:11this bad people. And he said they turned
17:14around and
17:15left. The man told us, I don't know what
17:18you are praying, how you are
17:20praying, but whatever you doing, keep
17:23doing
17:24it. In that second, the shocking part
17:27for me was, "Oh my god, God is
17:31real. God heard me in the bathroom.
17:37I didn't even talk. He read my thoughts.
17:41God is real. I can keep talking to him.
17:44Then something was like, well, you
17:46better get to know him before you lose
17:48your faith again. And I thought, how am
17:50I going to do it? Well, how can you do
17:53it? You can't talk. You can't go to
17:55church. You can't talk to nobody. Ask a
17:58pastor or a priest. And I remember
18:00something said, "Ask him to give me a
18:02Bible. At least we can read since you
18:05can't talk. I grabbed the man. I asked
18:07him if he can give me a Bible. I had the
18:10rosary my dad gave me. It was everything
18:12I had and the clothes I had on my back.
18:15We were not showering, no brushing the
18:17teeth. I don't remember any smell in
18:19that bathroom. I only remember the fear
18:22outside, inside my heart from people,
18:25nothing else. And we're going the
18:26bathroom right in front of each other.
18:28We are eight ladies and we are many of
18:31us we are adults. So it was just not
18:34easy. So I took the Bible and I started
18:37to read not how sometimes we read the
18:40Bible just to make sure we prayed for
18:42the day. I was reading questioning and
18:46asking him what does it mean? What this
18:49land means from what was before that and
18:52what happened after that. I wanted to
18:54know the whole story and believe me that
18:57helped me to put things in perspective
18:59and wanted to seek more how do you get
19:02there and reminding me if anyone is
19:05dying our people are not lost there is
19:08life after that and if you can make it
19:12lucky are you blessed are
19:14you ended up staying in that bathroom
19:17three months from April to
19:20July in that same bathroom never spoke
19:24to each other. We don't know when it is
19:26ending. Even if we followed on radio, we
19:29can feel things
19:30changing. We came out when the
19:33government that was on power have run
19:35away from the country and people from my
19:38tribe and the other tribe took over the
19:40country who were against the genocide
19:42and were free. But when we came outside,
19:45I remember the very first day I found
19:48out that everybody in my family was
19:51killed.
19:52I was really hoping that maybe
19:54somebody's hiding. My dad, my dad, my
19:58mom, my two
20:00brothers, my grandma, my grandpa, my
20:05uncles, my aunts, my neighbors, my
20:09schoolmates, my best friends, everybody
20:12was
20:13killed. A million people was killed in a
20:16period of three months. Rwanda is the
20:19size of Maryland state.
20:22Everywhere was dead bodies and dogs were
20:25eating
20:25people. It was those things you only saw
20:29in stories or you heard you read in
20:32revelation not something can happen in
20:34your lifetime. I remember over and over
20:37like why my generation why in whole
20:41world me if I am talking to you it does
20:45not mean that my message only concerns
20:47Rwanda not even just Africa but the
20:51whole world and when I wrote that book I
20:54really had my new home in mind in my
20:57heart because I live here now in America
21:00and I had the whole world in mind if we
21:02can make mistake and don't love each
21:05other don't care enough about God. At
21:08least you can. At least we can here. I
21:11have children now. Again, I have to
21:13protect my family. But there's no better
21:15protection than truly coming back to the
21:18core values to care for one another.

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