I Opened My Mum's Shoebox :D — Transcript

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1. 0:00this next one is from Melissa dear
2. 0:01William Jordan EPB I'm afraid I have a
3. 0:03devastating dilemma for you I'm
4. 0:05currently house sitting for my parents
5. 0:06whilst they're away on holiday for a
6. 0:08week on the first night after a few
7. 0:10glasses of wine I got under the bed to
8. 0:12plug my phone charger into the wall
9. 0:14there I found a very pretty shoe box oh
10. 0:17no don't look in the shoe box under the
11. 0:19bed based on how vanilla my parents seem
12. 0:22I thought I would do no harm to open the
13. 0:24box
14. 0:25no as it was probably some form of
15. 0:28family memorabilia it's always the
16. 0:30vanilla ones it's them that are like
17. 0:33yeah I was very wrong oh Jesus why would
18. 0:37you look oh I don't even know if I can
19. 0:39read this why would you bloody
20. 0:41look why imagine my shock as I opened it
21. 0:45to find my mother's very large and
22. 0:47realistic battery powered
23. 0:49boyfriend was a battery it's obviously a
24. 0:53dilda hindsight is great and I know now
25. 0:56that I should have left it there but my
26. 0:57curios curiosity would unfortunately get
27. 0:59get the better of
28. 1:01me being alone and horny and also quite
29. 1:04impressed by the XL veiny monster I had
30. 1:06in my hands no oh no no no no she did
31. 1:10not use your mom's still though tell me
32. 1:14you tell me well please
33. 1:19please I can't GE I just I can't no read
34. 1:25it people are disgusting she did
35. 1:28not
36. 1:31I gave it a wash turned it on and
37. 1:32slipped it in Jesus Mary and Josephine
38. 1:35and the baby Jesus on a fcking bik what
39. 1:39the hell so not to go into too much
40. 1:40detail all I'll say is the Beast was
41. 1:42amazing it hit all the right
42. 1:45spots I've been using the device for the
43. 1:47last 3 days now and thought I'd Google
44. 1:49it to see if they had a newer version
45. 1:50for me to buy myself as I can't exactly
46. 1:53steal my mother's vibrator when I leave
47. 1:54in a few days time no apostrophe the
48. 1:57only markings were a faint name on the
49. 1:58Bas embossed in the fantastic upon
50. 2:01closer in oh no it gets worse how how
51. 2:07does it get worse she's using her mom's
52. 2:09dildo for Christ's sake
53. 2:14no
54. 2:15[Laughter]
55. 2:23[Music]
56. 2:25whoa what the only markings for a faint
57. 2:28name on the base embossed in the plastic
58. 2:29stick upon closer
59. 2:32inspection I could now see the brand it
60. 2:36read clone a
61. 2:40Wily
62. 2:41oh oh
63. 2:44no oh no turns out I've been getting the
64. 2:48best orgasms of my life from a replica
65. 2:50of my father's
66. 2:54penis how am I men to proceed from here
67. 2:58I think we're done they will be in a few
68. 3:00days and I don't think I can look them
69. 3:01in the eyee what's your advice regards
70. 3:05Melissa I think this is
71. 3:08it we can just do benador and end it
72. 3:11it's been a great five
73. 3:14years this is it we've
74. 3:18peep I'm actually speechless