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How To Exit Survival Mode & Cure Anhedonia (Episode 66) — Transcript

by Leo Skepi · 10,369 words · 1,532 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00I had to make notes for this one. I'm
0:02reviewing them really quick. I'm
0:02preparing for my clients.
0:05No, really this episode is not a cute
0:07light-hearted little funny thing. Like
0:09this is actually going to change your
0:10life if you deal with feeling stuck in
0:12survival mode and feeling hopeless. And
0:15I'm not talking like a cute little like,
0:16oh, I'm just hopeless about this one
0:17little thing. I'm talking about hopeless
0:19where you feel like nothing ever works
0:21out for you, nothing goes right, no
0:24one's trustworthy, God hates you, God
0:27has like a little vendetta against you
0:29or just everything that can go wrong
0:31will go wrong, and feeling very
0:33prevented in life. That type of hopeless
0:35where you ready to beat your head
0:36against the wall. This is what I just
0:38flipped. My soul roundhouse kicked me,
0:40body bagged me, and told me sit down and
0:42shut up learn something. So, [laughter]
0:45I'm going to tell you the new awareness
0:46that I got. And I was about to say and
0:48hopefully I can flip it for you, too,
0:50but it's going to, okay? So, let's do
0:52this. So, the thing that got me stuck in
0:54survival mode for a hot minute
0:56and started to like drive me absolutely
0:58insane is feeling like life is unfair.
1:03You've been betrayed, [ __ ] over, it
1:05feels like your heart doesn't matter,
1:07like it doesn't matter how good of
1:08intentions that you have and how good
1:09you help people, you're just left on
1:11your own. You nothing goes right for
1:13you. Everything seems unfair. And it's
1:16like this hatred and rage and feeling
1:18prevented by some higher power. It's
1:21like I've had this relationship with God
1:23back and forth, back and forth, back and
1:24forth. I feel like you love me, I feel
1:25like you hate me. What did I do? What
1:27did I piss you off? Apparently, cuz look
1:29at my life. Look at what you're doing to
1:30me. With that level of unfairness that
1:32you perceive in life, it leaves you
1:34feeling stuck in anger and absolute
1:37depression hopelessness. Like you're
1:39nothing but back and forth. The thing
1:41that'll kick you into survival mode with
1:42life kind of feeling like that is you
1:44feel like it's all up to you. You have
1:46to do it all, you have to handle it all,
1:48and if you try and rely on somebody,
1:50good luck, it's going to go to [ __ ]
1:52Even things in your control just seem
1:54like sabotaged, weirdly. Like if
1:56something could go wrong, go it's wrong.
1:57I fully relate to that experience at a
2:00level I've never heard anybody else
2:02describe. So, the thing with getting
2:04kicked into hyper-vigilance mode, like
2:06when you're activated in fight or flight
2:07mode, right? Survival mode. You're
2:09biologically wired to survive. When you
2:11see a threat, your body reacts to handle
2:13it. Your mind gets caught in
2:15hyper-vigilance mode when you feel alone
2:17in this life, when you feel like no one
2:19can help you, no one is trustworthy,
2:21nothing can go right for you, and then
2:23you have that thought about God of like,
2:25you got your foot on my neck. When you
2:27feel like you're at odds with a higher
2:28power, that is when you're stuck in
2:30hyper-vigilance mode. You feel like
2:32you're up against a like a what do you
2:34call an opponent that you can't beat
2:36because for me personally, this is hell
2:39for me
2:40on Earth is to be who I am, how I am, as
2:44physically strong as I am, as violent as
2:46I am, as smart as I am, street smart,
2:48book smart, I can figure out anything. I
2:50can find a way around anything. And when
2:53I feel like I can't figure things out,
2:55it makes me so angry. And I feel like
2:58with God, I've been like against an
2:59opponent that I can't win against
3:02because it's like every time you turn
3:04around, when you're in hyper-vigilance
3:05mode, it's always a problem, it's always
3:07a threat, it's always an issue. And
3:09that's all you can see when you're stuck
3:11in hyper-vigilance mode. You're
3:12constantly just scanning for threats.
3:14When you're activated into fight or
3:15flight mode, hyper-vigilant, that's you
3:17that kicks on. You're ready to see
3:19what's going to go wrong, you're
3:20predicting things that can go wrong. You
3:22get stuck in it, and all you start to
3:24see is issues. You lose the ability to
3:26see anything good. So, to make this
3:28sound real stupid, dumb, and like, okay,
3:30I understand that. I started thinking,
3:32how is it that you experience things as
3:35a person? Like, how does a person or a
3:37human being experience something?
3:40You have to have your awareness on it to
3:42experience it. Cuz things happen all the
3:45time everywhere that you are not aware
3:48of. Other people are experiencing them
3:50because their attention is on them.
3:52Things are happening non-stop that you
3:54can't see and do not know are happening.
3:56So, your awareness has to be on
3:59something for you to experience it. Is
4:02the first way it kind of clicked me in
4:03the head. I was like, "Wait a second.
4:04Wait." Cuz everybody says, "Your
4:06thoughts create your reality." That's
4:08true.
4:09But, what your awareness is on is what
4:11you experience because the thing that's
4:14flipped in your head when you're in
4:15hyper-vigilance mode is you are reacting
4:17to the external reality. You are not
4:20feeling in control of [ __ ] You are
4:22doing nothing but reacting to what is
4:25happening in your life. Problems that
4:26come up, inconveniences, this, that, and
4:28the third. You know what I'm talking
4:29about. And it's not as simple as like,
4:30"Oh, your thoughts create your reality.
4:32Like, think of a billion dollars and
4:34it'll just float up your ass." That's
4:35not how it works. But, this is this is
4:38how we come like full circle around back
4:40to that point where it makes sense.
4:41>> [laughter]
4:42>> Cuz your awareness has to be on things
4:44to experience them. Hyper-vigilance mode
4:47sticks you only into threats. All you
4:49see is threats. All you see is problems.
4:51And you are not able to see anything
4:53else.
4:54So, your awareness can't be placed on
4:57good.
4:58Therefore, you see no good. You perceive
5:01no good. And you do not experience any
5:03good. So, after realizing that, I'm
5:05like, "Okay,
5:06I am reacting to the external non-stop.
5:10I want to get back to a point where I
5:12control how I feel no matter what's
5:14happening." Cuz you could be happy as a
5:16pig in [ __ ] if you just have the right
5:19perspective during a situation. Like,
5:21there's so many times I would you could
5:23put me in a padded room and I would have
5:24a blast. I would make light of
5:26something. I would have fun cuz I can
5:27control my thoughts. When you're in
5:29hyper-vigilance mode, you feel like you
5:31cannot control your thoughts at all.
5:33This was a hard pill to swallow because
5:36as valid as how I've been feeling is, I
5:39have actually been experiencing the
5:42truth of what my awareness has been on.
5:44Nothing but problems, headache,
5:45betrayal, and [ __ ]
5:47And that is all valid.
5:48But,
5:49because I was trapped in survival mode,
5:51I couldn't see the good. It doesn't mean
5:53good was not happening.
5:54It doesn't mean good things were not
5:56happening for me while I haven't seen
5:58them. Like I said, things happen that
6:00you don't see and aren't aware of. But,
6:02it's not as cute as like, "Oh, okay. I'm
6:04just going to start seeing the good and
6:06see how things are going good for me."
6:07Because when you're stuck in fight or
6:09flight mode and you're caught in
6:10hyper-vigilance,
6:12you are in a vibrational contradiction
6:15to positive. You are stuck in a place
6:18where you're scanning for threats.
6:19That's hyper-vigilance, being in
6:21survival mode. Being grateful and being
6:23in a place of gratitude is such a
6:25vibrational contradiction, you cannot
6:27get there. You can't close that gap
6:29because you're stuck. You're reacting to
6:32your reality. You are not the one
6:34controlling where your thoughts are
6:35going. You're facing threats. You're
6:37seeing if there's lions and tigers and
6:38bears and things trying to attack you
6:40and kill you.
6:41That's survival mode. So, it's weird how
6:44the body can like fully
6:46lock you in hell.
6:48>> [laughter]
6:49>> The only way to unlock that prison door
6:52is to feel safe.
6:53And
6:55when you're stuck in survival mode, you
6:57your brain starts to get an identity
6:59formed where things go wrong for me.
7:01Things go bad for me. And that's all you
7:04see and that's all you experience and
7:05you're stuck reacting. So, it just
7:07further compounds itself in this cycle.
7:09But, safety is the one thing
7:11that allows you to flip it and get back
7:14into being able to see good. Like you
7:17have to unhook that vibration at the
7:19bottom of hell that you're stuck to of
7:21hyper-vigilance mode and come back up.
7:23The tricky thing about being in survival
7:26mode, you can be reactivated into it at
7:28all times. The like if you don't feel a
7:30sense of safety at all,
7:33and we're going to get into a lot of
7:35more with this and like how to recognize
7:37it and flip it and all that. But, if you
7:39can't feel safe, you are stuck in that.
7:42You're not able to come out of that
7:44lower vibration. You're going to keep
7:46attracting and manifesting more and more
7:47[ __ ] that aligns with that with the
7:49identity that you've created. But I want
7:51to talk about things that can activate
7:53you, that keep you stuck in survival
7:55mode so you don't feel so crazy. You
7:57feel like you understand why your
7:58brain's doing what you're doing, why
7:59you're feeling what you're feeling.
7:59Okay, I promise you're not nuts. Okay,
8:01so the first thing that activates me a
8:03lot when I'm stuck in survival mode and
8:05like puts me back into fight or flight
8:06mode Doomsday is any inconvenience. When
8:10you're stuck in hypervigilance mode, any
8:13amount of normal friction in life will
8:15activate you as if it's a personal
8:17attack. Nothing is just an a
8:19coincidence. Everything is an
8:22intentional
8:24attack against you. And you see every
8:26single thing as more proof of you're
8:28unsafe and you need to handle more and
8:31do more and protect yourself more. So
8:33it's like a vicious little
8:35cycle and trap. But with inconveniences
8:38that happen like normal friction in
8:39life, I'm talking if it rains outside. I
8:42would get to a point where I'm like, "Of
8:44course. Of course it [ __ ] rains right
8:46now." And I would take it as like a
8:47personal thing. Also with traffic. Like
8:49at certain times of the day there's more
8:51traffic than others. I would get so
8:53irritated in traffic because I thought
8:55it was a personal attack. Like your
8:57brain warps when you're stuck in
8:59survival mode too long and no
9:01inconvenience is a coincidence. It's all
9:04a personal attack on you. It's all more
9:06proof of how things are just bad and
9:08wrong for you. I get it.
9:11But literally daily life, experiencing
9:13normal little friction and normal
9:14inconveniences and problems that happen
9:16in life, it's not just little things.
9:18Everything gets really big.
9:20Also with that, another activation is
9:23when things go
9:24right or go good. It's like if a problem
9:26comes up. Like today, before I recorded
9:28this episode, I'm still healing myself
9:31and getting myself like to see all of
9:32this very different. Before I start
9:34recording, I was was "I'm freezing
9:35cold." And last night it stormed, so I'm
9:38like, outside it's not hot. It's a
9:40little chilly outside. I'm freezing. So,
9:42I'm like, I'm going to go literally run
9:44a bath. I usually only take a bath cuz I
9:47don't fit in most tubs. I only usually
9:49take a bath when I want to feel like
9:51comforted or warm up really quick. I
9:52don't got no sauna in the house. So, I
9:55run a full bathtub. All right? I go to
9:57put my foot in there. Freezing ice cold
10:00the water is. I was like, oh Jesus
10:01Christ.
10:02What?
10:03So, I'm I'm a I start to panic and my
10:06brain starts to doomsday and go 10 steps
10:08ahead into negative of
10:10the power went out last night.
10:13My water tank My water heater system
10:15blew up. Something's wrong with it. It's
10:17about to cost me XYZ amount of dollars.
10:19I'm about to have all these different
10:21plumbers and electricians and all these
10:22people trying to come to my house and
10:23fix it. I'm not going to have hot water
10:25for a while. I'm going to have to go to
10:26my sister's to shower every day. So
10:28inconvenient. I started going down this
10:31whole spiral of how being in survival
10:33mode and hypervigilance mode goes. The
10:35other kicker on top of all this is both
10:38of my cars need service at the same
10:40time.
10:41So, that's fun.
10:43>> [laughter]
10:43>> So, I go climbing my ass right up in the
10:45attic cuz I'm like, I'm going to go
10:46figure out what's wrong with my water
10:48tank. Come to find out I don't got a
10:50water tank.
10:51It's a tankless one.
10:53So, it's gas. So, I start Googling how
10:55to figure it out. I find the damn thing.
10:57I'm worried I'm going to fall through my
10:58ceiling, but I'm up there. I find it.
11:00Okay. And I brought a phone charger with
11:02me so I could check the outlet. So, I
11:04plug my phone in to the outlet. Like, I
11:06plug the charger in. My phone don't
11:08work. So, I'm like, okay, it's an outlet
11:09issue. Like, it's the plug. It's a power
11:11issue. All the other lights All the
11:12electricity works in my house, but for
11:14whatever reason something must've got
11:16tripped with the water heater. I almost
11:18said tank again. I don't got no tank.
11:20Tankless over here.
11:22But then I go running downstairs
11:24and I go to the breaker in my house. I
11:26flip the breaker. Make sure everything's
11:28on. And then the water starts getting
11:30hot.
11:31But the funny thing is
11:33I didn't need to go get a bath no more
11:35because running up and down up and down
11:37up and down from the garage to my attic.
11:39>> [laughter]
11:40>> I got hot.
11:42So I warmed myself up. I was fine. I was
11:44ready. Here I am in front of the camera.
11:45But it took intentional effort to check
11:47myself from dooms daying about it 25
11:50steps ahead into negative before I just
11:52even went and looked at the issue. So I
11:54looked at it, checked it out. But I also
11:56noticed
11:57after
11:59I got done with everything and I got it
12:01all situated. It went better than I
12:02thought. I didn't feel a sense of happy.
12:05Like oh yay. I felt a sense of relief
12:08because I'm like, okay, I skated away
12:10from an inconvenience without having
12:13to put too much into it and having to be
12:16too drained by it. Like when good things
12:19happen after you've been stuck in
12:20survival mode too long, you don't see it
12:23as
12:24things go good for me. Things go right
12:26for me. This is fine.
12:28You perceived a threat. You activated.
12:30You got ready to handle it. It went
12:32easier than you thought and it's just a
12:34sense of relief like you got off easy on
12:37this one. Like okay, it wasn't as bad as
12:38I thought it was going to be. But
12:40there's no
12:42attention to the positive of it and I
12:44had to assure myself like no Leo, this
12:46is how things go for me. This is how
12:48things go. But when I say reactivated,
12:50you can get reactivated in that
12:52situation of like, okay, I got out easy
12:54on that. Something else is going to go
12:55wrong cuz my brain started going there
12:57too of like, okay, that was too easy.
13:00God's going to [ __ ] punish me. God's
13:02going to [ __ ] me up in some other way.
13:04No. There is no God that punishes
13:06people. Look at the people on the
13:08Epstein list. All of them are still
13:09breathing drawing breath. Okay? God
13:11ain't intervening is what I've learned.
13:13I'm going to do another episode soon
13:15about things I got wrong about God and
13:18my relationship with him now. He's not a
13:19punisher. He's not punishing [ __ ] Okay?
13:22Clearly. So me being who I am and how I
13:25am
13:26I'm not eating kids. so God is not
13:28wasting his time punishing me. This is a
13:30figment of my own imagination. Getting
13:32rid of that thought of like I'm going to
13:34be punished in some other way, that's a
13:36reactivation of like okay, you got out
13:38easy on this one problem. You're
13:40assuming another one's going to hit you
13:42and blindside you. So, that's another
13:43way you can be reactivated back into
13:45survival mode. Okay, the next thing on
13:47my list of activations, physical safety.
13:50People can become a threat. I got to a
13:52point a couple weeks ago where people
13:54just walking by my house also if I could
13:55see them out through my blinds,
13:57it would trip me. Like I would get on
14:00guard. Like any human being would trip
14:02me into fight or flight mode because I
14:04felt so unsafe and only saw bad [ __ ]
14:08happening, people taking advantage of
14:09me, [ __ ] me over, and wanting to
14:11cause harm to me. Like I was ready at
14:13any chance, but your brain when it gets
14:15stuck in that too long, any human being
14:17can be perceived as a threat. Your body
14:19will register humans as threats. Think
14:21of a dog who's been beaten by every
14:24person it's been in contact with.
14:26Eventually that dog's just going to stay
14:28away from people. Anytime a person walks
14:29by that dog, it's going to like
14:31either cower and hide or it's going to
14:33get ready like yeah, I'm going to bite
14:34you. So,
14:36we're kind of similar in that way to
14:37other animals. We all survive.
14:40Next one is money.
14:42Money, whoa. When you're stuck in fight
14:44or flight mode, you will see nothing but
14:45burdens, issues, unexpected expenses,
14:48how you don't have enough. It's going to
14:50be nothing but irritation and headache
14:52and
14:53your livelihood, you need money to live.
14:55So, that is an activation that will put
14:58you back in survival mode nonstop and so
15:01many times a day if you don't get a hold
15:04of like and become aware of what's going
15:06on. Betrayal is another thing that will
15:08activate you and being betrayed once is
15:10something that reactivates you nonstop
15:12because
15:13when you realize you can't trust
15:14somebody and trust people in general,
15:17when you're stuck in fight or flight
15:18mode, isolation, 100%. You want to
15:21isolate, you want to be away from
15:22everybody cuz you see people as
15:23problems, you see people as threats.
15:26But, the betrayal thing goes so many
15:28steps further because you lose your
15:30ability to trust yourself and your own
15:32judgment. So, you feel even more unsafe.
15:34And then, with betrayal, let's say you
15:36find out lies, whether it's business,
15:38relationship, friendship, whatever it
15:40is, family, someone lies to you. When
15:43you're stuck in hyper-vigilance mode,
15:45you will rerun scenarios all day long.
15:48Cuz when I find out the truth of
15:49something, my brain don't let it go. It
15:52goes back and rewrites all of my
15:53memories with certain people. Every
15:55conversation where you lied to me, my
15:57brain makes me rethink about it. And
16:00it's like a hyper-vigilance thing. I
16:02will go revisit every single thing
16:04that's happened. It's like if 2 years
16:06I've been with somebody or been friends
16:07with somebody and come to find out they
16:08betrayed me or something, all the small
16:10little conversations will play through
16:12my head just at random points in the
16:14day. And as you think of this person,
16:17you will be reactivated into fight or
16:18flight mode because when you experience
16:21a lie, you're jolted into a new reality.
16:23When you find out the truth of that lie,
16:26it breaks. Like everything that you
16:27thought you've known breaks. Betrayal is
16:29no [ __ ] joke. So, stop lying to
16:32people. You're going to get killed for
16:33it one day. You're going to make the
16:34wrong person snap, okay? Enough with
16:36this [ __ ] with people.
16:38But, when lies get exposed, you got to
16:40revisit it all. Like your brain will do
16:42it. And then, you lose your trust in
16:45your ability to perceive reality. The
16:49way you thought things were, you get
16:50blindsided of like, okay, so nothing is
16:52what I thought it was. You will lose
16:54your grip on reality. But, those
16:55memories and scenarios replaying through
16:57your head will reactivate you.
16:59Especially if you're dealing with
16:59someone like an ex who's like trying to
17:02destroy you or get revenge or like
17:03business [ __ ] It's like anytime you
17:05think of those people,
17:07you register them as a threat after
17:09you've been hurt. So, any thought of
17:10them, good or bad, is going to stimulate
17:12you. It's like when your stomach drops
17:14after a breakup when you start thinking
17:15about somebody and your stomach drops
17:18every time you think about them or you
17:19get that cold feeling like you're cold
17:21and all of a sudden you're just like
17:22anxious.
17:23It's like when you're looking up your ex
17:24on social media like a day after you
17:26broke up and it's like you see them out
17:27doing something and your stomach drops.
17:29It's like that anticipation disgusting
17:32feeling. That is a reactivation and it
17:34will happen over and over and over
17:35again. Another thing that will
17:38reactivate you with seeing things from
17:39the past is you'll start to see
17:41everything you could have done to
17:42prevent being in the position that
17:43you're in. You're looking for any kind
17:45of control subconsciously and when you
17:47see all the things in the past you could
17:49have done or should have known and you
17:51didn't do things
17:53it's like another reactivation and then
17:55there's guilt and there's anger and
17:56frustration and more hopelessness
17:58because you're like, okay, I could have
18:00avoided this.
18:01I'm going to go ahead and defend you for
18:02a second. If you knew better, you would
18:04have done better. So, standing where you
18:06are now and judging you in the past for
18:08not doing [ __ ] different is not fair.
18:10Stop [ __ ] doing it, okay? From here
18:12forward, you choose different, you do
18:14better. But beating yourself up for no
18:16reason, for what? Now the other thing
18:18that will reactivate you, this one gets
18:20me all the time, is when you think about
18:23having hope for something new going
18:26forward or like hope of something going
18:28good. You will immediately be jolted and
18:32activated into survival mode because all
18:35of the times that you've had hope in the
18:36past, you've abused yourself to try and
18:39convince yourself to have hope. And then
18:42you absolutely got [ __ ] on or things
18:44went god awful.
18:46Having hope becomes a threat. Having
18:49hope for things, trying to get yourself
18:50to think positively, your brain will
18:53flash in front of you how that is a
18:55stupid ass idea. Have we not had enough
18:57proof? Is what your brain's going to do.
18:59Your logical mind's trying to keep you
19:00safe and your survival instinct's like,
19:02okay, last time we had hope and we went
19:04this way about it, we got [ __ ] up. So,
19:07we're not going down that road again.
19:08Your brain will try and prevent you from
19:10having hope and that's a miserable way
19:12to live.
19:13Another thing that reactivates me is
19:15when I'm in survival mode.
19:18I don't have access to my intuition. I
19:20don't have access to spiritual abilities
19:22and insight and stuff like that that I'm
19:25used to operating with. And that comes
19:27with a sense of abandonment. Of your
19:29soul abandoning you. You feel like God
19:31abandoned you.
19:32And that will trip you into fight or
19:34flight mode and keep you stuck there.
19:35Like you feel like you have to get more
19:36hyper-vigilant. You feel more unprepared
19:39to handle threats and unprepared to
19:41handle life. So you're stuck. But one
19:43thing I do want to say is your intuition
19:45can never leave you. Your intuition is
19:47never not there. It just doesn't scream.
19:49So when you're freaking out, running
19:51around Doomsday and activated all the
19:53time, not seeing no good, not seeing no
19:55positive, your survival instincts and
19:57your survival thoughts reacting to
19:59reality are just the ones running the
20:01show.
20:02You're not able to hear your intuition.
20:04Your intuition's always there, it's just
20:05not screaming for you to hear it. It's
20:07the calm knowing that you have. It's
20:10never going to scream louder than that.
20:11So the only way to reaccess that is to
20:13get out of survival mode. But I'm still
20:15going through my activations. There's a
20:16couple more. So lack of control is the
20:18next activation I want to talk about.
20:20Because when you see that you don't have
20:22any control over a situation and you
20:24also feel like your actions and
20:25everything is being prevented, it's like
20:28huh, then you get angry. Because you
20:30think things will happen as bad as
20:32possible.
20:33So you're activated from that and then
20:34the anger will activate you further. And
20:36then that's certain times you want to
20:38get revenge cuz it's like a lack of
20:39control.
20:40What I've done, what all the things I've
20:43done in my life, it's like it feels like
20:44the ultimate just like [ __ ] it moment.
20:47And
20:48you will search for any type of control.
20:50And if revenge, thoughts of revenge give
20:52you a sense of control, you will
20:53entertain them. I do not recommend
20:55acting on them, but it's your life. You
20:57choose what you want to do. Because I
20:59would never sit here and tell a parent
21:01who
21:02had their child murdered or something or
21:04harmed not to get revenge on the person
21:07who did it because I would. If I had a
21:09kid, I would do that. So, sometimes
21:11revenge
21:12is worth it. I'm just going to be honest
21:14cuz the justice system's full of [ __ ]
21:16Like sometimes the justice system's just
21:17going to let them walk. So,
21:20yeah, there is certain circumstances
21:21where revenge is
21:23needed. And
21:25I feel like my soul would be content
21:27with that at certain times. So, like
21:28that's a scenario where I would be
21:29content with that. You know what I mean?
21:31Okay, let's move on to the last one.
21:33The last activation that I notice a lot
21:36>> [gasps]
21:36>> is being too aware of the law of
21:39attraction.
21:41Oh, cuz like I said, when you're stuck
21:42in survival mode, you can't think of
21:44nothing good, positive, happy, nothing.
21:46So, being aware of law of attraction and
21:49you think you understand it, but now
21:50you've like lost control. Like you can't
21:52control your thoughts, you can't control
21:53nothing. You're stuck in fight or flight
21:55mode. Just the awareness of law of
21:56attraction, you start to freak out and
21:58it will reactivate you of like, "Okay,
22:01if I'm thinking negative, I'm going to
22:02get negative. If I think dog [ __ ] it's
22:04going to keep happening." So, it's like
22:06this fear that comes up of like, "Okay,
22:09if I do create my own reality,
22:12I'm not able to control it right now.
22:14And when I'm not creating my reality,
22:17you assume God's got something against
22:20you and he's punishing you. The universe
22:22is punishing you." So, it's just that's
22:24a reactivation thing, big for me. It's
22:26just awareness of the law of attraction.
22:29So, we've talked enough about getting
22:30activated, right? You get it, I think.
22:34So, now let's talk about the only way to
22:35get out of survival mode and to get out
22:37of all of that is to down regulate.
22:41Tricky, right? When your nervous
22:42system's [ __ ] up? Yeah. First thing is
22:46uncertainty. Like being in the dark. No
22:48one's scared of the dark. You're scared
22:50of what you think is in the dark.
22:52Now, the next thing is you got to see
22:54you've been living in a false reality.
22:57As real as it's felt,
23:00it ain't true because you've only been
23:02experiencing bad. From your experience,
23:05that's all you've truly experienced.
23:06That's all your awareness has been able
23:07to see. That's all you have felt like
23:09you've experienced, right? But, the
23:12ultimate truth is
23:15good is still happening.
23:17It's not just bad.
23:18And there is truly no external thing
23:21that can change the way you feel.
23:24Because, if you think about, okay,
23:27someone hands you $50 million,
23:29okay, if you're stressing about money,
23:30you think, "Okay, if someone hands me
23:31$50 million bucks, yeah, I'd be happy."
23:33No, you wouldn't. You'd be a
23:34stressed-out goddamn wreck. In the past,
23:37I've also had thoughts of like external
23:38things that can happen of someone who
23:40was harming me
23:42and doing things to me, them dying, that
23:45thought would bring me relief. But, if
23:48you actually think about it,
23:50it's not going to bring you relief. It
23:52[snorts] just makes you feel like the
23:54threat is gone. The damage that's been
23:56done to you mentally and emotionally and
23:59spiritually is done.
24:02What you want, truly,
24:05is your mind back.
24:07You want to have hope that things can go
24:10good for you. You want things to go good
24:11for you. Truly, that's the core of it.
24:13Like, that's what you want, but you feel
24:15like you can't have it. Having money,
24:17someone handing you $50 million bucks,
24:19if you're stuck in survival mode, things
24:21will happen where you lose it. You will
24:23be nothing but a stressed-out wreck,
24:25because now you have something to lose.
24:26How do I manage it? What do I do with
24:27it? Oh my god, all these unexpected
24:29expenses that I see coming up with my
24:31income now. You still have that mindset,
24:33and it's still going to be there when
24:35you get that 50 million, and it's going
24:37to suck you dry. If you're not able to
24:39feel safe,
24:40you will not feel safe with $50 million.
24:42It will start to make you feel like it's
24:44more of a threat. And I have the perfect
24:45example of how this got revealed to me,
24:49because I had this desire of I want a
24:52couch. I want a new couch. I want a
24:53comfortable couch. Like, as chaotic as
24:56my life has been, I'm like, I want to be
24:58able to just go into my living room and
24:59lay the [ __ ] down. I just want to I want
25:01comfort right now. So, I have a desire
25:03for comfort come up and I have a desire
25:04to find a new couch.
25:06I immediately am hit with being
25:08absolutely drained, exhausted, pissed
25:11off.
25:12And I was like,
25:14"Huh?" This is when things can make
25:16sense is when they don't make sense.
25:18Like when your reaction to something is
25:19so irrational. So, with me with the
25:21couch, I'm like, "Okay, I'm just
25:23observing what just happened in me." I
25:26had a desire for a new couch cuz I want
25:27comfort, and I immediately was hit with
25:30disappointment and anger and like
25:33hopelessness. Now, how the [ __ ] did we
25:35just jump from I want a new couch to
25:37that? How do you that make sense?
25:40But, that's exactly what has been wrong
25:42with my mind and what happens to your
25:43mind when you're in survival mode too
25:45damn long. So, me with the couch, I had
25:47to observe it. Okay, what just made me
25:49think that? What just led me from desire
25:51to devastation?
25:53How did that just happen? Like the
25:54thought of a new couch just pissed me
25:56off so bad. And I was like, "Okay, what
25:58is it about getting a new couch that I
26:00think is going to be like such a
26:01problem?" I started listing things off.
26:04It's going to be too hard to find. It's
26:05going to irritate the [ __ ] out of me. If
26:07I end up buying one online, it's not
26:08going to be what I want in person. I'm
26:09going to go through dealing with
26:10returning it. It's going to be way too
26:12damn expensive. It's going to stress me
26:14out. And it's just going to be more
26:16headache and more problem.
26:17So, it wasn't just I have a desire for a
26:20new couch, devastation. It was I have a
26:23desire for a new couch, my identity of
26:25being trapped in survival mode took
26:27over.
26:28And it stopped me from even wanting to
26:31go forward with that desire. It
26:33prevented me from taking action toward
26:35it. And this is exactly how every single
26:37thing in your life feels when you are
26:40stuck in hyper-vigilance mode. This is
26:42the [ __ ] that makes you not want to get
26:43out the bed. But,
26:45the thing I realized about all of this
26:47is
26:49it's actually a protection mechanism
26:52for your brain and your mind and it's a
26:54protection mechanism from your soul.
26:57And when this protection mechanism kicks
26:59on
27:00and you don't become aware of it, that's
27:03when you get the anhedonia. That's when
27:04you get the depression, the
27:06hopelessness, the fatigue, the
27:08exhaustion, wanting to use substances.
27:10This was the main thing that made me
27:12want to use cocaine and why I was using
27:13it for so long in the past. I haven't
27:15been doing it, which I'm proud as hell
27:17of myself for cuz like
27:19I've been mad as [ __ ]
27:20>> [laughter]
27:20>> I've been going through it, but I never
27:23resorted. It's like I feel like I'm
27:24going through this cycle of relearning
27:25all these things all over again. But the
27:27thing I want to point out is you're not
27:29[ __ ] up. Nothing's gone wrong. This is
27:31a protection mechanism. It's It's here
27:33to help you because your soul is trying
27:36to stop you to make you see
27:39how powerful your mind is so you can
27:42[ __ ] use it.
27:43When this whole protection mechanism
27:45kicks on of thought of a desire for
27:48something and you're immediately stopped
27:51by to do it. Like your energy is
27:52depleted, you're emotionally just like
27:54irritated and you don't want to do it
27:56and you see everything in life like
27:58that, you're being called back to stop
28:01and take control of your mind. You're
28:03reacting to reality and your identity
28:05now has been so wrapped up in it
28:08nothing makes sense. Like for me to have
28:10that type of reaction over the thought
28:12of trying to get a new couch and that's
28:14when you're supposed to see this doesn't
28:15make sense. Something about how I've
28:17been seeing the world doesn't make sense
28:19cuz like I said, hypervigilance puts you
28:21in a false reality where you only see
28:23bad and you only see negative.
28:25Feeling alone, feeling like no one's
28:27there for you, your soul is literally
28:29stopping you.
28:31And when I say it's stopping you
28:33it's draining your energy before you
28:35even take another step because the steps
28:37that you take will further this cycle
28:39because you haven't flipped your mind.
28:41You're not meant to take any more
28:43action. You're meant to stop. You're
28:44allowed to stop. is the thing.
28:47It doesn't matter how bad [ __ ] seems and
28:49how scared you are to stop, you're
28:51supposed to stop. Your soul is trying to
28:53stop you and if you don't listen, it
28:55fully [ __ ] will.
28:57It's going to get your attention.
28:59And it does it through your emotions.
29:00You can never shut your emotions off.
29:03Your emotions are your guidance system,
29:05I've learned [clears throat] in this
29:06life. Like it's my little compass. You
29:08can't ever turn that off. It don't
29:10matter how bad you try and break that
29:12compass or what substances you pour over
29:14it to try and make it point another
29:15direction.
29:17Your soul communicates with you through
29:19your emotions and your intuition. It's
29:22guiding you at all times and it's
29:23guiding you to dead stop and sit down
29:26because you are too powerful. Your mind
29:30is destroying your life.
29:32And it's very hard in these moments to
29:34trust that how bad you feel is meant to
29:37be happening,
29:38but it's the truth. You're meant to get
29:40to this point so you start to question
29:43things. I made a little list of a couple
29:45things that my soul was trying to tell
29:46me through all this and it's things that
29:48your soul is trying to tell you if you
29:49relate to the things that I'm describing
29:51with how you feel. So, number one,
29:54instead of beating yourself up for all
29:56the times in the past you didn't do
29:58things different, because like I said
29:59before, you know what you know now. And
30:02instead of looking at all the [ __ ] in
30:03the past that you could have done,
30:04should have done, would have done,
30:05you're looking at that through a lens of
30:07you're the only one who could have
30:09helped yourself. No. Look back at all of
30:12the times you did not listen to
30:15yourself. When you knew something was
30:17off and didn't listen.
30:19When you made certain decisions and you
30:21felt that tang or that sting of like
30:23something's off, but you did it anyway,
30:26you were being guided the entire time.
30:28That is what your soul wants you to
30:29realize about the past. Stop looking
30:32back like you can change [ __ ] you
30:33can't. What you have to see so that you
30:35can move forward out of this negative
30:37spiral is you were always guided and
30:40supported and you had that [ __ ]
30:41compass with you. So, look back in the
30:43past of how you weirdly knew something
30:46was off. You put a little more trust
30:49in you going forward with yourself.
30:51Okay, so the next thing your soul wants
30:53you to see is how you're already living
30:56unwanted experiences before they
30:58happened. Like with me in the example of
31:00my hot water not working earlier.
31:02When that happened, I was already 10
31:05steps into the most unwanted experience
31:08that I could have. Cuz remember how I
31:10was saying the electrician's going to
31:12have to come, the plumber's going to
31:13have to come, I'm going to have to
31:14replace the whole thing, all these
31:15different issues, and I was about to
31:18start taking actions in line with that.
31:21I was about to call an electrician and
31:23call a plumber.
31:24But, instead of doing that, I stopped
31:28because your soul sees how you are 10
31:31steps ahead into the unwanted, and when
31:33you take actions into future experiences
31:37right now, it makes them happen. So,
31:41that's a big thing with manifestation is
31:42do things as if they're already done.
31:44When you want to manifest something that
31:45you want. Like when I was trying to find
31:47a warehouse to do my own fulfillment, I
31:49went to the store before I had the
31:50warehouse, and I was buying dollies,
31:53hammers, gloves, a bunch of stuff that I
31:55was going to need at my warehouse once I
31:56got it. And the next day I manifested
31:59finding the perfect warehouse. So, the
32:00same way that you can take actions in
32:02line with a wanted experience that you
32:05want to have before it even happens yet,
32:08you have to see how you've been doing
32:10that to the negative experiences, too.
32:13Because like with me with the water
32:14heater, I was like, "No.
32:15Hold on." Like I became aware of like,
32:17"Okay, I've just gone 25 steps into the
32:19unwanted [ __ ] I'm already over here
32:20calling the plumber. I'm already over
32:21here paying $20,000 to get everything
32:23ripped up in my house and fixed." Like
32:25for what? You ain't even looked at the
32:27[ __ ] thing yet. So, that's when I was
32:28like, "Okay,
32:30let me go look at it
32:32in the attic first. Let me go up there
32:33and just see what's going on." Because
32:36your soul wants you to stop going into
32:38the unwanted experience. Stop
32:40manifesting the unwanted experience.
32:42Your soul is stopping you from doing
32:44that. It's draining you so hard that
32:47you're just stuck and not taking action
32:49because your soul knows and sees what
32:51you're doing. You keep going into the
32:53unwanted and manifesting it, right? But
32:55it's not your fault cuz your brain's
32:57stuck in hyper-vigilance mode. All
32:58you're seeing is threats. I get it. But
33:00this is everything that's happening. So,
33:02the whole thing is like, okay, I went up
33:04into the attic, saw the problem, and it
33:06was solved really quickly. I fixed it
33:09myself.
33:10Catching your brain before you start
33:14going too far and living that unwanted
33:16experience before it already happens.
33:18Cuz like I said, it works in the flip.
33:19You live positive and your desired
33:21experiences before they happen. Because
33:24when I actually started looking for my
33:25couch, I found one so much easier than I
33:27thought. Literally. It's the craziest
33:30thing how fast you can flip your own
33:31reality. You [ __ ] control it. Because
33:34I became aware of that whole thing with
33:35the couch, and I was like, all right,
33:36I'm 25 steps ahead. I ain't even pulled
33:38up my phone and start looking for
33:39couches yet.
33:40And I ended up finding the perfect couch
33:43within 5 minutes. The next day I went
33:45and bought it, paid for it.
33:48It was a [ __ ] cloud couch from
33:49Restoration Hardware.
33:51>> [snorts]
33:51>> Like my dream couch.
33:52Found it for a steal. [ __ ] was
33:55almost brand new, too. Just been
33:56professionally cleaned. I got a steal on
33:58it because the people were having to
34:00leave out of town like in a rush, and
34:02they sold it to me. And I went and
34:04picked it up. Everything went perfect. I
34:06found my dream couch, got it in my
34:07house, perfect size, perfect fit,
34:09comfortable, love it. But it's just that
34:12it's so powerful. Your mind is so
34:14powerful, and that's what your soul is
34:15trying to tell you and teach you.
34:17Stop making yourself suffer for no
34:19reason. You know what I mean? Like when
34:21I was trapped in this, it would did I'm
34:22able to laugh and joke about it now.
34:24It's [ __ ] hell. But I'm tossing you
34:27the key to get out of the prison cell.
34:29Get out. Here. Take it.
34:32>> [laughter]
34:32>> And I've experienced this cycle so many
34:34times in my life. I've experienced this
34:37exact thing and how quickly you can flip
34:40your own reality so many times. I fully
34:43100% believe it. And you're already, if
34:46you're listening to this and you're
34:47resonating with what I'm saying, you're
34:48already feeling a little bit relieved.
34:50Your emotional system is already easing
34:52because this is the truth you're meant
34:54to line up with and start to live and
34:56experience for yourself. You already
34:58feel the relief. So, trust that. That is
35:01how you know you're living in line with
35:03your soul and your higher self.
35:05That's exactly it.
35:07The relief, the ease, the Wow, that
35:09makes sense.
35:10>> [laughter]
35:11>> Okay, I want to talk about the
35:12sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous
35:13system really quick before I go into the
35:15last thing that your soul's kind of like
35:17trying to tell you. So, I learned this
35:19thing when I was in nursing school
35:20called point and shoot
35:22to understand parasympathetic and
35:24sympathetic nervous systems, right? So,
35:26point,
35:28that's when you get hard.
35:30>> [laughter]
35:31>> That's how you remember parasympathetic.
35:33Your parasympathetic nervous system has
35:35to be activated so that you can get a
35:37hard on to be aroused. You have to be in
35:40a down-regulated state, right? Shoot is
35:43sympathetic. When you're about to
35:45finish, like a
35:47>> [laughter]
35:47>> I don't I don't talk sexual ever on the
35:48internet, but like you remember things
35:51with sexual connotations. So, for you to
35:54shoot, to finish sexual intercourse,
35:57your sympathetic nervous system has to
35:59be sparked. That's why everything gets
36:00really intense toward the end. But, that
36:03alone is how I can identify
36:06which system is activated.
36:08Parasympathetic, is it pointed? Am I
36:10calm enough? Do I feel safe and calm
36:13enough where I could get aroused? Like,
36:15that's parasympathetic. Versus shoot, do
36:17I want to shoot somebody? That's how I
36:19also remember it. So, like, there's a
36:20sexual part of finishing, you like
36:22ejaculate, shoot, versus I want to shoot
36:24you. That's another way that you can
36:26tell and your body and your nervous
36:28system is letting you know if you're
36:30stuck in fight or flight mode. If you
36:32have zero sex drive,
36:34you're not feeling safe. You're not
36:36feeling down regulated. You're
36:38activated. And that's why a lot of guys
36:39have a problem getting aroused with sex
36:43when they're nervous. When you're
36:44anxious, you're not your parasympathetic
36:45nervous system is not activated.
36:47Therefore, it ain't getting up. I notice
36:49I'm really out of alignment when my sex
36:50drive drops to zero.
36:52So, that's another little thing to keep
36:54in mind, but
36:56I want to talk about the way that my
36:57soul kind of like talks to me through
36:59the urges that I get when I'm activated.
37:01And it's not really my soul, but it's
37:03like emotional system, nervous system,
37:06and things I want to kind of bring up so
37:07you can help notice when you're
37:09activated because it gets kind of hard
37:11to observe that. Everybody think, "Oh,
37:13observe what you're feeling." Okay,
37:14here's how to [ __ ] do it. So, some
37:16things that I observe, fighting, duh.
37:19Like you feel like anxious, like you
37:20want to fight. You get more aggressive,
37:21you get angry. That's one that I notice.
37:24But a big one is all of a sudden I want
37:26to wear a hoodie. Like I want to cover
37:28my skin and cover my head. I always put
37:30a hoodie over my head when I feel
37:32activated. It's like a comfort thing.
37:34You have to start listening to your body
37:35cuz it will tell you what it needs, and
37:37your soul is kind of talking through
37:38that, too. But that's one thing I notice
37:40I get an urge for is I want to cover my
37:42skin. Another one is quiet. Like I want
37:44quiet and silence, or I want to hear the
37:47birds chirp. I want to hear nature. No
37:49people. I don't want no people around. I
37:51just want to hear like quiet and
37:53stillness. It's a big one. Pacifying
37:55behaviors are another one. So, oral
37:58fixation
38:00is a pacifying behavior. Smoking, biting
38:02your nails, eating. That's all oral.
38:04Like if you think of a baby, that's how
38:06they pacify themselves. Like when you're
38:08over here drinking breast milk,
38:11you're you're chill. Like you're down
38:13regulating. Your digestive system's on.
38:14Like that's a soothing thing. It's a
38:17soothing behavior to put something in
38:19your mouth. I smoke cigarettes like a
38:20[ __ ] train when I'm activated into
38:23fight or flight mode, okay?
38:25Another thing that I notice is
38:27when I'm activated, I start closing all
38:29windows and doors. I set my security
38:31system. I close my garage door. I lock
38:33down my home, bully. If I'm out in
38:36public, I all of a sudden want to
38:37[ __ ] get out of wherever I'm at.
38:39Another one is I feel fast. I don't know
38:42how to describe that feeling. It's not
38:45anxiety.
38:46But when I'm activated into fight or
38:48flight mode, I all of a sudden feel
38:49fast. Not like, "Ooh, I'm Lightning
38:51McQueen. I'm going to take off running."
38:53Like I'm not trying on a new pair of
38:54shoes like, "Oh, I'm going to be so fast
38:55in these." It's like a a sensation of
38:58everything is fast. My thoughts are
39:00fast.
39:02My emotions are fast. It's like
39:04everything just gets very fast.
39:07Not time. How do you describe this
39:09experience? Nothing is relaxed. Not much
39:12thought is happening. Thoughts are
39:14flashing by. But like
39:16it's just this you get discomfort. It's
39:18like if you do a line of coke. Like you
39:20just feel fast. That's how I feel when
39:23I'm activated into fight or flight mode
39:24sometimes. You just feel like
39:26it's not anxiety. It's just like you're
39:28like stimulated and you feel like you
39:30need to do something. That's how I feel
39:32when I'm perceiving a threat. It's like
39:34you're scanning. You're looking. It's
39:35like everything just gets really quick.
39:37And the biggest thing that I notice when
39:38I get activated is I can't get my mind
39:42off of replaying situations
39:44or
39:46planning
39:47for bad outcomes and how things could go
39:50wrong. Planning for how situations could
39:53turn and like finding out how I've been
39:55blindsided, that's a really big thing.
39:58Now I made a list of what I do and what
40:00to do when you get activated. So, number
40:03one,
40:04if you're activated into fight or flight
40:05mode or hyper-vigilance,
40:07if there's no physical threat,
40:10there's nothing going on, stop.
40:13Like if there's a lion coming after you,
40:15yeah, fight, run, do something, [ __ ]
40:17Don't just stand there.
40:18But, if you notice you're activated and
40:20there's no actual immediate physical
40:22threat, stop. Then say it out loud. Just
40:25saying it out loud immediately pulls you
40:27above the experience of it. Observing it
40:30disconnects you from the vibration of
40:31being in it. It separates you from it.
40:34So, just observing it, notice you're
40:36activated, and then say it out loud,
40:37"I'm activated." It fully like
40:40lets you adjust for a second. And then,
40:43typically, with friction in life, if
40:46happens or traffic or somebody cuts you
40:48off, or you drop something, break
40:49something, or the water heater goes
40:52down,
40:53>> [laughter]
40:53>> say out loud, "Normal friction."
40:57You have to start reminding yourself and
40:59kind of guiding yourself back into like
41:02a normal mind that you have control
41:04over. Stop letting it run. Stop letting
41:07it go doomsday 10 steps ahead.
41:10Just saying out loud, "Normal friction,"
41:13immediately
41:14makes me feel so much more at ease.
41:17Okay, before we keep going, I do want to
41:19acknowledge the anger you're going to
41:20feel when you feel like you have to
41:23basically rehab yourself and your mind,
41:27because this whole process takes a
41:30rehabilitation of your own mind and your
41:32emotions, your relationship with
41:33yourself, and your relationship to life.
41:36The [snorts] anger you're going to feel
41:37of someone If someone's done something
41:40to you that has put you into survival
41:42mode, and you feel [ __ ] up by a
41:44certain experience that was unfair,
41:46you're going to feel hatred. You're
41:48going to feel mad about how you feel
41:50[ __ ] up, and you're going to feel
41:52irritated that you have to go through
41:55doing this to yourself to rehab
41:57yourself.
41:58Don't look at it like that. It's easy
42:00to. I'm going to validate it for you.
42:01Everybody feels that. Like, you get to
42:03walk off scot-free. I'm over here
42:05traumatized like a [ __ ] little [ __ ]
42:06and I got to rehab myself? You kidding
42:08me? That's how I get sometimes. I get
42:10real pissed off. Makes you want to slit
42:12their throat. But the thing to remember
42:14is you broke the cycle. Now stay out of
42:17it cuz you're going to get looped back
42:19into it. And this does get easier. It
42:20gets way easier as time goes and as you
42:23experience things because the proof will
42:25start to happen immediately. As soon as
42:28you stop getting stuck in
42:30hyper-vigilance manifestation of
42:32negative and threats and problems, when
42:34you as soon as you remove yourself from
42:36that cycle and come up above it and just
42:38observe the things that were into making
42:41that your reality, it starts flipping
42:43instantly. Like I said with the couch,
42:45less than 12 hours had the brand new
42:47[ __ ] thing sitting right in the
42:48living room.
42:49But the next thing on my list of what I
42:50do, so say it out loud, observe what
42:53you're feeling, say it out loud, you're
42:54activated, normal friction, great. Then
42:56I comfort myself, I down regulate
42:58myself.
42:59And I do that first by grounding into
43:01reality now. Like the analogy with the
43:04heater, the water heater. Okay.
43:06Got activated, noticed I was 25 steps
43:08ahead, we're going to get the fishing
43:10hook out, hook ourselves and reel our
43:12mind back in to the physical reality
43:14here and now. Like with the couch, too.
43:17What just happened? I had a desire for a
43:19couch. I hadn't even looked yet, so why
43:21am I freaking out?
43:23Just that. Just the observation and
43:24grounded into the reality of right now.
43:26What is happening?
43:28Nothing. I'm safe. I'm good. I'm
43:31chilling.
43:32Comfort yourself. It also helps a lot if
43:34you say this out loud to yourself. Like
43:36how I just did, like you're safe here,
43:37you're fine, you're good. You know what
43:38I mean? But next on my list is one of
43:40the biggest things. So,
43:42when you're trying to comfort yourself
43:43and walk yourself back 10 steps ahead
43:45into the reality right now, to try and
43:48[ __ ] yourself and think of positive
43:51thoughts, oh, this is going to go good.
43:54Telling yourself that is [ __ ]
43:56You're not going to be able to accept it
43:58and you're not going to be able to feel
43:59comforted by that. You're going to feel
44:00like you are now against yourself trying
44:02to delude yourself. So, I can't just
44:05tell myself, after I've panicked about
44:07being 10 steps ahead like with the water
44:09heater, I'm going to have to pay $20,000
44:11to get everything fixed. Oh my god. Ah.
44:13After living that for 2 seconds, become
44:15aware of it, snap in myself back into
44:17reality now. I ain't even looked
44:19upstairs in the attic yet. To say, I'm
44:22going to go upstairs and there's going
44:23to be nothing wrong with it. It's going
44:25to magically fix itself is stupid.
44:28There is no delude yourself with a
44:31positive thought. You're not a match to
44:32that. It's going to feel like
44:35[ __ ] So,
44:37what I say is, I do not know how this
44:41will go.
44:42That your brain can accept. To
44:44immediately say, everything's going to
44:46go great and positive PT.
44:48You're not going to be able to accept
44:49it. So, just
44:51say something that your brain can
44:52accept. I just went down a road of 10
44:55ways this could go bad. I'm aware of it.
44:57I'm not a match to that no more. Okay?
44:59You're safe from it. I actually don't
45:01know how this could go.
45:03There's a potential for it to go good or
45:06bad. Just reminding yourself and putting
45:08your awareness on the possibility of
45:11good
45:12is going to switch everything. Okay, so
45:14the next thing that I do. Ooh, this
45:16one's going to scare you a little.
45:17>> [laughter]
45:18>> Embrace the uncertainty.
45:20Cuz when you get blindsided by something
45:22bad,
45:23it's easy to doomsday about it. But,
45:26like I said, you're not scared of the
45:27dark, you're scared of what you think is
45:28in the dark. So, remind yourself,
45:31I was just blindsided by bad. The
45:34possibility of being blindsided by good
45:38100% exists too.
45:41So, all the things you're worrying about
45:42negative that can happen, let's not
45:44forget, blindside can work both ways.
45:48Getting thrown off your rocker surprise.
45:51Blindsided by [ __ ] it can happen either
45:52way. So,
45:54you have to embrace that. Like it's not
45:56just okay, there's a possibility for
45:59good. No, embrace it.
46:01I just got blindsided by bad.
46:03I can be blindsided by good, too.
46:05And start to expect the good.
46:08Start to expect things to get resolved
46:10because you have to embrace uncertainty
46:14for things to be fixed and situations to
46:16be rectified in ways you can't even
46:19imagine.
46:20You can't even imagine all the ways it
46:21can go bad. Your brain will [ __ ] try,
46:23but you're not practiced right now in
46:25seeing how things can go good. But
46:27that's what you have to open up to is
46:29seeing how things can go good. There's
46:31an infinite amount of possibilities, and
46:33that is when magic happens in your life.
46:36I've experienced it and talked about it
46:38on my podcast for so long. All the years
46:40I've posted this [ __ ] like you you just
46:41hear the crazy synchronicities that
46:43happened for me and to my life.
46:46When I'm negative,
46:47the amount of things that can go wrong,
46:49like it's so convincing of like okay
46:52God or some higher power has to have
46:54their hand in playing this because no
46:56way this is not calculated. The amount
46:59of bad that's happened, it's so
47:01detailed. The good will happen just like
47:04that once you embrace that. And that's
47:06the most fun to experience, but your
47:08soul's there and your soul is going to
47:10line [ __ ] up. You have to let your soul
47:12take the reins fully. And the next step
47:14on my list, my last step is
47:17once you're down regulated and you've
47:19kind of walked through all these steps
47:21that I just said, when you get the urge,
47:23like the true urge, not a fighter flight
47:25urge, but when you're just down
47:27regulating and you've stopped and you're
47:29letting yourself chill for a second and
47:32you divert your mind, you take it out of
47:34that negative spiral, that is when your
47:37soul will knock
47:39and give you an urge to do something or
47:41like a boost of energy or an idea for
47:43something
47:44if it needs you to participate in the
47:46physical reality. Your soul is
47:47orchestrating [ __ ] nonstop for your best
47:50interest. When your soul needs you to do
47:52something, you will know. It's not going
47:54to be anxious, it's not going to be a
47:56nervous wreck, it's not going to be
47:58fight or flight mode. True aligned
48:00action is only going to come after
48:02you've down regulated, stopped, flipped
48:05your mind, reminded yourself of the
48:06positive experiences are also possible,
48:09and saying you're going to sit there and
48:11wait to be guided to them.
48:14Because if you take actions out of the
48:17paranoia and the fear and the worry,
48:19that's what will manifest. So, when you
48:21sit down for a second, you're like,
48:22"Okay,
48:23I'm going to wait for my soul to ping me
48:26for an action that needs to go toward
48:28the wanted experience of how this can
48:30go."
48:31You sit there and you wait a second.
48:33And then you do that. You don't take
48:34actions out of the doubt and the fear
48:36and the worry. Trust me, been there,
48:39done that. And it's small [ __ ] too.
48:40It's little things. I hope I did a good
48:43job of explaining that.
48:44Cuz I get it.
48:45>> [laughter]
48:46>> And this is how it's all kind of played
48:47out for me, but you're never alone. As
48:49much as you've lost sight of everything,
48:52I'm I'm talking to myself a few weeks
48:54ago right now. As much as you've lost
48:56sight of everything,
48:57you're feeling exactly how you're
48:59feeling because you're meant to. Your
49:00soul is here for you. Your soul is
49:02stopping you. Your soul wants you to get
49:06on board with it. It's ready. Over here,
49:09superhero, ready to knock itself out to
49:11make sure you get what you want and to
49:13make sure life goes good for you and to
49:15make sure you get your desires. You're
49:17feeling the way that you are because you
49:18are out of alignment with your soul
49:20energy that is trying to improve your
49:23life. Stop resisting it.
49:25Fix your [ __ ] brain,
49:27get on board, and trust it.
49:29Yeah, I think that's all I got to say.
49:31I got that all out. This is a long
49:33episode, huh?
49:34If you made it this far in the episode,
49:35leave a blue heart emoji. I want to see
49:37who made it and hung out all this way.
49:39Also, leave me a comment, let me know
49:40what you thought. And I want to say
49:41thank you to everybody
49:42who bought merch and bought sunglasses
49:45when I just relaunched. I've I didn't
49:47post last week cuz I've been in the
49:48warehouse fulfilling orders. is. was
49:50like 3,000 something. Me and my sister,
49:52it was just me and her. We did nothing
49:53but fulfill, had a blast with it. Oh my
49:56god, it was so much fun. Like yeah, it
49:58was a lot of [ __ ] work. But,
50:00a lot of awareness hit me. Like a lot of
50:02this stuff. And I appreciate you guys'
50:04support so much. Thank you. A lot of you
50:07already got your stuff, but a lot of
50:08stuff's already on the way if you
50:09haven't got it already. You got to track
50:10an email, okay? If you ordered, check
50:12your email, you got the tracking
50:13already. Cuz I shipped that [ __ ] okay?
50:16If you would like to shop anything, I'll
50:17put the link in the description.
50:18leoscupidcollection.com.
50:20That's where you can get my stuff.
50:23But that's it. That's all I got for this
50:24episode. Thanks for hanging out. Love
50:26you so bad. I'm proud of you.
50:29I feel like we're both on a good track
50:30now. And I hope this episode helped some
50:32people.
50:33A lot of people say that I saved their
50:35lives, but this one I feel like I'll
50:37understand it, cuz I just had to save my
50:39own life with this.
50:41So, yeah, my gift to you. Love you.
50:44Everybody be safe. Take care of
50:45yourself, and I'll talk to you guys next
50:47Sunday.

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