If I Wanted to Change My Life in 2026, I'd Develop This Skill — Transcript

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1. 0:00If you can be in a bad mood for no
2. 0:01reason, then you might as well be in a
3. 0:03good mood for no reason, too. One of the
4. 0:05things that's been helpful for me is
5. 0:06just actually recognizing the math of
6. 0:08hard days. Think about you having 100
7. 0:10days, right? Let's just say that you you
8. 0:12know, last 100 days of your life. Well,
9. 0:14the top 10% of those days, you're going
10. 0:16to have 10 days that are a smiley face
11. 0:18days. And then you might have, you know,
12. 0:20kind of the middle 80, that's going to
13. 0:22be kind of neutral days, right? And then
14. 0:24you're going to have your bottom 10%
15. 0:25days. Now, this is just normal because
16. 0:28of a standard distribution of how days
17. 0:30work. When I think back on, you know, my
18. 0:32days, sometimes I'm like, you know what?
19. 0:34Maybe today is just a bottom 10% day.
20. 0:36And if I didn't have this bottom 10%
21. 0:38day, then I wouldn't be able to
22. 0:38recognize the difference between these
23. 0:40days and the top 10% days. And so in
24. 0:42order for me to want to have top 10%
25. 0:43days, I by definition must also have
26. 0:46bottom 10% days. I think the most
27. 0:48important skill that you can have is
28. 0:50being able to reframe reality. And I say
29. 0:54this because I had a very good friend of
30. 0:56mine this year say something to me, and
31. 0:58it was it was really powerful. It's been
32. 1:00top of mind since he said it. He said,
33. 1:01"You're Alex Hormozi, you can get away
34. 1:04with whatever you want as long as you
35. 1:05frame it right." And
36. 1:07I really thought a lot about that, and
37. 1:09I've I've brought that perspective to a
38. 1:12lot of the conversations, a lot of
39. 1:13difficult things I've had to go through
40. 1:14this year. It reminds me of a quote from
41. 1:15Victor Frankl, who wrote the book Man's
42. 1:17Search for Meaning, which he wrote while
43. 1:18he was in the concentration cancer in
44. 1:20the Holocaust, and he survived or he
45. 1:22wrote about that time period. And one of
46. 1:23the things that he said is, "He who has
47. 1:25a why to live for can bear almost any
48. 1:28how." If you think about that, the why
49. 1:30is the reframe for dealing with the how.
50. 1:33How can I frame this this difficult
51. 1:36thing, this thing that I'm about to go
52. 1:37through or that I just went through? How
53. 1:38can I reframe that? In what world would
54. 1:40this be an amazing thing? In what world
55. 1:41where when I tell this story 40, 50
56. 1:44years from now, would I be like, "This
57. 1:45is a pivot point for me. I had to have
58. 1:46this origin story in order to get to
59. 1:48where I wanted to go, to become the type
60. 1:49person I wanted to be." These have been
61. 1:51some of the mental reframes that I've
62. 1:52used on some of the harder days that
63. 1:54I've had. So this year, I had a gigantic
64. 1:56bill come out of nowhere. So it was a
65. 1:58multi-eight-figure bill that was
66. 2:00required to get paid in 72 hours in
67. 2:04cash. I, you know, thankfully had that
68. 2:07available to me.
69. 2:08But I had obviously different plans for
70. 2:10that money
71. 2:11>> [laughter]
72. 2:12>> than dealing with this gigantic bill
73. 2:13that I had to all of a sudden pay within
74. 2:1572 hours. Basically the moment between
75. 2:17when I got the news to me paying it to
76. 2:19then kind of reflecting back cuz it
77. 2:21almost felt so fast it was like
78. 2:23I've got, you know, I've got all these
79. 2:24plans and then boom, this happens and
80. 2:26then 72 hours later it's like, "Wow,
81. 2:28okay. What am I going to do? What am I
82. 2:29going to do kind of moving forward from
83. 2:31this?"
84. 2:32And there's this great quote by Marcus
85. 2:33Aurelius which is, "What are you so
86. 2:35afraid of losing when nothing in this
87. 2:37world belongs to you?"
88. 2:39I really thought a lot about that which
89. 2:40it's like
90. 2:41I can't take it with me in the end. And
91. 2:44so being sad about losing something that
92. 2:46was never really mine anyways. Like I'm
93. 2:48going to have to push all my chips to
94. 2:49the middle of the board when when the
95. 2:51game's over. I'm going to have to cash
96. 2:52my chips and somebody else, you know,
97. 2:53other people are going to distribute my
98. 2:54chips when I die. And so it's like I'm
99. 2:56really just a steward of these chips.
100. 2:57I'm just renting these chips for a
101. 2:58minute. To be upset and to ruin the one
102. 3:00thing that I'm only that is that is
103. 3:02finite which is the present moment for
104. 3:03something that actually doesn't affect
105. 3:05how I live. So this is the second piece.
106. 3:06This is actually kind of a utilitarian
107. 3:07perspective that really helped me. By
108. 3:09losing that money I asked myself, "What
109. 3:11does this change about what I do?
110. 3:14What does this change about my life?
111. 3:16It doesn't change the food I eat. It
112. 3:17doesn't change where I live. It doesn't
113. 3:18change where I work. It doesn't change
114. 3:19what I do. It actually changes nothing.
115. 3:22All it changed was just like in my mind
116. 3:24I had an expectation of the future that
117. 3:26changed. That was it.
118. 3:28And
119. 3:30I said, "Okay, because of this thing
120. 3:31that existed in my mind, I am choosing
121. 3:33to punish myself for not having seen
122. 3:35this or not paying attention or whatever
123. 3:38it number of reasons I could blame
124. 3:39myself for." But at the end of the day I
125. 3:41was like, "Okay, so you just get to pick
126. 3:42how long you want to beat yourself up
127. 3:43for." I was like, "Huh. Well, what am I
128. 3:44so afraid of losing if nothing in this
129. 3:47world belongs to me. Nothing This wasn't
130. 3:49mine to begin with."
131. 3:50And so that really kind of helped me
132. 3:51quell that kind of negative thought
133. 3:53pattern pretty quickly. So, there's to
134. 3:55put a little comedic spin on this, Mark
135. 3:56Twain, which has some of the best quotes
136. 3:58like ever, by the way. He said, "I've
137. 3:59lived through many terrible tragedies,
138. 4:02only some of them actually happened."
139. 4:04And so, it's like, you know, most of us
140. 4:05suffer almost exclusively in our minds.
141. 4:07I found it helpful when I'm in a bad
142. 4:10season, like I am right now. To be fair,
143. 4:12I don't try to like put big labels on
144. 4:13things, but I guess I'm just giving
145. 4:15myself a little bit of grace. But, to
146. 4:17just focus on having a good day. And so,
147. 4:19it's like, "Okay, even though this is a
148. 4:21bad season, I'm going to have a good day
149. 4:23in a bad season." It's kind of like a
150. 4:24bite-size victory. And if I start
151. 4:26stringing enough of those good days in a
152. 4:28row, I'm going to turn a bad season back
153. 4:30into a good season. And it makes it feel
154. 4:32a little less bad, cuz I feel like I'm
155. 4:33making progress. I heard this bit by
156. 4:35Bill Ackman, who was like getting sued,
157. 4:37he was going through divorce, he just
158. 4:38lost $4 billion
159. 4:40in Pershing Square for his capital. So,
160. 4:41he was like, "Honestly, all of this
161. 4:43happened the same time." And he realized
162. 4:45all these projects for these big massive
163. 4:47things, which is a lot of kind of stuff
164. 4:48I'm dealing with right now. They're not
165. 4:49like, "Okay, I had a bad day." They're
166. 4:50like things that just last They they
167. 4:51last and they prolong, right?
168. 4:54And [sighs] he said, "You just got a
169. 4:55little bit done every day. That's it."
170. 4:57He's like, "You just got to make a
171. 4:57little bit of progress every day." And
172. 4:59kind of like compounding and investing,
173. 5:00it's like you don't really You don't see
174. 5:01it in a in a day or two or a week or
175. 5:03two. It's like, but you look at back at
176. 5:0430 days, you're like, "All right, I
177. 5:05moved the ball a little bit." You look
178. 5:07back at 90, you're like, "All right, I
179. 5:08made some progress." And it's just like,
180. 5:11if you have big goals, you're also going
181. 5:12to have equally large
182. 5:14obstacles. And so, you can't assume
183. 5:17that, "Oh, my big goals are going to
184. 5:18take many, many years." And then the
185. 5:19obstacles that I have to maneuver around
186. 5:21are going to happen overnight. Sometimes
187. 5:23obstacles that you have to maneuver
188. 5:24around might take a year or multiple
189. 5:26years to get around. And so, you have to
190. 5:27be able to manage your head space and
191. 5:28basically keep your internal combustion
192. 5:30engine going during those harder times.
193. 5:32And so, it's kind of like a monkey
194. 5:33swinging from good good moment to good
195. 5:35moment.
196. 5:36Cuz even going from bad season to good
197. 5:38day, you can even have bad day and good
198. 5:40moment.
199. 5:41So, I was trying to thought, "Okay,
200. 5:43today was a shitty day.
201. 5:44Fine.
202. 5:45What good moments did I have?" And by
203. 5:47focusing on the moments, when I look
204. 5:48back on my life, you forget most of your
205. 5:51life. Like if we're being real. Like you
206. 5:52can't recall most of your life. Most
207. 5:54people can't even recall what they ate
208. 5:55like 3 days ago.
209. 5:57But you can have the moments. And so the
210. 5:59moments when I think about at the end of
211. 6:01my life looking backwards, those are the
212. 6:02only things I'm really going to
213. 6:03remember. I just want to make sure that
214. 6:04I take those down. Feels like a bad
215. 6:06season now. I can try and forget most of
216. 6:09the bad [laughter] stuff and just try
217. 6:10and remember the good moments. In
218. 6:11retrospect, I can have rose rose-colored
219. 6:14glasses when it comes to this this
220. 6:15season. Well, how do you have a good
221. 6:17day? And I think this is different for
222. 6:18everyone, but I'll tell you what my
223. 6:19little formula is for for having a good
224. 6:21day. Good day
225. 6:23formula.
226. 6:24For me, there's only three things.
227. 6:26Number one is eat with people I like.
228. 6:30Simple enough.
229. 6:32Number two,
230. 6:33lift
231. 6:34with people I like.
232. 6:37And the third
233. 6:38is write something.
234. 6:41If I do those three things,
235. 6:43I had a pretty good day. Like I look
236. 6:44back and I'm like, I earned my shower
237. 6:46today. I feel good about this. Maybe for
238. 6:48you, your three things are going to be
239. 6:49entirely different. Now, I'll give you a
240. 6:50little wrinkle on something that's been
241. 6:52really valuable for me. Like absurdly
242. 6:54valuable. The thing that I noticed that
243. 6:56made these two things significantly
244. 6:57better, and really all three of these
245. 6:59things,
246. 7:00is not being in a rush. If I have to
247. 7:02lift and it's like I only have 60
248. 7:03minutes to lift, I don't like that. Some
249. 7:06people are fine with it. Some people are
250. 7:07like, well, this is how my life has to
251. 7:08be. That's fine. I have come to a point
252. 7:11in my life where I was like, I have a
253. 7:13lot of money.
254. 7:14And I have the ability to not work
255. 7:17anymore. And there are not a huge amount
256. 7:20of things that bring me big joy. If
257. 7:22these are the few things that bring me
258. 7:23joy, which is eating without a clock
259. 7:26with people I like, lifting without a
260. 7:28clock uh with people I like, and writing
261. 7:31something for as long as I feel like,
262. 7:33then I should organize my day so that I
263. 7:35don't have as like many, many hard
264. 7:37stops. So that if I want to lift in the
265. 7:39morning, I don't have something at 9:00.
266. 7:41And if I do have something at 9, it's
267. 7:42something that's movable. Right? Like if
268. 7:44I have to, you know, make this video, it
269. 7:47could be at 9, but the team knows if I
270. 7:48show up at 9:30 or 9:45 cuz I lifted
271. 7:50longer, that's fine. It's all good. It
272. 7:52has taken my good day formula and made
273. 7:54it like my super good day formula. And
274. 7:57so sometimes it's like, what are the
275. 7:59tiny nuances that actually make
276. 8:00something different between good and
277. 8:01great? I thought about it like the days
278. 8:03that I had these three things happen,
279. 8:04and then I had better days that had
280. 8:06those three things happen. I was like,
281. 8:07what was the difference? And the
282. 8:08difference was that I didn't have to be
283. 8:09somewhere else.
284. 8:12And
285. 8:13in trying not to have a rush, it means I
286. 8:15have to give something else up. Then the
287. 8:17question is, is the thing that I'm
288. 8:18giving up worth having a better day? For
289. 8:20me, I was like, yes, I'm willing to give
290. 8:22up some money or some upside in order to
291. 8:25have consistently better days. And
292. 8:27that's a trade I'm willing to make at
293. 8:28this point in my career.