If Cristiano Ronaldo Played For Brazil — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:02Good work, boys. We just gave them a
2. 0:04BELT TO ASK.
3. 0:07WAIT, IS THAT NO,
4. 0:09>> [laughter]
5. 0:09>> it can't be.
6. 0:17>> [music]
7. 0:18>> Woah, woah, woah. Hold up right there,
8. 0:20Mono. Ronaldo's Brazilian now? Sorry,
9. 0:23Portugal fans, but not today. Stick with
10. 0:26me on this one because this is genuinely
11. 0:28one of the most unhinged, but also the
12. 0:31most anticipated what if timelines I've
13. 0:33ever thought about. Somewhere out there,
14. 0:36Cristiano Ronaldo isn't from Portugal.
15. 0:38He's from Brazil. Same ego, same
16. 0:41obsession with being the best player
17. 0:42alive, just born in the one country on
18. 0:45Earth that already treats football
19. 0:47legends like national holidays. Think
20. 0:49about who's already walking around
21. 0:51Brazil at this exact time. Ronaldinho,
22. 0:54Kaká, a literal prime Ronaldo Nazário,
23. 0:57and a little later down the line, a
24. 0:59teenager named Neymar who's about to
25. 1:01become the most hyped player on the
26. 1:03planet. Now you drop our Ronaldo into
27. 1:05that exact mix. Same country, same era,
28. 1:09same I need to be the best one in this
29. 1:11room mentality. Except now the room is
30. 1:13already full of people who think that
31. 1:15exact same thing. If that sounds like
32. 1:18chaos, that's because it absolutely is.
33. 1:21And trust me, you want to see how this
34. 1:23plays out. So go ahead and hit subscribe
35. 1:25right now because this channel's whole
36. 1:27thing is exactly this kind of unhinged
37. 1:29football hypothetical, and there's a lot
38. 1:32more of these coming. So, without
39. 1:34further ado, let's begin.
40. 1:37In real life, a Sporting CP scout finds
41. 1:39him in Madeira as a skinny teenager. In
42. 1:41this timeline, he doesn't even need to
43. 1:43be discovered. In Brazil, kids like this
44. 1:46get spotted in a cage playing futsal by
45. 1:48age nine. By 15, he's already doing
46. 1:51interviews on national TV, and nobody's
47. 1:54even surprised because that's just
48. 1:56Tuesday over there. Here's the twist
49. 1:58though. Brazil already has a Ronaldo,
50. 2:01the actual one, Ronaldo Nazario, the
51. 2:04best striker on the planet at the time.
52. 2:06So now there's two guys named Ronaldo on
53. 2:08the same national team, both fully
54. 2:11convinced they're the main character.
55. 2:13Commentators start calling them Ronaldo
56. 2:14squared just to survive, and the stats
57. 2:17websites genuinely never recover.
58. 2:222006 World Cup. Real life, Brazil rolls
59. 2:25in with arguably the most talented squad
60. 2:27in the tournament. Ronaldinho, Kaká, and
61. 2:30prime Ronaldo Nazario all in the same
62. 2:3211, and still gets bounced in the
63. 2:34quarter-finals by France, mostly because
64. 2:36Zidane decides to be unfairly good for
65. 2:3890 minutes. Now drop our Ronaldo into
66. 2:41that lineup as the young hungry one
67. 2:43fighting for minutes behind an actual
68. 2:45golden generation. Except this time,
69. 2:47when Brazil needs someone to step up
70. 2:49against France, he's the one who does
71. 2:50it. He drags Brazil through that
72. 2:52quarter-final, through the semi-final,
73. 2:54and all the way to the final, playing
74. 2:56with the same relentless energy that
75. 2:58made him a European superstar in the
76. 2:59real timeline. Brazil wins it. First
77. 3:02World Cup for our guy at just 21 years
78. 3:04old. This is also where his individual
79. 3:07career completely flips.
80. 3:09Being Brazilian instead of Portuguese
81. 3:11means his whole path to the top looks
82. 3:13different from the jump. Maybe it's
83. 3:15Flamengo or Santos first, the classic
84. 3:17Brazilian pipeline every legend goes
85. 3:19through, before some European giant
86. 3:21swoops in with a transfer fee that makes
87. 3:24agents cry actual tears of joy. And
88. 3:26since he's South American now, Copa
89. 3:28América enters the chat, too. An entire
90. 3:31extra tournament to obsess over winning
91. 3:33every couple of years. But the biggest
92. 3:35change is the goat debate.
93. 3:37In real life, this argument runs for two
94. 3:40decades with people always bringing up
95. 3:42the same thing. He never won a World
96. 3:44Cup. That doesn't apply anymore. He's 21
97. 3:47and already has it.
98. 3:512010 World Cup, South Africa. Real life,
99. 3:55Brazil looks genuinely scary under Dunga
100. 3:57with Kaká running the show in midfield,
101. 3:59goes up 1-0 against the Netherlands in
102. 4:01the quarterfinal, and then just
103. 4:03completely falls apart in the second
104. 4:05half, losing 2-1 in one of the most
105. 4:07confusing collapses in their World Cup
106. 4:09history. In this version, our Ronaldo is
107. 4:12the reigning champion now, the
108. 4:13undisputed number nine, coming in with
109. 4:15the World Cup medal already in his
110. 4:17pocket. So, when Brazil starts
111. 4:19unraveling in that second half, right in
112. 4:21front of Kaká, who's doing everything he
113. 4:23can to hold the midfield together, our
114. 4:25Ronaldo goes completely off the rails,
115. 4:28screaming at his own defense, arguing
116. 4:30with the referee, refusing to accept
117. 4:32that the defending champions are about
118. 4:34to go out. Doesn't matter, they still
119. 4:36lose, but this version gets a lot more
120. 4:38camera time doing it.
121. 4:41This is also right around when the Messi
122. 4:42comparisons start getting genuinely
123. 4:44serious. Both of them are tearing up
124. 4:46European football at this point, except
125. 4:48now they're not just club rivals,
126. 4:50they're both South American, which means
127. 4:52Copa América becomes their actual
128. 4:54battleground, too. Every single year,
129. 4:56there's a fresh argument about who's
130. 4:58really the best player the continent's
131. 5:00ever produced.
132. 5:042014 World Cup, Brazil. This is the big
133. 5:07one. Brazil's hosting at home, the
134. 5:09entire country's expecting nothing less
135. 5:11than the title with a young Neymar and
136. 5:13Marcelo now leading the charge alongside
137. 5:15our Ronaldo. And then Germany happens.
138. 5:18Seven goals to one in the semifinal on
139. 5:22home soil. Still widely considered the
140. 5:24most traumatic 90 minutes in the history
141. 5:27of Brazilian football, a result so
142. 5:29brutal it got its own nickname back
143. 5:30home. Now, our Ronaldo is in that exact
144. 5:33same squad, watching his own country get
145. 5:36taken apart in real time on the biggest
146. 5:38stage possible with Neymar already
147. 5:40injured and out of the tournament and
148. 5:42Marcelo left trying to hold together a
149. 5:44defense that's completely falling apart
150. 5:46behind him. Does our guy stay composed?
151. 5:49Not even a little. This man is losing
152. 5:51his mind out there, screaming at
153. 5:53teammates, refusing to accept what's
154. 5:55happening, basically starting his own
155. 5:57personal protest on the pitch while
156. 5:59Germany just keeps scoring. The result
157. 6:01doesn't change. The chaos absolutely
158. 6:04does. Individually though, this is also
159. 6:06the point where his numbers start
160. 6:08getting genuinely stupid. More Ballon
161. 6:10d'Ors, more Champions Leagues, and every
162. 6:13single one of them now gets compared
163. 6:15against Messi's trophy case. Except our
164. 6:17guy's already got the World Cup Messi's
165. 6:19still chasing. That comparison hits very
166. 6:22differently now.
167. 6:262018 World Cup, Russia. Real life,
168. 6:29Brazil goes in as favorites with Neymar
169. 6:31carrying the weight of the whole country
170. 6:33and gets knocked out in the
171. 6:34quarterfinals by Belgium, mainly because
172. 6:36Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku just
173. 6:38take over in the first half before
174. 6:40Brazil can even settle in. In this
175. 6:42timeline, our Ronaldo is the senior
176. 6:44veteran of the squad now, standing next
177. 6:46to Neymar. And this time, Brazil
178. 6:48actually gets past that Belgium test.
179. 6:50They grind through the quarterfinal, get
180. 6:52through the semifinal, and make it all
181. 6:54the way to the final where France is
182. 6:56just waiting for them. The same France
183. 6:58squad that steamrolled everyone in real
184. 7:00life. It's a genuinely brutal final.
185. 7:03Brazil pushes hard. Our Ronaldo's doing
186. 7:05everything a 33-year-old body can still
187. 7:07do, but France's young pace up front is
188. 7:09too much, and Brazil ends up losing the
189. 7:12final. Heartbreak, but also proof he can
190. 7:14still drag a team to the very last game
191. 7:16on the biggest stage possible. This near
192. 7:19miss actually adds fuel to the goat
193. 7:21debate rather than settling it. He's
194. 7:23already got one World Cup from 2006, so
195. 7:26losing this final doesn't erase
196. 7:27anything. It just becomes, "Imagine if
197. 7:30he'd gotten a second one."
198. 7:342022 World Cup, Qatar.
199. 7:37Real life, Brazil dominates most of
200. 7:39their quarterfinal against Croatia,
201. 7:41takes the lead, and then somehow finds a
202. 7:43way to lose it in extra time before
203. 7:45falling apart in the penalty shootout.
204. 7:47Our Ronaldo steps up to that shootout in
205. 7:49his late 30s. Already a World Cup
206. 7:51winner, already a World Cup finalist,
207. 7:53but Croatia's just built different in
208. 7:55shootouts, apparently. No matter which
209. 7:57timeline you're watching. He misses,
210. 7:58Brazil goes out, and honestly, it stings
211. 8:01differently this time because everyone
212. 8:02knows this was probably his last real
213. 8:04shot at a second star.
214. 8:092026 World Cup.
215. 8:11This one actually just happened for
216. 8:13real. Brazil got knocked out in the
217. 8:14round of 16, losing 2 to 1 to Norway.
218. 8:17Their earliest World Cup exit since
219. 8:181990. The guy who did the damage was
220. 8:21Erling Haaland, who scored twice,
221. 8:23including a header and an absolute
222. 8:24rocket from range to send Brazil
223. 8:26packing. Neymar came off the bench and
224. 8:28scored a late penalty, but by then it
225. 8:30was already too late.
226. 8:32In our timeline, Ronaldo's watching this
227. 8:34one from home, already retired, sitting
228. 8:36on a World Cup title from 2006 and a
229. 8:38runner-up medal from 2018. Absolutely
230. 8:41losing it that Brazil just got bounced
231. 8:43by Holland of all people. Somewhere he's
232. 8:46yelling at the TV going, "This would not
233. 8:48have happened on my watch." And
234. 8:50honestly, given his track record in this
235. 8:52timeline, he might actually have a
236. 8:53point. So, yeah, same Ronaldo, same ego,
237. 8:57just swapped Portugal for Brazil,
238. 8:59dropped into a country that already had
239. 9:00a legend with his exact same name, and
240. 9:03somehow still walked away with the one
241. 9:05thing he never got in real life.
242. 9:07Drop a comment, tell me which timeline
243. 9:09you'd rather watch, and if you like
244. 9:11this, hit subscribe because there's a
245. 9:13lot more of these coming. See you in the
246. 9:15next one.