how to train your brain to crave doing hard things — Transcript

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1. 0:00If you often need to force yourself to
2. 0:01work out or study or focus or do
3. 0:04anything difficult, you probably don't
4. 0:06need more discipline. What you need is
5. 0:08to change what your brain has learned to
6. 0:09associate with effort. Because craving
7. 0:11hard things doesn't necessarily mean you
8. 0:13enjoy discomfort. It means that you've
9. 0:15trained your brain to associate effort
10. 0:17with reward, progress, and something
11. 0:19worth doing again. And science can
12. 0:21actually give us some really useful
13. 0:22clues. So, here are three things that
14. 0:24you can implement to crave doing hard
15. 0:26things. First thing is to stop making
16. 0:28relief the reward for quitting. Imagine
17. 0:30you're studying. 20 minutes in, you feel
18. 0:32uncomfortable, so you want to check your
19. 0:34phone. And so you stop studying, you
20. 0:35open TikTok, and then you feel relief.
21. 0:38The problem is that the relief itself
22. 0:40can reinforce what you did. There's a
23. 0:42basic principle in behavioral psychology
24. 0:44called negative reinforcement. If a
25. 0:45behavior removes something unpleasant,
26. 0:47that relief can make you more likely to
27. 0:49repeat that behavior. So, if every time
28. 0:51effort becomes uncomfortable and you
29. 0:53escape it, you may accidentally get very
30. 0:56good at escaping effort. So, instead,
31. 0:58decide before you start when you're
32. 1:00allowed to stop. Maybe you can say, "I'm
33. 1:02going to do 20 minutes of this work, and
34. 1:04then from there I'm going to take a
35. 1:05break." Now, when minute 12 becomes
36. 1:06uncomfortable, you aren't asking, "Do I
37. 1:08still feel like doing this?" The
38. 1:10decision has already been made. So, all
39. 1:12you have to do is teach yourself that
40. 1:13discomfort doesn't automatically mean
41. 1:15that you can stop. Second is reward the
42. 1:17behavior before you have the results. A
43. 1:19lot of ambitious people accidentally
44. 1:21make the effort incredibly unrewarding.
45. 1:23For example, you studied for 3 hours.
46. 1:25Doesn't matter if you haven't passed the
47. 1:26exam yet. You worked out all week.
48. 1:28Doesn't matter if you don't look
49. 1:29different yet. You worked on your
50. 1:30business. Doesn't matter it hadn't
51. 1:32succeeded. So, you repeatedly put in
52. 1:34effort while withholding any sense of
53. 1:36reward until that final outcome arrives.
54. 1:39And this is where learned
55. 1:39industriousness becomes really
56. 1:41interesting. This theory proposes that
57. 1:43when high effort is repeatedly
58. 1:45reinforced, some of that reward value
59. 1:47can become associated with the
60. 1:49experience of effort itself. So, create
61. 1:51something immediate that tells you that
62. 1:53effort counted. Mark the workout off or
63. 1:55track your deep work sessions or keep
64. 1:57count of difficult things that you
65. 1:59completed this week. The outcome still
66. 2:00matters, of course, but don't make the
67. 2:01outcome the only time that effort feels
68. 2:03successful. Third thing is to give hard
69. 2:05things an immediate reward. Hard things
70. 2:07usually have terrible reward timing.
71. 2:09Studying feels difficult now, the grades
72. 2:11come later. Working out is hard now, the
73. 2:13physical changes come later. Saving
74. 2:15money costs you something now, the
75. 2:16benefit comes later. Meanwhile, a lot of
76. 2:18easier behaviors give you rewards
77. 2:20instantly. If you want to curve doing
78. 2:22hard things, you need to bring some of
79. 2:23the reward closer. There's actually a
80. 2:25behavioral strategy called temptation
81. 2:27bundling. This is when you combine
82. 2:28something you should do with something
83. 2:29you already want to do. Researchers
84. 2:31tested this by giving people tempting
85. 2:33audio books they can listen to while
86. 2:34exercising. Initially, participants with
87. 2:36the strongest version of the temptation
88. 2:38bundle visited the gym substantially
89. 2:40more often than the control group. So,
90. 2:42maybe you want to listen to your
91. 2:43favorite audio book, or podcast, or
92. 2:45music with the gym, or have a nice
93. 2:48coffee with studying, or listen to your
94. 2:50favorite playlist while cleaning, or
95. 2:52something of the sort. And the lesson
96. 2:53isn't to bribe yourself forever. It's
97. 2:55just to stop designing difficult
98. 2:57behaviors, so that way every cost
99. 2:59happens now, and every reward happens
100. 3:01months from now. Fourth is make yourself
101. 3:03feel like you can win even with
102. 3:05difficulty. People decide they want to
103. 3:07become disciplined and immediately make
104. 3:09everything insanely difficult. They go
105. 3:11from no studying to 4 hours, or no
106. 3:13running to 5 miles, or no waking up
107. 3:16early to waking up at 4:00 a.m. or
108. 3:18something like that. And then they fail
109. 3:20and conclude that I'm terrible at doing
110. 3:22hard things. But, that's not necessarily
111. 3:23the case. There's a useful idea in
112. 3:25psychology called self-efficacy, which
113. 3:27is basically your belief that you're
114. 3:29capable of successfully doing something.
115. 3:31Research has found that actually
116. 3:33experiencing yourself succeeding at
117. 3:35difficult tasks can strengthen those
118. 3:37expectations of capability. Instead of
119. 3:39thinking, "I need to do 4 hours of deep
120. 3:42work," start with, "I'm going to do one
121. 3:44interrupted 40-minute block." And then
122. 3:46maybe 50, and then an hour. And you're
123. 3:48collecting evidence that says, "This is
124. 3:49hard, but I can still do it." And that
125. 3:51allows you to train successful effort
126. 3:53rather than just training maximum
127. 3:55suffering. Fifth is to make starting
128. 3:57boringly predictable. You don't want
129. 3:59every hard thing to require a decision
130. 4:01because if every workout starts with,
131. 4:03"Should I go?" and every study session
132. 4:05starts with, "When should I start?"
133. 4:07you're adding another difficult task
134. 4:08before that difficult task even starts,
135. 4:10which is deciding. So, instead connect
136. 4:12the behavior to something predictable.
137. 4:14After breakfast, you're going to study.
138. 4:16At 8:00 a.m., I'm going to train. When I
139. 4:18get to the library, my phone goes in the
140. 4:19bag like that. And this is actually a
141. 4:21concept called implementation
142. 4:22intentions. Instead of simply saying, "I
143. 4:24want to study more." you connect your
144. 4:26behavior to a specific situation of when
145. 4:28X happens, I do Y. Research has found
146. 4:31that these plans can make goal-directed
147. 4:32behavior easier to initiate when that
148. 4:34situation actually arrives. So, don't
149. 4:36decide on consistently choosing when to
150. 4:38start. Give starting a cue. Sixth is to
151. 4:40create a difficult task ritual. You want
152. 4:43to give effort a recognizable
153. 4:44atmosphere. Maybe it's the same desk,
154. 4:46maybe it's the same drink, maybe it's
155. 4:48your phone somewhere else, maybe it's a
156. 4:49specific playlist, maybe it's a timer
157. 4:51that's on. And then, this overlaps with
158. 4:53something that researchers studying
159. 4:55habits have found where when behaviors
160. 4:57are repeatedly performed in a consistent
161. 4:59context, they can gradually become more
162. 5:01automatic. That doesn't mean that
163. 5:02difficult work eventually requires zero
164. 5:05effort. It means a sequence that can get
165. 5:06you into work can require less
166. 5:08deliberation. You're essentially trying
167. 5:10to build a switch of your normal life
168. 5:12and then work mode or focus mode or
169. 5:15anything of the sort. And your
170. 5:16environment should eventually make
171. 5:18starting easier than arguing with
172. 5:20yourself. Seventh is to stop treating
173. 5:22discomfort like something has gone
174. 5:23wrong. And this is incredibly important
175. 5:25because if every moment of boredom gets
176. 5:27filled with your phone or every workout
177. 5:29stops the second it burns or every
178. 5:31frustrating task gets abandoned
179. 5:33immediately, then you never get that
180. 5:35much practice staying inside that
181. 5:38effort. And effort is naturally
182. 5:39something our brain often treats as a
183. 5:41cost. There's an interesting phenomenon
184. 5:43that researchers call the effort
185. 5:45paradox. And this is where we attempt to
186. 5:47avoid effort because it's costly while
187. 5:49at the same time sometimes valuing
188. 5:51outcomes or activities because they
189. 5:53require effort. So think finishing a
190. 5:55difficult task or learning a difficult
191. 5:57skill, completing a brutal workout,
192. 5:59building something you weren't sure you
193. 6:01could. That difficulty becomes part of
194. 6:03what makes that result meaningful. So
195. 6:05the goal isn't to seek suffering, of
196. 6:07course, but it is to stop automatically
197. 6:10interpreting this feels hard with I
198. 6:12shouldn't be doing this. Sometimes hard
199. 6:14just means that you're currently
200. 6:15exerting effort. Eight is to keep a
201. 6:17scoreboard of things that you did
202. 6:19despite resistance. At the end of the
203. 6:20week, don't only ask yourself, what did
204. 6:22I accomplish? Ask yourself, what did I
205. 6:25do even though I didn't feel like doing
206. 6:27it? Maybe you trained when you wanted to
207. 6:28stay home. Maybe you sent the
208. 6:30application you felt super nervous
209. 6:31about. Maybe you studied when you wanted
210. 6:33to scroll. Or maybe you had that really
211. 6:35difficult conversation. And why does
212. 6:36this matter? Because those experiences
213. 6:39give you mastery evidence. Research on
214. 6:41self-efficacy suggests that experiences
215. 6:44of successfully performing difficult
216. 6:45behaviors can change what you expect
217. 6:47yourself to be capable of doing in the
218. 6:49future. So eventually, I don't feel like
219. 6:51doing this doesn't automatically mean I
220. 6:53probably won't do it because you have
221. 6:55evidence that says otherwise. Ninth is
222. 6:57don't try to crave every hard thing
223. 6:59because there's a difference between
224. 7:00learning to tolerate effort and making
225. 7:02your life unnecessarily difficult. Your
226. 7:04brain actually weighs effort against
227. 7:06potential reward when deciding whether
228. 7:08something is worth doing. And there are
229. 7:10several neuroscience models of
230. 7:11effort-based decision-making built
231. 7:13around this basic trade-off of what will
232. 7:15this cost me versus what am I getting
233. 7:17for it? So don't make things difficult
234. 7:19just for the sake of difficulty.
235. 7:20Instead, ask yourself, is this effort
236. 7:22worth something to me? Maybe it's that
237. 7:24difficult workout that makes you
238. 7:26stronger. That's probably useful. Maybe
239. 7:28it's a difficult conversation that needs
240. 7:30to fix an important problem. That's
241. 7:32probably necessary. But a ridiculously
242. 7:34complicated routine because someone told
243. 7:36you that suffering equals discipline,
244. 7:38maybe not. So use difficulty when it
245. 7:41allows you to obtain something valuable.
246. 7:43And tenth is to give yourself something
247. 7:44hard enough to be proud of. This is
248. 7:46eventually where hard things can become
249. 7:48desirable because easy things can give
250. 7:50you pleasure, but difficult things can
251. 7:52give you something else. That is
252. 7:54evidence about yourself. You learn
253. 7:55something you originally couldn't
254. 7:56understand. You built something you
255. 7:58didn't think you could build. You were
256. 7:59able to stay composed in a situation
257. 8:01that would have overwhelmed you before.
258. 8:02And interestingly, research on effort
259. 8:04suggests that effort doesn't only create
260. 8:06a cost. Under certain conditions, it can
261. 8:08actually increase how much we value what
262. 8:11comes from it. There's even experimental
263. 8:12research suggesting that exerting more
264. 8:14effort can strengthen learning from
265. 8:16positive outcomes. So eventually, you're
266. 8:17not necessarily craving pain, but you're
267. 8:20craving the progress that comes with
268. 8:21effort. So if you want to become someone
269. 8:23who does hard things, you don't need to
270. 8:25wake up tomorrow super early in the
271. 8:27morning and intentionally make your life
272. 8:29miserable. That's not what craving hard
273. 8:30things is about. It's teaching your
274. 8:32brain that there's a different pattern.
275. 8:34Make the challenge feel like a win. Give
276. 8:36a starting cue. Stop escaping the second
277. 8:39it feels uncomfortable. Reward the
278. 8:41effort instead of only the final result.
279. 8:43And keep giving yourself evidence that
280. 8:45difficult things lead to something
281. 8:46worthwhile. Because eventually, that
282. 8:48feeling of I don't feel like doing this
283. 8:50doesn't have to be the reason to stop.
284. 8:52And it can be the beginning of another
285. 8:54rep. So you don't crave hard things by
286. 8:56learning to love suffering. You learn to
287. 8:58crave them by teaching your brain that
288. 9:00effort leads somewhere worth going. So I
289. 9:02hope that helps. I hope to see you soon.
290. 9:05And best of luck. Bye.