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If You Only Watch One Video Today, Make It This One — Transcript

by Mel Robbins · 16,284 words · 2,280 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Today on the Mel Robbins podcast, one of
0:02the most motivational episodes you will
0:04ever experience. In fact, I'm going to
0:06go on the record and say this is my
0:09favorite episode to date. You are not
0:11prepared and neither was I for the
0:13absolute force of nature that is Emma
0:16Greed.
0:18Anything is possible if you really put
0:21your mind to it. And this is the big
0:22thing that I want specifically women to
0:25understand. When you have nothing and I
0:27have been there, how you do anything is
0:30how you do everything. When I, you know,
0:32made sandwiches in a deli, I made the
0:34best sandwich. When I worked in the
0:37cupboard packing clothes, I would do it
0:40with excellence. I love you so much.
0:43There's just a grit to you and there's
0:47grit plus an amazingly huge heart.
0:52I was brought up in East London, which
0:54is a bit like the rough side of the
0:56tracks. I'm the oldest of four girls,
0:58raised by a wonderful single mom. Life
1:00was a little bit tough. You know, my mom
1:02did the best that she could with the
1:04little that she had. I wanted to live a
1:08different life and work in something
1:11that was enjoyable because again, where
1:12I grew up, everyone did a job to pay
1:15their bills. I had spent 10 years
1:17building my career at the intersection
1:19of brands and fashion. I had a fantastic
1:23understanding of what works in fashion
1:26and where the white space was. I really
1:28understood what was missing. Where was
1:30there a problem that I could find a
1:32solution for? And Good American was a
1:34solution. Most women are massively
1:36underserved by the fashion industry. And
1:38so I pitched Chris and Chloe, pull up a
1:42chair and put us in the meeting in terms
1:44of how that meeting went.
1:48I really approached that meeting saying,
1:52"Hey, I have this golden brilliant thing
1:55and this is going to be the next big
1:57thing in fashion." So, what happened
1:59next?
2:00>> It's a disaster. Mel,
2:01>> what is kind of the biggest lesson from
2:03your experience launching Good American?
2:06>> I would say that my biggest learning has
2:10actually been that might not be what
2:12people want to hear, but that is the
2:14truth.
2:14>> That's what they need to hear.
2:18Welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
2:20>> Thank you so much for having me. I am so
2:23happy to be here.
2:24>> I am so excited to have you here. I
2:28can't wait to learn from you. And I know
2:31the person that is here with us is
2:34excited too. And so I'd love to start by
2:37having you just share with the person
2:40who's here.
2:42What could they experience that could be
2:44different about their life or their
2:47future if they take everything that
2:49you're about to teach us and share with
2:51us today to heart? I love that as a
2:53place to start. I honestly think about
2:56my life and more specifically my career
2:58as a bit of a blueprint for what happens
3:01when you a
3:04take responsibility
3:05for yourself and when you really manage
3:09your thoughts carefully. And I think if
3:11there's anything that I've learned, it's
3:14that the combination of those two things
3:17will take you really really far in life.
3:20So taking responsibility
3:22for yourself and your life.
3:24>> Yeah. And choosing your thoughts really
3:27carefully.
3:27>> Choosing your thoughts really carefully.
3:29>> It's a choice.
3:30>> And when you do that, what happens?
3:33>> You know, when you do that, somehow your
3:36life starts to align. And it's really
3:39interesting because it's a practice.
3:41Like I feel like I'm in practice to be
3:43the woman that I want to be constantly.
3:45And so I have to really think about
3:47those things. And so when you bring
3:49those two things together, it allows you
3:51to be really really purposeful and the
3:54outcome starts to just manifest. Like it
3:57starts to actually happen. So a lot of
3:59people know that you're a judge on Shark
4:01Tank. You are the co-founder of several
4:03billion dollar companies.
4:05Congratulations on making the Forbes 100
4:08self-made women list.
4:10>> Thank you.
4:10>> But most people don't know where this
4:13all began. And so I want to go back to
4:17the beginning to East London and talk
4:20about what life looked like when you
4:22were little.
4:23>> Well, you know, I was brought up in East
4:25London, which is a bit like, you know,
4:27if you were born in Harlem or Crenaw or
4:30something like that, like maybe, you
4:32know, the rough side of the tracks if
4:33you want to see it like that. Um, I'm
4:35the oldest of four girls raised by a
4:37wonderful, wonderful single mom. And you
4:40know, we um I guess life was a little
4:43bit tough. You know, my mom did the best
4:45that she could with the little that she
4:47had. And you know, I always think about
4:49our relationship dynamics is like, you
4:51know, she was the dad, I was the mom,
4:53and we had three kids together.
4:56You know, I was a very uh parentified
4:58child, if you like to say it that way.
5:00And um I have a very very close
5:02relationship with my three sisters as a
5:05result of that because I was really part
5:06of raising them and you know, looking
5:08after them. I used to get up in the
5:10morning and iron three school shirts and
5:12make three-pack lunches and send them
5:13off to school. And sometimes, you know,
5:15I wouldn't go to school myself. I'd be
5:16exhausted by that point. You know, I was
5:19really raised by a family. Like my mom's
5:21family, her sisters, her mom were huge,
5:24huge parts of of our life. It checks out
5:27honestly because you're so driven and
5:30you are the kind of person that I feel
5:34like you see something, you just do it.
5:36How do you think your childhood and that
5:39experience of taking care of your little
5:41sisters has impacted and shaped who you
5:44are today?
5:45>> You know, in so many ways and good and
5:46bad if I'm honest. You know, I learned
5:48at a very young age to take a lot of
5:50responsibility for myself, but I was
5:52always on very high alert, right? Where
5:54I lived wasn't particularly safe and so
5:57you had to think a few steps ahead
5:59constantly. But it also gave me this
6:01idea that I needed to get far away from
6:04where I was. I was very aware that my
6:06circumstances would be limited if I
6:09stayed where I was from. And so I had
6:11this idea that I would need to work
6:13really, really hard to get out of this
6:15place,
6:16>> but I knew I would in a way. I just felt
6:18like I don't know what I'm going to do.
6:20I don't know how this is going to work,
6:21but I've got to get out of here.
6:23>> I think a lot of people feel like that.
6:24>> Oh, yeah. Totally. And so if the person
6:27that's listening or watching right now
6:29feels that way but they are not sure
6:32that they're going to get out,
6:35>> what would you say to them? Because you
6:36have already said two things. You got to
6:38take responsibility for yourself, for
6:41your life, for where you're going. And
6:43you got to choose your thoughts. So if
6:45you have this sense like there's more
6:47for me. I got to get out of here. I want
6:49to have something different. But then
6:51your thoughts are like, uh, it worked
6:54for Emma, but I'm not that kind of
6:55person. What would you say?
6:56>> Well, you know, the other thing is, Mel,
6:57so many people that come from a place
7:00like where I come from, there's this
7:02sense that you'll be abandoning where
7:04you come from. That actually it's the
7:06wrong thought to have. You're like, this
7:08this is who I am. This is where I come
7:09from. This is part of me. And what I
7:12would say to that person is you don't
7:14have to leave where you come from in
7:16your heart. I'm still the girl I always
7:19was. I'm the girl from Plasau. I will
7:21always be that girl. I just left that
7:24place. And so you don't have to give up
7:27who you are and what made you you if you
7:29leave that physical space. You can still
7:32be and have that heart of gold and that
7:34sense of scrainess and whatever made you
7:36great. And I think that that is really
7:38really important because that's what
7:40troubled me so much that I would leave
7:43the people that made me me. that I would
7:45leave those family members and those
7:46friends that were so pivotal to me as I
7:49grew up. The truth is that those people
7:52are with me every single day. Like
7:54that's just who I am. And I would say
7:56that you know anything is possible if
8:00you really put your mind to it. But you
8:02are not going to manifest your way out
8:04of anything. You have to take those
8:07thoughts and everything that you want
8:09and you've got to couple it with
8:10something. And for me that has been hard
8:12work. There is no secret. The secret is
8:15I had the vision and I put it together
8:17with some really really hard work and
8:19that's what you have to do.
8:20>> I love you so much. I I I really do
8:24because there is a there's just a grit
8:28to you and there's grit plus an
8:32amazingly huge heart. And so what a
8:34beautiful thing to say that you can
8:38change where you are but that doesn't
8:40change who you are.
8:41>> Exactly.
8:43me you clearly you know you also said
8:46something earlier about how you are
8:49constantly asking yourself and reminding
8:52yourself
8:53>> about the woman you want to be what kind
8:55of woman do you want to be like when you
8:57think about it well you know I think
8:58that for me what's been really important
9:00and actually you get to a place where
9:03you're successful and there's this sense
9:05of responsibility in me right that and
9:08again I think it comes from where I come
9:10from that I think if you are still that
9:13person inside because I still feel like
9:1515year-old Emma who was like hanging
9:17around on the streets just making you
9:20know things up in her head and dreaming
9:22of what could happen. I want to impact
9:26those people. I want to get everything
9:28that I've learned and everything that
9:29I've have and figure out how could there
9:33be a million more Emmers. Like that's
9:36what consumes me now. That's what I
9:38think about every single day. That's
9:40what we're going to do with this
9:41conversation because there is so much to
9:44learn from your story cuz you took a
9:47very unconventional path to success.
9:49>> You could say that, Mel.
9:50>> Yeah. So, were you good at school?
9:52>> I was terrible at school. I was so bad
9:54at school. And you know, the interesting
9:56thing is I'm severely dyslexic and I
9:59didn't find out that I was dyslexic
10:00until I was in my early 20s. And so,
10:02school for me was just always a
10:04struggle. It wasn't that I was
10:06particularly like naughty or
10:08disobedient. It just was so hard. And
10:11for me at that point in my life, I was
10:13like, if it's difficult, like, I'm just
10:14going to push it away. I'm just going to
10:16react to it. And if I'm really honest,
10:18you know, I had some anger issues that I
10:20had to work through because where I come
10:21from, if something wasn't working, if
10:24something was hitting you in a place of
10:26like uncomfortableness, you were just
10:28you were going to smack it out of the
10:29way, you know? And that's what I
10:30learned. I learned over and over again
10:33to react with anger. And so, I really
10:35had to train that piece of me out. and
10:38I've done a lot of work and I've been in
10:40therapy since I was 19 years old
10:43figuring those things out.
10:44>> What were you angry about?
10:46>> I think that I grew up in a place where
10:49blame was just part of the culture. Like
10:52nothing was ever our fault. It was
10:53always about somebody else over there,
10:56this neighbor, the government, nothing.
10:59You were ne I was never taught to like
11:00take responsibility and figure something
11:03out. And I feel like they're the
11:04cornerstones of my personality now. It's
11:06like I tell my kids, you know, every I'm
11:08like, "Figure it out." Like, "Just
11:09figure it out." And taking
11:11responsibility is something that I've
11:12just it's ingrained in me now, but it
11:14wasn't then. And I was angry that there
11:17was seemingly no easy path for me. I
11:20thought it should have been easier. I
11:22thought that because I was working so
11:24hard, it should have happened faster.
11:26And you have to imagine, you know, I'm
11:2742 now. I've done a job that I love for
11:315 years, not longer. For five years,
11:34I've spent my entire career doing things
11:37that have been okay and I've enjoyed,
11:41but I never had like the dream of the
11:44dream job. I've just kept going and
11:46going and going to get closer to the
11:48thing that it is that I love. And I
11:50think that that is maybe not something
11:53that we talk about enough in, you know,
11:56in media, in society right now. You are
11:58on a journey. Like it doesn't just
12:00happen. this idea of overnight success
12:02that we've built especially around
12:04entrepreneurialism and around starting a
12:07business like it's a lovely story but
12:10it's not a career path and it's not
12:11really truthful and so I thought I was
12:14owed something and it wasn't until I
12:16kind of got to about 19 I was like
12:18nobody owes you nothing that things
12:20started to fall into place for me
12:22>> I think I just heard the person who's
12:24watching and listening share share share
12:28because we can spot not that attitude
12:31and other people like I I would imagine
12:34because I have two people in my mind
12:35right now that I'm like that's the issue
12:38they're sitting around pissed off
12:40blaming the world
12:41>> when they are fully capable of picking
12:44themselves up exactly where they are and
12:46figuring it out.
12:48What would you say to somebody who is
12:53stuck in that blame, does think that
12:55they are owed something? Because it's so
12:57easy to kind of get stuck in that place
13:01yourself where you convince yourself
13:03that it's not going to be easy or you
13:04convince yourself that you owed
13:06something and then the anger does
13:08consume you. And let's be honest, like
13:10some people are dealt an unfair hand.
13:13Sometimes you've got stuff to be angry
13:15about. Sometimes it's not something that
13:17you made up in your head. It's your
13:19reality. You know, I'm a woman. I'm
13:22black. I grew up poor. I think I had
13:24something to be a little bit mad about.
13:26Right? Having said that, it wasn't
13:29serving me. And I think at the end of
13:31this, we've got to say, is this thing
13:34that I'm holding on to, is it optimal?
13:37Is it working for me? And if it ain't,
13:40you got to let it go. And that's just
13:42that. Because what is useful to us is
13:46the idea that we're going to like have
13:47this baggage, but we're going to leave
13:49it and we're going to use what is in us
13:51to propel ourselves forward. If what
13:53you've got is keeping you stuck, leave
13:55it. Like walk away.
13:58>> How the hell do you do that?
13:59>> I think the real way that you do it is
14:02by having some acceptance of it and
14:04saying, you know what, this is what it
14:05is and I accept that
14:07>> and that's okay and I'm still going to
14:11move forward. I'm still not going to
14:13allow this to hold me back. That is not
14:16my story. It's just not what I want.
14:18>> And did you know what you wanted?
14:20>> Yeah.
14:21>> What did you want?
14:22>> You know, I just wanted to I wanted to
14:24escape my situation. You know, I've been
14:26obsessed with fashion since before I can
14:29even remember. But for me, it was a
14:30means of escape. It was like, you know,
14:32I grew up in London. It was all about
14:33the supermodels, Naomi Campbell and Kate
14:35Moss and all the cool designers. And I
14:38used that and you know that industry,
14:41those people looking in the magazines as
14:43a means of escapism. There was something
14:46to dream for, something to you know look
14:49forward to, something to aspire to. I
14:52wanted to get out of where I was so bad
14:55me like I can't even tell you. I wanted
14:58to live a different life and work in
15:02something that was enjoyable because
15:03again where I grew up everyone did a job
15:06to pay their bills.
15:07>> I didn't know anyone who had a
15:09fulfilling career,
15:11>> you know, it just wasn't even part of
15:12the vernacular then. So I for me it's
15:15like I just wanted to get closer to
15:17something that I loved.
15:19>> That is such a universal experience.
15:22>> Oh yes, it is. And it's really important
15:24to recognize that if you're feeling that
15:28way to lean into the desire, you know,
15:33you don't have to love fashion. You
15:34don't have to want to do a podcast, but
15:36there's something about recognizing that
15:38you want more.
15:39>> That is where this all begins. Oh, yeah.
15:41>> Cuz until you do, you can't take
15:44responsibility for what that more might
15:46be.
15:46>> It's so true. It's, you know, again, I'm
15:48a mom of four now and the only thing I
15:51care about is that my kids care about
15:54something. You've got to have something
15:56that you feel strongly about. And for
15:59me, it is, was, and and will ever be
16:01always be fashion. That's just what I
16:04loved. But it's always we have to
16:06remember that we have to have something
16:07to hope for. Like that can be anything.
16:11But you got to have something in your
16:12sights that you are striving for. And I
16:15think that that's really important just
16:16as a basic human emotion. You got to
16:19have a a thing, a goal, an expectation,
16:23but something that drives you. And if
16:25you cannot figure out what that is, if
16:28you don't know what you should pursue,
16:30you should pursue yourself. You should
16:33figure out how do I make myself better?
16:35How do I eat better? How do I exercise
16:37better? How do I get better habits? How
16:38do I get better? And that thing will
16:41figure itself out.
16:42>> Why is that important? It's the key of
16:45life because we're all on a journey and
16:47if that journey is not to leave the
16:49world better than you found it for you
16:51to be better than you were when you
16:53started, then what are we all doing,
16:54right? We're in a lifelong journey. You
16:57know, I'm obsessed with quotes and one
16:58of my favorite ones is the more you
17:00learn, the more you earn. It's a Warren
17:02Buffett quote and I love Warren. I'm
17:03obsessed. Um, but I think about that all
17:06the time and I am a person that has and
17:08again despite my dyslexia, I'm gobbling
17:11up information all the time. But it is
17:13in an effort to make myself better to
17:17grow myself to expand the way that I
17:19think. And so I say to people all the
17:21time like that is what you should do.
17:23You should pursue the highest version of
17:27yourself that you can possibly be and
17:29within that you will figure it all out.
17:31I'm in.
17:34>> Well, you definitely are in, Mel. I like
17:38what you're doing every day.
17:39>> Well, what's interesting, Emma, is
17:40you're so on fire that I'm I I keep
17:44forgetting that that I should ask you a
17:46question because I'm like, is there more
17:47coming? Cuz keep going, Emma.
17:49>> I'm like, I'm on the Mount Robin show.
17:51>> Oh my god. Well, you know, one of the
17:53things that I was curious about because
17:54I I do agree with you that if you can,
17:57you have to have something. And the
17:59other thing I wanted to say about it is
18:01I have no interest in fashion. And I'm
18:05saying that because what you're
18:07interested in personally
18:09doesn't have to make sense to somebody
18:11else.
18:11>> No.
18:11>> Because it's not for somebody else. No,
18:13>> it's for you.
18:15>> And if you don't have that thing that
18:18gets you out of bed, whether it's a
18:19distraction or an interest or a passion
18:21or a person, then make yourself the
18:24reason why. Mhm.
18:25>> What is the first step of that journey
18:29to pursuing yourself?
18:32>> So, it's really interesting because I
18:34think there's a couple of things that
18:35you can do. So, let's just put health
18:37and wellness to the side for one second.
18:39It's a huge part of it, but let's talk
18:41about what it means to be excellent,
18:44>> right? To be excellent.
18:47>> I really understand the power of like
18:51how you do anything is how you do
18:53everything. And this idea of excellence,
18:55of taking it seriously how you wake up
18:58in the morning, of taking it seriously
19:00how you prepare your breakfast, taking
19:02it seriously how you show up in work,
19:05how you see people. Like do you go
19:07morning or do you go morning, how are
19:10you? And do you listen and respond back?
19:13Like all of these things matter. They
19:15matter to who you are. They matter to
19:17how you're seen. And they matter to how
19:19you you're viewed. When I, you know,
19:21made sandwiches in a deli, I made the
19:23best sandwich. When I worked in the
19:26cupboard in a PR agency packing clothes,
19:29I would fold those clothes beautifully.
19:31My boxes, my tissue was amazing, my
19:33sticker was in the middle. I would do it
19:36with excellence. Every little thing,
19:38because that is what makes people
19:40gravitate towards you. When you take
19:42everything that you do seriously and you
19:45take an element of pride in anything, it
19:47draws people in. And you know, you have
19:50to work a lot of dog jobs before you get
19:53the thing. Life is very, very long and
19:56it goes in chapters. And so, what I say
19:58to people is be excellent at where
20:01you're at, at whatever you're doing,
20:03because that has some kind of invisible
20:05magnetic pull. Terry Cruz tells this
20:09incredible story about being dead broke
20:13after getting out of the NFL and he's
20:16moved his wife and four kids to LA and
20:19he thinks he's going to be an
20:21illustrator and then all of a sudden the
20:23like digital illustration stuff is
20:25happening and he is at the end of his
20:30rope, depressed, can't get work and he
20:34gets a job sweeping
20:37literally a custodian on a on like a
20:40movie lot and he kept himself going by
20:43saying, "How would I sweep this floor if
20:46somebody was paying me a million dollars
20:48to do it?"
20:50And to me, what you're saying is, if you
20:54simply don't know where to start, you
20:56just gave the most brilliant advice on
20:58the planet. What would it look like to
21:00wake up tomorrow morning and start the
21:03day with excellence? What would it look
21:06like to wake up tomorrow morning and how
21:08would you do it if somebody was paying
21:09you a million dollars to just get out of
21:11bed and make your bed? What would your
21:13morning look like?
21:14>> What happens internally?
21:17Because there there is the thing that
21:18people are drawn to you because it is
21:20true because the vibration within you
21:23literally changes like you vibrate a
21:26different energy. If you wake up with a
21:28smile on your face and you say maybe if
21:30somebody's in the bed with you, "Good
21:32morning, darling. I made you a cup of
21:34tea. Like, what does that say? That says
21:37I value you. The morning is good and
21:40here we are together and I just
21:41acknowledged you. Like, who doesn't want
21:43to wake up like that? And if nobody's
21:46next to you and you stretch your arms
21:48like this and you put nice pajamas on
21:50because you care about yourself and you
21:52make your bed and you walk away and
21:54you're like, "Look at that bed." Like,
21:55that is like that's the dream. That's
21:57and that's what I say to my kids. I
21:59remake their beds, by the way. But
22:01that's not the point. You know that it's
22:02it's like how you do anything is how you
22:06do everything. And that is the key. You
22:09got to start you've got to sweat the
22:11small stuff and you have to start
22:12somewhere. And when you have nothing and
22:14I have been there, that works because
22:17that starts to set the tone and people
22:19notice. They really, really notice.
22:22>> I want to go back in time.
22:26>> What is this smell?
22:29It's a photo of you when you were 17
22:32years old.
22:32>> Oh, look. And these two are still my
22:35darling. I'm literally having dinner
22:36with these two in London next week,
22:38Stella and Chanel.
22:39>> Well, I'm going to I'm going to give you
22:41that photo as a as your present for
22:43being here on the podcast. You're 17
22:46years old. You had just left.
22:49>> Yeah. I just So, tell us about that
22:51moment and
22:53>> what was happening in your life. Well,
22:54you know, I have to say that was a
22:56crushing time for me because I left home
22:59when I was 16. The circumstances at my
23:02house had just become untenable and I
23:04left home and home was an hour and a
23:07half away from where I lived. So, I get
23:10this like terrible, you know, high-rise
23:13apartment. I had no fridge, no oven. We
23:15kept our milk on the on the balcony cuz
23:17in London it's that cold that you could
23:19kind of keep milk fresh for two days if
23:21you left it on the balcony. And um I
23:23enrolled at the London College of
23:24Fashion. So this for you guys is what
23:26you would call senior high. I'm 16,
23:28dropped out at 17. And you can imagine I
23:32fought so hard to get into that college.
23:34And so to drop out wasn't like I can't
23:37be bothered. It was that I couldn't
23:39continue. I couldn't make ends meet. I
23:41couldn't figure out the train fair. I
23:43couldn't figure out how I would eat,
23:46how, you know, the the couple of days a
23:48week that I had to work because you're
23:50in college four days and then I was
23:51working every day. I just couldn't make
23:53it work. The math wasn't mathing as we
23:56would say now. And so it was a bit of
23:58disappointment. But what was interesting
24:01is that actually that's when my life
24:02started to fall into place because for
24:04me I was like okay, how do I keep
24:06learning? How do I keep close to the
24:08dream? And in those days, you could go
24:10around and find work placements. And so
24:13I thought to myself, I'll just work for
24:15free. I'll get as close as I can to the
24:18career that I think I want. And I went
24:20from, you know, PR agency to design a
24:23showroom, like from one terrible bottom
24:27of the barrel job to another. And um,
24:30you know, Mel, I would do everything I
24:33could to get these work placements. like
24:35I was sending, you know, because again
24:37in those days there wasn't email so it
24:39was just sending letters out and nobody
24:41was responding to my letters and so I
24:43started handd delivering letters cuz I
24:45was like maybe they're just not getting
24:46them.
24:49>> It was kind of ridiculous and every now
24:51and again there would be a break.
24:52>> Kind of brilliant actually.
24:54>> I mean you know for me it was just
24:55tenacity and I couldn't even imagine
24:58that it was because of me you know I
25:00never took it personally. I didn't think
25:02I'm not good enough. I didn't think, you
25:04know, I'm not worthy. I thought they
25:07didn't get the letter because I'm so
25:09good and I have so much to offer and I'm
25:11going to work so hard. They just must
25:14not know yet. And so I just kept going
25:16and going and going and going until
25:18somebody said, "Yes, okay." Like, "Come
25:20in. You can work here for free for a
25:22couple of weeks." And for somebody who's
25:24listening who's like, "I need that. I
25:26need that tenacity because I send an
25:28email and then I sit back and then I
25:30think something's wrong with me. It's
25:32never about you, Mel. It's never ever
25:34about you. And this is the big thing
25:36that I want specifically women to
25:38understand.
25:40We are have become as a as a group
25:43obsessed with this idea of perfection
25:46that it always has to be perfect that it
25:49always has to be as it is in the movies
25:52and that is just not it's not my
25:54experience. My whole journey has not
25:58been linear. It has been, you know, one
26:00great thing happened and then like
26:02nothing, like literally nothing. In
26:05fact, sometimes it just went down. But
26:07you cannot take it personally because
26:09it's never about you. You know, you can
26:12fail and it's just the thing that thing
26:15didn't work out. It is not that you
26:17don't work. It is not that you have
26:19something wrong with you. So for me, I
26:22would just like dust myself off. I'll be
26:23like, "That wasn't my moment. That
26:25wasn't for me. It's not my time." And
26:26just keep going. Well, I would also
26:29imagine that if you're also feeling the
26:32pressure
26:33>> of buying food and paying rent, you also
26:37don't have a choice. Like there's a
26:39certain level of stress that you feel
26:43>> if you cannot make the ends meet or you
26:45barely do because you can't stop.
26:48>> You have no choice.
26:48>> You have no choice.
26:49>> You have no choice. And so one thing I
26:51wanted to ask you because
26:54what you said about excellence was
26:57mind-blowing
27:00and 1,000% accurate. How do you pursue
27:04excellence
27:06versus the trap of being perfect? Like
27:09what's the difference between excellence
27:11and that perfectionism trap that women
27:14get stuck in?
27:15>> That is such a beautiful question. I
27:17think that you have to learn and this is
27:20going to sound and I don't want it to
27:21sound self-limiting. We all have
27:25a different measuring stick, right?
27:27>> Yeah.
27:27>> What is perfect to you is not perfect to
27:29me.
27:30>> And I think that we have to be realistic
27:32with ourselves.
27:34>> And so what I've done in my life is
27:36really think about myself.
27:39>> I'm not thinking I'm not looking in the
27:42media. I'm not on social. I'm not in a
27:44magazine trying to live up to that
27:47version. I'm like, what is my version of
27:50excellence based on where I come from
27:52and who I am? What's good enough for me?
27:56Cuz I'm not comparing myself to anyone
27:58else. You know, you and I both love that
28:01same quote, right? It's like it's you
28:02against you. That's it. And that's where
28:05you have to be very, very honest and
28:07very self-reflective because if you are
28:09going to be in the comparison game, you
28:11will never be satisfied. you will never
28:14be happy.
28:14>> Okay, I think I just got it. I want to
28:17extract what you just said and give it
28:19back to you and see if we if you if I
28:22heard you correctly cuz I think I just
28:24got the difference. You ready? So,
28:27perfectionism
28:29is when you are focused on the outside.
28:33Perfectionism is when you are measuring
28:37what other people are going to think
28:40about what you just did. Excellence is
28:42on the inside because excellence is
28:44about the effort in and whether or not
28:47the effort that you put in is good
28:51enough for you.
28:53That right there, ma'am, that's really a
28:57great distinction. I've never thought
28:58about it that way cuz I' I've always
29:00thought about like perfectionism because
29:02so many women in particular struggle
29:03with it as something that you're doing
29:05internally.
29:06>> No, it's it all it's coming at you.
29:09>> Yes. from every angle all the time. And
29:12you have to be very very careful as a
29:14woman that that doesn't start to define
29:17you, that that doesn't seep into you,
29:20right? Because the minute that goes
29:22inside you, you're in trouble. And you
29:24know, I have this great friend Diane
29:26Vonenberg. She's the most insane and
29:29incredible woman ever. But she talks
29:31about this idea of the most important
29:33relationship you'll ever have is the
29:35relationship you have with yourself. And
29:37so you got to be real careful that your
29:40biggest enemy isn't living between your
29:42two ears, right? It's like this
29:45conversation that goes on all day that's
29:48relentless. Has to be kind. It has to be
29:51compassionate. It has to be empathetic.
29:54These are all things that we give away
29:55to other people if you're a good person
29:58all the time. But it starts with you.
30:00You have to give that stuff to yourself
30:03first and foremost. And when you start
30:05to do that and when you start a daily
30:07practice that says I am going to behave
30:09like this to myself when I speak to
30:11myself this is how I'm going to be that
30:15rewires you.
30:16>> Well even talking to yourself that way
30:17is in itself its own form of excellence.
30:20>> Yes.
30:20>> Right. Because you operate that way in
30:22the world that level of excellence with
30:25other people. And so it's a beautiful
30:28way to think about talking to yourself
30:30in a kind and cheering and empathetic
30:32way is a form of excellence with
30:35yourself. I love that. What would you
30:37say to somebody that is kind of at the
30:39beginning of the journey in their career
30:42right now trying to figure it out?
30:45>> You know, Mel, honestly, what I would
30:46say is that everything you want is on
30:50the other side of what you're working
30:52towards. You just got to be working
30:56It's all there. Everything you want is
30:58there. It's just got to find you working
31:01and that's it. You can't think your way
31:05into what you want. You can't wish it.
31:09You can't hope for it. You got to do.
31:12And that's where this perfectionist trap
31:14is poisonous for us because if you think
31:17that you have to do it perfectly or it
31:19has to come in some, you know,
31:21spectacular way or this thing that you
31:23want to do has to be really big, it
31:24doesn't.
31:25It's like just start just do something
31:28and know that if you are doing if you
31:31have forward momentum if you are moving
31:34in the correct direction of travel you
31:36will get there but you have to be moving
31:38>> and what about if you don't know if
31:40you're in the right direction like I'm
31:42I'm
31:42>> then you just go because I never knew I
31:45never knew and the fact is sometimes I
31:48wasn't going in the right direction
31:50but at least I was going somewhere
31:52because what happens is you pick up all
31:54this information along the way if you're
31:56smart and when you make mistakes again
31:59it comes back to that idea of like how
32:02am I speaking to myself because if
32:03you're if you treat yourself like a good
32:05friend
32:06>> imagine that your friend messes up right
32:08she messes up you don't go you absolute
32:10silly cow you go darling let's talk
32:13about this what happened I love you
32:15anyway let's go through it where were
32:17the mistakes how are we going to do
32:18things differently next time that's what
32:20you have to do for yourself so know that
32:22that is inevitable And you know I've
32:25kind of trained myself around this rule
32:26of thirds that I have in my head and
32:29that has really really really helped me
32:31to rule. So the rule of thirds is
32:34something that I remember hearing this
32:35when I was a bit younger and it's like I
32:37almost live by it. So if you are doing
32:40something difficult, if you're chasing a
32:42dream, if you are on the road to
32:45whatever it is, you are going to be
32:48happy about a third of the time. And the
32:51other third of the time you are going to
32:53be like h you know life is kind of all
32:56right and the final third of the time
32:59you're going to feel terrible now
33:00>> it sounds like a marriage
33:01>> you're going basically it can be applied
33:04to marriage too but you know the point
33:06is that we shouldn't feel good all the
33:09time
33:10>> right it's just part of how we're
33:14conditioned right now to imagine that
33:16like life is this like you know
33:18Instagram reel of wonderfulness and that
33:21ain't the truth. So, if you can learn to
33:24accept, do you know what? On those
33:26really bad days when you feel really
33:28crappy, you're like, that's okay. In
33:30fact, I'm exactly where I need to be
33:32because I'm going to have those days and
33:33I'm going to have some of the middling
33:35days and then I'm going to have these
33:36great days. And so, if you go off track,
33:39that's all right cuz you have to know
33:40that you can come back. And when you're
33:43on fire, you also better be real humble
33:45cuz you're going to know that those
33:46stinky times are coming, too. So, it's a
33:49really lovely way to keep yourself in
33:51balance. And I think about it probably
33:53daily. A third and a third and a third.
33:56>> The rule of thirds. I love it. Now, I'm
33:57going to think about it daily. And I
33:59know that the person that is listening
34:00is going to think about it daily. And
34:03share that rule of third with the people
34:05that they care about because it is true
34:07that when you're going through the
34:08crappy part, you think this is going to
34:10be that way forever.
34:11>> Yes.
34:12>> And yeah, we all hear, "Oh, it's
34:13temporary." But I love a rule.
34:16>> Yeah. I love a rule. I love
34:18>> a lava roll.
34:19>> A lava roll.
34:20>> And so I love being able to say to
34:22myself even though it's been a crappy
34:25decade.
34:26>> This is just a third of a third. Like
34:30it's it's just onethird of what I'm
34:32going to experience.
34:33>> I love that you say a decade because
34:35people tend to overestimate what they
34:39can do in a year and underestimate what
34:42can actually happen in a decade. I have
34:44been in America for eight years this
34:47July 4th and I'm a different Emma,
34:50right? Like that eight years didn't just
34:53happen in 8 years. It happened the 30
34:56years before the 40 years almost before,
34:59right? So we have to think about like
35:01what it actually takes and time and I
35:04feel like as a young person you can be
35:06in such a rush. It's like don't be in a
35:09rush. Life is long. Life happens in
35:12chapters. And so as a young person, all
35:14you need to say to yourself is, I am
35:17willing to work and I'm willing to
35:18accept the direction of travel and it
35:21will be going forward some of the time
35:23and it will be standing on a spot some
35:25of the time and it will be going
35:26backwards some of the other time and all
35:28of it is fine.
35:29>> Could you speak to the pressure that
35:33people feel when they're young to just
35:37jam it all in? Like one of the things
35:39that I see from especially people in
35:41their 20s and early 30s is that I got to
35:43do it all. I got to travel. I got to do
35:45this. I got to find the person. I gotta
35:46figure out my dream career.
35:48>> Yeah.
35:49>> And I love that you're saying when you
35:51are young just slow down.
35:55>> Well, let me tell you what I really
35:57believe works. Tell me.
36:00We are in too much of a rush. Having
36:03said that, your 20s is the time to try
36:06some stuff. And that is what I really
36:08believe in. I could look at all of my
36:10friends now. Got a couple of them in
36:13front of me. And I could draw a line
36:16down the middle of those that are
36:18successful now in their 40s and what
36:21they did in their 20s. Did they did they
36:24like go for it? Did they take a bunch of
36:27risks? Did they work really hard? Did
36:28they try a bunch of stuff? and those
36:31that perhaps, you know, kept the
36:32partying going maybe a little too long.
36:35When you don't have responsibility,
36:37right, most of us have children a little
36:40bit later now. You don't take on
36:41responsibilities in terms of financial
36:43responsibilities like a mortgage until a
36:45little bit later now. Your 20s are the
36:47time to try. And I remember a lot of
36:49people saying to me in my 20s, like, you
36:51work too hard. You need to have more
36:54fun. The truth is, if I didn't do the
36:5720s I did, I wouldn't be where I am now.
37:00>> Yes. And so you've got to try a few
37:02things. And again, don't think that
37:03they're all going to work out, but there
37:05is a time in your life where it makes
37:07sense to put a few bets out there, to
37:10throw a few things at the wall, to like
37:13go outside of your comfort zone. Like
37:15that is the moment. That's the decade
37:17because you're going to spend your 30s
37:19like figuring it out like what do I
37:21actually want to do and putting in the
37:22hard work. And then hopefully by the
37:24time that you get to your 40s, you've
37:26become proficient at something and you
37:27can start to choose your choice. But in
37:29my experience, not before that.
37:30>> Well, what's interesting is I'm sitting
37:32here looking at you and you're 42 and
37:34I'm thinking, "God, at 42,
37:36I was $800,000 in debt. I had leans on
37:40the house, my husband's restaurant
37:42business was going over. I was
37:44unemployed, three kids under 10, about
37:46to lose." Like, that's when my life fell
37:48apart.
37:49>> And look at you now.
37:50>> No So, it took some time.
37:54>> Yeah. Take takes some time. And one of
37:55the other things I want to point out
37:57though is you're 42 and when you drop
38:01out of college, that's 25 years ago. And
38:06I want to remind you as you're listening
38:09and watching that you also said in the
38:12very beginning, I've only really enjoyed
38:14what I'm doing for the last 5 years.
38:16Facts. And it's really important because
38:19we don't talk about it enough that it
38:24isn't going to be fun.
38:26>> It isn't going to be a party the whole
38:28time. You are not going to feel like you
38:30are pursuing your passion as you are on
38:31the journey and figuring it out. And one
38:35of the things that also is interesting
38:37about your career though is it took you
38:3910 years
38:42between that moment where you dropped
38:44out and you're hustling and you're
38:45trying to find anybody that will let you
38:47just be somewhat near fashion for free
38:51>> for free
38:51>> doing anything so you can be close to
38:53the thing that you want. Would you speak
38:57to that moment where you feel like, oh
39:02my god, like I've been at this for a
39:04while and I'm just not getting traction
39:06and the job that I have is paying the
39:08bills. Grateful to be able to pay my
39:10bills. Like I'm not going to like diss
39:12the job that's paying the bills, but
39:14it's not aligned with where I thought I
39:18would be.
39:19>> How do you stay motivated? How do you
39:22keep the dream alive when the first
39:25things that you're doing don't really
39:28feel like they're going anywhere?
39:29>> Yeah. And let's be honest, we all have
39:31those times. I had a lot of jobs like
39:34that. I really, really did. And what
39:36I've always tried to do is find maybe
39:40make up a little bit in my head, but
39:42I've tried to find the glimmers, right?
39:45Like where is something in here useful?
39:50So, you're working, you know, like an
39:53office job with some kind of clerical
39:55role. You are learning to be organized.
39:58You are learning what it takes to be the
40:01back office support. You are looking at
40:04everything that's happening around you.
40:06And let me tell you, Mel, and I know
40:08this for sure, the fact that I have done
40:12all the bad jobs, the fact that I have
40:15been there is what makes me a great
40:17leader. Because today, not only can I
40:20appreciate every single person around
40:24me, I've done those jobs. I know not
40:27just what it takes, but I know how it
40:29feels. And my staff know that I know how
40:32it feels. And there is a different
40:34appreciation level for somebody who
40:36comes into leadership having done all of
40:38the things. And so, not only do I look
40:41for those glimmers and tell somebody
40:43that, you know, this job that you're
40:45doing that feels pretty mundane isn't
40:47because there is value in all work, you
40:49just have to find that and you take
40:51small pieces. And I think about my
40:53experience now as it's a collective of
40:56all the things that I've learned. I
40:58learned customer service when I was
41:00making the sandwiches. And when I was
41:01delivering the papers, I learned the
41:03power of the mornings. And when I worked
41:04in the closet at the fashion company, I
41:07learned how to do a really horrible job
41:10with a smile on my face. Just put it on.
41:13And it's like all of those little pieces
41:16will take you somewhere. And you have to
41:18keep in your head and tell yourself,
41:21life is long
41:22>> and whatever I'm doing, it all adds up
41:25to something. You know, just like all
41:27your relationship experiences. And it
41:28can feel hard when you're in them, but
41:30you can look back and say, "There was a
41:32reason that thing happened." But you've
41:34got to understand, hindsight isn't just
41:35a fine thing. It's the thing. It's what
41:38makes us who we are eventually. So,
41:40you've just got to keep that in the
41:41front of your mind that this is leading
41:43somewhere.
41:44>> Everything is leading somewhere.
41:46Everything. All parts of it.
41:48>> Absolutely. You know, you started
41:50pushing on doors early. I mean, you
41:51literally would just walk right into
41:56the room and many rooms where you
41:58probably felt like you didn't belong.
42:01>> What gave you the confidence
42:04to stay when you would get into a room
42:06where you're like, I'm not sure I belong
42:09here or I'm not sure this is going to
42:11work. The way I was raised was really
42:14interesting because confidence has never
42:15really been my problem. I was raised by,
42:18you know, my wonderful mom and she
42:21taught me, you know, she was like,
42:22"Emma, you're not better than anybody
42:24else, but nor is anyone better than
42:26you."
42:27>> And that stayed with me. And so when I
42:29walk into a room now then,
42:32>> even though with my terrible education,
42:35leaving school before I should, even
42:37though I'm highly dyslexic, I know my
42:40gifts. I know my strengths. And I know
42:43that whatever it is that any of us has
42:45to bring is valuable. There is value in
42:48all of us. And so again, you have to
42:51really like anchor into that piece of
42:54you. Like you have to you have to
42:56believe that you have something special,
42:59unique, and even if it's not special and
43:01unique, it's what you have to bring. So
43:03make the most of it.
43:04>> Figure it out. Figure it out. package it
43:07up and go in with some confidence that
43:10at least there's just not another you,
43:12right? There's not another you in that
43:13room. So, whatever you are bringing into
43:16that space is something that's not there
43:18because there isn't another you. And you
43:20have to think deeply and carefully about
43:22what those things are and what you add
43:24to an organization. And I've done all of
43:26that. But in the beginning, you've just
43:27got to believe that you have something
43:30unique to bring. Well, you also touched
43:32on this earlier about excellence and how
43:35when you operate with a level of
43:36excellence, even if it's managing the
43:38energy at the crappy job you can't
43:40stand,
43:41>> people are drawn to it.
43:43>> Yes.
43:44>> Drawn to it.
43:45>> They really are.
43:45>> Do you have any advice for
43:48how you can get yourself into a room?
43:52You know what I mean? Like there's a lot
43:54of people that are aspiring to launch a
43:56business or raise some money or
43:59>> uh just put their art out there or be
44:02noticed or get the interview. Is there
44:04something some move that you can make or
44:07some way that you have found or maybe an
44:10example of somebody that got your
44:12attention about how you get into a room
44:14because you were literally like I just
44:15want to be adjacent to whatever I'm
44:17going to knock on that door. I'm not and
44:18>> Yeah. I mean, the first thing, Mel, is
44:20you got to get out of your own head. Cuz
44:22I speak to a lot of people like, I've
44:23been trying this thing and I've been
44:25like thinking about this for a long
44:26time. It's like, what did you do? Like,
44:29what did you do? Did you call the store?
44:31You want to sell your thing in the
44:32store? Do you call them or do you just
44:34hoping for somebody to notice you? Did
44:36you like you want to be an artist? Like,
44:38are you making art? Are you putting your
44:39work out there? Again, like nobody is
44:42like looking for you. No one. So you
44:45again have to take responsibility and
44:48start like get out of the starting
44:50blocks and go and do something. And
44:52again it comes down to this idea of
44:54fearing what is on the other side. Fear
44:58of rejection, fear of being told no,
45:00fear that it won't work. So you got to
45:02get past that point and know that that's
45:05all there and that may well happen, but
45:08that's okay too. And I honestly think
45:10that the big uh the the big block that
45:14people have is getting started.
45:17>> Feeling so vulnerable that they can't
45:20even start. You can't write a business
45:23plan and then file that business plan
45:27>> and then go, I'm going to I'm going to
45:29start this business because I've got a
45:31plan. It's like what's in the plan?
45:33You've got to go. You got to get the
45:35thing made. You have to write the email.
45:37You have to ask the question and you
45:39cannot network your way into starting.
45:43That doesn't work. People right now
45:45always say to me, you know, I wish I was
45:47invited to this networking event. It's
45:49like that's not the thing. A network is
45:52a tool, a way of getting things done.
45:55The things that make the difference
45:56between starting and not starting is
45:58never really what you think. It's never
45:59the people that you think. When I look
46:02at my business and my life and think who
46:04are the people that have made the
46:07biggest differences, I go back. It's
46:09like I didn't know anyone that was going
46:11to give me money to start a business. I
46:13went to my clients to people that I
46:16worked with and explained like I am
46:18going to start this thing and I'm going
46:20to need some capital to do it. When I
46:22needed advice and a mentor, I didn't
46:25know anyone who like had a business in
46:27East London, like not a legit or legal
46:29one anyway. you know, it was like,
46:31"Okay, guys, like we that's not the type
46:32of business advice I need." So, again, I
46:34went to clients and at the end of
46:36pitching the marketing campaign I was
46:38there, I would just ask a couple of
46:40questions. Like, you got to take your
46:41chance, shoot your shot. Don't walk
46:43around looking for a mentor. Walk around
46:45asking questions. That's what you have
46:47to do. And you have to realize that your
46:49network will never be what you think it
46:51is. It will be the factory, the vendors,
46:54your bank uh relationship, your lawyer,
46:57like that is your network. So work with
47:00whatever you've got. Stop looking at
47:02what you don't have and look at what you
47:04do have and make that the network. But
47:07you have to start. You've got to start
47:09somewhere.
47:10>> You know, I keep thinking about the fact
47:11that it is so easy to talk. It's so easy
47:14to make a plan. It's so easy to, you
47:17know, network with people.
47:20>> But the real differentiator is what can
47:23you show me that you've done? If if
47:25somebody if you can't take out your
47:28phone and show someone a photograph of
47:31the thing that you did, you haven't done
47:33anything.
47:34>> Yes. You said ask questions. Are there
47:36questions that are better than others?
47:39>> There are questions that are better than
47:41others. And I also think that what
47:42happens with a lot of founders is that
47:45they get obsessed with their idea. They
47:48get obsessed with their individual
47:51thing. And often I will be in a
47:54situation, somebody is pitching an idea
47:56or trying to get advice from me and I
48:00will ask about their space, the
48:03competition, their market, and they
48:05don't know anything. So when you start
48:08something, it's not just about the thing
48:10that you're doing. You have to be
48:12obsessed with everything else that is
48:16adjacent with your entire category.
48:18Obsess the price. Obsess the
48:20distribution. Obsess every single part
48:24and every dynamic of that thing because
48:26that's what that's what counts. You're
48:28bringing your thing into that space. And
48:31so that becomes the barrier between what
48:35you're starting with and where that
48:36thing is going to go. You've got to be
48:39really open to what's happening around
48:41you because that is the truth of
48:43business. You are in a fight from day
48:46one. You open your doors, you start your
48:48website, it's like it's a fight. It's a
48:50fight for attention. It's a fight for
48:52that customer. And you need to be
48:54willing and have a real understanding of
48:57what problem you're solving for and what
49:00it is that you bring uniquely. And that
49:02means an understanding of everything
49:04else that is around you.
49:06>> What was the first thing that you
49:07started?
49:07>> So the first thing to say is I always
49:09had a job. From 12, I've had a job. I
49:11delivered the papers. I did the
49:12babysitting. It's like I worked in the
49:13Delhi. I worked in a million different
49:15clothes shops. It's like I've been
49:17working forever and ever and ever. And
49:19so it's like I drop out of college um
49:22and I landed in this strange year of
49:25just work placement. So I just went from
49:28place to place to place essentially
49:29figuring out what I didn't want to do
49:31but getting closer to the idea of like
49:33what is the fashion business? How does
49:34it work? I landed in a fashion show
49:36production company. Sounds glamorous.
49:38Absolutely was not. You're building the
49:40catwalk shows. So, you know, a designer
49:42has this like grand idea of what it is
49:43that they want to do, and you have to
49:46build it. The show goes up. You spend
49:48three months planning it. The show goes
49:50up and down in 10 minutes. You don't see
49:52it cuz you're backstage. Everybody goes
49:54off to a party that you're not invited
49:56to. And you have to deigg.
50:00That was my life for 5 years. But in
50:02that, I met everybody. I understood what
50:05the business of fashion was, why we were
50:06putting on the shows, and I knew
50:08everybody. And so I essentially took the
50:11what I had created there, which was just
50:14my reputation as being someone who
50:17understood fashion and loved fashion.
50:19And I started doing deals for fashion
50:23designers with brands. So everybody had
50:25this grand idea of what show they wanted
50:27to put on, but no budget because they
50:28weren't really making sales. And so I
50:30would do brand partnerships between
50:32designers and brands. And I created an
50:34agency eventually after like you know
50:37one deal here, one deal there, a little
50:39commission there, a little commission
50:40there. Um I became like the girl that
50:43did this in London and I started an
50:45agency when I was 24. The agency I was
50:47in for 10 years. I grew it. I had an
50:50office in London, an office in New York,
50:51an office in LA, closed the office in
50:53LA. Grew, grew, grew and I essentially
50:55built this agency group that started
50:58acquiring rights, licensing rights and
51:01brand rights. We did product placement
51:03in movies. We put celebrities into
51:05campaign.
51:06>> So if I don't understand what that
51:07means.
51:07>> Yes.
51:08>> What what does that mean that you do
51:12brand?
51:13>> So So we So my agency was an
51:15entertainment marketing agency. So we
51:18represented a brand's interests in the
51:20world of entertainment. So my client
51:23could be let's call it Mercedes-Benz and
51:26Mercedes-Benz want to put that car into
51:28a movie or they would like to have
51:30Claudia Schiffer in their campaign or
51:33they would like to do a partnership with
51:34a fashion designer and have the
51:36interiors of the car looking all
51:37gorgeous. I was the girl representing
51:39the brands making those marketing deals
51:41happen. I want to make sure that as
51:43you're listening or watching right now,
51:45you actually got a couple really key
51:49takeaways and pieces of advice that are
51:52buried in the story so far.
51:54>> So,
51:55you have this vision. You know what you
51:58want to do. You want to be in fashion.
52:00And so, you do everything you can to get
52:03yourself in as close a proximity as you
52:07can to the thing that you're interested
52:08in. So, you're volunteering first. You
52:10ultimately end up with this crappy job.
52:12>> Crappy job.
52:13>> Crappy job. But you are in the industry.
52:16>> I'm in the mix.
52:16>> You're in the mix. So, number one, I
52:19don't care if you don't know what you
52:20want to do. Get a damn job.
52:22>> And you said for an entire year you did
52:24everything you could in these jobs you
52:26did for free. But you also were working
52:28and making money in deli and everything
52:30else.
52:30>> Seven days a week. I worked in the clove
52:32shop and then I would work doing my work
52:34experience. I was exhausted. But here's
52:36something you said that I want to make
52:38sure that that as you're listening, you
52:39do not miss. Every single crappy job
52:43that you hated actually told you what
52:46you didn't want to do. So everything
52:48you're doing right now that you don't
52:51like is so important because it's
52:54getting you closer to understanding what
52:57you do like.
52:58>> Exactly.
52:59>> And that's really important. And I also
53:01love the fact that you kept yourself
53:03super busy. The more crappy jobs you
53:05have, the faster you're going to figure
53:07out what you're actually good at and
53:08what you like.
53:09>> Oh, and Mel, this is a key point cuz
53:10people ask me all the time, like, "How
53:13do I figure out what I'm good at?" Cuz
53:15I'm like, "What you need to do is lean
53:18in to where you're good." I don't know
53:19what I'm good at. It's very, very
53:21simple. If it gives you energy, you are
53:24good at it. If it takes your energy away
53:27and you feel exhausted and depleted,
53:29that's what you're bad at. Make it
53:31simple. So for me in negotiations, in
53:34like contract negotiations, I am on
53:37fire. Even the bad ones, I am on fire.
53:40That's what I'm good at. You give me an
53:42Excel sheet with a bunch of numbers,
53:44it's like, "Kill me now. Kill me now.
53:46That's what I'm not so good at."
53:48>> So you really start to understand, and
53:50it's in that understanding of yourself
53:52that you get closer and closer to where
53:54you need to be and figuring out what
53:56you're good at. You don't try to chase a
53:58passion. You don't try to find like what
54:01am I supposed to be doing like what is
54:03my purpose? No, no, no. Lean in to what
54:05you are good at. I am an excellent
54:08negotiator and that's where I I've ended
54:10up where I am today. That's it. The
54:13second thing that I want to extract from
54:15that story is that in that job of
54:18assembling catwalks and like being
54:21treated like garbage and not being part
54:23of the fun stuff, your network appeared
54:27>> and it wasn't who you thought it was
54:29going to be.
54:30>> Not in the slightest.
54:31>> Not in the slightest. And so it's in the
54:33doing of all the stuff and keeping
54:35yourself busy because if you don't keep
54:36yourself busy, you're going to get stuck
54:38in your head. That's how you get
54:40started. just get a bunch of jobs and
54:41you're going to start to figure it out.
54:43But the network appears and then all of
54:45a sudden you realize, wait a minute,
54:47>> like they're not making money. So maybe
54:50I could get like a little brand involved
54:53like Parker Mercedes out front and they
54:55would pay to do that and I have a buddy
54:58who works at the dealership down there.
55:00So it doesn't start with the corporate
55:02brand, it starts with the local thing
55:03cuz that's your network.
55:04>> And it didn't start with the fashion
55:06brands in my head. I was like, I'm going
55:08to work in fashion. Remember, I didn't
55:10have any fashion clients for the first
55:11two years.
55:12>> I had a bunch of corporate brands
55:14because my contacts when you work in
55:16production, it wasn't the PRs and the
55:19models and the designers. My contacts
55:21were the lighting designers and the
55:22riggers and the people that built the
55:24stage. And they're like, well, you know,
55:25I know the CMO over at, you know, Volvo.
55:28I was like, great. Well, give me her
55:29number then. You know, so it's like you
55:32just have to go where the energy is and
55:34you take whatever you can take and you
55:36just keep your eyes on the prize because
55:38you can pivot. When you have choices,
55:40you can pivot. And when you don't have
55:42choices, you do whatever is in front of
55:44you.
55:45>> You're now 34 years old. You've been
55:47like running this incredible agency,
55:50wheeling and dealing and negotiating and
55:52like having all this not having fun yet
55:54because it's only the last 5 years that
55:56you really love what you're doing. and
55:58you have this idea and you end up in a
56:02room with Chris Jenner
56:04>> and what happened?
56:06>> Well, you know, I think the important
56:07thing for people to understand is that I
56:09had spent 10 years building my career at
56:12the intersection of brands and fashion.
56:14>> And so I had a fantastic understanding
56:18of what works in fashion and where the
56:20whites space was. I really understood
56:22what was missing. So, so when I talk
56:25about white space, it's where the
56:26opportunity is. What wasn't out there?
56:29Where was there a problem that I could
56:31find a solution for? And Good American
56:32was a solution. It was that, you know,
56:36most women are massively underserved by
56:38the fashion industry. 68% of women in
56:42America are above a size 16. And yet,
56:44when you go into a mall, there's maybe
56:46two or three shops out of the hundreds
56:48of stores that will actually cater to
56:51that size. Now we're going back 10 years
56:53ago, right? When I first had this idea.
56:55So the landscape had shifted a bit
56:57largely because Good American has
56:58impacted it. But back then there were
57:00very very few options and all the
57:02options quite honestly were bad. They
57:04were ugly. And I had come from a place
57:06you know in East London all my family
57:08are big curvy women and they have
57:11confidence and they feel good about
57:12themselves. And especially you know you
57:14think about black culture it's like the
57:16bigger the butt the better. And so we
57:18were very much my idea of beauty was
57:21much much broader than what was being
57:23shown in the media. And so I had this
57:26idea and I just decided I was like I'm
57:29going to do this. I have spent the last
57:3210 years building value for all of my
57:35clients. And I was very well renumerated
57:37and I had a fantastic business and I
57:39managed to sell that first business. But
57:42I wanted to do something that was for
57:43myself that I owned and that I could
57:46feel very proud of and start a brand
57:47instead of helping all of these other
57:49brands.
57:50>> And so what happened is I had seen how
57:54celebrity endorsement can really
57:56accelerate a brand because 10 years
57:58working on all of those campaigns, you
58:00know, Natalie Portman for Dior or
58:02putting people in L'Oreal commercials or
58:04whatever it was I was doing, I
58:05understood how that worked. I understood
58:07that talent was a key to unlocking an
58:09audience. And so I was like, great, I'm
58:11going to start this brand. I'm going to
58:13fill the white space, do something that
58:15isn't out there, and I'm going to couple
58:16it with the talent to make it explode.
58:19And so I pitched Chris and Chloe. Um,
58:23now feels like a legendary meeting. At
58:24the time, honestly, it didn't feel like
58:27a legendary meeting to me. At the time,
58:30I really knew that I had something
58:32special and I had spent a long time
58:36figuring out why this was going to be so
58:38successful. And you know, if I go back 8
58:42years now, Good American was a complete
58:46trailblazer. There was nothing like it.
58:49There was a reason that we did a million
58:51dollars on day one. And it wasn't
58:52because people were like, "Oh, you know,
58:54this sounds like a good idea." It's
58:56because they could feel the difference.
58:58They understood that we saw them.
59:01>> They felt seen. They felt heard. And
59:04they felt represented. And it was a
59:06magical moment in my career because it
59:08was an idea that I'd come up with. It
59:11was an idea that didn't exist that I'd
59:13started from scratch and it was
59:15resonating. It was working. And then I
59:18realized I know nothing. I know nothing
59:20about running an apparel company. All of
59:22my agency experience and opening offices
59:25all over the world meant nothing because
59:27I was in the garmentto business and I
59:29was not a garmentto. I knew nothing
59:31about making clothes. And so it was
59:33like, you know, I had this on the
59:35outside this huge success that was
59:38getting so much press and so much
59:40attention and growing on social and yet
59:42I had no idea how to run that business.
59:45>> I want to go back to this meeting and
59:48the idea.
59:49>> So the idea was
59:52to how did you frame the idea eight
59:55years ago because it it was absolutely a
59:59trailblazer. So, you've got this whites
1:00:01space idea that isn't this is not like
1:00:04everybody's got that uncle who's like I
1:00:05thought Uber like Uh-huh.
1:00:09Okay. Sure.
1:00:10>> Did you do it?
1:00:10>> But no, you you you had been building
1:00:13toward this moment.
1:00:14>> Yes.
1:00:15>> For well over a decade. And so you not
1:00:19only had an idea, you had obsessed
1:00:21around the industry, you knew that you
1:00:25were going to do this. Didn't matter if
1:00:27Chris Jenner and Khloe or anybody said
1:00:29yes cuz you were going to do this.
1:00:31>> Oh, I was going to do it.
1:00:32>> Oh, hell yes you were. And so tell me
1:00:35though what was the pitch and pull up a
1:00:39chair and put us in the meeting in terms
1:00:41of how that meeting went.
1:00:45>> So you have to imagine that for the 10
1:00:47years previously I had been in practice,
1:00:51>> right? I'd pitched the world's biggest
1:00:53CMOs. I'd put the biggest celebrities in
1:00:55the world in the biggest campaigns in
1:00:57the world. I had been on set with the
1:01:00most famous men and women on the planet.
1:01:03And I had won awards in my agency. I was
1:01:08a trailblazer in that business of
1:01:11celebrity, fashion, entertainment. My
1:01:14agency was the best agency doing what it
1:01:16did. And so in a way, Mel, when I got
1:01:20into that meeting, I thought I had a
1:01:22gift in my hand and I was ready and
1:01:25willing to share my gift because I knew
1:01:28I had an idea that was golden.
1:01:31>> And I really approached that meeting
1:01:34saying, "Hey, I have this golden
1:01:37brilliant thing that I have researched
1:01:39and I understand and I'd gone out and
1:01:41made, you know, I had a pair of jeans
1:01:44and this is going to be the next big
1:01:46thing." in fashion. And so my mindset
1:01:49was that this is done. I am launching
1:01:52this thing. It comes out in October.
1:01:55Where do we go from here? And I think
1:01:58that there was something so special in
1:02:00that moment because everybody could see
1:02:02it. Everybody understood. The reason I
1:02:04was able to attract the right investors
1:02:06and the right partners and the right
1:02:08retailers is because the idea and the
1:02:12execution and what led up to it was so
1:02:15incredibly special. I had done my
1:02:17homework. I knew the difference between
1:02:19me and everybody else. I had obsessed
1:02:21the price point. I could tell you the
1:02:23price of every single pair of jeans that
1:02:25sat on the Nordstrom denim floor. And I
1:02:27could tell you what the content of those
1:02:30jeans were. And I could tell you how my
1:02:32jeans were made differently and why when
1:02:34a woman put them on, she felt a certain
1:02:36way in them because I was obsessed.
1:02:40Obsessed beyond anything that would be
1:02:42reasonable. Because in my head, I had to
1:02:45succeed at something that was mine.
1:02:48Because when you spend your life as a
1:02:50consultant making everybody else look
1:02:52good and being the person behind the
1:02:54scenes and not taking credit for it,
1:02:56there's only so much of that that an ego
1:02:59like mine can take. Quite honestly, I
1:03:01was like, "Wow, look at that campaign.
1:03:03That's their idea again, you know, that
1:03:05I came up with." And so for me, I was
1:03:07ready to take credit and to do something
1:03:10that meant something to a group of women
1:03:12that I admired, that I felt
1:03:15>> had been overlooked. and the love that I
1:03:18got back. Mel, I cannot tell. The best
1:03:19thing about Good American wasn't the
1:03:21milliondoll first day. Wasn't that you
1:03:24know, all the praise we got, it's the
1:03:26women on the streets, the women that
1:03:29would stop me, you know, I would go into
1:03:31Nordstrom and people cuz I used to, you
1:03:33know, I was like, I'm going to work in
1:03:34Nordstrom, going to just hang around
1:03:36until a customer comes and I'd be like,
1:03:38have you seen this brand, Good American?
1:03:39And they be, oh my god, I just bought a
1:03:40pair of Good American. I'm back to buy
1:03:42my second pair, my third pair. You know,
1:03:44it was feverish. And I could tell from
1:03:47all the feedback that I was getting that
1:03:49we had done something really, really
1:03:51special.
1:03:52>> You know what this is? It's excellence.
1:03:56>> Thank you. Thanks so much.
1:03:59>> I'm really proud of you.
1:04:00>> Thank you. You're so lovely.
1:04:02>> So, what happened next?
1:04:04>> It's a disaster, Mel.
1:04:06>> Oh my god. You know, it never feels like
1:04:10you think it's going to feel to get
1:04:13everything you've ever wanted. No, it
1:04:15was a disaster.
1:04:16>> That's what they don't tell you.
1:04:17>> That's what they don't tell you. Yeah.
1:04:19And it really, when I say it was a
1:04:20disaster, the first, you know, I will,
1:04:22if you go back to launch day, it was
1:04:24amazing actually because, you know,
1:04:25you've got your Shopify site. I was in,
1:04:27you know, my husband had an office in LA
1:04:29at that time. I was like just sitting at
1:04:30a conference table with the two people
1:04:32that I'd hired around that conference
1:04:34day, room table. And so we had the
1:04:36Shopify screen up and you can see like
1:04:38the customers are starting to come in
1:04:40and people are starting to purchase and
1:04:43everyone was like, "Emma, you're a
1:04:44genius. You're going to like have
1:04:46amazing sales today." This is like 9:00
1:04:48and I'm like, "I'm so clever." And then
1:04:5010:00 rolls around and they're like,
1:04:52"Well, you know, you're out of uh all
1:04:54the size whatevers this through this."
1:04:56And I'm like, "It's okay. You know,
1:04:57we'll replenish." And this wonderful
1:04:58woman, I will never forget, she still
1:05:00works with me to this day, Melissa
1:05:01Anderson, she says, "You do know that
1:05:03we're off calendar." And I thought, why
1:05:05is this woman talking about calendar?
1:05:07Well, that's the problem now cuz you're
1:05:10not in fashion, so you wouldn't know
1:05:11what offcal means. But I was in fashion
1:05:13and I still didn't know what offcal
1:05:15meant. And if I'd have known, I wouldn't
1:05:17have had the problems that I had. So my
1:05:19naivity kind of hit me right there cuz
1:05:21she was like, you don't have more
1:05:23inventory. If you sell through what is
1:05:25here today, it's going to take months to
1:05:28get back into stock and we are not
1:05:30holding any fabric and we don't have the
1:05:32vendors lined up. because in my head
1:05:35there is no way that you would sell
1:05:36through that much inventory. It was a
1:05:38brand new brand. It was a brand new
1:05:40idea. You know, even retailers when we
1:05:42pitched it to them didn't fully
1:05:44understand the concept of carrying all
1:05:45of those sizes. So, long story short, I
1:05:48remember everybody by about 11:00 they
1:05:51stopped celebrating me. And by 12 it was
1:05:53like, maybe you're not fit to be the CEO
1:05:56of this company. And I thought, maybe
1:05:59I'm not for about 30 seconds. And I was
1:06:01like, everybody needs to calm down. And
1:06:03at that point, it was like a lesson in
1:06:05customer service because I had started
1:06:07to disappoint people because people were
1:06:08coming on the website and they couldn't
1:06:10get their size. They couldn't get what
1:06:12they wanted. And so I started calling
1:06:15people. And at that point, of course,
1:06:16it's all email. There were no phone
1:06:18numbers. So I was like, "What is your
1:06:20phone number? Hi Sally from Michigan.
1:06:22I'm so sorry. I can get you a pair of
1:06:24jeans in about 13 weeks." And I just
1:06:28went and I went and I went and I emailed
1:06:30and I phoned and I called. And that's
1:06:32when I started to really fundamentally
1:06:34understand the business that I was in
1:06:36because I had to go backwards before I
1:06:39could go forwards. I had to figure out
1:06:40how is this juggernaut going to actually
1:06:43work and function because I don't
1:06:45understand it. What's so interesting
1:06:47about that story is you would think that
1:06:50selling out of your entire inventory on
1:06:52day one would be a great problem.
1:06:56it would be a great problem if you could
1:06:57get some more inventory in the next
1:06:59couple of weeks, but if you're out of,
1:07:01you know, again, attention span is very,
1:07:03very short. And I knew that two great
1:07:06things. Number one, the majority of my
1:07:08customers couldn't just go elsewhere,
1:07:10right? There was a there was a limit.
1:07:12But at the end of the day, there were a
1:07:13lot of women buying Good American that
1:07:16could go to any brand. And if you want
1:07:18something, you're going to go elsewhere.
1:07:20And so I had to figure out a way of
1:07:23creating community around what we was
1:07:26doing so that I could be in conversation
1:07:28with my customer.
1:07:29>> That's pretty unbelievable. So how so
1:07:32because you know it would also be pretty
1:07:34arrogant though, wouldn't it? Isn't it
1:07:36irresponsible to run a business thinking
1:07:37you're going to sell through all that
1:07:38stuff that fast and then have all that
1:07:40inventory sitting around?
1:07:41>> Well, yeah. Look, I never imagined you
1:07:42know it was expensive product. I didn't
1:07:44think people would swarm us like that.
1:07:46And you know, there's always a little
1:07:48bit of me again because of where I come
1:07:51from. I'm responsible. I treat money
1:07:54like money. To me, it's not just like a
1:07:56number on a piece of paper. I'm like,
1:07:58that's a hundred bucks right there.
1:08:00That's a lot of money to part with. And
1:08:02so, in my head, I wasn't going to do
1:08:04something irresponsible and put myself
1:08:06in a situation that I couldn't claw
1:08:08myself out of. And for me, it was about
1:08:10managing expectations and doing things
1:08:13responsibly. And also I was very very
1:08:16lucky because I had surrounded myself
1:08:18with real business people. And if you go
1:08:20back to though that kind of time it was
1:08:23all about direct to consumer businesses
1:08:25growth growth growth doing things just
1:08:27chasing a customer and I was like you
1:08:28know what I'm going to make a profitable
1:08:30business cuz that's what I understand. I
1:08:32know that money on the bottom line
1:08:34equates to optionality. Meaning that if
1:08:36you are making money, everything that
1:08:39you want to do is possible. And if you
1:08:42don't make any money, your choices are
1:08:43limited. Yes. End off. It's really basic
1:08:46math. You have to know that. And so for
1:08:48me, it was important to do something at
1:08:50a level that made sense to me, that I
1:08:52could control, and that I felt
1:08:54comfortable with. And again, I say I I I
1:08:57because it all fell on me. Again, it's
1:08:59about responsibility. I took
1:09:01responsibility for my investors money. I
1:09:04took responsibility for those customers
1:09:07and what their needs were. I took that
1:09:09responsibility extremely seriously from
1:09:11day one.
1:09:13What is kind of the biggest lesson from
1:09:16your experience
1:09:18launching Good American?
1:09:22I would say that my biggest learning
1:09:27has actually been uncovering who is
1:09:31really useful to you when you're
1:09:32building something like that.
1:09:35I don't know that coming from an agency
1:09:37background that I had
1:09:40an intricate understanding of financial
1:09:43modeling of how pivotal a relationship
1:09:46with my bank was going to be of how this
1:09:49thing called a factor which is a lending
1:09:51facility between you and your retailer
1:09:53was going to be
1:09:54>> of how those retailer relationships you
1:09:57know I was so lucky from the beginning
1:09:59that I had pitched to Pete Nordstrom and
1:10:00Pete Nordstrom got it and he was my
1:10:03champion I didn't understand how
1:10:05valuable that was. Um, and those
1:10:08relationships are what allow me to be in
1:10:10business in the way that I am with
1:10:13hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of
1:10:14millions of dollars of sales today.
1:10:16Those relationships, it weren't the
1:10:18press. It ain't the celebrities. It's
1:10:21not like it's none of that. It's none of
1:10:23the things that I was like, "Oh, this is
1:10:25none of that. It's all of the behind the
1:10:28scenes stuff. It's all of the
1:10:30foundational people and relationships
1:10:32that allow you to go where you need to
1:10:35go.
1:10:36>> It's the unsexy stuff. It's it's it's
1:10:38honestly goes all the way back to you
1:10:39working at that crappy job building
1:10:41catwalks because it was all the people
1:10:44behind the scenes that is the network
1:10:46and we're all so busy chasing the shiny
1:10:48stuff that to your point, you've already
1:10:51said it. Look at what's right in front
1:10:52of you. Work with what you have.
1:10:54>> Work with what you have
1:10:55>> and go from there. Um, how did Skiims
1:10:58come to start?
1:11:00>> Well, Skiims was a bit different because
1:11:01that was Kim's idea. Kim had the idea of
1:11:04starting this shapewear company and I
1:11:07think that I was a trusted partner of
1:11:09the family that by that point and I just
1:11:11again when I get excited about something
1:11:13now I'm like this is the best idea ever.
1:11:17You know, that's one of those products.
1:11:20It's just like that makes so much sense
1:11:23and it is so obviously the right thing
1:11:27to do and so on brand and so needed and
1:11:31solves a problem and just
1:11:33Yeah. Well, I I should say Skiims is a
1:11:36sponsor of this podcast.
1:11:38>> Yes, it's only bras I wear.
1:11:41>> Go Skiims. You did not You did not pay
1:11:43me to do that. Um, well, let's talk
1:11:46though about your experience investing
1:11:49and being a judge on Shark Tank because
1:11:51you've got to have seen some amazing
1:11:53pitches and some really horrible ones.
1:11:57>> Um,
1:12:00you know, everybody wants to take their
1:12:02shot,
1:12:03>> right?
1:12:04What advice do you have for somebody who
1:12:08can get into the room or
1:12:11happens to be introduced to somebody and
1:12:15you want to take your shot and make your
1:12:18pitch? How do you do it without being
1:12:21overbearing or inappropriate or you know
1:12:23what I'm saying?
1:12:24>> Yeah, totally.
1:12:25So, let's just talk about this for a
1:12:28second in terms of what is most
1:12:31important for a pitch. Right? Because
1:12:34that's the first thing that people get
1:12:35wrong.
1:12:37A lot of fantastic, brilliant,
1:12:39successful entrepreneurs are excellent
1:12:42storytellers. So, they're not coming
1:12:44into you going like, "Hey, I've got this
1:12:46thing and it's 5.99 and it does."
1:12:48They're telling you a story. They are
1:12:51weaving a narrative in your mind for
1:12:54what this thing does, for the solution,
1:12:56for how it came to be. And they're going
1:12:58all around that, but they are taking you
1:13:00on a journey. and you're like you're in
1:13:04you're in like you're being red
1:13:05Goldilocks, right? It's like and you're
1:13:07eating it up. And that is the starting
1:13:09point because to be an incredible
1:13:11entrepreneur, you've got to be able to
1:13:13sell and you got to be able to
1:13:15storytell. And those two things are the
1:13:18things that I think people don't think
1:13:21about enough. When you can craft a story
1:13:24and a narrative that is compelling to
1:13:26your customers, you got them. You got
1:13:28them hooked. That is your sales pitch.
1:13:30So really figuring that out and
1:13:34practicing it. I can't tell you how many
1:13:36times I sat down in a mirror and spoke
1:13:40about Good American before I met Pete
1:13:42Nordstrom. Like
1:13:44maybe 50 times. I did that pitch over
1:13:47and over and over and over again.
1:13:49Remember Mel, I knew nothing about
1:13:51constru construction of denim. I was a
1:13:53marketing kid who went into product. So,
1:13:55I had to like really finesse it and I
1:13:58had to again, you know, I'm not a
1:13:59plus-sized woman, but I had to embody my
1:14:02customer and embody who I was solving
1:14:04for. So, the first thing is like get
1:14:06your storytelling down and make sure
1:14:09you're not just flogging a product, you
1:14:11are telling an interesting, compelling
1:14:13narrative. And then you got to work out
1:14:15your timing because if you're in a
1:14:16party, if you are at a social event, if
1:14:20you're on a quick ride, that's not the
1:14:21time. That's not it. And you would be
1:14:23better saying, I've got something that
1:14:25would be really interesting to you and I
1:14:27wonder if you've got a good five minutes
1:14:28to do it. Because if you get that timing
1:14:31off right, the person is not there to
1:14:33receive your thing. My next thing is
1:14:36about your attitude. You can be excited.
1:14:40You can be exuberant. You can actually
1:14:42even be a little bit arrogant, right?
1:14:43That that is fine so long as you know
1:14:46your And you really need to know
1:14:48it. You really need to know. And when I
1:14:50say you need to know it, you need to
1:14:52know your competition. You need to know
1:14:53what you're up against. You need to have
1:14:55figured all of those things out because
1:14:57when you have your chance, you have to
1:15:00be ready.
1:15:01>> There is no practice. There is no It's
1:15:03like that's your moment. So, you got to
1:15:05figure those things out way ahead of
1:15:08time. That's how you do a really great
1:15:11and really compelling pitch.
1:15:12>> Excellence again.
1:15:14>> We're back to it.
1:15:15>> We're back to it. We're back to it.
1:15:16>> We're back to excellence. And excellence
1:15:18can be practiced, right? Like if you it
1:15:21actually needs excellence does not show
1:15:23up.
1:15:23>> No, you've got to you've got to try and
1:15:25you've got to sit in front of someone
1:15:27and and fake pitch it. You know, you've
1:15:29got to do that. You've and you've got to
1:15:31be willing to take the feedback. You
1:15:33know, everyone used to say to me, Emma,
1:15:35you're fantastic. You just speak really
1:15:37fast. And I'll be like, I do really?
1:15:38What do you mean I speak too fast? You
1:15:40know, and so I had to learn to slow it
1:15:44down a little bit. But you have to be
1:15:45willing to take that feedback.
1:15:47>> So for someone who wants to start a
1:15:49business, what's the best piece of
1:15:51advice
1:15:53to give them?
1:15:54>> I think my best advice
1:15:58is that and this is uh this is where I
1:16:01want to be really honest. Mel,
1:16:04not everybody
1:16:06should start a business, right? And so I
1:16:10think that you have to really think
1:16:11about what you're optimizing for. What
1:16:13are you trying to do here? We are in
1:16:16America. America is an incredible place
1:16:19to be successful. And that isn't always
1:16:22about starting a business. We've
1:16:24romanticized this idea of what it means
1:16:26to be a founder. It might be that you
1:16:29are the type of person that thrives on
1:16:33comfort and you need to know what's
1:16:35happening next month and the month
1:16:37after. That's not a founder. That's not
1:16:40an entrepreneur. And you would be better
1:16:42working for one of the great companies
1:16:44that we have in this country. You can
1:16:45have a fantastic, beautiful, ambitious,
1:16:49entrepreneurial corporate career in this
1:16:52country. And so you really need to be
1:16:54honest with yourself about who are you
1:16:58and what are you trying to optimize for?
1:17:01Do you want to be that? Are you somebody
1:17:03that is risk adverse? Are you somebody
1:17:06that's willing to put it all on the
1:17:08line? Are you at the stage in your life
1:17:10where that's even an option for you? Or
1:17:11do you have kids and a mortgage and
1:17:13parents that you're looking after? So,
1:17:14the first thing is let's just be honest
1:17:17and not go around telling everyone that
1:17:19everyone should start a business and
1:17:20everyone's an entrepreneur because
1:17:22they're just not. That might not be what
1:17:24people want to hear, but that is the
1:17:25truth.
1:17:25>> That's what they need to hear. That's
1:17:27what they need to hear. That is
1:17:29fantastic honest advice. What's the
1:17:32worst thing that somebody could do if
1:17:34they know, okay, I can handle the
1:17:37uncertainty. I cannot let this thing go.
1:17:40I am going to do this thing. What's the
1:17:43worst thing that they could do? Be
1:17:46shortsighted. You have to be longterm.
1:17:50>> I don't know any business that does what
1:17:54it does in the movies. It takes time. It
1:17:58takes so much time. and for you to get
1:18:01in your stride and be good at something
1:18:03and start hiring people and those people
1:18:05to work out and your thing to start
1:18:07tracking and the retailers to take
1:18:09notice and then the press to set up.
1:18:11That takes time. So you have to know
1:18:14that nothing happens overnight. And are
1:18:17you willing to commit yourself to this
1:18:19thing for the next few years?
1:18:20>> 10 years.
1:18:21>> Like that's honestly that's what it
1:18:23takes.
1:18:23>> That's what it takes.
1:18:24>> That's what it takes.
1:18:25>> That's what it takes.
1:18:26>> And if you're not willing to do it for
1:18:2710 years, then you're not actually
1:18:28committed to it.
1:18:29>> Yeah. We overestimate what we can do in
1:18:31a year.
1:18:32>> It's true. It's true. So, you know, if
1:18:35if somebody is listening right now or
1:18:38they have someone in their life that
1:18:40either just lost their job because
1:18:42there's a lot of people losing their
1:18:43jobs right now or maybe they just want a
1:18:46pivot. They're thinking about
1:18:47reinvention or they want to start a
1:18:50business.
1:18:51If you had to really name the skill that
1:18:55you believe is going to be the most
1:18:59marketable and important in the next few
1:19:02years, what do you think that skill is
1:19:04that somebody should either focus on or
1:19:08learn or double down on?
1:19:12So the first thing is
1:19:14you have to figure out what you really
1:19:18care about, what you uniquely
1:19:21can get obsessed over and then you're
1:19:24going to have to work out how AI is
1:19:28going to disrupt that business and learn
1:19:30it. And I talk about this all the time
1:19:33because by and large male women missed
1:19:36out on the first tech boom, right? There
1:19:38are far too few female engineers. There
1:19:40are far too few female coders because we
1:19:44weren't in it in the same way that the
1:19:46guys were in it from the beginning. And
1:19:48then the education followed that path
1:19:50and the training and the jobs and the
1:19:52seniority. It all went that way. We must
1:19:54not miss out on this AI boom. If you
1:19:56ain't using it, use it now. And I'm not
1:19:59talking chat GPT as your search engine
1:20:01default instead of Google. I'm talking
1:20:03about whatever it is that you do. If you
1:20:05are an editor, if you are working in
1:20:08planning or merchandising in a fashion
1:20:10company, whatever it is that your job is
1:20:14now, figure out the way you can utilize
1:20:17AI tools and start learning them and
1:20:19force yourself to learn them because
1:20:21that's the future. That's where we're
1:20:23going. And you know, I know that so many
1:20:25people are like, "Oh my goodness, I
1:20:27don't want more technology in my life.
1:20:29I'm just trying to not use my phone as
1:20:31much. I want to get back to real life
1:20:32and real people." You can't avoid it.
1:20:34We've never been able to stop progress
1:20:36and nor should we want to. And there's
1:20:38going to be a lot of great stuff that
1:20:40comes out of this AI. Boom. And you have
1:20:43to be at the forefront of it. So, it's
1:20:45like start to figure out how you can
1:20:47ingratiate it into your life and your
1:20:49work now. And something will start to
1:20:52emerge. You'll start to understand it,
1:20:54see where the gaps are, get into that
1:20:56white space. You'll start to learn
1:20:58something differently. And it will
1:21:00become habitual for you.
1:21:03I could not agree more. How are you
1:21:05using it?
1:21:06>> Oh, in so many different ways. Well, you
1:21:08know, because for my own podcast, the
1:21:10team is minuscule.
1:21:12So, we're using it in a lot of ways,
1:21:14whether it's for research or
1:21:15transcribing or pulling certain clips
1:21:17like but there's so many ways. And you
1:21:19know what I did actually two years ago
1:21:22um in the office was really say to
1:21:24everyone, whoever can use AI in their
1:21:27department, here's a bonus. We have a
1:21:29bonus system. And it was so interesting,
1:21:31you know, you think it would come like
1:21:33from the marketing department or the
1:21:34real creative departments. Absolutely
1:21:35not. It was the accounts team that fa
1:21:37found a way to um systematically figure
1:21:40out chargebacks, which is a huge part of
1:21:42our business, right? And and I was like,
1:21:44are you kidding? Not only saving the
1:21:46company actually hundreds of thousands
1:21:47of dollars, but coming out of the
1:21:49department that you would think is less
1:21:51dynamic. And so I think when you start
1:21:54to challenge people to find efficiencies
1:21:56in the way they work, it really is like
1:21:59the best thing that's happened to us.
1:22:01Emma, if the person who is hanging on
1:22:06every single amazing word that comes out
1:22:09of your mouth takes
1:22:12one thing and does one thing today out
1:22:16of everything that you've shared, what
1:22:18is the one thing that is the most
1:22:21important thing to do? You have to get
1:22:25out of your head.
1:22:28You have to change the narrative.
1:22:31that fills you with the fear
1:22:35that stops you from moving. And I say
1:22:39that because I've been there. I've been
1:22:41in a job where I've been dreaming of
1:22:45something else for the longest time and
1:22:48I've written proposals and I've done
1:22:49presentations and I've filed them on my
1:22:51desktop and then I left them and I
1:22:54didn't see the light of day.
1:22:56And guess what? The first one I did is
1:23:00the one that you're wearing today.
1:23:01You're wearing the jeans. You're wearing
1:23:04the idea that made it off of my desktop.
1:23:08That's it. And if I can do it, anyone
1:23:12can do it. M. Anyone.
1:23:15Emma. Agreed. What are your parting
1:23:16words?
1:23:19>> You know, honestly, M, I'm so grateful
1:23:23to you. I'm so unbelievably grateful
1:23:27that you would ask me to come here. And
1:23:32you know, I wish I had something better
1:23:34to say, but my honest truth is that I
1:23:38dreamt of being who I am now.
1:23:42>> But I just didn't let the dreams stay a
1:23:44dream. Right? It's like I just decided
1:23:48that I would have to get up and make it
1:23:50a reality. that if I worked and if I
1:23:53tried and if I was willing to kind of
1:23:56sit with the failure and the knockbacks
1:23:59that that would be okay because
1:24:01eventually it would come. And so I just
1:24:03want to say the same to everyone else.
1:24:05Eventually your time will come.
1:24:08>> That's it. You have to know that about
1:24:10yourself. That is just it.
1:24:13>> Well, here's what I know about you. You
1:24:14are a force to be reckoned with.
1:24:16>> Thank you. and you understood the
1:24:19assignment and you showed up and lit the
1:24:23biggest fire not only inside the person
1:24:27that has been listening and watching but
1:24:30also inside me. I think you are a gift.
1:24:32You deserve every single bit of success
1:24:35that you have worked your ass off for.
1:24:38>> Thank you. And there's no doubt in my
1:24:39mind that there will be a million other
1:24:42Emma Greeds that are inspired by your
1:24:44story and the generosity of the wisdom
1:24:47that you have shared with us today. I
1:24:49love you. I am so grateful to have met
1:24:52you, to have learned from you, to feel
1:24:54so inspired by you, and thank you. Thank
1:24:59you for being here.
1:25:00>> Thank you for having me. It's been a
1:25:02joy. Thank you, M.
1:25:03>> And thank you. Thank you for listening
1:25:07to something that I know will change the
1:25:10course of your life because this
1:25:13particular episode is going to change
1:25:16the course of mine. Like I literally
1:25:17want to stop talking and go do
1:25:19something. I am so fired up after being
1:25:21with Emma and being with you. And so
1:25:24take this gift, share it with everybody
1:25:26you know and then make yourself get to
1:25:30work. And in case nobody else has told
1:25:32you, let me be the first person to say
1:25:35as your friend that I love you and I
1:25:38believe in you and I believe in your
1:25:40ability to aspire to amazing things to
1:25:44get to work to figure it out. And Emma
1:25:47just taught you exactly what to do to
1:25:49put it in motion. Now go do it because
1:25:52you know your friend Mel is going to be
1:25:53cheering you on every step of the way.
1:25:55All righty. She lit a fire under my ass,
1:25:57so I got to get out of here. I will see
1:25:59you in the very next episode the moment
1:26:02you hit play. All righty. I got to get
1:26:04out of here because I got to go do
1:26:06something now that Emma has just poured
1:26:07all this into us. And I know you're
1:26:09feeling the same way. And what you
1:26:10probably want to do is watch another
1:26:12video. So, I'm going to recommend that
1:26:14you go to this one. You're going to love
1:26:15it. And I'll be waiting to welcome you
1:26:17in the moment you hit play. I'll see you
1:26:19there.

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This page contains the full transcript of If You Only Watch One Video Today, Make It This One by Mel Robbins, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 16,284 words across 2,280 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

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Use the transcript to take notes, quote the speaker, build a study guide, generate a summary with ChatGPT or Claude via the YouTube Summary tool, or export it as a timed subtitle file with YouTube to SRT. You can also re-open it in the transcriber to translate the transcript into 100+ languages.

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