How to Quit Porn — Transcript

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1. 0:00Why does spirituality matter? Or how can
2. 0:03it actually change your life in very
3. 0:04practical ways? Well, here you are.
4. 0:08Perceive yourself as this body at the
5. 0:10front of the screen, separate from the
6. 0:13world.
7. 0:14However, in order to say that you're
8. 0:16this body separate from this world, you
9. 0:19first have to be.
10. 0:21You have to exist. When you look at what
11. 0:23existence is, you can't find anything
12. 0:27separate from existence. Existence is
13. 0:29inclusive of everything you see,
14. 0:33including this body at the front of it.
15. 0:35So, you take existence,
16. 0:38you can't say this house is separate
17. 0:39from existence, this
18. 0:41deck, this plants, barbecue, whatever.
19. 0:45It's all included in existence.
20. 0:49So, existence is both everything and yet
21. 0:51nothing in particular that you see.
22. 0:53So, we take all of existence, the simple
23. 0:56fact of just being, we boil it all down
24. 0:58to
25. 0:59I'm just this part of it. I'm just this
26. 1:01body, and I'm separate from the rest of
27. 1:03existence.
28. 1:05Now, this is probably not something you
29. 1:06think about, but it is something you
30. 1:08will inevitably experience as a result.
31. 1:11Cuz if you actually are the totality of
32. 1:14everything,
33. 1:15reducing yourself to just a single body,
34. 1:18and separating it falsely from the rest
35. 1:20of experiencing,
36. 1:22then you're playing
37. 1:24a very limited role of just being one
38. 1:27body. As a result, you're going to be
39. 1:30seeking the rest of you in people,
40. 1:32places, activities, things. Because if
41. 1:35you're actually that fulfillment, that
42. 1:38wholeness, and always have been, then
43. 1:40you never forget it. You just create
44. 1:43this false perception of separation. And
45. 1:46the only way you could know that feeling
46. 1:48of being separate is if simultaneously
47. 1:50you're whole.
48. 1:51But notice that feeling of wholeness
49. 1:54does not require the feeling of
50. 1:56separation. So, if you can experience
51. 1:58one thing with the absence of the other,
52. 2:00you must be that thing. Separation
53. 2:03requires wholeness in order for it to
54. 2:06be, but wholeness does not require
55. 2:08separation. Therefore, you must be that
56. 2:11transcendent existence, wholeness
57. 2:14itself.
58. 2:16So, this is a long-winded way of
59. 2:18talking about very specific problems.
60. 2:21So, let's say you have a gooning
61. 2:22problem. You as this body
62. 2:26are looking at this screen with these
63. 2:28images
64. 2:30and seeking fulfillment from the
65. 2:32experience. Now, what's happening in
66. 2:33that experience? You're going, I am this
67. 2:35body separate from this thing I want.
68. 2:38And when I get this thing I want through
69. 2:40this behavior, I experience this great
70. 2:42release, this great relief. Let's look
71. 2:45at what happens in those three or so
72. 2:47seconds of that moment of orgasm. You're
73. 2:50perceiving yourself as separate. You're
74. 2:52seeking yourself in this behavior, in
75. 2:55this activity. In that moment of
76. 2:57actually getting what you want, which is
77. 2:59that moment of the orgasm, you let go of
78. 3:01your desire for it. You let go of all
79. 3:04sense of being separate from what you
80. 3:06want. And for those 3 seconds, you go
81. 3:09from being just this to
82. 3:12and everything.
83. 3:13And you experience that oh god moment of
84. 3:16just being your beingness, just being
85. 3:19existence itself without anything
86. 3:22covering it.
87. 3:26But because you have this habituated
88. 3:28momentum of believing you're just this
89. 3:30body, believing you're just this
90. 3:31separate thing,
91. 3:33you have this 3-second moment of
92. 3:35releasing everything and just being the
93. 3:37divinity that you are.
94. 3:39And then because you believe in
95. 3:41separation, the habituated momentum of
96. 3:44it comes back. And you go, oh, what
97. 3:47happened? I'm back to being this body.
98. 3:49All the joy was in that behavior. It was
99. 3:52in the gooning. It was in the images on
100. 3:54the screen. It was not in what I am
101. 3:55fundamentally.
102. 3:58Because you're confused, you think it's
103. 4:01in that activity. And so, you want more
104. 4:03of it. And you also want to keep it away
105. 4:05from you because afterwards you feel,
106. 4:08"Oh, I shouldn't have done that or
107. 4:09something wrong or I'm I'm You feel
108. 4:10those feelings of confusion." Which is
109. 4:12just the programs of separation coming
110. 4:15back.
111. 4:17Those reloading.
112. 4:19Covering over that peace and divinity
113. 4:21that you always are.
114. 4:23And then you temporarily play the game
115. 4:25of hide and seek again. So, no wonder
116. 4:29you're struggling with this. Because
117. 4:31really it's a game of temporarily
118. 4:32experiencing what you actually are, just
119. 4:35existence itself, without any thinking
120. 4:37covering it, without any ideas of what
121. 4:39you are, without any ideas of separation
122. 4:42covering it.
123. 4:44>> [snorts]
124. 4:44>> Just experiencing that for a few seconds
125. 4:47and go, "Oh, this is the greatest thing
126. 4:48in the world." And you're right.
127. 4:50Of course you would want that
128. 4:51experience. Absolutely.
129. 4:54And then if it went away and you went
130. 4:56back to just being this, you go, "What
131. 4:58happened? I don't want to experience
132. 4:59that again."
133. 5:01Of course you'd want to experience it
134. 5:03again.
135. 5:05Where you get tripped up is you don't
136. 5:07understand that you're the one falsely
137. 5:09separating yourself from that experience
138. 5:12of peace, divinity, the absence of
139. 5:15problems, the absence of emotion.
140. 5:18So, congratulate yourself on going,
141. 5:20"Yeah, there's this
142. 5:21sort of problematic behavior here or
143. 5:23there's this confusion with this
144. 5:24behavior."
145. 5:26And it makes sense that there would be
146. 5:28cuz you're temporarily experiencing pure
147. 5:30unconditional love and then
148. 5:32re-experiencing you covering that over
149. 5:35with all your thoughts and beliefs of
150. 5:36what you actually are. So, your
151. 5:38recognition of this problem is actually
152. 5:40the recognition of, "Well, there's
153. 5:41something fundamentally wrong with how
154. 5:43I'm perceiving things because I want to
155. 5:46feel good. However, I don't want to
156. 5:48suffer as well."
157. 5:51So, there's this feeling good feeling
158. 5:52and then there's this suffering
159. 5:53associated with Which one is true?
160. 5:57And luckily, it's that feeling good
161. 5:59state which is true. Now, can we show
162. 6:01ourselves other times in life when we
163. 6:03experienced that
164. 6:04sense of wholeness, love, divinity,
165. 6:07absence of problems. Sure.
166. 6:10Dreamless sleep.
167. 6:13There's no problems. There's nothing
168. 6:14going wrong. There's just
169. 6:17relief. Isness.
170. 6:20Flow state during activity.
171. 6:23You're not thinking about all your
172. 6:24problems. You're moving your body.
173. 6:26Enter that state of time slowing down or
174. 6:29time vanishing and just feel that
175. 6:31oneness.
176. 6:32Dancing. Laughter. Hanging out with
177. 6:35friends.
178. 6:36Being with loved ones.
179. 6:38All these different states you can see,
180. 6:40oh, when I stop thinking about my
181. 6:41problems.
182. 6:43I just
183. 6:44experience the simple fact baseline of
184. 6:49existence itself.
185. 6:52When the behavior ceases,
186. 6:55the mind activity comes back, it covers
187. 6:57over that state, and you go looking for
188. 6:59it. And you go, "Oh god, where is it?"
189. 7:00And then
190. 7:03So, there's nothing wrong with this
191. 7:05behavior. It's just a confusion of
192. 7:07levels. You are existence itself
193. 7:10pretending to be one separate body,
194. 7:12separating yourself from the rest of
195. 7:13yourself, and then temporarily
196. 7:16experiencing that state of wholeness
197. 7:18when you let go of the sense of
198. 7:20separation.
199. 7:22Forgetting that state, re-identifying
200. 7:24with the body, all the separation comes
201. 7:26back.
202. 7:28And it creates this game of attachment.
203. 7:30I want the thing, and then aversion. Oh,
204. 7:33I want to get away from the thing.
205. 7:35The traditional approach to quitting
206. 7:37things is pure willpower. They go, "Oh,
207. 7:40you got to use,
208. 7:41you know, all your conscious thought to
209. 7:44push that thing away cuz it's that
210. 7:45thing's fault over there."
211. 7:48And even if you're successful doing
212. 7:49that, you still have all this aversion.
213. 7:52You're still a slave to it cuz you're
214. 7:53saying,
215. 7:55"That has to stay over there." And so,
216. 7:56there's this necessary unconscious
217. 7:58element towards you where you think
218. 8:00parts of you are bad, parts of you are
219. 8:03shameful, parts of you need to be pushed
220. 8:05away.
221. 8:06Really, to be free of something, you
222. 8:08want no relationship to it. Think about
223. 8:11how you feel about I don't leaves on the
224. 8:13ground, for example.
225. 8:15You don't have any strong feelings
226. 8:17towards them being there or not being
227. 8:19there, most likely. If you do for
228. 8:21leaves, think of something you don't.
229. 8:23That's the state you want to get to with
230. 8:25something
231. 8:26where you don't have any need for it or
232. 8:28any need to push it away.
233. 8:30If you just go, "I'm releasing my need
234. 8:32for something, but I still need to push
235. 8:34it away." you're still a slave to it. It
236. 8:36still has power over you. So, you want
237. 8:38to get to a place where
238. 8:41it doesn't matter if you do this
239. 8:42activity, it doesn't matter if you
240. 8:44don't.
241. 8:45As you begin to let go of these
242. 8:47cravings,
243. 8:49these attachments and aversions, you
244. 8:50begin to experience that state you're
245. 8:52seeking as being already what you are.
246. 8:54It's so paradoxical, you don't need that
247. 8:56behavior anymore because you're already
248. 8:58giving yourself that fulfillment.
249. 9:01And the times where you feel like you
250. 9:03may need to go chase that thing
251. 9:05is when you are very stressed out, when
252. 9:07you are very heavily identifying with
253. 9:09this, and you can use those as
254. 9:10opportunities to release,
255. 9:13to release this separating state, to go
256. 9:15back to the wholeness.
257. 9:18As this process continues,
258. 9:20you release more and more and more of
259. 9:22all these unconscious attitudes of
260. 9:24attachments and aversions, and you're
261. 9:25naturally just feeling good, feeling
262. 9:28whole more and more, so you don't need
263. 9:31external things.
264. 9:33And that's the state you're going for.
265. 9:36You're not going for a state of I pushed
266. 9:38this activity away, but I'm still
267. 9:40heavily aversive to it and thus have all
268. 9:43these attitudes about it that are
269. 9:44unexamined.
270. 9:47And there's another state where people
271. 9:49want to use
272. 9:51quitting gooning,
273. 9:53quitting masturbation as a way to get
274. 9:55things in the world. They go, "Okay, I
275. 9:58can leverage this behavior to improve my
276. 10:01life so I can get more
277. 10:03more stuff out there." And that too is a
278. 10:05trap because then you're just shifting
279. 10:07the focus from images on a digital
280. 10:09screen
281. 10:10to
282. 10:12people in the world that you can then
283. 10:15want really, really strongly
284. 10:18or want to push away really, really
285. 10:20strongly. But, that would be the topic
286. 10:21for another video.
287. 10:23The first topic is seeing
288. 10:25Of course, this is natural to you to be
289. 10:27curious about this behavior that brings
290. 10:29you such highs and such lows.
291. 10:32Number two, you are already the answer.
292. 10:35You temporarily experience it in the
293. 10:37activity and you are also the problem.
294. 10:41Meaning, the problem's not external to
295. 10:43you, it's something going on internally
296. 10:46that you can change. Now, it may require
297. 10:48a different way of looking at things.
298. 10:51However, that's great.
299. 10:54If everything you knew led you to this
300. 10:57problem that you have now, then it
301. 10:59follows that a new way of looking at
302. 11:01things is going to be the change and the
303. 11:04solution that allows for it to come
304. 11:06about.
305. 11:07So, instead of looking at this as this
306. 11:09massive problem in your life, looking at
307. 11:11it as this massive opportunity for you
308. 11:14to inquire into what you actually are
309. 11:17and to learn about yourself and to learn
310. 11:20that the fulfillment and peace you think
311. 11:22you're finding in that activity is
312. 11:23actually
313. 11:24when you just get your mind quiet and
314. 11:26experience what you really are
315. 11:29without any cluttering. So, this is
316. 11:31actually a really good process of
317. 11:33self-inquiry.
318. 11:35It's a good thing to use
319. 11:37to begin a spiritual journey.
320. 11:41Because one knows somewhere you are
321. 11:43already that wholeness. You are that
322. 11:45experience of that 3 seconds of oh my
323. 11:48god, this is fantastic. So, of course
324. 11:50you're right to want that. You're wrong
325. 11:52in thinking it's external to you over
326. 11:54there, in women, in people, in things,
327. 11:56in places
328. 11:58when it's right here, right now.
329. 12:00And that
330. 12:02is how you actually win at this.
331. 12:07Win is the right term. But, it's finding
332. 12:09that fulfillment is not separate from
333. 12:10you and using these extreme suffering
334. 12:14behaviors as ways to point back
335. 12:17to the happiness that must already be
336. 12:19here.
337. 12:21So, if you're more If you're more
338. 12:22curious about this, leave some comments
339. 12:25or encourage me to talk about it more.
340. 12:28I forgot that this is something I've
341. 12:29done. I usually try to talk about
342. 12:31spirituality in general, but I think
343. 12:33it's actually way better to speak about
344. 12:35how it's affected you practically in
345. 12:36everyday life cuz that makes it
346. 12:38relatable to people.
347. 12:40So, maybe I'll make more videos on this.
348. 12:42Let me know.