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IGNORE EVERYONE AND FOCUS ON YOURSELF - Best Motivational Speech 1 HOUR | Matthew McConaughey — Transcript

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0:00Let me just ask you this,
0:01>> [music]
0:02>> Mr. Risk Taker, what's the bigger risk?
0:05Carrying on,
0:06like you're going, or taking the deeper
0:09dive?
0:12What what's better? Take eight eight big
0:14risk in life,
0:15sin once, miss the mark once, but get
0:17seven, achieve seven, seven out of
0:19eight, or take a hundred risk,
0:21and achieve eight of them.
0:24My hunch is that
0:26there's a God, he's saying, "Go for the
0:28hundred and get eight."
0:29>> Mhm. Rather than eight and get seven.
0:31Mhm. If you're not taking [music] enough
0:32risk
0:34to sin or miss the mark, to fail, Mhm.
0:38What are you doing? Don't come back with
0:39even money. Come back with a safe
0:41[music] bet. You cannot afford not to.
0:44I get the sense that feelings [music]
0:46are one of these strange bets, emotions,
0:48investing ourselves, not holding a bit
0:50back, not putting one foot out, like
0:52putting it on the line, opening up.
0:54Yeah.
0:55That feels like
0:56uh a retreat in kind, but one that's
0:58plausibly deniable. When we just have
1:00one foot out, I didn't fully commit
1:01[music] myself to this this project,
1:03this relationship, this friendship, this
1:05this uh self-transformation, and it
1:07means that if failure comes along, it
1:08doesn't hurt as much.
1:10But it also means that success is less
1:12likely, and if success comes along, you
1:14know that you didn't really earn it. We
1:16have to define success for ourselves,
1:19and then we have to put in the work to
1:21maintain it. Take that daily tally,
1:23>> [music]
1:23>> tend our garden, keep the things that
1:25are important to us in good shape. No,
1:27no, no.
1:28>> [music]
1:28>> Don't study the result.
1:30>> What was the person doing when they got
1:31there? And everybody who's achieved
1:34something great was some sort of outlaw.
1:37Yeah. Some sort of hustler, out [music]
1:39of balance, out of whack, dark times.
1:42Woo. Bad dream. Still wakes up in the
1:44middle of the night and glad they wore a
1:46mouth guard cuz [music] they'd have
1:47chipped all their teeth through that
1:48nightmare they were having about
1:49those things they did back then. I'm one
1:52of those.
1:53Prioritize who you are, who you want to
1:55be, and don't spend time with anything
1:59that antagonizes [music]
2:00your character.
2:02Let's carry on, and trust, and be ready
2:05to [music] do the work to say, "We're
2:07not going to We're not going to just let
2:08that slide anymore."
2:10No, make a sacrifice today.
2:13Sacrifice a plastic ring today for a
2:15gold crown [music] tomorrow.
2:17Sacrifice something today for more
2:18freedom tomorrow. Sacrifice something
2:20today for
2:21possible healthier future for your kids.
2:22[music] Be brave, take the hill, but
2:25first answer that question, "What's my
2:27hill?"
2:28Whatever your answer is,
2:31don't choose anything that will
2:32jeopardize your soul.
2:36If you're going to do it,
2:38do it.
2:40Say [music] what you
2:42can do.
2:43Do what you say.
2:45You can't do it, don't say you can do
2:46it. Don't over-leverage yourself. Don't
2:47over-leverage a decision and then jump
2:49in and kind of dip a toe. "I think I'll
2:52try it out." No, think if you're going
2:53to try it [music] out beforehand, but
2:54when it's time to go, dive.
2:56Finish it, find out.
2:58Come out the other side.
2:59>> [music]
2:59>> Don't leave it and go,
3:02"Ooh, if I just would have Uh-uh. That
3:04keeps me up at night. I think it keeps a
3:05lot of us up at night. [music] When you
3:07half-ass something and you just don't
3:08know whether you failed or succeeded,
3:10got what [music] you wanted or didn't
3:12get what you wanted. Finding out
3:14and looking in in the mirror and going,
3:17"I didn't half-ass it, I went all the
3:18way. I found [music] out, and that ain't
3:20for me." Or I found out, and you damn
3:22right that is for me. That's a great
3:23place to get to.
3:25>> [music]
3:26>> I think part of the challenges in life
3:27is
3:28a lot of us are running around
3:30>> [music]
3:30>> half-assing ourselves, half-fooling
3:32ourselves, not full of ourselves, not
3:34>> [music]
3:34>> studying ourselves enough, not holding
3:36ourselves to task enough, not patting
3:38our own self on the back when we do get
3:40what we want enough, not cracking our
3:42own whip on our backside when we do get
3:44out of line even though we knew better.
3:46I wish we were more full of ourselves
3:48that way.
3:51I would Someone said [music] this to me
3:52before, "Not that you're so full of
3:53yourself." And I without thinking, I was
3:55like, "Well, who else am I supposed to
3:56be full of?"
3:58That's a good line.
3:58>> And I stopped after, I was like,
3:59"Exactly what I meant." And I went and
4:01wrote that down. I wish more people were
4:03[music] more full of themselves.
4:06I think we should take some time to be
4:08able to look in the mirror and own
4:08[music] that
4:10thing that we pulled off and go,
4:14"Good job. That's what you wanted.
4:15[music]
4:16That's what you got."
4:18At the same time, be able to, as we do
4:20more often, look in the mirror
4:22when [music] we fail and go,
4:24"Uh-uh. Bogie, you did not pull that
4:27off."
4:29Give others and yourself more credit.
4:33Happiness, you can't guarantee it, but
4:35there is a science to satisfaction.
4:37[music] There you can look at habits
4:40that engineered
4:41less pain in your life, maybe more
4:44pleasure, but at least less pain.
4:47And that's that's a win. When extra
4:49credit's included, [music] credit
4:51doesn't get its due.
4:52When more gives us less, the exchange
4:55rate's [music] gone askew.
4:57When amnesty is offered, going into
4:59crime,
5:01we're more bound [music] to commit it
5:03cuz there's no fine.
5:05We start playing to tie
5:06instead of going for the win.
5:08When participation's [music]
5:09the trophy for every cow in the pen.
5:13If I stay on [music] the porch because
5:14you picked up the slack,
5:16when you look over your shoulder, I I
5:18can't have your back.
5:20If there is no [music] curfew, we're
5:21going to stay out all night. No tab at
5:23our bar, we're going to get drunk and
5:25start a fight.
5:26All these long lenses got us losing
5:28[music] our sight.
5:30You keep lifting it from me, I'm going
5:31to lose all my might.
5:34When a four-star [music] duty
5:36suits a six-star rate,
5:38we take our hands [music] off the wheel
5:40and rely on fate.
5:42Eating all we can at the all-we-can-eat
5:44buffet gives us a 3.8 education and a
5:474.2 GPA.
5:51We steal from ourselves [music]
5:52and get away with the scam.
5:54What's the measure of merit with less
5:56give-a-damn?
5:58Mhm, these unlimited options
6:00sure have me confused. While all the
6:03conveniences are keeping [music] me
6:05properly lubed.
6:07In this red-light district with the
6:09[music] of inflation,
6:11the ROI's math don't pay for vacation.
6:15So, let's just admit it, this extra
6:17credit's [music] quite a fluffer.
6:19Cuz when the tip's included,
6:21the service [music]
6:22will suffer.
6:25The conveniences, the long lenses,
6:27everything's like, "Oh, and and and we
6:29we've out-convenienced ourself.
6:32What's AI going to do to us?"
6:35Talk about convenience. How much, and I
6:37want to keep hearing studies, I want to
6:38hear if you have an opinion on this,
6:40how much
6:42of you coming up with an idea and then
6:44writing and rewriting it,
6:46>> [music]
6:47>> thinking about it, "No, no, no, no,
6:48that's not the right order. Oh, no, this
6:50is what I really mean and how to get
6:51it."
6:51>> [music]
6:51>> How much of that is really valuable
6:53to get it beyond just an intellectual
6:55idea,
6:56more valuable than just going,
6:59"Ah, there it is."
7:01Cuz what comes out of it is incredibly
7:03[music] impressive.
7:06My hunch is that yeah, we can use
7:07[music] it for like
7:09um signpost to help us, "Oh, that's good
7:11or good Yeah, that will help me Thank
7:12you for helping me organize." But
7:14there's a value to us
7:16>> [music]
7:16>> going through the sweat equity of
7:17learning something.
7:19The the studies have just They've just
7:21come out using different things like
7:23ChatGPT have actually proven what you've
7:24just said to be true. Now, when [music]
7:26people use AI to produce a piece of
7:28work, not only can't they recall what
7:31they've made, but they also start
7:33speaking in language more like the AI.
7:36So, they start to lose their own voice.
7:38People like Richard Feynman, the
7:39physicist, has said
7:40>> [music]
7:40>> the best way to learn something is to
7:42learn it and then to go through the pain
7:44of writing it, condensing it down to a
7:46simple truth like you do so often in
7:48your new book Poems and Prayers, and
7:50then sharing it with the world,
7:52and then getting the feedback. And if if
7:54the world understood it like you meant
7:55it, like that poem you just shared, you
7:57you you understand it. That's evidence
7:59that you get it. Right. So, I think AI
8:01is going to be great for me
8:03saying something to you, but not
8:04learning something myself. And I think
8:06if you know, if you want to defend
8:07creativity and innovation and the
8:09ability to think,
8:11you actually have a huge opportunity,
8:13which is to go left when everyone's
8:14going right. Right. [music] And it goes
8:16to what you were saying there, you were
8:17talking about be careful when you
8:19mess mess with incentives. Like be
8:22careful when you choose the easier
8:24route. Be careful of the unintended
8:26consequences. And AI is a prime example
8:28of an unintended consequence of you
8:30taking the easier road today. [music]
8:32Look,
8:33I still got to learn how to take a
8:35vacation.
8:36>> [laughter]
8:36>> Because,
8:38>> [music]
8:38>> you know, we there's sometimes when
8:41the wind's at our back,
8:44and we've earned it. Mhm. There's
8:46sometimes [music] when it's easy to
8:47treat it like,
8:49"Yeah,
8:50don't interrupt this, man.
8:52This is a [music] sweet-ass song.
8:54Trust that the hill's coming.
8:57Again,
8:58don't be so impressed with this,
9:00and don't
9:02What I have to do is so fall into when
9:04things are going really well, I go, "Ah,
9:06there it is. That's the mean." [music]
9:08No, it's not. Not with any ambition,
9:10it's not.
9:12Or not with life happening, [music] it's
9:14not. Yeah, you shoot for an A,
9:17and make a C, it's better than shooting
9:19for a C and making an F. So, go for
9:22[music] perfection. Reality
9:25always comes in under it. But in that
9:28moment when [music] you see the
9:29inevitable reality, the outcome, the
9:31result, how quickly can we go, "Okay,
9:35but I got so much more out of it,
9:39job, the person, [music] myself, because
9:41I went for per- for perfection
9:44than if I'd have just [music] gone for,
9:46"Nah, dude, just I mean, you know, just
9:49pass class."
9:51And but what can be hard uh for me
9:53sometimes is
9:54it can take me too long to to [music] to
9:57come down from when oh, it didn't hit
9:58perfection. And maybe it takes me a week
10:01to [music] go, "Dude, now do you finally
10:03realize that
10:04of course you weren't going to get
10:05perfection, but you got so much more out
10:07of it because you went for perfection."
10:09Yeah. So,
10:10be pleased with reality because you got
10:13a you got a good grade on it, man. That
10:15work that was that was good. That piece
10:16of art was wouldn't have been that true
10:18if you wouldn't have been I don't know
10:20like I always say this all the time and
10:21I never mean this in a in a in a in a
10:23disrespectful way. [music] I've never
10:25done a movie or performance that lived
10:27up to what I
10:29thought it could be.
10:31Cuz I'm thinking it can be divine.
10:33Comes out maybe majorly inspiring,
10:35[music] may speak
10:37to masses.
10:39Even have some magic to it, but
10:42I don't know I mean I mean it's divine.
10:46And I think I think that everything
10:47that's ever been built that's great or
10:49creatively brilliant has come from
10:50someone who has a big
10:52a big expectation gap. And of course the
10:55very definition of that, you're never
10:56going to close it. And actually the
10:57probably the reason you then are
10:58motivated to move to the next thing and
11:00pursue divine again is because it wasn't
11:02divine last time. Maybe there's
11:04still something left on the table and
11:06that's
11:07means you never arrive.
11:08>> Right.
11:10But if you can find something [music]
11:11that can keep you going, something no
11:15matter how small to look forward to and
11:17continually [music]
11:18have faith in and chase,
11:21well,
11:23then your life here
11:25will be better than it is now.
11:28Heaven or not.
11:32Engage
11:33in the world. Go find out some new
11:35things. Learn some new things.
11:38Whether that's
11:39the physical frontier or [music]
11:42the mental frontier.
11:46Take more [music] risk there. Start with
11:48what do you have an innate ability to?
11:50What's in your DNA?
11:52You know, I wanted to play basketball
11:55for years. I wanted to dunk.
11:58And it ain't my DNA, [music] well. I was
11:59never I'm never going to dunk. No matter
12:00how hard I worked at it, I was never
12:02going to dunk. It's what I wanted
12:03[music] to do. So, look at what do you
12:05have an innate ability for? Then what
12:07then are you willing [music] to pursue
12:09an education for, work for, hustle for
12:15that for which you have an innate
12:16ability [music]
12:17for?
12:18And
12:20if we're going to talk about making a
12:20living,
12:22is that which you have an innate ability
12:24for and now have educated yourself your
12:26talent to have a talent [music] for, is
12:28that and how can that be
12:30something that the world demands?
12:33Cuz it's supply and demand.
12:37Or you can end up doing something you
12:38got an innate ability for, plus you you
12:40become really good at it, you learn the
12:42craft and the world demands it and you
12:43can supply [music] it,
12:45there you go.
12:46But
12:47some of us have innate ability, but
12:49we're not willing to we don't work for
12:50it.
12:51We don't improve our skills. We kind of
12:53rely on what we got and it kind of
12:54become middle [music] of building it.
12:56Sometimes
12:58I don't have the ability for it, but I'm
12:59going to learn a new craft and I'm going
13:01to hustle at it. And [music] I actually
13:02become we get good at something, we kind
13:05of can start to go, "Oh, I didn't know I
13:06[music] loved it. I didn't like this
13:07anymore, but I like it now." It starts
13:09to feel good to do over and over. I was
13:12lost, man. I'm lost. [music] I'm writing
13:1416-page letters to myself
13:17and I'm returning them
13:19with a 17-page letter.
13:21About what?
13:22Existential [music] huge existential
13:24questions mixed in with oh, everything's
13:26going great. [music] Trying to talk
13:28myself into keeping my
13:29head up, you know what I mean? And I
13:32said, "Okay,
13:33if I can't do what I want to do, I'm
13:34going to quit doing what I've been
13:35doing.
13:36Cut the McConaughey.
13:39Quit giving yourself that out, that
13:41parachute, even though you may have it.
13:43I needed to strong-arm myself. Put the
13:45damn hands on the wheel. Look in the
13:46mirror and go, "Damn you."
13:48Cuz it is
13:49time to become a man.
13:51Walk forward
13:53>> [music]
13:53>> peripheral vision.
13:55Get it.
13:56Own yourself. Walk forward more courage
13:58and you start becoming the man you want
14:00to be instead of acting like it, putting
14:02it off. Work at it. Hustle, hustle,
14:05hustle.
14:06I can't, I hate,
14:08and lying were three things that you got
14:10[music] in trouble for.
14:12So, what did I learn from
14:15don't say you can't?
14:16That
14:18unable to do something,
14:20you can even if you can't pull it off,
14:21you [music] can go find help,
14:23which means you were just having
14:24trouble. What did I learn from getting a
14:26butt whooping for saying I hate you to
14:27my brother? Well, what I was learning is
14:30the antonyms to those words because
14:32saying I can't, lying, [music]
14:34and saying I hate you were bringing me
14:36pain.
14:37So, the opposite must bring pleasure,
14:39right? Tell the truth,
14:42love,
14:43and believe that you can. That is where
14:45the values how I remember [music] them
14:47getting instilled in me. And to this day
14:52I still have them. Trying to transfer
14:54them to my kids as well in a different
14:55way than my parents did.
14:57Anything exterior should not give you
15:00your identity.
15:02Why are you going to watch someone doing
15:04something when you can go out in the
15:05world and do it yourself? Believe is a
15:06verb.
15:08You've got this great line where you say
15:09so many people are obsessed with how to
15:11live longer instead of how to live
15:12better.
15:14How'd you come to think about that?
15:16I'm I'm for it. The longevity. I'm I'm
15:19I'm for it. But in in the pursuit of it,
15:23are we measuring quality of life along
15:25the way? Some people aren't.
15:27And
15:28I personally don't want to have the
15:30highest number,
15:32but then go,
15:34"Well, that ain't fun or I didn't enjoy
15:35that or that sucked."
15:38Profit measures [music] quality with the
15:40quantity. So, I'm saying
15:42real success is when you have profit.
15:44Well, really great longevity would be
15:47for those quality years,
15:49quality time [music] left in this life.
15:51Um I also say that because while I'm not
15:54looking forward to it, I'm not [music]
15:55really afraid of death or dying.
15:58Not looking forward to it.
16:00Shaking my boots if I'm
16:02face to face with that great white, you
16:04know what I mean? I'm not looking
16:05forward to it. But
16:07I see it as a
16:09obviously it's inevitable and obviously
16:10I I personally see it as a hopefully a
16:12comma, Mhm. you know,
16:15not a period. Mhm. So,
16:19tomorrow is not today's measurement
16:21>> [music]
16:22>> when the misery is bad enough.
16:24Right? These people don't have the
16:26suffering uh consideration.
16:29It's a it's a privilege, man. I'm trying
16:31to put food on the table right now and
16:32[music] pay my rent tonight. You want to
16:33talk to me about investing in my future?
16:38And I would say and and that's part
16:39[music] of what faith and religion are
16:40for,
16:41to help those in misery hang on to a
16:43hope that will most likely not be served
16:45them in this life.
16:47To sell them belief and faith that they
16:49will be served in the next.
16:52And what if there is nothing there, man?
16:54What if there's nothing to hope for?
16:56What if there's no next?
16:59I don't know.
17:01But either way,
17:03in misery here or without a heaven
17:05there, not having any hope or faith in
17:07anything is a certain way to remain
17:08where you are
17:10forever.
17:11But if you can find something that you
17:13can keep [music] going,
17:15something that no matter how small to
17:16look forward to and continually have
17:18faith in and chase, well, then your life
17:20here is going to be better now.
17:25Let's go to the dream. Let's flip that
17:26script. [music]
17:28I always have gone from nonfiction to
17:30say let's make that the dream. Just keep
17:32living. Art emulates [music] life. Let's
17:35go to dreams. Let's go to poems,
17:36prayers. These are pursuits of an ideal
17:39beauty. These are in between the lines.
17:41This is in between the math. This is not
17:43[music] academic. This is not
17:44intellectual. These are ideals that we
17:46pursue. The beginner's mind that we have
17:48as a child before we know worse. And I
17:50don't want to be ignorant. I don't want
17:51to be foolishly optimistic. Let's look
17:53to those and believe [music] that we can
17:54still make those real.
17:59I I grew up only knowing sort of the
18:01courage of the persistence. You're
18:03resilient, [music] endure, get up, dust
18:05yourself off, go.
18:06Problem with that, the Achilles' heel
18:08with that is you get up and get the
18:10courage to keep on going.
18:12Every time you get up and dust [music]
18:14yourself off,
18:16you make the same mistakes
18:17each time around cuz you never backed
18:19up.
18:21To have what I've now learned and still
18:22learning is [music] the courage to go,
18:24"No, I'm going to let some people pass
18:25me in the race right now cuz I'm going
18:27to look at why I keep stepping in that
18:28damn same pothole and twisting my ankle
18:30in the same [music] spot.
18:31Why I keep
18:33failing when I try to get that next spot
18:35in this relationship." There is a
18:39unique sort of circle of hell that is
18:42reserved for when
18:44you keep on making the same mistake over
18:46and over again. That you've done it,
18:49you've had to pay the penance,
18:51>> Yeah. say that you're sorry,
18:54and then [music] arrive straight back to
18:55the same place.
18:56>> Yeah. I think there's a hell in the
18:58mirror.
19:00Then I think it can become [music] a
19:01living hell.
19:02I got I I got that poem in there,
19:04daymares.
19:05I love that one.
19:06I do, too. You know, night nightmares
19:08suck, but at least you wake up. Mhm.
19:11And they're over. It's the ones that
19:13stick with you when you wake up and go
19:14through your day that are right there.
19:15Those are the ones. That's [music] the
19:16living hell. I think that's what you're
19:18what you're talking about.
19:21And you you repeat offend enough,
19:24word gets out. I mean circles gets out.
19:26People doubt you. On your approach,
19:29you're like, "Yeah, I mean but don't do
19:30this for I mean all of a sudden
19:33you're going places and you got to look
19:34over your shoulder.
19:36You got to see who's there that I didn't
19:37pay back. Who do I owe? What bridge did
19:39I burn? What person did I betray to get
19:40where I am? That's a life. [music]
19:42That's a living hell. I In the modern
19:44world, you can move from city to city.
19:47Uh at least you can in some regards
19:50leave your reputation behind. However,
19:53if you lose your reputation with
19:54yourself,
19:56if you no longer trust you, Yep. I don't
19:58keep my own word. I know that I'm not a
20:00trustworthy person. I keep making
20:01promises to myself and to other people
20:03and I keep on breaking them.
20:05I keep doing something that hurts other
20:07people
20:09or the same person.
20:11They don't trust me anymore and
20:14oh,
20:15I don't trust me anymore.
20:18The rom-com
20:20time, that was definitely
20:22me doing the work I was doing and only
20:24being able to do the work I was doing
20:26and offer the roles I was getting the
20:27rom-coms
20:29was eating at me.
20:31Cuz I felt like I could
20:32life is good, man. I make good money.
20:36Feel like I can roll out of bed and do
20:37one of these tomorrow morning.
20:38That's cool.
20:40I'm I'm the I'm the go-to guy for this.
20:44I was countered by I had met Camilla,
20:46fallen in love. She's now pregnant with
20:48our first child.
20:49>> [music]
20:49>> My life was
20:50extremely vital and I was alive. Cried
20:53harder, laughed louder, felt more joy,
20:55all those things. But my work was like
20:57all right. And I was like, well, I wish
20:59my work could be as challenging [music]
21:01or as vital as my life.
21:03And I remember looking in the mirror
21:04going, well, be glad right now.
21:05Appreciate that it's not the other way
21:07around.
21:08But can I have my work challenge my
21:10[music] lifestyle
21:11in this vitality?
21:13Yeah, if I do some dramas I want to do.
21:14Well, those aren't coming. All right,
21:15well, if I can't do what I want to do,
21:16let me quit doing what I was doing.
21:19Now, that was
21:20Yeah, it was definitely courageous. I
21:22did I did honestly think I'd written
21:24myself a one-way ticket out of
21:25Hollywood.
21:27People close to me,
21:29basically almost everybody besides my
21:31wife was like,
21:33what is your major malfunction, [music]
21:35little brother?
21:37You've got it made.
21:38Why why are you
21:41throwing a jackknife in this style where
21:42you're tripping yourself running
21:43downhill, man? You you you did it.
21:47And
21:49I had my wife and myself to remind
21:53myself of that 4:00 [music] a.m. clarity
21:56that I had
21:57in tears when I was like,
21:59no.
22:01I'm I'm I'm I'm rolling [music] the
22:03dice. I'm sticking with it. Mhm.
22:05Yeah, man. I did think I wrote myself a
22:07ticket out of Hollywood. I did look at
22:10other vocations, become [music] a
22:11teacher,
22:12uh wildlife guide. I serious seriously
22:15looked at those things.
22:17But over time, and it was about 20
22:18months, it was gone long enough, no
22:20anonymity enough, was not in your living
22:22room in a theater in a rom-com. You
22:23didn't see me on a beach shirtless.
22:25Uh where is he?
22:27Turning down the $14.5 million offer,
22:29many people go, oh what's he up
22:31to?
22:32You don't just You don't just step out
22:34of Hollywood and enter unless you get
22:35You turn that down cuz you got a plan.
22:37You got somewhere you want to go. And I
22:39think that made me more
22:41attractive as a new novel idea. But that
22:43was
22:44Yeah, that risk took it I think it's
22:46fair to say that took a fair amount of
22:47courage from me.
22:50For a lot of people,
22:52their work feels more vital than their
22:53life.
22:54>> Yeah.
22:55Is that a
22:57a shiny object mirage that
22:59they need to rid themselves [music] of?
23:02If you can and you're willing to, yeah.
23:05Look, that's part of why I started
23:07writing.
23:09But script [music] flipped on me
23:115 years ago.
23:13I was like,
23:15I was feeling like my work was more
23:16vital than my life.
23:18I felt like I was going through the
23:19motions more in my life, but I was
23:20really getting major
23:22life experiences [music]
23:24in
23:25through my work. And so that was a
23:27challenge to myself, which
23:30led to the the writing, which was a more
23:32direct experience. Can I put a word down
23:34without it's my script and [music]
23:36without my performance on it, without
23:38music, without pictures.
23:40So that was an inward
23:42journey that I'm that I'm still on.
23:44Yes.
23:45Confidence, identity,
23:48testing it out and it can work.
23:50Confidence to go,
23:52I'm going to try and pull this off.
23:54Maybe get away with it, maybe it won't
23:55work.
23:57Pulling things off.
23:58And I have an innate ability for
23:59something [music] that I believe I have
24:01the innate ability and
24:04I learn to
24:05the reason behind that instinct and how
24:08to how to
24:09Where's the right time? Timing. Oh,
24:11it'll work. I think right here. Who's
24:13the audience I'm talking to? Oh, yeah.
24:15I'm going to
24:16>> [music]
24:16>> make a plan
24:17for that sell.
24:19If it's all sales, that transaction or
24:21whatever it is and bam, it hits and it
24:22lands like I wanted it to. Gosh damn it,
24:25was that deja vu? It happened.
24:29That's how I saw it.
24:30That
24:31I get confidence from that.
24:33It's I don't think it's what the mystics
24:35meant when they were like, be detached.
24:38Like I mean, go embrace, but
24:41for highs and lows and pains and
24:43pleasures, understand that those outward
24:45things are not the things to be attached
24:48to for your own identity. You have that
24:49It's got to be inward first. Enjoy
24:51those, partake, but don't become
24:53attached to those for your measure.
24:58Without complacency,
25:00trust that time is on your side.
25:01>> Yep.
25:02What do you mean by that? Yeah, man.
25:04Don't get ahead or behind it. And I can
25:06get in a rush.
25:07Look, and I know how to hustle and let's
25:09go. The clock's ticking. We're all
25:11behind. All hands on deck. We got to
25:13bust ass. No time for pause. There's no
25:14sleep, no nothing. Get the caffeine out.
25:16Let's go.
25:17>> Mhm.
25:17Sometimes we got to do that. But that is
25:19usually because an unforeseen
25:21circumstance has happened, that there's
25:22a crisis we got to deal with or we've
25:25procrastinated and have put myself
25:27[music] in that position where I got We
25:28got to cram. Mhm.
25:29But
25:32it's not those two circumstances.
25:34We got to watch ourselves getting ahead
25:35of time.
25:37And it's on your side.
25:39It's a little what I mean about the
25:41living longer and living more quality.
25:43Time's on our side and we're forced to
25:45think and feel, especially today, with
25:48how fast things move.
25:50That. More productivity. Faster pace.
25:52[music] More information. Faster pace.
25:54It's better. We're
25:55We're at We're ahead of We're ahead of
25:57of time a lot.
25:58And
26:00but time's still moving at the same
26:01speed.
26:03And they're not giving more than 24
26:04hours a day, even though me, like a lot
26:06of people, are looking for more. Mhm.
26:07There's just not There's not There's not
26:08any more unless you just want to change
26:10your work day.
26:11And some people do. Me, I need my 9 and
26:131/2 hours sleep. If I only say I'm
26:14[music] getting 4 hours sleep and get 5
26:15and 1/2 my hours more of the work day to
26:17be more productive, I would, but I'm not
26:18to making that trade-off. Mhm.
26:22It's on our side. And when we're feeling
26:24like we're dancing with time,
26:27I know I'm usually getting more done at
26:31the same pace. Mhm.
26:35It's the John Wooden, a great basketball
26:36coach for UCLA.
26:38Be quick, but [music] don't be in a
26:39hurry.
26:40That was his note to the his basketball
26:43players. Like, you can be quick, but
26:44don't be in a hurry. You will [music]
26:45miss things.
26:47You know, it's it's it's it's it's the
26:48Lego set, man. And you sit there and you
26:51get in a rush, you don't read the
26:52directions, you get to the end and
26:53you've got 12 pieces left and you're
26:54like,
26:56Because you got in a hurry. You got
26:57ahead of time.
26:58>> [music]
26:58>> Instead of just
27:00that feeling of
27:02check that what I need to do and it's
27:03all adding up and this thing's built
27:04right in the foundation right and boom,
27:05there's the last piece. It fits. Voila.
27:08It was with time. Time's on our side.
27:10It's not an enemy.
27:12The end. Death is not the enemy.
27:16I do believe that part of, [music] you
27:17know,
27:18not in a rush to get there and we can
27:20stave it We want to stave it off
27:21sometimes and that it can be a screaming
27:23fight
27:24and partially denial can help us get
27:26there. I understand that, but still,
27:28it's on our side. It's going to happen.
27:30And since it's going to happen
27:32and there's that's non-negotiable,
27:36might as well go,
27:38well, I'm not going to
27:40rush [music] to try and make more of it
27:41than there is.
27:43I want to try and spend the time I got
27:45as well as I can, produce,
27:49succeed, achieve, all whatever those
27:51things are, but also
27:53at a pace that
27:56I'm me, that I that I that I I like I
27:57like to dance to. I I I like the giving
27:59the take. I like the reverb. I like the
28:02the the
28:03>> [music]
28:03>> the cause and effect of how things are
28:04happening at this pace.
28:07How are we orienting ourselves now since
28:09time is speeding up so much faster
28:11[music] with AI?
28:13I'm actually this with AI.
28:15And I mean this this is an objective
28:16question.
28:18With AI,
28:19with all these podcasts, with all
28:21[music] these wealth of information that
28:22people can get at all times and no one's
28:24listening to music anymore, they're
28:25listening to everybody talk [music]
28:26about this and reading up on this and
28:28they're finding out the answers in in 10
28:30seconds that would have taken them 10
28:31days to get before,
28:33do people sound smarter to you?
28:35No.
28:37Me, neither.
28:39They don't sound dumber.
28:41I do think
28:42So we're talking about
28:43>> [music]
28:43>> If everything's significant, nothing's
28:44significant at all. I do think that I I
28:46I I
28:47I talk to some people that I feel like
28:48they're hyperly [music] punching their
28:50information absolutely
28:52great.
28:53They're just flushing out and I'm going,
28:55dude, what do What was the theme there?
28:57Did you have a bass guitar in your band?
28:58You need a bass guitar or at least
29:00somebody on percussion hold it down cuz
29:01I didn't hear the theme. I didn't hear
29:02the thread. It was digits.
29:05Where was the soul in that story?
29:08Which goes back to the quality
29:10with the quantity. [music]
29:12The information, but can we have the
29:13soul in it? Where I I hear the rhyme.
29:16Oh, there's rhyme to that, [music] those
29:17digits. There's rhyme to those facts.
29:20Oh, I see how they add up. Oh, but what
29:22if you put them in this order? Ha, they
29:23add up to another thing. Or actually,
29:24maybe they add up to the same damn
29:26thing. Interesting. Now I've got a
29:28rhyme. Now there's a song.
29:30That happens when time's on your side
29:32and you're looking at it without
29:33complacency. Like start now.
29:35That doesn't mean time's on my side.
29:37Yeah, dude. In sha Allah. Mhm.
29:39When it happens, it'll happen. No, I'm
29:42like
29:43Wake up.
29:44It clock's ticking.
29:47It's on your side. Now, just move with
29:48it. Dance with it.
29:50Put some soul with the the facts.
29:56So much easier to be supportive and
29:57gentle
29:58>> [music]
29:58>> of other people Yeah.
30:00>> than of ourselves. You know, you will
30:02happily bestow this sort of
30:05gentle, reassuring
30:07>> [music]
30:07>> pat on the shoulder when somebody
30:09succeeds or falls short when they tried
30:11their best. Yet, given the fact that you
30:13tried your best, you give yourself a
30:15kick on the way out of the door and a
30:16harsh word to follow you. Yeah, because
30:19I got myself in the pickle cuz [music]
30:20things didn't go how I wanted it to go
30:22or how I believed it could go.
30:25Life's the ironic tragedy. [music]
30:27Life is pain.
30:29I'm the reason
30:30that I stepped in [music] which is also
30:32an asset.
30:33Even if someone go, "You Why you giving
30:35yourself so much credit for screwing
30:37that up?"
30:38>> [music]
30:39>> We're going to make mistakes.
30:42You got to own them.
30:43Then [music] you got to make amends.
30:45And then you got to move on.
30:48Guilt and regret kills many a man before
30:50their time.
30:52You [music] turn the page, get off the
30:54ride. You are the author of the book of
30:57your life.
31:02There are habits that I notice of things
31:04I take care of in my life health-wise,
31:06faith-wise, father-wise, husband-wise.
31:08If I'm doing that consistently, there's
31:10less valleys.
31:13The ironic tragedy is that life has to
31:14be lived forward, but only makes sense
31:16in reverse.
31:17When you look back, we all we can all
31:19connect every single dot. It's
31:21mathematical, scientific how we got to
31:23this [music] table right here.
31:25It It's It's all connected if we go back
31:27and look at it. And there's a whole lot
31:29of I thought that was the end. Well, it
31:31was the end, but it was the beginning of
31:32this thing.
31:36What you're leaning into is that mystery
31:38going forward, right? That ironic
31:39tragedy that you have something to push
31:41off the Well, I don't know what I do
31:43want, but I do know I don't want that.
31:45>> You have leverage. Yes. You know,
31:47>> [music]
31:47>> it's it's there.
31:50You know, we always say, "Well, who are
31:51[music] you?" You know, once you figure
31:53out who you are. And we ask I tried to I
31:55try not to ask my kids that now. Well,
31:57once you know who you are.
31:59Now, part of that who's helped me is Bob
32:01Dylan's lines like, "I don't know what
32:02all this talks about who we are, man. We
32:04are all just What we create ourselves to
32:06be." [music] And that gives me a little
32:07Oh, that's relaxing. But, the
32:10it's so much easier to figure out who
32:11you're not. [music]
32:14Then you If you start eliminating the
32:16who I'm not, by sheer mathematics, you
32:19end up
32:20moving toward who of what feeds you and
32:23who you are. And it's a hell of a lot
32:25easier thing to go, "How can I get rid
32:27of some in my life?" than it is
32:29to go, "Well, how do I go to my true
32:31self?"
32:35Do I want to press the accelerator more
32:37quickly?
32:38Or do I want to take my foot off the
32:40brake?
32:44Sometimes the hard work and the
32:46endurance and the elbow grease, the work
32:48harder we would talk about, that [music]
32:49hustle, is not the way out. Sometimes
32:52it's I need to back up, laugh, have a
32:54sip of my favorite whatever, and dance
32:56my way through the raindrops out of this
32:58something.
33:01And even looking at the things that are
33:03bad and going,
33:05"Oh, thank you.
33:06Appreciate that."
33:09I think one of the
33:11themes of your worldview that I've
33:13become familiar with is [music]
33:15alchemizing bad times into good ones. A
33:18reminder that things that seem bad can
33:20end up being good. How can people
33:24or how do you
33:25have more of that perspective during a
33:27hard time?
33:30I probably start off intellectualizing
33:33something that I know I probably should
33:35believe in, but don't believe [music] in
33:37it. And convince myself even to an
33:40extent to trick myself
33:42that
33:43you know, you sit here and go, "Well,
33:44you just tell yourself, this too shall
33:46pass." Okay, great. Well, what the
33:47hell's that mean? Even [music] if it's
33:49true. In the moment, you're like, "What
33:50are you talking about, man? I'm in the
33:52debit section. I'm in a I'm a I'm a I'm
33:54in a warning section. I'm I'm This this
33:57sucks.
33:58I I think that how much I'm conscious of
34:01it or not,
34:02my undeniable optimism and faith
34:06that
34:07this isn't all it is. And if it is, huh,
34:10so what? It That That That's okay. Well,
34:13then really so what? You know what I
34:15mean? What's the big deal? It minimizes
34:18I don't I don't I I seem to have a
34:20tendency not to make a bigger deal
34:21[music] out of things that
34:24other people make a bigger deal. Dramas.
34:25I don't like to create false drama. When
34:27it comes and it's all I am affected. I I
34:30I I I get the blues. I get sad. I get
34:33mad. I'm a to be around. I can't
34:35get to sleep. I got demons in my own
34:37head trying to work trying to work the
34:38riddle out. Why did this happen? That's
34:41the other thing that's tough for me is I
34:42think that any bad thing that happens to
34:43me, my initial reaction is, "What did
34:45you do wrong to to lead to this?"
34:49I heard a quote recently that said,
34:51"Every man knows reflection and
34:53introspection when he's at his lowest."
34:55[music]
34:56Bad times, you can't do anything other
34:58than wallow in retrospective assessment.
35:02>> Yeah.
35:03Uh but one of my favorite things I've
35:05learned from you is when things are
35:06going well,
35:07given that that's
35:09presumably what you want to have more
35:11of, maybe worth deconstructing that.
35:13Yes. Can I bottle Can I try and bottle
35:17some science here to why things are
35:19going well? And I did find
35:21consistencies. You were appreciating
35:23more. You were pointing out beautiful
35:25things and not taking them for granted.
35:26And so, I found a list of things I'm
35:28like, and when I get off track, I try to
35:29remind myself, "Ah, you've been slacking
35:31on some of those." I've definitely found
35:33consistencies and I think we all have
35:35them if we just notate them along the
35:37way that they're not by accident.
35:39Let's cheers. Let's have a cheers on the
35:41way for all the things that [music] have
35:42worked for when we have going right.
35:44Also knowing that it's not forever. That
35:47it will we will have a mountain to climb
35:48here shortly.
35:50What's my best advice I need to give
35:52myself right now? Is listen to my own
35:54damn advice.
35:55>> [laughter]
35:59>> Now, we used to look up in the sky and
36:01wonder
36:03at our place [music] in the stars. I
36:05want to skip the flattery and the atta
36:07boys cuz I do know this.
36:10The sooner that we become less impressed
36:14with our life, with our accomplishments,
36:16with our career, with [music] whatever
36:17that prospect is in front of us, the
36:19sooner we become less impressed and more
36:21involved with that and these things,
36:25the sooner we get a whole lot better at
36:28doing it.
36:29It's like we've forgotten who we are at
36:31home. Explorers, [music]
36:33pioneers, not caretakers. Now, why do
36:35you pursue things that scare you? Why
36:38seek the [music] role that's hard?
36:40Because it cost me something.
36:42Because it cost.
36:44It comes with a price. It's not really a
36:45risk unless you can lose the fight.
36:47I feel more alive in [music] them. I
36:49have an experience in the making of
36:52them. I'm nervous every day I come to
36:54work. There are things you can [music]
36:56get away with in this world and
36:58everything you can't. Life is not easy.
37:01It is not. Don't try to make it that
37:03way. Life's not fair. It never was. It
37:05isn't now and it won't ever be. Do not
37:07fall into the trap, the entitlement
37:09[music] trap, of feeling like you're a
37:11victim.
37:12You are not. Get over it. Get on with
37:15it. And yes, most things are more
37:17rewarding when [music] you break a sweat
37:18to get them.
37:20I feel like when I nail a day and I
37:22knock and I know [music] I did, I feel
37:24like, "Yes." I get I I have a measure at
37:26the end of the day of like, "You set out
37:28to do something. You prepared for it.
37:29You had intention and you did it." That
37:32gives me gratification. That makes me
37:34feel gives me significance. That gives
37:37me confidence. So, be brave. Have
37:39courage.
37:40>> [music]
37:40>> And when you do,
37:42you get stronger. You get more aware.
37:44You get more respectful
37:46of yourself
37:48and that [music] which you fear.
37:50I want to talk about our opponent this
37:52afternoon. They're bigger, faster,
37:54stronger,
37:55>> [music]
37:55>> more experienced. And on paper, they're
37:57just better.
37:59And they know it, too.
38:04I want to tell you something that they
38:05don't know.
38:08>> [music]
38:08>> They don't know your heart.
38:11What cuz heading out there [music] I
38:13feel like I was born to do.
38:16And it excites me.
38:19And just because you can? [music]
38:21Nah, come on.
38:24It's not a good enough reason to do
38:25something.
38:27Even when it means having more.
38:30Be discerning. Choose it because you
38:33want it. Do it because you want to.
38:38It's on you.
38:40It's on you.
38:43Do you remember these? Yes. You wrote
38:45this roughly around the same time in
38:46'92. Roughly actually when I was born,
38:48funnily enough. I saw the date on the
38:49top and thought I was few days off after
38:51my birthday. Yeah.
38:52>> [sighs and gasps]
38:52>> And again, you put fatherhood number
38:54one, but there's a a series of other
38:56things on this list of your 10 goals in
38:58life.
39:00As you reflect on those goals, do you
39:02wish you hadn't written any of them? And
39:04>> [music]
39:04>> is there anything else you wish you had
39:05written?
39:07No, that that that I wouldn't change a
39:09thing about it. 10 goals in life: become
39:11a father, find and keep [music] a woman
39:13for me, keep my relationship with God,
39:15chase my best self, be an egotistical
39:17utilit- utilitarian,
39:19>> [music]
39:20>> take more risks, stay close to mom and
39:21family, win an Oscar for best actor,
39:24look back and enjoy the view, just keep
39:26living.
39:28I don't know what I'd add to that.
39:31One of the things that you talk You've
39:33talked a few times about is this idea of
39:34like you needing resistance. You said it
39:37two or three times. And we're going back
39:38to what it is to be a man and what it is
39:41to be a well-orientated stable man.
39:45Needing resistance.
39:47Is that a goal to aim for? Is that
39:49Uh I think [music] it's just a necessary
39:51necessity
39:53for
39:56having more than [music] just
39:58an individual
40:00life.
40:02The top of the high-rise, you got to
40:04have some resistance [music]
40:06to have some form. You got to push off
40:08of something to go somewhere.
40:12It's very hard when you're just floating
40:13[music] in no gravity and no resistance
40:15to actually pursue a north star. You
40:17have no leverage.
40:20Mhm. You you
40:22floating, where's the art?
40:26Probably more anarchy than art.
40:29So resistance gives form.
40:32Heard great artists say this.
40:34Limitations
40:36reveal style.
40:38Resistance. So I can dream nights. If
40:40life's just nothing but green lights. If
40:41you got no yellows and reds, no reasons
40:43to pause or crises that stop [music]
40:45you,
40:46resistance?
40:48This What are you just going to go in
40:50circles
40:51till you run out of gas, get dizzy?
40:56I don't see that How How do we evolve
40:59or devolve [music]
41:01without resistance? Now, picking the
41:03right resistance
41:06is it is an art in itself. It's
41:07challenging.
41:08I've been clumsy with it my life.
41:11When especially when I got famous
41:13[music] and got success,
41:15man, there's enough people telling me I
41:17love you and the caviar and the
41:19champagne. I was like,
41:21the why me? I don't deserve any of
41:23this. What did I do? And I
41:25I I
41:26things up on purpose just to
41:27say like I tripped myself running down
41:30hills so I could bloody my own nose and
41:31go, "Ah, now I can feel.
41:34Okay. Okay, now my heels are on the
41:35ground. I need It was clumsy.
41:39So
41:40I don't think we need the kind of
41:41resistance that we [music] create that
41:44can harm us
41:46or get in our way for getting in our
41:47way's sake cuz I've come to learn, I
41:49think we all are, know when things are
41:50going really well,
41:52resistance is going to come. If you stay
41:54If you stay with If you're a If you have
41:56any ambition, resistance is going to
41:58come.
42:00We often see resistance as a form of
42:01failure and something that we should
42:03endeavor to avoid. You think about the
42:05avoidance [music] of like people
42:06building families or even
42:09many people consider that we're living
42:10in a bit of a comfort crisis. This is
42:11slightly a different sort of analogy,
42:13but
42:14most of the diseases that we have today,
42:16whether they're diseases of, [music] I
42:17don't know, the mind like, you know,
42:19people feeling lonely and isolated or
42:20physical diseases, 80% of Americans
42:22getting back pain, but no one in the
42:24Hadza tribe in Africa getting back pain.
42:27They're all a consequence of us
42:28continually choosing comfort.
42:30>> Yeah.
42:30Which is a short-term friend, but
42:32long-term enemy. And the resistance, I
42:34think, is um
42:37is something increasingly we can choose
42:39opt out of.
42:42It's a choice, too.
42:43Let me Can I hit a little point that's
42:45on this subject? It's called Tips
42:47Included.
42:48>> [music]
42:49>> All right. And I wrote this
42:51based on participation trophies. Uh
42:54um entitlement. How too much of
42:56something
42:56>> [music]
42:57>> can be just as harmful as not enough.
43:00How we all need good fortune, good
43:02[music] fate, and charity sometimes, but
43:05we shouldn't rely on that.
43:08Okay?
43:09Called
43:09Tips Included. All right. When extra
43:12credit's included, credit doesn't get
43:14its due.
43:15>> [music]
43:15>> When more gives us less, the exchange
43:17rate's gone askew.
43:20When amnesty [music] is offered going
43:22into the crime,
43:24we're more bound to commit it
43:25cuz there's no fine.
43:27We start playing [music] to tie
43:29instead of going for the win
43:31when participation's the trophy for
43:33every cow in the pen.
43:35If I stay on the porch because you
43:37picked [music] up the slack,
43:39when you look over your shoulder, I I
43:40can't have your back.
43:43If there is no curfew, [music] we're
43:44going to stay out all night. No tab at
43:46our bar, we're going to get drunk and
43:47start a fight.
43:49All these long lenses got us losing our
43:51sight.
43:52>> [music]
43:52>> You keep lifting it for me, I'm going to
43:54lose all my might.
43:56When a four-star duty
43:58suits a [music] six-star rate,
44:01we take our hands off the wheel
44:03and rely on fate.
44:04Eating all we can [music] at the
44:06all-we-can-eat buffet gives us a 3.8
44:09education and a 4.2 GPA.
44:13We steal from ourselves and get away
44:15[music] with the scam.
44:17What's the measure of merit with less
44:19give a damn?
44:20Mhm, these unlimited options
44:23sure have me confused while all the
44:25conveniences are keeping [music] me
44:27properly lubed.
44:29In this red-light district with the
44:31of inflation,
44:33the ROI's math don't pay for vacation.
44:36[music]
44:37So let's just admit it, this extra
44:39credit's quite a floater
44:42cuz when the tip's included,
44:44the service
44:44>> [music]
44:44>> will suffer.
44:47The conveniences, the long lenses,
44:49everything's like, [music] oh, and and
44:52and we we've out-convenienced ourself.
44:54What's AI going to do to us?
44:57Talk about convenience.
44:59>> [music]
44:59>> How much, and I want to keep hearing
45:00studies I want to If you have an opinion
45:02on this,
45:03how much
45:04of you coming up with an idea and then
45:07writing and rewriting it,
45:09thinking about it. [music] No, no, no,
45:11no, that's not our export. Oh, no, this
45:12is what I really mean and how to get it.
45:13How much of that is really valuable
45:16to get it beyond just an intellectual
45:17idea,
45:19more valuable [music] than just going
45:22Ah, there it is.
45:24Cuz what comes out [music] of AI is
45:25incredibly impressive.
45:28I got you that Yeah, we can use [music]
45:30it for like
45:31um signpost to help us Oh, that's good
45:34org- Yeah, that helped me Thank you for
45:35helping me organize. But there's a value
45:37to us
45:39going [music] through the sweat equity
45:40of learning something.
45:41Did the studies have just that they've
45:43just come out using different things
45:45like ChatGPT have actually proven what
45:47you've just said to be true. Now,
45:48[music] when people use AI to produce a
45:50piece of work, not only can't they
45:52recall what they've made, but they also
45:55start speaking in language more like the
45:58AI. So they start to lose their own
45:59voice. People like Richard Feynman, the
46:01physicist, has said the best way to
46:03learn something is to learn it and then
46:06to go through the pain of writing
46:07[music] it, condensing it down to a
46:09simple truth like you do so often in
46:11your new book Poems and Prayers, and
46:13then sharing it with the world,
46:15and then getting the feedback. And if if
46:16the world [music] understood it like you
46:17meant it, like that poem you just
46:19shared, you you you understand it.
46:21That's evidence that you get it. Right.
46:23So I think AI's going to be great for me
46:25saying something to you, but not
46:27learning something myself. And I think
46:29if you know, if you want to defend
46:30creativity and innovation and the
46:32ability to think,
46:34you actually have a huge opportunity,
46:36>> [music]
46:36>> which is to go left when everyone's
46:37going right. Right. And it goes to what
46:39you were saying there. You were talking
46:40about be careful when you
46:42mess mess with [music] incentives. Like
46:44be careful when you choose the easier
46:47road. Be careful of the unintended
46:48consequences. And AI is a prime example
46:51of an unintended consequence of you
46:52taking the easier road today. [music]
46:55Look,
46:56I still got to learn how to take a
46:57vacation
46:59>> [laughter]
46:59>> because,
47:00you know, we there's sometimes when
47:03the wind's at [music] our back
47:06and we've earned it. Mhm. There's
47:08sometimes [music] when it's easy to
47:09cheat and say, "Yeah,
47:11yeah.
47:12Don't interrupt this, man.
47:14This is a sweet-ass [music] song.
47:17Trust that the hill's coming.
47:20Again,
47:21don't be so impressed with this.
47:22>> [music]
47:23>> And don't
47:24what I have to do is so fall into when
47:26things are going really well, I go,
47:28"Ah, there it is. That's the [music]
47:30mean."
47:31No, it's not.
47:32Not with any ambition, it's not.
47:34Or not with life happening, it's not.
47:38Yeah, you shoot for an A,
47:40and make a C is better than shooting for
47:42C and
47:43>> [music]
47:43>> making an F.
47:44So go for perfection. Reality
47:47always comes in under it. But in that
47:51moment when you see the inevitable
47:52reality, the outcome, the [music]
47:54result, how quickly can we go,
47:57"Okay, but I got so much more out of it
48:02job, the person, myself [music] because
48:04I went for per- for perfection
48:07than if I'd have [music] just gone for,
48:08"Nah, dude, just I mean, you know, just
48:11pass class."
48:13And but what can be hard for me
48:15sometimes is
48:17it can take me too long to to [music] to
48:19come down from when Oh, it didn't hit
48:21perfection. And maybe it takes me a week
48:23[music] to go, "Dude, now do you finally
48:25realize that
48:27of course you weren't going to get
48:27perfection, but you got so much more out
48:30of it because you went for perfection."
48:31Yeah. So
48:33be pleased with reality because you got
48:35a you got a good grade on it, man. That
48:37That was That was good. That piece of
48:39art was wouldn't have been that true if
48:41you wouldn't have been I don't know,
48:42like I always say this all the time and
48:44I never mean this in a in a in [music] a
48:46in a disrespectful way. I've never done
48:48a movie or a performance that lived up
48:50to what [music] I
48:52thought it could be.
48:53Cuz I'm thinking it can be divine.
48:56Comes out, maybe majorly inspiring, may
48:58speak
48:59to masses,
49:01maybe have [music] some magic to it, but
49:04I don't even know. It's divine.
49:08And I think I think everything that's
49:10ever been built that's great or
49:11creatively brilliant has come from
49:13someone who has a big
49:15a big expectation gap. And of course,
49:17the very definition of that, you're
49:18never going to close it. And actually,
49:20the probably the reason you then are
49:21motivated to move to the next thing and
49:22pursue divine again is because it wasn't
49:25divine last time. Maybe there's
49:27still something left on the table, and
49:28that's
49:30means you never arrive.
49:31>> Right.
49:32But if you can find something that can
49:34keep you going, [music] something, no
49:37matter how small, to look forward to and
49:40continually have faith in and [music]
49:42chase,
49:44well,
49:45then your life here
49:47will be better than it is now.
49:51Heaven or not.
49:55What do I need to understand about your
49:56earliest context to understand
49:59who you are, the values you have, and
50:01the perspective that you view the world
50:02with?
50:04Earliest on,
50:06basic values
50:09of
50:10respect yourself, [music] respect
50:11others. Give a damn about yourself, give
50:13a damn about others.
50:14Combined with a mother that s- wherever
50:18we [music] went
50:20in the world
50:22that we might have been a little nervous
50:23to take a [music] risk at, she was like,
50:25"Don't walk in there like you want to
50:26buy the place, walk in like you own it."
50:29So, a
50:30>> [music]
50:30>> a sort of
50:31boosting up of what you could say is
50:33massive ego, but also [music]
50:36you were not allowed to walk on your
50:38proverbial toes in our family.
50:41You were brought down, and if anyone
50:44in our family, if anything, I would say
50:46[music] going back, I think mom mom and
50:48dad maybe could have been a little more
50:50lenient with the successes [music] that
50:52we had and let when we did parade, when
50:54my brother did win the the track meet,
50:58and walk through the house like this, to
50:59allow him to do that in in in you
51:01weren't allowed to you weren't allowed
51:02[music] to do that.
51:04You were immediately humbled, no matter
51:05if you were coming right off a victory
51:06or a win or a box office hit, you
51:08weren't allowed to.
51:10At the same time,
51:12you were raised up once you were humble.
51:14Um
51:15that balance. We were taught [music]
51:17resilience, heavy heavy duty resilience.
51:20Baseline gratitude.
51:23Quit asking me for new [music] shoes.
51:25I'm going to introduce you to the kid
51:26with no feet. Whoa.
51:28Okay. Like sobering.
51:31These were
51:32were these aphorisms from my mother?
51:33Yeah, but they were pounded into us, all
51:35[music] right? At the same time,
51:39I was with 36 years thinking I was
51:40Little Mr. Texas
51:42cuz my mom told me I was. Until 36 years
51:45later I look at the trophy and it says I
51:47was runner up.
51:48I go, "Oh, mom was like overselling us
51:51to ourselves at the same [music] time.
51:54You better be humble."
51:56Sleep was sin in my household.
52:01Sin. I saw my dad asleep one time in my
52:03life.
52:04I got up at 8:00 on a
52:06>> [music]
52:06>> Saturday morning and looked peeked went
52:08to the kitchen and peeked in and I saw
52:09him sleeping. I went woke up my brothers
52:10like, "Dude, what Dad Dad's still
52:11asleep."
52:13He actually [music] died 2 and 1/2
52:15months later.
52:16And connected that idea that, "Oh, if he
52:18slept in that late, he must have not
52:20been feeling well." If it was [music]
52:22daylight, you couldn't be inside.
52:25There's a fierce sense of independence.
52:27You get 30 minutes of TV a night max.
52:29Mom would always say, "Turn that damn
52:30thing off, get outside." You had to be
52:31outside.
52:33I go out get out [music] in the world,
52:34go hustle, figure it out, be home by
52:36dark. That was just the understood rule.
52:39We always knew we were loved. There's
52:41never a question that we were loved and
52:43mom would always keep on and make sure
52:45you're loving yourself.
52:47I remember [music] breakups,
52:48heartbroken.
52:49She'd let she'd let us
52:52mourn. She was a great ear, very
52:53sensitive ear [music] to that kind of
52:55took to pains like that, broken hearts.
52:59But only for [music] a day.
53:02After a day, she'd crank up the AC/DC
53:05man and go like, "Now, skedaddle.
53:08[music] You're worth it. Her loss. Come
53:10on, get out of bed. [snorts] Uh-uh. Come
53:13on. Uh-uh. Quit moping. Lift your head
53:14up. Come on. Come on, buddy, we got
53:15this. Uh-uh. Her loss."
53:17Give you the day, no more than that.
53:21Our love in the family
53:24was physical.
53:25No grudges.
53:28No grounding.
53:31You get in trouble,
53:32which we did,
53:34one, we were always guilty when we got
53:36in trouble,
53:38but it was [music] corporal. It was take
53:40your licks.
53:41Get it over with, take your licks. We're
53:43not going to ground you cuz that'd be
53:44taking away your time, and your time is
53:46the most valuable thing you got. So,
53:47take it take your licks, you're not
53:48going to get injured, it's going to
53:49hurt, [music] and don't yell cuz if you
53:51yell
53:52one licks,
53:53you're going to get another one. The
53:54love was tough,
53:55>> [music]
53:55>> the love was physical. We hugged more
53:57than the the the hands soothed much more
53:59than they hurt, 999 times out of a
54:02thousand, but it was a [music] we were a
54:05physical hugging loving
54:08family. You always went to bed with an
54:10[music] I love you and a kiss, even if
54:11it was ritual, which it was.
54:15Like a Sunday service,
54:17got to wake up even if I'm not listening
54:19to the damn preacher, I'm being
54:21subconsciously reminded that you should
54:23take a day out [music] of the week to be
54:25at the most number two, that you should
54:27go get
54:28humbled
54:29and say thank you to a higher power and
54:31thank you for the things that you have
54:33in your life and thank you for the
54:34people you have in [music] your life and
54:35helping those people double down on
54:37those great attributes that they have.
54:42People come they go, "Oh my god, I'm so
54:43sorry about [music] your childhood."
54:45And I never felt like I wasn't loved.
54:49And it was hard love and it was tough
54:50love and my mom and dad's love was
54:52passionate love. [music]
54:54We knew we were loved.
54:59We remember the stuff we [music] earned,
55:01the stuff we experienced more than what
55:02the teacher tells us or what someone
55:04gives us for free.
55:06We just do. We broke a proverbial sweat
55:08on it, whether it's mental or physical
55:09or whatever. We we we we built it. We we
55:11understand, we felt how we [music] got
55:13it, how we achieved it, how we got what
55:16we wanted.
55:19Those stick with us. Whether we forget
55:20them intellectually, [music] they were
55:22written in our lineage and they build
55:24resilience and they and and and they
55:25build a healthy true optimism [music]
55:28going forward to know that, "Oh, no,
55:30I've I've I've worked for something
55:31before and achieved it." Delayed
55:32gratification.
55:34Oh, there are choices I can make today
55:36for myself that [music] will pay me back
55:39later in life.
55:42And [music] I've got friends and trust
55:43me, I've done it myself,
55:45you know, that
55:46lose a job and then get another but
55:48won't take it cuz it's less salary than
55:49maybe the one they had before. And all
55:51of a sudden find themselves three,
55:52[music] four, five, six, seven, eight
55:54years, a decade later going they're
55:56still stuck. They they didn't do
55:58anything. They're still saying like,
56:00"No, I'm going to find that thing." And
56:01I'm going like, "You missed a decade,
56:02man.
56:04Just go do that one that that you love
56:06to do that maybe was going to pay you
56:07less because
56:08>> [music]
56:08>> you'd at least been building something
56:10through the day and who knows what that
56:11would have led to?
56:13Maybe that would have led to something
56:14where you're getting paid five times
56:15more than you were
56:16doing something else you love even
56:18more." Uh so, sometimes it's not even
56:20about what choice we make, just make a
56:21choice [music] and commit to it and go
56:23and dive in.
56:27So, [music]
56:28while we're here
56:30and they're going to run across the
56:31Jumbotron, let's make it a place where
56:34we break [music] a sweat,
56:36where we believe, where we enjoy the
56:38process of succeeding in the places and
56:41ways that we are fashioned [music] to,
56:42where we don't have to look over our
56:44shoulder because we're too busy doing
56:46what we're good at,
56:48>> [music]
56:48>> voluntarily keeping our own counsel
56:50because we want to,
56:52traveling [music] towards immortal
56:54finish lines, we write our own book,
56:56overcoming our fears, we make friends
56:59with ourselves, and that is the place
57:03that I'm talking about.
57:06From the soles [music] of your feet,
57:08with every ounce of blood you've got in
57:09your body, lay it on the line until the
57:11final [music] whistle blows. And if you
57:13do that,
57:17if you do that,
57:21we cannot lose. [music]
57:23So, turn the page, get off the ride. You
57:27are [music] the author of the book of
57:29your life.
57:31Knowing who we are is hard.
57:33It's hard.
57:35Give yourself a break.
57:37Eliminate who you are not first,
57:39>> [music]
57:40>> and you're going to find yourself where
57:41you need to be.
57:43And the Oscar goes to
57:46Matthew McConaughey.
57:47I had a very important person in my life
57:48come to me and say, "Who's your hero?"
57:50And I said, "I don't know, I got to
57:50think about that. Give me a couple of
57:51weeks." I come back 2 weeks later, this
57:53person comes up and says, "Who's your
57:54hero?" I said, "I thought about it. You
57:55know who it is?" I said, "It's me in 10
57:57years."
57:59So, I turned 25, 10 years later. That
58:01same [music] person comes to me and
58:03goes, "So, are you your hero?" And I was
58:04like, "Not even close."
58:07"No, no, no." She said, "Why?" I said,
58:09"Because
58:09>> [music]
58:10>> my hero is me at 35." So, you see, every
58:12day, every week, every month, and every
58:13year in my life,
58:16my hero is always 10 years away.
58:18I'm never going to be my hero.
58:20>> [music]
58:20>> I'm not going to obtain that. I know I'm
58:21not, and that's just fine with me cuz
58:23that keeps me with somebody to keep on
58:25chasing.
58:30So, to any of us, whatever those things
58:33are, whatever it is we look up to,
58:34[music]
58:35whatever it is we look forward to, and
58:36whoever it is we're chasing, to that I
58:38say, "Amen." To that I say, "All right,
58:40all right, all right."
58:43>> [cheering]
58:43>> And then I say, "Just keep living, huh?"
58:45Thank you.
58:49Nobody has ever choked? I have.
58:53Huh?
58:54You know what I'm talking about,
58:54fumbling at the goal line, stuck your
58:56foot in your mouth [music] once you got
58:57to the microphone, had a brain freeze on
58:59the exam that you were totally prepared
59:01for?
59:02Forgot the punchline to a joke in front
59:03of 4,000 graduating students at the
59:05University [music] of Houston
59:05commencement.
59:09Or maybe you've had that feeling of, "Oh
59:11my god, life just cannot [music] get any
59:14better than this moment."
59:16And ask yourself, "Do I deserve this?"
59:19Now, what happens when we get that
59:20feeling?
59:22Tense up.
59:24We have this sort of outer body
59:25experience where we are literally three
59:27seeing ourself in the third [music]
59:29person.
59:30And we realize that the moment just got
59:33bigger than us.
59:36Ever felt that way?
59:38I have.
59:41And it's because we have created a
59:44fictitious
59:45>> [music]
59:45>> ceiling, a roof, to our expectations of
59:48ourselves.
59:50A limit where we think it's all too good
59:52to be true.
59:54But it's not.
59:56And it's not our right to say [music] or
59:58believe it is.
1:00:01We shouldn't create these restrictions
1:00:03on ourselves. A blue ribbon, a statue, a
1:00:06score, a great idea, the love of our
1:00:08life, a euphoric bliss. [music]
1:00:11Who are we to think that we don't
1:00:13deserve or haven't earned these gifts
1:00:15when we get [music] them?
1:00:17It's not our right.
1:00:20But,
1:00:20>> [music]
1:00:21>> if we stay in process, all right, within
1:00:24ourselves, in the joy of the doing,
1:00:28we will never choke [music] at the
1:00:29finish line.
1:00:30Why?
1:00:32Because we aren't thinking of the finish
1:00:33line.
1:00:34Because we're not looking at the clock.
1:00:35[music] We're not watching ourselves on
1:00:37the Jumbotron performing the very act
1:00:40that we're in the middle of.
1:00:42No, we're in [music] process.
1:00:44The approach is the destination, and we
1:00:46are never finished. Bo Jackson, what did
1:00:49he do? He used to run over the goal
1:00:50line, through the end zone, and up the
1:00:52tunnel.
1:00:54The greatest snipers and and marksmen
1:00:55[music]
1:00:56in the world, they don't aim at the
1:00:58target. They aim on the other side of
1:01:00the target.
1:01:02We do [music] our best when our
1:01:03destinations are beyond the measurement,
1:01:06when our reach [music] continually
1:01:08exceeds our grasp, and when we have
1:01:10immortal finish lines.
1:01:13And when we do [music] this, the race is
1:01:15never over. The journey has no port. The
1:01:17adventure never ends because we are
1:01:19always on the way.
1:01:22So, do this.
1:01:24Do this [music] and let them Let
1:01:25somebody else come up and tap you on the
1:01:26shoulder and say, "Hey,
1:01:28you you scored."
1:01:30Let them run up and [music] tap you on
1:01:31the shoulder and say, "Man, you won."
1:01:33Let them come tell you,
1:01:35"You can go home now." Let them say,
1:01:37[music]
1:01:38"I love you, too."
1:01:41Let them say,
1:01:43"Thank you."
1:01:44Take the lid off the man-made roofs that
1:01:47we put [music] above ourselves and
1:01:48always play like an underdog.
1:01:51It [music] would be helpful.
1:01:55>> [applause]
1:02:01>> Um responsibility of freedom and the
1:02:03freedom in responsibility. Life's more
1:02:05than just straight Saturdays with as
1:02:07much cake as you want to eat. It just
1:02:08[music] is. You will see how long you
1:02:10last doing that, if you really do it.
1:02:12You won't last that long. Responsibility
1:02:14is is appreciation of the past. It's
1:02:16building of a lineage. It's investing in
1:02:18ourselves. It's investing in something
1:02:19we started to build yesterday that we
1:02:21want to take into tomorrow.
1:02:22>> [music]
1:02:23>> There's a respons- That gives us
1:02:24freedom.
1:02:25So, to actually have true freedom, we
1:02:28have to be more responsible for certain
1:02:29things [music] for ourselves, who we
1:02:31are. Constantly investigating,
1:02:33interrogating our better selves
1:02:36>> [music]
1:02:36>> to say, "I'm going to be a little bit
1:02:37better at this tomorrow." Knowing that
1:02:40we never land. We never We never There's
1:02:42no There's no tada moment. And that is
1:02:44one thing I think we all got to watch
1:02:46cuz we all are so result-oriented.
1:02:49But there's no tada moment. We're always
1:02:51chasing yet. [music] And if we can get
1:02:54comfortable and understand and laugh at
1:02:56and and and be ready to work hard at the
1:02:57fact [music] that we're all just
1:02:59achieving our way to the unachievable,
1:03:02and that's as good as it gets, and
1:03:04that's pretty damn awesome.

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