I Almost Gave Up. — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:29For one, that's really crazy because
2. 0:33almost as good as you can
3. 0:35you know, that's how your body works, so
4. 0:37that's why
5. 0:39she wears it out.
6. 0:43tighten it.
7. 0:45And then
8. 0:49That's why I didn't see it.
9. 0:53When you're not in the seat.
10. 0:57Don't worry.
11. 0:58Today I'm trying to treat it a little
12. 0:59different.
13. 1:00I woke up and I told myself
14. 1:03I don't care how the video comes out.
15. 1:05I'm not I'm done scripting. I'm done
16. 1:08thinking of head of like what I'm doing.
17. 1:10I'm genuinely just going to pick up the
18. 1:12camera when I think there is a
19. 1:13meaningful moment to record.
20. 1:17I'm on the way over to Hayden's house
21. 1:19and
22. 1:20I don't know why I've been thinking
23. 1:21about making a video videos for so long
24. 1:24now. I've been trying to
25. 1:26and it seems like everything's going to
26. 1:28go so right and then as soon as I pick
27. 1:30up the camera, it just all feels so
28. 1:32uncomfortable. I get nervous and it just
29. 1:35feels like I have to say something
30. 1:36profound or like something meaningful
31. 1:39when I
32. 1:40really need to be recording this. Like I
33. 1:43I'm struggling right now to even face
34. 1:44the camera, but I'm doing this cuz I
35. 1:47really want this to work out. I don't
36. 1:49know if it will,
37. 1:51but I know that if I don't try, I'm
38. 1:53going to be really really disappointed
39. 1:55in myself.
40. 1:57I'm just going to bring you guys with me
41. 1:58today. If something interesting happens,
42. 2:00then cool, something happens. If not,
43. 2:03I can stop stressing about not having
44. 2:05any videos out and just be fulfilled
45. 2:07with recording a video hopefully
46. 2:09stress-free. I just
47. 2:11I just want to be able to talk to you
48. 2:13guys, like I said, as if you were one of
49. 2:14my friends.
50. 2:19It is freaking beautiful today.
51. 2:22There they are.
52. 2:24Arena, the boys on the deck. I don't
53. 2:27know if you see them. Hey, they're
54. 2:29ripping the shed.
55. 2:36What's up?
56. 2:38>> Hey.
57. 2:39>> Yo, say what up to the YouTube.
58. 2:42Where's your glasses, sir?
59. 2:43>> Glasses acquired.
60. 2:45>> Yes, sir.
61. 2:45>> Hey, bro, it is so nice out.
62. 2:47>> Leaving the bro's house. Tried as hard
63. 2:50as I could to convince Hayden to come
64. 2:52lift with us, but he's going to chat
65. 2:54out.
66. 2:56All right, we are here. I uh I almost
67. 2:58convinced myself from not recording
68. 3:00today. Not because I didn't have time,
69. 3:02but just because I simply thought I I
70. 3:04didn't think I had anything meaningful
71. 3:05to say.
72. 3:07But then I realized that probably is
73. 3:08what's keeping a lot of people from
74. 3:10doing anything we want to do.
75. 3:12I always think I need some kind of crazy
76. 3:14motivational speech or something
77. 3:16prepared before I start pressing record,
78. 3:19and that just makes my mind start
79. 3:20rushing. And then when I do actually
80. 3:22record it, it just feels like I'm
81. 3:23performing.
82. 3:25Well, the uh the truth is I'm just I'm
83. 3:27trying to figure out my life right now
84. 3:29as it is. I'm I'm working a job I don't
85. 3:32want to work much longer at all. I'm
86. 3:35trying to build a physique that I've
87. 3:36never had before.
88. 3:38I'm trying to build something online
89. 3:40that I've never had experience with,
90. 3:42long-form content. It's just really
91. 3:44stressful kind of figuring it all out.
92. 3:46And most days it just feels like I don't
93. 3:48even know if it's all going to work out.
94. 3:50And that just eats me alive, but
95. 3:52that's why I love the gym so much. You
96. 3:54get what you put in. I just I wish that
97. 3:56applied to all forms of life.
98. 3:59That's right.
99. 4:01That's right. We're here.
100. 4:03Let's get it.
101. 4:04Just got here, and the gym is literally
102. 4:07empty. I've never seen it this empty
103. 4:10before.
104. 4:11It's like midday, too, which is the
105. 4:12weird thing. I've like actually never
106. 4:14seen this.
107. 4:16I've been working out here for a long
108. 4:17time.
109. 4:18This is a very rare thing. It is really
110. 4:20hot and nice outside, so people are
111. 4:22probably actually enjoying their summer,
112. 4:24but
113. 4:25I've got work, so I can't do that.
114. 4:28Anyways, we're about to take some pre.
115. 4:30>> [music]
116. 4:32>> Dry scoop it up. I am quitting Zoa right
117. 4:35now, so
118. 4:36try not to take any caffeine past like
119. 4:383:00.
120. 4:40Sleeping will just not be a thing.
121. 4:42Cheers.
122. 4:50Oh.
123. 4:53That was chunky as [ __ ]
124. 4:55If you're confused,
125. 4:56you're on a [ __ ] drinking powder.
126. 4:58I was just hitting a little
127. 5:01I've switched up my split for the first
128. 5:02time in a
129. 5:04I think like 2 years now. I have been
130. 5:06doing Wait, that's a lie. That's a lie.
131. 5:08I've been doing upper lower for about a
132. 5:10year now, and
133. 5:13I don't really know what it was, but
134. 5:14then I just was like, "You know what? I
135. 5:15I haven't changed around my split in so
136. 5:17long."
137. 5:19So, I'm just going back to the old roots
138. 5:20of push, pull, legs, and I'm really,
139. 5:22really excited. Anyways,
140. 5:24I think I'm going to have to check my
141. 5:26notes, but I think we start [music] with
142. 5:27incline press.
143. 5:29Strength has gone down exponentially.
144. 5:33Don't be uh looking forward to any kinds
145. 5:35of crazy lifts.
146. 5:38More so hoping the pump can make up for
147. 5:40that.
148. 5:41Still going to be putting in max effort.
149. 5:43You'll see what it looks like when I go
150. 5:44to failure. I'm so excited to just shove
151. 5:47my mouth full. I'm really debating
152. 5:49whether I want to
153. 5:51I know I'm going to keep it clean, but
154. 5:53full out track my calories or just
155. 5:56[ __ ] just eat as much as possible. I
156. 5:58know it's probably not the move, but
157. 6:01I just put on so much mass last time I
158. 6:03did that.
159. 6:04You guys let me know down in the
160. 6:05comments which you think is more uh
161. 6:06responsible.
162. 6:08Anyways, I'm going to throw it on a
163. 6:09plate.
164. 6:10See how it feels.
165. 6:18Feels pretty good.
166. 6:21I'm going to stay [ __ ] brown 35. I
167. 6:23hope it's not too much.
168. 6:25Remember, I'm 163 lb right now, okay?
169. 6:32>> [music]
170. 6:42[music]
171. 6:50[music]
172. 6:55>> Connection terminated.
173. 6:57I'm sorry to interrupt [music] you,
174. 6:58Elizabeth, if you still even remember
175. 7:00that name,
176. 7:02but I'm afraid you've been misinformed.
177. 7:03[music]
178. 7:04You are not here to receive a gift, nor
179. 7:07have you been called here by [music] the
180. 7:08individual you assume,
181. 7:10although you have indeed been called.
182. 7:13You have all been called
183. 7:15into a labyrinth of sounds and smells,
184. 7:17misdirection, and misfortune. A
185. 7:20labyrinth with no exit, a maze [music]
186. 7:22with no prize.
187. 7:23>> There he is.
188. 7:24>> even realize you're trapped.
189. 7:27>> [music]
190. 7:27>> You think I wanted to become this?
191. 7:30You think I woke up one day and chose to
192. 7:32carry all this weight?
193. 7:34I wanted a normal life, to laugh without
194. 7:38guilt, to breathe [music] without
195. 7:40feeling like the world was closing in.
196. 7:43But that wasn't an option.
197. 7:45Not for me.
198. 7:47Not for any of us.
199. 7:49From the moment I opened my eyes,
200. 7:51everything [music] was a fight.
201. 7:53Every dream I had crushed under someone
202. 7:55else's boot. They told us to wait, to
203. 7:58hope, to trust [music] the world would
204. 8:00change on its own.
205. 8:02But it didn't.
206. 8:03So I changed.
207. 8:05I did what had to be done, [music]
208. 8:06even when it broke me.
209. 8:08Even when it made people I loved look at
210. 8:10me like a stranger.
211. 8:12I never wanted to be feared. [music]
212. 8:14But I'd rather be hated and free than
213. 8:17loved [music] and caged. You see a
214. 8:19monster. I see a man who finally said
215. 8:22enough. Enough of dying [music] quietly.
216. 8:26Enough of waiting to be saved. So I
217. 8:29became [music] the storm. Not because I
218. 8:32wanted to, but because the world gave me
219. 8:35no other choice.
220. 8:36And if that makes me the villain, fine.
221. 8:40>> [music]
222. 8:40>> But don't act like you would have done
223. 8:42anything different.
224. 8:52>> [music]
225. 9:01[music]
226. 9:09[music]
227. 9:17[music]
228. 9:22[music]
229. 9:26[music]
230. 9:35[music]
231. 9:41[music]
232. 9:45>> Ladies and gentlemen
233. 9:47What?
234. 9:51Bro, my phone is literally out of
235. 9:52storage. I'll try to get a I'm literally
236. 9:54completely out of iPhone storage. I keep
237. 9:56on [ __ ] trying to get a clip check
238. 9:58in. I probably don't even have a pump
239. 9:59anymore.
240. 10:00I just need to buy a [ __ ] camera,
241. 10:02bro. My phone is not cutting it anymore.
242. 10:07I would say I'm definitely leaner
243. 10:11than last video.
244. 10:15I don't know. You guys tell me. Is the
245. 10:16uh
246. 10:17fat for strength trade-off worth it?
247. 10:20Is this cool enough?
248. 10:22That was honestly an amazing workout. My
249. 10:24pump was exactly what I was hoping for.
250. 10:27Although I couldn't even [ __ ] record
251. 10:28it cuz I'm running out of space. I just
252. 10:30had to delete YouTube so that I'd have
253. 10:33enough storage just to film this. Uh I'm
254. 10:35going to finish I'm going to try to
255. 10:36figure it out when I'm break at work.
256. 10:38See if I can clear up any more storage,
257. 10:39but I think I'm genuinely just going to
258. 10:41have to like buy a camera for this,
259. 10:43which I really
260. 10:45other than the money wouldn't mind.
261. 10:47Cuz then I could just hook it straight
262. 10:48up to my PC. It would make editing so
263. 10:50much easier, but
264. 10:51anyways,
265. 10:53>> [clears throat]
266. 10:53>> now that we're done with that awesome
267. 10:54workout, I am going to clock in to the
268. 10:56hell shift.
269. 10:58But I have some fun plans for after
270. 11:00work, so I'm going to keep my hopes up
271. 11:02and hopefully hopefully it goes by
272. 11:04pretty fast and isn't super busy cuz
273. 11:08>> [sighs]
274. 11:08>> just I'm not trying to work right now,
275. 11:10bro.
276. 11:11Um
277. 11:13yeah, I don't know if all of you guys
278. 11:15know, but I work in a kitchen, so
279. 11:18not like I mean it's physically
280. 11:20demanding, but like mentally
281. 11:22[ __ ] is stressful.
282. 11:24It's a lot of [ __ ] to forget about and
283. 11:26[ __ ] up,
284. 11:27but it's all good.
285. 11:28Making money.
286. 11:30>> Hello.
287. 11:31>> I'll see you guys afterward. I have some
288. 11:32fun plans with the Maddie. So, yeah,
289. 11:35we'll be having some fun. I think we're
290. 11:36going to play a little bit of Guitar
291. 11:38Hero or something. So, I'll see you guys
292. 11:40then, but wish me luck on this hell
293. 11:42shift. This is one more clock in closer
294. 11:44to never [ __ ] walking back in this
295. 11:45place.
296. 11:46Halfway through. Wait. Almost at the end
297. 11:49of this terrible shift. It was so busy
298. 11:51today, but it's so much better now cuz I
299. 11:53just saw my boy. He used to work here
300. 11:55with me, Isaiah. He's the one that got
301. 11:57me getting closer to God and whatnot. So
302. 11:59grateful for this man. So happy to see
303. 12:01him.
304. 12:02>> Finally.
305. 12:03>> Finally done with work. That was the
306. 12:05longest shift ever. It was so busy for
307. 12:08no reason. It's a Wednesday and
308. 12:10everybody and their grandma and grandpa
309. 12:12came today for some reason.
310. 12:14It was packed. And since it's a
311. 12:16Wednesday, there's only Well, there's
312. 12:18two cooks always, but usually on Friday
313. 12:20and Saturday we have two platers. And
314. 12:22I'm a plater, so I like set up all the
315. 12:24food. I They'll hand me all of the food
316. 12:27and I dice it up,
317. 12:29make the tacos. Like there's steak
318. 12:30tacos. I have to like
319. 12:32put down the pesto, put everything. I
320. 12:34got to do everything. And
321. 12:36it was awful. It was so terrible. I'm so
322. 12:38happy I'm finally done and I'm here with
323. 12:41my girlfriend at her house and we're
324. 12:43about to sip on just a little bit of
325. 12:46>> water.
326. 12:47>> You know, just to help me dry me out in
327. 12:48the morning. Cuz we
328. 12:51That's all we're worried about. Just
329. 12:52getting lean and [ __ ] you know.
330. 12:54>> [laughter]
331. 12:55>> But we're going to have a little bit
332. 12:56fun. We're going to play some Guitar
333. 12:57Hero and rewind a little bit. I'm super
334. 13:00excited to have a chill night
335. 13:02hang out with my lovely girlfriend.
336. 13:04Thank you guys for watching this part of
337. 13:05the video. I hope that I see you in the
338. 13:06next one. And until then, see you.