How to Keep His Interest FOREVER - The Scarcity Effect Explained! The Spy Rule of Desire — Transcript

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1. 0:00You are mysterious, seductive woman and
2. 0:04he needs to deserve you because you're
3. 0:07the queen. You're the goddess. Respect
4. 0:09yourself. Build your self-confidence.
5. 0:11Don't make him as a center of your life.
6. 0:14Align all these rules. What you can do
7. 0:16on what you cannot do. How to be
8. 0:19desirable, not available. What is
9. 0:22scarcity effect? You are too nice, too
10. 0:27predictable, too boring and hence your
11. 0:31partner leaves you finding different
12. 0:35reasons to leave so it won't hurt you
13. 0:38and you still don't understand why are
14. 0:41you single? Why is it happening in your
15. 0:44life? Why after three or whatever 5
16. 0:46years he leaves you? And what is the
17. 0:50real reason why would he leave you? So
18. 0:53let's talk about scarcity effect which
19. 0:56are one of the techniques
20. 0:59from the spy school. Women often make a
21. 1:03fatal mistake. They're too accessible.
22. 1:06They're too available. But men want to
23. 1:09chase. Men want to conquer women. For
24. 1:13example, I live by the spy rule which is
25. 1:16I never call. I hardly text myself
26. 1:20first. I allow man to chase me. I allow
27. 1:24men to do the first step but also giving
28. 1:28him the platform to do that. But I don't
29. 1:32bother man with questions like where
30. 1:34have you been? What are you doing? Where
31. 1:38did you go yesterday? Where are you
32. 1:40right now? With whom did you speak? And
33. 1:43all this. Please ladies don't you don't
34. 1:45do it to your man. Please. It's it's
35. 1:47really annoying. I think I would say if
36. 1:49somebody does it to me, I this is a red
37. 1:51flag. I'm like I cut this person off
38. 1:53from my life. Let's talk about situation
39. 1:56when you're just dating. Okay. When you
40. 2:00know you still building your
41. 2:03relationship and you want to make him
42. 2:06more fall in love with you. So what do
43. 2:08you do not to be too available and too
44. 2:12accessible? For example, these
45. 2:14conversations, he would call you and you
46. 2:15would be like, "Yeah, I went to the gym
47. 2:18this morning and then I have my matcha
48. 2:20and then like Sarah called me and we
49. 2:23have this conversation about a new
50. 2:24collection of this fashion brand and
51. 2:27then maybe we go to the spa and maybe
52. 2:29then we go for the lunch or something.
53. 2:32Please, this is boring." So when he
54. 2:34calls you and he asks you about your
55. 2:37plans or something, you can say, "Well,
56. 2:40my plan, it's very exciting. I don't
57. 2:43know even how to tell you about that.
58. 2:45Would you like to know more? Do would
59. 2:48you like to like gas? Let's play a
60. 2:50game." So you involve him into your
61. 2:53game, into this kind of like excitement
62. 2:56rather than making him to be bored.
63. 3:00Okay? If he texts you or calls you for
64. 3:02example sometimes, not often, but don't
65. 3:06reply straight away or like don't call
66. 3:09him yourself first. Make yourself a
67. 3:11little bit like you know you have your
68. 3:13own life. And this is one of the
69. 3:15important thing in your life. You have
70. 3:17your own things going on. You have your
71. 3:20hobbies, you have your friends, you have
72. 3:22your job, you have a lot of fulfillment
73. 3:26in your life. It's not just him. Don't
74. 3:28make him as a center of your life.
75. 3:30Nobody will ever respect and nobody will
76. 3:33ever appreciate that. You need to be
77. 3:37fulfilled with your own things what you
78. 3:41do. You need to be happy without anyone.
79. 3:44Nobody can make you happy. This is
80. 3:46something inside of you. So partner
81. 3:50comes to your life to share your
82. 3:52happiness, not to make you happy.
83. 3:55Please, this is so important. And this
84. 3:57is like number one of your validation to
85. 4:01be happy without anyone else. There is
86. 4:04one technique I would like to share. It
87. 4:06calls circle of hell. So basically
88. 4:09imagine you are in the middle of uh the
89. 4:13circle. And then there are many many
90. 4:16other circles. So any man who
91. 4:20would like to date you, he comes to this
92. 4:23sort of like circle but he's in the
93. 4:26beginning of his way. So he needs to go
94. 4:28through all the circles in order to be
95. 4:30in the center right or for example to be
96. 4:34with you or to have with you intercourse
97. 4:37depends what kind of relationship are
98. 4:39you looking for doesn't matter. So in
99. 4:40the center is you and the desire and his
100. 4:45hopes, right? You allow him to go and
101. 4:48play into this game. You don't make
102. 4:52yourself too available. It's not like,
103. 4:54"Okay, darling, here I am. Take me all."
104. 4:57No, please ladies, it doesn't work. You
105. 5:00are mysterious, seductive woman, and he
106. 5:04needs to deserve you because you're the
107. 5:07queen. You're the goddess. So he comes
108. 5:10to the first circle and he does
109. 5:13everything good. He sends you flowers.
110. 5:17He invites you for dates. He's very
111. 5:19polite and nice. Then you can move him
112. 5:22to the next circle closer to you. Then
113. 5:26you know he does something more. For
114. 5:28example, he helps you out with your I
115. 5:30mean cough which has to be fixed or I
116. 5:33don't know like something in your job or
117. 5:34something. So he helps you with
118. 5:36something. he moves on closer to the
119. 5:39center. If he does something wrong, he
120. 5:43can go back to the another the previous
121. 5:46circle. It's like a game. It's a
122. 5:48stimulation for man. And also, it's sort
123. 5:51of training for him. Imagine how you
124. 5:55teach kids or you train dogs. You don't
125. 5:59give to your dog treats all the time,
126. 6:02right? If he would poop on the carpet
127. 6:05which you just bought, you wouldn't give
128. 6:07him treat, right? Same here and not just
129. 6:11men to everyone. If somebody does some
130. 6:14bad thing to you, whatever you don't
131. 6:16like, don't make it like, oh, okay, no
132. 6:18problem. Because people will think like,
133. 6:20okay, I just step on her bound
134. 6:22boundaries and she's okay with that, so
135. 6:24I can push further. Have your own
136. 6:27boundaries, have your own distance. You
137. 6:31can do this and this and this but you
138. 6:34can't do this. And as you know the best
139. 6:39educational tool when somebody behaves
140. 6:43bad for example it works very well with
141. 6:46uh in the schools right they have this
142. 6:50deirits right when they kids doing
143. 6:54something bad in the school or like they
144. 6:56messy or something they the teacher
145. 6:58would put would give them deirits. So
146. 7:01with my son for example, he was in the
147. 7:02military school. He would have so many
148. 7:04de merits also. He was so naughty. But
149. 7:06what did they do? They would like do
150. 7:08some labor or they would be by themsel
151. 7:10in the classroom. What is it? It
152. 7:12isolation. It's sort of like ignorance
153. 7:17sort of ignorance. So instead of you
154. 7:19screaming at your partner how bad he is,
155. 7:22how stupid he is or he messed up with
156. 7:24this or that. Don't waste your energy.
157. 7:27Don't waste your time. become silent.
158. 7:31This is the best tool to educate people
159. 7:34that you don't like something. Do your
160. 7:37own thing. He will understand that
161. 7:39something is wrong. He will understand
162. 7:41that you became colder. He will wonder
163. 7:44why. And then you tell him, "Yes, I am.
164. 7:47I am upset about the thing you've done.
165. 7:50Please try to understand what did you do
166. 7:53wrong." So he will go back and analyze
167. 7:56his behavior because if you will give
168. 7:59him everything like this, oh you did
169. 8:01wrong this, this this this most likely
170. 8:04he would do it again. Most likely he
171. 8:07wouldn't understand the lesson. But you
172. 8:10build this relationship first of all of
173. 8:12the most important rule is to keep your
174. 8:17boundaries. So in any case in any
175. 8:20relationship first of all you have to be
176. 8:24always priority for yourself. Your
177. 8:26mental health is the most important. And
178. 8:30here we go to abusive manipulative
179. 8:32relationship where those manipulators
180. 8:35step on your boundaries and you cannot
181. 8:37say no. It's a big power to say no to
182. 8:41people. So try from setting up your
183. 8:45boundaries. Let me tell you how men
184. 8:48chooses women. Imagine men what do they
185. 8:53do when they want
186. 8:55the car? First of all, of course,
187. 8:58everybody wants like the most luxurious
188. 9:00sport car blah blah blah. But again,
189. 9:02question is it according to your budget?
190. 9:05But if he goes into Ferrari shop
191. 9:09and he does the test drive, the test
192. 9:11drive of course should be wonderful. And
193. 9:15then the thing is can he afford it? Can
194. 9:18he do this? Can he let's say if he takes
195. 9:22this car can he pay monthly this uh you
196. 9:26know fees for having this cars. I know
197. 9:28we cannot compare women to cars. This is
198. 9:31not the thing. It's just for you to
199. 9:33understand the psychology of men. How
200. 9:35does it work? If you position yourself
201. 9:37as Ferrari but not Toyota for example. I
202. 9:41don't mind anything against Toyotaas.
203. 9:43Sorry, but I'm just saying it's just
204. 9:45like an example. So, if you position
205. 9:47yourself as a Ferrari, I don't know,
206. 9:49Bentley, Lamborghini or whatever, like
207. 9:51expensive luxurious car, not like
208. 9:55whatever else like Toyota for example,
209. 9:58then you have to also be and behave
210. 10:02appropriately. So, the first date, the
211. 10:06first conversation, anything, you are
212. 10:09the sweetheart, right? you're in the
213. 10:12best behavior and all that and then you
214. 10:15implement these sort of rules and you
215. 10:18tell him, I'm this sort of woman who
216. 10:21likes her man to do this, this, this,
217. 10:23this. It's better to tell the things
218. 10:26before you're getting to the boat
219. 10:30together and swimming. Okay? Negotiate
220. 10:33the things before going somewhere. This
221. 10:36is the most important. You align all
222. 10:38these rules what you can do on what you
223. 10:41cannot do. You can write down for
224. 10:43example things and this is also great
225. 10:46exercise. Write down 10 characteristics
226. 10:5010 things what you
227. 10:53cannot allow man to do towards you.
228. 10:57And then you can decrease it to five
229. 11:00from this 10 and this five or you can
230. 11:04decrease it to three depends from your
231. 11:06character what you can allow what you
232. 11:08can. This is your rules and you can tell
233. 11:12him for example I will walk away if my
234. 11:15man with whom we are in exclusive
235. 11:18relationship would cheat on me. This is
236. 11:20like no and no and you'd better to speak
237. 11:24with him before getting into intimacy.
238. 11:27And this is very important because a lot
239. 11:28of girls they get into intimacy and like
240. 11:31you know the sexual relationship and
241. 11:33then they suffer the man does all these
242. 11:36things and he would say well we didn't
243. 11:38discuss that right we didn't have this
244. 11:39deal so why are you upset so you need to
245. 11:44tell him before you're getting there
246. 11:47what you're okay with and what you're
247. 11:49not okay with. Okay. So this is very
248. 11:51important thing. It's also will help you
249. 11:53to keep your boundaries safe and also
250. 11:57respect yourself and also it builds your
251. 11:59self-confidence. So good luck. If you
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