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How to Look, Behave EXPENSIVE & Use it to Your ADVANTAGE — Transcript

by Vlada Lacheev · 4,246 words · 627 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Looking expensive is not being chic and
0:02bougie and posting on social media. It's
0:05controlling the impression that people
0:07have of you and turning that impression
0:10into social advantages. Think about
0:13politicians, celebrities, business
0:16people. They all know they are masters
0:19in how to control the impression that
0:21people have of them. Those people
0:23control what you think of them the
0:24entire time and that's why they gain
0:26social capital, influence, they make
0:29money. They are the most privileged
0:31people in the world. Looking expensive
0:33is the source of privilege because you
0:35can't control how someone will treat
0:37you, but you can control how they
0:40perceive you. This is proven by
0:41psychology. There are entire books about
0:44this like 48 Laws of Power and history
0:48has proven to us time and time again how
0:50women that came from nothing were able
0:53to become extremely socially relevant
0:56because of their way of controlling
0:58perception in certain spaces. But where
1:01it gets interesting is that you can look
1:03expensive and behave cheap and then the
1:05way you look doesn't matter anymore. Or
1:07you can behave expensive, but then the
1:09first impression doesn't help at all.
1:11And also, you can look and behave
1:13expensive, but then you do not know how
1:15to use it in your advantage. So that's
1:17where this video comes and will teach
1:21you how to do all of these things and
1:25transform it into social privilege. And
1:27like I said, there is no such a thing
1:29like controlling perception without
1:31controlling first impression of you. So
1:34here are some things that give away
1:36immediately from looking at you for 1
1:39second if you come across as cheap or
1:42expensive. One of the most important
1:44things I learned about visual
1:46presentation is that it doesn't matter
1:49so much what you wear, the clothes
1:51themselves, but how they interact with
1:54each other. Do they have the same visual
1:56language and vibe or it looks like you
1:59borrowed one thing from each friend that
2:01you have on the day that you got locked
2:03out of your apartment? This happened to
2:06me and the outfit was not looking great.
2:08So, every time that you shop, don't shop
2:10in isolation. Don't do impulsive
2:13shopping just because something looked
2:15cute at some point on social media.
2:17Every time you buy something, think
2:19about the context of your wardrobe, the
2:21context of your style. Every time you
2:24shop something, I wonder, do I have at
2:26least three four outfits that I could
2:28integrate this item into
2:30or not? If I can't picture four outfits
2:33in which this item could fit, I'll leave
2:36it. And by the way, this is also why I
2:38always tell you how important it is to
2:40have a signature style and how it makes
2:43it easier for you to manipulate
2:45perception and to be remembered. That's
2:48why in order to amplify your beauty and
2:50presence as a woman, it's extremely
2:52important to have a signature piece of
2:54jewelry that doesn't distract your
2:56beauty, but rather amplifies it. And
2:59speaking of this, this video is kindly
3:01sponsored by Moon Magic and these are
3:04the gemstones that I chose. This is the
3:06gorgeous garnet stone that
3:09I'm wearing literally every single day
3:11since it arrived. And this is the
3:13labradorite one, also absolutely
3:16gorgeous
3:18with this detail of the double chain.
3:21What I love about these pieces is that
3:24they have personality and they have a
3:27meaning behind them, but they don't
3:30compete with your face or with your
3:31outfit. So, you can literally wear them
3:33with anything and they will not look out
3:36of place. They will not look overly
3:37spiritual. They will anchor your face by
3:40supporting your lip color or maybe you
3:42have blue eyes and you want blue topaz
3:46or labradorite. For me, the meaning of
3:48my signature piece is just as important
3:50as how it looks. In fact, last year I
3:54was really drawn to blue topaz and I
3:57found out later on after wearing it for
3:59like 1 month and a half that the meaning
4:03was strength and clarity, which is
4:06exactly what I needed when I was
4:08starting my channel. But this year I
4:10surprisingly found myself drawn to
4:13garnet and this time I searched
4:15immediately and garnet is something that
4:17represents femininity and the power of
4:20transforming your ideas into concrete
4:22reality. And lately in fact I was
4:24feeling like I had so many ideas, but it
4:27was really hard to bring them to life.
4:31And
4:32I can tell you that every day when I am
4:35just feeling this happiness and I feel
4:39like I can't do something, I touch the
4:42signature jewelry that I wear and I feel
4:45the energy of the gemstones. And if you
4:48think about it, these gemstones, no
4:50matter if you're spiritual or not, they
4:52stayed in the earth inside of the crust
4:54of the earth for millions of years and
4:57they are charged with the atoms, with
4:59the pressure of the earth and they have
5:02so much energy in them, which honestly
5:04is not comparable for me with something
5:07that is for example just a branded
5:09trendy piece. And this is why also I
5:12picked the labradorite one as the second
5:14one because I know that labradorite
5:16represents bringing out your hidden
5:18potential, which again is one of the
5:21things that I'm trying to work on right
5:24now. So yeah, I feel like your signature
5:26piece should always be something that
5:28you are drawn to, not something that
5:30sits in your drawer and you forget about
5:32it. And also before Moon Magic I had
5:35this little garnet necklace that was a
5:40bit difficult to style, so I couldn't
5:42wear it with everything and I was
5:44actually looking for something that was
5:46so easy to style. So, if you're looking
5:49for a signature piece, you can check the
5:51link down below, and you can get 10% of
5:53discount from my link in addition to
5:56their 40% of discount on their website.
5:59And you can see that they have some
6:02pieces that are more statement rings,
6:04more statement necklaces, and others are
6:07little tiny details like this. And let's
6:10move on to the next point. The next
6:12thing that gives away if you look cheap
6:14or expensive
6:15is the visual weight of your clothes and
6:17your accessories. Is there a focal
6:19point, or everything is trying to be the
6:22main character? Cuz there is a lot of
6:25difference. For you to look expensive,
6:28you have to be visible. If you are
6:31covered into things that compete for
6:33attention, you're not going to be
6:35visible anymore. So, there has to be a
6:38hierarchy. One thing has the role to be
6:40the statement, and the other things are
6:43like the supporting character of the
6:45statement. So, let's say, for example,
6:47this dress is already doing a lot. Now,
6:51if I also had a blowout with all the
6:54hair showing, all in the front, and
6:57seven chains over here, and these
6:59buttons were a little bit bigger,
7:01whatever, you would not see me anymore.
7:03You would not be able to even focus on
7:05my presence because you would be
7:07distracted by all the things that you
7:10are seeing. Each item could be the best,
7:12most beautiful item on the market, but
7:14it still doesn't matter because your eye
7:16would get lost, would not focus on
7:18anything in the end. Compare this to an
7:20outfit like this that has a statement,
7:23and all the other things are supporting.
7:25Like this dress has a lot of details,
7:27has buttons. Actually, it also has this
7:30kind of details.
7:32It looks classy because it enhances your
7:35aura. It doesn't distract from it. And
7:37that's what intentional styling is
7:40about. It's creating a hierarchy. Now,
7:43the cherry on the top is your hair. You
7:45need to understand the role of your hair
7:47because your hair dictates how
7:49everything else that we just talked
7:50about is perceived. Think about how a
7:53bad makeup day can be saved by a good
7:55hair day. A basic outfit day can be
7:58saved by a nice makeup day and a lush
8:02hair.
8:03But, what cannot be saved by anything is
8:07a bad hair day. Not your makeup, not
8:10your style can distract someone from a
8:13bad hair day. That bad hair day will
8:16follow you in every mirror, in every
8:19perception the entire day. Why is this?
8:21Because your hair occupies the most of
8:24the real estate around your face. So,
8:26when your hair is greasy or dry, it has
8:28those shiny and dry patches that
8:30contrast between them and your hair ends
8:33up stealing attention from the harmony
8:35of your face, from your makeup, and now
8:37it will also make your makeup look
8:39greasy because if this greasy hair is
8:42sticking on your makeup, you end up
8:44looking crusty. So, always make sure
8:46that your hair is clean, looks
8:48intentional, and invest time into making
8:52sure that every single day your hair
8:54looks its best. The other thing I wanted
8:56to do, every time you leave the house,
8:59make sure that your styling looks good
9:01from the side, from the back. Everything
9:04looks great, not just from the front.
9:07Not just with your bathroom lighting.
9:09And in fact, get ready for the exact
9:11light that you are going to be under. If
9:14you go at an event that has indoor
9:16lighting, know that that light casts a
9:19lot of shadows. So, don't overdo your
9:22brows. Don't overdo your contour because
9:25it will look good in your bathroom ring
9:27light, but it will look very harsh and
9:29very heavy under that kind of indoor
9:31lighting. And if you go on a date that
9:34say that it's outside, then make sure
9:36that you don't put too thick of a base,
9:40that you do a skin first makeup because
9:42outside makeup tends to look very cakey
9:45if it's not done for outside. Looking
9:47expensive is so much more than just wear
9:50beige, wear neutrals. It's all about
9:53special and social awareness. And if you
9:55want to help the light interact with
9:57your features in the best possible way,
9:59I have my baseline beauty method that
10:02contains some tests that will make you
10:04understand one some days you were
10:05looking washed out despite trying to do
10:08the best to look amazing and other days
10:11you were barely trying and you were
10:13looking flawless. That's because of how
10:16light interacts with your skin, because
10:18the environment around your face such as
10:20your jewelry, your hair, your everything
10:23affects so much more than anything else
10:25you can do with makeup. And these tests
10:27will give you personal results of things
10:30that apply only to you and it's not just
10:32tests, you have also some tricks and
10:36tips to always look flawless. In fact,
10:39that's why baseline beauty because it
10:41raises the beauty that you wake up with
10:43every day before you even get ready. So,
10:45if you want more facial harmony, better
10:47facial proportion, you want your facial
10:50thirds to be more balanced, then you
10:53have the link down below. Now that you
10:55know how to look expensive, let's move
10:57on to part two. Here is where once you
11:01learn how to give the first impression
11:03as an expensive woman, this is how you
11:05behave expensive because behaving
11:09expensive is really, really
11:11misinterpreted. Most content that tells
11:14you how to act expensive is mostly
11:16teaching you how to act arrogant. I'm
11:19going to teach you social strategy
11:21because people that are raised in
11:22environments that are expensive, they
11:25have social skills. They have social
11:27awareness and they are very socially
11:29intelligent because they were put in
11:32those kind of environments where they
11:34could develop it. You are maybe not.
11:37Maybe you are not as lucky as someone
11:39that was raised in those environments,
11:41but we can get to the same results.
11:43Okay, first I want to make a distinction
11:46of why arrogance and sophistication can
11:48look very similar. Because being
11:51difficult to access, having high
11:53standards, not talking too much and
11:57oversharing,
11:58that can be both arrogance and
12:01sophistication. The difference is not
12:03the behavior. The difference is when and
12:06where and with whom. I want you to learn
12:08to understand the hierarchy in the room
12:11and your position in it. What is the
12:14purpose of that interaction? Because
12:16you're not going to have the same
12:17attitude with your friend as with
12:20someone that has spent 30 years building
12:22their career and is taking the time to
12:25explain you something. And not because
12:27they are better or more important than
12:29your friend, but because the purpose of
12:31the interaction is different. Social
12:34intelligent people understand this and
12:37that's where they know when it's time to
12:39talk, when it's time to shut up, when
12:42it's not the time to correct someone,
12:45even if they said something wrong.
12:46That's why someone that is constantly
12:48trying to prove how intelligent, how
12:51accomplished and knowledgeable they are,
12:54they end up looking desperate compared
12:57to someone that is just a bit more
12:59assertive and can actually listen to
13:01others and create space for others to
13:03talk and to shine. This person will look
13:06much more sophisticated in comparison.
13:08All of this without putting yourself
13:12in a place where you feel inferior to
13:14others, without treating them as if they
13:16are royalty and you are their servant.
13:18The most expensive and sophisticated
13:20thing you can do, in fact, is not taking
13:23the attention that you're able to get in
13:25that moment. Let's say, for example,
13:28someone is talking about an
13:30accomplishment that they had, something
13:32really great that happened to them, and
13:34you have something very similar to
13:36share, something that would prove that
13:38you have just the same value, but you're
13:40socially intelligent, and you understand
13:43that that moment belongs to them, and
13:45you choose to not interrupt. So, you let
13:47them finish, you ask a question about
13:50their experience,
13:52and you allow this person to be excited
13:55about this thing. You let them shine,
13:58despite of being able to just steal that
14:01moment from them. Not doing that alone
14:04really removes from you an opportunity
14:06to look extremely cheap, because when
14:08someone is constantly trying to be at
14:10the center of the attention and stealing
14:12the moment from others, they end up
14:15looking desperate. People get tired of
14:18having them around, and trust me, there
14:20is no privilege that comes out of that.
14:23Same thing applies when someone is
14:24teaching you something, and they know
14:26much more than you, and they make a
14:27small mistake. Now, if you decide to not
14:31correct them on that mistake, that's
14:33much more sophisticated than looking
14:35like a fool that is trying to sound
14:37intelligent by correcting someone that
14:40is already extremely qualified in that.
14:43This is not about making yourself
14:45smaller or trying to put yourself down.
14:47This is about understanding when your
14:49contribution will serve the
14:51conversation, and when will serve simply
14:54your ego. Not every opportunity to take
14:56the spotlight should be taken, because
14:58being able to not take it when you could
15:01take it really will bring you so much
15:03more privilege, especially because
15:05people that are in a certain position,
15:07they want to feel in that position. This
15:10is also in one of the 48 Laws of Powers
15:14of Robert Greene, where you should not
15:17try to compete with someone that wants
15:20to be in a certain place. This will
15:22literally deprive you of so many
15:24privileges, especially even if you are a
15:26person that is extremely knowledgeable,
15:28intelligent, and is really qualified.
15:30This quality of trying to outshine
15:33people that are really trying to be
15:36under the spotlight or deserve to be
15:38under the spotlight, this really
15:39sabotages so many privileges. And you
15:42might think, "Okay, but if my value is
15:44so high, and how do you know this might
15:45benefit me?" No.
15:47This will really put that person against
15:49you because now this person will simply
15:52consider you arrogant. This is why the
15:53moment is important. They will not focus
15:55on the fact that you know the thing.
15:57They will focus on the moment you chose
15:59to show that you know it. Next thing
16:01about sophistication is that you don't
16:03need to prove people your status. You
16:06need to understand the situation so well
16:09that you don't need to prove your status
16:11with words. People that are familiar
16:14with a certain environment, they know
16:16its conventions without having to say
16:19out loud that they understand those
16:21conventions. Imagine you're at a dinner
16:23with a group of people that are much
16:25wealthier than you, much more
16:26successful. They have life experiences
16:28that you wish you had. And now there is
16:31a girl just like you, and she tries to
16:33constantly establish her position by
16:35mentioning expensive experiences,
16:38expensive vacations, luxury restaurants.
16:42But you on the other side ask relevant
16:44questions to these people. You
16:46participate normally like everybody else
16:49because especially people that belong in
16:51a certain place, they don't need to
16:53prove that they belong. So if you study
16:55how everybody else is behaving around
16:57you, the people that actually belong,
16:59and you act like that, then you will
17:01look much more sophisticated without
17:03ever having to advertise your status.
17:06And these people, when they will have to
17:08think about one of you two, they will
17:11think of you. They will feel like you
17:12actually belong because, like I told
17:15you, people give privilege from
17:17perception, not from what you say. And
17:20now, this is where we get into what do
17:22we do with looking and behaving
17:25expensive. Because honestly,
17:27nothing. But, knowing when, where, and
17:31how to transform this into social
17:32advantages, this is where things really
17:36change your life.
17:38And this is going to sound very
17:40manipulative,
17:42but you need to help people project
17:45their fantasy onto you. This is one of
17:47the most important things you can learn
17:49to do in social dynamics. Because even
17:52though it sounds bad, understanding what
17:54people are looking for in a certain
17:56place at a certain time, and projecting
18:00to them the fantasy that you are that
18:03exact thing they're looking for, this is
18:05what gives you the privilege that you
18:07are looking for. Because people usually
18:09don't choose the person that has the
18:11most qualities, that is really the best
18:13at something. They choose the person
18:15that they can imagine occupying that
18:18role that they are looking for. You can
18:20be in the room with someone that is more
18:21qualified than you, more experienced
18:23than you, can present themselves in a
18:26better way than you. But if that person
18:28is not able to project the qualities
18:30that the decision maker is looking for,
18:32and you are able to project those, then
18:35you will still be chosen. It's never a
18:38competition who is better, who has more
18:40qualities. It's about having the social
18:42skills of studying people. And this is
18:46exactly what I'm going to teach you
18:47right now. You need to understand what
18:49the person in front of you values the
18:51most, what they're trying to achieve,
18:54what are they afraid to do wrong, and
18:57what kind of person would make their
18:59life easier. For example, if a brand is
19:03looking for a woman to hire in a room,
19:06they're not looking for the most
19:07talented woman in that room. They are
19:10looking for the woman that embodies
19:12better the identity of the brand, the
19:14values that they are trying to project
19:17in their marketing. Someone inviting you
19:19in a social circle isn't necessarily
19:21looking for the most beautiful person,
19:24with the most money. Maybe they're
19:27looking for someone that can make the
19:29group appear in a different way, more
19:31sophisticated or more connected, more
19:34prestigious. So, that's also why
19:36competing blindly with other people,
19:39other candidates, other women is
19:41literally the biggest waste of time. You
19:44don't even know what you're competing
19:45for. You're just trying to prove that
19:47you're better, but this will never work.
19:49Your social advantage now is in
19:52understanding what exactly they're
19:54choosing you to represent in that
19:56setting. And most women do this wrong
19:59because they try to always look like the
20:02most interesting, the funniest, the
20:04prettiest. They try to project way too
20:07many qualities at the same time. But, in
20:09the end, by trying to display their
20:11whole personality, they're just creating
20:13a noisy presence. And now these people
20:15are getting so overwhelmed by this
20:17presence that they don't even go back to
20:19her to check on her anymore. If you
20:21identify two, three qualities that
20:23really matter in that environment, and
20:26you find a way to make them unmistakably
20:30visible on you,
20:32that is going to make you win all the
20:35time. For example, if you're trying to
20:37show that you're competent, don't
20:40constantly talk about your achievements,
20:42what you've done, what you know. No.
20:45Listen carefully to the person.
20:48Understand what problem they're dealing
20:50with. Identify something that all the
20:52other people have overlooked, and then
20:55come up with a strategy, with the next
20:57step. This will make your presence be
20:59perceived much more expensive than
21:02rambling about yourself 20 minutes. And
21:04this is why you need to know how to use
21:07those things that I told you before.
21:09Because if you do know that this is the
21:12way to use it, you will just have all
21:14these good qualities and then use them
21:16to sabotage yourself. You know how some
21:18companies, they will give you a product
21:20for free or a service for free and then
21:23you are like, "Damn, I want to buy
21:24this." And that's not because they
21:26convinced you with their words that they
21:28are so valuable. They simply proved to
21:30you that you need them. And that's how
21:33they got you. We are not trying to give
21:35this desperate performance to show
21:36someone we're valuable. We embody the
21:38qualities that are already fine valuable
21:41and we make it easy for them to
21:43recognize them. And another layer to
21:45this that goes even deeper is you need
21:47to understand the difference between
21:49what people say that they want and what
21:52qualities actually make them choose a
21:55certain person. Someone can say they are
21:57looking for someone that is original,
22:00different, but then they still choose
22:02someone that fits their own idea of what
22:04an interesting person is. For example, I
22:07used to do this commercial castings for
22:09brands that were saying, "We're looking
22:11for someone original." And I was
22:13applying to those castings but they
22:14never passing them. And when I would see
22:16the final commercial, I would see that
22:19they chose someone, for example, with
22:21purple hair. See how they would say,
22:23"Yeah, we want someone that has a
22:25distinctive personality." But they were
22:27looking for someone that was embodying a
22:29completely different archetype than
22:31whatever I could have imagined. Someone
22:34can also say, "I like a woman with
22:35strong personality." But then they value
22:38strong personality in a context of poise
22:41and elegance rather than someone that is
22:45trying to desperately prove themselves
22:47in every single way. See how there are
22:49so many nuances. So, don't just listen
22:52to what people say that they want, but
22:54try to analyze all the time whose
22:56opinion they ask for, who they try to
22:59make room for, who are they always
23:02praising? Whose mistakes are they
23:04forgiving all the time? What qualities
23:07do they praise in others and then study
23:10those people, too? I know all of this
23:12can sound strategic, manipulative, and a
23:15little bit big me if something, but this
23:17is what social strategy is. Social
23:19strategy and privilege is a form of
23:21social climbing. You are trying to be in
23:23a certain room, in a certain environment
23:25because you want something out of that
23:27environment. It means something for you,
23:28right? And that's why it's called social
23:30climbing. It's not called social sitting
23:33on the couch and looking mysterious. And
23:35to be honest with you, social strategy,
23:37social climbing is extremely important
23:39for women because if you only rely on
23:42men to social climb, you are trying to
23:45get with a rich man to provide for you
23:47all of this, you are still putting
23:49yourself in a risky position because as
23:51long as that person holds you, you are
23:53safe. When a person drops you, you are
23:55no longer safe. So, I want you to have
23:57social skills to get what you want
24:00without any middleman, just with your
24:03own skills. But, I want to also make an
24:05important note, which is you don't have
24:07to invent a personality that you can
24:09sustain and that you don't have. You
24:11just need to identify which of the
24:14qualities that you have are relevant,
24:16develop the ones that you are missing,
24:18and learn how to communicate them. That
24:21is the entire point. And when you learn
24:23this, you stop trying to walk into the
24:26environments that matter to you and
24:28trying to prove that you are the best
24:30woman there, the best option, and tries
24:33to stand out, but you're able to walk in
24:36and immediately analyze what does this
24:39room needs to believe about the person
24:41that they choose and how I can make them
24:43see those qualities in me.
24:46That is it. And thank you so much for
24:48watching. I also see so many new faces
24:51lately and I'm so happy to have you all
24:53here
24:54and see you next time.

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This page contains the full transcript of How to Look, Behave EXPENSIVE & Use it to Your ADVANTAGE by Vlada Lacheev, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 4,246 words across 627 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

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