how to stop being insecure | transform your insecurities into unbreakable confidence — Transcript

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1. 0:00we aren't born with insecurities we're
2. 0:02told what to be insecure about I know
3. 0:05process that for a second okay now let's
4. 0:07fix it I used to hate the way I looked I
5. 0:10covered my face in every single picture
6. 0:11I wanted a nose job at 11 years old and
7. 0:13even asked for one at 15 years old I
8. 0:16always had a filter on because I didn't
9. 0:17feel pretty enough and I always hid
10. 0:19Myself Away out of fear of judgment
11. 0:21today I'm not perfect I have acne I have
12. 0:23the same nose that I used to hate and
13. 0:25nowadays I even have people criticizing
14. 0:27my appearance online and yet I have
15. 0:29never felt more confident and this is
16. 0:31how as always here are the video
17. 0:33chapters in this video we're really
18. 0:34going to be focusing on mastering your
19. 0:36self perception using mindset shifts to
20. 0:39make sure that you're feeling your most
21. 0:40confident self because it's not about
22. 0:42changing what makes you feel insecure
23. 0:44it's about using it to your advantage
24. 0:45and right before we get into it haven't
25. 0:47you heard I'm writing a book it's called
26. 0:49bu yourself the damn flowers and it's
27. 0:51available to pre-order now this is The
28. 0:53Ultimate Guide to achieving radical
29. 0:55self- Lov the link is in the description
30. 0:56to pre-order on either Amazon audable or
31. 0:59Waterstone and is packed with every
32. 1:01lesson and Method I have learned in the
33. 1:03last four years of my self- Lov Journey
34. 1:05it also has actionable advice and real
35. 1:07life examples given throughout I can't
36. 1:09wait for you guys to read it I also have
37. 1:11my podcast Vlog Channel and other
38. 1:13socials like my Instagram linked Below
39. 1:15in the description but for now let's get
40. 1:16into it chapter number one mindset
41. 1:18shifts to go from insecurity to
42. 1:20confidence to start I want to give the
43. 1:22clearest example of what an insecure
44. 1:25versus confident person would say and to
45. 1:28do that of course we're going to bring
46. 1:29back our of girls Lola and Athena I feel
47. 1:32like I'm so behind I've got all these
48. 1:34failures and yet everybody else my age
49. 1:36seems to be winning it's just not fair
50. 1:38life is a game not competition I haven't
51. 1:40achieved any of my goals yet but that
52. 1:41doesn't mean I won't plus my friends
53. 1:43successes are so irrelevant because why
54. 1:45would I be looking at somebody else's
55. 1:47game board over my own the only prize
56. 1:49I'm able to win is right here on my own
57. 1:51game board wait that guy likes me okay
58. 1:54no tell me how do I start a conversation
59. 1:55with him yeah I know he likes me but I'm
60. 1:57not interested same with the last dozen
61. 1:59guys you show showed me and no I'm not
62. 2:01going to apologize for rejecting more
63. 2:03Partners than I accept like is that not
64. 2:05just a sign of high self-esteem not
65. 2:07everyone is meant for us so why would I
66. 2:09say yes to everyone my high standards
67. 2:11protect me from the masses so of course
68. 2:13I'm going to reject the 99% because I
69. 2:15want top 1% treatment thanks can you
70. 2:19take that picture again my belly looks
71. 2:20too big in it yeah that would do I only
72. 2:23need one shot why because this is my
73. 2:26face and this is my body and you can
74. 2:28take 20 pictures or 200 pictures and
75. 2:30nothing's going to change that you'll
76. 2:31see my tummy bloat my crooked teeth and
77. 2:33my imperfect skin either way I just
78. 2:35accepted that they're all a part of what
79. 2:37I look like and it saves me a lot of
80. 2:39time and grief you see the difference
81. 2:41okay now let's move on to the five
82. 2:43mindset shifts that are going to help
83. 2:44you go from insecure to confident step
84. 2:46number one understand where insecurity
85. 2:48comes from it comes from being told what
86. 2:51is good versus bad and also comparison
87. 2:53from everyone around us and these
88. 2:56standards are so so stupid because think
89. 2:59about it when a new trend comes around
90. 3:01then it's the coolest thing to do
91. 3:02everyone wants to do it and a lot of the
92. 3:04times these Trends come about and the
93. 3:05people that did it a couple years before
94. 3:07it was popular to do they got bullied
95. 3:09for it stuff like putting oil in your
96. 3:10hair stuff like dressing a certain way
97. 3:12embracing a certain makeup Trend it's
98. 3:14only acceptable when everyone else
99. 3:16decides it's acceptable there was
100. 3:18nothing ever inherently wrong with doing
101. 3:19that thing in the first place there was
102. 3:21nothing bad about it it's all just
103. 3:22opinions and you need to master
104. 3:24Detachment to get over it the reason you
105. 3:26get insecure is because you value other
106. 3:28people's opinions over your own it's as
107. 3:29simple as that so you need to
108. 3:32consciously decide how you feel about a
109. 3:35certain thing whether it's appearance
110. 3:36mindset personality let's take bloating
111. 3:38for example I always have this little
112. 3:41this little Pooch this little bit of
113. 3:42lower belly fat especially after I eat a
114. 3:45big meal did you know that 90% of women
115. 3:47have that little stubborn pocket of
116. 3:48belly fat because it's actually there to
117. 3:51protect your reproductive organs it's a
118. 3:53natural normal part of being woman
119. 3:55almost every single woman has it it's
120. 3:56functional and that's what makes me
121. 3:58accept it more I look at it and I'm like
122. 3:59this is just what makes me a woman
123. 4:01there's nothing bad about it it doesn't
124. 4:02mean that I don't have the right body it
125. 4:04means everything is working in the way
126. 4:05that it should why do I need to have a
127. 4:07flat stomach in order to be beautiful
128. 4:09and when you finally start questioning
129. 4:11these things and making up your own
130. 4:13opinion about things whether it's bad
131. 4:14skin body weight you'll feel much more
132. 4:17confident because you're not
133. 4:18internalizing everybody else's opinions
134. 4:19of you everybody is always going to have
135. 4:21a complete different opinion there are
136. 4:22some people that think Beyonce and Zena
137. 4:24are ugly and others that think they're
138. 4:25absolutely gorgeous everyone's opinion
139. 4:27is invalid okay there are always going
140. 4:29to be some people that think the same
141. 4:30thing is good versus bad you are saving
142. 4:31yourself so much time and stress by just
143. 4:33deciding on your own mindset shift
144. 4:35number two accept that you will never be
145. 4:38perfect and I'm talking overall okay
146. 4:41let's say that technically you fit the
147. 4:43beauty standard and you are 100%
148. 4:45physically perfectly beautiful that
149. 4:47doesn't mean that you're not still going
150. 4:48to have emotional things that you're
151. 4:49working through and a mindset that you
152. 4:51need to work on human beings are always
153. 4:54a work in progress that's the beauty of
154. 4:56life we're always growing we're always
155. 4:57evolving there are always things to
156. 4:59learn about ourselves and ReDiscover you
157. 5:01don't know yourself completely yet
158. 5:03because you haven't been in every single
159. 5:04life situation yet that is when we
160. 5:06discover new parts of our personalities
161. 5:08and our mindset and the way we think and
162. 5:10then we can decide if we want to work on
163. 5:11them or keep them the same and really
164. 5:13grow into who we want to be and create
165. 5:16the most ideal version of ourselves we
166. 5:17can't just naturally be perfect right
167. 5:19now because we are going to continuously
168. 5:21change over the years if we did all fit
169. 5:24a perfect standard then we'd all be
170. 5:25clones of each other our imperfections
171. 5:27make us who we are for example my nose
172. 5:30is not technically the perfect most
173. 5:32desirable nose it's crooked it's not
174. 5:34symmetrical sometimes I look at pictures
175. 5:36and it looks so large and
176. 5:37disproportionate to the rest of my face
177. 5:39but I look at it and I'm like but so
178. 5:40what that's my nose the key with this
179. 5:42step is to embrace all of your ugly
180. 5:45parts to the point that you are
181. 5:46desensitized to them if every time you
182. 5:49look at your nose and all you really see
183. 5:52is this mental image of the skinniest
184. 5:54slimmest upturn nose that every super
185. 5:57model with a nose job has of course
186. 5:58you're never going to accept SE your
187. 5:59nose because you're not actually seeing
188. 6:01it for what it is I don't look in the
189. 6:02mirror every single day and manipulate
190. 6:03myself into thinking that my nose is
191. 6:05perfect and it's the dream one to have
192. 6:06because I know it's not but that's okay
193. 6:08because imperfect qualities are okay and
194. 6:11normal and they don't take away from
195. 6:12your worthiness or desirability with
196. 6:14this step I realized there is literally
197. 6:17nothing ever to criticize myself for
198. 6:19because why would I hold myself up
199. 6:21against a standard that's based more on
200. 6:23what other people look like and
201. 6:25therefore literally goes against
202. 6:27everything I was born with in doing that
203. 6:29and engaging in that practice I'm
204. 6:31literally telling my younger self that
205. 6:33everything she is how she looks like is
206. 6:34unacceptable would you speak to your
207. 6:36younger self like that would you speak
208. 6:37to your child like that no so why are
209. 6:39you holding yourself up against
210. 6:40standards that have nothing to do with
211. 6:42who you are or how you look like it
212. 6:43makes no sense step number three your
213. 6:46focus is all wrong you are insecure
214. 6:49because you're choosing to be insecure
215. 6:51first thing in the morning you go into
216. 6:52the bathroom look in the mirror and
217. 6:53start fixating on your skin on its
218. 6:55appearance how it looks worse than it
219. 6:57did the day before then you go ahead and
220. 7:00you put your outfit on for the day and
221. 7:01you look in the mirror and you criticize
222. 7:03your body and you think well it doesn't
223. 7:05look how I imagined it to look and why
224. 7:06does my body not look snatched and this
225. 7:08doesn't compliment me and I don't have
226. 7:09the perfect figure and you are pulling
227. 7:12out all of these little imperfections
228. 7:13about yourself when you're doing the
229. 7:15most simple activity like getting
230. 7:17dressed for the day then you go out and
231. 7:18you're talking to people and you get
232. 7:20upset when an interaction didn't go in
233. 7:22the way that you imagined it to and you
234. 7:23thought you were too socially awkward
235. 7:25and you didn't speak in the way that you
236. 7:26wanted to or you didn't say what you
237. 7:27wanted to or you felt like you were too
238. 7:28quiet or shy and now you're worrying
239. 7:30about what they are going to think about
240. 7:31you now at the end of the day after you
241. 7:34didn't meet all of those imagined ideals
242. 7:36you label yourself a failure someone who
243. 7:39should be insecure someone who's not
244. 7:41good enough you're a loser you're ugly
245. 7:42you're imperfect but from what based on
246. 7:45what rules that you made up from where
247. 7:49what now imagine your day goes like this
248. 7:52instead you wake up go into the bathroom
249. 7:54do your skincare and then you hop
250. 7:55straight in the shower when you're in
251. 7:57the shower you are thinking about and
252. 7:59fix on what youth can incorporate into
253. 8:01your day to make it a better one a
254. 8:03greater one to improve your happiness
255. 8:05levels 1% more than they were yesterday
256. 8:07what can you do you're going to go get a
257. 8:08coffee you're going to go see a friend
258. 8:10you're going to call someone you're
259. 8:10going to put on a cuter outfit you're
260. 8:12going to spend some time in the sun
261. 8:13you're going to go and exercise you're
262. 8:14going to read your favorite book you're
263. 8:16going to have a movie night you're
264. 8:17thinking about that instead now that
265. 8:19that's your number one Focus you don't
266. 8:20even look in the mirror for more than a
267. 8:22minute because your mind is in other
268. 8:23places then you go to get dressed you
269. 8:25put your outfit on and while looking at
270. 8:27yourself in the mirror you realize hey
271. 8:28this is my body it's just a vessel that
272. 8:30holds everything that is important about
273. 8:31me my appro is actually the least
274. 8:33interesting thing about me because I
275. 8:35have so much value and worthiness and
276. 8:37amazing energy to offer as a human being
277. 8:40whether my stomach is sticking out in
278. 8:41this or my body doesn't look snatched
279. 8:43enough or I don't look curvy enough or
280. 8:44these genes don't complement me is
281. 8:46irrelevant this body helps me get to
282. 8:48places it helps me move it helps me live
283. 8:50life it keeps me healthy and alive so
284. 8:52that I can experience all of the joy and
285. 8:54the blessings that life has to offer how
286. 8:56lucky am I after you get dressed you
287. 8:59leave the the house and you go to an
288. 9:00event with a room filled with people and
289. 9:02you think this is a great opportunity to
290. 9:04mingle and have some social interaction
291. 9:06because it will help me grow as a person
292. 9:07it will help my confidence especially my
293. 9:09social confidence my skills with talking
294. 9:11to other people which I'm not quite
295. 9:12there with yet but at least I can try
296. 9:14just to say that I did it and learn from
297. 9:16it maybe if I just go up and talk to
298. 9:18someone I'll have the amazing
299. 9:19opportunity of having a meaningful
300. 9:22conversation with somebody else and yes
301. 9:24I'm still shy and I might not know what
302. 9:25to talk about and there might be an
303. 9:26awkward silence but hey there's always a
304. 9:28chance that I could make somebody else's
305. 9:30day better just from having a
306. 9:32conversation with them I could put a
307. 9:33smile on somebody else's face and that
308. 9:35will be a huge achievement for the day
309. 9:37can you tell the difference with that
310. 9:39second routine of how that person's day
311. 9:41went they finally shifted their focus
312. 9:43and their fixations away from themselves
313. 9:47and instead on their life on how they
314. 9:48can make it better on what they can
315. 9:50experience and how they can grow and
316. 9:52what Joy they can grab on what goals
317. 9:54they can achieve on what life they can
318. 9:56experience without worrying if they look
319. 9:58good doing it now when trying to shift
320. 10:00your focus every single day it will be
321. 10:02hard your brain will try to naturally
322. 10:04bring back all of those negative
323. 10:05thoughts and fixations because
324. 10:07essentially it's a habit and that's
325. 10:08what's made you insecure but that's okay
326. 10:10don't beat yourself up for it okay when
327. 10:12those thoughts come back You observe
328. 10:14them and then you let them go that is
329. 10:15such a big key in detaching for example
330. 10:19I have been through this for months
331. 10:20every single morning I'll wake up and
332. 10:21look in the mirror and my brain will go
333. 10:23oh look you have another breakout on
334. 10:25your forehead you still don't have clear
335. 10:26skin and I observe that thought and I go
336. 10:28okay there's nothing I can do but me
337. 10:29criticizing myself isn't going to do
338. 10:32good for anybody so I'm going to hop in
339. 10:34the shower and think about how I can
340. 10:35have an amazing day instead same for
341. 10:37when I'm looking at a picture of myself
342. 10:38and I have that lower tummy blow I'm
343. 10:40like okay my tummy sticking out but that
344. 10:42means I had an amazing meal and also
345. 10:44I've already decided there's nothing bad
346. 10:46about that step number four no one can
347. 10:48be better than you because everybody's
348. 10:51opinion is invalid there are girls out
349. 10:53there that hate and complain about how
350. 10:56small they are how skinny they are that
351. 10:58no matter what they eat they still can't
352. 11:00gain the weight and they hate their body
353. 11:02type meanwhile there are other girls out
354. 11:04there who are doing absolutely anything
355. 11:06to lose the weight and have the exact
356. 11:08same body type of the girls who are
357. 11:09trying to get rid of it how does that
358. 11:11make any sense how can two people with
359. 11:13complete different body types be chasing
360. 11:15such different ideals and make
361. 11:17themselves feel insecure when there are
362. 11:19other people that would want exactly
363. 11:20what they have there are so many people
364. 11:21out there that will admire exactly what
365. 11:24you have and there are also so many
366. 11:26people out there that will hate exactly
367. 11:28what you have but it doesn't matter
368. 11:30because at the end of the day those two
369. 11:32contrasting opinions cancel each other
370. 11:33out because your opinion is the only one
371. 11:35that actually matters for example my
372. 11:37first ever boyfriend told me that my
373. 11:39shoulders are too wide you probably
374. 11:41can't tell because of the top I'm
375. 11:42wearing but if I was wearing like a b
376. 11:43top they're too wide they're not
377. 11:45feminine enough it's like a really bad
378. 11:47frame for my body type right and ever
379. 11:50since every single time I look in the
380. 11:52mirror I noticed that about me that my
381. 11:53shoulders are considered too wide and I
382. 11:55had never noticed that about my body
383. 11:57before that is an example of someone
384. 11:58else trying to give me and trying to
385. 12:00create an insecurity that I hadn't even
386. 12:02considered before but I recognized that
387. 12:04and I decided to change my own opinion
388. 12:05on it because I also realize that
389. 12:08opinion is so invalid there are so many
390. 12:09people out there that like my body type
391. 12:11that would never even fixate or focus on
392. 12:13my shoulders so why should I focus on
393. 12:16what anybody else has to say about me
394. 12:18whether it's an insult or compliment
395. 12:20even the more Focus that you give to
396. 12:22people that are complimenting you the
397. 12:23more power you are giving to those that
398. 12:24are going to insult you and try to bring
399. 12:26you down the focus here is to detach
400. 12:28from other people's opinions as a whole
401. 12:29whether they're good or bad also just a
402. 12:31quick note only the most insecure empty
403. 12:34shell of a human being sad pathetic
404. 12:36people will find the time and energy to
405. 12:38try and bring you down and create
406. 12:39insecurities for you so remember that
407. 12:41and finally the fifth mindset shift stop
408. 12:44identifying with the insecure version of
409. 12:46you this is probably the most important
410. 12:48step when I started University I had a
411. 12:50huge glow up over the summer okay I got
412. 12:52contact lenses I got rid of my braces
413. 12:54and my glasses I learned how to do my
414. 12:55makeup I got hair extensions I changed
415. 12:57my whole wardrobe I was feeling myself I
416. 12:59looked a lot cuter than I did in school
417. 13:01and guess what it worked I went to UNI I
418. 13:03got so much attention every boy I liked
419. 13:05liked me back everybody wanted to be my
420. 13:07friend people would compliment me left
421. 13:09right and Center I was like wo people
422. 13:11consider me to be beautiful people want
423. 13:13to date me people want to hang around me
424. 13:15people want to learn how I do my makeup
425. 13:16this is insane and it was insane because
426. 13:18I had gone through 7 eight years of
427. 13:20school where nobody ever liked me back I
428. 13:22was called ugly I was made fun of no one
429. 13:25wanted to hang out with me it was just
430. 13:27several years of rejection and then I
431. 13:28had a glow up and I got everything I
432. 13:30wanted and despite getting all of that
433. 13:32attention and validation I still felt
434. 13:34the same inside I still felt so
435. 13:36painfully insecure I had still
436. 13:38internalized all of the previous
437. 13:39negative opinions that everybody had of
438. 13:41me but now I just had some added vain
439. 13:44energy and shallowness because I started
440. 13:46making my appearance the most important
441. 13:47part about me because I was still
442. 13:49fixating on other people's opinions of
443. 13:51me and so to fix this I had to give
444. 13:53myself a rebirth to distance myself and
445. 13:56no longer associate myself with the past
446. 13:59version of me the way to do this is so
447. 14:01simple it's just a mindset shift and I
448. 14:03still do this to this day every single
449. 14:04morning I wake up I think this is the
450. 14:06first day of my life and do you know how
451. 14:08much of a beautiful way of thinking this
452. 14:10is because think about it if every day
453. 14:12you wake up and you're like this is the
454. 14:13first day of my life every single day of
455. 14:15your life gets better because you are
456. 14:17waking up and you are not thinking of
457. 14:19your past you are only thinking about
458. 14:20what you can bring into that day but you
459. 14:22are waking up with additional wisdom
460. 14:24skills and lessons from all of the days
461. 14:26prior who would you be if you woke up in
462. 14:29into your life today with all of the
463. 14:30amazing things you've learned and all of
464. 14:32the amazing things that have made you
465. 14:33who you are without harboring all of the
466. 14:35baggage from the past you would move
467. 14:37very very differently if you didn't have
468. 14:40past opinions haters insecurities
469. 14:43holding you back as a result I've
470. 14:44leveled up so much that the people from
471. 14:45my past don't even know me anymore like
472. 14:47I'm not that person in the slightest so
473. 14:49what they have to say about me is
474. 14:50irrelevant I have instead shifted to who
475. 14:53I want to be which is my alter ego which
476. 14:55is the most confident version of myself
477. 14:57and there are a few ways that I did this
478. 14:59one is imagining myself as the most
479. 15:01confident version and then doing things
480. 15:03in my day that she would do so that I
481. 15:05can align to that version even more but
482. 15:07also little things that are distancing
483. 15:08from my past for example I changed my
484. 15:10name my name right now that everybody
485. 15:12knows me as is Tam core core is actually
486. 15:15my middle name I got rid of my last name
487. 15:17because all throughout School everyone
488. 15:18called me by my first and last name my
489. 15:20first name is actually tamana got rid of
490. 15:22that shortened it to Tam Tam cor no one
491. 15:24ever knew me as that as soon as I made
492. 15:26that my name and my kind of persona on
493. 15:29on social media it helped me shift away
494. 15:31from who I used to be same with changing
495. 15:33my appearance temporarily I'm always
496. 15:35about have a glow up but not in the
497. 15:37sense that because your appearance is
498. 15:39the most important thing about you and
499. 15:40you need to do it to impress others but
500. 15:42because this is a fun little Avatar to
501. 15:44play with and to express yourself try
502. 15:46some different clothing try a different
503. 15:47hairstyle try a different makeup look
504. 15:49just for the fun of it so that you can
505. 15:51step into the newest version of yourself
506. 15:53and the same goes for the kind of life I
507. 15:56live my daily routine everyone around me
508. 15:58that habits that I do are so far from
509. 16:00who I used to be how could I ever
510. 16:02identify with that past version of
511. 16:04myself and that leads us onto chapter
512. 16:06number two lifestyle shifts to get you
513. 16:08to Ultimate unbreakable confidence the
514. 16:11first lifestyle shift is to normalize
515. 16:13your insecurities by shifting your
516. 16:15consumption when I was really struggling
517. 16:17with my appearance and having certain
518. 16:19ethnic features I used to make Pinterest
519. 16:20Boards of people who had that appearance
520. 16:23so I would make one Board of models who
521. 16:26embraced their body type that looked a
522. 16:28lot like mine and that helped me really
523. 16:30accept it and see the beauty in it
524. 16:31because if they can struct with it why
525. 16:33can't I I made another for um Indian and
526. 16:36Bollywood actresses who had a similar
527. 16:38nose shape to me and never got surgery
528. 16:40because then it helped me embrace my own
529. 16:41more same with women who had similar
530. 16:43hair color and skin color to me and I
531. 16:45could just admire the beauty in them and
532. 16:48that's what helped me admire the beauty
533. 16:50back in myself because if I was always
534. 16:51looking at social media influencers with
535. 16:53blonde hair and blue eyes nothing wrong
536. 16:55with them but they're the complete
537. 16:56opposite of me and if my consumption is
538. 16:58always fixated on them or photoshopped
539. 17:00models in magazines with complete
540. 17:02different body types of course I'm going
541. 17:04to feel bad about myself because I'm
542. 17:05never seeing anybody who looks like me
543. 17:07Tik Tok is so great for this if you type
544. 17:10in body positivity you're going to get
545. 17:12so much confident that's going to make
546. 17:13you feel like the badest same goes
547. 17:16for acne I have followed a lot of
548. 17:18skincare experts who don't fixate on
549. 17:20this thing of like acne makes you ugly
550. 17:22or you need to get rid of it no matter
551. 17:23what of course we are all working
552. 17:25towards clear skin if that is your goal
553. 17:27however if it's going to be with you
554. 17:28right now now if you it's on your face
555. 17:30right now why would you waste time
556. 17:31feeling bad about it instead you got to
557. 17:34learn to love yourself with it on your
558. 17:35face regardless because it doesn't
559. 17:37Define who you are it's such an
560. 17:39insignificant part in all of the amazing
561. 17:42pieces of what makes you you and when I
562. 17:44saw other people embracing their acne
563. 17:46coming online no makeup showing that
564. 17:48acne showing acne friendly makeup it
565. 17:50normalizes having it and then you can
566. 17:51stop criticizing yourself for having it
567. 17:53as if you are failing at life and you
568. 17:55are not beautiful enough and everybody
569. 17:56else can do this one thing and you can't
570. 17:58life shift number two this is so
571. 18:00important stop reasoning with the
572. 18:03insecurity for example sending your
573. 18:05selfie to your group chat before you
574. 18:07post on social media to see if it's good
575. 18:09enough asking your friend does my body
576. 18:10look okay does this dress make me look
577. 18:12fat no you are putting your confidence
578. 18:15in somebody else's hands and you are
579. 18:17helping the insecurity grow as a result
580. 18:20of doing that you are giving your
581. 18:21insecurity all of the attention it wants
582. 18:23while not being decisive about your
583. 18:25emotions on it so then the insecurity
584. 18:27gets to control you so I've stepped away
585. 18:29from reasoning and now what I do is I
586. 18:31would never ask somebody oh my God does
587. 18:33my skin look okay can you see the acne I
588. 18:35don't know if I should go to that event
589. 18:36because my skin doesn't look good now I
590. 18:38know I have acne it's bumps on my skin I
591. 18:40can see it in the mirror I'm not going
592. 18:41to go around asking for reassurance from
593. 18:43everybody else I don't need reassurance
594. 18:45I know exactly what's there it's
595. 18:47definitely not going to stop me from
596. 18:48living my life or to start disliking
597. 18:50myself that's so boring are you not
598. 18:53bored of criticizing yourself for every
599. 18:55single impossible standard you give to
600. 18:57yourself seriously you know what to get
601. 18:59really deep on you for a second I think
602. 19:01little things like struggling with your
603. 19:03body image struggling with your skin
604. 19:05thinking that you need to be more
605. 19:07extroverted or a different kind of
606. 19:08person all of these little flaws we have
607. 19:10are given to us for a reason I think
608. 19:12that they are tools that help us love
609. 19:15ourselves more fiercely and more
610. 19:17unconditionally because if you were
611. 19:19perfect all of the time and you had
612. 19:20nothing to worry about and then all of a
613. 19:22sudden something was taken from you how
614. 19:23are you going to know that you will
615. 19:24still love yourself on your worst days
616. 19:26if you are being given your worst days
617. 19:28right now I see that as a gift that
618. 19:30means that you can love yourself in any
619. 19:32circumstance given that is Unstoppable
620. 19:35confidence once you master that and once
621. 19:36you can get your head around that floor
622. 19:38or insecurity that makes you ugly I mean
623. 19:41it doesn't but you know what I mean that
624. 19:43means you can start going throughout
625. 19:44your life and no matter what is thrown
626. 19:45at you no matter what opinions are
627. 19:46thrown at you you have built up this
628. 19:48wall as a result I think it's the
629. 19:50perfect Foundation to building real
630. 19:53self- Lov not the self- Lov that most
631. 19:54people think they have because they look
632. 19:56perfect all the time they have the dream
633. 19:57body if that's taken away what do you
634. 19:59have how are you going to feel about
635. 20:00yourself lifestyle shift number three
636. 20:02achieving goals makes you confident you
637. 20:05think I got time to be insecure staring
638. 20:07at my naked body in the mirror every
639. 20:08time before I go into a shower pointing
640. 20:09out all of its flaws nah I am too busy
641. 20:13living out my best life as my dream
642. 20:15woman your emotions are so much more
643. 20:17powerful than some mediocre limiting
644. 20:20thoughts that you have just collected as
645. 20:22a result of other people's opinions and
646. 20:24media consumption the way you feel
647. 20:27though that is what makes the difference
648. 20:29I live a life that makes me feel like
649. 20:32the most confident ideal version of
650. 20:34myself so I can't associate myself with
651. 20:38insecurities because I don't live a life
652. 20:40that aligns to them or even entertains
653. 20:42them for example if you don't step out
654. 20:43of your comfort zone and you just simply
655. 20:45tolerate the life that has been given to
656. 20:46you of course you have more time to
657. 20:48start associating your sens of self to
658. 20:50what other people think about you
659. 20:51because you're not already actively
660. 20:53creating the most ideal version of
661. 20:55yourself this then links into your
662. 20:56portfolio of proof which is a major
663. 20:58element in building unbreakable
664. 21:00confidence this concept is basically
665. 21:01about trying new things so the next time
666. 21:03you doubt yourself or minimize your
667. 21:05Worth to something so insignificant like
668. 21:07your appearance your body type your
669. 21:08popularity your status your success you
670. 21:11can then remember all of the
671. 21:12self-respect resilience strength and
672. 21:14lessons that you've gathered from every
673. 21:16single goal you've achieved no matter
674. 21:18how big or small for example with me my
675. 21:21confidence has grown with every new
676. 21:22project that I have started for example
677. 21:24that's why I've literally written a
678. 21:26whole book that's being published but
679. 21:28first it was YouTube YouTube scared the
680. 21:30hell out of me but the more I did it the
681. 21:31more comfortable and confident I felt
682. 21:33with it so then I moved on and I started
683. 21:34a podcast and that whole creation
684. 21:36process scared me because I'd never done
685. 21:37anything like that before I kid you not
686. 21:39it took me like 4 days to figure out how
687. 21:40to use a microphone but then I conquered
688. 21:42it and it added to my portfolio of proof
689. 21:44of my confidence of my self-perception
690. 21:46all of these ideas and memories to
691. 21:48reference in my head the next time I
692. 21:49feel bad about myself cuz I'm like hey I
693. 21:51did that and that and that and that and
694. 21:53that I am that girl and you can actually
695. 21:55see all of the projects and things I've
696. 21:57built through my bio link below in the
697. 21:59description this video has actually been
698. 22:01brought to you by bios sites and for
699. 22:02those of you who don't know bios sites
700. 22:04is basically a free linkoln bio tool
701. 22:06which makes promoting yourself and
702. 22:07growing your business so much easier my
703. 22:09favorite features of this platform is
704. 22:11actually the customization and design
705. 22:12that you can utilize in order to
706. 22:14maintain a coherent brand image which is
707. 22:16so important to growing a business if
708. 22:18you click onto my biosights link in the
709. 22:19description you can actually see how
710. 22:20I've done this for myself it's all red
711. 22:22and white to match with my self-obsessed
712. 22:23podcast branding as well which I just
713. 22:25love is basically the easiest way to
714. 22:27have your own personal branding website
715. 22:29it also makes getting more traffic to
716. 22:31particular links that you want so much
717. 22:33easier because of the layout I love that
718. 22:34when you open up the page you have
719. 22:36separation with all of your social media
720. 22:37Links at the top so people can quickly
721. 22:39find you on other platforms but then I
722. 22:40use the larger tabs and Link buttons at
723. 22:43the bottom of the page to promote other
724. 22:45more unique Links of things that I'm
725. 22:46trying to push for example pre-ordering
726. 22:48my book link for example my new YouTube
727. 22:50channel that not a lot of people know
728. 22:51about or my podcast but what separates
729. 22:53bio sites from just being a simple
730. 22:55lincol bio tool is all of the added
731. 22:57elements things like crowdfunding email
732. 22:59collecting and my personal favorite the
733. 23:01embedded Spotify section which helps
734. 23:03getting listeners to my podcast 10 times
735. 23:05easier so if you're interested and you
736. 23:07think that this could be a great way to
737. 23:08promote your business start a new side
738. 23:10hustle or just become and level up into
739. 23:12the newest version of yourself then you
740. 23:14can create your own biosite today using
741. 23:16the link below in my description
742. 23:18lifestyle shift number four only
743. 23:20associate yourself with confident
744. 23:22authentic people listening to certain
745. 23:24books podcasts even watching YouTube
746. 23:27videos following certain influ es that
747. 23:29spoke about achieving goals and what
748. 23:32their personal preferences are and how
749. 23:33they live their life and their routines
750. 23:35showed me how much more there is to life
751. 23:38than your appearance how much better I
752. 23:41could get at thinking and living because
753. 23:42hey even if you're not insecure about
754. 23:44your appearance maybe it's you want to
755. 23:45work on your social confidence or
756. 23:47learning a certain skill then go out and
757. 23:49learn it do yourself that favor or you
758. 23:51can watch content out there that's
759. 23:52reassuring that validates the fact that
760. 23:54you might be shy you might be quieter
761. 23:56and that is completely okay there's 's
762. 23:58nothing wrong with that when I was
763. 23:59following every celebrity on social
764. 24:01media and keeping up with their lives
765. 24:02when I was following Beauty influencers
766. 24:04watching reality TV there was something
767. 24:06new to get or have every single day I
768. 24:08was Googling waste trainers online I was
769. 24:11being sold slimming tees on Instagram I
770. 24:14was considering Botox and dying my hair
771. 24:16because that is all that I was seeing in
772. 24:18my world of consumption now all I hear
773. 24:20is Wellness practices I learned how to
774. 24:22love myself more how to own my
775. 24:24authenticity how to build my dream life
776. 24:27how to hold myself able there are all
777. 24:29these goals and new things that I'm
778. 24:30trying out every single day my
779. 24:31appearance is the last thing that comes
780. 24:33to my mind these kinds of people are so
781. 24:35focused on their growth they don't
782. 24:36critique who they are their personality
783. 24:38they focus on living better they focus
784. 24:40on growth and happiness and now I'm a
785. 24:42better person as a result because every
786. 24:43single day my focuses on how can I
787. 24:45become a more intelligent person how can
788. 24:48I be mentally stronger more emotionally
789. 24:51resilient and I do all of that for the
790. 24:53fun of it for the life experience for
791. 24:55the journey not for the validation and
792. 24:57finally the fifth lifestyle shift is
793. 25:00build your own confidence routine there
794. 25:03is so much magic in the routines and the
795. 25:04habits that you carry out every single
796. 25:06day and that is what helps you shift
797. 25:07your identity from someone who is
798. 25:09chasing other people's approval and is
799. 25:11fixating on a few insecurities they have
800. 25:13to someone who doesn't even pay
801. 25:14attention to it because it does not
802. 25:15matter an example of something you can
803. 25:17Implement into your confidence routine
804. 25:18is doing what you say you're going to do
805. 25:21when you say you're going to do it
806. 25:23simple as if you tell yourself tomorrow
807. 25:25I need to be at the gym at 8:00 a.m. you
808. 25:27better take yourself there because
809. 25:28otherwise you start to live a life where
810. 25:30you only prioritize other people's
811. 25:32schedules and other people's time over
812. 25:33your own because you'll make it to class
813. 25:35on time you'll make it to work on time
814. 25:36you'll make it to your appointment on
815. 25:37time but when you tell yourself this is
816. 25:39the time I'm scheduling for me time for
817. 25:41my solo date for my gym for my studying
818. 25:43session you won't do it that's when the
819. 25:45boundaries and the lines get blurred
820. 25:46that's what you get to ignore then where
821. 25:48is the self-respect so yes even sticking
822. 25:50to the times you tell yourself is now a
823. 25:52very personal task because every single
824. 25:54time you decide to ignore that you are
825. 25:56basically telling yourself you're not
826. 25:57worth that time you're not worth that
827. 25:59commitment you're not worth that
828. 26:01discipline setting boundaries is another
829. 26:03great confidence building tool I would
830. 26:05say try to build the habit of trying to
831. 26:06say no to at least one person once a
832. 26:09week I actually have a full guide on how
833. 26:11to set boundaries examples of how you
834. 26:13would say boundaries on my channel so
835. 26:15you can check that out because truly
836. 26:16these smaller steps are what helps build
837. 26:18the bigger picture of unbreakable
838. 26:20confidence another example of your
839. 26:21confidence routine is to honor your
840. 26:23needs you don't need to embrace hustle
841. 26:24culture okay if you need a break you're
842. 26:26going to take it because you don't care
843. 26:27if someone else was to look at you and
844. 26:29think that you're lazy or you're not
845. 26:30working hard enough it doesn't matter
846. 26:32absolutely irrelevant and that's when
847. 26:33you allow yourself to start engaging
848. 26:35more in self-love and taking care of
849. 26:37yourself and building this relationship
850. 26:38with yourself than worrying about what
851. 26:40other people are going to think exposure
852. 26:42therapy is probably the most important
853. 26:43part of a confidence routine stuff like
854. 26:45trying to talk to a new person every
855. 26:47single day whether it's your Barista at
856. 26:49your favorite Cafe whether it's a
857. 26:50stranger that you opened a door for in a
858. 26:52restaurant stuff like going on a solo
859. 26:54date stuff that basically makes you
860. 26:55nervous and scares you if you are
861. 26:57already solo dating because you've been
862. 26:58here for a while then take up a notch go
863. 27:00to a concert alone go to a fancy
864. 27:02romantic restaurant alone the purpose of
865. 27:04this is to minimize the impact that
866. 27:06other people have on you so that you can
867. 27:07get more comfy with your self validation
868. 27:09instead because the more times that you
869. 27:11embrace your cringe the Freer that you
870. 27:13will be because you have desensitized
871. 27:15yourself to those things the more you
872. 27:16hide yourself away live in fear worry
873. 27:18about what other people are going to say
874. 27:20the more it will have control on you for
875. 27:21the rest of your life because you
876. 27:23haven't even faced the fair yet you
877. 27:24haven't even done something to prove it
878. 27:26wrong and to prove how insignificant and
879. 27:28invalid it is okay you're going to go to
880. 27:30a restaurant sit there alone and think
881. 27:31that oh my God everyone's looking at me
882. 27:32and judging me but you go do it you
883. 27:34leave and instead you think I survived
884. 27:37everything was okay now I can go do it
885. 27:39again and the fear is then destroyed
886. 27:41practicing gratitude is another crucial
887. 27:43step in your confidence routine I would
888. 27:45also say tracking your progress as well
889. 27:47I love to have like a digital diary or
890. 27:49to record a little video or a voice memo
891. 27:51to look back on of everything I did
892. 27:53today that was a win no matter how big
893. 27:54or small did I have a good day today did
894. 27:56I nourish my body today and that way you
895. 27:58are really always checking in with
896. 28:00yourself you are your own biggest
897. 28:01motivator and you can also see how much
898. 28:03you're growing and improving every
899. 28:05single day it gives you more things to
900. 28:06feel good about I would also say shadow
901. 28:09work Journal prompts are so important if
902. 28:11you were to Google Shadow work
903. 28:12insecurity prompts that would help you
904. 28:14so much to really defeat all of these
905. 28:15insecurities with logic and get behind
906. 28:19the causation of them so that you can
907. 28:21finally get rid of them and finally the
908. 28:23last part of building a confidence
909. 28:24routine is to spend time with uplifting
910. 28:26people whether it be your friends family
911. 28:29books podcasts you name it and finally
912. 28:32chapter number three five actionable
913. 28:34steps for the homework chapter that you
914. 28:36can Implement today to make sure that
915. 28:39you are actually taking the advice from
916. 28:40this video implementing it into your
917. 28:42life so that you can grow as a person
918. 28:43and become the most confident version of
919. 28:45yourself let's get into it number one
920. 28:46start building your portfolio of proof I
921. 28:48want you to do something this week that
922. 28:50will challenge one of your negative
923. 28:51limiting thoughts whether it's posting a
924. 28:53selfie without a filter whether it's
925. 28:54talking to a stranger whether it's going
926. 28:56out alone homework task number two draw
927. 28:58out your confident life not your
928. 29:00confident appearance so I want you to
929. 29:02start thinking of energy shifts places
930. 29:04people you could meet things you could
931. 29:06do life experience you could have that
932. 29:07is going to make you feel like that girl
933. 29:10rather than just looking like that girl
934. 29:12setting up a side hustle you can check
935. 29:14out bios sites in the link in the
936. 29:15description going out and trying a new
937. 29:17activity taking up sport taking up a
938. 29:19painting class homework test number
939. 29:21three write out a list of your
940. 29:22insecurities and then beat them with
941. 29:24logic firstly where does it come from we
942. 29:26already know that these things are
943. 29:28created they are not inherently a part
944. 29:30of us where did it come from what did
945. 29:31somebody say to you and then I want you
946. 29:33to consciously Define what that
947. 29:35insecurity is and how you can start
948. 29:37using it to your advantage and loving it
949. 29:39instead there's links into home at task
950. 29:40number four you can use the shadow work
951. 29:42insecurity prompts that I have on the
952. 29:44screen to figure out where these
953. 29:45insecurities come from and then putting
954. 29:47a solution to them and the last homework
955. 29:48task is to start being kinder to
956. 29:50yourself when you shift your lifestyle
957. 29:51and you start doing nice things for
958. 29:53yourself all the time you just want to
959. 29:54make sure that you always have the best
960. 29:55day then being insecure and CR
961. 29:58criticizing yourself feel so unnatural
962. 29:59in the life that you're living it's gone
963. 30:02I would never critique myself I'm out
964. 30:05here buying myself flowers I take myself
965. 30:06on dates all of a sudden looking in a
966. 30:08mirror and then trying to pick out flaws
967. 30:09I feel so unnatural to how I treat
968. 30:12myself all day every day it just doesn't
969. 30:14match up I don't identify as the kind of
970. 30:15person that is trying to chase approval
971. 30:17for my family and friends and you need
972. 30:18to do the same I want you to speak kind
973. 30:20of words to yourself I want you to do
974. 30:21your affirmations I want you to treat
975. 30:23yourself I want you to honor your needs
976. 30:24and that brings us to the end of this
977. 30:25video I hope you guys enjoyed it and
978. 30:27learned something if you did comment
979. 30:28down below let me know what your
980. 30:29favorite lesson was because that's what
981. 30:31helps me make these videos so much
982. 30:32better make sure you check out all the
983. 30:33links in the description and pre-order
984. 30:35my new book so that we can really get on
985. 30:37the self- love train and just love
986. 30:38ourselves so fiercely and become the
987. 30:40most confident versions of ourselves I
988. 30:42appreciate you and I hope you guys have
989. 30:43the best week bye
990. 30:45[Music]