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Ilia Malinin on Finding Freedom From Pressure After the Olympics — Transcript

by Mikaela Shiffrin · 16,327 words · 2,378 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00They were giving me these challenges of,
0:02you know, how can I impress them more?
0:03How can I impress them more?
0:04>> And there's certain competitions that
0:06just seem to be bigger than life. And
0:07the Olympics are one of them.
0:08>> I'm not letting this happen anymore. I'm
0:10done being this like puppet.
0:12>> I know I speak for a lot of people
0:14saying how powerful that was.
0:16>> I felt burnt out because I was just
0:18trying to kind of, you know, be a people
0:22pleaser.
0:23>> And that sometimes for me is a trigger
0:25like, girl, walk away. I'm very excited
0:27to talk about cats. Most importantly,
0:29>> you sort of manifested it.
0:36Before we get into it with Ilia, I want
0:39to do a quick Stifl USQ team update
0:41because this past weekend in Sen was a
0:45big one. For starters, Paula Moltzen,
0:50period, Paula Moltzen achieved her first
0:54World Cup victory and it's oh my gosh,
0:58she has been working at this for so
1:00long. She's been so close for so long
1:02and she's had podium after podium,
1:05especially in the past couple seasons.
1:07She's world championships medal. She has
1:09Olympic medal. She has
1:12she has been so close. She's been
1:15hundreds away from it, just within
1:17several ten of a second, you know. So,
1:21the way this happened, it was really
1:23cool. Kicking off the season. It's
1:25history for our sport. This was after
1:27she just made a change in her ski
1:29equipment and sort of a monumental shift
1:33in her own um gear and being the first
1:37woman to compete on these skis in a
1:39World Cup race and just like a number of
1:42things happening and it all culminated
1:45for her to edge out Laura Cultur by
1:48100th of a second coming back from fifth
1:51in the second run to just rip down the
1:56in really challenging conditions that
1:58were only getting more challenging and
2:00she she made it happen. It was it was
2:04really cool to see that to kick off this
2:06season even better than where she left
2:08off last year.
2:10Very very cool and it was a really
2:13inspiring day for the whole women's
2:15alpine team. I just want to really shout
2:18out to Seafo for their support of the US
2:21ski team. It means so much to all of us.
2:24It makes it possible for us to kick off
2:26the season with results like these and
2:29especially in a weekend like this, we
2:31just can't show enough gratitude.
2:34So, that's an update on the results side
2:37and that doesn't even cover
2:40everything else that goes into this
2:42outside of the result sheet or the
2:44broadcasting. And that's what I want to
2:46get into next.
2:48I've been calling this season my
2:51exploration season.
2:54bit more focus or space to focus on GS
2:59Super G. Just kind of taking a little
3:02bit of a different approach to training
3:05and competition than I have for the past
3:0716 years. And I'm really curious to see
3:09how this all goes. I think a lot of
3:11people might be curious or many people
3:15have at least asked how I feel about it
3:17so far. So, we're going to start
3:19something new here called Field Notes.
3:23I'm just going to kind of update on how
3:26things are going before every episode,
3:28specific to how I feel about this sort
3:31of shift in strategy for this
3:33competition season in my schedule. And
3:36I'll talk about what I'm learning and
3:39what's working or what maybe might not
3:41be working and just what it feels like
3:43from
3:45from my world, from the inside of this
3:48this universe.
3:50So this is field notes one from solden
3:53Austria. Going into this weekend, I
3:56think it was just such a shift from
3:58where I was last year at this time where
4:01I was fighting to stay in the top 30
4:04standings in Giant Soom. I was feeling
4:07like this soldin race was going to be
4:10really truly a decider of whether I
4:12could continue my GS career or not. So
4:15this race last year felt very
4:19existential.
4:21And this year I had a different feeling,
4:25a different vibe. I felt like I trusted
4:27where my skiing was going. I've
4:31felt really good with the team, with the
4:33environment, with our sort of general
4:35mentality and
4:37not specifically nervous, just like a
4:41healthy level of anticipatory
4:44excitement, I would say.
4:48And the one area where I felt like
4:54this is
4:56this is where I feel the most pressure
4:58is that if I kicked off the first race
5:00of the season and I was really not
5:03competitive with the top athletes
5:07that potentially people would say, "Oh,
5:10how do you feel about this exploration
5:12season now? do you want to change and go
5:14back to race solemn? And that was kind
5:18of my my one fear going into this race.
5:21But setting that aside, I just tried to
5:26enjoy the race day the best I could. We
5:28focus with the team. We I have a couple
5:30new members of the team this year, a
5:33couple switches. I have a new physical
5:34therapist. Uh I have a new ski
5:37technician assisting Robbie. So there's
5:40a couple shifts that have gone on within
5:42our team and we're just really trying to
5:44make sure that everybody feels together,
5:46feels part of the family and knows what
5:48to expect on training and race day. So
5:51so much of this felt like very very
5:53processoriented.
5:55And when I went into the first run, I
6:00just
6:02I felt really good with my skiing and my
6:05timing. It was super fun. It was just a
6:08beautiful run and I got to the finish. I
6:11was like, "Oh my gosh, that's the green
6:14light." I haven't had the green light in
6:16a first run in a really long time. Like
6:20I mean years. I can't I I almost have
6:24come to expect that it's going to be
6:26red. I'm going to be behind. It's just
6:28trying to It's like minimizing the
6:30damage a little bit. So when I came
6:32through the finish and I saw the green
6:34light and I was like, "Oh my gosh,
6:37that's that is just that feels like
6:42the biggest weight off my shoulders to
6:46say like my best skiing is competitive
6:50and
6:52that's a really good start." So all in
6:55all, I think that run was the
7:01just sort of the thing that made me feel
7:06the most happy during this day. And the
7:08second run
7:10was tough. Conditions got really
7:12challenging. Visibility got really,
7:15really challenging. And I felt like I
7:18attacked my best turns I felt were very
7:20good. I going back and analyzing the
7:23run, there were some mistakes that
7:26happened. There were a couple things
7:27that kind of
7:29went on towards the end of the pitch in
7:31particular. Um, I didn't really expect
7:35to
7:37get faster than my competitors given
7:40some of the weather challenges. So, it
7:42was kind of like again a little bit
7:44minimize the damage. But the biggest
7:45thing for me in those conditions was
7:47actually taking it on and skiing. not
7:51skiing afraid. I had some bobbles. I had
7:53some mistakes. I
7:57lost time. But all of that aside, I had
8:01a mentality that felt really
8:05different than what I've had in those
8:07kinds of conditions in the past. And
8:09trying to sort of sort through the noise
8:11and focus in on that mentality as
8:14something that I'm taking forward and
8:15just
8:18keep that with me. and at the same time
8:21crossing the finish and finding out that
8:23Paul Molson had gotten her first victory
8:26though there was just there were so many
8:29layers to this day layers reasons to be
8:31excited reasons to be
8:34happy and to celebrate and
8:38I guess a lot of times people would
8:40think if you go from first to seventh
8:43from the first run to the second run
8:44obviously that's going to be not a
8:46result on paper that anyone's really
8:49shouting from the rooftops about, but
8:52there are so many things within that
8:54that I'm really, really proud of. So,
8:57um, we're taking it step by step. First
8:59step of the season is done. Now, we've
9:02got some more training coming up. This
9:06next block of the season is actually
9:08what I'm the most excited about, I
9:10think, because
9:13it's also probably going to feel the
9:14most weird, but not going to Levy
9:17Finland and not going to Gurgle to race
9:21these first two psalms of the season,
9:23that's where probably the most jarring
9:26change in my schedule is happening. And
9:29it's going to allow me to have a few
9:32days of superg training.
9:35I mean, praying for the weather
9:38conditions to work out. Few days of
9:40super G training and a few days of
9:43solemn training in preparation for
9:45Killington. And a few days at home of
9:48actual recovery. I'll travel back to the
9:50USA. have a few days at home of actual
9:52recovery, a few sessions in the gym,
9:55sort of like a body reset, and then get
9:59on snow with teammates in Colorado to
10:03prep for basically Killington,
10:06Tremblant, Beaver Creek,
10:09St. Maritz, and then the Christmas time
10:11races. That's going to be the next bulk
10:13of the season that just goes bam, bam,
10:15bam, bam, bam. So, what I'm really
10:17looking forward to that's going to feel
10:19very different, but I think I'm just
10:21excited to see how it goes is the next
10:25three to four weeks of the potential to
10:29create space for my body, space for my
10:32mind, space for travel, and space for
10:35preparation in a different way than I
10:37have the last couple years. That's I'm
10:40just interested to see how that goes.
10:43So, that's Field Notes one, and I'll
10:47keep these going as the season goes on.
10:50But speaking of figuring things out,
10:54today's guest knows quite a lot about
10:56that. So, let's get into it. So, today's
10:59guest has completely changed everybody's
11:02idea of what's possible in figure
11:04skating. He's become known around the
11:07world for doing things that many people
11:08believed couldn't be done on ice,
11:10earning the nickname quad god, which is
11:13honestly one of the coolest and probably
11:15the hardest to live up to nicknames in
11:18sport as a whole. And what fascinates me
11:21the most isn't only the jumps or the
11:24quads only. It's what happens after you
11:27redefine what's possible. It's once you
11:31become the person who keeps raising the
11:33bar and people
11:35uh kind of stop celebrating those
11:38impossible milestones and they start to
11:40expect them. And today I want to talk
11:42about the pressure and the identity and
11:44the joy and a little bit about cats and
11:46how you stay connected to yourself when
11:49the world is sometimes more interested
11:51in what you can do than who you are. So
11:54Ilia, thank you so much for joining me
11:56on what's the point. Of course. This is
11:58a pleasure. I'm very excited to talk
12:00about cats most importantly. That's the
12:02big big subject I'm most important to
12:04talk about.
12:06>> Well, we're gonna start with the cats.
12:07Um because we may compete in different
12:09sports obviously.
12:12But I do think we share an important
12:14personality trait, which is being cat
12:16obsessed. So, um I used to have a cat.
12:19Her name was Muffin. She passed away
12:22several years about six years ago. Um,
12:25I was wondering who actually is in
12:28charge at your house. Is it you or your
12:29cats?
12:30>> I would It's like kind of both. Like
12:33there's a
12:34>> really
12:34>> It's very hard to explain. It's like a
12:36little bit of like a competition of like
12:39who owns the house because at times when
12:41I'm not home, my cat, which is I have
12:44three cats. Their names are Misty,
12:47Miumu, and Mila. They are like a black,
12:50a white, and a gray like ragd doll. So,
12:53the one that's mine, her name is Misty.
12:56She's like, she's really cuddly. She's
12:58really comfy, but she's also like has
13:00this like mysterious like almost like a
13:02lord vibes. She like, you know, sits
13:05around on top of trees and like just
13:07looks over kind of like,
13:09>> you know, like this is Yeah. Yeah. She's
13:12like, "This is my house. Like, you have
13:14no reason to be here." And then, you
13:17know, I come in, she's like, "Oh, here
13:18we go again." You know, like something
13:20like that. That's what I think is
13:22happening in her head. Yeah,
13:25>> that's amazing. Muffin was kind of like
13:27that. Um, she, my cat, had a little bit
13:31of a traumatic episode when she was
13:33young. Um, one of my
13:36sort of friends or someone I considered
13:38to be a friend at the time came over for
13:40a sleepover and she she dragged Muffin
13:43around by the tail in our basement like
13:46full full abuse. And Muffin like went
13:48from being a sweet sweet cat to hating
13:51strangers. And then for the rest of her
13:53life, she would like lure people in and
13:55anybody knew. She'd sort of lure them
13:57in. She'd rub up against their legs and
13:59she'd like lay on her back and expose
14:01her belly and then they'd try to pet
14:03her. I'd be like, "Don't do it. Don't
14:04fall for the trap. She's like a Venus
14:06fly trap. Like just don't do it." They
14:08would eventually go pet her and she
14:10would eventually or pretty immediately
14:12snapshot on their hand. So most people
14:15who would come to our house have a
14:16muffin scratch somewhere on their body.
14:19>> Very manipulative. I see. Oh my god,
14:21that's crazy.
14:22>> She was a little bit manipulative. She
14:24was smart, but she was also traumatized.
14:26And to this day, I I just don't even
14:30know how somebody could do that. But
14:31anyway, um is there any kind of
14:34personality trait that you share with
14:35your cats?
14:37>> I honestly like I think a little bit. I
14:40think of all three of them, they all
14:42have their own personality. So, like I
14:44said, the black one, she's very like
14:45mysterious and has this like almost like
14:48very confident like look to herselves.
14:51Like she's very confident in what she
14:52does. And I think that resonates a lot
14:54with what I do on the ice. I feel very
14:56confident when I stepped down the ice. I
14:58know, you know, I trusted my training. I
15:00put in so many hours of work just to get
15:02to this point. And it's kind of like we
15:05have the same energy. And then the
15:07second cat, her name is Miumu. She's
15:09like a white rag doll. She's very
15:12cuddly. She's like very adorable and
15:14just so loving and charming and I feel
15:17like I share that part of her and I like
15:20to, you know, I really care about
15:22everyone. I like to be kind. I like to
15:24help people out. That's kind of the
15:26things I enjoy doing. And the third one,
15:28her her name is Mila. She is a grey rag
15:30doll and she's like very curious and
15:33excited to, you know, get to see the
15:35world. The first thing she did is when
15:38we got her, we had to shoot for Sheba
15:41and what they did is, you know, they
15:43shot her around. They shot me with the
15:45cats and she came up to every single
15:47person was like sniffing the camera
15:49equipment, sniffing them, was not
15:51afraid, but the other two cats went to
15:53hide behind like a drawer or something
15:55like that. So, I think I shared that
15:58kind of personality that I'm very
16:00curious and very open and, you know,
16:02excited to learn almost.
16:04That's so interesting. Oh, that's really
16:06cool. I do I do get that from you, but
16:10I was trying to I mean, sometimes with
16:12this podcast, like when I'm asking other
16:13people questions, I'm thinking about how
16:15I might answer it and I'm like,
16:18I don't know, maybe just maybe just the
16:20love of naps. That's probably the only
16:22thing I really share with muffin.
16:26>> Um, so, okay. Okay. So, we're going to
16:28dig into why though, which is a segment
16:30where we kind of ask why certain certain
16:33things exist. Um, I know how how much
16:37precision and how much perfection is
16:39required for skating and this feels
16:42fitting for you. I was wondering why do
16:45you think some people are so fascinated
16:47with perfection?
16:50>> You're putting me under the bus with
16:51that question. That is a very that is a
16:54very like specific question. Well, okay.
16:57Here's a different thought of it just
17:00while you're thinking. Are you like very
17:03precise and kind of perfect perfection
17:06driven outside of skating?
17:08>> Yes.
17:09>> Okay. Okay. So, then answer the first
17:11question if you have thoughts.
17:12>> Okay. Well, I would say I think so
17:15because
17:16for skating it's still like you have to
17:19be so precise and you know almost close
17:22to perfect in order to, you know,
17:24achieve the best results. like you're
17:26landing on like a very thin blade. So,
17:29you have like no room for error. So,
17:31it's literally, you know, you have to be
17:33as perfect as possible in order to, you
17:35know, go the edge you want to go or land
17:38the jump that you want. It's very
17:40precise and it takes a lot of hours, a
17:42lot of energy like any sport does,
17:45honestly. But it's just that segment of
17:47being, you know, so perfect. And not
17:50only that, you have to make it look
17:52perfect for the audience, for the
17:53judges. That's the whole thing about
17:55being judged on it is literally just how
17:57easy you can make it look. So then when
18:00people look look at it from an audience
18:02perspective, they're like, "Oh, this
18:03looks so easy." And then they try and
18:05they're like, "No. It's not easy." Yeah.
18:08It's supposed to look effortless. So
18:09that's kind of where
18:10>> you can
18:12>> you can tell when you're in I shouldn't
18:14be interrupting you, but you can tell
18:16when you're like if you've before you've
18:19I don't know what you call it, but like
18:21started a jump or if you're mid jump.
18:23Can you tell if something's like
18:24slightly off and are you able to
18:27somewhat adjust to that?
18:30>> Yes, you can tell what if something's
18:34slightly off, but usually
18:36it's very hard to, you know, adjust like
18:39midair there. It's very hard to correct
18:41it midair. like only a rare amount of
18:44people can do that, have that ability to
18:46kind of either trust themselves in the
18:48air and know where to put their feet in
18:50order to land safely.
18:52>> Or it's just, you know, being able to
18:53correct yourself right before you take
18:55off
18:56>> cuz I've I've noticed I do that a little
18:58bit. like I'll have like a wonky like
19:00setup and I'll like be shaky but then
19:03I'll be able to adjust right before the
19:05actual takeoff for a jump and it kind of
19:07helps me with the jump but it takes a
19:09lot more energy than it should. So of
19:12course it's always like a sacrifice for
19:14you know how perfect you are to how much
19:15energy you use.
19:18>> Okay. So, do you do you think that you
19:21started to become more interested in
19:24that precision and perfection in life
19:26because of skating or
19:29>> did that maybe draw you towards skating?
19:31>> I think it was the other way around. I
19:33was very I was a really big
19:34perfectionist. I always wanted
19:36>> things to go the way I wanted them. I
19:38always wanted control, you know?
19:41>> It's like
19:42>> I do get that. is something that I think
19:45a lot of people want is to be able to
19:47control something. But it's kind of
19:50learning the fact that, you know, it's
19:52okay. Life doesn't have to be all
19:54perfect. You don't have to be all
19:55perfect. That's kind of the thing that
19:57was hard for me to realize. But with
19:59skating, it definitely helped me
20:01understand that perspective. And with
20:04just, you know, like again, just with
20:06hours and hours of practice, you know,
20:07expecting that, oh, I did this right, I
20:09did this right, I should land a jump.
20:11But sometimes I wouldn't land the jump
20:13and I wouldn't understand why. And it
20:15kind of helped me, you know, understand
20:16that, you know, it's not perfect all the
20:19time. You just have to be able to use
20:21what you can to your advantage.
20:23>> Yeah. Kind of layers of it. That's so
20:25interesting that skating has actually
20:26taught you
20:28that like that there's layers to
20:29perfection. I don't know. Interesting.
20:32Um
20:33>> I think sports teach a lot. Honestly,
20:35sports teach a lot about
20:37>> We're going to get into that.
20:39>> Sure.
20:41We're totally We are I'm like Well, if I
20:43actually just let you keep talking, then
20:45you might just cover the whole podcast
20:47yourself.
20:48>> Sorry.
20:49>> No, it's so good. No, you didn't. You
20:52didn't. First of all, you didn't talk
20:53too much, and second of all, it's so
20:55good. I I love talking to you. So, um,
20:58so your parents were both elite skaters,
21:01and in my family, skiing was kind of
21:03like um like a language for us, like
21:06another way to connect. So, was skating
21:09like that for you and your family or do
21:11you remember like do you remember
21:13choosing skating or was it always just a
21:15part of life?
21:17>> Well, let's let's start off with the
21:20simple fact that my parents did not want
21:22me to skate because they went through
21:24all these hours, all the effort, all the
21:27time. You know, they knew how much how
21:30much it was to sacrifice and to dedicate
21:33to this. So they were like, "We don't
21:35want him to do it because not only I'm
21:38going to be in the same position they
21:40were, but now that they're also coaches,
21:43they would have to, you know, use their
21:45coaching side to kind of help me through
21:46that." And it would have been too much
21:49stress and effort to them. But
21:51ironically, me and my sister are
21:54skaters, so I guess it is, you could
21:57say, like kind of a universal language.
21:59But as I mentioned earlier, skating has
22:02taught me a lot of life lessons. And I
22:04think that without skating, I would not
22:06be, you know, mentally the way I am,
22:08physically the way I am, like all of
22:10these different things. It has taught me
22:12a lot. But back to kind of your first
22:14few questions, I didn't really want to
22:17skate much. It was kind of like I was at
22:19the rink all the time because my parents
22:21were coaching other skaters and I would
22:23just, you know, wait off the ice, you
22:24know, play soccer for a little bit. By
22:27the way, that was actually one of the
22:29hobbies that I might have done if I
22:31wasn't a skater.
22:32>> So, in terms of
22:34>> Yeah,
22:35>> that's sick. I could totally see it.
22:38>> It was just about I was always at the
22:40rink again playing soccer with the
22:42little kids and waiting for my parents
22:43to finish lessons. At some point, I was
22:45like, you know, I want to give skating a
22:48try. You know, let's see if I can go on
22:49the ice. And they put me on the ice for
22:51a few times. It was just kind of like
22:54those on andoff things. You know, my
22:55parents didn't really expect much. They
22:57was like, "Oh, he just loves to skate.
22:59You know, we'll let him." But then, you
23:01know, started noticing the progress is
23:03getting quicker and quicker and quicker
23:05and they started realizing I had a lot
23:08more potential. And they were like,
23:10"Okay." They sat me down. They're like,
23:13"You have to choose. Do you want to keep
23:15skating or do you want to find something
23:17else?" And I was like, "I want to
23:19skate." Like, I didn't know what else to
23:22say at that point. So
23:24>> like I don't really know what I'm
23:25getting into, but I do enjoy it.
23:28>> So I was like, "Okay, I'm just going to
23:30take the gamble and go for it." At at
23:32that time also I was doing gymnastics as
23:34well. So I really had to choose if I was
23:38going to do just skating or, you know,
23:40try another hobby. So
23:42>> that's kind of what led everything to
23:44this point. And I've learned so much.
23:47Like that was kind of crazy that that
23:50one decision for me, you know, allegedly
23:53wanting to skate has gotten me to this
23:57crazy point of, you know, the amount of
23:59success I've had in my career and the
24:01amount of future I actually see in
24:02myself is I never thought I'd have this
24:05without this whole experience.
24:08>> Yeah, that's amazing.
24:11And in Yeah,
24:13I think I want to put Blaze. I want to I
24:15want to jump and flip with blades on my
24:17feet. I think I want to try that and
24:19then now you're here with some things
24:22that happened in between. So, people ask
24:25me a lot about the moment that I knew I
24:28wanted to pursue ski racing and I can
24:31never really pinpoint a moment. I just
24:33always remember wanting this. Um, you
24:36kind of talked about this already just
24:37now, but do you remember a moment when
24:40skating shifted from something that you
24:42just kind of loved or you enjoyed to
24:44something that you really wanted to
24:46seriously pursue? Like when did those
24:48dreams
24:49when did those dreams start shifting
24:51towards like making a career out of
24:53this?
24:55>> Yeah. I mean of I remember this exact
24:58moment. I was kind of at a competition
25:01in Salt Lake. This was like there's a
25:04level. You have different levels in
25:06skating. Right now it's senior then a
25:09few more down. You have junior, novice,
25:12intermediate, juvenile. So I was novice
25:15level at this point and this was, you
25:18know, I think it was like a qualifier
25:20for like the national national
25:22championships at that level. So I was
25:24just skating and I was working on this
25:27element. It's called a triple axle for
25:30being at like 13 years old. Mhm.
25:32>> And
25:33>> is that early to be doing that?
25:37>> A little bit.
25:38>> I feel like that's pretty early. Is that
25:40That's okay. Anyway, sorry. Go ahead.
25:43>> You're good.
25:43>> Feels early.
25:44>> So,
25:45>> yeah, just going to the competition and
25:47I was really struggling on that element,
25:49but
25:49>> you know, I was really determined to get
25:51it. But I came to I got to Utah. We had
25:55like a first, it's called like an
25:56official practice, which is like kind of
25:58like the practices at the competition at
26:00the competition rink. You know, it's
26:02only around 45 minutes just to get a
26:04feel for the ice and get prepared the
26:06last few days before you compete. And I
26:09just remember that day felt like I felt
26:12different. Like
26:14>> I don't know what it was, but the first
26:16thing I did when I got on the ice, I was
26:18like getting ready, getting warmed up,
26:20and I felt like
26:22whoa whoa. I feel like I feel like
26:26something is something's going to
26:27happen. Like I kind of just manifested
26:29it into reality. I was like today
26:32something's happening. I didn't know
26:33what I was like oh whether it would be a
26:35bad day or a good day or you know
26:37something was going to happen. I didn't
26:39know what it was. I just felt like I
26:41just felt different. So practice goes
26:43by. I'm doing my casual warm-ups and
26:46going into you know warming up the
26:48routine that I'm going to do. And you
26:50know, I finished the practice with a few
26:51minutes to spare. And I'm like, you
26:53know, I might as well try, you know, try
26:56a few attempts for that jump because,
26:59you know, why not? I still have some
27:01time and I want to get it. So, you know,
27:03who knows? I might progress faster. The
27:05first try I do, I land it effortlessly.
27:09And I'm like,
27:10>> oh my gosh,
27:11>> I'm standing there like, what just
27:14happened? I was never close to it back
27:17training at home. I was like, you know,
27:20you have like different rotations of how
27:21much you actually rotate. So, you know,
27:24triple axle is three and a half
27:25rotations, but the closest I've ever
27:27gone was three rotations. So, it's like,
27:30where did that half show up? You know,
27:32like it just kind of came out of nowhere
27:34and I landed it and I look back at my
27:36dad standing at the board. He's like
27:38like looking at me like, "What?" Okay.
27:42>> Yeah. And I just like I just got so
27:46happy. I was like jumping up on the ice
27:48like just throwing hands in the air. I
27:51don't know what I was doing but
27:52>> like pre-competition. That's so
27:55>> pre competition. Yeah.
27:57>> Okay. Yeah, that's a pretty epic moment.
28:00>> That moment there kind of started what
28:04made me think of, you know,
28:06even though I enjoy the sport, I see a
28:10lot of big things coming and I want to
28:12indulge deeper into skating. So that
28:14moment right there kind of switched my
28:16brain to thinking, you know, let's do
28:19this more professionally.
28:21>> Huh. That's so cool. And like to think
28:23that it was a moment before it was it
28:25wasn't even really in a I mean, it was
28:27in a competition kind of, but it was
28:28like, you know, on race day, we're often
28:32thinking like, okay, you know, you you
28:35dance with the one you brung. You like
28:37did your training. Now on race day,
28:38you're not trying to change things.
28:40You're not trying to learn things.
28:41You're not trying to fix things. and
28:42you're not really trying to you're just
28:43trying to like finetune just get the
28:46little bit of repetition so you do it
28:47right in the competition and the fact
28:50that it was actually at a competition
28:53where you were like willing to put
28:55yourself out there and give give this
28:58skill a try or this element that's super
29:01cool and I think for kids out there to
29:04see like
29:05especially as you're growing up and
29:07you're building the fundamentals it's so
29:09important to take every single day to
29:11practice and try things and like put
29:13yourself out there. Super cool,
29:15>> right? I think it's really helpful
29:17because you take a lot of risks and you,
29:19you know, realize the potential you have
29:20or you see things that you haven't seen
29:23before. I mean, I always when I go to
29:25competitions, I feel like a different
29:26person. I feel like the adrenaline makes
29:29me a different person. The energy makes
29:30me a different person. Like everything
29:32just kind of elevates me more. So, I
29:34always use that to advantage. Like, hey,
29:36you know, if there's not too much to
29:38risk, you know, why not try some new
29:40things? Yeah. So, that kind of leads us
29:43well into this ne next topic. People
29:45really describe you as naturally
29:47talented. Um, that's obviously a
29:49compliment, right? But I was wondering
29:51if that ever frustrates you because of
29:53how much work actually lies behind that.
29:58>> You know, I'll be honest, it's like
30:0050/50. It's kind of like you said, you
30:02know, it I can take it as a compliment,
30:04but also it kind of just shows like
30:08>> it's almost like they tell you that you
30:11didn't really work for this.
30:13>> And I look at that like, are you
30:15kidding? I spent like 20 years of my
30:18life living and, you know, getting to
30:21the point where I am now for you to tell
30:22me, you know, yeah, you're just
30:24naturally gifted. Like,
30:26>> yeah,
30:26>> that that's that's an insult and a
30:28compliment at the same time. So it just
30:30depends on the day on how I take it in.
30:33But of course like you know in the back
30:35of my head I know that I spent all those
30:37days, all those weeks, hours, years to
30:41just perfecting my craft, being able to
30:43step on a stage and be able to perform
30:45with nerves in front of an audience, in
30:48front of judges. Like all of these
30:50things I had to learn from a younger,
30:52you know, from a young age. And it
30:54wasn't really just gifted to me. Like
30:56maybe, you know, physically and my
30:59athletic ability might have been there,
31:01but everything else still plays a big
31:04factor in skating. Like I would say that
31:06skating is more mentally
31:10challenging than physically because of
31:12course you can have the strength to, you
31:14know, land a jump. Like I can guarantee
31:17you there's a lot of skaters around the
31:19world who have the strength to, you
31:21know, land a quad axle, which we'll
31:23probably talk about in a later segment
31:24if you want.
31:26>> Indeed.
31:27>> But it's like one of those things where
31:30physically we can all be on the same
31:32level, but it's the mentality that
31:34really changes how you compete, how you
31:37perform, and how you train. So, it's one
31:39of those things that you don't really
31:41just gain. You just have to learn it by
31:44competing, by experiencing, by training.
31:46>> That's the only way you can get
31:48comfortable with this is by doing it
31:50multiple times over and over and over
31:52and over.
31:53>> Getting in the reps, a lot of reps. And
31:55it's got to be even more true for
31:58skating than a lot of other sports that
32:01nobody's like athletically gifted and
32:04then just goes and picks up a pair of
32:06skates and can like do a flip or a quad.
32:09like you know you just you need it's
32:12just so clear how many hours of practice
32:14you need.
32:16>> So anyway it's
32:17>> right because
32:18>> goes without saying that you've done
32:20wonderfully.
32:21>> Yeah. It's not only about just learning
32:23the skills. It's also about polishing
32:25them making them into something
32:27effortless and then using all of that to
32:30make it into one huge routine. So
32:33there's like different steps to
32:35everything. And I think people confuse
32:37it so much because even if it looks
32:39easy, it's it's not. It's not.
32:42>> Yeah. And it's all planned. I can't get
32:45over that. I mean, we're going to we're
32:46going to get more into this, but like
32:48the fact that you have a full program
32:51and it's all planned and choreographed
32:53and it when we're I it just looks like
32:55you're just inter like interpretive
32:57dancing kind of
32:58>> because it looks that free and
33:00effortless and it's just so
33:03>> Yeah. Sometimes I add my little spin
33:05into it. Sometimes I change up the
33:07choreography, but most of the time it's
33:10always a planned set of, you know,
33:11elements, jumps, and spins and
33:14choreography that usually you can't go
33:16around.
33:18>> It's amazing. Um, all right, let's get
33:22into some of the actually some of the
33:24deep stuff here. So, talent.
33:28>> Yeah, let's do it. talent gets attention
33:31as we both know and then um or maybe
33:35success gets attention and then
33:37expectations kind of arrive that's the
33:39next thing and that can I feel that that
33:42can change the experience over time for
33:44an athlete so when the world watches you
33:48we see confidence almost regardless of
33:51the scenario what does pressure actually
33:55feel like for you
33:58>> you know I I think the best way to
34:00describe it is it's like feeling like
34:04something is off. That's the one thing
34:07that pressure can sometimes give you.
34:10Like for example, you'll feel good that
34:11day. You'll say, "Oh, I feel great. I
34:13had a good night's sleep." You know, you
34:15go into the practice, you feel good, but
34:18you know, you have a competition later
34:20that day and you realize that some
34:22something is off. Like something doesn't
34:24feel 100% the way it should be. And I
34:28think it's that doubt or you know you
34:30being nervous in the back of your mind
34:32like you know what if what if this what
34:35if that trying to you know kind of come
34:37up with situations or things that might
34:40happen and you can't stop yourself
34:42because that's kind of like the natural
34:44human way of thinking
34:45>> and the it's just like it's a very
34:48touchy subject because you know pressure
34:51really can make or break a person and
34:53I've experienced it throughout my whole
34:56career.
34:57You know, every single competition I've
34:59had, it's always the same feeling before
35:01I got on the ice. It's always you feel
35:03those nerves. You feel confident, but
35:05you're not quite sure. You feel like you
35:07got this, but you have a little doubt in
35:09your mind that maybe I don't. And it's
35:11very hard to I was actually asked this
35:14question at a an event. They were saying
35:17like, "How do you know when you're
35:19ready?" And I feel like, you know,
35:22someone answered very cleverly said that
35:25when you get nerves, that's how you know
35:27you're ready because it's almost like a
35:29sign that like, you know, for example,
35:32if you didn't really care about this,
35:33you didn't you wouldn't really get
35:35nervous at all. It probably means you
35:36have not prepared for this. But when you
35:39are prepared all your life, you know,
35:41the hours you train, you know, getting
35:43yourself into the right mental zone, you
35:45know, physical, you know, strength or
35:48all of those things, and you say like,
35:50okay, now I feel nervous. But I think
35:52that's actually a sign that you are
35:54prepared because you're like, I know
35:56what to expect. I know what's to come.
35:58Yes, I'm nervous, but that's part of the
36:01process.
36:03>> So, do you feel like like people say
36:05that pressure is a privilege? Um, do you
36:08agree with that or do you think it's
36:09just something that we say to make
36:11pressure sound or feel more manageable?
36:14>> I think it's how to make it feel more
36:17manageable. I think of course
36:19>> it makes sense with the logic that they
36:21say that pressure is a privilege because
36:24I think not everyone can be at a point
36:26where they have to be pressured if that
36:28makes sense.
36:29>> But it's also again it's kind of like
36:32>> they can be good or bad at the same
36:34time. like pressure can be like peer
36:38pressure for example that's kind of like
36:40you know noticed as like a bad thing or
36:41a negative thing but
36:43>> you know there's different ways you can
36:44look at this and I could probably spend
36:47hours
36:48>> talking about some hypothetical you know
36:50theories about why
36:52>> pressure can be positive or negative
36:54that's kind of who I am as a person but
36:57it's just I've noticed that in the
36:59really important times that pressure has
37:02helped me greatly and it's almost the
37:05times where I'm not really pressured
37:09that haven't really let me, you know,
37:12perform or, you know, achieve what I
37:14truly want.
37:15>> Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I
37:17definitely get that there's like a
37:18little bit of a some level of stress
37:21that's needed to to really like see and
37:25evaluate a situation clearly. It's like
37:28tells your body, all right, time to go
37:30into hyperdrive. you need to be here for
37:32this and like you you care.
37:35>> I definitely see that. Um so let's talk
37:37about axles. Um
37:42quads specifically. Um I saw in one of
37:45your interviews that you used quad god
37:48as a social media handle after landing
37:52maybe your first quad
37:54>> and then that was kind of before the
37:55rest of the world adopted this nickname
37:58for you. Is that right? Yes, that is
38:00very true. I was a very dumb kid back
38:03then.
38:04>> No, it's not dumb. It's so cool.
38:06>> It's It's not cool. It was literally
38:08like there were other skaters who
38:11landed, you know, more quad types than
38:13me. And this was like my very first
38:15quad. And before that, I was named a
38:18lutz boy or lutz god. And that was kind
38:21of because the luts jump was, you know,
38:23my best and favorite jump to do. So it
38:26was like, you know, I landed my first
38:27quad and I was like, I should probably
38:29change my name to, you know, something
38:31with quad and I landed my first quad.
38:33Oh, quad god. Let's do it. Okay, it
38:35doesn't work because it's taken. Let's
38:37put a zero into it. You know, that's
38:39where the whole username originated. And
38:42you know, it was kind of dumb at the
38:44point, but realizing that people started
38:47catching on and saying, why are you
38:49calling yourself the quad god? You
38:50haven't even landed, you know, two
38:52different kinds of quads. that kind of
38:55sparked me to try to land, you know, as
38:59many quads as I can. And, you know,
39:01>> you sort of manifested it.
39:04>> I did.
39:04>> I manifest a lot of things and sometimes
39:07it doesn't work out and sometimes it
39:09does. Who knows? But that was kind of
39:11the whole reason, you know, this whole
39:13quad god journey even happened. That's
39:16how I started, you know,
39:18>> how I've landed every single quad in one
39:20program. how I've landed, you know, the
39:22first to land the Quad Axon competition.
39:25All of those things have started from
39:26that moment there. It just it kind of
39:29blows my mind to think that just me
39:31changing my username really got me to
39:34this point.
39:35>> Yeah. Well, you talk you've already
39:38talked a lot about like how you see this
39:40future for yourself, how you see all
39:42these possibilities, and I feel like
39:44that's just an example of like seeing
39:47the possibilities in the future and like
39:49deciding a direction you want to go. Um,
39:52once you did land
39:56like more variations of the quad and you
39:59could really do that consistently,
40:01did you notice a point where that
40:03changed from being something that was
40:06really extraordinary to something that
40:09people actually just started expecting
40:11from you?
40:13Yeah, I think there was definitely an a
40:16noticeable change, you know, especially
40:18last few years before leading up to the
40:20Olympics where, you know, it wasn't more
40:22like, wow, this guy's doing so many
40:24quads. I was like, oh, this is his
40:26usual, you know, he's going to go, you
40:29know, do so many quads again and win
40:31every competition. Like, that was the
40:33whole expectation.
40:34>> I kind of felt bad because
40:37>> at that time, you know, after hearing
40:39all this, I always tried to level up.
40:41That's that's something in my
40:42personality. I like to level up as much
40:44as I can. I like to one up myself. I
40:46like to give myself a challenge to work
40:48towards. And it was almost like they
40:51were giving me these challenges of, you
40:52know, how can I impress them more? How
40:54can I impress them more? And I think
40:56that also played a very big role and you
40:58know kind of affected me a lot. There
41:01would be times where I felt burnt out
41:02because I was just trying to kind of you
41:06know be a people pleaser and you know
41:08those moments you know they don't really
41:11feel that good honestly but
41:13>> you know you learn a lot from
41:14experiences. I've learned a lot from
41:16doing those things. And
41:18>> you know, it kind of went from, as you
41:21said, going to, "Wow, this guy is so
41:23talented. This is so cool. We can do so
41:25many jumps." To,
41:26>> yeah, this let's make this the new norm.
41:29Not just for me, but just for everyone.
41:31Like, this is the expectations. This is
41:33the standards, you know.
41:35>> You know, they always give the
41:36standards, you know. Even they'd make
41:38posts about like come see Ilia land is
41:40quadak competition. Even though
41:42>> like you don't know.
41:44Yeah. like no. So it just like kind of
41:48annoyed me at one point where
41:50>> I almost felt used. I almost felt like I
41:53was being used to, you know, give people
41:55standards that weren't really there. And
41:57then
41:58>> yeah,
41:58>> when it didn't happen,
42:00>> they just like,
42:02>> you know, whatever.
42:03>> Yeah. They like blame you kind of or
42:05like
42:06>> walk away like disappointed. You're
42:08like, I don't owe you anything. I don't
42:10owe you that. I'm like,
42:12>> good lord. Um yeah, I mean that kind of
42:16leads into the my next thought which is
42:19um sort of how to turn down those
42:21voices. I remember experiencing a shift
42:24in the first few years of my World Cup
42:27career. Um it was like year I think my
42:29third season and suddenly winning really
42:32wasn't enough and
42:34I had to win by like a greater margin.
42:37instead of winning by 510 of a second,
42:40it was only good enough if I won by a
42:42second and a half. And that was probably
42:45my first experience with like
42:48performance anxiety and really feeling
42:50like my nerves were getting out of
42:52control. And you mentioned feeling like
42:54almost burnout or like this
42:56peopleleasing. You know, the voices
42:58outside of your own are just so loud.
43:01And trying to trying to satisfy those
43:03things, thinking if I just do one more
43:05thing, one more race, one more
43:06competition better or more outstanding,
43:09then they'll be satisfied and they'll
43:11stop talking, but then they only talk
43:13more. You're setting the standard,
43:15right? So, um, how have you practiced
43:19turning up your own voice and turning
43:21down the voice, um, well, turning up
43:23your own voice and the voices of people
43:24you trust and then turning down all the
43:28voices of everyone else.
43:30>> You know, I've in the simplest way to
43:33say it, I just it's to stop caring.
43:37Like,
43:38>> yeah,
43:38>> you know, I found a point where, you
43:41know, it was getting too much and we'll
43:43probably talk about this later. It kind
43:44of led to the Olympics and all of those
43:47happening. And after those Olympics, I
43:49said, "Something has to change. I can't
43:51keep doing this. If I try to keep living
43:54this career for the rest, I'm not going
43:56to make it for another few years." So, I
43:59was like, "Okay, something has to
44:00change." Whether it be how I train,
44:02mindset, you know, environment, all of
44:05those things had to change. So, the
44:06first thing I said, I was like, "Okay, I
44:09have to skate for myself because I have
44:12to remember that I'm actually the one
44:14who's skating. I'm actually the one
44:15who's on the ice competing and
44:17performing for the crowd. So, if I'm not
44:19there, then people don't get to see me.
44:21So, I have to perform if I actually want
44:23to perform and do what I think I should
44:27be doing."
44:28>> So, that was the first thing I had to
44:29do. Another thing was, you know, get a
44:32more healthy environment. I think it was
44:34really tough just with how situations
44:37were I'm not going to name any names but
44:40things have just you know every honestly
44:42I can sit here again for hours saying
44:45everything that happened leading up to
44:47the Olympics you know kind of threw me
44:48off because as you kind of said you were
44:51like you know trying to one up one more
44:54one more one more you know all of those
44:55little things can add up to be something
44:57very big and
44:59>> you know you don't want to be in a
45:00position where
45:02>> you kind of have to feel all of that. Of
45:04course, you know, the media doesn't
45:05really help you. They, you know, try to
45:07put a camera in your face every, you
45:10know, 5 seconds. And I'm like standing
45:12there like, "Okay, let me prepare." And
45:13the guy's just like in the like, you
45:15know, right there like in your face. And
45:17I'm like, "Hey." Like,
45:19>> you know, sometimes I I have intrusive
45:21thoughts. I'm like, "Let me just smack
45:24the camera out of your hands, please."
45:26And I would destroy your $70,000
45:30camera right now.
45:30>> I know. Yeah. I was like,
45:32>> oops, I tripped.
45:33>> Oops. I was getting ready for the
45:36competition. I did like a choreography
45:38arm movement. I accidentally smacked the
45:40camera. Sorry. You know, like
45:42>> it's kind of those moments that like
45:45>> I look back and I'm like, you know, what
45:48if I just did that, you know? Like, but
45:50it's also you have to keep your own
45:52peace when you're at these, you know,
45:55competitions, at these events, because
45:57as I said, it
45:58>> it gets to you a lot. Like I'm even
46:00having a hard time explaining how it
46:02feels because it's sometimes it's so
46:05unexplainable. You can't really
46:07understand what happens until you've had
46:10time to process it. Until you've had,
46:12you know, maybe advice from a therapist
46:14or someone you're closely to to
46:17understand how it looked from their
46:19perspective and you're like, "Oh,
46:20>> that's how it felt or that's how it
46:23looked." Like, it's very hard to
46:25explain. And
46:25>> words don't do it justice.
46:28>> No, they don't.
46:29Yeah. No, but you're doing a good job.
46:31Um, and this is the these are the
46:34conversations that I find so intriguing
46:37because I have had similar experiences.
46:40Um,
46:41and you know, you talk about the camera
46:44being there and I think about my own my
46:46own scenario where when the camera's too
46:49close, if I feel like I'm in sort of a
46:52not really the right state of mind, I'll
46:55be thinking like alter ego, out of body
46:58experience. I'll be thinking how I look
47:00from the camera's perspective if I look
47:03focused enough or happy enough rather
47:06than just being focused. I'll be like
47:08put on a focus face so that the camera
47:11thinks I'm focused and that sometimes
47:14for me is a trigger like girl walk away.
47:17Like you're not you're trying to please
47:20them. Yeah. You're like trying to please
47:22them. You're not in your own space.
47:24You're not getting ready for the
47:25competition. you're just trying to make
47:27make yourself look good for the
47:29audience, for the camera. And that was
47:32something that I had to learn to kind
47:34of, you know, turn off.
47:35>> You know, especially after the Olympics,
47:37I've learned that, okay, I have to turn
47:39this off. You know, I have to be the
47:41most genuine self I can be.
47:43>> You know, there's no more expectations
47:45for me. I have to stop thinking about
47:47all of these. I have to enjoy the sport
47:49I love,
47:50>> do what I want on my own terms if I want
47:53to, you know, level up my you know,
47:55let's say my physical abilities, you
47:57know, be able to do, you know, harder
47:59elements in a program. That should be on
48:01me. That should not be depending on what
48:04people want to see because again, this
48:06is my career. This should be my journey,
48:08my path. Everything that I do, I should
48:11be in charge of because I'm the main
48:13person that's going through all of this.
48:15And of course, you can have the people
48:16that are really close to you that will
48:18help you and support you,
48:20>> but for all the people that are just
48:21going to be an obstacle for you, I
48:24honestly say like if it doesn't benefit
48:27you, if it doesn't give you any value,
48:29then you don't need them.
48:32>> Yeah. Yeah. So true. One quick story
48:35before we keep going. I don't actually
48:38remember the first time that I was on
48:41skis, but apparently it went something
48:43like my mom or dad was at the top of our
48:45driveway and the other was at the bottom
48:48and it was like, "Okay, catch her." Um,
48:52and that's kind of been my entire career
48:54is like I've had people at the start and
48:56I've had people at the finish. I've had
48:58so so many supporters and people who
49:01have helped me get to where I've gotten
49:04to. Nobody gets here alone. And I think
49:08that's why I'm so proud to support the
49:10Share Winter Foundation because they
49:12help kids get on skis or on a snowboard.
49:16I got to ski with a bunch of girls from
49:19Elevate Her at Copper Mountain in the
49:21spring. And this day was amazing. I
49:23mean, there were tutus, there was soft
49:25spring snow, there was smiles and
49:28giggles and laughter and challenge.
49:32For me personally, what I got from this
49:34day was the inspiration from connection.
49:39I feel that there's something so special
49:42about these sports. Every kid should
49:46have the chance to
49:49know what it feels like to get out of
49:51your head and to try something that's
49:53really challenging and really, really
49:55rewarding. And they deserve people in
49:58their corner to help them get there. So
50:00if you want to learn more, check out
50:03sharewinterfoundation.org/mick
50:07gives.
50:15I do think that people often confuse
50:18mental toughness with never struggling.
50:21And we think of athletes, great
50:23athletes, as machines, inhuman. Um, you
50:26know, we talked about how effort
50:28effortless it looks when you skate. And
50:31I think that skating is so unique
50:34because it gives you this really unusual
50:37opportunity to express emotion and um,
50:41like creativity while you're competing.
50:44I was wondering how that creative
50:46element
50:48fits in for you. Like what does it mean
50:50to you to be able to express
50:52vulnerability and creativity on the ice?
50:55It's honestly
50:57it's something that has helped me, you
51:00know, give me a stronger journey. I
51:04don't know if that's the right words to
51:05put it in, but it's almost like it gives
51:08me another option of, you know, I can be
51:11the most, you know, physically capable
51:14athlete, you know, just doing these
51:17crazy jumps, these crazy tricks, but I
51:19can also be an artist and a storyteller.
51:21And that's something that skating is
51:23really known for is you have these two
51:25different components whether it's you
51:27know technical abilities or you have the
51:30other side which is you know how can you
51:32tell a story how can you be artistic how
51:34can you be creative and I think that's
51:37the pleasure of you know different
51:39people have different you know strengths
51:41like someone is very physically gifted
51:44someone is very creative and I think all
51:47of those things together are what make
51:49the sport so beautiful and And it's
51:51combining the physicality with the
51:54musicality, the choreography, the
51:56creativity, everything just combined
51:58together just almost makes it look like
52:01this, you know, like a movie or like
52:04just like a crazy book cuz there's like
52:07those ups and downs and ins and outs,
52:10everything you can name it. It's just
52:12>> also just helped me be learn again learn
52:16so many life lessons just
52:19>> from all these things. being more
52:20open-minded, being creative, you know,
52:23don't
52:24>> trying not to think about outsiders or
52:26things that are going to help affect me
52:29negatively.
52:30>> It's just learning and learning and
52:32learning. And, you know, of course, with
52:34more the years go, I grow more as a
52:36skater, as an artist, and as a person.
52:40>> Yeah. Do you do you feel vulnerable when
52:43you're on the ice or do you feel like
52:45powerful or
52:48in charge? Like is there one kind of
52:51description?
52:51>> I feel I feel pretty powerful when I'm
52:54on the ice. I think that's the best way
52:55that represents me as a person, but I do
52:58feel vulnerable at times, especially
53:00when, you know, the music is something
53:03specific that I have to portray. Like
53:05I'll give teasers to this year's
53:07performance. I know that
53:10It's it's it's emotional.
53:13>> Oh boy.
53:13>> I hope so. It's Yeah.
53:14>> Oh
53:16>> Yeah. It's It's deep. It's like
53:19>> Oh boy. Well, wouldn't be the first
53:20time, but sounds like you're leveling up
53:23again.
53:24>> Yeah. It's Sometimes being vulnerable is
53:27going to help you with how you perform
53:29yourself on the ice because again, it's
53:31almost like you can't really play a
53:34different character. Like you can't
53:36really pretend to be someone else, but
53:38>> yeah,
53:39>> you can imagine yourself being someone
53:41else and it's like how you would
53:44actually, you know, act or perform or be
53:48if you were this other person. So, it's
53:50not necessarily about faking who you
53:52are. It's about
53:54>> building yourself an imagination where
53:57you are truly this other person.
53:59>> Yeah, that's so interesting.
54:02Oh my gosh, I have shippers.
54:06Okay, so we like you've kind of touched
54:08on this, but I guess more specifically
54:10like what what is one thing about
54:13skating that just gives you so much joy?
54:17>> Freedom. There is just that's the
54:21simplest word to say it. It's really you
54:23get so much freedom of how can you
54:26express yourself, how you can challenge
54:28yourself. like I can, you know, think of
54:30so many ways to just keep, you know,
54:34leveling up in my own terms and my
54:37skills and how I can be as a person.
54:40Every one of those things, you're able
54:41to express yourself freely with what
54:43music you choose, you know, what
54:45choreography you do, what jumps you can
54:47do, you know, anything you can do in the
54:49sport. It's so free and so expressive.
54:52And I think that's one of the best
54:55things about figure skating is sometimes
54:57it feels like, you know, a distress.
55:00It's almost like, you know, maybe you're
55:02going through outlet. Maybe you're going
55:05through, you know, a tough life and you
55:07have a lot of things happening. It's
55:08almost like you can go on the ice when
55:10you're performing. Yes, there's going to
55:12be nerves, but you can feel the most
55:14free if you're able to find that within
55:17you.
55:18>> Yeah. Have you ever
55:21have you ever lost that feeling of
55:24freedom?
55:25>> There has been a time where again kind
55:29of what we talked about earlier. It was
55:31not
55:32>> really skating for freedom. It was
55:33skating for you know other people. It
55:36was being you know people pleaser. I
55:37think Olympics was one of those
55:40>> you know times as well where I just
55:43>> I had no experience to expect what the
55:46Olympics were going to be about.
55:47Everyone would tell me, you know, the
55:49Olympics are this huge competition. And
55:52you know, I my mindset going into it was
55:54to think of it like any other
55:56competition,
55:58>> but I didn't think that was the right
56:00mindset. I didn't think that was right
56:02because it it's not like any other
56:04competition. It's like
56:06>> and not for the way that
56:07>> 10 times as bigger. It's not only about,
56:11you know, how much people are going to
56:12be looking. It's just the environment
56:15you're put in is crazy. like I went they
56:18sent me you know a few weeks before I
56:20even competed where usually for
56:22competitions I'll go like 2 or 3 days
56:24before it's like not not the same vibe
56:27then of course you have you know all the
56:30other things that they're going to do
56:32like the amount of interviews I had to
56:35do I had to after every practice I had
56:37to go you know to the media place and I
56:40had to do so many interviews where some
56:43days I didn't want to do any interviews
56:45and the One thing that I did not like
56:48about skating that day was the fact that
56:51you look at all these other sports, F1,
56:54golf, tennis,
56:55>> they can just walk by the interviews
56:58that they don't want to take
57:00>> for skaters
57:02>> since we're not big enough. We have to
57:05sit there and talk to every single news
57:07station. And if we do try to walk by
57:09them, they're going to be like, "Hey,
57:11why are you walking by?" you know,
57:13>> yeah, you're not trying to grow the
57:14sport. Like,
57:16>> yeah.
57:16>> Yeah. That was one of the moments that
57:19that kind of pissed me off because I was
57:21like, I I want to believe that I'm at
57:24the same caliber as some of these, you
57:26know, F1 athletes with the amount of
57:28energy we put in, all of like mental
57:30toughness, like everything that goes
57:32into all these sports. I'm this I'm
57:35we're at that level, too. It's almost
57:36like we're being looked down on as a
57:38sport that you know, you know, all these
57:40other sports can do this, but you guys
57:42can't because you guys aren't big
57:43enough.
57:44>> Like that hurt me genuinely. And that
57:48that moment told me was like something
57:51needs to change whether it's how I
57:54approach the sport, whether the sport
57:56itself. And of course that was like the
57:58moment where you know I'm on a new
58:00journey of trying to you know change the
58:02sport change how I am you know really
58:05grow the sport to be you know the best
58:07it can be not only from a viewership
58:09standpoint but from a healthy
58:11environment and healthy workspace I
58:13would call it.
58:14>> Yeah. And like to make it okay just
58:17normalize the ability to say like if you
58:20don't do an interview it doesn't mean
58:22something. That's not a statement in of
58:24itself. There's just there's space to
58:26protect your mental and physical and
58:28emotional boundaries.
58:30>> Totally. Um I do think there are
58:32moments.
58:33>> No, go ahead.
58:34>> Yeah, like I was saying just it's very
58:37interesting that people in this sport
58:40think that they own you and I really
58:43felt that from a lot of people. And this
58:46is this is controversial, but it's just
58:49the fact that I've, you know, started
58:52learning to say no. And it's something
58:54that I think needs to be normalized in
58:56my sport a lot more because almost nine
58:59times out of 10 we don't have a choice
59:01to do anything else.
59:03>> And that's I think the biggest issue
59:05with the sport also is you know people
59:07retire young and they have no other
59:09choice but you know either they have to
59:11go
59:12>> you know learn some something in college
59:14to you know get a better future or you
59:17know they have to become a coach to
59:19barely sustain themselves. So, it's the
59:22fact that you don't have
59:24>> control over what's actually yours is,
59:27you know, something that I felt
59:30>> very like angry about. I I was, you
59:32know, that day of the free program, I
59:35was angry not at, you know, I spent the
59:38last four years of my life training for
59:39this to happen, but I was angry of the
59:42situations I was put in, you know,
59:44everything honestly that was not
59:46affecting the ice, especially like
59:49>> the on ice, you know, expectations, the
59:51pressure. It was everything outside of
59:53that that really just affected me, you
59:56know, the people around me, you know,
59:58the federation, all of these things
1:00:00together just
1:00:02like it was almost like a bubble closing
1:00:04in on me and I was like had no idea what
1:00:07to do and it like it just broke me and I
1:00:10was like I'm not letting this happen
1:00:12anymore. I'm done being this like
1:00:13puppet.
1:00:16>> I just see so
1:00:18so many powerful moments coming up for
1:00:21you. I it sucks that that is sort of the
1:00:28introductory experience to the Olympics,
1:00:31but I know having been to four, the only
1:00:35thing I'm certain of is that it's not
1:00:37the same as what we do in our normal
1:00:39competitions. And it's even sometimes
1:00:43within the rink or within the the
1:00:46course, those conditions may not be the
1:00:48same either, but everything that happens
1:00:50outside of it and trying to take control
1:00:53of that in an event that you can't
1:00:55really prepare for. If you do it every
1:00:56single day, then you learn how to say no
1:00:58easily. But when it's two weeks of your
1:01:01time every four years, you sort of lose
1:01:04the ability and the understanding of
1:01:06when and how to say no or set boundaries
1:01:09or or even to say yes when you want it
1:01:12when you when you want to talk to
1:01:14someone to control when that's going to
1:01:16happen. Um I feel like it's just really
1:01:19hard to prepare for some of those
1:01:20elements. And
1:01:22>> there are these kind of moments that
1:01:24test our understanding of and our love
1:01:27of sport. It's
1:01:30It's often the moments that we've
1:01:31dreamed of for our entire lives or at
1:01:34least four years of our career. Um, and
1:01:38there's certain competitions that just
1:01:39seem to be bigger than life and the
1:01:40Olympics are one of them. Um,
1:01:43it can feel very career defining. That's
1:01:46something I've struggled with is every
1:01:49Olympics seemed to define the next four
1:01:51to eight years of my career. Beijing was
1:01:55a very careerdefining feeling for me
1:02:00and
1:02:01I have learned over the years to sort of
1:02:04not set expectations going into the
1:02:07Olympics. I was wondering for you,
1:02:11what kind of expectations were you
1:02:13carrying going into it?
1:02:16I mean, you know, we can start with the
1:02:18obvious of, you know, going to every
1:02:21single competition before the Olympics
1:02:23and people already, you know,
1:02:25pre-placing the gold medal on me. Like,
1:02:27>> yeah,
1:02:28>> I I I was I am sick and tired of that. I
1:02:31am just so done with that because,
1:02:33>> you know, they expect me to just go out
1:02:36there and, you know, perform to their
1:02:38needs, but
1:02:39>> they think it's given.
1:02:40>> That doesn't they think it's given. It's
1:02:42not given. Like if it was given just
1:02:44email me the results with a gold medal
1:02:47in the package. Like if it's given then
1:02:50that's how it should look like you know
1:02:52it's like a guarantee but it's not
1:02:54guaranteed. Sport is never guaranteed.
1:02:57Anything can happen like we've seen it
1:02:59with like part of your careers you know
1:03:02at the Olympics for me like with every
1:03:04athlete has gone through sport and they
1:03:07know that nothing is guaranteed in sport
1:03:08and everything or in life in general not
1:03:11even sport. Nothing is guaranteed in
1:03:12life. And that's a life lesson that I've
1:03:15learned through these past few years,
1:03:17past from the Olympics, from all of
1:03:19these is that
1:03:20>> you have to appreciate what you have and
1:03:23realize that sometimes, you know, you
1:03:25don't have to dwell on everything. And
1:03:27again, you said that for you the
1:03:30Olympics felt like like almost like a
1:03:32life-changing moment or a
1:03:34career-defining moment, but in the end,
1:03:36it's we still have to think of it.
1:03:39>> It's just a moment. It's just a sport
1:03:41for me. It's just figure skating. Like,
1:03:43>> you know, whether I win a gold medal or
1:03:46not in my lifetime, it doesn't matter.
1:03:47I'm still going to live. It's not like
1:03:50I'm going to like choke and suffocate
1:03:51and die because I didn't win a medal.
1:03:54Like,
1:03:54>> I might cry about it for a week, but
1:03:56that's doesn't really change of the rest
1:03:59of my life. And that was kind of the
1:04:02hard moments of realizing that this is
1:04:06one not the end, but also it's just a
1:04:09moment in time. We're all living in a
1:04:10moment of time.
1:04:12>> I can go again for a few hours, you
1:04:13know, talking about moments in time and
1:04:16space and whatever. Yeah, I like doing
1:04:18those. I'm very like I have a lot of
1:04:20theories, a lot of hypotheticals, what
1:04:22ifs, you know, whatever. But it's just
1:04:26those different moments have taught me
1:04:28so much about my life. And just knowing
1:04:31that
1:04:33things will be different now is always
1:04:35kind of reliever that now I can do
1:04:37something different. Now I can try
1:04:39something else. I can turn away the
1:04:41expectations. I can turn off the
1:04:43pressure. I can do whatever I want. It's
1:04:47>> it's my life. It's my career. It's my
1:04:49journey. I should be able to have
1:04:51control of, you know, most of it. Of
1:04:54course, you don't have control of
1:04:55everything. There's always going to be
1:04:56things you're going to sacrifice for.
1:04:58And
1:04:59>> yeah,
1:05:00>> so the Olympics was one of those moments
1:05:02of, you know, it changed my perspective
1:05:05on life. It changed how I was as a
1:05:08person. Yes. And it really just helped
1:05:09me grow into
1:05:11>> this new person, which now it's, you
1:05:14know, I have a whole thing now going. I
1:05:16call it vision 2030. So this whole like
1:05:20it's it's going to be a project on like
1:05:22self-development, you know,
1:05:24>> you know, development outside of skating
1:05:26as well and all of these different
1:05:28things is really just,
1:05:30>> you know, what I can do before 2030.
1:05:32That doesn't have to be Olympic
1:05:34specific. It's just, you know, how I see
1:05:36myself in life in the next four years.
1:05:39>> That's really cool. Um, I love that. I
1:05:44I have learned over the years that the
1:05:46Olympics sort of present we talked we
1:05:49already said this like it presents
1:05:50different scenarios that you kind of
1:05:52can't you can't really prepare for the
1:05:55specific logistical challenges
1:05:58um you know different kind of you know
1:06:01layout within the venue things like that
1:06:04um I was wondering once you were there
1:06:07what what are what's something that
1:06:09actually felt very different from your
1:06:11normal competitions
1:06:12I'm sure there was a lot, but like what
1:06:14kind of variables, unexpected variables
1:06:17did you feel like you had to try to
1:06:18adapt to?
1:06:20>> Well, I mean the media was, you know, 10
1:06:25times as worse uh than any other
1:06:27competition. Of course, from our small
1:06:30sport, you know, there were barely
1:06:32anyone who really show up to the
1:06:34interviews and, you know, to talk before
1:06:37you compete or even get to the venues.
1:06:39But here I walk in, there's like, you
1:06:42know, many like three times as many
1:06:45people as there are at our normal
1:06:46competition. So that threw me off. That
1:06:48was the first thing that threw me off.
1:06:50>> Of course. I mean, I didn't even expect
1:06:52like the bus rides, you know, going
1:06:54from, you know, the venues to the, you
1:06:57know, the village, you know, having to
1:06:59go through the security checks. Those
1:07:01took a lot of time. and knowing that
1:07:03>> it was Italy, you know, they have their
1:07:05own
1:07:06>> complications of their own of not being
1:07:08on time and
1:07:09>> not really so organized as much, the
1:07:12traffic, all of those things. So those
1:07:14definitely affected me too
1:07:16>> and you know very strangely the ice
1:07:18conditions as well.
1:07:19>> I think that
1:07:20>> you know unfortunately
1:07:22>> we
1:07:24>> heard this from so many athletes on ice
1:07:26by the way like this was a very common
1:07:28thing. So, I just want like anybody
1:07:30listening to know like this is I'm I
1:07:33want to ask these questions for a
1:07:34reason. Um
1:07:37there was a lot about the there's a lot
1:07:39about the buildup in the logistics of
1:07:40the Olympics that are just different and
1:07:42so keep going. Anyway, the ice
1:07:44conditions
1:07:44>> Yeah, the ice conditions they were like
1:07:48again it was that feeling of you know
1:07:51it's decent but something is off like
1:07:53>> Yeah,
1:07:54>> there you know. And then not only that,
1:07:56but every day the ice felt different.
1:07:59That was something that does not really
1:08:02help us when we're preparing for the
1:08:03biggest competition of our lives. Like
1:08:05yes, sometimes we don't have control of
1:08:08what the ice feels like. I mean, of
1:08:10course, like even in competition, we
1:08:12have to skate after, you know, six or 12
1:08:15other skaters without being able to
1:08:17resurface the ice. So that's something
1:08:18that we have to get used to. But the
1:08:21fact that, you know, I've heard a lot of
1:08:23the skaters were complaining about the
1:08:24ice,
1:08:26>> you know, not even from figure skating,
1:08:28from speed skating, from, you know, all
1:08:30these skaters, they were saying that,
1:08:31you know, the ice is like it was weird
1:08:34conditions and, you know, some days they
1:08:36were, you know, it was wetter than
1:08:38others, others it was harder. It's it
1:08:40was like so unpredictable. So even for
1:08:43me when I'm trying to focus, when I'm
1:08:45trying to prepare myself,
1:08:48>> it was just like I had to
1:08:50>> use that to understand like okay this is
1:08:53not the same as yesterday. I have to
1:08:54approach this differently. Not to
1:08:56mention
1:08:58after the team event when we're standing
1:09:01on the podiums, for some reason they
1:09:03thought it was a genius idea to spray it
1:09:06with some like I don't know spray on
1:09:09sandpaper material which dulled
1:09:11everyone's blades and knowing that some
1:09:15of the skaters had to compete the next
1:09:17day that that threw me off a lot because
1:09:21you go to the Olympics this huge
1:09:24competition that everyone Everyone talks
1:09:26about this professional
1:09:29grade, you know, marketing tool or
1:09:32whatever you want to call it. And the
1:09:34fact that you go there and they make the
1:09:38podium out of like spray on sandpaper so
1:09:42that they don't slip.
1:09:43>> Like,
1:09:44>> are you people out of your mind? Like,
1:09:48>> oh my gosh,
1:09:50>> that was that was let's say we had
1:09:53levels for how much the Olympics pissed
1:09:56me off.
1:09:57>> That was level one. That was the that
1:09:59was the initiation right there. That
1:10:02thing set me off. I had to compete 2
1:10:05days after. I was lucky. I had a day in
1:10:07between to get my skates sharpened and,
1:10:10you know, get them tested. But still,
1:10:12>> you know, I think, again, I can go into
1:10:15whatifs. if this happened, something
1:10:16else would have happened. But
1:10:18>> that was the moment where I realized we
1:10:21are more like puppets than we're
1:10:23actually athletes because
1:10:25>> the fact like come on. Like it's not
1:10:28hard to find someone who's into skating
1:10:31or you know knows a little bit about
1:10:33skating and say put rubber on top of the
1:10:36podiums.
1:10:37>> Like
1:10:38>> yeah,
1:10:39>> those small things can really change.
1:10:42>> They make such a big difference. I know
1:10:44exactly what you're talking about.
1:10:45>> I I just I can't even I get riled up
1:10:49when I talk about or think about it too
1:10:51and in four different Olympic
1:10:52experiences and
1:10:55just knowing how many things just like
1:10:57that happen on a daily basis. But I do
1:11:00believe that knowing what you know now
1:11:03is going to help. It's going to make
1:11:07such a big difference moving forward to
1:11:09sort of know like
1:11:10>> you it's sort of like you expand Yeah.
1:11:12Yeah, the expectations are like you
1:11:14expand your world about what is possible
1:11:17to be different and then I think that's
1:11:20it's like just knowing how much you
1:11:23don't know about what you may be
1:11:25presented and that in and of itself is
1:11:27knowledge that can be really useful. Um
1:11:29so I truly believe that
1:11:32>> as frustrating as it is to think back on
1:11:34it.
1:11:36um you know when this that experience
1:11:39unfolded a little bit differently than
1:11:41how you might have envisioned and I do
1:11:43feel like kind of hearing what you said
1:11:46a lot of your own expectations or how
1:11:48you would envision the games was really
1:11:50determined by a lot of outside forces
1:11:54media things that were being said um but
1:11:57when it did unfold bit differently than
1:12:00how that vision was how did you process
1:12:04the first few
1:12:07It it was tough. It was really tough.
1:12:09Like I am typically one of those people
1:12:11who like to joke a lot about like bad
1:12:14things that happen. So there will be
1:12:17times where you know like I lost. Yeah.
1:12:20Like but
1:12:21>> yeah like kind of felt too soon. It it
1:12:25felt too like it's those moments that oh
1:12:28my god like I was like I sat in my room
1:12:31in my dorm all day just nothing like no
1:12:35phone scrolling like like no not
1:12:38responding to anyone like literally just
1:12:40in my own space
1:12:42>> like I was thinking for like 4 hours
1:12:45straight of what if I did this
1:12:47differently? What if I did this? What if
1:12:49I did this? like I was in like probably
1:12:53one of the worst moments of my life at
1:12:56those Olympics. Not even at that point,
1:12:58just the whole the whole experience
1:13:02>> like that that taught me a lot. But also
1:13:05just
1:13:08>> like it's all those like
1:13:11and then going out I was like after that
1:13:14day I needed something to get me back
1:13:17into the loop. I needed something to you
1:13:20know I went saw friends talked to people
1:13:22and
1:13:23>> you know had to process in the moment
1:13:25and
1:13:26>> like another weird fact is just like you
1:13:30know after the Olympics happened after I
1:13:32was sitting waiting for the results the
1:13:34results came you know I couldn't really
1:13:36believe it I went congratulated my
1:13:38friend who won the Olympics like I felt
1:13:41really proud of him because the fact
1:13:43that he was at the Olympics you know did
1:13:45it for his country of Kazakhstan I mean
1:13:48you No, that was the second gold medal
1:13:51of any sport in the last 32 years for
1:13:54Kazakhstan.
1:13:55>> So that was like that was honestly I
1:13:57felt so proud of him because when he
1:14:00needed to deliver he delivered at the
1:14:03you know pressure of the Olympics and it
1:14:05was very nice to see you know you know
1:14:07we're all in this together. It's kind of
1:14:09like a family thing that we have around
1:14:11all the skaters. It's almost like a
1:14:12community an environment where we all
1:14:14feel safe together. It's not really the
1:14:16skaters against each other. It's, you
1:14:19know, the skaters versus the federations
1:14:21or, you know, the governing bodies. So,
1:14:24>> we all of it in this together. But after
1:14:27congratulating him,
1:14:29>> going around and processing what
1:14:31happened, it's,
1:14:32>> you know, it was tough. and going to the
1:14:34different interviews, I had to keep
1:14:36myself calm and collected and, you know,
1:14:39try to be a little professional. Even
1:14:40though,
1:14:41>> you know, I was re I was ready to let
1:14:44all my intrusive thoughts out. I was
1:14:46ready to just
1:14:48>> BS every explode on everything that
1:14:52could have been better, everything that
1:14:54should have happened. Like
1:14:56>> I would have been unrecognizable. Like
1:14:59that would have been crazy. Moments
1:15:01after that, you know, there's a
1:15:03tradition with my family where my dad
1:15:06after I finish competing, he calls my
1:15:08mom to tell the news because my mom does
1:15:10not really like to travel with me at
1:15:12competitions. And you know, you you'd
1:15:14expect, you know, after the competition
1:15:16ends that they'd be, you know, videoing
1:15:19all the, you know, people who go on the
1:15:21podium, but there's like five cameras in
1:15:24front of my face after I'm trying to
1:15:26process what just happened and I'm
1:15:29trying to call my mom. Like, they want
1:15:31to know that.
1:15:33That was another moment where I was
1:15:35like, dude, I am ser I am I'm about to
1:15:39turn into an anime character and I'm
1:15:41about to like cause some destruction in
1:15:42this rink. Like
1:15:44>> I was I was
1:15:46>> like this requires some privacy.
1:15:48>> Yes. I needed some privacy to not only
1:15:51process but
1:15:52>> you know
1:15:53>> know how my mom was going to handle
1:15:55information, how we were going to handle
1:15:57this. Like I needed my own space. I
1:15:59needed my own privacy. So
1:16:01>> yeah,
1:16:02>> that was those are probably one of the
1:16:05hardest moments of my life. But of
1:16:07course,
1:16:08>> you learn so much from all these low
1:16:10moments. Like
1:16:11>> I always tell myself I
1:16:13>> I learn more from losing than I do
1:16:15actually winning
1:16:17>> and all of these moments have taught me
1:16:19different things in my life. So again,
1:16:21I'm not saying that it had to happen,
1:16:24but
1:16:26>> you know, I kind of knew that this was a
1:16:28possibility of this happening. And
1:16:30again, if it didn't happen, I don't
1:16:33think we'd be on this podcast talking
1:16:35right now.
1:16:36>> No, actually, probably not because you
1:16:40know the way that things go.
1:16:44See, look, you had moments after
1:16:49in interviews and you know when the
1:16:52cameras were all on you and like
1:16:55for the people watching I I' I've
1:16:58experienced this. I've been in it in
1:16:59Beijing, cameras are on me and how like
1:17:02how frustrated I was in that moment. But
1:17:04then four years later and I look back on
1:17:06the whole experience and then a lot of
1:17:08what people connect to is those moments.
1:17:11So, I have this like back and forth in
1:17:13my head where it's like
1:17:15that should be private, but then people
1:17:18actually see that and they connect to
1:17:20you as a human. And you had you had
1:17:22moments where you really let people see
1:17:24a vulnerable side of you. Um, you know,
1:17:27people know the quad god who can do
1:17:30things that nobody can do on ice, but we
1:17:33were all seeing the human behind that.
1:17:35And having gone through something
1:17:36similar, I found that really powerful to
1:17:39watch. particularly in your exhibition
1:17:42skate. I don't know how intentional it
1:17:44all was, if that was like a way to
1:17:46communicate to the world. Just like shut
1:17:49off the the messages and the input and
1:17:52the everything, the overwhelming all of
1:17:54this stuff, the cameras and everything,
1:17:55just like shut it off and like the way
1:17:58you portrayed that. Um, I know I speak
1:18:01for a lot of people saying how powerful
1:18:04that was. Um,
1:18:08those are moments that you handle that I
1:18:10do believe, people have told me this and
1:18:12I'm telling you like I do believe that's
1:18:15far more growth inspiring and powerful
1:18:18than a gold medal would have been. You
1:18:21know, a gold medal would have been
1:18:24for me. I can't I can't learn anything
1:18:27from that. Like, he's got nothing to
1:18:29give me. He's just on top of the world.
1:18:30He's powerful and he's and he's he's
1:18:33never struggled. So, I don't need to
1:18:35talk I don't want to talk to that on my
1:18:36podcast cuz I'm trying to learn from
1:18:39people that really really inspire me.
1:18:41>> And it's not just what you can do on the
1:18:43ice. It's how you sort of recover from
1:18:46those tough moments. So,
1:18:48>> yeah,
1:18:49>> it's so painful but really powerful for
1:18:54people watching though just the way that
1:18:56you are.
1:18:57>> Did it take how like how long did it
1:18:59take for you to kind of start looking
1:19:00forward again?
1:19:02took me,
1:19:04you know, it wasn't longer than I
1:19:06expected. Like after a few days, I was
1:19:09already watching the ladies event in the
1:19:11ring. And you know, it was it was really
1:19:13heartwarming just to, you know, you
1:19:16know, the one day I didn't check social
1:19:17media, check my phone at all. Like I was
1:19:20just doom scrolling on Tik Tok or
1:19:22YouTube. I don't remember what I was
1:19:24doing. But then the next day I kind of
1:19:26was like, you know, felt a little more
1:19:28open to, you know, receiving. And the
1:19:31amount of messages I got from different
1:19:33people, you know, different celebrities,
1:19:36all these people
1:19:38that that kind of like let the door open
1:19:41again. I was like, "Okay, I'm ready to
1:19:42step out now." This was
1:19:45>> Yes. You know, one of the hardest
1:19:46moments of my life, but the amount of
1:19:49support behind it was genuinely the most
1:19:52I've ever seen in my whole life. like
1:19:55>> the amount of people that followed me,
1:19:57supported me, were there to help me and
1:19:59wanted me to grow to do bigger and
1:20:01better things just open that and I was
1:20:04like okay
1:20:06I appreciate all this let's you know
1:20:08forget that happened let's enjoy the
1:20:10rest of the Olympics because I had the
1:20:11option of leaving that night to go back
1:20:14home that was one of the options that I
1:20:16was given that I could just go home like
1:20:20I would have seen my cats yes but you
1:20:22know I had to I had to think and I was
1:20:25like I'm here for the Olympic
1:20:27experience. You know, as much as it
1:20:30hurts, I I want to enjoy the rest of it.
1:20:32So, I made a decision to stay and you
1:20:35know, enjoy the moments, enjoy the other
1:20:38competitors, all of these different
1:20:40things. And, you know, of course, the
1:20:42closing ceremony that was so much fun.
1:20:44I, you know, felt like
1:20:47>> the Olympics in itself was, you know, as
1:20:51successful as it could have been. That
1:20:53was you know I felt like I have
1:20:55experienced the Olympics in its full
1:20:58>> you know whether that was all the good
1:20:59points all the bad points everything
1:21:01just together I was like okay this is
1:21:03what Olympic experience feels about I
1:21:06know what to expect now
1:21:08>> things will be different
1:21:08>> it's meant to be a journey
1:21:11unpredictable
1:21:13>> that's my nickname
1:21:15>> yep
1:21:18>> um
1:21:18>> so
1:21:20>> the longer that I've been and sport, the
1:21:23more I've realized that um my career can
1:21:27be a huge part of my own life without
1:21:30being my entire identity. And you've
1:21:32already mentioned this, like who you
1:21:34are,
1:21:36little traits that you have, like pieces
1:21:39of your identity that really are not
1:21:40tied to skating as all at all. Like if
1:21:43somebody did remove skating from your
1:21:45life tomorrow, who's who's Ilia?
1:21:50Honestly, just I want to say curious
1:21:53little boy who was always envisioned to
1:21:56you know challenge himself, be the
1:21:58perfectionist he always is and you know
1:22:01really just try to enjoy the experiences
1:22:04of life and you know just enjoying the
1:22:07process of going through just life you
1:22:10know that's the best way I can describe
1:22:11it is
1:22:13>> you know wanting to you know be curious
1:22:15about anything that happens to the world
1:22:18be curious of you know what's the what's
1:22:20there to come in the future what other
1:22:23things I can learn or develop or hobbies
1:22:26I can learn or achieve goals I want to
1:22:29achieve like many different things you
1:22:31know
1:22:32>> that's doesn't have to be with skating
1:22:34it's still the same you know Ilia that's
1:22:37trying to see the world
1:22:40>> yeah and you're starting this YouTube
1:22:42channel which so far has been really fun
1:22:44to watch I know is probably feeling at
1:22:46this moment like ah pressure
1:22:49procrastination
1:22:50Oh my gosh, why did I do this? But
1:22:54>> are you having fun with it?
1:22:55>> I am. I'm generally having fun with it.
1:22:58I think it's like a new side of me that
1:23:00people are seeing. And
1:23:01>> it's like kind of like you said, almost
1:23:04seeing the human in me as opposed to
1:23:06when people see me at competitions, this
1:23:08is, you know,
1:23:09>> this crazy, you know, powerful like
1:23:14>> guy.
1:23:15Quad god. Yeah. Like don't get me wrong,
1:23:18Quad Guide is still everywhere. I think
1:23:20that's like the brand in its own is like
1:23:23Quad Guard is supposed to be like
1:23:25chaotic, unpredictable, fun,
1:23:28interesting, curious, like all those
1:23:30things. But
1:23:31>> you know, I have a I have a second
1:23:32nickname that I like to go by now. It's
1:23:34like chaos god.
1:23:36>> Oh, I love that.
1:23:38>> That's that's a good that's good journey
1:23:40for you. Yes.
1:23:41>> Yeah. It's also, you know, ironically,
1:23:46it has helped me,
1:23:48>> you know, stop thinking about the
1:23:50expectations of being quad god. Like,
1:23:53it's helped me like, you know, try to
1:23:55find another way or, you know, be
1:23:58someone else to, you know, kind of have
1:24:00that change instead of trying to live up
1:24:02to this name. It's helped me, you know,
1:24:06>> differentiate just, you know, having
1:24:08maybe a different personality or being
1:24:10more open, you know, being more
1:24:12genuinely myself as opposed to
1:24:15>> this
1:24:17>> skating godly figure who just does quads
1:24:20on a daily basis.
1:24:22>> Yeah,
1:24:24it I mean it's important like the one of
1:24:27the things that I've learned over the
1:24:29years, it's funny cuz my career's gone
1:24:32in phases. like the first three years
1:24:34where I started to realize that there
1:24:35were outside expectations and um and it
1:24:39was you know because of my own
1:24:40performances that people were going to
1:24:42expect this and would not ac would not
1:24:44accept anything but winning and winning
1:24:47by a large margin and having to kind of
1:24:50reconcile like but what if I have a bad
1:24:53day or what if I'm changing something
1:24:54with my equipment or you know what if I
1:24:56don't win it does that make me less of a
1:24:59person whatever and just like living up
1:25:02to expectations that you create because
1:25:05of what you're able to do, which is such
1:25:07a beautiful thing. And maybe it is a
1:25:10privilege to be in that position, but
1:25:12it's challenging to navigate at the
1:25:14time. But then over the years, you
1:25:16realize, like you mentioned this, just
1:25:18kind of care less. It actually gets a
1:25:21lot easier to care less as you as you
1:25:23set more records and you as you do more
1:25:27skills and learn more things that other
1:25:29people maybe aren't able to do and
1:25:30you're like a rising tide lifts all
1:25:32ships. So, you're going to see other
1:25:33athletes be able to sort of accomplish
1:25:35these things too because they've been
1:25:37inspired by you. And over time, you
1:25:40realize like, wo, I actually just don't
1:25:43even care what that headline said. I
1:25:46don't even care that this camera is in
1:25:47my face. It's like I feel like the
1:25:49camera in and of itself is a friend. You
1:25:51know, you start to get these different
1:25:53perspectives on it and I'm so excited
1:25:56for that to kind of continue to unfold
1:25:58for you. Um,
1:25:59>> Chaos God sounds like
1:26:02>> good start there.
1:26:03>> I know that I know the first thing I'm
1:26:05going to do is I'm going to bring my own
1:26:07camera. How about that?
1:26:08>> Yes.
1:26:09>> And you can't you Yeah. Yeah. You can't
1:26:12put it in my face. I already have my own
1:26:14camera in my face cuz I'm recording my
1:26:16vlog for the next video. So, take that.
1:26:19You know, like
1:26:20>> please wear like one of those like chest
1:26:22straps with a camera mount that's like
1:26:24pointed at you.
1:26:25>> Like the 360 camera. Yeah, like the 360
1:26:28camera and it just like sees all of you.
1:26:30>> Oh my gosh, that actually would be an
1:26:32insane perspective. I think that would
1:26:34work. Um,
1:26:35>> you know, that's a good idea. I might
1:26:37keep that in mind, you know.
1:26:38>> Yeah, put that in your pocket. And if
1:26:40they want that if they want that
1:26:42footage, hey, you know, come on. You
1:26:44know, like if they want that footage
1:26:46from me. Exactly.
1:26:48>> Exactly.
1:26:49>> Yep. That's why now we talk about
1:26:51licensing fees and all of that. Very
1:26:53exciting. Um, so this podcast is called
1:26:56what's the point? And so this is a
1:26:58pretty common question is like getting
1:26:59into what what's the point of literally
1:27:03anything. But we've talked about
1:27:04ambition. We've talked about pressure
1:27:06and disappointment and joy. um
1:27:09constantly pushing what's possible after
1:27:12experiencing everything you've
1:27:14experienced to this point. What is the
1:27:16point of continuing to push your own
1:27:18limits? What do you get from it?
1:27:21>> I think it's it's honestly for my
1:27:23personal gain just to,
1:27:25>> you know, feel like I've, you know, made
1:27:28an impact on the world. That's something
1:27:30that I really want to show to people.
1:27:33Like I said, I love to help people. And
1:27:36if that means inspiring people to do new
1:27:38things, inspire people to try to follow
1:27:41in my footsteps or learn more about, you
1:27:44know, the world I live in, the sport I
1:27:46do, all those different things. That's
1:27:48my point. That's what I love to do. I
1:27:51like to, you know, be the one who gives
1:27:53back to the world even when the world
1:27:56wants to hit me with a bunch of
1:27:57different things. Like, I'm one of those
1:27:59people who I will get back up no matter
1:28:01what. like
1:28:03>> you can throw, you know, a big rock at
1:28:05me and I'll get back up and I'll throw
1:28:07an even bigger back at you. You know,
1:28:09like cuz one of those moments where, you
1:28:12know, I don't give up. I'm not really
1:28:13easy to give up and
1:28:15>> yeah,
1:28:16>> that's one of the traits that I get from
1:28:18my parents and I'm really grateful for
1:28:20that because I don't think that I would
1:28:22be achieving any of these goals, any of
1:28:25the future goals that I will achieve if
1:28:28it wasn't for them. like I give them,
1:28:30>> you know, 50% credit because, you know,
1:28:33the other 50 has to go to for me for
1:28:36actually again, you know, wanting to
1:28:38sacrifice those hours, the energy, the
1:28:40efforts, all of this. It's really just,
1:28:42you know,
1:28:44>> I like to call it the the family
1:28:46business of, you know, keeping, you
1:28:48know, seeing how, you know, much I can
1:28:50progress in this world, not just in
1:28:52skating, but again, as a person and as a
1:28:55human being.
1:28:56>> Yeah. And I'm sure that's what they want
1:28:58to see most is just your growth as as
1:29:00Ilia. Um, what's something that's really
1:29:04meaningful that somebody has said to you
1:29:06recently? And I this is kind of like on
1:29:09the spot. So if you don't have anything,
1:29:10it's fine. We can just cut this out. But
1:29:12um, if you can think about maybe the
1:29:15last few months or however at any point
1:29:17in time like something that's really
1:29:18meaningful
1:29:20and why do you think it was meaningful?
1:29:23You know, it was very this was a very
1:29:26interesting thing that happened. This
1:29:27was this happened last week. I was um in
1:29:30a I was in Sun Valley, Idaho for a show.
1:29:33They call Sun Valley. And it was like I
1:29:36was on a practice just kind of goofing
1:29:38off, you know, hanging around, you know,
1:29:40filming some stuff for the vlog that I
1:29:42was going to post later. And, you know,
1:29:45I heard in the crowd faintly someone
1:29:47said, "Remember who you are
1:29:49>> or like don't forget who you are." And
1:29:52you know, I know that quote because I
1:29:54think that was a quote that
1:29:55>> either Neymar got from Lewis Hamilton or
1:29:58it was the other way around. I think
1:30:00there's some correlation there. But I
1:30:02just right in the moment I remember
1:30:04thinking that like, you know, it was
1:30:06funny at first. I was like, "Oh, that's
1:30:08a that's what that exchange was." And
1:30:10then I like thought it on a deeper level
1:30:12like,
1:30:14>> you know, that's that's true. like
1:30:16>> I should not forget who I am because
1:30:19>> I may be this you know crazy athlete I
1:30:22may be this you know person who likes to
1:30:25defy gravity or you know change the
1:30:27limits of the sport but it's remembering
1:30:30the core values of me and that really
1:30:33was like
1:30:35you're right like it doesn't matter what
1:30:38happens what I do I have to remember who
1:30:40I am so that was pretty an impactful
1:30:44moment that just stuck with me and has
1:30:47lived in my head ever since.
1:30:48>> That's amazing. Cat lover, silly man,
1:30:51master of chaos. Um, Ilia, thank you so
1:30:55much for chatting with me and taking the
1:30:57time today. I admire so much what you
1:31:00can do on the ice. But I've really
1:31:02enjoyed getting to know you a little
1:31:03bit. I enjoyed meeting back in April and
1:31:06then getting to talk with you today and
1:31:07understand more about the person behind
1:31:09the skating, the pressure and the joy
1:31:11and the challenges and ultimately why
1:31:14you keep choosing to push yourself. So,
1:31:16thank you for being so open today. Um,
1:31:19I'm really excited to see where you take
1:31:21the sport and where the sport takes you
1:31:24and even more excited to see where life
1:31:26takes you. So, thank you so much for
1:31:28joining me on What's the point?
1:31:30>> This is so fun. I really learned so much
1:31:33from you and about myself. Honestly,
1:31:35this was one of a kind experiences.
1:31:38>> Oh, good.
1:31:40>> Stay tuned for more.
1:31:41>> Yes. The chaos god.
1:31:44>> More from chaos god. Check out the
1:31:46YouTube because it's only getting
1:31:48started and
1:31:49>> it's only getting started. Yes.
1:31:51>> You're taking the world by storm though.
1:31:52It's
1:31:53>> Yes,
1:31:53>> it's good. Yeah, it's going to be great.
1:31:55>> People are in for a journey. They're in
1:31:57for a journey.
1:31:58>> Oh, yeah.
1:32:00Heat.
1:32:02Hey, Heat.

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