how to REINVENT your identity for 2026 (the COMPLETE life audit) — Transcript

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1. 0:01Okay, I'm going to be so serious today.
2. 0:02You already know 2026 needs to be
3. 0:05different, but if you're trying to be a
4. 0:06new version of you while still doing the
5. 0:07same things that created the current
6. 0:09you, then I won't need a crystal ball to
7. 0:11tell me how your next year is going to
8. 0:12go. It's going to be the same. Nothing
9. 0:13changes if nothing changes, so something
10. 0:16needs to change. An identity shift has
11. 0:18to come first before all behaviors can
12. 0:20change, always. So, that's what we're
13. 0:21going to be focusing on today. So, my
14. 0:23name is May, and I've lived through many
15. 0:24versions of myself, so I understand
16. 0:26sometimes this journey can get lonely,
17. 0:28but we're never alone. Everyone that
18. 0:29you're watching this with has the same
19. 0:31mindset. I also made a digital worksheet
20. 0:33just for this video for free, so that
21. 0:34you can put in the work and you can
22. 0:36download that as well from the video
23. 0:37description. 2026 is going to be the
24. 0:39year that everything is going to change
25. 0:40for you. By the way, I just got some
26. 0:42merch samples, and yes, I'm trying to
27. 0:43drop this for Black Friday week. I'm
28. 0:45trying to launch that shop. This is one
29. 0:47of them. I can't show you all of them
30. 0:49because I'm still redesigning
31. 0:50everything, and because I have ADHD
32. 0:52brain, I might just redesign the entire
33. 0:53collection. But, we're going to make it
34. 0:54on time, so keep a look out for that.
35. 0:56Now, if you're willing to do a reality
36. 0:58check and let go of your old self,
37. 0:59design who you want to become and then
38. 1:01give your nervous system a reset, this
39. 1:03is exactly what we're going to be
40. 1:04talking about. Your old identity got you
41. 1:06here today, so honor them, but you don't
42. 1:09have to stay there. You're allowed to
43. 1:11evolve. I always have chapters in my
44. 1:12videos, and by the end of it, you're
45. 1:14going to have a clear framework to audit
46. 1:15your life across eight different areas,
47. 1:17identify what needs to be different, and
48. 1:19rebuild your identity. So, I also got a
49. 1:21new whiteboard just for this video, and
50. 1:23thank you to our sponsor, by the way.
51. 1:24I've been getting really deep on how to
52. 1:25improve on the things that I actually
53. 1:27want to work on. So, I'm a huge fan of
54. 1:29educational platforms, which is why I've
55. 1:31been taking classes on Skillshare.
56. 1:32Skillshare is a learning platform with
57. 1:33classes taught by world-class creatives.
58. 1:36You have everyone from professional
59. 1:38artists, designers, coders, and
60. 1:39successful entrepreneurs. These are all
61. 1:41people who have become very, very good
62. 1:43at their craft. As some of you guys may
63. 1:45know, I started painting again. In order
64. 1:47to learn the technicalities faster, I
65. 1:48just hopped onto Skillshare, and it's
66. 1:50perfect because they have an acrylic
67. 1:51painting class for beginners that's also
68. 1:52a staff pick and is really popular.
69. 1:54Everything from setting up a workspace,
70. 1:56mixing colors, creating dimension and
71. 1:58field of depth. I think this is a really
72. 2:00comprehensive class and I also feel so
73. 2:02much encouragement from pursuing
74. 2:04something that's purely artistic. And
75. 2:06even aside from painting, they have
76. 2:07classes on literally every single topic
77. 2:10you can think of.
78. 2:11>> Also, class materials, projects, and get
79. 2:13feedback from the teachers as well as
80. 2:15community members. And that's what the
81. 2:16classes on Skillshare helps you build,
82. 2:18actual skills, creative habits, mindset
83. 2:21changes. You learn at your own pace
84. 2:22picking from thousands of classes. Most
85. 2:24importantly, you're putting theory into
86. 2:25practice. So, the first 500 people to
87. 2:27use my link in the description will get
88. 2:29a 1-month free trial of Skillshare plus
89. 2:3020% off your first year. If you want to
90. 2:32get serious about your growth, then
91. 2:33naturally this will also help you put
92. 2:35your ideas into practice.
93. 2:36>> Step one is the life audit. So,
94. 2:38self-awareness is always the first step.
95. 2:40You can't reinvent yourself without
96. 2:43knowing who the old you looks like and
97. 2:46also why you became this person in the
98. 2:48first place. People fail because they
99. 2:51try to add new goals to an old identity
100. 2:53without taking the time to understand
101. 2:55the why.
102. 2:56>> Okay, so this is where we're going to
103. 2:57identify where you are currently across
104. 2:59eight different areas. So, I'm going to
105. 3:01go through some ideas and then tell you
106. 3:02what I did. You can use your own journal
107. 3:04for this practice or that digital guide
108. 3:06that I made for you that you can
109. 3:07download. So, for each area, ask
110. 3:09yourself these questions. Where am I at
111. 3:12currently? What's one change that will
112. 3:14make the greatest impact? Guys, my
113. 3:16handwriting is horrendous. And then what
114. 3:18am I avoiding?
115. 3:21So, now let's start with your health and
116. 3:22your energy levels.
117. 3:23>> Are you moving in ways that feel good to
118. 3:25you or ways that feel like punishment?
119. 3:26>> So, there are a few major things to take
120. 3:28note of here. Specifically, what is your
121. 3:30relationship with food? Are you eating
122. 3:32well? Are you moving at all? Are you
123. 3:34having good sleep, drinking a lot of
124. 3:36water? All of these things are going to
125. 3:38affect your energy levels and also
126. 3:39symptoms that you're ignoring or
127. 3:41avoiding, whether it's because you're
128. 3:42too busy to deal with them. All these
129. 3:45little things for me actually add up to
130. 3:46some pretty significant impact on my
131. 3:48body. All of these habits that we're
132. 3:50you're aware of can lead to an energy
133. 3:52crash. For example, reminders to walk
134. 3:54around, stretch, and drink water. Now,
135. 3:56if you're dealing with a more serious
136. 3:57issue, note that down as well. Now, the
137. 4:00next thing is your career
138. 4:03and your relationship with money. Does
139. 4:05your work mean anything to you? Are you
140. 4:08building something of your own on the
141. 4:09side towards something that you care
142. 4:11about, or are you just living paycheck
143. 4:13to paycheck? Are you stagnating? Are you
144. 4:15growing? Do you fear that money is never
145. 4:18enough? Now, this can be me sometimes.
146. 4:20So, my biggest shift was building my own
147. 4:22thing so that I can wake up and get
148. 4:23excited about it. And I will work as
149. 4:25many hours as it takes. Back when I had
150. 4:28my full-time job, I would also have one
151. 4:29to two other things that I did, whether
152. 4:31it was freelance work or something that
153. 4:33I enjoyed doing for fun. And that's
154. 4:34really important as well, to not tie
155. 4:35everything to a money value. As for
156. 4:37money, my personal goal is to get to the
157. 4:39point where I can have enough, where I
158. 4:41am comfortable. Now, let's talk about
159. 4:43your personal development, your mindset.
160. 4:47Are you okay with being wrong sometimes?
161. 4:49Are you willing to learn from your
162. 4:50mistakes? Or do you have a perpetual
163. 4:53victim mindset? Let's address your
164. 4:55mindset and whether you're taking
165. 4:57accountability for your actions. I think
166. 5:00for these two things, a huge tell for
167. 5:02people who are capable of growth comes
168. 5:04from the willingness to own up to things
169. 5:06and take responsibility. I do my best
170. 5:08sometimes, even if it sucks. And I think
171. 5:11it's very important to admit that. And
172. 5:13there's always so much more you can
173. 5:15learn. You have to find your own purpose
174. 5:17to all of these improvement and why
175. 5:18you're even doing this. For me, it's to
176. 5:20realize my because I know that I'm
177. 5:22capable of helping a lot of people. Now,
178. 5:23let's talk about relationships.
179. 5:26What are you like with other people?
180. 5:28Specifically, I want you to think about
181. 5:30quality. Do you have people in your life
182. 5:32who you can be completely real with? Are
183. 5:34your relationships mutual or one-sided?
184. 5:36Do you feel supported? Or are the people
185. 5:38around you just exhausting? What do your
186. 5:41social interactions look like? If
187. 5:43they're all like, "Hey, how's it going?"
188. 5:45type friends, or friends that you only
189. 5:46see on specific occasions like brunch or
190. 5:48the club, then you're probably not very
191. 5:50close. So, evaluate your bandwidth. Not
192. 5:53all of us have to be social all the
193. 5:54time. For me, I had to focus on
194. 5:56low-maintenance relationships. I don't
195. 5:57have any energy for anything else. For
196. 5:59me, that's really what I had to focus
197. 6:00on. My people are the people who can
198. 6:02take care of themselves, but also
199. 6:03appreciate when you're around. So, for
200. 6:05example, if someone is draining you like
201. 6:06a significant other, then perhaps
202. 6:08consider how you can shift your focus
203. 6:10back to yourself, which is actually what
204. 6:11you're doing right now. And then with
205. 6:12real friends, if they get it, they get
206. 6:15it. If they don't, then they don't. You
207. 6:16only have so much time in a day, and if
208. 6:18you don't have friends, you know, a lot
209. 6:19of smart people don't. And that is
210. 6:20totally fine. It's something that can be
211. 6:22nurtured if it's what you want to
212. 6:23change, right? Now, I'm going to wipe
213. 6:25this again, and don't worry, I'm going
214. 6:27to write everything out. Okay, now let's
215. 6:29look at yourself care.
216. 6:31And I'm not talking about face masks or
217. 6:34bubble baths, which is nice, but not
218. 6:36necessary. Like for example, how do you
219. 6:38actually treat yourself when nobody's
220. 6:41watching? What is your self-talk like?
221. 6:44Is your self-talk kind? Is there some
222. 6:45kind of constant stream of never being
223. 6:47good enough? Are you constantly judging
224. 6:49yourself? Do you honor your own needs,
225. 6:52or do you just ignore it until something
226. 6:54happens? So, actually know this, when I
227. 6:55was being very mean to myself in my
228. 6:57internal dialogue, and I started to
229. 6:58apologize whenever I did that, and I
230. 7:00reframed it in my head because words are
231. 7:02spells that can change you. And people
232. 7:04who are kind to themselves, they are
233. 7:05generally happier, they treat people
234. 7:07better, and they do a better job because
235. 7:08they're not getting in their own way.
236. 7:10Let me erase all of this, okay? Cuz I
237. 7:12want to make a big emphasis on this
238. 7:16word. Your thoughts can create an entire
239. 7:19universe. And appreciation leads to even
240. 7:22more abundance. That's what gratitude
241. 7:24looks like. Sometimes we forget to be
242. 7:26grateful when we're eating, we're
243. 7:28breathing, we have a roof over our head,
244. 7:30and so on. Even just saying thank you to
245. 7:32yourself is enough. Okay, now let's look
246. 7:34at your home and your environment. Your
247. 7:36space either supports who you're
248. 7:38becoming, or it keeps you stuck. Is your
249. 7:40room clean? Is your house clean? Does it
250. 7:44feel peaceful when you walk in or is it
251. 7:46chaotic? Pay attention to the general
252. 7:48vibe of your environment. Does your
253. 7:50space reflect who you want to be or the
254. 7:52result of who you've been? Every few
255. 7:54months or so, I actually grab a giant
256. 7:56garbage bag and clear everything out.
257. 7:58Garbage clothes I never reach for, boxes
258. 8:00that I don't use, expired products. We
259. 8:02were talking about the scarcity mindset
260. 8:04earlier, so I would feel compelled to
261. 8:05hold on to things. So, everything that I
262. 8:07started to hoard eventually creates this
263. 8:08low-grade stress in my nervous system.
264. 8:10So, I decided I have to get rid of
265. 8:12visual clutter. Sometimes things can
266. 8:14build up, which is fine, but I try to
267. 8:16organize my house every now and then by
268. 8:17putting everything back to where it
269. 8:19belongs. I will mop and sweep and wipe
270. 8:20down surfaces every few days as well,
271. 8:22because you want to make room for new
272. 8:24energies. Dirtiness will really keep you
273. 8:27down. It will make you stressed. It will
274. 8:29make you sick. An environment that you
275. 8:31can relax in is extremely important. By
276. 8:33the way, guys, these markers are not
277. 8:35very good. If you have any feedback for
278. 8:36me, recommendations on better brands,
279. 8:38please let me know. And then lastly, we
280. 8:40have free time. What are you doing when
281. 8:43you're not working, when you're not
282. 8:45sleeping or eating? How you spend your
283. 8:47free time really tells me where your
284. 8:50values are versus what you say you
285. 8:52value. Are you resting or are you just
286. 8:54numbing yourself? Are you creating
287. 8:55things? Are you consuming? Or are you
288. 8:56just passing the time until the next
289. 8:58thing that you have to do? Are you being
290. 9:00present with yourself? Presence is
291. 9:02everything. Even just clearing out your
292. 9:04head for a few minutes, that can allow
293. 9:07new thoughts to flow in. It's like
294. 9:09cleaning your house but mentally. So, I
295. 9:10have one morning a week where I don't
296. 9:11jump into anything work-related
297. 9:13immediately. I just do whatever that
298. 9:14isn't contributing to productivity.
299. 9:16Whether it's just sitting around, I go
300. 9:17for a short walk, or I write in my
301. 9:19journal. We can burn out eventually from
302. 9:21feeling like we constantly have to stay
303. 9:22busy and upgrading all the time, which
304. 9:24is also very unproductive because that
305. 9:26won't last forever. So, now that we've
306. 9:28identified all of these eight areas,
307. 9:30we're going to be working on step two,
308. 9:33the autopsy. We're identifying all the
309. 9:36patterns that you've been doing in these
310. 9:38eight areas and everything that came
311. 9:40about as a result of that that became
312. 9:42your identity. So, what do you identify
313. 9:45with? Are you an overachiever? Are you a
314. 9:47people-pleaser? Are you selfless? Are
315. 9:49you a victim? Are you chaotic? Maybe
316. 9:51you're brave and resilient because you
317. 9:52have to be your survivor. These are all
318. 9:54examples, right? So, for each of them
319. 9:56ask, "What did this protect me from? Why
320. 9:59did I have to step into this identity in
321. 10:02the first place? What did it help me
322. 10:05survive? Am I resisting doing the things
323. 10:07I actually enjoy?" These questions can
324. 10:09help you identify the program that's
325. 10:11running in your head. What are the
326. 10:12patterns like? Where are you thriving?
327. 10:13What needs more work? How can you bridge
328. 10:15the gap? So, the up-top thing is just
329. 10:17you identifying the patterns that keep
330. 10:20happening. For example, my achiever
331. 10:22identity protected me from feeling
332. 10:24worthless and unproductive. Constant
333. 10:26producing gave me evidence that I was
334. 10:27important. Can I be important without
335. 10:30doing anything? What am I resisting? And
336. 10:32then my selfless helper identity
337. 10:34protected me from abandonment issues. I
338. 10:36like to feel needed by people. My
339. 10:37resilience protected me from bad
340. 10:39situations because I became good at
341. 10:41handling difficulty and never giving up.
342. 10:43And in a way that saved me, but can I
343. 10:45allow myself to be soft? So, all these
344. 10:47identities make sense when we built
345. 10:48them. They served their purpose for a
346. 10:50given situation, but we don't need them
347. 10:52anymore. Then maybe these identities are
348. 10:54not holding us back. And then step
349. 10:56three, we can talk about the grief
350. 10:59stage.
351. 11:00This is where you grieve the old you and
352. 11:03it is mandatory. Most people will fail
353. 11:05at this point for this reason. When
354. 11:06you're releasing an old identity that
355. 11:08you were holding onto, you have to
356. 11:10grieve. Whatever comes out transformed
357. 11:11is a new version. It's a survivor of the
358. 11:13old version. So, you actually have to
359. 11:15pat yourself on the back and give
360. 11:16yourself grace and say, "Thank you to
361. 11:17them." because that old you went through
362. 11:19a lot of things and they helped you
363. 11:20survive. You can write farewell letters,
364. 11:23for example, to these identities that
365. 11:25you release and be grateful and tell
366. 11:26them that you're ready to move on.
367. 11:28Symbolically closing these chapters will
368. 11:30help you get some closure. Like did you
369. 11:34know that your nervous system doesn't
370. 11:35know the difference between losing a
371. 11:36person and losing an identity? Both of
372. 11:39these things do create grief and it's
373. 11:41very important for you to honor that
374. 11:42because if you don't, then in a strange
375. 11:44way you're not going to have peace and
376. 11:46you might unconsciously also recreate
377. 11:48the old identity and bring them back
378. 11:50because the unprocessed emotion will
379. 11:52pull you right back to the past. And
380. 11:54this is why people fail. So, I'm going
381. 11:56to be drawing an alarm bell here. This
382. 11:58is very important. Hopefully that looks
383. 12:00like an alarm bell. So, allow yourself
384. 12:03grace
385. 12:04and sometimes grieve and think about
386. 12:06what you don't want to become, right?
387. 12:07You're putting parts of the old self to
388. 12:08rest. The time has come, it's served its
389. 12:10purpose and you want to celebrate that.
390. 12:12Number four, the identity design. If you
391. 12:15want to be a new rooms, you have to hold
392. 12:18the correct key to unlock the door to
393. 12:20those rooms. So, this is where you
394. 12:21become the person you want to be because
395. 12:23we see everything through our own
396. 12:24perspective, right? So, you can never be
397. 12:26other people, but you can feel inspired
398. 12:29and see for yourself that's where you
399. 12:31can go. That is a possibility and become
400. 12:34that specific version of you that you
401. 12:36admire that's still you. So, look at
402. 12:37these eight areas, go back to this and
403. 12:39ask yourself who is the version of me
404. 12:41that looks like a level up of this. For
405. 12:44example, I want to be healthy, I want to
406. 12:46be fit, I want my body to be tough
407. 12:48enough to go scuba diving because that's
408. 12:50something I want to do. And I want to be
409. 12:51better at taking breaks. So, a person
410. 12:52who honors their body will know that
411. 12:54rest is very important, kindness to
412. 12:56yourself, respect for the environment
413. 12:57that you live in, you eating nutritious
414. 12:59food. And then another person with
415. 13:01financial peace does not have a scarcity
416. 13:03mindset. They trust that things will
417. 13:05flow, there's plans laid out for
418. 13:07emergencies. Currency is called currency
419. 13:09because it's an energy that comes and
420. 13:11goes.
421. 13:12And then the person who values deep
422. 13:14relationships, right? It's okay feeling
423. 13:15vulnerable when they connect with people
424. 13:17because they can trust that they can
425. 13:19keep themselves safe enough to feel safe
426. 13:21with other people. So, write everything
427. 13:23that you want down and ask, what does
428. 13:25someone like this naturally do because
429. 13:27it's a part of who they are. Free time,
430. 13:30your hobbies, your interests, your
431. 13:31passions. This is all your identity
432. 13:33blueprints, not your goals, not who you
433. 13:35want to become by the end of next year.
434. 13:37This is a description of your new
435. 13:39natural reality. This happens right now.
436. 13:42You get to decide this now. Even if
437. 13:44you're not there yet, you're on your
438. 13:46way. Simplicity is very important and
439. 13:48overrated because I see people who make
440. 13:49things very difficult and overly complex
441. 13:52because they're overcompensating for
442. 13:54something else. The truth is going to be
443. 13:56simple, okay? Become the person who
444. 13:57naturally does the things. Don't force
445. 14:00yourself to do something while you're
446. 14:01still the person who doesn't want to
447. 14:03because then you have to go back to the
448. 14:05previous step. Once you can let go, then
449. 14:06you can be like, "Okay, we're doing this
450. 14:08right now." And remind yourself as much
451. 14:09as possible. Say goodbye to that old
452. 14:11identity, grieve, and then write down
453. 14:14your reminders, put it on your fridge,
454. 14:15put it on your mirror, your phone
455. 14:16wallpaper, a whiteboard. You're not
456. 14:18going to be achieving anything
457. 14:19immediately, but you're going to believe
458. 14:21that you are the person who is capable
459. 14:23of achieving it. You're simply just
460. 14:25going to do it and decide and you're
461. 14:26going to show up. So, number five is
462. 14:28going to be micro identity practice. But
463. 14:31what I mean by this is this is your
464. 14:34nervous system reset. Because it has
465. 14:37been trained to remember your old self
466. 14:39and it knows the old you very well. The
467. 14:41new you looks unfamiliar. So, when you
468. 14:43try to act differently, it feels
469. 14:44dangerous and it pulls you right back to
470. 14:46the old you, which is in your comfort
471. 14:47zone. This is also where people fail,
472. 14:49right? Because it gets hard and they
473. 14:50give up. You have to push through in
474. 14:52order to rewire that mindset capable of
475. 14:55overcoming it and eventually you will
476. 14:57one day at a time. A good way to teach
477. 14:58your nervous system that it's safe is to
478. 15:00practice these micro identity shifts.
479. 15:02Small movements, practicing the new
480. 15:04version until your body learns that this
481. 15:06doesn't actually harm you. The tiniest
482. 15:08things that sound so simple, like
483. 15:10switching coffee with tea, stretch
484. 15:11breaks, positive self-talk, a new
485. 15:13productivity system. Like for example,
486. 15:15you might want to get a new notebook or
487. 15:16something. That's another thing I'm
488. 15:17selling at my merch store, by the way.
489. 15:18And so, maybe some of the things that
490. 15:20you're working on deserve that dedicated
491. 15:21attention and not when you're feeling
492. 15:23overwhelmed. You can say yes to yourself
493. 15:25more and then say no to the things that
494. 15:27you don't have the energy for, and it's
495. 15:29fine. You can breathe through that. Just
496. 15:31say no if you don't want to do it. You
497. 15:32have to teach that nervous system that
498. 15:34it's safe to step into this new
499. 15:36identity. Keep telling yourself you're
500. 15:37going to be fine no matter what. This is
501. 15:39going to help you in the long run, and
502. 15:40just keep repeating it. Repetitiveness
503. 15:42is the key. Gradually, your nervous
504. 15:44system will stop fighting and start
505. 15:46supporting the new you. So, just
506. 15:48identify three new tiny habits that you
507. 15:50want to work on this month, and just do
508. 15:52it repeatedly. Feel that discomfort, and
509. 15:53just breathe through it. You're going to
510. 15:55notice that nothing bad happens to you,
511. 15:57and then eventually your nervous system
512. 15:59will integrate the new you into your
513. 16:00life, and that's when it becomes
514. 16:01automatic. So, the first area that you
515. 16:03want to work on is usually the one that
516. 16:04affects everything else, right? For
517. 16:06example, health is a big one. Everything
518. 16:08runs through your body. Well, even
519. 16:10self-care, because how you treat
520. 16:11yourself determines everything else. So,
521. 16:13if you want, you can repeat after me in
522. 16:14the comments. I am proud of myself for
523. 16:16putting in the work, and let me know
524. 16:18which of these eight areas be avoiding,
525. 16:20or you notice that you have to work on.
526. 16:21So, when we can name what we avoid, it
527. 16:24actually loses its power. Self-awareness
528. 16:27is the key, and we're not alone, either.
529. 16:29We're all in this together. So, I make
530. 16:30videos like these every week, and now I
531. 16:32have a whiteboard. So, if you want
532. 16:34complete transformation that integrates
533. 16:35your mind, body, spirit, and you want to
534. 16:37do the work, subscribe if you haven't
535. 16:39already. Don't forget to download that
536. 16:40guided worksheet PDF that I made for
537. 16:42you. It's so robust, I think, and I will
538. 16:45see you in the next video. Bye for now.