If YouTube Polyglots Were Honest — Transcript

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1. 0:00hey what's going on youtube my name is
2. 0:02languagesimp and i am a hyperpolyglot
3. 0:04alpha male giga chad today i'm going to
4. 0:07be reading from a script in a bunch of
5. 0:09languages that i don't know anything
6. 0:11about in order to try to make a lot of
7. 0:13money off of youtube ad revenue then i
8. 0:16will be trying to sell you some sort of
9. 0:18course or language learning resource
10. 0:20that i would never actually use myself
11. 0:23without further ado let's get right down
12. 0:25to business
13. 0:26i'm going to start in the only other
14. 0:28language that i actually know well so
15. 0:30that you all start to trust my abilities
16. 0:40white flag surrender i'm sure you all
17. 0:42get the point by now
18. 0:44now i'm going to speak in a few
19. 0:46languages that i obviously suck at i
20. 0:48just memorized these phrases from google
21. 0:50translate this morning but i'm sure that
22. 0:53dumb americans are going to eat this
23. 0:54up like big macs from mcdonald's
24. 1:08are you surprised that a white american
25. 1:09patriot just spoke chinese with native
26. 1:12like fluency i bet half of you are
27. 1:15foaming from the mouth and doing
28. 1:16backflips right now
29. 1:18despacito quiero de sus despacito firmar
30. 1:23las paredes de tu la barinto
31. 1:48now i am going to literally just say how
32. 1:50are you in indonesian
33. 1:55hundreds of indonesians are now in my
34. 1:57comments section writing wow you speak
35. 1:59fluent indonesians
36. 2:19foreign
37. 2:28i am not gay but i am attracted to
38. 2:30stephen kaufman because he is a hyper
39. 2:32polyglot giga chad and an athlete now is
40. 2:36the part of the video where i completely
41. 2:37exaggerate how quickly i learned these
42. 2:39languages let's just say that i learned
43. 2:41hmm i don't know 10 languages in one
44. 2:44month how about that you're all too
45. 2:46stupid to know how long it takes and
46. 2:48you're too lazy to learn a language
47. 2:49anyway but in case you actually have the
48. 2:51motivation to study you should use this
49. 2:54app called luodingo i only used it a few
50. 2:56times and it is terrible you could
51. 2:59literally never learn a language on this
52. 3:01app but they are paying me thousands of
53. 3:03dollars to say this to you
54. 3:04i don't care about my viewers at all so
55. 3:07go download this and pay for a
56. 3:09membership please i have never touched a
57. 3:11woman and to celebrate never touching a
58. 3:14woman i am also selling a three page pdf
59. 3:16file explaining how i learn languages
60. 3:19for the low price of five thousand nine
61. 3:21hundred ninety nine dollars and twelve
62. 3:23cents you could alternatively get all of
63. 3:25this information for free by watching
64. 3:27one lindy boats video but i am a greedy
65. 3:30piece of before i go i just want to
66. 3:32remind you that i am better than you
67. 3:35subscribe if you too would like to
68. 3:37become a hyper polyglot gigachad