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How To Completely Reinvent Yourself In 6-12 Months — Transcript

by Dan Koe · 7,526 words · 1,089 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00At some point, usually in your 20s,
0:02you'll notice that the people around you
0:03stop believing in themselves. And no
0:05matter how hard you try, you can't save
0:08them. By all means, do not let it infect
0:10your mind. Stay on your path. So, I was
0:12mulling over that thought for the past
0:14few days, and the more I think about it,
0:16the deeper the problem goes. I can't
0:19help but notice that people between the
0:21ages of 20 and 35 just get trapped in
0:25this vicious cycle. You get motivated by
0:28some external source, a video, a book, a
0:30conversation, whatever. You feel like
0:32this is your moment, so you go all in.
0:35You start the business, you start
0:36working out, you start learning the
0:38skill. But then, like clockwork, 2 days,
0:40a week, 2 weeks later, you fall off. You
0:43so easily go back to the life you swore
0:45you despised. It's as if you were
0:47addicted to it, as if you preferred it
0:49over the life you just said you wanted,
0:51as if the desire to change your life was
0:53just another form of cheap dopamine that
0:55you couldn't resist. So, life goes on.
0:57You get another hit of motivation. You
0:59start again from zero. The cycle
1:01repeats. You get frustrated, but not
1:03enough to solidify the change. Then you
1:06wake up 1, 2, 10 years later. What's
1:09going on? Why is this such a common
1:11thing? Why is it so damn hard to change
1:14your life? And I'll tell you why, and
1:15it's not anything that you've heard
1:17before. Maybe you've heard of it before,
1:19but you haven't
1:21really understood it, or else you
1:22wouldn't be going through this cycle.
1:24And another video about productivity, or
1:26self-help, or motivation, or discipline,
1:28or dopamine isn't even going to solve
1:30half the problem. You've obviously
1:32watched enough of those, and nothing's
1:34changed. We need to dig much, much
1:36deeper into the mind. We need to
1:38understand the composition of the mind.
1:41We're actually going to break that down.
1:42It's like, you have how the body is
1:44formed, but how is the mind formed? Do
1:45you ever think about that? How is like
1:47the intangible parts of your mind just
1:50acting like a puppet master over your
1:52actions every single day, to the point
1:54where you're not not in control, like
1:56you can't even change your life. So, by
1:57the end of this video, I hope that you
1:59will have what you need to adopt the
2:01traits of a highly successful person.
2:03Specifically, a person with this
2:05admirable quality. A person who works
2:07with tremendous intensity on things that
2:09matter to you, and more importantly, a
2:11person who is strangely unbothered when
2:13those things don't work out. So, if you
2:15actually attempt to understand what's in
2:17this video, because the first part is
2:19dense, you're probably going to fall off
2:21within the first part. But, if you
2:23actually try to understand it rather
2:24than just try to hoard the knowledge
2:26like you do every other video, your life
2:28will look drastically different in 3 to
2:306 to 12 months. So, the first thing we
2:33need to do is we need to understand the
2:34composition of the mind, because that's
2:36why it's so hard to change. And your
2:38mind is a collection of survival
2:41strategies. This is where it gets dense.
2:43This is where it gets complex. Don't
2:44fall off, because understanding this
2:46will change just how you view life in
2:48general. Now, survival is the
2:50mechanical, often unconscious, engine
2:53behind every thought, emotion, and
2:55action. Everything you think, feel, or
2:57do is rooted in survival. I repeat, your
3:00entire human experience right now is
3:03directed by survival. This is one of the
3:05most important topics you can understand
3:07to change your life, because it's the
3:09root of what's keeping you the same. You
3:11hear the word survival, and you're like,
3:13"Well, I don't live in the past. Like,
3:15I'm not about to be attacked by
3:18uh another tribe. What does survival
3:20have to do with this? My basic needs are
3:21met." I'm not talking about that kind of
3:23survival. And the thing here is that you
3:25cannot win this survival game. You can
3:27only transcend and include it. You can
3:29only learn how to play it. Trying to win
3:31this game is the ultimate source of
3:34suffering. Now, there are two types of
3:35survival here that we have to
3:37understand, and most people only
3:38understand what the first one is. The
3:40first one is physical survival. So, like
3:42animals, we attempt to reproduce the
3:44information in our genes. This is
3:46largely solved in today's world, and
3:48most reading this aren't worried about
3:49getting eaten or dying from starvation.
3:52And then there's psychological survival.
3:54We also attempt to reproduce the
3:55information in our consciousness. We
3:57feel the drive to preserve our
3:58non-physical identity, the ideas,
4:00beliefs, practices, and worldview that
4:02shape our mind. So, to understand this,
4:05we have to understand the gist of what
4:07evolution is. So, billions of years ago,
4:10some self-replicating molecules existed,
4:12and some of them replicated more
4:14successfully than others, and the ones
4:16that happened to build protective
4:17structures around themselves, so cell
4:19walls, then cells, then multicellular
4:21bodies were better at replicating than
4:24others. So, over billions of iterations
4:26or natural selection, we have genes that
4:29are very good at building bodies that
4:31can survive. And then, human
4:34consciousness became a thing. I don't
4:36know how. Don't ask me how. That's not
4:37what we're here to talk about. But the
4:39same process continued. So, we have
4:41genes, which selected and
4:44self-replicated, and then we have memes.
4:47And this is the difficult part because
4:50when you think of memes today, you think
4:51of memes on your phone, like your friend
4:53sends you a meme. But what a meme really
4:55is is a unit of culture that is spread
4:59from mind to mind. So, think words or
5:01language or concepts or the beliefs that
5:04your parents passed down to you that you
5:06didn't even have the time to question
5:08because like you didn't know any better
5:10as a kid or when you went to school and
5:12you were you were rewarded for getting
5:15good grades and punished for getting bad
5:17grades or if throughout your entire
5:19childhood you were told to go to school,
5:21get a job, retire at 65. And in today's
5:24world, with AI and things accelerating
5:26so quickly, that's not beneficial for
5:28your future, but so many people are
5:30stuck in that paradigm. The memes that
5:32compose their mind and dictate their
5:34actions are not aligned with what's
5:35going to lead to success in today's
5:37world. But the thing about these memes
5:40is that one, they compose your mind. If
5:43your genes kind of compose your body or
5:46dictate how like what your body can do,
5:49then memes do the same thing for your
5:51mind. So, ideas, beliefs, habits,
5:54practices, traditions, other things of
5:57that nature. And the thing with memes,
5:59if I haven't already said this, is that
6:01they're just like genes. Like they have
6:02naturally selected over time and culture
6:06through creation and destruction to the
6:08point where the memes inside of our
6:09head, their sole goal is to persist.
6:13Their sole goal is to go on, to survive,
6:15to self-replicate. That's why the memes
6:17that compose who you are right now don't
6:20want you to change, and they're going to
6:23try to avoid changing by all means
6:25possible. We'll learn more about that
6:27soon. Now, one important survival
6:29mechanism of memes are institutions and
6:32ideologies. We create larger structures
6:34like religions or nations or political
6:36parties and corporations that have the
6:38goal of protecting, perpetuating, and
6:40replicating the beliefs and values they
6:42were founded on. Religions want more
6:45members, nations want more control, and
6:47corporations want more customers. So, a
6:49religion that tells its adherents to
6:51have children and convert other people
6:53to the religion is obviously going to
6:56spread and replicate faster than a
6:58religion who just tells people to not
6:59have kids and stay quiet, obviously. And
7:02I promise we're getting to a point here
7:03because what I'm saying is that the
7:05memes in your head, who you are, how you
7:07act, are shaped by those memes or the
7:09information or the language or the words
7:11or the identifications or the concepts
7:14or all of these that composed your mind.
7:15It's really hard to put together. These
7:17things are fighting for survival because
7:19they're like genes. They naturally
7:21self-replicated into what they are
7:23today. So, just like the example I just
7:25gave with the religion that tells people
7:26to have more kids and to convert other
7:28members applies to other things as well.
7:31It applies to political ideologies. It
7:33applies to brands, conspiracy theories,
7:36jokes, fashion, the clothes that you
7:38wear, video games, which video games you
7:41play, which video games you identify
7:42with, the culture within that. Coffee,
7:45alcohol, whether you're team Apple or
7:47team Android or team Claude or team chat
7:49GPT or team anti-AI or team keto or team
7:52carnivore or team vegan. And really
7:54anything else. And now these are things
7:56that are outside of you, right? The
7:58point that I'm trying to get at here and
8:00why I talked about the complicated
8:02things such as memes. You don't really
8:04need to understand that. What you need
8:06to understand is that everything is a
8:08religion. Your morning routine is a
8:10religion. Your political opinions are a
8:12religion. Your identity as a gamer, a
8:14lifter, a minimalist, a stoic, a craft
8:17beer enthusiast, they're all religions.
8:19And with social media and global access
8:21to information, we're experiencing the
8:23religionization of everything. Very few
8:26people actually do things because they
8:28want to anymore. Almost everyone's life
8:31is built around actions that allows them
8:33to fit in to the digital tribe or the
8:35digital culture. So, our bodies are
8:38built by genes to replicate genes. Our
8:41identities are built by memes to
8:44replicate memes. And again, a meme is a
8:47unit of culture that spreads from mind
8:49to mind. And its only goal or observed
8:52goal, when you look at what a meme does,
8:55is it tries to persist. It tries to
8:58survive. So, I think you get it, right?
9:00I think you understand that your mind is
9:03trying to survive. So, how does this
9:05actually relate to getting stuck in this
9:07vicious cycle of trying to achieve a
9:09goal that you say you want to achieve,
9:11but then just falling off and kind of
9:14getting stuck in getting motivated,
9:17falling off, getting motivated, falling
9:18off. What does it have to do with that?
9:20It has to do with the fact that your
9:22mind is a self-deception machine. When
9:24you try to pursue a goal that would
9:26fundamentally change who you are, so
9:28your self-image, your identity, it's
9:31hard to conceptualize that there is a
9:33mental body, that there is a you because
9:36you think your body is you and that
9:38you're just you, but it's a composition
9:40of these ideas, beliefs, world views,
9:42etc. that were conditioned into your
9:44head by your parents, teachers, and
9:45peers, and that you never really had the
9:47chance to question because you didn't
9:49know any better as a kid. You haven't
9:51observed and examined what is this like
9:53web of ideas that actually composes who
9:56I am. And so when you try to change who
9:58you are, it's very difficult to notice
10:00because your mind doesn't want you to
10:02notice, right? The memes in your head
10:04are trying to survive and replicate. So
10:06your ego starts throwing out defensive
10:08reactions left and right. Your mind
10:10starts to flood with anxiety, fear of
10:12failure, irrational thinking, and the
10:14closest distraction that will give you a
10:16quick hit of comfort. It's like an
10:18addict going through withdrawals, and
10:19those things, the anxiety, the fear of
10:21failure, really your old identity trying
10:24to claw its way back, is kind of
10:26synonymous with like in the past, if you
10:28were attacked, or even now if you're
10:30held at gunpoint, or you're about to
10:32die, your body goes into fight or
10:34flight. The same thing happens to your
10:36mind because your identity, or your
10:39psychological body, is trying not to
10:42die. Now the thing here is that this is
10:45just a natural thing. This is how we've
10:48evolved to be. So
10:51the cool thing about being human is that
10:53you can zoom out and detach from this
10:55stuff. So how do you actually zoom out,
10:58see the composition of your mind, and
11:00then make tweaks? How do you reprogram
11:02it so that the opposite happens? And
11:05this is the key point. This is the
11:07mind-blowing part if you get it. What if
11:10you felt threatened when you stopped
11:13pursuing a meaningful goal? So much so
11:16that achieving the meaningful goal
11:18didn't require much discipline because
11:20it's just a part of who you are. It's
11:22what your mind wants to survive. It's
11:26what your mind wants to do. So with that
11:28complex section out of the way, we need
11:30to actually get into the meat of what's
11:32going on here. We have to understand
11:34this survival game and we need to
11:36understand how to leverage it in our
11:38favor. And if it helps, just think of
11:40this as the mind game, right? This is
11:41the mind game of life. And most people
11:44don't play it because they are a slave
11:46to their mind. And the characteristic of
11:48being a slave to your mind is that you
11:50don't even know it. You don't know
11:51you're a slave. So, you need to become
11:53the master, so to say, instead. So,
11:56we'll start with this. Effortless
11:58self-discipline happens when the desire
12:00to become the highest version of
12:01yourself outweighs the desires of the
12:04lowest version of yourself. Now, the key
12:06point that I want you to understand here
12:08is that the core difference between
12:10winners and losers is that losers are
12:13afraid of success, while winners are
12:15afraid of mediocrity. As an example, the
12:17person who does not identify as a fit
12:20person will feel threatened when they
12:22make the commitment to be healthy. You
12:24may not consciously identify as an unfit
12:27or unhealthy person, but you identify
12:30with the preferences, habits, and
12:32abilities, or the properties of the self
12:34of your mind that an unfit person would
12:36have. So, when you try to change and
12:39become a healthy person, your mind
12:40starts sending warning signals because
12:43it's threatened. It starts asking
12:44questions like, "What happens to going
12:46out and partying with my friends? What
12:48happens to the late night snacks while
12:50watching Netflix? What happens to
12:51relaxing on the couch instead of going
12:53on a walk?" All of the little things
12:55start to surface, even if you're not
12:57consciously aware of them. Like, "Oh,
12:59what happens if I
13:00have to eat this bland food? You're
13:02telling me I can't add an entire stick
13:04of butter to this thing because it
13:06tastes better?" What if you never had a
13:08slab of butter in your food before in
13:09your entire life? What if you didn't
13:11even know that thing existed? Would you
13:12resist that change or would you eat the
13:14bland food? Or would the bland food be
13:16good to you because that's all you know?
13:18And so, if you're trying to be healthy,
13:19when the opportunity comes to go out or
13:22relax on the couch or add the slab of
13:24butter to your meal, are you actually
13:27going to be able to break that deeply
13:29ingrained pattern? The thing here is
13:31that the fit person would be threatened
13:34by the opposite. This is the key to
13:36changing your life in general. And this
13:38would baffle the unfit person because
13:41they don't understand it. They can't
13:42understand it. So, if a fit person
13:44travels to a place where they're not in
13:46their normal routine, or they don't have
13:48access to the same healthy food that
13:50they would eat, or their meal plan, or
13:52their diet plan, and let's say the only
13:55place they can eat is McDonald's, if
13:57that was their limitation, then they
13:59almost like spontaneously combust. They
14:01think they're going to lose all their
14:02gains in an instant. Every single
14:04negative thought starts to flood their
14:06mind of like, I've worked so hard for
14:07this. This is who I am. I'm a fit
14:09person. I If I touch this one single
14:12seed oil, then I die because I've
14:14studied all of the people on Twitter and
14:16Instagram talking about how seed oils
14:18are bad, and I've adopted that as a part
14:19of my identity. It's a meme that's
14:21trying to replicate and survive, and
14:22I've joined this tribe, and I want to
14:24feel as if I fit into that tribe. So, if
14:27I eat even one seed oil, I'm cast out
14:29from the tribe, and my mind is wired
14:32like my ancestors was. Me personally, I
14:34can't distinguish then from now, so I
14:37feel like I'm at threat. I feel like I'm
14:39going to die. Even though I don't
14:41specifically say that, that's what my
14:43body and mind feels. And because my body
14:46and mind have evolved to this point,
14:48it's going to fight tooth and nail to
14:51keep me the same, keep me the fit and
14:53healthy person that I identify as. Now,
14:56if you don't care about being healthy or
14:58unhealthy or whatever it is,
15:00almost everyone wants to make money. The
15:02same thing applies to every single
15:04domain of life. This is life. So, the
15:06businessman or someone who starts a
15:08business and is actually good at it, and
15:10it has become a part of their identity,
15:11they would feel like a failure if their
15:13revenue started to go down. So much so
15:16that they would do anything to get it
15:18back up. They're going to study, they're
15:19going going learn, they're going to talk
15:21to people, they're going to try to
15:22identify the bottleneck in their
15:23business. They're going to implement new
15:25things. They're going to fire people.
15:26They're going to do whatever they can to
15:28get the revenue going back up. They're
15:30going to compete with other people.
15:31They're going to copy other people's
15:33features, so on and so forth. They
15:34wouldn't be able to sleep at night until
15:36that problem is resolved. And now, some
15:38of this I'm being hyperbolic. This is
15:39the really extreme cases, but even in
15:41the subtle cases, it's enough to
15:43influence your behavior to the point of
15:46staying the same, which is the problem
15:47that we're trying to solve here. So, how
15:49did you actually get to this point in
15:51your life right now to the point where
15:52you can't change? It's so hard to
15:54change. You keep locking in and falling
15:56off. Well, when you were young, people
15:58expected you to act, think, and behave a
16:01certain way. Your parents were
16:02influenced by their parents and culture.
16:04Your parents' worldview was passed on to
16:06you as a child. You started growing up,
16:09maybe you rebelled a bit, but you
16:10couldn't escape the subtle programming
16:12from your teachers, peers, and even
16:14worse in today's world, social media.
16:16You could effectively search up any
16:17information on the internet and program
16:19yourself into being a part of a tribe
16:21whose general actions aren't beneficial
16:23to a meaningful future. Literally, the
16:25places that you hang out on the internet
16:27could dictate the entire outcome of your
16:30life, and you don't pay any attention to
16:32it. You just let all of these things
16:34unguarded go into your mind. And I mean,
16:37think about how just insane that is,
16:39right? You have this house that you live
16:41in. Are you just going to leave the door
16:43unlocked? And then, are you going to,
16:45like, I don't know, let everyone come in
16:47and party and just ruin your house and
16:50then leave or even just stay? Are you
16:52going to let people live in your house?
16:54Are you going to let 100 people live in
16:56your small apartment with you on your
16:58bed at like it just doesn't make sense.
17:00They're going to eat all your food.
17:01They're going to do every That's what's
17:02happening in your mind. But, the good
17:04thing is is that you can flip the script
17:06here. You can just turn it around. Not
17:09easily, but you can turn it around. You
17:10can change from a person who is
17:12threatened by success to a person who is
17:14threatened by failure. So, the thing
17:16here is I want to teach you how to
17:18weaponize your survival mechanism in
17:20your head and you'll get results from
17:22that, but you have to understand that
17:24you will still suffer until you
17:26transcend the game and that's what we're
17:27going to talk about in the last section
17:29of this video. Now, with that said, this
17:31isn't going to happen overnight. You're
17:33going to go through withdrawals. You
17:35will have relapses, but these things are
17:38what I found to be the most potent for
17:40recreating yourself. These aren't
17:41exhaustive, these aren't all of them,
17:43these might not even help you
17:44specifically, but these are what helped
17:47me. Now, all of these four things
17:48overlap and synergize with each other.
17:51So, one leads to another and they stack.
17:53So, the first thing is that you need a
17:55reason with extremely high gravitational
17:58pull and when that fades, you must find
18:00another because the most intense periods
18:03of my life came after I stumbled across
18:06a very intense reason to change. It was
18:08a reason with such an intense pull that
18:10I couldn't focus on anything else but
18:12actualizing the positive trajectory of
18:14my life. And the thing is, this reason
18:16doesn't last forever. You can quickly
18:17find yourself back in a rut months later
18:20because you let autopilot take over and
18:22it's difficult, it's very difficult to
18:24force this reason. I've talked about
18:26related topics on my YouTube channel a
18:28few times and whenever I put out a
18:31video, I can't help but think like, this
18:33just isn't going to hit for some people.
18:35This isn't going to hit for the majority
18:36of the people that watch this because
18:38they're not at the right they're not at
18:40the right phase in life in which this
18:42information will cause that spark to
18:45change. People try to do that all the
18:47time. They try to just force themselves
18:49into action or force themselves to think
18:51through
18:52everything and they still can't change.
18:54So, what has to happen here? You have to
18:57find the reason in a book, a
18:58conversation, or experience that happens
19:01at such a perfect moment that everything
19:03clicks for you. You have to discover it
19:05by breaking out of the familiar past and
19:07predictable future because for most
19:09people, right when they wake up, they
19:11are met with a thought that triggers a
19:13behavior, and instantly they are now
19:16operating as the past version of
19:18themselves. You think about the commute
19:20to work, which was stressful for you in
19:21the past, so you bring that feeling into
19:24the present, and now you're stressed and
19:26narrow-minded. Then the cascade
19:27continues. You experience the feelings
19:29and behaviors of your past, which create
19:31a predictable future that you don't
19:33want. You get stuck in this loop of
19:35living yesterday today. You don't do
19:38anything new. You don't break the
19:40pattern. And so, only in the unknown,
19:42only in the things that you haven't
19:44experienced so far, or at least
19:46internalized or made repetitive, is
19:48where you will find the novel insight
19:49that will launch you into the next phase
19:51of life. So, how do you start to live in
19:53the unknown? That leads to point two,
19:55which is that you need to become
19:56brutally aware of who you don't want to
19:59become. Now, in my opinion, the most
20:01powerful visualization exercise you can
20:03do is this. For the next day, look at
20:06all of your current actions. Look at
20:08them all. What you do when you wake up,
20:10what you do throughout the day, what you
20:11do at night. Now, sit with a pen and
20:13paper and write down exactly where your
20:15life is going to end up if you keep
20:17doing the same thing. And if you're
20:19honest with yourself here, the answer,
20:21preferably, would disgust you. And that
20:24disgust can be used as this ultra-potent
20:28fuel to slingshot you in a positive
20:30direction for quite a long time until
20:32you need a new reason. So, none of this
20:34is permanent. You aren't going to find
20:36your quick little fix that's just going
20:38to solve everything for the rest of your
20:39life. That's not how life works. Nothing
20:41is permanent. Now, the problem here that
20:43I've seen and experienced is that most
20:45people are just dishonest. This
20:47visualization of where they're going to
20:48end up in life doesn't really hit them.
20:51So, why doesn't it hit them? It's
20:53because the self doing the exercise is
20:56the self being evaluated. You are asking
20:58the current identity to honestly assess
21:01where the current identity is heading,
21:03but the current identity has a survival
21:05interest in not seeing this clearly,
21:07because seeing it clearly would mean
21:09death. So, you soften the blow. You
21:11rationalize it. You imagine future
21:12variables that may rescue you. So,
21:14changing right now doesn't really
21:16matter. So, for this exercise to work,
21:18you have to be able to receive the
21:21honest answer. And what helps is just
21:23grounding this in reality. So, you have
21:25to observe society. You have to observe
21:28the people around you. That's very
21:29potent. You have to find an anchor for
21:32where your life is going to end up. That
21:34could be in your parents. That could be
21:35in a random person at the grocery store.
21:37That could be a person at the gym. If
21:38you live in a city, just go walk out in
21:41the city and look at how lifeless people
21:43look. And another thing that is the real
21:45requirement here, which again is hard to
21:47fake, is that you need something that
21:49has already created a crack. So, when
21:51you actually do that exercise of
21:53visualization, it just splits you open.
21:55So, what creates the crack? For most
21:58people, something catastrophic has to
22:00happen before they actually make the
22:02real decision to change. So, their car
22:04has to break down before they realize
22:06how broke they are and that they're not
22:07able to afford it and so they have to
22:09actually do something to make more money
22:12to be able to fix it or for that not to
22:14happen again because they hated the
22:15experience so much. Or you have to have
22:17something like a health scare. Like
22:19maybe you need to have a heart attack.
22:21I'm not saying go and do that, but a lot
22:23of people they have that and they're
22:24like, "Oh I need to be healthy."
22:27Or something else happens like a parent
22:29or a loved one dies and it just hits you
22:32really hard. Or a very common example,
22:35when you're a kid and you go through a
22:37breakup and you're just like in
22:39emotional turmoil and so you decide,
22:41"I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going
22:42to get jacked and so on and so forth.
22:44I'm going to make sure this never
22:45happens again." And obviously that
22:47doesn't solve the problem. But you get
22:48the point that someone's behavior and
22:51habits can change very fast once they go
22:54through a catastrophic event. Now, point
22:55number three is that you need to change
22:58your environment faster than the
23:00identity can recalibrate because your
23:02old self is partly stored in your
23:04surroundings. The people you follow
23:06online, your bed, your routine, the
23:08people you hang out with. That's a big
23:10one and points to why so many people
23:12aren't where they want to be in life.
23:13Your identity is often programmed
23:15socially. The same person in two
23:17different friend groups will behave like
23:18two different people. More so, when you
23:20log on to social media, you also become
23:23a different person. So, a simple move
23:25here is to just wipe your phone or throw
23:28your phone in a lake and get a new one
23:30and start from scratch and
23:32you'll really be able to notice the
23:33threat response then. Well, "Well, what
23:35about all my contacts? What about all my
23:37apps? What about all my accounts?" It's
23:38like you're so tied to these things and
23:41you should be in many cases. Like I
23:43would do the same thing. I'd be like I I
23:45I I wouldn't know what to do if my phone
23:47just randomly got lost. Actually, right
23:49now, that's happened to me before.
23:51And the last time it happened, the last
23:53time I had to actually switch my phone,
23:54I really wanted to. I just started from
23:56a clean slate. If people needed to
23:58contact me, they would contact me. If I
24:00needed to contact people, I'd figure out
24:01a way to do so. If I needed something,
24:04I'd get it. But, if you decide to do
24:05this, wipe your phone. Only download
24:08what's necessary. Do just that. If you
24:10need to do something, then do it. Go
24:12through the friction of doing it. Don't
24:14make it this easily accessible thing. On
24:16a side note there, I just hate the fact
24:19that anyone can get a hold of you
24:21nowadays. Like literally anyone can just
24:24like text you or message you or email
24:26you or do whatever.
24:28That shouldn't happen. Like we're not
24:30wired for that. So, if I don't respond
24:32to an email that you sent, that's why.
24:34Personally, I think that social media
24:36should abolish the comment section. Not
24:39because there aren't good comments, but
24:40because that's the most toxic part of
24:41social media, where people go and
24:43identify with things so strongly. Like
24:45people don't even have a chance to form
24:47their own opinion because they're just
24:49bombarded from all angles. And now maybe
24:52we shouldn't abolish the comment section
24:54itself, but like something needs to
24:56happen. And most people can't handle
24:59themselves in the comment section. I'm
25:01not talking about my comment section,
25:03but when I look at comment section, it's
25:05very entertaining because it's just a
25:06war zone. Now, aside from wiping
25:09your phone,
25:10another difficult thing that a lot of
25:12successful people do is they just take a
25:13sabbatical. They just go for a week,
25:16often to the woods, or they rent an
25:18Airbnb at this remote location, just
25:20them, themselves. All they bring is
25:22their laptop. A lot of creatives do this
25:24if they want to actually re-spark their
25:25creativity and have better ideas for
25:28something important that they're working
25:29on, like if they're writing a book. But,
25:31this is something that you can do to
25:32immediately just remove yourself from
25:34your environment and form new habits and
25:37behaviors. Now, beyond that, if you want
25:39to change your life fast, the most
25:41useful thing you can do is immerse your
25:43mind in the environment of your future
25:45self. Bathe your psyche in the opinions,
25:48beliefs, and education that person would
25:50have without judgment. So, when I was
25:52first getting started in business, I was
25:54just curious about business, right? I
25:56didn't know where to start, I didn't
25:58know where to learn, I didn't know what
25:59kind of business to start. And I
26:00searched for courses, and I took a few,
26:02and they didn't really make sense. It's
26:04like
26:05like I took a digital marketing course,
26:07and it taught me about Mailchimp and
26:09other things. I'm like, "What do I do
26:10with this?" Like,
26:12I don't know if that makes sense to you
26:13guys now, but like as someone who knew
26:15nothing prior, it's like, "Why am I
26:16learning Mailchimp? What What do you
26:18mean emails? What do you mean lead
26:19magnet? I have to
26:21do this stuff for what?" It just didn't
26:22make sense. So, it wasn't until
26:25everything that I read, every video that
26:27I watched, every person that I followed
26:29online, and all of the conversations I
26:31had revolved around business and
26:33starting a business. That's the best way
26:35to learn. A course is very useful for
26:37learning structure knowledge, but the
26:38ins and outs and the opinions that all
26:40of the different angles are best learned
26:42by just like diving into a new
26:44environment where that's all there is.
26:47That's the beautiful thing about modern
26:49living today. In the past, you're just
26:51in your little tribe. Today, you can
26:52pick and choose. You can become anything
26:55that you want to because you can just
26:57plop yourself in the environment, deal
27:00with the discomfort, and you'll want to
27:02become that person because memes
27:05replicate. They want to survive. So, I
27:07would pick up tips and tricks from the
27:09videos, the books, the whatever. But
27:11more importantly, in this environment,
27:12if I wasn't building a business, I
27:15didn't fit into the environment. And so,
27:17that felt wrong. And so, inadvertently,
27:20I started a business so I could fit in.
27:23So, identity is created through
27:26learning. That's like the lesson. But
27:28the thing is that you're not learning if
27:31you're just reacting all the time or
27:33think you know everything so you're not
27:34actually absorbing all of the
27:35information. So, you must willingly
27:37expose yourself to perspectives that you
27:39disagree with and try to understand why
27:42they are right. Now, the fourth pattern
27:44here is that you need to increase the
27:45gap between impulse and response. And
27:48there is a meme going around a meme, an
27:51actual
27:52a a not actual meme on social media was
27:55going around where the background audio
27:57was like like break the pattern today or
28:00you'll repeat the loop tomorrow. And it
28:02was some like motivational thing. So,
28:04that's kind of what this is. Break the
28:06pattern today or you'll repeat the loop
28:07tomorrow. But the way that you detach
28:10from old patterns is to do nothing. You
28:13increase the gap because doing nothing
28:15is the only way that you can interrupt
28:17the survival mechanism in real time.
28:20Everything else from finding a reason to
28:21changing your environment happens
28:23outside the moment of the urge to remain
28:25your past self. Those things create
28:27better conditions, but they don't help
28:29you in the 3 seconds when your hand is
28:31reaching for your phone. And you can
28:32think of everything like you don't even
28:34notice it. It's not just your phone,
28:36it's everything. It's yourself. So, your
28:39job is to starve the old self that is
28:41trying to survive of the normal feedback
28:43it receives. And of course, this is a
28:45difficult practice, but you must observe
28:47and examine yourself throughout the day.
28:49Are you just repeating yesterday on
28:51autopilot? When you read an opinion or
28:53belief, are you going to solidify your
28:55own stance further by arguing with them
28:57in your head and saying how wrong they
28:58are? So, when you sit with this
29:00uncomfortable feeling without making a
29:01decision, you train your nervous system
29:03to tolerate the gap between impulse and
29:05action. From that neutral state, it's
29:07much easier to make a conscious choice
29:10in the right direction. Now, there are
29:11plenty of ways to train this gap. What
29:14I'm telling you here is something that's
29:16already been said many times before.
29:18There are very popular ways to train
29:20this gap, but they become popularized
29:22and kind of bastardized from what
29:24they're supposed to be. So, there's
29:25meditation, there's cold showers or cold
29:27exposure, there's fasting, etc. But,
29:29those things have become religions.
29:32That's the exact opposite of what we're
29:34trying to accomplish here. So, anything
29:36that helps you delay gratification is
29:38useful,
29:39but just don't join the religion of
29:41doing the thing. Like, you don't have to
29:43have an opinion on whether or not cold
29:45showers are good or bad. They're just a
29:46tool for increasing the gap between
29:48impulse and response. But, outside of
29:51all of those things, I don't think you
29:52need to do any of those aside from
29:54meditation, but like that's what I'm
29:56trying to say here. The most impactful
29:58thing you can do is to practice
30:00some kind of a 24/7 meditation. You have
30:03to become the observer of the self
30:06that's trying to survive. You You try to
30:08operate from a higher level of mind,
30:10from a more expanded level. You attempt
30:13to get really good at that, at expanding
30:15and contracting your mind, because
30:17that's what it can do. You can zoom out
30:19very far. You can hold a lot of ideas at
30:21once, and then you can zoom in, and you
30:23can work, and you can get in the flow
30:25state, and blah blah, it's like
30:26creativity and productivity, and it's a
30:28spectrum, and you expand and contract
30:29between it. And the further you can
30:31expand, and the deeper you can contract,
30:34in that contraction, you can get more
30:36focused work done, or more deep
30:39conversations done. You're zooming into
30:42reality right here, right now. What's
30:43the task that I'm working on? The
30:45expansion is like
30:47it's you probably felt it before. And
30:49it's just like training a muscle, right?
30:51You expand and contract. Eccentric,
30:53concentric. That's how you build the
30:55muscle. But the problem here is that
30:57most people just live in a perpetually
31:00zoomed-in state. We call it survival
31:03mode. So, the goal here is to just
31:05notice it,
31:06do nothing about it, and then neutralize
31:08the impulse. You kind of wait until the
31:10calm has arrived, and then you make your
31:13own decision in the direction you want
31:16to go. You make your own choice. So,
31:18that's kind of how you can weaponize
31:20your survival is you start to identify
31:22as the person you want to become. You
31:24put yourself in that environment. You
31:26reprogram your mind so that naturally,
31:29almost automatically, you start just
31:31doing the actions that are going to make
31:33you that person. But the thing here is
31:35that you're still playing the game.
31:38You're still going to be stuck in this
31:40kind of cycle of suffering. So, that
31:42leads to the last section, and the most
31:44important section, is that winning the
31:45game is how you discover it's the wrong
31:47game. So, we'll start with this. The
31:49greatest trait you can acquire is to
31:51work with tremendous intensity on the
31:53things that matter to you, and more
31:55importantly, be strangely unbothered
31:57when those things don't work out. So, if
31:59you're smart, you've noticed just that,
32:01that we've replaced one survival game
32:03with another. Meaning, we replaced one
32:06source of suffering with another.
32:08Because sure, learning how to stress
32:10yourself into becoming a
32:11hyper-successful businessman or building
32:13a an aesthetic physique is better, in my
32:16opinion, than stressing yourself into
32:18this endless loop of stress of being
32:21overweight and broke. But the problem is
32:23this. The business owner will be unhappy
32:25until they hit a certain level of money,
32:27like a hundred million dollars, but even
32:29once they hit that number, they still
32:31have the same identity. So, if they
32:32don't increase that amount, the money,
32:35and continue working, they will remain
32:37unhappy. It's the same old story when
32:39someone is working at a startup or a
32:41corporation or building a business for
32:43most of their life, and then they sell
32:45the business for a huge payout,
32:48they have this existential crisis.
32:49They're like, "I don't know what to do
32:50with my time. I'm depressed. I have all
32:52this money, but it's not making me
32:54happy." But that's kind of the thing is
32:56that you kind of have to experience it
32:58before you can transcend it. And the
33:00same thing happens for, let's say, a
33:02bodybuilder. Here, I'm using health and
33:04business as like major examples because
33:06that's a lot of my life. So, the
33:08bodybuilder, as an example, won't be
33:09happy until they get their pro card
33:12because that's their goal. But unless
33:13they have a shift in who they are, they
33:15will continue moving the goalpost until
33:17they have that existential crisis and
33:20they're forced to change after a period
33:22of a deep depression. And so, this is a
33:24crucial piece that so many people are
33:25missing is like you think you want the
33:27lives of the business and fitness
33:30influencers on social media, but if you
33:32look a bit closer, you can see very
33:34clearly that they are covering up their
33:36lack of fulfillment with more work. So,
33:38the goal then is to play the survival
33:40game because there is a great deal of
33:42fulfillment that comes from continuous
33:44growth, and life is a if you
33:45stagnate, but you must also transcend
33:48the game. You must also remain largely
33:49unbothered when things don't work out.
33:51So, the question then is, how does one
33:53become unbothered? And the hard thing
33:56there is that you can't try to be
33:59unbothered. You can't try to be cool and
34:02lax because the bothered self attempting
34:04to become the unbothered self is just
34:07another survival strategy. The person
34:09who says, "I'm going to detach from
34:11outcomes" has just made not being
34:13attached to outcomes the outcome they're
34:16attached to. So, it becomes the axis of
34:18their suffering. This is like a huge
34:20spiritual trap. It's like you read one
34:23spirituality book and then you kind you
34:25see that and you're like, "Hmm, this is
34:27like a higher form of being. If I just
34:30act like I'm that person, then people
34:32will perceive me as this like high and
34:34wise person, but you haven't put in the
34:36years of work to naturally become that.
34:39And that's the big trap. It's premature
34:42transcendent. So, I kind of just yanked
34:44your tail this entire video. And I was
34:46kind of hesitant to put this section in
34:48the video because what most people want
34:51on YouTube and in content is just like
34:53give me the actual strategy. Give me the
34:56Give me the cheap dopamine hit now. Give
34:58me the higher form of the cheap dopamine
35:00hit by watching
35:02a video [snorts] that promises them a
35:04lot of success so they can feel as if
35:06they know more than the other person, or
35:08they can feel as if they're making
35:10progress when they really aren't.
35:11Because in relation to this video, most
35:13people have to be deeply attached to
35:16something before their attachment
35:18becomes visible enough to see through,
35:20right? There is no quick fix to that.
35:22What you can do, however, for the sake
35:25of giving you something to do, is this.
35:27First, just continue increasing the gap
35:30between impulse and response. Work your
35:32psychic muscle. Expand and contract the
35:34mind and be aware of it. Become very
35:36familiar with what those states of
35:38consciousness feel like. Second,
35:39distinguish pain from suffering. Pain is
35:42a feature of life. Suffering is the
35:44identity's refusal to accept the event.
35:47Becoming more conscious and open-minded
35:49doesn't remove pain, but it removes the
35:51second layer. The businessman whose
35:53revenue drops still feels the punch, but
35:55he doesn't have to feel the subsequent
35:57spiral of this shouldn't be happening to
35:59me. I feel like a failure. My life is
36:02ruined. The intense and unbothered
36:04personality is powerful. It is near the
36:06pinnacle of human development across
36:08both material and spiritual planes. They
36:11are a walking contradiction. They fear
36:13mediocrity enough to work hard and
36:15they're unbothered enough to not
36:16collapse when things don't work out. It
36:18is the mark of a mature mind to be able
36:21to hold two opposing forces at once. I
36:23hope that you are able to one day master
36:25that state. Until then, thank you for
36:27watching. If I were to pitch one thing
36:29to you, it would be the paid version of
36:31my Substack, which is a library of AI
36:34prompts, writing strategies. When I say
36:36writing strategies, it's mostly like,
36:38how do you take your ideas and put it
36:40into a form that other people want to
36:42read, watch, study because if you're
36:45pursuing your life's work, you need to
36:46attract people to your life's work. So,
36:48that's kind of what it is and then
36:49marketing strategy. So, how do you
36:51actually take what you know, package it
36:53up into something valuable and get paid
36:55for it. And I recently added on, I'm
36:58going to be doing monthly live streams
37:00of breaking down other successful
37:01people, creators. They're going to be
37:03coming on. So, Max Bernstein just came
37:06on before I released this video and he
37:07went over his cognitive fingerprint,
37:10which
37:11is meant for people who feel like they
37:13have nothing to say or feel like they
37:15don't have ideas worth putting out into
37:17the world. And what Max does is with the
37:20help of AI is to help uncover the things
37:24that you do have to say and you just
37:26can't find them because they're stuck
37:27inside of your head. So, if you're
37:29interested, join that. There may or may
37:31not be a discount in the link in the
37:33description just for people who finished
37:34the video. But aside from that, like and
37:36subscribe. I'll see you in the next
37:37video. Bye.

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