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How To Tell Better Stories Than 99% Of People (5 Steps) — Transcript

by Philipp Humm · 3,973 words · 545 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00the most successful speakers creators
0:03and leaders know how to tell insanely
0:05good stories and I wanted to do the same
0:08but when I started on this journey I
0:10quickly ran into three problems first I
0:12didn't know what stories to tell second
0:14I didn't know how to tell a story in
0:15actually an interesting way and third I
0:18just didn't feel confident to share
0:20stories and to solve these problems I
0:22interviewed for professional speakers
0:24read 41 books on storytelling and tried
0:26lots of crazy stuff on the way as part
0:29of that give Vel a five-step system on
0:31how to tell better stories than 99% of
0:34the people that system will help you
0:36have this abundance of story will help
0:38you turn any average moment into the
0:41most captivating story and to feel
0:43finally confident to share stories in
0:45any situation let's go step one
0:48structure stories when I started on my
0:51storytelling journey I had this moment
0:53that made me question how storytelling
0:55is taught 2020 I took this very
0:58expensive storytelling course here in
1:00the Netherlands and in that course they
1:02taught the hero's journey the hero's
1:04journey is that beautiful story
1:05structure consists of 17 steps and is
1:08pretty much used in any Hollywood movie
1:10like Lord of the Rings or Star Wars the
1:13structure that they teach in all these
1:14courses out there is useful for big
1:17stages but it's completely useless for
1:19the stories we tell in front of our
1:21friends or at work those casual stories
1:24should be between 1 and 2 minutes that's
1:27it in 1 to 2 minutes you don't have time
1:29to cover the 17 steps of the hero's
1:32journey once I realized that I studied
1:35all the structures out there and I tried
1:37to pull out the parts that worked really
1:39well after doing that for a few weeks I
1:42developed a structure that changed my
1:44life it consists of four steps c a r t
1:48context adversity resolution takeaway
1:51now you can think of your story
1:53structure like this card in the
1:54supermarket holds together all the
1:57awesome ingredients or elements of your
1:58story or I guess um if you're a little
2:01bit simpler like me then just remember
2:03it rhymes on fart step one context in
2:06the first step you want to give some
2:08rough context where and when does it
2:10take place who's the main character and
2:12what does that character want example it
2:14was October 2023 when I went for this
2:17big walk through cental Park in New York
2:19on that day I wanted to take some
2:21pictures for my mom whose birthday was
2:23coming up in just a few days now that
2:26could be the context who when where what
2:29boom try to set the scene in just a few
2:32sentences so that you move to the most
2:34important part of the story as quickly
2:36as possible step two adversity soon into
2:39the story it's time to introduce the
2:41adversity or the challenge that that
2:43main character faces and that can be any
2:46challenge difficult decision a physical
2:49challenge an emotional challenge another
2:51person anything as long as it's
2:53substantial to that main character
2:56example as I was walking home I reached
2:58into my pockets but then I
3:01realized my phone was missing I double
3:05checked every single pocket on my pants
3:07but still wasn't there immedia stetch to
3:09panic Fu that phone has hundreds of
3:12photos for my mom and I don't have any
3:14backups for that weeks of work just gone
3:18the challenge is the longest and also
3:20the most crucial part of any story
3:22describe the struggle show what is at
3:25stake and let the listeners know how the
3:27character feels step three resolution
3:31next let your listeners know how the
3:33character responds to that challenge
3:35what are the actions reactions decisions
3:37taking to overcome that challenge how
3:40does it turn out at the end example
3:43right at that moment someone tapped me
3:45on my shoulder turn around and I see
3:47what this jogger he asked um excuse me
3:51you seem like you're looking for
3:53something is there anything missing I
3:54said yeah I lost my phone with all the
3:56photos on it right in that moment I
3:59noticed this
4:00smile emerging from his lips he reached
4:03into his pockets and pulled out my phone
4:06and handed it to me I couldn't help but
4:09jump around his neck and just give him
4:11this big hug up to this point well that
4:14story is an interesting story but your
4:16listeners don't really know why you're
4:18sharing the story with them that's when
4:20you move into the last step of the story
4:23step four takeaway and the last step let
4:26your listeners know what you learn from
4:28that experience what did you realize
4:30what's the point of the story example
4:33what I learned from that experience is
4:35that there are honest people in this
4:37world will do the right thing but I
4:39guess also to start backing up my phone
4:42when you share that takeaway watch out
4:44not to say you should takeway or the
4:46moral of the story is why not well
4:49you'll just come across as this preacher
4:51no one likes a preacher so the better
4:53way is to frame it as what I learn from
4:55that experience is X Y and Z it's a much
4:58more subtle much more inviting way to
5:00tell the takeaway that structure has
5:03given my stories this super solid
5:05foundation I use it in all of my stories
5:08and it has really helped me tell much
5:10better stories than I'd say 30% of the
5:13people but after sharing more and more
5:15of these stories I noticed that some of
5:17my stories still didn't land too well
5:20and at that point I didn't get it like
5:22hey I have this incredible story
5:24structure why do I still keep losing
5:26people at first I didn't know but soon
5:29soon I found the answer step two enhance
5:32stories and one day I joined this free
5:34storytelling master class and even
5:36though I didn't expect too much of that
5:38class it changed the way I thought about
5:40storytelling forever now right in the
5:43first few minutes the speaker shared a
5:44story about spilling coffee over his
5:47white shirt I know sounds super boring
5:49right nothing special but the way he
5:52shared the story was beyond anything
5:54I've ever seen from the first second he
5:57hoped me into the story I was on the
5:59atch of my my seat throughout the entire
6:01story dying to find out what would
6:03happen next but it was obviously not
6:05because of the story because hey coffee
6:06over shirt not special but it was
6:09because of the techniques that he used
6:11after hearing that story I sat at my
6:13desk thinking wow this was so freaking
6:16powerful I got to find out what
6:18techniques that guy was using for 4
6:20years I studied tons of videos books and
6:23courses to find out what makes a story
6:26great 100 pages of notes later I've
6:28boiled it down to 20 techniques that the
6:31best storytellers use I'll actually
6:33include a link to document that shows
6:35you all the 20 techniques in the
6:37description below but hey as we don't
6:39have the time to cover all the
6:40techniques in this video I'm going to
6:42share with you my three favorite
6:44techniques that I use the most if you
6:46only use those three techniques you'll
6:49tell better stories than 60% of the
6:51people out there first technique raise
6:54questions your job as a Storyteller is
6:56to make your audience want to know more
6:59they should be on the edges of their
7:00seat dying to find out how the story
7:03continues and one simple technique is to
7:05raise questions example right when I was
7:08leaving the park I realized something
7:10terrible immedately my heart started
7:12pounding against my chest in full panic
7:14mode I emptied every single pocket
7:17trying to find it only to realize it was
7:21gone each one of these sentences makes
7:23you wonder wait what is that terrible
7:25thing that you realized what are you
7:26looking for what was gone the best
7:29stories raise questions in your
7:31listener's mind so for your story think
7:33how can you anticipate the interesting
7:36stuff that is about to come you can say
7:38for example last year I had an
7:40experience that completely changed my
7:42outlook on life or yesterday I had the
7:46worst meeting of my entire life or right
7:49in that moment when I thought it cannot
7:51get any worse that's when I got an email
7:53from my manager anticipate what is about
7:55to come second technique share the
7:58thoughts the best stories take us on
8:00this emotional roller coaster the
8:03simplest way to make any story more
8:04emotional is to share the character's
8:07thoughts what was that character
8:08thinking in that crucial moment of the
8:11story what were the hopes the goals the
8:14plans the fears in that specific moment
8:17example I thought shoot weeks of Works
8:21memories and hundreds of photos gone my
8:25mom will be so disappointed why do I
8:28keep losing things
8:30I know when we speak we often try to
8:31sound super intelligent super
8:33sophisticated but don't do that when
8:35sharing the thoughts give us the raw
8:38unfiltered thought that will make it
8:40much more interesting third technique
8:43share the dialogue often our stories
8:45will have more than one character maybe
8:47there's this one person that helped you
8:49maybe there's this one person that
8:50really pissed you off maybe there's this
8:52customer that you helped whoever it is
8:54now you can bring your story to Life by
8:57sharing some of the dialogue of that
9:00crucial moment what were the exact words
9:03that one of the characters said in that
9:05crucial moment of the story example
9:08right in that moment I feel a tap on my
9:10shoulder I turn around and it's this
9:12jogger he says uh excuse me are you
9:15looking for something I said yes I lost
9:17my phone it has all its photos on it and
9:20it's gone well um is it an iPhone I said
9:23yes it's an iPhone with a cheeky smile
9:26he reaches into his pocket and he pulls
9:29out my phone you can share a full-blown
9:32conversation going back and forth or you
9:34can just have one exclamation by one of
9:37the characters that's up to you the key
9:39is to use this very concise and catchy
9:42language when I started using those
9:44three techniques A Whole New World
9:46opened up for me I started sharing
9:48stories really anywhere I could some in
9:50front of my friends some in front of my
9:52co-workers and even sometimes on stage
9:55but after a few weeks I started running
9:58into a problem I realized that I don't
10:01have any more interesting stories that I
10:02could share I already recycled my three
10:04stories a few times now how can I have
10:08more interesting stories at first I
10:10didn't have the answer I just thought
10:12that hey I need to have a crazier more
10:15adventurous life I only found the answer
10:17once I discovered one book step three
10:20find Stories the book that has helped me
10:23have this abundance of stories is called
10:26story worthy by Matthew dicks it's this
10:29one wonderful book with lots of good
10:30nuggets but there were two exercises
10:33that have helped me build this story
10:35library of hundreds of stories first
10:37exercise first best last worst that
10:41first exercise helped me to remember
10:42these stories that I had long forgotten
10:44about now for that I take out a piece of
10:47paper and I draw five columns in the
10:49First Column I put prompt in the second
10:51column I put first then last then best
10:54and then worst after that I fill in the
10:56prompts prompts can be anything that
10:59triggers a memory gift travel job uh
11:03Book car hobby injury anything that
11:06triggers a memory let's say that my prom
11:09was gift I then asked myself hm what was
11:13my first gift a yeah it was that
11:17chainsaw that I got when I was like 3
11:18years old I then put chainsaw below that
11:21now then I go to the next question what
11:23was my last gift H that was probably
11:27that weighted blanket I got for my
11:28birthday to sleep better and then put
11:30waed blanket then I go to the next
11:32question what was my best gift oh yes
11:36that was definitely that train ticket to
11:37Spain and then I go into the last one
11:40what was my worst gift H oh yes that was
11:44that Peppermill I got for my best
11:46friends for my 30th birthday you
11:50guys for that now at this point I don't
11:52Fletch out any story yet I just note
11:55down one or two words that help me
11:57remember that story I then do the same
12:00thing for the next prompt once I've then
12:02done that exercise for a few prompts I
12:04then review my entries and I ask myself
12:08do any of these memories Stand Out is is
12:11there maybe anything that is a little
12:12bit more entertaining a little bit more
12:14emotional or maybe more interesting if
12:17yes well that's my story actually to
12:20save you time creating that table I'll
12:22include a template with my favorite
12:24prompts in the description below first
12:26last best worse is this super fun way to
12:29uncover these stories that you've long
12:31forgotten from the past but hey there's
12:33another exercise to spot stories in the
12:36present moment right in the moment when
12:39they emerge the exercise I'm about to
12:41share is actually the only exercise I've
12:44done consistently every single day for 3
12:48years now second exercise homework for
12:50Life homework for life is an exercise to
12:53help you spot your story worthy moments
12:56every single day now how does it work at
12:58the end of each day I take a moment and
12:59I ask myself hm if I had to tell a story
13:03from today what would it be what would
13:05be that one moment that stood out the
13:08one moment that touched my heart maybe
13:10it was that funny conversation maybe
13:13some small thing that annointed me or
13:14maybe some realization and now once I
13:17have that moment I not down that date
13:19and that story worthy moment example
13:22today is August 6 and my story worthy
13:24moment
13:25was feeling grateful after my 9 km run
13:29through the park without knee pain now
13:32just as context this was huge for me
13:33because I've had stopped running for
13:35like 7 years after an injury on my knees
13:38so big moment now that was my story
13:41worthy moment um actually I love to hear
13:44from you what was your story worthy
13:46moment from today let me know in the
13:49comments so what happened once I started
13:52doing that exercise more and more at
13:55first my entries were quite boring and
13:57rather unspecific actually one of them
14:00was oh today I enjoyed my peanut butter
14:03sandwich but after a few weeks I started
14:06to notice more and more meaningful
14:09moments I now have minimum one super
14:12interesting moment every week that could
14:14be turned to this incredible story now
14:18you can do the math right if just one
14:20out of seven moments per week is a bit
14:22more interesting that's 52 stories per
14:25year that's 156 stories in 3 years
14:29Isn't that cool but to turn those
14:32moments into story I do some extra work
14:34I take that moment craft a story run
14:37that moment with the structure and the
14:38elements you learned and then put it
14:40into my story Bank a story bank is this
14:43central place where I capture classify
14:46and remember my stories now what do I
14:49capture in there I try to keep it pretty
14:51simple so check five things I capture
14:53the title the point of the story a
14:56summary use case and a rating that's it
14:59I try to keep it as simple as possible I
15:01personally like to save my stories in
15:03oce so that I can access them anytime
15:05when I'm also traveling but hey you can
15:07use really any tool that works for you
15:10if it's Google Docs notion or even a
15:12journal it doesn't matter pick the tool
15:15that is the easiest for you that causes
15:18the least friction but actually let me
15:20link a template of my story Bank in the
15:22description below so that you don't have
15:24to waste hours and hours creating one
15:26yourself I started my story Bank around
15:294 years ago and every time I encounter a
15:31new story I keep adding it to that story
15:34Bank sure hey it takes me a few minutes
15:36to put that in my story bank but I'm
15:38happy to spend that time because I know
15:41that I'll be able to use that story for
15:43really the rest of my life if you use
15:46that structure we talked about and you
15:48sprinkle in some of the techniques you
15:50just learned and then actually save it
15:52in your story bag you be a better
15:54Storyteller than 80% of the people out
15:57there but hey to unlock this this last
15:5920% and to become and to be part of this
16:02top 1% of storytellers there are two
16:04more steps that you need to master step
16:07four practice stories when I started
16:10practicing my stories I rehearsed in
16:12front of a mirror because that's pretty
16:14much what everyone told me but soon I
16:17realized that that was terrible advice
16:20now why because it's completely
16:23unnatural to see yourself while speaking
16:26the only thing that happened was that I
16:27got more self conscious about how I
16:30looked I was like huh wait a second do
16:33do I always look that tired huh really I
16:37didn't know that I had wrinkles up here
16:39Sho rehearsing in front of a mirror is
16:42not helpful I found it much more helpful
16:45to rehearse my stories while speaking
16:47out loud in my room often I pick random
16:50objects in my room as my imaginary
16:52audience for example my water bottle is
16:55one person then a photo frame is another
16:57person then maybe my dog is another
17:00person as my imaginary audience so what
17:02I do then I share my story and I try to
17:04hold deliberate eye contact with each
17:07one of the objects for a few seconds I
17:10usually try to rehearse my stories two
17:12to three times before I shareed with an
17:15actual audience now two to three times
17:17is enough to get comfortable with the
17:19story but not really enough to rehearse
17:22every single word of the story but once
17:25I've rehearsed then a few times I then
17:27try to share the story with someone I
17:29know to get feedback at first I asked my
17:32friends and family if I could share my
17:34stories they obviously agreed because
17:36they like me um but after some time I
17:39started to feel more and more Awkward
17:41about it I was like um man I don't know
17:44whether I can ask my best friend I've
17:46already asked him seven times to listen
17:47to my stories pretty boring him to death
17:50I thought of getting a storytelling
17:51coach but I quickly realized that those
17:53coaches were way too expensive good ones
17:57cost $200 an hour excellent ones can
18:00cost up to1 thousand an hour but that's
18:03when I discovered something that has
18:05helped me make the biggest jump as a
18:07Storyteller I get an English language
18:10tutor no hold on I didn't use that tutor
18:13for English instead I use that tutor to
18:16work on my storytelling skills there are
18:18platforms like prle or italki where you
18:22can have a private English tutor for as
18:25little as $3 an hour in these 1hour
18:29sessions I share two to three stories
18:31and I ask the tutor to give me feedback
18:34it doesn't matter that those tutors are
18:36not storytelling coaches they can still
18:38tell me how they like the stories where
18:40they got bored and how the story made
18:42them feel after sharing two or three
18:44stories I then usually try to use the
18:46rest of the time to improvise a few
18:49stories on the spot now that is a crazy
18:53heck meeting with the tutor once a week
18:55for a few weeks has been an absolute
18:58game changer for me but hey paying
19:00someone to listen to you obviously has
19:03some limitations that's why the last
19:05step is absolutely crucial step five
19:09tell stories even though I knew how to
19:11tell stories it still took me quite some
19:13time to start telling these stories in
19:15these normal day-to-day situations I
19:17just didn't know in which situations I
19:19could tell these stories now often times
19:21I only realize that hours later I'm like
19:24ah Phillip you're so stupid you could
19:26have used that story in that one moment
19:29that only changed once I started one
19:31habit now instead of waiting for that
19:33perfect opportunity to tell a big story
19:36I started telling these small stories in
19:38these very specific situations anytime
19:42that someone asks me how are you now
19:44before I used to respond like that I
19:46used to say good how are you or ah yes
19:49finally the sun is out the sun is
19:50shining that's how I responded after I
19:53started sharing a tiny story that shows
19:56something interesting about myself
19:59example if someone were to ask me today
20:01how are you I'd respond like this I'd
20:04say I'm good actually I had this
20:07beautiful moment this morning after 2
20:09weeks on the road I walked into my
20:11apartment hopped on my couch and just
20:13let out this
20:15big I was just so relieved to be back in
20:18my own four walls to finally be able to
20:21chill a little bit um anyway what about
20:24you when was the last time you got back
20:26from let's say a longer trip and how was
20:28that for you that's it a tiny story that
20:31tells a little bit more about me as a
20:34human now what are the things that I
20:35usually say when someone asks me how are
20:37you well usually I try to respond with
20:39anything that is more interesting than
20:41the weather or traffic maybe has there
20:43been anything interesting that has
20:45happened lately to me maybe have I
20:46picked up a new skill or is there this
20:48small thing that is a little bit
20:50annoying but still funny to share well
20:52that's the story that I share remember
20:55story worthy moment homework for life
20:57well those are the moments that you can
20:59share in that specific moment in case
21:01you're wondering isn't that super
21:04awkward like to share a story without
21:05the other person asking absolutely at
21:08the beginning I found it super super
21:10awkward as well but what I can tell you
21:12now after sharing these stories hundreds
21:14and hundreds of time it's so worth it
21:17you'll not only improve as a Storyteller
21:19but you'll also have much more
21:21meaningful conversations with co-workers
21:24friends but also strangers once you've
21:26shared these tiny stories a few few
21:28times over a few weeks you start to feel
21:31more and more comfortable to share
21:32stories in really any situation doesn't
21:34matter whether in front of friends
21:36co-workers or on a big stage that's it
21:40if you follow the five steps you just
21:42learned you'll tell better stories than
21:4499% of the people but hey today we touch
21:47up on a few storytelling techniques but
21:49there are a few ones that we haven't
21:51discussed for that you may want to check
21:53out my book The Story selling method or
21:55that next video in which I share my
21:57favorite storytelling techniques enjoy
22:02[Music]

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