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How To Shift From Survival Mode to "Creator Mode" — Transcript

by Katie Clarke · 7,553 words · 1,153 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00When it comes to manifesting a new
0:02reality, regulation and cultivating a
0:05sense of lethal calm is a secret weapon.
0:09It's a superpower.
0:11And it's a superpower because what
0:13manifestation truly is is it's not about
0:15changing something in your reality. It's
0:18about changing yourself internally so
0:22that the natural byproduct of that is
0:24different results in your reality. So, a
0:26lot of people, they look at the results
0:28in their lives and they stay in this
0:29feedback loop of feeding into whatever
0:31their bank account balance is, whatever
0:33their job situation is, whatever their
0:36relationship situation looks like, and
0:38they continue to define themselves from
0:41what they see in front of them or what
0:42has happened in the past. And that keeps
0:45their state, their identity, their
0:46beliefs, their thoughts, and their
0:48emotions stuck resonating with the
0:51results of the past. Therefore, they
0:53can't even perceive of the actions that
0:55can get them different results. So, a
0:57lot of people are trying to take actions
0:59from the same old state of
1:00consciousness, from the same old
1:02identity, and it keeps them in the same
1:05old reality. You could only take action
1:08within a particular state of
1:10consciousness. So, at a certain point,
1:12if you want to change your results
1:13dramatically, you have to go beyond the
1:16physical, and you have to go to the
1:18causal aspects, what comes before
1:20action, which is your thoughts, your
1:22beliefs, your emotions. All of that is
1:25going to dictate your perspective and
1:27what you're focusing on. It's going to
1:29dictate the ideas that you can even
1:31perceive, the actions that you can even
1:33think to take, and it's going to change
1:35the type of actions that you take. When
1:37you change your thoughts, when you
1:39change your beliefs, when you change
1:40your emotions, that changes the actions
1:43that you take. Okay? And then your
1:47results change when your actions change.
1:49So, if you if you're continuing to take
1:51more and more and more action, you're
1:52getting busier and busier and busier,
1:53and it's not really changing your
1:54results too much, then you need to
1:56change the type of action that you are
1:59taking, which requires you to change
2:02internally so that your perspective and
2:04awareness can shift so that you can
2:06perceive of new actions that are
2:07actually aligned with your desired
2:09reality. That is why shifting to a new
2:12reality requires you to shift into the
2:14state of consciousness of the self that
2:15is there already first. Because you are
2:18the cause and the physical outcome is
2:20simply the effect of your state of
2:21being. So you will not see a change in
2:24your results, in your finances, in your
2:26life, in your relationships, until you
2:29change your thoughts, your beliefs, your
2:31emotions, and then you can change your
2:33actions. Now that's all very well and
2:35good, but the question then is, why is
2:38it so hard to change our thoughts? Why
2:42is it so hard to change our beliefs? Why
2:45is it so hard to change our emotions and
2:47our identity? And one of the
2:49biggest reasons that people struggle
2:52with changing and shifting internally is
2:55because they are in an internal state of
2:58survival.
3:00They're in survival mode.
3:01So what I'm about to share with you
3:03today, we're going to talk about nervous
3:04system regulation, we're going to talk
3:06about becoming more calm and centered in
3:08your body, and you're going to want to
3:09like click off this. You're going to
3:10think this is not important. It's not
3:13something that we usually perceive as
3:14important. But what I'm going to give
3:16you today is basically the tools to gain
3:21back control of your internal operating
3:24system.
3:25To gain back control of your thoughts,
3:28of your emotions, of your beliefs, of
3:31your self-concept, of your mind.
3:34And controlling your mind is controlling
3:37your reality.
3:38Because everything is first created on
3:40the mental plane before it can be
3:41experienced by you physically.
3:43And so if you want to be able to control
3:45your reality, you need to be able to
3:46control your mind. You cannot control
3:49your mind whilst you are in a state of
3:51chronic dysregulation, whilst you are in
3:53survival mode. In that state, your mind
3:55is controlling you.
3:57And 70% or more of people are in a state
4:01of chronic dysregulation in the nervous
4:04system.
4:05It is normal nowadays to be in survival
4:08mode. But what survival mode does is it
4:11keeps your consciousness trapped in the
4:13past, and it keeps you in a negative
4:16state where you're constantly focusing
4:17on the bad, you're constantly focusing
4:19on threats. And your brain is also
4:21trying to conserve energy, so it's going
4:23to keep you trapped in the same old
4:25thought loops, and you simply won't have
4:27the energy or the space in your
4:29awareness to step outside of your old
4:32thoughts and choose differently.
4:34Meaning, you won't be able to change the
4:36things internally that matter most that
4:38are going to change your vibration,
4:40which is going to change your external
4:41reality.
4:43So, I'm handing you in this video the
4:45controller back to your internal state,
4:49back to being able to navigate and
4:51change the way that you think, the way
4:53that you perceive, the way that you
4:54feel. So, I invite you to really take
4:57this seriously, because if you take the
4:59time to go through this kind of more
5:01boring, not so glamorous stuff, and
5:03actually regulate and calm your nervous
5:05system, you are going to be able to
5:07master yourself, which means mastering
5:10your results in your reality. So, I'm
5:13going to explain to you in just a moment
5:15what survival mode is, how it happens in
5:17the nervous system, but I just want you
5:18to get this first of all, how it's
5:20impacting your perception. So, when
5:22you're in a survival state, essentially,
5:26what happens is your brain at some point
5:29perceived a threat, okay? You have this
5:32very intelligent system. It's It's
5:34actually fascinating. The nervous system
5:36is so fascinating. It's so intelligently
5:39designed that perceived this threat and
5:41it went into fight or flight mode as a
5:43way of protecting you, okay? So, this
5:45system in your body, it's trying to look
5:48out for you. The nervous system governs
5:50so many functions in your body, we'll
5:51get into that in a minute, but one of
5:53the main functions that it governs is
5:54your perception, okay? And since you
5:58were since you perceived a threat and
6:00your body went into fight or flight
6:01mode,
6:02it's only concern until you
6:04down-regulate out of fight or flight
6:06mode is to keep you on the guard and to
6:09keep you safe. So, it's going to just
6:11keep your perception focused on threats,
6:14okay?
6:15So, in the brain, you can see this. You
6:17will not be able to shift into a slower
6:20brain wave state when you're
6:21dysregulated. You will not be able to
6:23open up your perception. You will not be
6:24able to sink into the subconscious mind.
6:27You will not be able to perceive
6:28different possibilities. Your
6:29imagination will be shut down. Your
6:32visualization aspect of you will in
6:34large part for most people be shut down.
6:37And as well as that, your focus will
6:39essentially just narrow because you're
6:41in this constrictive, survival,
6:43fear-based state internally. Even if you
6:46don't feel afraid, I'm going to explain
6:47to you the symptoms in a minute. You
6:48might be able to identify if you are in
6:50this state. Most people are in this
6:52state. Your perception, let's say this
6:54is the quantum field of every
6:56possibility, right? Let's say Let's take
6:59a tangible example here.
7:01Let's say this is a person who person A
7:03and person B who lost their job. Let's
7:05say two people got laid off from the
7:07same position
7:09on the same day, okay?
7:11Person A is in a survival state. They're
7:13in survival mode. They're kind of
7:15reactive constantly. They're just in
7:17that fight or flight tense state. They
7:20got laid off from their job and
7:23their focus is narrowed only on the
7:26negative consequences of losing their
7:28job. They spiral into catastrophizing,
7:31into overthinking, into self-criticism,
7:35into doomsaying, all of this stuff,
7:38worst-case scenarioing. They're
7:39thinking, "Wow, I must be no good at
7:41anything. I'm never going to get a job
7:43again. What does this mean about me?
7:45They go into a shame spiral and they
7:47think about what I'm not going to be
7:48able to pay my rent and their brain
7:50immediately, because that's all that
7:52resonates with their state, is threats
7:54and danger. Immediately goes to the most
7:57dangerous, most threatening possibility,
8:00okay?
8:01Not taking into account the infinite
8:05amount of other possibilities that could
8:07flow from this event or this thing that
8:10just happened, okay? So, that is how you
8:12are interacting with things in your
8:14reality when you're in a survival state.
8:16You only see the worst case scenario.
8:18You only see the bad, you only see the
8:20negative. Why? Think about it like this.
8:22Okay.
8:23Your nervous system is activated. It's
8:24trying to protect you and keep you safe.
8:26If you were in the wild trying to like
8:29look out for your survival, survival
8:31mode, right?
8:32You'd be looking out to see if there's
8:34any predators around you. You'd be
8:36looking out to see if there's any snakes
8:37or anything. You wouldn't be like taking
8:40account of all the beautiful
8:43um the beautiful flowers and the
8:45scenery. No.
8:47You can't do that while you're in
8:48survival mode. Why? It's Your body, your
8:50nervous system is trying to conserve
8:53your energy and get you to survive. It's
8:55only focus is survival, not thriving,
8:59just surviving. So, it thinks it's
9:01keeping you safe by keeping your
9:03awareness on the worst possible case
9:06scenario and the dangers.
9:08The problem is, if you're this guy,
9:10let's say guy A is John. If you're John
9:13and you've lost your job and you're in
9:15survival mode, so naturally all you can
9:16think about is the worst case scenario.
9:18Well, guess what? You are going to stay
9:20energetically resonant and vibrationally
9:23in alignment with the worst case
9:24scenario.
9:26You will not be able to open up to all
9:29the potential good that could unfold
9:31from this event in your life.
9:34Ergo, you won't be able to manifest a
9:36much better outcome or a much better
9:38position. Let's take the example of
9:41Eric. Okay, Eric lost the job. Eric is
9:44not in survival mode. Eric's nervous
9:45system is regulated. He has cultivated
9:48that sense of inner calm. And so, his
9:51perspective, naturally, when you're not
9:53in survival mode, your perspective is
9:54much more expanded. It's much wider. You
9:57have like some space between you and the
9:59event. You can see a bigger picture. And
10:01so, because Eric is in a regulated
10:04state, not a survival state, Eric's mind
10:07is not going to narrow his perception on
10:10only the threats and the worst-case
10:11scenario. No, he's going to be able to
10:14take account of the bigger picture. So,
10:16even though he might consider, "God,
10:18maybe like what does this mean about me
10:20that I lost my job? Maybe this could be
10:22a negative thing." He doesn't have to
10:24stay there because he can also see,
10:26"Maybe this could be the best thing that
10:27ever happened to me."
10:29How can I use this as a springboard?
10:31Maybe this is this is me being re-guided
10:34into something that's more aligned. You
10:36know what? Actually, I've been saying
10:37for 2 years that I want to leave this
10:39job and I want to go and do something
10:41else. Maybe this is my opportunity to do
10:43that. Maybe this is finally my chance to
10:45move to
10:46Bali or whatever, okay?
10:49Eric can perceive and imagine best-case
10:53scenarios, good possibilities, because
10:55he's not in survival mode. And the
10:58opposite of survival mode is creative
10:59mode. You cannot be in creative mode
11:01whilst you are in survival mode.
11:05Those faculties, your imagination, your
11:06intuition, are offline while you're in
11:09survival mode. They're literally not
11:10there for you to utilize.
11:12Because your body thinks you are in the
11:14wild running from a bear. Why would it
11:17be like, "Hey, okay, let's visualize
11:18your dream life."
11:19It's not going to do that. Before I rub
11:21this out, I just want you to remember,
11:23when you're in survival mode, when
11:24you're in fight or flight, when you're
11:26dysregulated, you are overlooking a
11:29whole field of information.
11:32You can't perceive it. And that is the
11:35information that you need to start
11:37perceiving if you want to start thriving
11:39and aligning with the best case
11:40scenarios in your life. So, you can see
11:42how when you look after this one thing,
11:45which is coming out of survival mode and
11:47entering a more expansive creative mode,
11:50you open yourself up to exponential
11:52growth. Whereas when you stay stuck in
11:54survival mode, you stay stagnated in old
11:57thought loops and stuck in your old
11:59energy, repeating the same vibration,
12:02the same emotions, the same expectations
12:05from the past.
12:07You can't bring that with you if you
12:09want to create a whole new future. When
12:11you shift out of survival mode, when you
12:13shift your energy and your perspective
12:16opens up, you can connect to a better
12:18possibility. And that is where you start
12:20to quantum shift. That is where
12:21exponential growth becomes available to
12:23you. Like even if I tangibly walk you
12:25through this, right? John says, "Oh my
12:27gosh, this means I'm no good. This means
12:30I'm not going to be able to pay my rent.
12:31Oh, I'm panicking now. I'm never going
12:33to be able to find another job." So, he
12:35might catastrophize for like 3 weeks. He
12:37might maybe go on a little bit of a a
12:40boozer of a weekend. Maybe he's
12:42panicking. He's just stressing about it
12:44to anyone who will listen. He's in a
12:46spiral of negativity.
12:48And he's wasting all of this time
12:51worrying, constricting his focus, that
12:53he he's so drained that he actually
12:55doesn't have the internal drive,
12:57resources, clarity, or perspective
13:00to take action that's going to help him.
13:03So, he kind of just ends up in this
13:04downward spiral. And then he does end up
13:07in a difficult situation financially.
13:09And he ends up manifesting exactly the
13:11worst-case scenario that he was thinking
13:13about. Whereas if we look at Eric, who I
13:15have half erased here. Sorry, Eric.
13:18Because Eric was more proactive, yes,
13:20maybe he was down about it for a day or
13:21two, but because he was more regulated
13:23in his nervous system and he was able to
13:25to back to that baseline,
13:27he processed what was happening and he
13:29went, "Well, maybe this maybe this could
13:30open up to goods."
13:32Because that thought produces a
13:35empowering emotion, an emotion that
13:38makes him feel like confidence and
13:41positive,
13:42that emotion triggers him to take
13:45proactive steps. So, he's like, "You
13:47know what?
13:49Maybe this means I'm I'm meant for more.
13:51Maybe this means I should put myself out
13:53there." And because he's thinking on
13:55that level and he's feeling on that
13:57level, his body starts taking action on
13:59that level. And so, he remembers all of
14:03a sudden cuz his perspective is open and
14:05he's vibrationally alignment through his
14:07thoughts and emotions, he remembers all
14:08of a sudden, "I had a call with a man 6
14:11months ago and he told me about this
14:12really interesting opportunity. Let me
14:14give him a call." So, Eric remembers
14:17this thing, he calls the guy.
14:19John might have had a conversation with
14:20someone like 6 months ago as well, but
14:21John can't see that or remember that
14:23because his energy is not in alignment
14:25with it, right? Cuz he's in that
14:26survival state. But, Eric can remember
14:28it cuz he's opened his perception. And
14:30so, he calls the guy, the guy puts him
14:31in touch with someone else, sets up a
14:33job, next thing you know, Eric is
14:35feeling amazing cuz he suddenly got an
14:37amazing opportunity lined up for
14:39himself, right? And so, you see how
14:40these two situations, the situation is
14:43the same but the response is different
14:45because the person interpreting the
14:48situation is in a different state.
14:51That is what it always comes down to.
14:53It's not about what happens to you, it's
14:56about how you respond. And most people
14:58are reacting impulsively on autopilot
15:01because they don't have the capacity to
15:03respond because they are in a survival
15:05mode and everything feels like a threat.
15:07So, they just feel like they're
15:08constantly reacting, they have no
15:10control over themselves.
15:12So, that is what regulation will do for
15:14you. It gives you the power to open your
15:16awareness and respond in alignment with
15:20the outcome that you prefer.
15:23Which that is manifestation, that is
15:26reality creation. So, if you're in
15:28survival mode, essentially you are in a
15:30state of chronic activation or
15:32dysregulation in your nervous system.
15:34You might be hearing about the nervous
15:36system left, right, and center and
15:37you're like, "What the heck is that?
15:39What is the nervous system?"
15:40It's only the command center of your
15:43existence. It's the It's like an
15:46electrical and chemical system that
15:47basically runs your entire experience in
15:51this body and in your mind and in your
15:53perception. So, essentially, your
15:55nervous system is your command center,
15:56consists of your brain, your spinal
15:58cord, and the nerves in your body. Like,
16:01essentially, you're experiencing the
16:03physical world through your senses.
16:05That's all happening within your nervous
16:06system. Information is picked up on
16:08through your senses and then it's
16:10perceived and sent and interpreted
16:12through your nervous system in your
16:13brain. And then those messages are sent
16:16out through the nerves in your body
16:17through impulses all over your body in
16:20like a millisecond
16:22so that you can respond physically. So,
16:24let's say for example, you put your hand
16:25on a hot stove, right?
16:27The way that you have the impulse to
16:29pull your hand away immediately when the
16:31heat gets to a certain level is because
16:33of your nervous system. It perceives the
16:35stimuli of touch through the nervous
16:37system, it interprets it as dangerous in
16:39the brain, and it sends out the
16:41electrical impulse to the body in in
16:43your neurons to
16:45essentially do the movement in your hand
16:47to pull that thing away.
16:49So, it controls your breathing, it
16:50controls your muscle movement, it
16:52controls how blood flows around your
16:54body, it keeps your heart beating, it
16:56controls your digestion,
16:58it controls your perception,
17:00it controls your whole experience of
17:03being a human being, essentially. And
17:05you can do a much deeper dive on the
17:07different parts of the nervous system.
17:09You've got the central nervous system
17:11and the peripheral nervous system, and
17:12then you have within that the somatic
17:14and the autonomic nervous system. But
17:17for for today, we're just going to break
17:18it down as simply as possible on what
17:20you really need to know.
17:21You have kind of two states. When I talk
17:24about your nervous system being
17:25dysregulated or activated, what I'm
17:27talking about is a sympathetic
17:30nervous system state. That is what we
17:33know as the fight or flight state. That
17:36is when your your system essentially
17:37becomes activated. So, if you are a
17:41healthy human being who is not in a
17:43state of chronic dysregulation or
17:45survival mode, it's very normal for you
17:47to shift in and out of these two states.
17:49That's kind of the the optimal way of
17:53operating. I actually see an opposite
17:56situation where people figure out how
17:57good it feels to regulate their nervous
17:59systems, and then they avoid ever going
18:01into a sympathetic state in their
18:02nervous system because they think it's
18:04bad or it feels bad. You're supposed
18:06like your nervous system is there for
18:08you to use it. It's there to protect
18:09you. If you need to go into fight or
18:11flight, if you are in a high-stress
18:13situation, that's not always a bad
18:15thing. What's a bad thing is when you
18:18are in the sympathetic state and you're
18:20not able to downregulate out of it. So,
18:23you never shift back into
18:24parasympathetic. You never signal safety
18:27to your body. You never signal to
18:29yourself that this activation, this
18:31action, this whatever it is that
18:33activated you is now over. That is where
18:37you become chronically dysregulated, and
18:39that is where you enter survival mode.
18:41So, it's not even about being constantly
18:43in rest and digest and floating in
18:46Kumbaya. It's about being able to be
18:50activated if you need to be, and being
18:52able to shift out of activation once the
18:54event is over. Because, like I
18:56mentioned, when you're in survival mode,
18:58you are disconnected from your higher
19:00faculties. You are in your technically
19:02your most animalistic state when you're
19:04in survival mode. You are reactive.
19:06You're not able to access your higher
19:09faculties, your creative faculties. I'm
19:11going to just read to you some of the
19:12symptoms so that you can now identify
19:14whether you might be in a state of
19:17chronic dysregulation. So, some of the
19:18symptoms physically are fatigue, tension
19:21and headaches, poor sleep, digestive
19:23issues, rapid heartbeat, and sensory
19:25sensitivity.
19:26So, this is something I know that I'm
19:28becoming dysregulated when I suddenly
19:30just wake up in the morning and I can't
19:32like I'm not relaxed. Like I need to get
19:34out of bed and I feel like I need to
19:35move.
19:36For me, that's very unusual. Some people
19:39are like that, but for me, normally I
19:41like to get up and I like to have a
19:42little bit of a slow morning routine.
19:45And when I feel like I can't do that,
19:46when I feel like I'm running and I open
19:48my eyes early and I'm wide awake even
19:50though I haven't had enough sleep,
19:52I know I'm gone to dysregulation. Then
19:55emotionally, it looks like anxiety or
19:57panic, mood swings, numbness, that's a
19:59really big one, feeling really easily
20:02overwhelmed, so like everything is
20:03overwhelming, even just normal
20:05day-to-day friction of of doing certain
20:08things,
20:09and a constant underlying feeling of
20:12stress. Some mental mental symptoms are
20:15racing thoughts, brain fog,
20:17overthinking, feeling very distracted or
20:19unfocused, and then behaviorally,
20:22this shows up as overworking or staying
20:24busy.
20:25How common is that? I feel like I'm
20:28calling like 90% of you out right now.
20:31Avoidance or numbing. If you're not
20:32overworking or staying busy, then you're
20:35avoiding, you're numbing, you're
20:36procrastinating, you're hiding under a
20:39rock.
20:40Um controlling or rigid behavior, so not
20:42being able to release control, like
20:43trying to control every little thing
20:45either in your relationship or in your
20:47business.
20:48Having addictive habits, so that's
20:50really indicative of being in a
20:51dysregulated nervous system state
20:53because when you are dysregulated, you
20:55feel like you have to self-soothe, and
20:57we'll talk about that in a second.
21:00People-pleasing, so this the fight or
21:02flight state is actually longer than
21:03that. It's fight, flight, freeze, or
21:05fawn. Fawn is people pleasing. Fawn is
21:09where we're trying to tune to the energy
21:11of the people around us and we're trying
21:12to get a sense of safety because all of
21:14this is to get a sense of safety.
21:17We're trying to get a sense of safety
21:18from getting people's approval or
21:21getting people's validation cuz we don't
21:22feel safe.
21:25And another symptom behaviorally is
21:26emotional reactivity or shutdown. So
21:29you're really reactive or sensitive or
21:31you're just shutting down withdrawing.
21:33Now we could go into each of the
21:34different states because there's
21:36different things you can do for each of
21:37the different states, but we don't have
21:38time for that today. That's not the
21:39topic of this video. I do go deeper on
21:41that in my community if you want to
21:43check that out. But for now, I just want
21:45you to notice if any of that resonated
21:47with you and how long you may have been
21:49in this state if it does resonate with
21:51you. And then I want you to realize how
21:54much potential you've been cutting
21:56yourself off from by being in this state
21:59and now by staying in this state.
22:01You cannot be in creative mode whilst
22:05you are in survival mode.
22:08And one of the scariest things about
22:10coming back into a state of regulation
22:13is you have to come back into your body.
22:16And when you've been disregulated for so
22:18long, you essentially have been
22:20disconnected from yourself and from your
22:22emotions for a really long time.
22:25So we end up disregulated and we stay
22:27disregulated and then we end up just
22:29numbing and self-soothing. This is why
22:31people have addictive patterns. This is
22:34why people scroll so much. This is why
22:36we binge eat. This is why we have
22:37shopping addictions
22:39because we're doing everything we can to
22:42numb and distract ourselves rather than
22:46coming back into our body, bringing our
22:48awareness back into the here and now
22:50because it feels too painful for our
22:53awareness to be in the here and now
22:54because that would require us
22:56reconnecting with ourselves and feeling
22:59emotions that we've probably been
23:01avoiding feeling. And so this is the
23:03biggest key I'm going to give you and
23:05it's something you can't bypass. The
23:07path back to regulation is feeling.
23:10The good, the bad, the ugly. You have to
23:13let yourself feel what you've been
23:15avoiding. And this is going to help you
23:17break so many habits when you actually
23:19start to do this and go to the root
23:20cause and you're going to have to kind
23:22of micro do- dose this and build it up.
23:24It's not going to be something you can
23:25like one and done and just become
23:27magically amazingly regulated all of a
23:29sudden. No, it happens through
23:31consistency over time. Consistently
23:35choosing something that's regulating
23:36over something that's self-soothing.
23:38But, this is something that has
23:39completely changed my habits. I used to
23:41vape, I used to smoke, I used to drink,
23:43I used to do I used to eat junk food and
23:47the more connected I became to myself,
23:50the more I felt what I was avoiding
23:51feeling, the better it felt to be here
23:54and now in my body, which is a the state
23:57of regulation that we're trying to get
23:58to in that state of in- internal calm,
24:01the less I desired to numb and
24:04self-soothe. I didn't need it anymore.
24:07And I remember I was doing this work and
24:09I was regulating and I'm going to give
24:10you some specific things you can do in a
24:11second, but I was doing this work and
24:14I was I I'd given up so many of my
24:17habits. It was a long time really really
24:19long time since I smoked a cigarette. I
24:21smoked a cigarette probably last time I
24:22smoked a cigarette was I don't know, 6
24:24years ago, 7 years ago. And I kind of
24:27just did it because people at work were
24:28doing it. I wasn't really ever addicted.
24:31But, I lost the desire for it
24:32completely, especially as I became more
24:34regulated. And I remember one day I was
24:38on the way to the airport and something
24:39happened and I was feeling a lot of
24:41anxiety.
24:42And I hadn't felt that much anxiety in a
24:44really long time. And there was a woman
24:46outside the airport smoking a cigarette
24:48and I got the feeling of desire in my
24:50body that I wanted a cigarette in that
24:52moment. Out of the blue it came out of
24:54nowhere. And I immediately made that
24:56link. That desire to numb and
24:59self-soothe and smoke a cigarette is
25:02there because I feel very anxious right
25:04now. So, the cigarette only would feel
25:07good because it would soothe the
25:08anxiety. And so, if I want to get rid of
25:10the desire for the cigarette, I need to
25:11look at why is the anxiety there that
25:13needs soothing in the first place?
25:15Because if I get rid of the anxiety, the
25:16desire for the cigarette's going to go
25:18away. Now, I didn't The desire wasn't
25:19that strong that I actually wants to go
25:21and do it. And if you smoke, no
25:22judgment. But, this just gave me so much
25:24perspective as to why we have the habits
25:27that we have and why they're so hard to
25:28kick. It's because they're serving us.
25:30They are soothing us. They are tending
25:34to an emotion or to something internally
25:37that we don't want to tend to. It's like
25:39putting a band-aid over it. And for a
25:42while, maybe that band-aid is helping
25:44you. Maybe it's working for you. But,
25:47the self-soothing behaviors, they kind
25:49of just give you a temporary relief in
25:51the moment. They don't regulate your
25:53nervous system. Okay? So, this is where
25:55to distinguish and I'm going to give you
25:56some actual practices that do regulate
25:57your nervous system. You've got
25:59self-soothing behaviors that numb and
26:01distract you and disconnect you that
26:02give you temporary relief in the moment,
26:04which sometimes we need that. Okay,
26:06that's fine. But, they don't actually
26:09signal safety to your body. They don't
26:11actually regulate your nervous system.
26:13They don't actually bring you to a state
26:16of calm. What does do that and what does
26:18bring you out of survival mode gradually
26:20with consistency is regulating behaviors
26:24and regulating practices, okay? So,
26:26these are really different to
26:27self-soothing behaviors. Self-soothing
26:28behaviors are things that disconnect you
26:30from your body and from the present
26:32moment and from your emotions and
26:34distract you and numb you. So,
26:36regulating behaviors are the opposite.
26:38Regulating behaviors are things that
26:40make you feel more connected to your
26:41body, more present, and more grounded.
26:44So, things like simply naming the
26:46emotion, naming where you feel it in
26:48your body, that's a regulating behavior.
26:51So, when you notice you feel a
26:52particular way, you go, "Oh, I'm feeling
26:55discomfort." "Oh, no, it's actually
26:58maybe a little bit of shame. I'm feeling
27:00it in my stomach." That's a regulating
27:02behavior because it's connecting to to
27:03your body and to the present moment and
27:05to what you're experiencing.
27:07Another really regulating behavior is
27:08breathwork. So, there's one in
27:10particular that I always recommend that
27:11I love. It's called alternate nostril
27:13breathing. You essentially breathe in
27:16through one nostril, breathe out through
27:18the same nostril, switch,
27:20and repeat, switch, and repeat. That's
27:23very regulating. I love that one.
27:25But, there's many other breathwork
27:27practices you can do. There's a channel
27:29on YouTube. It's free. It's called
27:32Breathe with Sandi. He has I probably
27:35thousands of videos by now. And all of
27:38those are super regulating. He has
27:40specific ones on nervous system
27:41regulation, actually. Another regulating
27:43practice is movement, like gentle
27:46movement, like stretching or yoga with
27:49deep breathing. Meditation is obviously
27:52very regulating. Journaling can be very
27:54regulating. Connecting to a safe friend
27:58or connection and confiding in them is
28:00very regulating.
28:01And just in general, giving yourself
28:04space and time. If you notice that
28:06you're really dysregulated,
28:08allowing yourself to just pause and take
28:11some time to just slow down.
28:14That's what's going to regulate you.
28:15Without watching TV, without consuming
28:17anything, just being with yourself and
28:20slowing down and turning with it. That
28:22is essentially what is always going to
28:24regulate you.
28:25Now, you can look up different
28:27regulating practices for the different
28:28nervous system states. If you're in
28:30fight, you might want to do some shaking
28:32or some different things. But, the the
28:34thing that's kind of the key point with
28:36regulation is when you're dysregulated,
28:39the last thing you want to do is
28:40regulate. Just remember me saying that.
28:42It's going to be the last thing you want
28:44to do, and it's going to be the only
28:45thing that you need to do. You've got to
28:48realize what you're cutting yourself off
28:50from. You're cutting yourself off from
28:51the good. You're cutting yourself off
28:53from perceiving the full picture. You're
28:56keeping yourself trapped in a negative
28:59feedback loop that is draining you of
29:02your life force energy if you don't take
29:04care of this, take care of yourself, and
29:05take care of your nervous system.
29:07So, you're going to feel a lot of
29:09resistance to regulation. When you're in
29:11that fight or flight mode, all you want
29:13to do is fight or flight. You don't want
29:15to slow down, but it's the best thing
29:17you could do for yourself. Guys, I still
29:19have to talk myself through if I get
29:21into a little bit of dysregulation and I
29:22have to take some time to integrate or
29:25take some time to slow down.
29:28I still, when I'm dysregulated, will
29:30argue with myself and I'll go, "No, I'll
29:32I'll just do this. I'll do this. I'll
29:33finish this. I'll finish that." And I
29:34have to talk myself through it and go,
29:36"No, no, no, no, no. That's more of
29:38dysregulation speaking. That's more of
29:40that fight survival mode speaking. You
29:42need to shut up, sit down, and relax."
29:46And every single time I do it, even
29:48though I hate doing it in the moment cuz
29:51it's the last thing you want to do cuz
29:52it feels kind of unsafe because
29:54remember, this fight or flight mode,
29:55this survival mode, is a protective
29:58mode. It feels like it's protecting you.
30:01Every single time I do it though, I
30:02realize, "Oh, wow. Okay, I am safe."
30:05Because what you're doing in that moment
30:06is you're signaling safety to your body,
30:08okay? So, you can't signal safety to
30:11your body until you do something
30:12physically to actually slow down and
30:14say, "Hey, you're okay, right? You're
30:16safe. We're not running. We're not going
30:18to keep running. We're not going to keep
30:19fighting. We're not going to keep
30:20planning. We're not going to keep
30:21procrastinating. We're going to actually
30:23tune within and reconnect." That is the
30:26moment that your body realizes that
30:27you're safe.
30:29But you're going to feel resistance to
30:30doing that every single time because up
30:32until that moment, your body doesn't
30:35think you're safe. And the other caveat
30:37I want to mention with this, so there's
30:40There's of regulating practices you can
30:41do. I really recommend that you make a
30:42little list of things that like
30:44you just have on hand. So, when you
30:46notice yourself soothing, you can go,
30:48"Oh,
30:49I'm scrolling again. Okay, let me go to
30:51my list of like my feel-good practices
30:53or my regulating practices. Let me go
30:55and do one of those." And then see, do I
30:57want to scroll after that? That's how
30:58you start introducing regulation as your
31:01baseline, right? So, that's kind of one
31:03component of it. The other thing that is
31:05incredibly regulating, you guys are not
31:08going to be shocked at me saying this,
31:10is shadow work. Is healing emotional
31:14wounds. Because often times,
31:16we don't get into a state of survival
31:20mode and a state of dysregulation
31:22because of something that's actually
31:23happening in front of us here and now,
31:26it's because of something that happened
31:27in the past. And that past experience is
31:30still living in our body, and we're
31:33still perceiving it as a threat, and
31:35it's still dysregulating our nervous
31:36system. So, when you do shadow work,
31:39when you do healing, that actually
31:42regulates your nervous system because
31:43you start to release the event from your
31:46body. You start to release this
31:48experience from your body, and then your
31:50body can stop perceiving this threat
31:52internally that you've stored. I
31:54actually have an example of this. So, I
31:57was in three quite unhealthy long-term
32:00relationships until I met my current
32:02partner. He's very healthy, he's very
32:03secure, he's amazing.
32:05>> [snorts]
32:05>> And when I met my current partner, I
32:07still had some of the wounds with me
32:09from my past relationship. So, this
32:11relationship, him being so secure, was
32:13very healing for me. It was a great
32:16mirror for me to look at the stuff that
32:18I was still carrying. Because I knew he
32:21was so solid and secure, I knew that
32:23anything that I was kind of seeing, it
32:26was a projection of something I was
32:27carrying from the past. And so, early on
32:30in the relationship,
32:32it was his first time going like on a
32:34boys' night out, okay?
32:36And we were all peaches, everything was
32:39amazing until he went on this night out.
32:42And I became triggered in that moment.
32:44Why? Because I had past trauma of when
32:48someone went on a night out in a past
32:49relationship, it ended up in betrayal or
32:51it ended up in me getting hurt or it
32:52ended up in just like weird stuff
32:54happening that I wasn't comfortable
32:55with.
32:56>> [snorts]
32:56>> And so, my
32:58brain perceived, okay, this thing is
33:00happening. And even though there was no
33:02actual threat to me or to my to my
33:06safety or sense of safety in the
33:08relationship by him going out, it was
33:10perceiving a threat based on a past
33:13experience where I did feel unsafe,
33:15where I did feel betrayed, right? And
33:18once that trigger took hold of me and
33:20once I went into that dysregulated fight
33:22or flight state, my perception went
33:25zoom.
33:26Like literally just narrowed in. And
33:28suddenly, all I could see was the
33:30supporting evidence that this current
33:32partner was now must have been doing
33:35something something wrong or betraying
33:37me somehow or something sneaky, right?
33:39And so, I was literally on his story
33:41like, oh my god, on Instagram like,
33:42well, he's he hasn't posted a story in
33:4545 minutes. That means 45 minutes ago
33:48like my brain started filling in all of
33:50these potential worst-case scenarios
33:52that were not reality.
33:55And instead of me acting on those
33:56things, right? What I wanted to do was
33:59drive to where he was or call him or do
34:02all of this other stuff,
34:03instead of going that direction or
34:05self-soothe or smoke, whatever it is
34:06that I wanted to do in that moment,
34:09I turned inward and I said, no, no, no.
34:11This is from the past. This is from the
34:15another relationship. This has nothing
34:17to do with him. I have to give him some
34:20trust until he proves to me that I can't
34:22trust him, right? And so, I went within
34:24and I used that as an opportunity to
34:25work on that trigger and that internal
34:27wound that was creating this feeling of
34:28being threatened. And when When that, I
34:31was able to create space from that
34:33integrator and heal it, and then that
34:35that feeling that I was under threat
34:37went away. I was able to see the full
34:38picture. And then that partner arrived
34:40home like literally 20 minutes later,
34:43and had food for me, and everything was
34:45fine, and there was actually never
34:46anything wrong. All of these signs I was
34:49seeing when I was activated, they were
34:50not reality. They were not reality. So,
34:53this is what triggers and survival mode
34:55can do to you.
34:57So, working when you get triggered,
34:59working with the emotional wounds that
35:01are triggered
35:02is going to help you become a lot more
35:05regulated over time, because you won't
35:06be perceiving as many threats in your
35:08environment, because you won't have
35:10stored so many things internally
35:13that cause you to be on the guard for
35:16things that have anything to do with
35:17that past experience. Okay, so to
35:19finish, please remember, when you are
35:21calm, when you are regulated, when you
35:23are at ease, the divine energy, the
35:26divine creative energy of the universe
35:27can pass through you. It can pass to you
35:30and through you and into your life,
35:31because you are an energetic match to
35:33it, okay? When you're in an open,
35:35expansive, creative state, you are in
35:37harmony with the creative force that
35:39created this entire universe and created
35:41you. You are more aligned with the God
35:44within you, with the consciousness, that
35:45higher mind, that higher aspect of you,
35:48that fractal of source consciousness,
35:50which is you. You are in resonance with
35:52that, okay? When you're in resonance
35:55with that, your creative faculties come
35:57online, and you are able to become the
35:59creator being that you were designed to
36:01be. Man was created in God's image. So,
36:05being regulated and being at ease
36:08essentially means being in control of
36:11yourself, of your state, but also having
36:13access to your creative power, which if
36:16you're trying to manifest a change in
36:18your life, you need that. Whereas when
36:20you're stuck in survival mode, you're
36:22stuck in your animal mind, that fight or
36:25flight impulse, you are stuck in
36:27reactive modes. And if you're stuck in
36:29reactive mode, that means you're
36:31continuing to be defined by everything
36:33around you. You're at the whim of your
36:35circumstances. You're at the whim of
36:37your bank account, you're at the whim of
36:39what people say to you, and that means
36:41you are going to stay energetically
36:43resonating with whatever's happening
36:45around you, because you're allowing
36:47what's happening to define you, rather
36:49than you defining what's happening. In
36:52that state, that reactive survival
36:54state, you will find it impossible to
36:57open up beyond your circumstances, to
37:01open up beyond the limitations of the
37:04past. That destructive state is not in
37:08energetic resonance with the creative
37:11harmonious energy that's flowing through
37:13the universe and is freely available to
37:15you if you just get an energetic
37:17alignment with it. So, hope this has
37:18inspired you to focus more on your
37:21states and focus really on nurturing
37:25your nervous system and becoming more
37:26regulated. Because doing so gives you
37:30access to your internal control system.
37:34It allows you to have a moment of space
37:38between when something happens and how
37:40you respond, rather than reacting on
37:42autopilot. It allows you the capacity
37:46to choose how you think,
37:49to choose how you respond, to choose
37:52what you believe.
37:53And that capacity is the most vital
37:56component of reality creation. Because
37:59when you can choose how you think, how
38:01you believe, how you respond, changes
38:04automatically. And then when you respond
38:06differently, the world responds
38:08differently to you. So, not only does
38:11coming out of survival mode, becoming
38:12more regulated give you access to your
38:14internal control system where you can
38:16actually start controlling your mind and
38:18your thoughts,
38:19but it also opens up your energy so that
38:22you can access those higher faculties
38:25and that divine creative energy that is
38:28you, that is a part of you, and that is
38:30going to play an integral role in you
38:32aligning with the most miraculous, the
38:34most expansive experiences that you can
38:38align with.
38:39And I just want to reassure you if
38:40you're feeling like, "Wow, I've been in
38:41survival mode my whole life. This is
38:43bad. This is terrible. Why am I like
38:45this?" Your nervous system has been
38:46looking out for you, okay? It's a very
38:49intelligent system. It's been trying to
38:51protect you. It's been trying to serve
38:53you. So don't get down on yourself.
38:56Don't beat yourself up because all
38:58that's doing is going to create more
39:00stress for you. I want to give you this
39:01example actually. When I was learning
39:02about the nervous system at first, I
39:04just gotten two puppies and one of the
39:05puppies was very sensitive.
39:08And I could see when she became when she
39:10heard a weird noise in the apartment we
39:12used to live in, she would become very
39:14dysregulated and she would start
39:16barking.
39:17Now rather than me shouting at her and
39:19telling her she's a stupid dog and why
39:21is she barking? Why is she like this?
39:23I approached her with compassion, with
39:26trying to understand, "Oh, okay. What's
39:28got her all riled up? Why is she
39:30suddenly so sensitive to these noises?"
39:32And then I was actually able to help
39:33her.
39:34So I want you to almost treat yourself
39:37as a puppy because I noticed when my dog
39:39was in the state, she couldn't hear my
39:41commands. She couldn't think logically.
39:43She was just thinking about like, "We're
39:45under threat. We're in danger and I need
39:47to fight. I need to bark here, right?"
39:49You are that puppy. You are that puppy
39:52when you're dysregulated in your nervous
39:53system. You're not thinking clearly.
39:55You're not making sense. You can't like
39:57solve things logically. You can't see
39:59the big picture.
40:01And so all you really need in that
40:02moment is your own self-compassion.
40:06Is your own awareness and validation.
40:09You don't need to keep standing against
40:11yourself. In fact, that's just going to
40:13dysregulate you even more and it's going
40:15to keep you disconnected from yourself
40:18and why you ended up in the state in the
40:19first place.
40:20So, self-compassion
40:23is the last thing I'm going to leave you
40:24with.
40:25Get on your own side. Understand, like
40:28really try to understand yourself and
40:30why you got to this point.
40:31That is all for this video, guys. I hope
40:33it helped. Please remember you have
40:35everything you need within you to align
40:37with the life of your dreams. You just
40:39have to let go of all the noise and tune
40:41back into yourself.
40:42I love you all so much and I will see
40:44you guys next week.

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