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How To Make Financial Wellness Your Reality | Brent Hines | TEDxPleasantGrove — Transcript

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0:00[Music]
0:07[Applause]
0:08[Music]
0:09[Applause]
0:14talking about money can be weird we
0:17acknowledge that but if you've been on
0:20this planet long enough I'm guessing
0:21you've got a story or two to tell
0:23hopefully it's a story of maybe when you
0:26got the money thing right but more
0:28likely than not if you're like the rest
0:30of us there's probably a story or two
0:32that you could tell or maybe you got the
0:34money thing wrong
0:35we've all got stories and I'm here today
0:39to actually share mine with you it was
0:42July 18 2008 Grayson was five Lilly was
0:50three amy was scared and so was I life
0:56had been going good up until that point
0:58I mean having grown up a poor kid I was
1:01charging that trail to go prove the
1:04world wrong that I didn't matter that I
1:06did have good ideas that I would turn
1:09into something that they would pay
1:11attention to me someday that fire in the
1:14belly that drives ambition I mean I had
1:17gotten to I'd worked my way through
1:18college I got into a great business
1:21school earned a degree in finance I was
1:22well on my way to proving them wrong
1:24in turn and then eventually got hired by
1:27a really high-end financial services
1:30firm even was hand-picked and was being
1:33groomed and mentored by the founder and
1:35CEO of that financial company by all
1:39outward measurements I was winning I
1:42seemed to be on the winners path I had
1:45it all had the the income I had the
1:48titles had the perception outward-facing
1:51only in hindsight and it all came
1:55crashing down having that front-row seat
1:59though inside of that firm being groomed
2:01by the CEO I knew what I believed
2:05success to be having grown up without
2:07that looked like success and I wanted it
2:11so I was doing my best imitation of a
2:12million
2:13lifestyle early early on like the flip
2:18of a switch or like the igniting of a
2:20bomb on July 18th it literally all went
2:25away it blew up in my face it was over
2:28it was gone the income the career my
2:32future my dreams
2:34unfortunately my identity unfortunately
2:38was tied to that my ability to provide
2:41for my family he was literally gone I
2:45wasn't sure where to turn and to make it
2:48worse since we're sharing my ears were
2:52still ringing from this financial bomb
2:54having just gone off and yet I was under
2:58attack and unfortunately under attack by
3:00the person who had been my mentor the
3:02prior 15 years and my mentor the prior
3:05who your honor to attack financially
3:07legally reputationally any way that we
3:12could be shot at we were being shot at
3:14and it was daily like a drumbeat like
3:17the fear of not knowing where the next
3:19phone call the next email the next knock
3:21on the door would come from like what
3:24monster is gonna be on the other side of
3:25the door today I still to this day I
3:28can't come up with the words to describe
3:31like that that guttural fear that we had
3:35and then to make it even worse one more
3:39time it was all my fault I mean don't
3:43get me wrong it's easy to want to blame
3:44the people that were attacking you but
3:48the blame was really on me I'm the one
3:50that had left myself and my family Amy
3:54and the kids vulnerable to attack by
3:56mistakes that I had made shortcuts I had
3:59taken and then out of fear my attempt to
4:03try to hide them I owned it it was all
4:07on me
4:08with this being said why would I stand
4:11in front of an audience this size and
4:14tell you such a personal and humbling
4:17story because that that fire my belly as
4:21the poor kid growing up that wanted to
4:23prove the world wrong I had a new fire
4:26in my belly
4:27as we began to recover and learn and
4:30grow from those scariest of days and
4:32that that new fire my belly was if
4:35somebody that you know had the financial
4:37education that I did a degree in finance
4:39from a top Business School and with the
4:42experience and the expertise in the
4:44world in the field of finance if I could
4:46burn my life to the ground then what can
4:49I do to help others that maybe don't
4:50have the background in the history that
4:52I do to prevent them from making even
4:55the smallest percentage of mistakes that
4:57I had made what could I do to help
5:00people pursue a life of what today we
5:03call financial well-being financial
5:05contentment here was my conclusion
5:11financial well-being does not equate to
5:14more financial information or more
5:17financial education because if it was I
5:20would have had that handled it was
5:22clearly about something more than just
5:24more information I mean think about it
5:27guys
5:27today we are more educated we have
5:30access to more information across the
5:33world than any than any time in human
5:36history and literally in the palm of our
5:38hand but yet as a culture especially
5:42here in the United States we tend to be
5:44screwing up this money thing worse than
5:46any generation prior to us where's the
5:49disconnect the disconnect is that
5:53financial well-being does not lie in
5:56having more information as a young man I
6:00was introduced to a model that is
6:03commonly referred to as B do have and
6:06believe in rod I was actually referred
6:07to that model by Zig Ziglar himself in
6:12the form of a a briefcase full of
6:15cassette tapes with the Zig Ziglar
6:16trainer now what a young guy was doing
6:18with a briefcase full of Zig Ziglar
6:19cassette tapes I still can't tell you
6:21but in my mom's basement at that poor
6:24kid growing up I would play those zig
6:26Zigler tapes over and over nerd alert my
6:32friends are pretending to be rock stars
6:33in the basement and I'm pretending to be
6:35Zig Ziglar but Zig presented presented
6:37this concept this model of B do have
6:39to me it made so much sense and it was
6:42actually more than that actually
6:42represented a path out that I was going
6:46to take and I was gonna take mahom and
6:48dad with me like we were gonna get out
6:50of this rut that I felt that we were in
6:52I wanted more so picture be do and have
6:57as Americans pop culture says go
7:00straight to the have now some of the
7:01haves are good like goal-setting we tend
7:03to get very crystal clear about what it
7:05is that we want to have but
7:07unfortunately as Americans especially we
7:11go straight to the haves and what do we
7:13as Americans want to have we want it all
7:16and we want it now like yesterday now I
7:20want it the half I want it now I don't
7:22want to pay for it later the models
7:25suggest that we take a couple of steps
7:27back that the power belongs in the in
7:30the do be do have doing meaning the
7:34behaviors the actions the habits these
7:38are the these are the vehicle that will
7:40take us to the haves one more step back
7:43if this is the vehicle that will take us
7:45to the haves this the be the beam is the
7:50fuel to put in the machine in the
7:53vehicle that will get us there the most
7:55important number that we can remember in
7:57terms of succeeding at financial
7:59well-being is the number six it's the
8:02six inches between our ears this is
8:05where success with money starts the
8:08things that we believe the scripts that
8:11tapes the records that play in our mind
8:13that takes us directly to the behaviors
8:16there's a one-to-one direct correlation
8:18what we believe tends to be what we do
8:21what we do is what's going to drive us
8:23to our results if you had got mediocre
8:26results we can probably unpack the
8:28behaviors and see that your behaviors
8:30were leading direct to mediocracy the
8:33model though if we want to apply it to
8:35finance in terms of have most haves in
8:38people's financial lives or if we're
8:40pursuing financial well-being would be
8:42financial piece or financial outcomes if
8:47you will that lifestyle of finance but
8:50if we want to understand how to get
8:52there we really need to pay attention
8:53- what are those financial behaviors
8:55that are going to take us to our most
8:57important financial goals or the
8:59financial habits these habits occur
9:02hourly daily weekly and they compound if
9:06we want to then fuel those healthiest of
9:09behaviors then we need to pay close
9:10attention to what we believe to be true
9:12about money again the the psychologists
9:16and the behavioral scientists will refer
9:18to these as scripts tapes records they
9:21were given to us by our authoritative
9:22figures in life the vast majority of
9:25those beliefs are negative or they're
9:28self-limiting and to pile on they're
9:32oftentimes repetitive they're running in
9:34the background all the time these
9:35beliefs may be its beliefs about debt or
9:39maybe it's just the way things are
9:42air-quote moment well the way things are
9:44is well normal people have car payments
9:47everyone has credit card debt besides I
9:50earn reward miles and beliefs such as
9:55that so of course we eat out everyone
9:58eats out on and on and on the beliefs
10:01are what fuel the vehicle the vehicle is
10:03what takes us directly to our haves our
10:07beliefs Drive our financial behaviors
10:10which drive us to financial well-being
10:13anything resembling financial education
10:16or financial well wellness even clothes
10:18in the marketplace today seems to go
10:21straight to the have it doesn't pay
10:23attention to the behaviors and it
10:24doesn't pay attention to the beliefs any
10:27guesses as to why it goes straight to
10:30the have because the have is where they
10:32get to tap into at the emotional parts
10:34of our brain and they get to sell us the
10:36dream can you imagine a marketer an
10:38advertiser trying to sell behavior I
10:40mean behavior is not sexy the new car is
10:44sexy the new car smell is sexy the
10:51National Wellness Institute does a
10:52really nice job from a wellness not
10:54financial wellness specifically but from
10:56an overall total well-being perspective
10:58of creating a model for us to understand
11:01what we mean by whole life or our entire
11:05life on purpose
11:07so as we look at these six dimensions of
11:10their of their model in the wheel as you
11:13look at those can you think are there
11:14any of those dimensions that are immune
11:16from our financial well-being or lack
11:21thereof
11:21I say no there's no getting around it
11:25none of these are immune I think there's
11:27a few fundamental truths to life one of
11:30them is is that life is
11:30multi-dimensional it's not simple
11:34we are not simple creatures we're
11:36complex
11:37we're complicated it's deep number two
11:41our financial life does not live in a
11:43vacuum it interacts with all the other
11:45dimensions and none of the dimensions
11:48are mutually exclusive life especially
11:51our financial life looks a lot less like
11:54a spreadsheet looks a lot more like a
11:56lava lamp sometimes like I don't know if
11:58I like the color of my lava lamp but
12:01that's how it is it's not clean and
12:03simple it's not 90-degree edges in
12:05concentric circles sometimes it's messy
12:07but that's where growth comes from some
12:11examples of financial distress if we're
12:14not doing a good job of taking care of
12:15ourselves financially and how it shows
12:17up in art in our overall life as an
12:19example physical our physical dimension
12:21of life and by the way this model is not
12:24meant to to say that this is fully
12:27inclusive of life but these are six
12:29major categories of life so physical
12:31health being one of them 20% of
12:34Americans admit to not going to the
12:36doctor when they need health care
12:37because of financial concerns that's sad
12:41emotional emotional health as an example
12:45one in three Americans who have a
12:48partner in life say that finance is
12:51their top source of stress inside of
12:53their relationship that's maybe a little
12:55more predictable here's a really sad one
12:57well Brett what would what would finance
12:59have to do with the spiritual dimension
13:01of my life that that doesn't I don't
13:03connect those two dots my spiritual life
13:05and my financial well-being of Americans
13:09earning $75,000 a year or more any
13:13guesses as to what percentage of their
13:16gross income do Americans earn in
13:19seventy-five thousand or more give
13:20to church or charity 1% 1% of Americans
13:27earning 75,000 or more give to church or
13:29charity to make it worse there's
13:32actually an inverse relationship of any
13:34income above 75 thousand as an
13:36individual as income goes up giving
13:39percentage actually goes down as a
13:41nation we've got this thing mixed up
13:43guys I'm here to tell you I'm pounding
13:46the drum of pop culture is not doing us
13:49any favors pop culture set what they're
13:52telling us to do is actually almost the
13:55inverse of what we should be doing it's
13:58unhealthy it's time to break those rules
14:00so my challenge for us today is twofold
14:02number one is there something in this
14:05mindset of be do and have is there
14:07something in your financial world today
14:09that you could take action on I mean
14:11literally this very day is there
14:13something you could do this afternoon or
14:15evening on your way home when you get
14:17home that could positively impact your
14:19financial well-being I'll give you one
14:22example if in this day and age of
14:26reality TV if you were leaving here
14:28today and a camera crew jumped out in
14:30front of you and said for $10,000 give
14:33us your definition of financial
14:34well-being in 10 seconds or less go
14:37would you even have the first word to
14:39start and by the way there's no wrong
14:42answer you own it this is your
14:44definition what is financial well-being
14:46to you it might be being debt-free it
14:49might be saving more for retirement
14:51might be a retirement date it might be
14:54saving for your kids or grandkids
14:55college fund it may be a lifestyle
14:58change it may be giving it may be
15:00building legacy everyone's is different
15:02there's not two that are the same so
15:05take action number two once you have
15:08that action defined then can you clearly
15:10state one of the healthiest behaviors in
15:13the business world we call these key
15:14performance indicators what are those
15:17healthiest behaviors that are going to
15:19drive you to your version of financial
15:22well-being and then number three what
15:25can you do to change any unhealthy or
15:28self-limiting scripts or beliefs that
15:31would prevent you from taking that
15:33action that you know is the short
15:35path to getting what you need to find
15:38what you want get clear on the behavior
15:40and then unpack what are some of the
15:43beliefs that are slowing you down or
15:44preventing you from getting going that's
15:46number one you can do that tonight
15:49second challenge is can we agree to not
15:54buy in to the advertising and the
15:58marketing world of turning the word
16:00financial wellness or financial
16:02well-being into an empty buzzword and
16:06can we agree not to allow the financial
16:08industry's deep pockets guys can we
16:10agree not to allow them to misuse the
16:14term financial wellness to just promote
16:16more financial product can we actually
16:19consider financial wellness actually be
16:21an operating system if you like the
16:24model that I present today be do have
16:26wonderful if you like this idea of
16:29alignment of having those aligned and
16:30getting crystal clear on what it is that
16:32you want wonderful but it all comes down
16:35to the operating system versus making
16:37individual financial decisions when
16:40you're under attack from these really
16:42smart really really well funded
16:44marketing and advertising organizations
16:46and who when your life might benefit
16:50from having this conversation with you
16:52when and why this turned into a taboo
16:55topic I have no idea but I grew up with
16:58this belief that talking about money was
17:00personal and private inappropriate even
17:04taboo so are you willing to maybe take
17:07this challenge and say hey who is it in
17:08my life that I could really share a
17:10powerful message with and go and set the
17:13time to them to meet with that person
17:14and we can't have any conversation and
17:16it's not giving them advice it's just a
17:19conversation as dr. Robert Schuller said
17:22years ago beautifully any fool can count
17:26the number of seeds in an apple only God
17:29can count the number of apples in one
17:30seed thank you for listening to my story
17:32today god bless
17:35you

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