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HOW TO GET TO KNOW YOURSELF | WHO ARE YOU? | HOW TO ALIGN WITH YOUR ACTUAL SELF / BEST SELF — Transcript

by Deandra K · 5,673 words · 782 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00You have been looking for a way to
0:01connect with yourself, find yourself,
0:03discover what you like, so you can
0:04really know yourself at a fundamental
0:06level, but you do not know how. Today's
0:09video is going to tell you exactly how
0:10to do that.
0:12[Music]
0:16Hi guys, and welcome back to my channel.
0:18Take a seat. I don't know if you guys
0:20have noticed, but I'm doing something a
0:21little bit differently. I have a mic,
0:23and I'm hoping that the audio quality is
0:25going to come out good. But today, I
0:26just want to talk to you about something
0:28that someone actually came and asked me
0:30about recently, and it was something
0:32that just needed to be shared. I think a
0:34lot of people go through life and they
0:36don't actually know who they are. And
0:38because they don't actually know who
0:39they are, they're not able to maybe feel
0:41independent on their own outside of
0:43relationships. Maybe they're trying to
0:45structure what they want in life as far
0:47as what direction to go. And that starts
0:48with having a fundamental understanding
0:50of who you are. Not only does knowing
0:52who you really are help you with your
0:54confidence, but it helps you with
0:55alignment. It helps you feeling like you
0:57can do anything in this life. So,
0:59knowing who you are is very important.
1:01And I'm going to be the one to tell you
1:02almost exactly how to get there. Now, if
1:04you guys have watched any of my videos,
1:05you understand that I totally am here
1:08for the physical glow up. I'm here for
1:09what items you need to purchase, the
1:11techniques, and everything. But also,
1:13understanding the mindset behind a lot
1:15of this is actually going to be what
1:17propels you physically into the places
1:19and spaces that you want to be. Finding
1:21who you are is not going to be this
1:23discovery of something new that never
1:25existed. It's really returning to who
1:26you've always been, but it's being able
1:28to see it for the first time with a
1:30fresh lens. So, I'm going to give you
1:31tangible steps on how we're going to get
1:33there. Let's dive into it. The first
1:34thing that you're going to do when you
1:36are actually trying to find yourself and
1:37discover who you are is you need to
1:39remove yourself from the influence of
1:41others. What does this mean? So, as
1:43we're growing up, we are children. We
1:45have independent thought and then as we
1:47grow whether it is from our classmates,
1:50our parents, mentors in our life, we
1:52start to be essentially indoctrinated
1:55with thoughts and ideas and feelings and
1:57some of these are great because it's how
1:58we learn how to be good humans. But then
2:00some of these are actually restricting
2:01and you grow up thinking that you have
2:03to be a certain way when in your heart
2:05that's not actually who you are. So you
2:07live your whole life if you never do the
2:09self-discovery thinking that you are a
2:11version of yourself that actually isn't
2:12even you. So a lot of how we perceive
2:15ourselves is actually in tandem with
2:17somebody. So how you perceive yourself
2:19is a reflection of who you are as the
2:21daughter to your parents. Who you are as
2:23the girlfriend to your boyfriend. Who
2:25you are as the sister or brother to your
2:28sibling. And because of that, that is
2:30not actually an independent view of
2:32yourself. That is a view in tandem with
2:34someone else. So that is who you are in
2:36relation to somebody else. And a lot of
2:39people don't know this. And so because
2:40they don't know this, they grow up and
2:42they leave these lives thinking this is
2:44who I am because these people. Because I
2:47felt small with my parents, because I
2:50had to be the strong older sibling,
2:52because I was the younger sibling that
2:53got teased, because I have to be the
2:55good girlfriend to my boyfriend, because
2:57my boyfriend likes this. Because my
2:59husband likes this. That is who you are
3:00in relation to your person. And this is
3:02not necessarily a negative thing. It's
3:04just the reality of it. So if you never
3:06take the time to actually self-discover,
3:08you are going to live your life in the
3:10mirror of the people around you. So the
3:12first thing that you're going to do is
3:13you're going to recognize that because
3:15you are able to really know yourself and
3:17understand yourself in relationships if
3:19you take the initiative to
3:20self-discover. But a lot of people
3:22can't. And so I will say like even for
3:24me, I was in a relationship for four
3:26years throughout college. the literal
3:28time in your life when you need to
3:30self-discover almost the most because
3:32you're going from what you are
3:33considered a child or just barely legal
3:36to, you know, your early 20s. And in
3:38that time, I was in a relationship. So,
3:40who Deandra was at that time was who
3:43Deandra was in a relationship with this
3:45person that she thought she was going to
3:46be with at that time. And the best thing
3:48that ever happened to me was actually
3:50leaving that relationship. And the fear
3:51and the scaredness and the confusion
3:54that I felt because in that fear and
3:56that confusion is actually where I
3:58started to question myself and started
3:59to dig a little bit deeper to understand
4:02who am I? What do I want? Where do I
4:04want to go? Why was I this person in
4:06this relationship? Who do I want to be
4:07after? And this does not mean a
4:08relationship is unhealthy. It does not
4:10mean a relationship is necessarily going
4:12to hold you back because as I said
4:13before, you can definitely discover
4:15yourself in relationships. But sometimes
4:18it's not until we lose that thing that
4:20has been distracting us for so long
4:22before we're actually able to look at
4:23ourselves and say, "Who are we?" And
4:25this leads me to my second point, which
4:27is you need to start questioning
4:29yourself. If you are new to being single
4:32or if you are new on this self-discovery
4:34journey, the first thing and what I
4:36think every human should be doing is
4:38asking questions. If you have done
4:40something a certain way your entire
4:42life, you have to ask yourself, why have
4:43I done this my entire life? If you like
4:46something, you need to be asking
4:47yourself, why do you like this thing? If
4:49you don't like something, ask yourself,
4:51why don't I like these things?
4:54Discovering who you are is going to take
4:55a level of intelligence and
4:57self-discovery that most people don't
4:59have, which is why you guys are here,
5:01because I feel like you are part of the
5:03top 10% of people who actually want to
5:05look inside themselves and who like my
5:07videos. You can, you're an intelligent
5:09person. You're an intelligent person
5:10because you like my videos. You are
5:12someone who is awake because you like my
5:14videos. My videos do not resonate with
5:16people who can't understand what I'm
5:19saying. My videos do not resonate with
5:21people who aren't ready to ask
5:22themselves the hard questions and face
5:24themselves in the mirror. It just it
5:25doesn't align. That's fine. So, you need
5:27to start questioning yourself. You need
5:29to ask yourself why you are the way you
5:32are. And through asking yourself
5:34questions and pulling things out of
5:36yourself, that is where the answers are
5:37going to start coming up. And it does
5:39not come up all at once. through finding
5:41yourself and knowing yourself. This is
5:43not a one day thing where you go and you
5:44write down a bunch of questions, you're
5:45like, "Well, that's it." It is trial and
5:48error and repeated questions and and
5:50digging deep into yourself because we
5:52should have been doing this from when we
5:54were young, but a lot of us don't even
5:56know how to be actual humans. A lot of
5:58us don't know what it is like to be calm
6:01and to have safe nervous systems and to
6:04just be who we are because we live in a
6:06society and that society shapes the way
6:08we think and we feel. So there are
6:11people who are makers in societies and
6:13people who are followers in societies
6:15and you are going to be a maker. And in
6:17order to be a maker, you can't be like
6:19everyone else. So you need to start
6:21questioning why are you doing the things
6:23that you do. If your entire life you
6:26have followed what's cool, what's
6:27trending, what your friends do, what
6:29your boyfriend likes, what your parents
6:31want you to do. Of course you're not
6:32going to know yourself because you have
6:34been following up until this point. But
6:37in order to pave a path and to really
6:39know who you are, you have to stop
6:40following and you have to deter from the
6:42path that everyone else is on. And that
6:44path is self-discovery. I also want to
6:47say that if you are someone who is maybe
6:49in their upper 20s, 30s, 40s, whatever
6:51it may be watching this video and you
6:52feel frustrated like why haven't I
6:54questioned myself or why haven't I even
6:56got to this point yet? I want to let you
6:58know that Maslo's hierarchy of needs,
7:01which if you look at it, it is like a
7:03triangle of needs that we need. In order
7:05to have any kind of spiritual or mental
7:08awakening where you feel like you are
7:10thinking on a different level, your
7:11basic needs have to be met. So, a lot of
7:14us haven't even had the time to think
7:16introspectively because we have been
7:18hungry. We have maybe not had a roof
7:21over our heads. We have not had
7:22stability. Whatever it may be in your
7:23life, your basic needs have to be met.
7:25You have to have shelter. You have to
7:27have safety. You have to have food. All
7:29of these different things, which
7:31honestly, it seems like in society so
7:32many people don't actually have these
7:34things, which is why they don't have the
7:35space and the capacity for deep
7:37thinking. So, if you're watching this
7:38video right now, even if your life is
7:40not perfect, you may be in a place where
7:42you feel safe enough to question and to
7:45think deeper. And so, as you're finding
7:47yourself, this is where these questions
7:48are going to start coming up. Why do you
7:50want to be like that? Why are things the
7:52way that they are? When you even in
7:54politics, when you vote a certain way,
7:56why are you voting a certain way?
7:58Understand why you do all these things,
7:59where they come from. Is it my parents
8:01that shaped me to be this way? Is this
8:02an independent thought I had? Is this
8:04something I thought I liked, but
8:06actually I'm doing it to fit in with my
8:07friends? Is it something that I enjoy?
8:09Or maybe I just enjoy the feeling of it
8:11afterwards, but during the moment, I
8:13don't actually like it. Is this helping
8:15me long term? Do I like the color pink?
8:18If I like the color pink, why do I like
8:19the color pink? Where where does that
8:21come from? If I like the color beige, is
8:23it because everyone else likes beige? Is
8:24it because beige is trending? Or is it
8:26because like this actually resonates
8:27with my soul? Ask yourself questions.
8:30Get deep with yourself. And talking to
8:32yourself is not woo woo. It is not
8:34crazy. It does not mean that you are
8:36mentally unstable. It It's literally the
8:38only way that you can start unraveling
8:40is talking to yourself, questioning.
8:42Question everything. I want you to
8:44question everything. I want you to
8:45question this video. Why am I watching
8:46this video right now? What is it that is
8:48inside of me right now that is calling
8:49me to discover something different?
8:52Sit on that. I also want to add
8:54something that is a little bit more from
8:56a religious perspective is in a lot of
8:58religions and I'm a Christian so
9:00specifically from a Christian point of
9:02view the Bible says for us to not live
9:04in our flesh. You don't want to live in
9:05the flesh too much. And living in the
9:07flesh means that you're doing things
9:08that feel good. You're doing things
9:10because everyone else does it. You are
9:12doing things for physical satisfaction.
9:14And so discovering yourself is never
9:16going to come from a physical
9:18satisfaction. It is going to come from a
9:20mental discipline. It is coming from a
9:22higher knowing, a higher knowledge, a
9:24different way of thinking. And so even
9:27if we look at religious text or even if
9:29we think about the way that our parents
9:31talk to us is like once you stop living
9:33for just your flesh, once you stop doing
9:37what feels good all the time just
9:38because you've always done that and you
9:40start questioning why you do the things
9:42that you do, that is where the divide
9:45between the majority and the minority of
9:47people start to come in. That is when
9:48you start to think, I really am going
9:50into a different realm right now because
9:52I'm not doing things just because they
9:54feel good or they make me happy in the
9:56moment or everyone else is doing it. You
9:58are starting to go into a different
10:00realm that is literally biblical in a
10:02lot of ways and also is going to what
10:04makes up the 1% to be honest. I I say
10:0610% because I think there's a lot of
10:08people who do think very high level and
10:10the finances don't necessarily correlate
10:12with that in my mind because there's so
10:14many people who are spiritually
10:15enlightened, disciplined, amazing and
10:17they don't have to be millionaires in
10:19order to fit into that bucket. So when I
10:21say 10% 1% I mean the small small small
10:25number of people in our society that are
10:28truly on track in alignment and on the
10:31path that they're supposed to be. Number
10:33three, and I kind of already touched on
10:34this, is go back to your childhood self.
10:36And what I mean by that is for anyone
10:39who grew up, and if you think back to
10:41when you were a kid, you did what you
10:44wanted because it brought you genuine
10:46joy because that is who you were before
10:48the world shaped you. And so when I look
10:50at my childhood, I was doing ballet, I
10:53was riding horses, I was very fun and,
10:57you know, confident and outgoing and
11:00active. I just I found so much pure joy
11:03in doing these things because it was
11:04before the world shaped me. It was
11:06before I learned what was cool and what
11:08wasn't cool. It was before, you know, my
11:10friends were doing certain things. All
11:12of these different things that
11:13essentially the world shapes you to do.
11:14I've returned to her. I genuinely, my
11:17childhood self is me. I like doing
11:21Pilates. Pilates might not be ballet,
11:23but it's still that same structure. I
11:24did gymnastics growing up. Horses bring
11:27me so much joy. And I wondered why when
11:29I saw a horse for the first time in my
11:30actual adulthood. I was like, why does
11:32this feel like home? Why does this feel
11:34aligned? It's because I've looked back
11:36into my childhood and I said, "This was
11:38what Deandra loved before the world told
11:40her what was cool and what was not." So,
11:41I want you to do the same thing. And if
11:43you are someone who came from not a
11:45great upbringing and your childhood was
11:47rough or it feels unsafe, you're going
11:50to actually do the opposite. Instead of
11:51returning to do the same things that you
11:53did in your childhood, you're going to
11:55do what brings your older self peace.
11:58What keeps that inner child safe now?
12:00So, it's not returning to what that
12:02little child did because maybe you came
12:04from abusive background or maybe you had
12:06a hard start and you didn't actually get
12:08to be that child that some other people
12:10got got to be. Now, as an adult, if you
12:13can look back and you can recognize
12:15that, you can become the safety for that
12:18child that is still in you. Cuz we all
12:19still have our childhood selves in us.
12:21Like, I don't care how old I get. I'm
12:23still a child at heart. Deander still
12:25exists. Baby Deander still exists within
12:26myself. You are going to keep that
12:28childhood version of yourself safe by
12:31the way that you live right now. So, if
12:33you are living in a way that is not
12:35actually honoring your childhood self,
12:37you need to re-evaluate the way that
12:38you're living now because you're not
12:40truly yourself. you're not truly
12:41thinking about who you are. Again,
12:43you're living in the world. My next
12:45point is going to be tapping into the
12:47arts. So, this is journaling, this is
12:50music, this is reading, this is like the
12:52different liberal arts. Someone sent me
12:53this quote and it's so profound. It is
12:56the famous Carl Jung quote said, "No
12:58tree, it is said, can grow to heaven
13:00unless its roots reach to hell." And my
13:03interpretation of that is if you want to
13:05get to where you want to be in life, if
13:07you want to discover the highest version
13:09of yourself, the first thing that you
13:11have to do is be fully rooted. And to be
13:13fully rooted, sometimes this means going
13:15into the deepest, darkest parts of
13:17yourself. This is going into your dark
13:18childhood. This is not reopening the
13:20scars constantly. That's not what I'm
13:21saying. You don't need to relive every
13:23horrible part of you. But you need to
13:26love the dark parts of you. You need to
13:28love the parts of you that you've been
13:30suppressing, the parts of you that you
13:31never acknowledge, the parts of you that
13:33you didn't even know were there. And
13:35that is going to come from these works
13:37that we're doing. Like you have to
13:38genuinely love the darkness in you. And
13:40again, I'll get vulnerable and I'll talk
13:42about myself. I have been my entire life
13:44prone to depression. I have been prone
13:46to anxiety. I have been prone to all of
13:48these feelings because I feel everything
13:52so much. I'm like the deepest lover. I
13:54think about everything super deeply,
13:56which is why I make these videos because
13:57I'm like very I I have a lot of depth
14:01into the things that I love. And because
14:02of that, there is so much darkness in
14:04Deandra. And at first, I would suppress
14:07it. And you know, I was in I had
14:08insomnia. If anyone was here for my
14:10insomnia videos, like all of these dark,
14:12deep thoughts were literally coming out
14:14in physical ailments in me. And so once
14:17I started to learn to accept and love
14:19the dark parts of me and that is part of
14:21my story. That is part of who I am. I
14:24feel so rooted and so confident in the
14:27depression, in the anxiety, in anything
14:30that has ever happened to me negatively
14:32that now I can become my best version of
14:34myself because I'm not scared of the
14:35dark parts. I'm not scared of the ugly
14:37parts of myself. I acknowledge them. I
14:39know that they're there. I'm not
14:40perfect. I'm actually quite imperfect.
14:42And because I understand those
14:44imperfections, that's why I know myself
14:45so well. That's why I can love myself so
14:47well. That's why when someone says
14:49something negative about me, they don't
14:51love the dark parts of me, but I love
14:52the dark parts of me. So, I can
14:54understand that that's not even going to
14:55hurt my feelings. That won't touch me
14:56because I know myself. And you're going
14:58to know yourself by the end of this
14:59video, too. You're going to start the
15:00journey of knowing yourself. The reason
15:02that the arts are so important is
15:03because it gets you into that deeper
15:05level of thinking. If you look at
15:06something abstract like a painting, and
15:08you're forced to sit there and think,
15:09"What meaning does this have?" You are
15:12forcing yourself to tap into the parts
15:13of your brain that you were not using
15:15often. that in this world of Tik Toks
15:17and Instagram and everything is so fast,
15:20you are pouring into a part of your
15:21brain that is complex. That that part
15:23that needs interpretation and this is
15:25only going to teach you more about
15:27yourself that you didn't even know. For
15:28example, I'm reading a book right now, a
15:30book that I love. Um, and in the book,
15:33the girl the the person in the book is
15:35me. Like she has so much going on. When
15:38I talked about this darkness, she has
15:39that same darkness. And through reading
15:41this book, which is a fantasy book, I am
15:43learning so much about myself. I'm
15:45learning about my patience to be able to
15:47pick up a book that where I can turn on
15:49the TV. I'm learning about my
15:51discipline. I'm learning about the
15:52things that I actually enjoy because I
15:54actually really enjoy reading. It has to
15:55be something I like. Yes. But I really
15:57enjoy it. I will sit up hold up in my
16:00room or in my apartment for days reading
16:03if I like something. And that's
16:04something new that you can discover
16:06about yourself, too. So, you're going to
16:08start picking up a paintbrush. you're
16:09going to start trying different things.
16:11So if it's reading, if it's reading a
16:13different kind of genre, if it's
16:14listening to different kind of music,
16:16I'm the biggest advocate for classical
16:18bosanova jazz music because it literally
16:21taps into a different part of your
16:23brain. It is not trendy to listen to
16:24that kind of stuff. It is not just
16:26because it's peaceful, which yes, that's
16:28also it. But part of self-discovery is
16:31art. You have to look at something that
16:33is different from yourself in order to
16:35see the things that are inside of you
16:37almost like a mirror. And with art, I'll
16:39throw in meditation. The reason I talk
16:41about meditation so much is you cannot
16:43know who you are if you are always
16:45listening to everything that is being
16:47put into you. If you're always being
16:49inputed, how do you understand who you
16:52are in order to output correctly? Really
16:54think about that. If you're always
16:55listening to a let's let's use music for
16:57example. If you're always listening to
16:58the kind of music that's like you're a
16:59bad bee, thick, you don't care about
17:02men, how are you ever going to form a
17:05healthy relationship if you want a
17:07husband? How are you going to form a
17:09healthy relationship with loving men,
17:11loving yourself, understanding that
17:12there are peaceful relationships out
17:13there, that you can look good and be a
17:15bad bee, but you don't have to conform
17:17to the standards of rap music or
17:20whatever is put in front of you because
17:22everything that's put in front of you is
17:24for you to buy something. It is it's
17:26marketing. Everything is to make a
17:29dollar these days. So, you have to be
17:31able to decipher what is actually
17:32growing me and what is holding me back,
17:34what's keeping me stuck. And if you
17:36don't know yourself, you will keep
17:37ingesting and you will keep believing
17:38and you will keep going towards these
17:40things, which is fine. Not everybody
17:43wants to grow. But again, you're
17:45different. And to the point of
17:46meditation and the inputs, when you stop
17:50thinking about other people's opinions,
17:52when you stop thinking about who you are
17:54in the light of somebody, either making
17:56yourself small or feeling bigger because
17:58maybe you look down upon people or you
18:00have someone who you look up to. If you
18:02stop comparing yourself in that way and
18:04you sit alone by yourself, you really
18:06have to ask yourself, who am I? What do
18:08I enjoy? What makes me unique? What
18:10makes me happy? If I could have anything
18:13in the world, what would I have? And why
18:14would I have it? This is why meditation
18:16is so great because it literally forces
18:19you to not think about anyone else. We
18:21have to remove the opinion of others out
18:24of our life in order to really think
18:25about what would I do if the opinion of
18:27others didn't matter. If my mom didn't
18:30care, if my dad didn't have an opinion,
18:31if my boyfriend wasn't going to judge
18:33me, if my friends didn't care, if the
18:34people on Instagram weren't weren't
18:37judging me, what would I do and how
18:38would I show up? For me, I'm a very
18:40quirky person. I'm hilarious. I'm I'm
18:45just different. I'm like unique. I'm not
18:47the typical girl who like has a shy
18:50personality. I'm just I'm corny. I'm so
18:52corny. I'm so freaking corny. If you
18:55watch my videos, maybe you can see it
18:56come through a little bit. I'm
18:57different. And it took me removing the
19:00opinion of others to really say like who
19:03who am I? I grew up in Bar Harbor,
19:05Maine. I grew up in Nigeria. I grew up
19:06in Texas. Like I grew up in so many
19:08different places that no culture is
19:10stuck to me. I have my Nigerian culture.
19:12I have the culture of living on the east
19:14coast. I have so many different things
19:16in me that nothing pulls me in a
19:18different direction. Meaning that I'm
19:20this weird hybrid of an individual. I
19:22like to learn. I love public speaking. I
19:25love to make people laugh. And maybe
19:26that's not cool to some people, but
19:29that's who I am. And that's why I feel
19:31so confident because I genuinely know
19:33who I am. And I can be like, "Yes, I'm
19:34corny. Yes, I'm unique. Yes, I love to
19:38pour into people." And that's not weird
19:39to me. That is not doing too much.
19:41That's not the culture of, "Oh, you're
19:42doing too much. You're too invested. No
19:44one owes you anything." After a certain
19:46point, people do owe you something. It's
19:47respect. It's human nature. We need to
19:49look out for each other. We need to
19:50learn from each other. We need to love
19:52each other. We need to stop having this
19:53mentality that no one owes you anything,
19:55which they don't in a sense because you
19:58shouldn't rely on someone giving you
20:00something in order to go somewhere. But
20:02at the same time, we're human. We're
20:05just humans. Anyway, I think I I got off
20:06my point there for a second. But I say
20:08all that to really say that I just this
20:10is going to take a lot of
20:11self-reflection. This is going to take a
20:12lot of time alone and not forcing the
20:16time alone, enjoying the time alone,
20:18enjoying that time to sit.
20:22I remember when I first started
20:23meditating and the only way that they
20:25said that we could self-discover was for
20:26being from being quiet. I was so mad. I
20:29was pissed cuz I'm like, I'm quiet all
20:31the time. I'm quiet when I'm standing in
20:33line. I'm quiet when I'm laying in bed
20:34sleeping. I'm quiet when I'm But no, you
20:36need to be quiet. You need to sit down.
20:38You need to think. You need to question
20:40yourself. You need to try different
20:42things. Which actually brings me to my
20:44next point, which is push yourself. The
20:46next point is pushing yourself. Pushing
20:48yourself to do different things. pushing
20:50yourself to do hard things, pushing
20:52yourself to do things that you
20:53previously disliked. And this is why you
20:55need to push yourself to do different
20:57things because as we grow as people, so
21:00does our pallets. Our pallets change
21:02literally physically and mentally. So
21:03like our taste buds change. As we grow,
21:06when we're kids, we don't like broccoli,
21:07we don't like Brussels sprouts, but when
21:09we get older, we can pallet those
21:10things. We can eat those things and we
21:12quite enjoy them. So, if you're someone
21:14who has held on to the likes and
21:16dislikes of things that you had when you
21:18were literally in high school or college
21:20to this point, you need to start pushing
21:22yourself to try different things. So, if
21:24you never liked seafood, try seafood
21:26again. If you never liked painting, try
21:29painting. If you find uh watching a
21:32certain kind of genre of movies boring,
21:34watch that genre of movies and question
21:36yourself, why do I find this boring? Why
21:37is this not stimulating for me? Why
21:39don't I like this? You need to push
21:40yourself to do different things and put
21:42yourself in different spaces because
21:44that is the only way you can confidently
21:46say yes, this is aligned with me or no,
21:48this is not aligned with me. And if you
21:50already know that definitively, great.
21:52But if you don't, you need to push
21:53yourself. You need to get a little bit
21:55uncomfortable. You need to try new
21:56things. When it comes to trying new
21:58things, try different makeup. Try a
22:00different hair color. Try try different
22:04clothes. I know some people who are
22:06dressing the same way that they did in
22:07high school. Now, try a different style.
22:10Try something that's a bit more
22:11flattering for you. Try something that's
22:12a bit more eccentric. Try something
22:14that's a bit more whatever it might be.
22:16Try something different because the only
22:18way that we know what we like, what we
22:19don't like, and what is definitively us
22:21is by trying different things. And I can
22:23say that confidently as someone who has
22:25tried a variety of different things.
22:26I've tried different makeup looks. I've
22:28tried different states to live in. I've
22:29lived in so many different states. I've
22:31lived internationally. I've tried all
22:32these things. And because I know that, I
22:34now know exactly where I want to go.
22:36Lastly, with all this information, I
22:38know it's a lot, okay? It's I hope it's
22:40not too much because you guys are smart.
22:42It's not too much. It's never too much.
22:43Watch this on repeat if you need to
22:45watch it on repeat. But the next thing
22:46that you're going to do, and that I
22:48think is again is so good, is you need
22:50to visualize this in some way. You need
22:51to create kind of some kind of
22:53structure. You need to have some kind of
22:55notation of these things that you're
22:56learning about yourself so that you can
22:58reflect. Create a Pinterest board. I
23:00think a Pinterest board is the quickest
23:02way to start putting visualizations of
23:04the things that you like that you don't
23:06like into something physical. Journal.
23:09You need to have a physical
23:10manifestation of something that is going
23:12to help you to really understand
23:14yourself. So, write down your likes,
23:15your dislikes, things that you won't do,
23:17your boundaries, why you have those
23:18boundaries. If you want to have a
23:20certain dream life, start putting that
23:22on Pinterest. Start start saying, "These
23:25are the things I think I really like.
23:26Actually, I think that I like this
23:27color. I think that I would love to live
23:29here and start putting that down. Cuz if
23:31you're somewhere right now that is in
23:33alignment with the old version of
23:34yourself that didn't know yourself, now
23:36is time to create this new version. And
23:38we only can create this new version if
23:40we put something out into this world.
23:42You can't do all this mental work and
23:44then not let the physical follow. So if
23:46you're starting to understand, I like
23:48this thing, I don't like this thing, and
23:50you decide to keep living in the thing
23:52that you don't like, I always bring up
23:53this point, but I'll use maybe like
23:54clubbing culture. If you have felt that
23:57you have outgrown clubbing culture for
23:58whatever personal reasons, but you still
24:00go to the club because that's where all
24:02of your friends go, you are going to
24:04stay the same forever. You're not going
24:06to really discover yourself. But if you
24:07want to try something different and
24:09instead you want to start going to more
24:10hotel lounges or you want to do
24:12something a little bit more calming
24:14because it gives you the ability to
24:15actually communicate with people and
24:17it's not loud and it's not an
24:18environment that you feel like brings
24:20you down for whatever reason, whatever
24:21it may be. You won't know how you are
24:24going to change and actually become in
24:26alignment with yourself until you start
24:27doing more of those things and saying no
24:29to the things that you previously did.
24:31So as my last final word to you, you can
24:34do all this work. You can try to
24:36discover yourself, but in still until
24:38you actually start taking the steps,
24:40nothing is going to change. I know
24:42you're capable of finding yourself the
24:44way that I found myself and I continue
24:45to find myself because it is a
24:47continuous work. If you guys have any
24:49questions or any ideas for future videos
24:51that you would like to see, always let
24:53me know in the comments. Let me know
24:54your feedback on this video. And also,
24:56as I said, I am going to start taking
24:58one-on-one coaching clients. So, if that
24:59is something that you guys are
25:00interested, DM me on Instagram because I
25:02am going to start ramping up my program
25:04so that I can actually chat with you
25:06guys one- on- one. But, I am so grateful
25:08that you are here and I will see you
25:11guys in the next video. Mwah.
25:14[Music]

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