I Gave My Goldfish $50,000 to Trade Stocks — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:032 30 a.m
2. 0:04time to rise and grind first thing i do
3. 0:07is grab breakfast wish i had time to
4. 0:09cook but i'm far too busy for that
5. 0:14it's been six months since i quit
6. 0:15youtube to trade stocks full time social
7. 0:18media is nice and all that i like to get
8. 0:20the day started with just a nice casual
9. 0:22drug just relax the body you know get
10. 0:24your blood pumping get a good start to
11. 0:25the day
12. 0:26but the real money is in the stock
13. 0:28market now we can finally get to work
14. 0:33stock options futures derivatives
15. 0:35derivative futures buy come coin take
16. 0:37all your savings put in the [ __ ] coins
17. 0:39they trade that option trade that stock
18. 0:41cover point is worthless i think every
19. 0:43last drop of my common points
20. 0:45sell it all off sell it
21. 0:49got it and that's just a day in the life
22. 0:51of a stock trader baby i executed the
23. 0:53stock trade and it gave me money so make
24. 0:55sure to tune in next time for listen i
25. 0:58don't know how to trade stocks man i
26. 1:00lost all my money on robin hood i have
27. 1:02no idea what i'm doing if only there was
28. 1:05something that could trade stocks for me
29. 1:08[Music]
30. 1:13hi i want to give my goldfish frederick
31. 1:16the ability to trade stocks now i know
32. 1:18what you're thinking michael you own a
33. 1:19goldfish and michael why haven't you
34. 1:21posted a video in eight months
35. 1:26anyways this is my life
36. 1:29yeah right right
37. 1:31right right here we track frederick's
38. 1:32position anywhere he is in the tank then
39. 1:34every morning when the stock market
40. 1:36opens he'll be prompted with two random
41. 1:38companies he'll choose one by spending
42. 1:39more time on that side of the tank then
43. 1:41the computer will take his decision and
44. 1:43buy that stock with the money of whoever
45. 1:45is sponsoring this video but before any
46. 1:47of that we need to track fish you might
47. 1:49think i built my fish tank against a
48. 1:50blank white wall because it provides
49. 1:52ample lighting and doesn't over
50. 1:53stimulate my fish wrong i did it so i
51. 1:56can write the detection software to just
52. 1:57look for orange pixels of the fish and
53. 1:59it won't get [ __ ] up by a shitty messy
54. 2:01background here's some code i wrote that
55. 2:02displays what the camera sees it's not
56. 2:04much but we can add a function in that
57. 2:06filters out specific colors like
58. 2:08apartheid then we can tell that function
59. 2:09to filter out every color that isn't
60. 2:11orange now this is kind of a complicated
61. 2:12coding thing so just try to keep up with
62. 2:14this
63. 2:16boom we got a color mask but it has
64. 2:17these little speckles of [ __ ] in it we
65. 2:19just gotta sprinkle some post-processing
66. 2:20coat on there and clean it right up i
67. 2:22did not have to google how to do that
68. 2:23shut the [ __ ] up then we take that
69. 2:24post-process image find the location
70. 2:26there's a little blob of pixels draw a
71. 2:28circle around it then take that circle
72. 2:29copy it draw it on the original image
73. 2:31bada bing bada boom tracking fish fish
74. 2:34track and honestly that was most of the
75. 2:35hard part i just added some random stuff
76. 2:37like the tickers and some logic and i
77. 2:39think we're ready to test it without
78. 2:40actual money because i don't know if it
79. 2:41works
80. 2:42all right so you should see these lights
81. 2:44turn on including the fish tank one
82. 2:46because it's wired into this relay box
83. 2:48over there and the program should should
84. 2:50turn them on automatically any time any
85. 2:52time it will turn them god [ __ ] down
86. 2:54is it broke no no the lights are on boom
87. 2:55stick tigger's at the top boom the fish
88. 2:57is choosing he's favoring the mo one
89. 2:59what'll it be oh what's he gonna do oh
90. 3:01my god
91. 3:04the fish bought stuck well i mean he
92. 3:06didn't buy the stock but like he chose a
93. 3:08stock this is amazing he bought ultria
94. 3:10over boeing good excellent choice i
95. 3:12think we're ready to hook it up to the
96. 3:13actual stock market it's actually going
97. 3:15to be super easy there's like a million
98. 3:16of these stock market apis that let you
99. 3:18buy stocks with just a little bit of
100. 3:20code i'm gonna use this one called
101. 3:21alpaca api they're all pretty much the
102. 3:22same though and really all i have to do
103. 3:24is add a few lines to the fish code and
104. 3:27yeah i guess i guess we're done yeah
105. 3:29frederick can start trading stocks
106. 3:30anytime i'm gonna go upstairs and start
107. 3:32it
108. 3:33what's that what is wall street bet
109. 3:36wall street bets is a subreddit for
110. 3:38[ __ ] who try to get rich quick on
111. 3:40mean stocks
112. 3:43like this idiot who recorded himself
113. 3:45losing fifty thousand dollars in two
114. 3:47seconds their investments are not based
115. 3:49on logic here they're based on memes and
116. 3:51attendees those guys are [ __ ]
117. 3:54geniuses their stocks only go up wait
118. 3:57what [ __ ] i could have built a bot that
119. 3:59scraped the wall street bet subreddit
120. 4:00and just bought stocks based on what
121. 4:02they posted there should i just start
122. 4:03over but frederick already knows how to
123. 4:05trade stocks but those guys from wall
124. 4:06street bets literally only pick good
125. 4:08stocks you've seen gamestop you've seen
126. 4:10tesla you've seen
127. 4:12you saw frederick in there he was
128. 4:13[ __ ] incredible just stick to the
129. 4:15plan wall street vet said it would be
130. 4:16free attendees what do you not get about
131. 4:18free attendees i don't know i wish
132. 4:21like if only if only i could make both
133. 4:24and then pit the two systems against
134. 4:25each other in a super sick competition
135. 4:27of fish versus man to see which one
136. 4:29makes more money
137. 4:36frederick takes an early lead by buying
138. 4:38nike stock for those dumb asses at wall
139. 4:39street best buy lucid and they're close
140. 4:41behind this is going to be a way it's me
141. 4:43the [ __ ] ass audience michael you can't
142. 4:45just represent an entire community with
143. 4:47a computer program yes the [ __ ] i can
144. 4:50for this spot to work we need to know
145. 4:51how wall street bets feels about certain
146. 4:53stocks to do this we're going to use
147. 4:54sentiment analysis which is a natural
148. 4:56language processing technique that uses
149. 4:58machine learning say we're looking
150. 5:00through my youtube comments one says die
151. 5:02forever bastard i hate you a sentiment
152. 5:04analysis spot would classify that as
153. 5:06negative and if we look at another one
154. 5:08that says i think you're great also i
155. 5:09have a super cool robot idea for you a
156. 5:11sentiment analysis bot will classify
157. 5:13that as
158. 5:14super [ __ ] negative because your idea
159. 5:16probably sucks at to train a sentiment
160. 5:18analysis bot you need a lot of labeled
161. 5:20data so a lot of samples of text that
162. 5:22are labeled positive or negative by a
163. 5:24human there are a lot of these data sets
164. 5:25out there that are publicly available
165. 5:27but the text is like normal person
166. 5:28talking wall street vets they talk about
167. 5:30tendees and yolo and boomers
168. 5:35stones just yolo very unique vocabulary
169. 5:38therefore i needed to make my own data
170. 5:40set using their [ __ ] weird wall street
171. 5:42bets language so i went to art slash
172. 5:43wall street bets sorted by top of all
173. 5:45time downloaded the top 10 000 posts and
174. 5:47all that's left to do was to label them
175. 5:49as positive or negative so i sat down
176. 5:51with a nice cup of coffee and labeled
177. 5:52the data myself
178. 5:54no no that would have taken four or five
179. 5:56hours that's [ __ ] stupid instead i
180. 5:58spent an entire month learning the react
181. 6:00web framework and building a website
182. 6:02that would allow users to log in and
183. 6:03label the data for me then i tweeted
184. 6:05asking wall street vets members to give
185. 6:06me their reddit usernames i then plugged
186. 6:08those usernames into the reddit api got
187. 6:10the top 10 accounts with the most reddit
188. 6:11karma who were active on wall street
189. 6:12best was ten people labeled one thousand
190. 6:14post e ten thousand post total and
191. 6:16created the data set for me and that's
192. 6:17how you turn a five hour task into a one
193. 6:20and a half month task because i'm a
194. 6:22programmer and that's what we do i use
195. 6:25that data set to train a sentiment
196. 6:26analysis bot and now every morning when
197. 6:28the fish is trading stocks this spot is
198. 6:30going on our slash wall street desk it's
199. 6:32looking through the top post of the day
200. 6:34until it finds one it likes and then it
201. 6:35buys the stock that that post is talking
202. 6:37about so that's how that works let's get
203. 6:39back to the competition and see which
204. 6:41one is better at trading stocks insane
205. 6:43things are happening michael there's
206. 6:45crazy stuff going on interesting buy
207. 6:46from wall street bets i don't know if
208. 6:47the gamestop play is going to work out
209. 6:49people love games michael they [ __ ]
210. 6:51love games big tank from wall street bet
211. 6:53could be like another 911 situation fish
212. 6:55is going crazy buying costco and
213. 6:57facebook facebook then meta now it's a
214. 6:59crazy day there's a lot of volatility
215. 7:01right now very confusing i don't know
216. 7:03where this one's gonna go i'm gonna get
217. 7:04an expert's opinion on this for sure
218. 7:09have a nice day
219. 7:11[Music]
220. 7:16hey this is graham stefan he does
221. 7:18financial investing videos and is also
222. 7:21rich as [ __ ] hello so you do you have
223. 7:23you do money yeah you have money i came
224. 7:25to ask you questions i'm going to give
225. 7:26you two portfolios i just want you to
226. 7:29look them over which one do you think is
227. 7:30better oh okay okay portfolio one's
228. 7:34interesting now portfolio two ah okay we
229. 7:37got a lot of the memes here the market's
230. 7:39been down pretty much everything has
231. 7:40been down last three months yeah but if
232. 7:42i were to i would feel way more
233. 7:44comfortable with the first one what if i
234. 7:45told you that an algorithm aspect all of
235. 7:48these stocks i would believe it i'm
236. 7:50gonna give you the performance wow the
237. 7:51algorithm is uh performed now this is
238. 7:54only over three months for the portfolio
239. 7:56one is managed by more by frederick um
240. 7:59this video is about investing so like
241. 8:01maybe giving viewers an opportunity to
242. 8:04invest into a fund that is managed by my
243. 8:06fish
244. 8:08so it's a fish
245. 8:10yeah
246. 8:13i'm back things have been going crazy
247. 8:15what did graham say his money is on the
248. 8:17fish peaks in the valleys for wall
249. 8:18street's bets it's better it's better
250. 8:20than bigger than anyone they can win but
251. 8:22graham's money is on the fish i [ __ ]
252. 8:24hate you graham stevens big ball what
253. 8:27the [ __ ] what's that what is that huge
254. 8:30it's not looking good for wall street
255. 8:31bets right now at all what is that what
256. 8:33is that this could be it it's climbing
257. 8:36it's the climbing it's to the moon
258. 8:40oh
259. 8:42it [ __ ] died
260. 8:43the fish won
261. 8:45let's [ __ ] go red red [ __ ] you wall
262. 8:48street vets get [ __ ] on by the fish
263. 8:51[ __ ] girl
264. 8:56that settles it fish is the superior
265. 8:58technology so that's it right no i think
266. 9:00i can use this fish technology to create
267. 9:02a legitimate business i've been working
268. 9:03on a startup proposal for the last
269. 9:04couple of days and i have a meeting set
270. 9:06up to try and get some investors so i'm
271. 9:07gonna it's like a venture capitalist
272. 9:09startup meeting except it wasn't that at
273. 9:11all it was like this weird [ __ ] hype
274. 9:13house for startup founders so each one
275. 9:15of these people has started their own
276. 9:17company and the management has allowed
277. 9:18me to pitch my startup idea to them
278. 9:20hello everybody my name is michael i'm
279. 9:22here representing briefly a small
280. 9:23fintech startup you've seen it all
281. 9:25happening already articles like this
282. 9:27this this a lot of inexperienced people
283. 9:29are losing money in the stock market
284. 9:30that's where briefly fits in we have a
285. 9:32couple of algorithms going wsv mainly
286. 9:34sentiment analysis the second fish
287. 9:36tracks analyst movements wsb is
288. 9:38performing well below market average but
289. 9:40fish is outperforming the nasdaq by some
290. 9:4213 last quarter honestly the main reason
291. 9:45i'm here is because the performance of
292. 9:46that fish technology it's performing
293. 9:48very well but generally we think it can
294. 9:49be performing even better pretty sure it
295. 9:51comes down to a few things tank health
296. 9:53clarity like of the water
297. 9:55we're probably going to be improving
298. 9:56food and like better filters in general
299. 9:57i already covered that we need to know
300. 9:59how long the fish can perform looking
301. 10:01into the data the lifespan of the
302. 10:02species is generally around 8 to 12
303. 10:05years we think that with better water
304. 10:06parameters and more attention to the
305. 10:08food we can get up to an outlier of 20
306. 10:10plus years the fish name is frederick
307. 10:12and
308. 10:13that uh thank you do you have any
309. 10:16i have a lot of questions
310. 10:19so the fish is determined in your
311. 10:21stockpix
312. 10:23yeah it's fish it's the it's well it's
313. 10:25fish is the idea so um we've got a
314. 10:28front-facing camera the fish is prompted
315. 10:29with two stocks whichever side spends
316. 10:31more time on just that stock uh do you
317. 10:33have any more questions
318. 10:36you know not everyone can see the vision
319. 10:37and that's okay i'm not i'm sounding
320. 10:38like i'm mad i'm not not mad or anything
321. 10:40[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] why don't they
322. 10:44understand [ __ ]
323. 10:50i guess the world just isn't ready for
324. 10:52this technology all i wanted to do was
325. 10:54get super super super [ __ ] rich but
326. 10:56maybe i don't deserve it but i think i
327. 10:59know someone who does so i sold all the
328. 11:01stocks in the portfolio and withdrew the
329. 11:02money this is the exact amount of money
330. 11:04frederick has made so far one thousand
331. 11:06seven dollars and 59 cents can you
332. 11:09believe my goldfish made this and then i
333. 11:10went back to where i got him i got him
334. 11:12from this tank and now he's doing such
335. 11:14big things excuse me i'm looking to get
336. 11:16some like better filters and food
337. 11:17they're really good filters awesome i
338. 11:19will grab this what about food stuff
339. 11:21like this i'll have some fancy [ __ ]
340. 11:25the rest is for
341. 11:26[Music]
342. 11:27sorry that frederick
343. 11:27for frederick the rest of it
344. 11:30yeah the rest is for even keep the rest
345. 11:31frederick made it thank you
346. 11:37when michael why did it take you so long
347. 11:39to make the video i don't [ __ ] know
348. 11:41it feels like i blacked out for eight
349. 11:42months and still somehow managed to
350. 11:44procrastinate the video until the last
351. 11:46minute like a dumb ass but hey he's
352. 11:47still faster than internet historian
353. 11:49baby that's what matters and as for
354. 11:51frederick he made enough money to retire
355. 11:53he'll live out the rest of his days in
356. 11:54fish paradise
357. 11:57that's the end of the video thank you
358. 11:58for watching if you liked it you can
359. 12:00subscribe so you can catch my next
360. 12:01upload in 2025. shout out to um
361. 12:05frederick for making this possible shout
362. 12:07out to um god jesus catholic jesus oh i
363. 12:12made this poster for myself using the
364. 12:13data from frederick versus wall street
365. 12:15bets because all the graphs needed to be
366. 12:17an 8k so why not i figured i may as well
367. 12:19sell it so if you want it you can have
368. 12:21it and if you don't want it you do not
369. 12:23have to get it it is [ __ ] gargantuan
370. 12:25though it's like my height i mean i'm a
371. 12:27short [ __ ] person but like it's still
372. 12:29a gargantuan poster it's like five feet
373. 12:32long it has all the brands and when they
374. 12:34were bought by like who with the exact
375. 12:35times it's very it's it's it's lit if
376. 12:38you want it you can go to my new url
377. 12:40pissbaby.art is no longer my
378. 12:43store or whatever i just didn't like the
379. 12:44weird toilet humor i'm trying to go in
380. 12:47like a more elegant direction also i
381. 12:49forgot to renew the domain and so
382. 12:50somebody stole it so now
383. 12:53pissbaby.store is my new best friend it
384. 12:55doesn't matter you just click the thing
385. 12:57in the description anyway yeah thank you
386. 13:00for watching yeah okay goodbye see you
387. 13:02in a year
388. 13:05the sponsor of this video is public.com
389. 13:07do you wish you can buy and sell stocks
390. 13:09like frederick well you [ __ ] can't
391. 13:11he's special but if you want to get
392. 13:12close public is a great place to start
393. 13:14it's a commission free trading app where
394. 13:16you can buy and sell stocks follow
395. 13:17investors and share ideas aside from
396. 13:19taking zero commissions the big draw of
397. 13:21public is that you can follow other
398. 13:22investors look at their portfolios and
399. 13:24learn from them and on top of that
400. 13:25public will never sell your data or move
401. 13:27your trades through market makers which
402. 13:29is something i learned about when i was
403. 13:30making that uh [ __ ] presentation for
404. 13:32the the hype house launch house it can
405. 13:34cause conflicts of interest depending on
406. 13:36who owns what uh the green app does it
407. 13:39the other one that i'm not allowed to
408. 13:40say you can even follow me at [ __ ]
409. 13:42nugget okay um they said i couldn't use
410. 13:45that name so now it is at michael reeves
411. 13:47at michael reads in the public app where
412. 13:49i will be investing solely based on the
413. 13:51decisions made by my goldfish frederick
414. 13:53this is investing so there are risks but
415. 13:55if you understand those risks public is
416. 13:57an excellent place to start investing
417. 13:59and learning so if you're interested you
418. 14:00can sign up at my link in the
419. 14:02description and when you deposit you'll
420. 14:03get anywhere from three to three hundred
421. 14:05dollars in a fractional share thank you
422. 14:06again to public for sponsoring this
423. 14:08video it was their budget that went to
424. 14:09my goldfish and wall street bed spot for
425. 14:12investing so they don't know where that
426. 14:14went and this is how they will find out
427. 14:16thank you goodbye
428. 14:17[Music]
429. 14:50so
430. 14:54[Music]
431. 15:00i thought he was speaking in an extended
432. 15:02metaphor and i was like i love how
433. 15:04trained his mind is commits so intensely
434. 15:06to this analogy of the like the fish to
435. 15:08his algorithm yeah and then i was like
436. 15:11oh my god
437. 15:13[Music]