How to get over a best friend breakup — Transcript

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1. 0:00why is it that the only type of breakups
2. 0:01that we talk about are the romantic ones
3. 0:04when the breakups with friends can hurt
4. 0:06just as
5. 0:07bad I think it's because we lose our
6. 0:11person that we told everything to the
7. 0:13person closest to us so we end up just
8. 0:16keeping it
9. 0:18inside but today we're going to talk
10. 0:21about it hi my name is Joey and on this
11. 0:24channel we discuss the things that we
12. 0:26all face but are a little bit too
13. 0:28uncomfortable to talk about so subscribe
14. 0:30become a part of the family and I
15. 0:32encourage you to leave a comment below
16. 0:34explaining your thoughts and feelings on
17. 0:35this topic so if you are going through a
18. 0:37breakup with a friend you feel alone
19. 0:40because the person that you once went to
20. 0:42with everything is now gone it can feel
21. 0:45like you're trapped in a room with no
22. 0:47signs of light to get out it can feel
23. 0:49like your world is ending you can feel
24. 0:51guilty you can feel sick to your stomach
25. 0:53and if you're wondering why I know these
26. 0:55feelings it's because I've had a friend
27. 0:57break up too my best friend moved away 5
28. 1:00years ago and it took me until this year
29. 1:01to process how bad it actually hurts now
30. 1:03not all friend breakups look the same
31. 1:05they come in three different forms one
32. 1:08the breakup two ghosting and three
33. 1:10growing apart and in my case is a little
34. 1:12bit of all three I was so bottled up
35. 1:14with my emotions that I just let my
36. 1:16friend leave and I did it because I
37. 1:17thought it was what was best for him but
38. 1:20now I realized that there was so many
39. 1:22things left unsa it started off just
40. 1:24growing apart then it felt like a
41. 1:25breakup and then it eventually got to
42. 1:27ghosting because we stopped talking to
43. 1:29each other and I'll be honest it just
44. 1:30really hurt it was easier just to try
45. 1:32and forget about it and say well that's
46. 1:35life than it was to acknowledge it but
47. 1:37that as I do the things that I used to
48. 1:38do with him I noticed how much I miss
49. 1:41him by my side he helped me be more
50. 1:42outgoing and talk to new people because
51. 1:44he was a person that could talk to a
52. 1:46stranger about a light bulb he was the
53. 1:48one that I went out on the town with and
54. 1:50now I don't do that anymore it's not
55. 1:52because I have no
56. 1:53interest it's because I have no interest
57. 1:56because he's not there however even
58. 1:58though this really hurt and it hurt more
59. 2:01even over
60. 2:03time time is what we really needed in
61. 2:06order for a friendship to reconnect so
62. 2:08now let me go back and break down and
63. 2:10explain the three types of breakups with
64. 2:12a friend one the breakup this is that
65. 2:15big fight that big falling out and
66. 2:16things are said that maybe shouldn't
67. 2:17have been said two ghosting your friend
68. 2:20just stops talking to you they replace
69. 2:22you with a new life new people and they
70. 2:24ignore your messages and when they do
71. 2:25reply it's onewed three growing apart
72. 2:29this is the most natural form of breakup
73. 2:31it is like when you get out of high
74. 2:32school and you go to different colleges
75. 2:34and then you get new jobs and you have
76. 2:35to move to New cities and new States and
77. 2:37new countries you get a new partner and
78. 2:39life changes it's natural however all of
79. 2:42these breakups can hurt in their own way
80. 2:44but you you are watching this because
81. 2:46you're hurting right now and I hate to
82. 2:47add to this cliche but I think you need
83. 2:50to give this breakup the time that it
84. 2:52needs I know you want to fix it right
85. 2:54away because I know it can hurt so badly
86. 2:56but that's where you have to ask
87. 2:57yourself this question are you Hur
88. 3:00because you feel bad or because you want
89. 3:02them as a friend we can sometimes
90. 3:04manipulate ourselves or even worse our
91. 3:07friends can manipulate us they can make
92. 3:09us feeling guilty for wanting change in
93. 3:11our lives maybe you asked them to change
94. 3:13their lifestyle because it was affecting
95. 3:14yours in a negative way and maybe they
96. 3:16didn't take that very well but I want
97. 3:17you to know that's a very strong thing
98. 3:19if you've done that and maybe the way
99. 3:20that they reacted is a sign of them
100. 3:22being defensive because they know they
101. 3:25really need that change or maybe they
102. 3:26did something awful to you or maybe they
103. 3:28moved away or changed School or went to
104. 3:30a different college or maybe it isn't
105. 3:32even
106. 3:33hurtful and you're just sad that your
107. 3:36best friend isn't in your life
108. 3:37anymore that's okay but let's talk about
109. 3:40how we can fix this and when I say this
110. 3:41I don't mean your friendship I mean you
111. 3:45how can we fix this feeling that you are
112. 3:47in because even though you want to fix
113. 3:49this friendship half of the Friendship
114. 3:51is you and if you're not in a place
115. 3:53where you feel strong where you feel at
116. 3:55ease or where you feel yourself then the
117. 3:58friendship that you were trying to
118. 3:59rekindle will never be true so you let's
119. 4:02talk about you you are spending all of
120. 4:03your energy thinking about how they feel
121. 4:06but have you ever spent any time asking
122. 4:08yourself how you feel not how you feel
123. 4:10about them but how you feel about the
124. 4:12friendship and how you were feeling
125. 4:14during this experience of a breakup it
126. 4:16seems cringy and simple but you cannot
127. 4:18skip this step and following this
128. 4:20response ask yourself how can you make
129. 4:23you feel better now obviously I don't
130. 4:25know who is watching this hi I'm Joey I
131. 4:27don't know you but I do know that we
132. 4:29share the same feelings so here are the
133. 4:31things that helped me survive my friend
134. 4:34breakup one I acknowledge how I felt
135. 4:36about my actions as I said earlier I
136. 4:38felt pretty garbage because he left with
137. 4:40things unsaid on my part so what I did
138. 4:42is I wrote them down and what I did is I
139. 4:44brought it out in a text after some time
140. 4:47and I allowed things to cool down and I
141. 4:49waited for the right moment and and
142. 4:50really helped us both come to terms that
143. 4:52we didn't really mean to hurt each
144. 4:54other it hurts both and we just didn't
145. 4:57know how to react two I surrounded
146. 4:59myself with positive people no this is
147. 5:02not a replacement step it's about
148. 5:04environment I joined a run club and I
149. 5:05surrounded myself with like-minded
150. 5:07people that helped me think a little bit
151. 5:09more positively and a little B more
152. 5:11clear if all I did was sit in my bedroom
153. 5:13being sad thinking about losing my best
154. 5:15friend then all I would be doing is
155. 5:16sitting in my bedroom feeling sad
156. 5:18thinking about my best friend they may
157. 5:20be
158. 5:21lost but you aren't three I accepted it
159. 5:24the hardest step of them all but when I
160. 5:26acknowledged my feelings and when I got
161. 5:28out of my depressive thought bubble and
162. 5:31when I took a step back and I realized
163. 5:33that life isn't about looking through
164. 5:35this one-sided scope it's about looking
165. 5:37through both ones of the binoculars and
166. 5:39I was able to see life in a little bit
167. 5:40bigger of a picture yes it hurt that
168. 5:42they aren't in my life anymore but they
169. 5:43were in my life for the time that they
170. 5:45needed to be they helped me they brought
171. 5:47me joy and they were by my side during
172. 5:49times of need and life well it's so much
173. 5:52more than this moment we can spend all
174. 5:54of our time looking at this moment
175. 5:56negatively but friends aren't meant to
176. 5:58stay forever but the moments that we
177. 5:59share with them are how we helped each
178. 6:01other build up confidence how we cried
179. 6:03together after one of us got dumped and
180. 6:05how we partied a little bit too hard to
181. 6:07cope this friendship may be gone but
182. 6:09what this friendship taught you will
183. 6:10never leave your life if this message
184. 6:12helped you please leave a like And
185. 6:15subscribe and before you go I have one
186. 6:17last piece of advice a true friendship
187. 6:19doesn't have timeline it's not the daily
188. 6:21conversations or the need of
189. 6:23togetherness a true friendship can
190. 6:26always be rekindled in the future thank
191. 6:29you very much for watching and I'll see
192. 6:31you next time stay you Jay