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How To Reprogram Your Mind To Break Any Addiction | Dr. Joe Dispenza — Transcript

by Dr Rangan Chatterjee · 15,803 words · 2,283 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00The only challenge I think with
0:01addictions is that if you can't think
0:04greater than how you feel, your life
0:07will stay the same. Yeah. The solution
0:09then is
0:12[Music]
0:14I thought today I wanted to talk a
0:17little bit about addiction.
0:20So as we speak, I've been a medical
0:22doctor for 21 years. So if I look at my
0:26patient population,
0:28but even if I look across society as a
0:30whole these days, it's very hard not to
0:33draw the conclusion that almost everyone
0:36is addicted to something, whether that
0:40be their phones, Instagram, alcohol,
0:44online pornography, drugs, whatever it
0:46might be. And so I'm interested, Dr.
0:49Joe, what's your view on addiction?
0:52what's driving so much addiction and
0:55what can people do to try and break
0:58free? Sure. I think it's a a a question
1:00worthy of a conversation. I think that
1:03um uh we've been programmed and it's not
1:06a good thing or a bad thing. It's just
1:08how we've been programmed. So, um I
1:10think behind every substance addiction
1:13or some addiction on some
1:17gaming or media or whatever, there's an
1:20emotion
1:21that the person is doing their best to
1:23regulate. So, let's just say a person
1:25has
1:27been exposed to a trauma, right? And and
1:30when we have an event in our life that
1:32changes our emotional state, the
1:35stronger the emotion we feel from the
1:37shock, the betrayal, the trauma, the
1:39news, whatever it is, the more altered
1:41we are inside of us, the more the brain
1:44freezes a frame and takes a snapshot.
1:46And that's called the long-term memory.
1:48And long-term memories, we remember them
1:50because we can remember the feeling
1:51associated with them. So what most
1:53people don't know is that trauma or
1:55those series of events alters our
1:57internal state and every time we think
2:00about or remember the trauma we produce
2:02the same chemistry in the brain and body
2:05as if the event was occurring. Now the
2:07body is so objective that it doesn't
2:09know the difference between the real
2:11life experience that's creating that
2:13emotion or the emotion that person is
2:15fabricating by thought alone. And it
2:17only takes a a thought and a feeling an
2:19image and an emotion and a stimulus and
2:21response and you're actually
2:23conditioning the body subconsciously
2:25into that emotional state. And that sets
2:27the baseline of that person's emotional
2:30state. So then the person goes, "God, I
2:32feel empty. I feel anxious. I feel
2:35unworthy. I feel resentment. I feel
2:37frustrated. And I don't know how to
2:40change it." So then they look for things
2:43in their outer world to make that
2:45feeling go away. So whether it's a drug,
2:48whether it's gaming, whether it's
2:50pornography, uh whether it's
2:52complaining, doesn't matter what it is,
2:55but let's just use a pill as an example
2:58or a drug, a recreational drug. A person
3:00takes a recreational drug. The moment
3:02they take the recreational drug, they
3:05notice a change in their emotional
3:06state. And the moment they notice that
3:08change in their emotional state, they
3:10associate that change with what caused
3:12it. And they they remember what what
3:14caused it. So that starts to create a
3:16dependency. Now I think there are
3:19degrees of addictions. Some are very
3:21physiological. You know receptors are
3:23modified. But when you get right down to
3:26it,
3:27an addiction is when the body has been
3:29conditioned to be the mind. So then the
3:31person every time they start feeling the
3:33emptiness, they feel the unworthiness,
3:35they feel the frustration, they feel the
3:37anxiety, their brain creates the image
3:40of what they need to do to make that
3:42feeling go away. And the last time or
3:44the last series of times it was that ex
3:46exogenous substance or that that
3:48activity that made it go away. Now
3:50here's the problem.
3:53Let's use gaming as an example. Okay. So
3:56when you blow someone up or you break
4:00through a certain level or you shoot
4:01someone or you get points for whatever
4:03you're doing in a game, there's a
4:06release of dopamine in the brain. And
4:07dopamine is the reward chemical. It's
4:09the pleasure chemical. The problem is is
4:11that the amount of dopamine that's
4:13released in in a very short interval of
4:16time is outside of normal. So now rush
4:20dopamine into the brain and the receptor
4:21sites on the outside of the cells say
4:24this is way too much dopamine than I'm
4:26used to processing. So the receptor
4:28sites actually close down. They they
4:31shut down. So now in order for the
4:33person to get that same feeling, they
4:36got to play more. Yeah. They got to do
4:38more. or they got to that's the stimulus
4:40has got to be greater. So so over time
4:42we start recalibrating
4:45those pleasure centers those receptors
4:47to a higher level. Now what's the
4:49significance of that in the absence of
4:53that stimulation
4:55our pleasure centers have been hijacked
4:57to such a high level that we can't find
4:59pleasure in anything. You can't find
5:01pleasure from a sunset. He can't find
5:03pleasure from sitting down at the table
5:05and having a meal with your family,
5:06playing with a dog, going see your
5:08grandparents. A lot, especially for a
5:10lot of children, you you can look at
5:11them and you can see that something
5:13happened to them where they're just
5:14glazed over. That's because they're
5:16kidnapped by the technology. And so, in
5:20order for them to get that same rush,
5:22they have to play more. They have to do
5:23more. Now, here's really the big
5:25problem.
5:26Learning should be a reward in and of
5:28itself, right? I mean, learning should
5:30be a reward, but now for most people,
5:34they need a stimulus. They need
5:35something to drive their attention to
5:37whatever they're learning. And and now
5:39attention is dependent on something
5:41outside of us. And when you capture
5:43people's attention, you capture uh their
5:45energy. So, and you can program them as
5:47a result of it. So,
5:49the solution then is to teach people how
5:52to self-regulate.
5:53So we see people that come to our work
5:55that have had problems with addictions,
5:58all kinds of addictions, but really it's
6:00some emotional addiction that really
6:02they're trying to change, right? And so
6:04they just been programmed the thing that
6:05it has to happen outside of outside of
6:07us. So what we discovered in our
6:10research is that you could actually turn
6:13that hypnosis, that conditioning around
6:16and not wait for the experience to
6:18produce the emotion, but teach people
6:20how to self-regulate their emotional
6:21states and be able to trade resentment,
6:25frustration, anxiety for an elevated
6:28emotion. And if you keep practicing it,
6:31you get really good at what you
6:32practice. So good at it that you
6:35actually become it. So, so then when
6:37people start to self-regulate, we
6:39actually measure what happens to their
6:41physiology when they do it properly and
6:43it becomes a habit. And so then when the
6:45person notices then that their body is
6:48out of balance, they have one of two
6:49choices. They can rely on some exogenous
6:51substance or something outside of them
6:53or they can take a moment and
6:55recalibrate their emotional state. And
6:57and the only the only challenge I think
7:00with addictions is that the moment you
7:02say I'm not going to drink coffee, I'm
7:06not going to smoke cigarettes. I'm not
7:08going to drink alcohol. I'm not going to
7:10have sugar. The moment you make that
7:12conscious declaration with your
7:14conscious mind, the body has been
7:16conditioned and dependent on that
7:17substance. So two hours goes by and the
7:20body has modified its receptor sites and
7:23it starts talking to the brain. And it
7:24starts saying, "Rangan,
7:26why don't you start tomorrow? Tomorrow's
7:28a better day. Any other day but this
7:30day, this is not a good day for you.
7:31It's my parents' fault. It's my boss.
7:34It's the news." And that thought is
7:36being driven by the body mind. Now, if
7:40we act on that thought, we make the same
7:42choice, we do the same thing, we create
7:43the same experience, we feel the same
7:45emotion, and then all of a sudden that
7:47emptiness or that emotional state goes
7:49away and the person returns back to the
7:51known. So there is a biological, there
7:54is a neurological, there's a chemical,
7:56there's a hormonal genetic death of the
7:58old self because you're breaking that
8:00stimulus and response. That inhibition
8:02then causes the body to feel chaos. It's
8:06it's looking for the known, the
8:08familiar. So instead of white knuckling
8:11it to the other side, we teach people
8:13how to regulate Yeah. their and internal
8:15emotional states. And over time, you
8:17start seeing the moment you're feeling
8:19an elevated emotion like gratitude or
8:21appreciation or kindness or care and
8:22love with life, you don't need anything
8:24outside of you to make you feel better,
8:26you're actually doing it by yourself.
8:28And and people can sustain these states
8:30like any habit for an extended period of
8:32time. Yeah. There's a there's a a phrase
8:34I've heard you say before, Dr. Joe, that
8:37people often mistake love for pleasure.
8:41And when people start to feel whole
8:43again, they have less of a need for
8:45pleasure. Yeah. And I think that really
8:47speaks to what you've just said. You
8:49know, when you feel these, as you call
8:52them, elevated emotions,
8:55you have less of a need for these quick
8:58dopamine fixes, right? Yes. Exactly. I
9:01mean, think about it. I mean, how could
9:02you want if you're whole? You If you're
9:06whole, there there's no need to want.
9:08There's no lack. There's no separation.
9:10What does that mean? Whole. Well, we see
9:12we here's how we describe it. Um, we do
9:16a lot of studies on brain coherence and
9:19heart coherence. And let's talk about
9:21what it's what it's not. Okay? I mean,
9:24so, so when there's an emergency or when
9:26we're aroused by some threat or some
9:29condition in our life or we can't
9:30predict an outcome, we can't control an
9:32outcome, we have the perception that
9:33something in our world could possibly
9:35get worse, we switch on that primitive
9:38nervous system, right? that fight
9:39orflight nervous system and now the game
9:41is fight or hide. The problem is is with
9:44human beings when we're out of we feel
9:46like a loss of control. Our brain all of
9:48a sudden tries to control everything in
9:50our life. So every person, every object,
9:54everything, every place, every
9:55experience that you've ever had is
9:56mapped in your neoortex. So the arousal
9:58of the stress hormones drives the brain
10:01into a very high brain wave state called
10:03high beta. But then as you shift your
10:05attention from one meeting to another
10:07meeting to another text to another
10:08person to another thing to another place
10:10you have to go every one of those
10:12different elements has a neurological
10:14network in the brain. So like a
10:17lightning storm in the clouds the brain
10:20starts firing out of order. It starts
10:22firing incoherently. And when the brain
10:24is incoherent we're incoherent. And so
10:27think about when you're stressed the
10:29most common thing that people do is they
10:31overfocus.
10:33they narrow their focus on whatever it
10:35is that's driving them to pay attention
10:38to it. Yeah. And so then the act of
10:41paying attention to the problem is
10:42actually driving the brain further out
10:44of balance. And we've studied this. When
10:47you analyze that problem, that
10:49circumstance, that condition within the
10:51emotion that you are feeling and derived
10:54by the hormones of stress, you'll make
10:56your brain worse 100% of the time
10:59because the analysis, the overanalysis
11:01is driving it further into a higher
11:03thinking, higher beta brainwife state.
11:05So this kind of narrow focus
11:08is what causes the brain to be a house
11:10divided against itself. So we thought,
11:12well, why don't we do the opposite? Why?
11:14Instead of narrowing our focus on the
11:16cause, something physical, something
11:17material, because the hormones of stress
11:19actually heighten the senses and cause
11:21us to become materialist. So matter is
11:24the issue when there's survival. It's
11:26whatever's around the corner. It's
11:27whatever is going to happen. So we said,
11:29okay, let's teach people something else.
11:31Let's teach them how to broaden their
11:32focus. And as they broaden their focus
11:34and take their attention off of
11:36everything material and everything known
11:37and focus on space, focus on nothing.
11:41The act of doing that actually starts
11:44slowing down the analytical mind. You
11:46can't analyze when you're sensing and it
11:48starts to change the person's brain
11:50waves into a slower brain wave pattern.
11:53And so now as you start slowing your
11:54brain waves from that high beta, you
11:57start slowing down. You're shifting
11:58gears. You go into a mid-range beta,
12:00then you go into a lowle beta. And then
12:02all of a sudden you get into alpha. Now
12:04alpha, when you're in alpha, the voice
12:06in your head, the critic in your mind
12:08goes away. that voice that's talking to
12:11you stops and the brain tends to see in
12:13images in pictures. That's the imaginary
12:16state. That's a creative state. In an
12:18alpha, when you're out of survival,
12:20you're looking for answers, you're
12:21creative. You're looking for new ways of
12:23doing things. So, when they broaden
12:25their focus, not only they move into
12:27alpha, but all of a sudden, we start
12:30seeing those different compartments of
12:31the brain that were once subdivided.
12:34Yeah. all of a sudden starting to unify.
12:37Different communities of neurons that
12:38were fragmented start to synchronize.
12:41That's what you call coherence, right?
12:42So what sinks in the brain links in the
12:44brain. So when you see the front of the
12:46brain talking to the back of the brain,
12:47the right side of the brain talking the
12:48left side of the brain, you start
12:50knowing something good is starting to
12:51happen and the person is starting to
12:52create more order. So when you see those
12:56psychic union of two hemispheres coming
12:58together, you know the polarity that
13:01person starts to feel incredibly whole
13:05and coherence. When you have waves that
13:07are coherent when they build or
13:09interfere with each other, their waves
13:12get bigger and the higher the amplitude
13:14of the wave, the higher the energy in
13:16the brain. All of a sudden, the person
13:17starts to become very relaxed and no
13:21longer stressed and in a program and
13:24kind of alert and awake. At the same
13:27time, when you're
13:29resentful or frustrated or impatient and
13:32you're sitting in traffic, the same
13:34hormones are released and your heart is
13:36actually beating like there's a tiger
13:38behind you, but you can't run, you can't
13:41fight, you can't hide, and the the
13:44traffic is frustrating you even more.
13:45you're releasing more of those
13:46chemicals. So, the heart starts beating
13:48against the closed system. And when that
13:51happens, the heart starts beating out of
13:53order. Now, the heart's incoherent. So,
13:55when incoherent waves interfere with
13:57each other, they're out of order. They
13:59diminish energy in the brain. Energy
14:01leaves the heart. And this is when we
14:03stop trusting. This is not a time to
14:06communicate. This is not a time to
14:08learn. This is not a time to be
14:09creative. And energy leaves the heart.
14:13So we discovered then when a person
14:15truly starts practicing those elevated
14:18emotions, the heart gets very orderly,
14:21very coherent as well. And now when you
14:24start feeling the emotions of the things
14:26that you want in your life or that you
14:28would like to create in your life
14:31ahead of the actual experience, it's
14:34impossible for you to want it. Why could
14:38you possibly want it if you feel like
14:40it's already happened? Now, here's the
14:42cool part. Maintain that modified state
14:45of being. Get so good at doing it with
14:47your eyes closed.
14:49Start practicing with your eyes open.
14:51And if you can maintain that modified
14:53state of mind and body your entire day,
14:56coherent heart, soon as energy reaches
14:58the heart, we've done thousands of
15:00studies on this, it's going straight to
15:02the brain. The heart starts to inform
15:04the brain that it's safe to create.
15:08At the exact same time, the heart begins
15:10to produce an external magnetic field.
15:12You got a Wi-Fi signal now. You start
15:14feeling connected. You start feeling
15:15more whole.
15:17The brain is coher and it's it's
15:19directing a very clear vision of what it
15:21wants. Combine that clear intention with
15:23an elevated emotion. You have a
15:25different Wi-Fi signal. You have a
15:27different energy. And and now the cool
15:29part about that is you start to see
15:32those synchronicities, those
15:33coincidences, those opportunities start
15:36showing up in your life. And you're not
15:37going anywhere to get them. They're
15:40actually coming to you. Now, let's just
15:42look at the biology of this. Yeah.
15:45Epigenetics says it's the environment
15:47that signals the gene. Genes don't
15:50create disease. Our response to the
15:51environment actually creates disease.
15:54Well, the end product of an experience
15:56in the environment is called an emotion.
15:59So, the person who lives by the same
16:00emotion every single day, the body is so
16:03objective, it's believing it's living in
16:04the same environment. doesn't know the
16:06difference and they keep the same genes
16:08signaled in the same way. Genes make
16:10proteins. Proteins are responsible for
16:12the structure and function of your body.
16:14The expression of proteins is the
16:16expression of life. And the person now
16:18is in the same emotional state. They're
16:19expressing the same genes. And nothing
16:21changes in our life until we change.
16:24Okay. So now the person who trades
16:26resentment and frustration and anger and
16:28everything else for an elevated emotion
16:30and they can sustain that state. The
16:33body's so objective that it's believing
16:35it's living in a different environment.
16:37Yeah. So they're knocking on the genetic
16:39door. So the elevated emotion the person
16:42memorizes.
16:43The body doesn't is so objective it
16:45doesn't know the difference between the
16:47real life experience that's creating
16:48that emotion and the emotion that that
16:50person's regulating by thought alone.
16:51Keep knocking on the genetic door. You
16:54downregulate the gene for disease and
16:56you upregulate the gene for health
16:59because the body's in a different
17:00emotional state and the body's believing
17:02it's living in a different environment.
17:03And we've done studies
17:06with novice meditators and we were
17:08curious to see what kind of biological
17:11changes would take place in one week if
17:14you went all in. Like all in like
17:16immersed yourself in the entire
17:18week-long event like people do on their
17:21one week one week retreats. Yeah. So we
17:23so we we we draw blood and we look at
17:26about 2,882
17:29metabolites all exoomes gene expression
17:33and at the end of 7 days the novice
17:37meditators almost 100% of them show
17:41substantial biological changes in their
17:43blood that suggests that they're living
17:46in a different environment. Now here's
17:47the weird part about it. They're in a
17:50ballroom.
17:51There's nothing going on in a ballroom.
17:53I've been to thousands of ballrooms.
17:55There's nothing very exciting going on
17:57in a ballroom. They're actually making
17:59those changes inwardly. And I say to our
18:01research team,
18:03where are those chemicals coming from?
18:09Where are they coming from? The person's
18:10not taking any substance. It's coming
18:12from within us. And so the nervous
18:14system starts
18:16manufacturing a whole pharmacy of
18:19chemicals equal to the person's
18:21intention and emotional state. And it's
18:24how we think and how we feel that begins
18:27to alter things in our lives. Yeah. I
18:30mean it's absolutely incredible to hear
18:32this. What kind of metabolites or or I
18:36guess chemicals are you measuring? Are
18:39they to do with markers of inflammation?
18:41Yes. um cytoines, markers of
18:44inflammation, markers of the immune
18:46system, markers of the immune system,
18:48exoomes that have very positive effects
18:51that show the cell is in a state of
18:52growth and repair instead of uh in a
18:55state of tissue breakdown or catab. This
18:57is profound because because a lot of
18:58people may not realize that just the way
19:01you sleep. If you have a beautiful 7 and
19:041 half, 8 hours of deep sleep compared
19:07to let's say 5 hours of sleep, the next
19:09day you can measure maybe 700 genes are
19:12expressed differently in the body. You
19:14could be more pro-inflammatory the night
19:15after poor sleep. And what you're
19:18saying, your research is showing that
19:19actually when you take novice
19:21meditators, people who don't know how to
19:23do this, who, you know, don't have years
19:25of experience, they're not monks,
19:27they've not, you know, been train. In
19:29fact, not to interrupt you, in fact, if
19:31they have no experience, they're going
19:33to do really well cuz they're going to
19:34do exactly what you tell them to do.
19:37Especially guys that come and their
19:38wives drag drag them along or people
19:40come and their partner wants them to do
19:42it and they're like, I don't know
19:43anything about this. And I say, you're
19:44the perfect person. Just follow the
19:46instructions. You have no preconceived
19:48notion to undo. They just do exactly
19:50what you ask him. There's the guy. His
19:52heart's blown wide open. He's crying.
19:53He's hugging his wife and she's looking
19:55at me like, "What happened to him? He
19:57just fell into something really big."
19:59So, yes, of course. Is that common in
20:02terms of the people who come to your
20:04work? I'm interested is the difference
20:06between males and females. And something
20:10you said there really resonated with me.
20:12So, in my clinic, what I've seen time
20:15and time again is that men, and they're
20:18well known for this, and of course, this
20:19is a gross generalization, but I've
20:21certainly seen it to be true in my own
20:22experience, is they wait. They've got
20:26things going on. They don't want to see
20:28the doctor. They don't want to go and
20:29get help. And often when they turn up,
20:32the first thing they will say is, "Hey,
20:34doc, look, I'm sorry to bother you. My
20:36wife made the appointment for me. My my
20:38girlfriend told me I have to come in and
20:40see you." It's almost as if they want to
20:42excuse themselves for, hey, I wouldn't
20:44be here wasting your time, but actually,
20:46you know, my other half made me do this.
20:49Is that something you see as well in in
20:51in your work? Um, something similar, but
20:54in terms of this kind of genre, we have
20:56a very high percentage of men, right,
20:59that come to our work. Um, and I think
21:02the number one reason why, Unan, is
21:05because we use science uh as the model.
21:08We we rationalize we give we we combine
21:12quantum physics with neuroscience with
21:13neuroendocrinology with
21:15psychonuroimmunology the mind body
21:17connection epigenetics electromagnetism
21:19we build a model and so guys like they
21:21like the they like to understand all of
21:24that stuff so they can reason with it so
21:26they can leap. Women somehow tend to be
21:29a lot more intuitive. It resonates with
21:31them. They trust that and they just seem
21:34to flow a little differently. But then
21:35again, you know, we have men that that
21:37come and of course a lot of times their
21:39partner wants them to come, but they
21:41really come because they notice the
21:42change in their partner. They're like,
21:45"Wow, they're way different. I can see
21:48that their response to things completely
21:51different." In other words, my memory of
21:53them, this person is not fitting into
21:56how I remember them. They're out of
21:58phase, you know. So, so then when men
22:02finally do commit and they they you
22:04understand the science and and gosh, I
22:06mean, it's a really big thing for a man
22:08to get in touch with those feelings,
22:11right? Cuz in the in the game of
22:13competition, you know, the the rut, you
22:15know, the roost, you're you're always
22:17trying to compete. You're always trying
22:18to get ahead. You're always can't be
22:20vulnerable. Well, um that works for a
22:23really
22:24a good amount of time when you are
22:26matter trying to change matter when you
22:28got to do things and you got to work
22:29hard and you got to be driven and all
22:31that stuff sacrifices. But we teach that
22:34there's another actually another way to
22:36create actually and that is really that
22:39that opportunity for them to open their
22:41hearts. Now, I have stood next to men
22:43that have done it and completely
22:45reversed the health condition within a
22:47very short amount of time because, you
22:49know, here comes the house of cards. You
22:51know, they they just realize that
22:52they've been holding this facade, this
22:55image of themselves just so that they
22:57can keep up and play the game. And um
23:01instead of waiting for crisis or disease
23:04or diagnosis
23:06um and once they get in touch with their
23:08feelings again there's nothing like a
23:11man who's leading with his heart. Oh my
23:13god they consider the whole and and so
23:15so and then you take a look at women you
23:17know and this is just again a general
23:18observation. Women hold the family
23:20together. Uh they make a whole lot of
23:23sacrifices. They continue to forgive. Um
23:26they do a lot of things. they put
23:28themselves after they've taken care of
23:29their family and all of a sudden they
23:32already know how to love. You just teach
23:34them how to get very clear on their
23:36intention and watch out. I mean they're
23:38they're women do amazing amazing work.
23:42A couple of times in this conversation
23:45the word practice has come up and you
23:49mentioned earlier on
23:51what we practice we get good at.
23:55So
23:57for many people the first thing they do
23:58in the morning
24:00is
24:02that they practice stress.
24:05They get up whether it's the news or
24:07emails or social media. They in what I
24:11consider to be a very important time of
24:13the day. They allow the environment to
24:15start conditioning
24:17their mind and then that conditions
24:19their body. Certainly that's the way I
24:21see it. And in a view of what we've been
24:24talking about so far, of course, we've
24:25mentioned addictions which are rife
24:28these days.
24:32How important to you is the first part
24:35of the day when someone has woken up? Is
24:38that a critical part of the day where
24:40people have to be very intentional or
24:42can they do some of the work that you
24:43promote later on or do you think first
24:46thing in the morning is a very important
24:48part of the day? Um, I want to be really
24:52careful about this. I think there's two
24:53times the door to the subconscious mind
24:56opens up. When we wake up in the morning
24:59and we go to bed at night and it's
25:00simple brain chemistry and simple
25:02physiology, we have a circadian rhythm.
25:05Soon as there's light, our body has been
25:08pretty much programmed. Yeah. That we
25:10begin to release serotonin, different
25:12chemicals that kind of wake us up. So
25:14our brain waves go from delta to theta
25:17to alpha to beta and you kind of slide
25:20up this way and then you're back to
25:22conscious awareness and local in space
25:23and time. When you go to bed at night,
25:26you go from beta to alpha to theta to
25:29delta and you slide down. Now if you're
25:32stressed,
25:34uh you can't stop thinking. You stay in
25:36beta and you your thinking actually is
25:38arousing the body because you're
25:40thinking about your problems. You can't
25:41slide down, right? So those two points
25:46uh in the day when we wake up in the
25:47morning we go to bed at night um when
25:50we're in an alpha or our analytical
25:52facilities are suppressed. We're in
25:54theta we're in a hypnotic state and the
25:57door between the conscious mind and the
25:58subconscious mind is wide open. What
26:00separates the conscious mind from the
26:02subconscious mind is the analytical
26:04mind. So as you suppress analytical
26:06facilities you can program anybody to do
26:08anything. So then what really happens
26:11for most people before they even reach
26:13for their cell phone and by the way the
26:14statistics are 86% of the people in the
26:18western world first thing first thing
26:21they do is they reach for the cell phone
26:23and they connect to everything that's
26:26known and why is that a problem? Well I
26:30would never tell people how to think but
26:33I would give them information to cause
26:34them to think. So the device is
26:38reminding them of things that are known.
26:42And every person, every object,
26:45everything, every place is mapped
26:46neurologically in our brain because
26:47we've experienced it. And then we have
26:49an emotion associated with our coworker,
26:51with our boss, with our ex, with our
26:53whoever. And so the moment we start
26:56responding,
26:57now we start feeling the same way. So
27:01now the environment
27:03is actually controlling the person's
27:06feelings and thoughts. Yeah. And
27:08anything that controls the way we feel
27:10and the way we think, we're victims to.
27:13So something's programming us to think
27:15and feel a certain way. There's nothing
27:16wrong with that. You can you should
27:18check your text, but and do whatever you
27:20need to do. But the first thing in the
27:22morning, if the door between the
27:23conscious mind, the subconscious mind is
27:24open, why don't we program a new
27:27behavior? Why don't we rehearse a
27:29different way of being with our
27:31children, with our spouse, uh, in our
27:33Zoom meetings, when we're alone, when
27:35we're in traffic? Is there a better way
27:37to evolve our experience? So, if you're
27:39truly in the game of evolution, you're
27:41truly in the game, like one lifetime,
27:43one day. What am I working on today? Can
27:46I respond a different way to this
27:48person? Um, can I think this way instead
27:51of that way? Let me be conscious of my
27:52unconscious thoughts. Let me not be in a
27:55habit. let me stay away from certain
27:57emotions. Let me practice feeling these
27:59emotions and see if I can maintain it.
28:01Now you're in the game. You're out of
28:02the bleachers and you're on the playing
28:04field. So it actually happens even
28:07before the cell phone because what most
28:09people do is they wake up and the first
28:10thing they do is the brain is a record
28:12of the past. They think of their
28:13problems and those problems are just
28:16memories that are etched in the brain
28:17that are connected to certain people and
28:19objects at certain times and places. The
28:21moment they think of their problems,
28:22they're thinking the past. Then when
28:24they think about their problems and they
28:25feel unhappy, now their body's in the
28:26past. And if you believe that your
28:27thoughts have something to do with your
28:29destiny. Yeah. Wow. And then the emotion
28:31that's associated is now the body's in
28:34the past because thoughts are the
28:35language of the brain. Feelings are the
28:36language of the body. And how we think
28:38and how we feel creates our state of
28:39being. Now here's the problem. If you
28:42can't think greater than how you feel
28:46and you believe that your thoughts have
28:48something to do with your destiny and
28:49you understand that feelings and
28:50emotions are record of the past, then
28:53you're thinking in the past and your
28:54life will stay the same. Yeah.
28:58So, I've always been a fan of morning
29:00routines personally. For me, I've I've
29:03discovered when I have some intentional
29:05times for myself in the morning and when
29:07I don't, I'm a different person. I show
29:08up differently. my productivity, the way
29:11I am with my wife or my kids is
29:13completely different. So, I've learned
29:15and I'm now 44 at this age. I know
29:18mornings are very important for me. And
29:21sure, could I do the same thing at
29:23lunchtime or later on? Technically, I
29:26could, but I never find time. Number
29:28one. Number two, I don't think it's as
29:31powerful later because I feel first
29:34thing in the morning, I'm priming myself
29:36to be a certain way for that day. And
29:40actually since our first conversation,
29:42Dr. Joe, I went on your website and I
29:44downloaded uh some of your meditations
29:47and I've been doing one most mornings.
29:51It's a 23 minute meditation and I've got
29:54to say my favorite bit in the meditation
29:57is about 17 or 18 minutes in where you
30:00say something to the effect of and I
30:03don't want to misspeak for your words
30:05but it's something about
30:08now's the time to remind yourself of the
30:11feelings
30:13you don't want to feel. Remind yourself
30:15of how you do want to show up. I I I
30:17love that bit because each time for me
30:19it's like yeah okay I don't want to be
30:21like this today and if and when this
30:24happens
30:26this is how I want to show up. This is
30:28how I want to be. So first of all I want
30:29to say thank you because it's been it's
30:33this idea that you spoke about last time
30:34mental rehearsal. You know we we have no
30:36problem thinking about athletes
30:40rehearsing how they're going to perform.
30:42We have no problem thinking that of
30:43course an actor if they want to play a
30:45part a certain way. They're going to
30:46rehearse. They're going to keep
30:47rehearsing until they're able to do it.
30:49Yet
30:51most of us don't really apply that in
30:52our own life. We don't think, "Yeah, I
30:54need to be rehearsing for the person I
30:57want to be in my own life." Yeah. The
30:59game of life. The game of life. The most
31:01important game. The most important game.
31:02Well, um, 95% of who we are is a set of
31:06memorized behaviors, automatic emotional
31:08responses, unconscious habits, hardwired
31:12attitudes, beliefs, and perceptions that
31:14are running pretty much like a computer
31:16program. They're automatic, right? So,
31:18so, so you can think positively all you
31:21want. You can say, "I'm healthy. I'm
31:22healthy. I'm wealthy. I'm wealthy. I'm
31:24free. I'm free. I'm worthy. I'm worthy."
31:26And your body's saying, "No, you're not.
31:28You're miserable." Right? So, it makes
31:30sense that there's got to be an
31:31unlearning process and we got to stay
31:34conscious, yeah, of our unconscious
31:37thoughts that slip by our awareness
31:38unnoticed. We got to watch how we speak.
31:41We got to observe how we act. We got to
31:44we got to pay attention to the way we're
31:46feeling. And we have to become so
31:47conscious of those unconscious states of
31:50mind and body that we don't go
31:51unconscious in our waking day because
31:53how you think, how you act, and how you
31:55feel is your personality. And your
31:56personality creates your personal
31:58reality. So if you're thinking the same
31:59way, you're acting the same way, and
32:00you're feeling the same way, nothing's
32:02going to change in your life. Right? So
32:04then the unlearning process
32:07is as valuable as the relearning
32:09process. The breaking the habit of the
32:12old self has to happen before you
32:15reinvent a new self. If you enjoyed this
32:17video, I think you are really going to
32:19enjoy my new book, Happy Minds, Happy
32:21Life: The New Science of Mental
32:23Well-being. I've been a practicing
32:25doctor for over 20 years now and I can
32:27tell you there's a very strong link
32:29between happiness and health. Happier
32:32people are healthier and they live
32:34longer. Now, happiness is actually a
32:36trainable skill that all of us can get
32:39better at once we know what to work on.
32:41And that's what my book is about. All
32:43the simple free tools that you can use
32:45in your life to help you feel calmer,
32:48more content, more in control, yes,
32:50happier, but also healthier. You can
32:53order the book right now. All you have
32:55to do is click the link in the
32:56description box below. You got to prune
32:58synaptic connections before you sprout
33:01new connections. You got to unfire and
33:02unwire before you reffire and rewire.
33:04You got to deprogram and then reprogram.
33:07You got how do you unlearn? Cuz I guess
33:09if we think about addiction, for many of
33:12us, this is just living in the past.
33:13We're just repeating behaviors that
33:15we've done in the past that made us
33:17change our state that gave us that
33:19dopamine boost.
33:21I get you can meditate. You can feel
33:24that elevated emotion with a very very
33:26high degree of emotional intensity, but
33:29how do you go about becoming conscious
33:31and unlearning those previous patterns?
33:33It's trial and error. You got to go out,
33:35you got to go out into life and try it
33:37out. Okay, I've changed my internal
33:39state. You could have a great
33:40meditation. You can connect your heart
33:42could open. This happened to me. You
33:43could open your heart. It' be amazing.
33:45You feel like the day is invincible. and
33:47you get up and then the rest of your day
33:49you're unconscious the 15 hours of your
33:52day. So you're going to weigh one hour
33:55of being in a different state of being
33:56against 15 hours of you being unhappy
33:59and rushing and in a program. So then
34:03how many times
34:05do we have to forget until we stop
34:09forgetting and start remembering? That's
34:11called change. How many times do we have
34:13to go unconscious
34:15to the point where we no longer go
34:17unconscious and we stay conscious?
34:19That's the moment of change. Now, if
34:20you're truly out of the bleachers and
34:22you're on the playing field, and this
34:24happens to a lot of people in our work,
34:26they say, you know, I really believe
34:28that this is the truth. I really believe
34:30that you could heal yourself. I really
34:32believe you could change your life. I've
34:33seen the testimonials.
34:35I just never believed that it could
34:37happen to me. Now, this is a big moment.
34:40Now you're really stepping on the
34:42playing field. So a person who starts
34:45doing their work, they're not they're
34:47not interested in healing, the true the
34:49person who's truly interested in this
34:52work. They understand that the only way
34:53they can heal is that they have to
34:56change. They're not saying I'm going to
34:59wait for my wealth or my healing to
35:01happen in order for me to feel grateful
35:04and be joyful in life. They're saying if
35:06I feel grateful, my healing is going to
35:08begin. Right? If I if I'm feel more
35:10whole then there should be some change
35:12in my gene expression. So they've
35:13studied the content, they've studied the
35:15information and now it becomes extremely
35:18practical. So they may have a great
35:20meditation and we've seen this happen to
35:22many people. They sleep better, they
35:25have less pain, they have more energy,
35:27but their blood values never change. Now
35:30they don't say, "Oh, I feel better, but
35:32I'm failing. This doesn't work." They
35:34say, "What is it about me that's
35:36stopping this from completely healing?"
35:39Okay, how am I
35:42in my waking day? The moment you begin
35:44to ask that question, you turn on the
35:46frontal lobe. And the frontal lobe is
35:47the seat of your conscience. Now, the
35:49moment you start looking at at the end
35:51of your day, how did I do? This is such
35:53an important question. How'd I do today?
35:55Did I fall from grace? When did I lose
35:57it? And who did I lose it with? If I had
35:59another opportunity, how would I do it
36:01differently? They'll tell you. I've I've
36:02seen them stand on the stage and tell
36:05their story and say, "I had to start
36:08really watching myself in my life."
36:11Yeah. How I was emotionally responding
36:13to my ex, how I was emotionally
36:15responding to my financial problems. I
36:17had to really really pay attention to
36:19that. And that takes an enormous amount
36:22of energy and an enormous amount of
36:24awareness to stop the program. Right?
36:27So, you forget and you go, "Damn, I went
36:30unconscious there." Now, you didn't
36:31lose, you didn't fail. You just became
36:34conscious. Now, if you keep becoming so
36:36conscious of your unconscious states,
36:38you're you're outside the program.
36:40You're only in the program when you're
36:41unconscious. The moment you're
36:43conscious, you can objectify your
36:45subjective self. So, you can see
36:47yourself through the eyes of someone
36:49else. So, the learning process comes
36:52from the mistake. The brain learns by
36:54mistakes and surprises. I I've made
36:56enough of them in my life. It's just
36:58whether you're going to do it again. you
36:59want to do it again, you're back in the
37:00habit, back in the routine. If you say
37:03this is it, the next time that happens,
37:06I am not going to do that. Not for
37:08anybody else, but because those emotions
37:12actually my response to that person or
37:15that circumstance is actually weakening
37:17the organism. Is that person that
37:19circumstance worth it? So then it's
37:22evolution. It's evolution. The challenge
37:24then has to be met with a greater level
37:27of mind. Now, if you're just doing your
37:29meditation just because you want to
37:31please God or do the right thing or feel
37:33good about yourself, that's going to get
37:35stale after a while because it's just
37:37going to become another routine between
37:39your coffee and your shower and your
37:40emails and your drive to work and people
37:42aren't present, right? So, so the
37:46familiar past conditioning is based on
37:48the past, that thought and the feeling.
37:50But habituation
37:52is the programming of predictable
37:54future. That's the known. So if you
37:56teach a person how to find the present
37:58moment, that's where the unknown exists.
37:59And that takes that takes a lot of
38:01energy and a lot of awareness. And yet
38:03if you practice it, the body literally
38:06will begin to respond to the mind. It's
38:07like training an animal. It finally
38:09relaxes. And when that occurs, your
38:11response to people and circumstances in
38:14your life will be different because you
38:16overcame yourself at the beginning of
38:18the day. So I'm an early morning guy
38:20just like you. I get up really early.
38:22Why? Cuz nobody bothers me. What time?
38:254:30ish somewhere around there. And what
38:28then? What do you do? Um, I get in my
38:30think box. What's a think box? Okay.
38:32What am I doing today? But I'm not going
38:34to sit down and just jump into a
38:35meditation. What thoughts before I go
38:37into this meditation am I going to stay
38:39away from? What circumstances, what
38:41things I can think about later that
38:43aren't that important to me? What
38:44emotions? What memories am I going to
38:46stay away from? If I go there, I know
38:48what that's going to do. Why am I doing
38:49this meditation? What am I going to be
38:51doing? What am I how am I going to do
38:52it? So I just like just like any anybody
38:56who does anything really well, you get
38:57in your think box and you organize what
38:59you're going to do. You doing this in
39:00bed or you having coffee first or I just
39:02get up, move around a little bit, you
39:04know, do a few things, maybe write some
39:05notes down cuz then I can assign meaning
39:07to the act. I can stay conscious when
39:09I'm in it. So you do all this before
39:10your meditation. Okay. Always. But then
39:12when I get in my play box, there's no
39:15thinking. I did all my thinking in my
39:16think box. You did all your thinking in
39:18your think box. Cuz that also when
39:20sometimes we wake up and there's these
39:21kind of thoughts that are just popping
39:23up. Is is you writing down a few things?
39:26Is you processing them a way of sort of
39:28quietening down the noise so you can
39:30drop into meditation? So let's say I
39:32have 10 Zoom meetings in one day. I look
39:34at my calendar and I go, okay, none of
39:37that really I'm going to get to all of
39:38that. This is not my time to think about
39:40the known. I know all this stuff is
39:42going to work out. I know how the Zoom
39:44meetings are going to go. Okay, but let
39:46me just make sure when I'm in these
39:47certain Zoom meetings that I'm leading
39:49with my heart and I'm being the person
39:51that I want to be as an example for my
39:52team. I want to make sure I'm
39:54communicating really clearly. I'll make
39:56time for this that. Okay, I get all that
39:57out of the way. That's all the known
40:00stuff. But when I come to execute now,
40:02what am I going to do to open my heart
40:03today? Like what am I really going to
40:05do? How when I do the breath to bring
40:06energy into my brain, what am I
40:08bringing? Like where am I going to go to
40:10that? What do I want to experience? How
40:12do I do that? Let me just review that.
40:14Okay, then I'm going to open my focus.
40:16I'm going to go deep into nothing. I'm
40:17going to go as far as I can. And then
40:19when I get to that point, then I'm going
40:21to create. And when I create, this is
40:22what I'm going to create. So, I'm not
40:24thinking and when I'm there, what should
40:25I create? I've already got that all
40:26worked out. I'm rehearsing. I'm getting
40:28clear in what I'm going to do. I'm
40:30getting clear on what I'm not going to
40:31do. I'm getting clear on how my last
40:33meditation was and how I want to evolve
40:34my next meditation. So, then when I get
40:36to my play box, I'm not analyzing and
40:39thinking because if I'm analyzing and
40:40thinking, I can't do it, right? So, I
40:42get that worked out. If it takes me half
40:44an hour, I allow for two hours for
40:46myself. If it takes me half an hour to
40:47get very clear and sometimes there's
40:49disturbing things that I have to get
40:50through because there's meetings and
40:52stuff like that and but I just go that
40:55is all always going to work out. This is
40:57you. This is your time. It's it's
40:59interesting Dr. Joe that for many of us
41:02for many people meditation is almost
41:04like your pre-day
41:06ritual, right? So you you meditate to
41:10prime yourself for your day, how you're
41:11going to be. But when you talk about
41:14your morning routine,
41:16you have a premeditation ritual. Yeah.
41:19Which I which I find really really
41:21interesting cuz I I want to get I want
41:22to get into it. I want to like I want to
41:24assign meaning Yeah. to what I'm doing.
41:27When you assign meaning to the act, you
41:28turn on your prefrontal cortex and the
41:30prefrontal cortex says, "Quiet.
41:34everybody that's not involved in this
41:36intention settle down. So the frontal
41:39lobe will actually lower the volumes of
41:41the circus in the brain that that that
41:42are disturbance. So so when you assign
41:45meaning to something you get more value
41:46from it. So I just learned that if I
41:48just get in and just do my meditation
41:50sometimes are wonderful because I've
41:52done it enough times.
41:54But if I just drop in it just it it
41:57doesn't have any meaning. If it doesn't
41:58have any meaning then it just becomes
41:59another routine. You're you're doing
42:01your meditation but you're thinking
42:02about your coffee. you're doing drinking
42:04your coffee, you're already thinking
42:05about your emails. Your the brain's an
42:06anticipation machine and we lose our
42:08free will to that kind of programming.
42:10So, so after I when I get my think box
42:13really clear, it's just like when I used
42:15to golf, I would just kind of look at
42:17where I was going to hit the ball. I was
42:19think about the the club I was going to
42:21use, how I was going to swing, how I was
42:23going to feel. I work it all out in my
42:25think box. When I get my play box, I've
42:28done all my thinking. Now, I'm just
42:29going to execute. Right? So, so we found
42:31that when people do that, we do this in
42:34our weeklong events. I'll always say to
42:36the audience, all right, after we come
42:38back from the break, uh, so turn to
42:41someone now and I want you to have a
42:42conversation about what you love about
42:44yourself. Yeah. That you did really well
42:46in that last meditation. What did you
42:48stick? What what felt right for you?
42:50What did you execute really well? I want
42:53you to articulate that and remind
42:56yourself, reproduce that same level of
42:57mind. install the neurological hardware
43:00by firing and wiring so you can step
43:01into that footprint and do that again in
43:04the next meditation. Then I say to them,
43:06now let's light a match in a dark place.
43:10If you had another opportunity to do
43:12another meditation, what would you
43:14bring? What would you work on improving?
43:16What would you become aware that you
43:18don't want to do that you did in that
43:19last meditation? let's get really clear
43:22about what you're not going to do and if
43:25you had another opportunity what you
43:26would do and somehow that kind of shapes
43:30the brain for the next experience for
43:33them to evolve their experience because
43:35they're in the experience now they're
43:36they're like oh yeah I'm not going down
43:37the I'm not getting off the exit of my
43:40job I'm not getting off the exit of my
43:42ex I'm going to go straight I'm going to
43:44just keep you can make those turns in
43:46the beginning it's normal but you start
43:48making those turns and then all of a
43:49sudden you're realizing I'm not going to
43:50make those turns. And you drive right
43:52past the exit. I drive right past. I'm
43:54too old. I drive right past. I'm too out
43:56of shape. I drive right past my disease
43:59isn't going to go away. Um there's
44:00something wrong with me. You just keep
44:02driving past those and next thing you
44:03know, you run into something big. So,
44:05it's trial and error, you know? I mean,
44:07this is like it's so important for
44:09people to realize if it took them if it
44:11took them two years to of of chronic
44:14stress to develop their health
44:15condition, it's not going to go away
44:17into meditations. You know, when I tell
44:18them, I say, "You're not that good.
44:20You're just not that good." Like, just
44:22get real here. Like, one foot in the
44:24quantum world, one foot in the real
44:26world. This I'm a pragmatist. I don't
44:28want to talk about quantum
44:29superimposition if it has no value in my
44:31life. I want to talk about what it is
44:33that that evolves my experiences. So, if
44:36you're truly in the game of change, then
44:39you would be rehearsing how you were
44:41going to be in the next Zoom meeting if
44:43you were really off in the last one. If
44:45you wouldn't you wouldn't say, "Oh, I'm
44:48this way because of that person or that
44:50circumstance." That's that program of
44:52being a victim, saying that person or
44:53that circumstance is actually
44:54controlling the way I feel and think. My
44:57response to that person is making me
44:59sick. It's actually weakening the
45:01organism. Okay. The next time I have
45:04that opportunity, if I'm truly in the
45:05game of evolution, let's see if I can
45:08stay in my heart and the whole time I'm
45:09not going to react. That would be a
45:10victory for me. That would be a victory.
45:12So then at the end of your day, you go,
45:14I actually kind of love myself. I
45:16actually got my behaviors to match my
45:18intentions. I got my actions equal to my
45:20thoughts. I had a new experience in it.
45:22It actually felt good. Hey, I'm going to
45:23do that again. And you start doing it
45:25with your children. You start doing it
45:27opening the door for the person who's
45:29walking out of the the the office
45:31building. You start letting people go
45:32ahead of you in traffic. You're you're
45:35just cool. You're no longer in that
45:36vigilant state. Now you get enough
45:39people doing that and all of a sudden
45:42you start noticing your wife a little
45:44bit differently or run all of a sudden
45:47starting to smile a little bit more. He
45:48seems way more relaxed and chilled.
45:51People are going to start getting
45:52relaxed and chilled around you because
45:54mirror neurons in the tribe say hey
45:56there's somebody doing something that
45:57I'd like to do. I just need evidence to
45:59be able to do it. And all of a sudden
46:01you start developing a community of
46:03people that start behaving differently.
46:05What's the significance of that? That's
46:06called emergence. An emergent
46:08consciousness is that everybody's
46:10behaving differently and that is what's
46:12going to change the world, you know.
46:14Sorry to interrupt. If you are enjoying
46:16this content, there's loads more just
46:18like it on my channel. So, please do
46:20take a moment to press subscribe, hit
46:22the notification bell, and now back to
46:25the conversation. You know, one of the
46:26core ideas I get from your work is that
46:31we all have a choice. we can choose
46:35and practice the way that we want to
46:37feel so that we actually start feeling
46:39it every day.
46:41You mentioned victim mindset a little
46:42bit already and I want to talk a little
46:44bit about that shortly because I think
46:46many people will say
46:49I am the way I am because of this and we
46:54we'll get to that in just a second
46:55before we move to that for someone who
46:59is watching this or listening and
47:03is intrigued and they go okay I I I
47:07understand I've got a choice I can
47:08practice feeling an elevated emotion
47:11They also hear you saying that this can
47:12take time. If you spent 10 years in
47:14stress, it ain't going to happen
47:15overnight. And sometimes it does though,
47:17but sometimes it can do. How quickly
47:21might someone, if they wake up and they
47:24don't reach for the phone and don't put
47:25the news on, and they decide to engage
47:28in a meditation, maybe with a
47:30premeditation ritual like you do,
47:33how quickly might someone
47:36start to feel a difference? one days,
47:38two days, or is it realistic that within
47:407 days someone's going to start to feel
47:42quite differently? Okay, let's talk
47:44about this because I don't want to
47:46mislead anybody.
47:49Knowledge is the forerunner to
47:51experience. The more people understand
47:54what they're doing and why they're doing
47:57it, the how gets easier. And this is a
47:59time in history where it's not enough to
48:00know. This is a time in history to know
48:02how. the practical application in
48:05understanding that philosophy, that
48:06theory, that intellectual knowledge,
48:08that information
48:10once you start to apply it and
48:11personalize it and demonstrate it, the
48:13more you can understand that why you're
48:15doing and what you're doing it, you get
48:16greater value out of it. So, we have
48:19people that are diagnosed with serious
48:20health conditions, that are nurses, that
48:23are cancer researchers, that are
48:24physicians, that are engineers, or or
48:27just person who just really wants to
48:30understand the content. Now, this is
48:33it's so much easier
48:35to forget this information than to
48:37remember it. It's just I I I always
48:39laugh at myself because I have to go
48:40back and relearn it again. And I think I
48:43know it pretty well and yet I forget. I
48:45don't know why, but it's just the way it
48:46is. So, so when our meditations get
48:48stale, it's cuz we forget what we're
48:50doing, right? So the person who really
48:53really takes the time to study instead
48:55of watching Netflix, instead of
48:57scrolling through Tik Tok, instead of
48:59getting on their phone and doing
49:00mindless texts or whatever, they're only
49:02going to set aside an hour a day and I'm
49:03going to learn this information. When
49:05they sit down to do the work, they're
49:07present. They're they're they understand
49:10if they feel this emotion that they're
49:12going to signal a new gene in a new way.
49:14If they feel the other emotion, they're
49:15going to downregulate that gene and
49:17upregulate the gene for their disease.
49:19Now it's a it's it's an understanding.
49:22Yeah. If I rehearse how I'm going to be
49:24mentally, I'm going to install the
49:26hardware in my brain. If I keep doing
49:27it, it's going to become a software
49:28program. I'm going to start acting that
49:30way. Okay. If I say I can't, it's too
49:32hard. I'm too tired. I don't feel good.
49:34Those are the things that stop me. Okay.
49:36But what if I just start saying anything
49:38is possible. I believe in
49:39synchronicities. What if I with my
49:41intention and attention just really get
49:43clear on that? Would that be the new new
49:45voice in my head? So now the person
49:47who's truly present and not thinking
49:50about their shower or the emails they
49:52have to do or their cell phone or their
49:53text or when they have to take their
49:55kids to ballet or whatever, you're going
49:56to get to all of that. The person who's
49:58truly present, if they follow the
50:00instructions, we've seen them have very
50:03significant changes first in their
50:06subjective experience of themselves
50:09like, "Huh, wow, my back pain isn't
50:12there. That's kind of weird." or god I
50:14slept better last night. These small
50:17indicators
50:20are feedback that tell you that whatever
50:22you're doing inside of you is producing
50:24a result outside of you. Keep that up
50:26over a period of time and you see
50:28instrumental changes taking place in the
50:30person. Now another person who has had a
50:33series of traumas, been uh abused in
50:38some way from from childhood uh is
50:41facing a lot of health conditions, a lot
50:44of emotional and psychological
50:46conditions. We don't want them to heal
50:50in one week. We want them to work on
50:53overcoming those emotional states and
50:55those are the victories. So sitting down
50:57in the meditation and when their body
50:59starts getting agitated or starts
51:02getting anxious instead of quitting and
51:04saying I can't meditate because that
51:06would be the extent of that person just
51:09be curious what's on the other side of
51:11this can I can I lower the volume to
51:13this emotion my body's craving this
51:15emotion let me settle it down into the
51:18present moment that would be a victory
51:20so that person with a lot of trauma
51:23there's a moment in the meditation where
51:25they feel uncomfortable they Easy thing
51:26would be, hey, I'm going to stop. I'm
51:28going to put on Instagram. I'm going to
51:31get a coffee. I'm going to do anything
51:32else to distract me. You're saying
51:35that's the key moment. You want to sit
51:37with that and hopefully break through
51:39that. What I'm saying is there's no such
51:41thing as a bad meditation. There's only
51:44you overcoming you. People think I'm
51:46doing my meditation wrong. No, you're
51:49doing it right. Even if it's difficult,
51:51that is the moment that is going to
51:53define the person. So, so then the
51:55person goes, "Oh, God, I feel really
51:57uncomfortable. I I'm not a good
51:59meditator or something wrong with me.
52:00It's my trauma. It's my past. It's my
52:02parents. It's whatever." The person who
52:03says, "No, no. I'm going to sit in the
52:06presence of this anxiety and I'm going
52:08to keep working with my body and I'm
52:10going to keep lowering the volume to
52:12that emotion." Now, listen, you keep
52:13lowering the volume to the emotion,
52:14you're going to take your attention off
52:16that past problem because you only put
52:18your attention on that past problem
52:19because of the emotion. I'll never tell
52:21anybody to go back and review their
52:22past. I'll say overcome the emotion.
52:24Overcome the emotion. This is a key
52:26point I think which I really want us to
52:27talk to you about today. Dr. Joe,
52:29trauma, right?
52:32There's a lot of awareness growing now
52:34about trauma, the impact of our
52:36childhoods, how we're spoken to, the
52:39beliefs we take on as kids, how that
52:41impacts us as adults. Now, one approach
52:45to deal with trauma is to go there to go
52:51and unpick it and uncover it and see a
52:53therapist and detail what happened, why
52:56it happened, you know, get an
52:58understanding of why you're behaving a
53:00certain way as an adult.
53:03Now, I think for many people, I include
53:06myself in this, that can be incredibly
53:08powerful and incredibly important.
53:11But I also see when I think of your
53:13work,
53:16I wouldn't say it's mutually exclusive
53:19necessarily from the outside at least.
53:22But is there a danger that we can spend
53:25too long in our trauma processing our
53:28trauma trying to think about it? Because
53:31effectively a key message from your work
53:34is
53:36don't get stuck in those emotions of the
53:38past. Don't let your past define you.
53:41Think about that vision of the future.
53:42Start to feel what you want to feel in
53:45the future so you can experience it
53:46right now. But can someone go back,
53:49revisit their trauma, try and process
53:51it? And is that approach consistent with
53:55yours or would you say it's a better
53:58approach or a different approach is to
54:00not spend time there just create the new
54:04reality? Yeah, I think I'm I'm down the
54:08middle on this. Okay. I I I think there
54:10are many modalities that work for
54:12trauma. What I've discovered is that
54:15insight never really changes behavior.
54:18You can see that your father was
54:20overbearing or was an alcoholic or you
54:22could see all these different things,
54:24you know, like you could come up with
54:26the insight all these different things.
54:28The problem that I see with people is
54:30then they tend to excuse their change
54:33by saying, "Oh, I had a rough childhood.
54:35That's why I am the way I am." they are
54:38excusing their pre present position. So
54:42and again trauma is a difficult thing
54:43but for me
54:47the person who's living by the identity
54:51in their life that they were traumatized
54:53as a child or whatever it is or they've
54:55had a trauma in their life. I'm not
54:57saying forget the trauma and create
54:59another emotion. I'm saying that the
55:02person who's willing to go through the
55:06emotion
55:07and keep working on lowering the volume
55:09to it, they the we have had so many
55:12people in this work with brutal pasts,
55:15really really difficult pasts do the
55:18work and finally they reach that point
55:21where they just break free from the
55:23emotion. They look back and I have
55:26interviewed enough of them. It's the
55:29same thing. They look back at their
55:31entire past and they don't want to
55:34change one thing in their past cuz it
55:37brought them to this elegant moment
55:39where they're liberated. They see their
55:41betrayers, they see their abusers, they
55:44have nothing but love for them. Now, the
55:46side effect of that, and many times
55:48they'll say, "It was like my heart blew
55:50wide open." They had to pass through the
55:52valley of the shadow of darkness to get
55:54there. They just thought, "I I don't
55:56know if I can go any further." and they
55:58went one more time
56:00and the body literally was liberated
56:03from the past, right? Because the trauma
56:05is not just in the brain. The trauma is
56:07stored emotionally in the body. So you
56:10want to take the body out of the past,
56:12out of the known. What do you think the
56:15body's going to say if it's been
56:16conditioned to be the mind? The unknown
56:18is a scary place. You step out into the
56:20unknown, you're going to be unprepared
56:22for that trauma. You don't know how it's
56:24going to happen. And so the person keeps
56:26clinging to the known. But when the
56:28person finally overcomes the emotion,
56:30the body literally is freed from the
56:32chains of the past, the side effect of
56:35that is seeing the past from a greater
56:37level of consciousness. Lo and behold,
56:41there goes the suicidal tendencies,
56:44there goes the dysfunction, there goes
56:47the irritable bowel syndrome. That was
56:49because the body was still living in
56:51that past event by living by the same
56:53emotion. So the research on memory is
56:56kind of fascinating and I just I've
56:58studied it enough and and and the the
57:02way we recount the past is not the way
57:05it happened. Even if you absolutely
57:07think you remember it being that way. So
57:09we don't have the same brain as we did
57:11when we were 8 years old or 12 years old
57:13or 20 years old. We have a different
57:15brain. We have completely different
57:16brain. So the fabrication of the story
57:20for many people, they embellish the
57:23story and make it seem even worse than
57:26what it was. But you're really what
57:29you're saying is I changed in those
57:31moments and from a biological
57:33standpoint, I haven't been able to
57:34change since. So let me tell you why
57:36it's been so hard for me to change. And
57:38the story becomes dramatized or
57:40embellished and the person works them
57:43up, fire themselves into this emotional
57:45froth and then fires and wires the same
57:48circuits in the brain and they're
57:50actually reaffirming their limitation.
57:52Now there's nothing wrong with that. I
57:54think just we're just taking too long,
57:56right? So
57:5850% of that story isn't even the truth.
58:01It means in a sense we're reliving a
58:04miserable life that we never even had.
58:07And we don't want but but the but the
58:09the unknown. People would rather cling
58:11to their suffering.
58:13This is not a judgment. We all do this.
58:15We'd rather stay in the known than take
58:18a chance in the unknown because those
58:19emotions of survival are saying what?
58:22Run from the unknown. The unknown is a
58:25scary place. So now the unknown, you got
58:27to come up against that moment where
58:28you're going to actually leave that
58:30behind and step into the unknown. This
58:31is not a intellectual process. This is
58:35this is David and Goliath. There's a
58:37battle going on where the body keeps
58:38wanting to go back to its familiar state
58:41cuz it's subconsciously been conditioned
58:43to be the mind and stay in the known. So
58:45then if the person keeps revisiting the
58:48trauma from the past, I'm not certain
58:52enough that when they revisit the trauma
58:54from the past, unless they learn how to
58:55desensitize their emotional response to
58:58it, that it's going to work for them.
59:00What I learned is that if the person
59:02overcomes the emotion,
59:04the memory without the emotional charge
59:06is called wisdom. And now you no longer
59:08belong to the past. So the body gets
59:11frustrated in the meditation. Instead of
59:14taking your uh blindfolds off or turning
59:16the lights on and say I listening to the
59:18voice, I can't meditate. This is too
59:20much. The sincere person says, what's on
59:22the other side of I can't? What's on the
59:24other side of this emotion? Let me see
59:26if I can settle my body back down out of
59:29that emotion and recondition it to a new
59:31mind. And the act of doing that in the
59:33beginning is very tedious. And all of a
59:36sudden, the person starts getting better
59:38at it. And they're telling their body
59:40it's no longer the mind, that they're
59:41the mind. They're executing a will
59:43that's greater than that program. And
59:45just like training an animal, you stay.
59:49You're not going to die. I'm going to
59:51feed you. You can check your emails. You
59:52can check your text. this is my time
59:55right now. And you keep doing that when
59:56the body keeps settling it down to the
59:58present moment. It acquiesces. It
1:00:00surrenders to a new mind. And when that
1:00:02happens, we've seen this, we've measured
1:00:04it, there's a liberation of energy. We
1:00:05go from particle away. We go from matter
1:00:07to energy. That emotion is liberated
1:00:10from the body. And now now there's
1:00:11energy to heal. There's energy to create
1:00:14a new life. It's it's available energy.
1:00:16It's free energy. So the person goes,
1:00:18"Wow, I I see it from a different level
1:00:22of conscious. I have nothing but love or
1:00:25my goodness, I I'm I'm no longer that
1:00:28person. And and they're now free from
1:00:31the past. Now, the side effect of that
1:00:34is that there's a biological upgrade.
1:00:37There's a neurological upgrade. There's
1:00:39a chemical upgrade. There's a genetic
1:00:42modification that's taking place. Why?
1:00:45You think the same way. You make the
1:00:46same choices. You do the same things.
1:00:48You create the same experiences. You
1:00:50feel the same emotions. your biology
1:00:52will stay the same cuz you're the same.
1:00:54Now the person's thinking differently,
1:00:56they're making different choices.
1:00:57They're doing different things or
1:00:58behaving in different ways. They're
1:01:00having new experiences and they're
1:01:01certainly feeling different emotions.
1:01:03The body reorganizes to a new chemistry
1:01:05and and and they'll tell you, "I'm not
1:01:07that person any longer. I'm literally
1:01:09not that person." And and they're
1:01:11betrayers, even if they're family
1:01:13members, they have forgiveness for them.
1:01:15And what is forgiveness?
1:01:18You take your attention off the emotion.
1:01:20You've overcome the emotion. You don't
1:01:22pay attention to the person or the
1:01:23problem. Now you're free. You free
1:01:25yourself and you free them. And what if
1:01:28someone says to you, "Do look, uh, I I
1:01:30get what you're saying. Uh, but my
1:01:32ex-husband cheated on me, right? They
1:01:35shouldn't have done it. I cannot forgive
1:01:38them for what they did." And the reason
1:01:39I'm asking is because this is exactly
1:01:41what happened with one of my patients.
1:01:43Because this often happens. I talk a lot
1:01:45about forgiveness and a lot of people
1:01:47push back. They go, "Yeah, I want to,
1:01:49but you don't know what happened to me.
1:01:51This was really, really bad. Like, this
1:01:54cannot be forgiven."
1:01:56What would you say to that person? I'd
1:01:58say to them, I want you to think about
1:02:00something in your life that you've done
1:02:03that you would like forgiveness for,
1:02:04that you don't feel good about,
1:02:07and forgive that person in the way that
1:02:09you would want to be forgiven, and you
1:02:12would be forgiven yourself. I mean, we
1:02:13all have done, we've all had
1:02:14indiscretions. Nobody is nobody's
1:02:17nobody's perfect. So So that person that
1:02:21is in that state is still in the
1:02:23emotional state. The problem with that
1:02:25is that no new information can enter the
1:02:28nervous system that is not equal to the
1:02:30emotion the person experiencing because
1:02:32it's not relevant. So the question
1:02:35really is is how long do you want to do
1:02:37that? How long do you want to do that?
1:02:39and and again knowledge and information
1:02:44about what that is doing to that
1:02:46person's health and their biology. If
1:02:50you reason with we've had this happen
1:02:52enough times in our work, that's not an
1:02:54uncommon situation. When the person
1:02:57finally finally takes their attention
1:03:00off that and puts it on something else,
1:03:02they notice that they feel differently.
1:03:04Yeah. if they can. You can't just tell a
1:03:06person to forgive because it's an it's
1:03:09it's kind of an etheical thing. It's a
1:03:11it's a subjective process, right? So, if
1:03:14you're we've seen this, our oxytocin
1:03:16levels in a lot of our participants go
1:03:18up 200 times, right? That's a that's a
1:03:20lot of that's a lot of love. Oxytocin
1:03:23signals nitric oxide. Nitric oxide
1:03:25signals another chemical that literally
1:03:27causes the arteries in your heart and
1:03:29lungs to actually expand. There's more
1:03:31energy. There's more blood going into
1:03:33your heart. Okay. So, when that person
1:03:37takes their attention off their ex,
1:03:39takes their attention off their past and
1:03:41starts looking at themselves, denaturing
1:03:44that identity that's built on the past.
1:03:46See, that person had a reaction to that
1:03:49circumstance. And that reaction produces
1:03:52a refractory period of chemicals and
1:03:54emotions, right? And if you don't know
1:03:56how to control that refractory period
1:03:57and it lasts for hours or days, it's
1:03:59called a mood. You keep that same
1:04:02refractory period going on for weeks or
1:04:04months. Now it's a temperament. One long
1:04:06emotional reaction. You keep that
1:04:08refractory period going on for years on.
1:04:10And that's a personality trait. And most
1:04:12people's personalities are defined by I
1:04:14am this way because my husband cheated
1:04:16on me. What you're really saying is you
1:04:18haven't changed in 10 years. And you're
1:04:21giving your vital life force to that
1:04:25person who is worth 10 years of your
1:04:28life. Yeah. who's worth it. So then the
1:04:32stronger the emotion we feel,
1:04:35the more we pay attention to the cause.
1:04:37Where you place your attention is where
1:04:39you place your energy. That person's
1:04:41giving their vital life force to heal,
1:04:44their life force to change, to that
1:04:46person or that circumstance.
1:04:49Lower the volume to that emotion. Yeah.
1:04:53You'll take your attention off that
1:04:54person or problem. It's not the person
1:04:56or the problem. They're using
1:04:58unconsciously that person or that
1:05:00circumstance to reaffirm their addiction
1:05:02to that emotion. That's why they keep
1:05:04thinking about it. If they weren't
1:05:05addicted to that emotion, they would
1:05:07stop they would stop thinking about it.
1:05:09So then is it the person? No, it's the
1:05:12you're left. We we'll take your
1:05:14ex-husband, put him in a a rocket, in a
1:05:16straight jacket. Let's shoot him to the
1:05:18moon. Now what? Now what? Now what do
1:05:21you do? still have that embossed in your
1:05:23brain and conditioned in your body. At
1:05:25what point? So then the research on
1:05:28oxytocin, you can't you can't you can
1:05:30only talk around this.
1:05:33You you can't say to someone forgive if
1:05:35they still feel the emotion. That's
1:05:37separate from the act of forgiving.
1:05:39Imagine feeling so much love by by no
1:05:44one's doing it to you. It's actually
1:05:47coming from within. But you have that
1:05:49you have that moment that catharsis
1:05:52where you feel that emotion. Oxytocin
1:05:54levels go up just slightly in the
1:05:56research just a little bit more
1:05:58elevated. An elevation in oxytocin
1:06:02makes it impossible to hold a grudge.
1:06:04They've done the the research on the
1:06:05data. You cannot hold a grudge. It's
1:06:08impossible. You just you just go, I like
1:06:11this feeling better than that feeling.
1:06:13And because I like this feeling better
1:06:14than that feeling, you're okay. Forget
1:06:16about it. I'm good. I'm good. That
1:06:17person who falls in love again that
1:06:21whose husband cheated on them who falls
1:06:24in loves again and finds a person who is
1:06:26intelligent and caring and kind and and
1:06:29loving and and provides all of a sudden
1:06:32they can forgive that person like oh my
1:06:34god I got that had to happen because now
1:06:36I have a better person in my life. Well
1:06:38well if you don't let go of that you're
1:06:40never going to have this. In fact, if
1:06:42you bring that into the next
1:06:43relationship, you're not going to have a
1:06:45healthy relationship cuz there's going
1:06:46to be a trust issue on every level. So
1:06:48then you want an equal, write down
1:06:51exactly what you want and become that
1:06:52person and see what and the experiment.
1:06:55See what comes to you. Try it out. Try
1:06:57it out as an experiment. If I for if I
1:06:59really work on my god, this emotion is
1:07:01actually now that I understand the
1:07:03science behind this,
1:07:05this emotion is actually weakening me
1:07:07every day. It's it's it's knocking my
1:07:09brain and body out of homeostasis.
1:07:12Stress is when our brain and body are
1:07:14knocked out of homeostasis and balance.
1:07:16Turning on the stress response just by
1:07:18thought alone. Hormones of stress
1:07:20downregulate genes and create disease.
1:07:22My thoughts are making me sick. Is that
1:07:26person or that circumstance worth it? If
1:07:28my thoughts could make me sick, is it
1:07:31possible that my thoughts can make me
1:07:32well? Well,
1:07:35now you got to come up against the
1:07:36belief. No, I don't really want to
1:07:38believe this. Then that really means
1:07:39that you want to stay in that emotional
1:07:41state. But go to the go see some
1:07:43testimonials of people who who've had
1:07:45that and see their the life that they're
1:07:47living now. They they the the miracles,
1:07:50the synchronicities, the opportunities,
1:07:51the coincidences, the healings.
1:07:54They bless their past. They say, "Ah, my
1:07:56my disease that that condition that was
1:07:59my greatest teacher." Yeah. That was my
1:08:02greatest teacher. And and now the the
1:08:04soul is free. like let's get on in
1:08:06eternity. It's a big place. You're going
1:08:08to hold on to that emotion for how long?
1:08:10You're not doing anything wrong. You're
1:08:13just taking too long. That's all. Yeah.
1:08:16And and it works.
1:08:18It works with anything with any with any
1:08:22some people want wealth. Some bankrupt.
1:08:24Some people their business partner, you
1:08:27know, took the, you know, took all their
1:08:29money. Uh some people it's a
1:08:30relationship. Some people it's trauma
1:08:33from childhood. It's all the same. But
1:08:35what we're looking for is wholeness. So
1:08:37then it's not just the emotion. The
1:08:40emotion is driving a certain behavior.
1:08:43The emer emotion is driving a certain
1:08:45habit of action. The emotion is driving
1:08:48a certain series of thoughts that are
1:08:50associated
1:08:52with that with that person or that
1:08:53circumstance. If you truly believe that
1:08:56you have the power within you to change,
1:08:59the first step would be would be saying,
1:09:02I have to take responsibility for myself
1:09:04right now because I got to start
1:09:06thinking differently. I got to start
1:09:08acting differently. I got to start
1:09:09feeling different. It's going to be
1:09:10hard. Yeah. If it was easy, everybody
1:09:12would be doing this. But how is self-
1:09:15loveve born? I've studied this. When the
1:09:19person sits through the fire
1:09:21and sits through all of that anxiety,
1:09:24all that hatred, all that anger and
1:09:26keeps lowering the volume, sooner or
1:09:28later the body's going to release it.
1:09:30And when they when it's released,
1:09:33forgiveness is the side effect. You take
1:09:35your attention off that person because
1:09:38you no longer have the emotion to keep
1:09:40your attention on. And in fact, you feel
1:09:42so good. This feels better that you
1:09:44naturally forgive. It's not like now
1:09:47you're forgiven. It's not like, "Hey,
1:09:48look at me. I'm forgiving you." It's
1:09:50just kind of like, "Wow, isn't life
1:09:52great. Whoa, you're good. I mean, you're
1:09:55good. I'm getting on with my life right
1:09:57now." Right? So, so emotions keep us
1:09:59stuck in the past. If we tell that story
1:10:01and we reaffirm it, we get in trouble.
1:10:03It's, you know, it subjectively feels
1:10:05better to forgive and practice gratitude
1:10:08and joy.
1:10:10But biochemically, you change as well.
1:10:11This particular patient when she did
1:10:14ultimately learn how to forgive cuz her
1:10:16lifestyle, her diet was fantastic up to
1:10:18that point, but she had chronic high
1:10:20blood pressure. As soon as she started
1:10:22to learn how to forgive, blood pressure
1:10:25starts coming down. And you you know
1:10:27this full well like it's yes
1:10:29subjectively feels great, but it is
1:10:32literally changing your physiology at
1:10:34the same time.
1:10:35Oh, let me just say one thing about
1:10:37that. Cuz you could have the most
1:10:39organic, vegan, gluten-free, ketogenic,
1:10:43triple filtered water, take all your
1:10:45vitamins, take all your nutrients, work
1:10:49out, do Pilates, do yoga, do your
1:10:52breathing, do all of that. Get your body
1:10:55chemically balanced, get your body
1:10:57physically balanced. But if you're not
1:10:59going to get your body emotionally
1:11:01balanced, forget it. Yeah. Because the
1:11:04moment you get emotional, your body
1:11:06literally goes to the past. That's the
1:11:08that's the one that matters the most.
1:11:10And and people once they realize it's
1:11:12the emotion that's signaling the gene.
1:11:15Oh my god, I better start really taking
1:11:16care of my emotional balance as much as
1:11:18I do with my physical exercise and my
1:11:21diet and all that other stuff. Yeah, I
1:11:23completely agree. This is, you know, for
1:11:26many years I was focused on food and
1:11:28movement and sleep and I still am. I am
1:11:31too. Those things are important, but I
1:11:33realize actually if you want to get to
1:11:35the root of the root,
1:11:38it's up here. It's how you think. It's
1:11:40how you deal with conflict. It's how you
1:11:41approach the world. It's it's also Dr.
1:11:44Joe, what you said about awareness. Like
1:11:46the the really powerful idea, one of the
1:11:49many powerful ideas I get from your work
1:11:52is it's about evolution, right? So, if
1:11:54you've never meditated before, sure,
1:11:56start meditating, learn how to meditate,
1:11:58have a great meditation. Great. that
1:12:00that's going to be better than if you
1:12:01weren't doing it. But then learn, oh,
1:12:04you know, I had a great meditation, but
1:12:05I still was judging my coworker. I still
1:12:09reacted to my boss. Okay, cool.
1:12:11Tomorrow, I'm going to see if I can show
1:12:13up and not react in that way. So, it's
1:12:16not, and again, we talking about trauma.
1:12:18You're not saying don't go back and
1:12:20revisit it. You're just saying, hey,
1:12:22maybe don't stay there too long. Maybe
1:12:24if you've been trying to process it for
1:12:2510 years and you're still there, maybe
1:12:28it's time to shift a little bit. Is that
1:12:30fair to say? Yeah. And look, I mean,
1:12:32look, I mean, we're human beings are
1:12:34we're so programmed for survival. And
1:12:37when you're in survival and you're
1:12:38threatened and there's a danger, you
1:12:40prepare for the worst. Yeah. So, the
1:12:41person who's traumatized is actually
1:12:44anticipating the event to happen again.
1:12:47and they're preparing themselves for the
1:12:49worst case scenario because there's
1:12:52better chances of survival if you
1:12:54prepare for the worst. So the brain
1:12:56naturally fabricates an outcome but
1:12:58actually in it actually says well what
1:13:00if this happens and what if that happens
1:13:02and now we're actually this is a really
1:13:05vivid imagination but it's working
1:13:07against us in a lot of ways. So there's
1:13:10nothing wrong with this. I mean we've
1:13:11all done it. you've had a trauma, you've
1:13:13you've had an insult, you've had, you
1:13:14know, a betrayal, you have whatever and
1:13:16then you're you get wise from the
1:13:18experience, but then you're always, if
1:13:20it's really a strong trauma, then you're
1:13:22expecting it to happen again, right? So,
1:13:25the brain is selecting out of the
1:13:26infinite potentials in the quantum
1:13:28field, the worstc case scenario, and
1:13:31then emotionally embracing the outcome
1:13:35before it happens. a thought and a
1:13:37feeling, an image and an emotion, a
1:13:39stimulus and response, and they're
1:13:41conditioning their body into the mind of
1:13:44that emotion. Their past is they're
1:13:47reliving their past in their future
1:13:50every single day in the present moment.
1:13:52And now it becomes a very visceral and
1:13:54subconscious process. So it takes an
1:13:58enormous amount of will, takes an
1:14:01enormous amount of awareness and energy
1:14:04to break that apart. And we have so many
1:14:06brain scans of people that have severe
1:14:08anxiety.
1:14:09And and you cannot be anxious if you're
1:14:13in the present moment. And they just
1:14:15kept catching themselves going to that
1:14:17thought and feeling that feeling and
1:14:19bringing it back and then getting
1:14:21frustrated and going and then all of a
1:14:23sudden they're there again. Well, why
1:14:24are they there? Because they've been
1:14:26practicing that. You you practicing
1:14:29feeling anxious. You get really good at
1:14:31it. You start practicing feeling
1:14:33gratitude. You get really good at that.
1:14:35We're doing a study with children in
1:14:36Australia and I say to them, you
1:14:38practice being angry, you'll get good at
1:14:40being angry. You practice being kind,
1:14:43you get really good at being kind. And
1:14:45it feels better. At its core, it's that
1:14:47simple. It's that simple. It really is.
1:14:49You know, what you practice, you get
1:14:51good at. Exactly.
1:14:53One thing I've heard you say recently
1:14:56which has been really helpful for me is
1:14:59that you don't get up from your
1:15:01meditation
1:15:04until you've overcome that emotion until
1:15:06you've reached that place of calm and
1:15:08gratitude and joy. And if I think back
1:15:10to when I started meditating on and off
1:15:13maybe 10 years ago, you know, some days
1:15:16I'd drop in, it would be great. Other
1:15:17days it would be really hard. I think,
1:15:19oh, not today. So I'd walk out of it,
1:15:20go, "Oh, you know, not today." with a
1:15:22with a complete misunderstanding that oh
1:15:25it always has to be perfect and joyful
1:15:27whereas now I know it's a practice I sit
1:15:30there for the entire time some days it's
1:15:31wonderful other days it's hard and I
1:15:35think that's very powerful what you what
1:15:37you shared how long do you really take
1:15:39for your for two hours the first 20
1:15:43minutes or so to 30 minutes depends on
1:15:45me I'm in my think box and then then the
1:15:47next hour and a half if it takes me an
1:15:50hour rang to get to the present moment.
1:15:53I will not get up for my meditation
1:15:56until I get there. So, I'm just
1:15:57uncompromising to that because I know
1:15:59that if I overcome myself, it's the
1:16:01overcoming process. That's the becoming
1:16:03process. So, if I get if I stretch
1:16:05myself, it doesn't feel good and and I
1:16:08and I break through, then I'm a
1:16:10different person the rest of the day. If
1:16:11I get up and quit, then I'm the same
1:16:13guy. I can't expect anything really
1:16:15magical to happen in my life. So, I'm
1:16:17just willing to just go that distance
1:16:20because because I think that if you get
1:16:23up as the same person that sat down,
1:16:26nothing really happens. Nothing nothing
1:16:28really happens. And and we've talked to
1:16:30so many people that have had so many
1:16:33transcendental profound experiences and
1:16:36they look back at all the meditations
1:16:38that they've done and it's not the good
1:16:41ones they remembered. It's the ones
1:16:44where they sat through the fire and they
1:16:46love themselves for doing it. They love
1:16:48themselves because they sat through it.
1:16:50That's that's really the value uh behind
1:16:54all of this. So for so so for the person
1:16:56who's on the journey like for me I'm
1:16:59just the type of guy that like if I do a
1:17:02meditation and I and I get when I make
1:17:04it through it and it wasn't a pretty
1:17:05meditation I'm that that discomfort
1:17:10bothers me the whole day. It bothers me
1:17:14because I don't want to do that again
1:17:16and I want to make sure that I'm not
1:17:18thinking about the news or I'm not
1:17:19thinking about what people think about
1:17:20me. I'm not thinking about all that any
1:17:21of that stuff. I'm really thinking about
1:17:23what happened there. Joe, like what
1:17:24where where did you go? Like why are you
1:17:27feeling this way? Because I'm disturbed
1:17:29by something because I think I could do
1:17:32better. It's like he's like a martial
1:17:33artist, you know, you're sparring
1:17:34somebody, you get kicked in the face
1:17:35three or four times. Sooner or later,
1:17:37you say, "What am I doing?" Like what?
1:17:39And and and you sit there and you think
1:17:41about it over and over again, over and
1:17:42it bothers you until you figure it out,
1:17:45right? So So and you feel good cuz you
1:17:46overcame it. You're like, "Hey man, I
1:17:48can overcome it." And so then what
1:17:50people say to me, wow, 2 hours in the
1:17:52morning, you know, uh I say, listen,
1:17:54it's really simple. If I can overcome
1:17:56myself at the beginning of the day, the
1:17:58rest of my day, I can overcome anybody.
1:17:59Like I'm just okay with it. When you're
1:18:01okay with yourself, you're okay with
1:18:03anybody. When you're angry with
1:18:04yourself, you're angry with others. If
1:18:06you're unhappy with yourself, you punish
1:18:07other people to feel unhappy because you
1:18:09want them to feel the way you do. It's
1:18:11just the way it is. You're grateful for
1:18:13You get up grateful. Yeah. You get up
1:18:15grateful just for the fact that life is
1:18:17a gift. I'm alive. I got a body. I have
1:18:18a family. I have people that love me. I
1:18:20can eat. I have a home. Uh got to have
1:18:22running water in my shower. I feel
1:18:24pretty good. Yeah, I made a bunch of
1:18:26mistakes, but I'm alive. Hey, a new day,
1:18:29new life. You know, you get up grateful
1:18:31that way and you start seeing these
1:18:33coincidences happening in your life. I
1:18:36guarantee you
1:18:38the meditation will no longer be about a
1:18:40have to. That's what I love about our
1:18:42community. We don't do the work because
1:18:45we have to do the work or to please God
1:18:46or be holy or any of that stuff. People
1:18:49do the work because they don't want the
1:18:50magic to end.
1:18:52The moment you see the coincidence
1:18:54happen in your life, you're going to
1:18:56stop believing that you're the victim of
1:18:58your life and you start believe you
1:18:59start believing you're the creator of
1:19:01your life. And when you do, what do you
1:19:03think that synchronicity creates? You
1:19:04think it creates sadness or pain? The
1:19:06synchronicity wakes you up. You get feel
1:19:08a little energy. You feel a little joy.
1:19:10And that inspires you, like, huh, the
1:19:11experiment's kind of working. Yeah. And
1:19:13I'll show up tomorrow for the experiment
1:19:15again. Hey, that's kind of weird. Hey,
1:19:18I'm going to do it again. Wow. And then
1:19:20you don't want to stop doing it because
1:19:22you start realizing that you actually
1:19:24can produce effects in your life. I
1:19:26don't care what kind of past you've had.
1:19:30I don't care. You can't even tell me
1:19:31you're too sick to do this work. You
1:19:33can't tell me you're too old to do this
1:19:35work. You can't tell me I never
1:19:36meditated before to do this. You can't
1:19:38even tell me that you had a brutal past
1:19:40that you can't do this for. I've seen it
1:19:42happen. All all races, all colors, all
1:19:45sizes, all shapes, all diets, all paths,
1:19:47all social status. Nobody's so special
1:19:50to be excluded from this principle. And
1:19:54so the act of making time, yeah, to be a
1:19:56creator in your a creator in your life,
1:19:59if you make time to be a creator in your
1:20:00life, that means you must believe that
1:20:03you're a creator in your life. If you
1:20:05don't make time or you don't do it, you
1:20:07don't believe that you're the creator in
1:20:09your life. You're believing in your past
1:20:10more than you're believing in your
1:20:12future. You show up to do the work
1:20:14because you want to believe in your
1:20:16future more than you believe in your
1:20:17past. And there's some people that do
1:20:18this work that get up and believe less
1:20:21in their past because they didn't
1:20:23overcome themselves. And then there's
1:20:24people who do it every day and they get
1:20:27up and they believe more in their future
1:20:29every day. And I mean the side effect of
1:20:32that
1:20:33are all these wonderful changes that
1:20:35begin to happen in a person's life and
1:20:37they say what everybody says. I knew it
1:20:40was the truth. I just had to prove it to
1:20:42myself. That's Joe. It's always so
1:20:45inspirational being around you. Just to
1:20:48finish off for that person who's
1:20:51watching now and listening
1:20:54and says, "Hey, hey Doc, I understand
1:20:57what you're saying. I get it.
1:20:59But I don't have time. My life is busy.
1:21:02I don't have time to meditate.
1:21:04What would you say to them? I would say
1:21:07you can learn and change in a state of
1:21:08pain and suffering or you can learn and
1:21:10change in a state of joy and
1:21:11inspiration. I mean uh if you don't have
1:21:14time now, make time when you when you
1:21:16can. But for the most part, I mean, I'm
1:21:18I want to inspire people to not wait for
1:21:21that crisis or that trauma or that
1:21:22disease or that loss to really change.
1:21:25We I want them to be inspired to try it
1:21:27out. It's an experiment. Um, the hardest
1:21:30part about all of this, Rangan, is is
1:21:33actually making the time to do it.
1:21:34That's the hardest part about all of
1:21:35this. When we make time for our precious
1:21:38selves, when we invest in ourselves, we
1:21:42invest in our future. And in order for
1:21:45us to believe in ourselves, we have to
1:21:48believe in possibility. And when we
1:21:50believe in possibility, we believe in
1:21:52ourselves. So, it doesn't even have to
1:21:54be a long amount of time. do a little
1:21:57experiment and say, "I'm not going to
1:21:59think these thoughts. I'll write them
1:22:00down. I'm not going to act this way or
1:22:03speak this way, and I'm not today. I'm
1:22:05going to work on just staying conscious
1:22:07of these feelings." That's all I'm going
1:22:08to do. I'm just going to close my eyes
1:22:09for a few moments and remember that I'm
1:22:12not going to do these things. If that's
1:22:13the start,
1:22:16you just demystified meditation because
1:22:18meditation means to become familiar
1:22:19with, to become familiar with, that
1:22:22symbol is familiarization. to become so
1:22:25familiar with yourself that you can
1:22:28become familiar with a new self and not
1:22:30default back to the old person. We all
1:22:32default. We all react. That's not the
1:22:34question. The question is how long are
1:22:38you going to re how long are you going
1:22:39to do that for? And so we have a choice.
1:22:42Try it out as an experiment. Little
1:22:44time. Just a little time. If you don't
1:22:46have the time and people say, "Well, I
1:22:48don't I don't have the time." You know,
1:22:50and I say, "Well, well, get up earlier."
1:22:52And they say, "Well, I'm tired." And I
1:22:53said, "Well, go to bed earlier." I What
1:22:55am I going to say?
1:22:57What is it? What is it? When is it going
1:22:59to, you know, when do you want to do it?
1:23:00If you don't want to do it and you don't
1:23:02have the time, don't do it. If it
1:23:03inspires you to do it, I want you to do
1:23:05it. Only do it if you're inspired. Don't
1:23:07do it cuz you have to. Do it cuz you
1:23:09want to try the experiment out. Dr. Joe,
1:23:12you're incredible human being. Thanks
1:23:14for coming on the show. I appreciate it.
1:23:15Thank you so much, Runan. If you enjoyed
1:23:17that conversation about the power of our
1:23:19minds, I think you are really going to
1:23:21enjoy this powerful one all about how
1:23:24you can become happier today. If you
1:23:26actually went to the happiness gym
1:23:28several times a week, you will actually
1:23:30have a happier life, right? And the
1:23:32happiness gym is very straightforward.
1:23:33It's a set of skills that you need to
1:23:36practice.

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