How to Build Self-Discipline: The Mindset Method — Transcript

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1. 0:00let's talk about discipline
2. 0:03here's my transformation story in less
3. 0:05than five seconds i used to be lazy
4. 0:07self-absorbed did a lot of drugs i
5. 0:08sucked now i don't
6. 0:10plot twist but in that journey which was
7. 0:13for the record longer than five seconds
8. 0:14i had a really cool emotional growth and
9. 0:16that was from a place where i didn't
10. 0:17respect myself to a place where i did
11. 0:19what changed what was the secret
12. 0:21ingredient wanna know you guessed it
13. 0:23discipline baby it was doing the things
14. 0:25that i said i was gonna do despite
15. 0:27resistance which is incidentally my
16. 0:28definition for discipline this video is
17. 0:30how i cultivated it from a mindset point
18. 0:32of view and heads up this whole thing
19. 0:34works way better if you're
20. 0:35physiologically fulfilled drink enough
21. 0:36water eat the right food exercise all of
22. 0:38the cliches and also it'll happily work
23. 0:39in tandem with those classic discipline
24. 0:41hacks you know things like a pomodoro
25. 0:43clock or an accountability partner or a
26. 0:45guy named steve who you pay to stand in
27. 0:46the corner in your motivational quotes
28. 0:48at you every hour on the hour and that
29. 0:50right steve you can do it thanks bro and
30. 0:52remember that this mindset method is
31. 0:54just what works for me so if something
32. 0:56resonates use it and if something
33. 0:57doesn't ditch it alrighty
34. 1:00let's get disciplined
35. 1:01step one reframe discipline as a
36. 1:04function of self-love
37. 1:07there's this pretty iconic will smith
38. 1:08interview where he's talking about
39. 1:09discipline and the way that he talks
40. 1:11about it is it is a function of him
41. 1:13loving himself because he loves himself
42. 1:16he is going to treat himself like
43. 1:17somebody he loves the example he uses is
44. 1:20pizza you say to yourself hey man look
45. 1:23i know you want to eat that pizza and
46. 1:25it'll be really good but
47. 1:27i can't let you eat that man cause if
48. 1:29you eat that pizza you're gonna feel
49. 1:30like you know and i i just i love
50. 1:34you too much to let you eat that
51. 1:36self-discipline is
52. 1:39self-love
53. 1:40if you want to be happy you have to love
54. 1:43yourself i really like starting here
55. 1:45because i think that discipline can get
56. 1:47pretty toxic if it comes from the wrong
57. 1:48place so me for example when i was
58. 1:50trying to quit drugs on willpower alone
59. 1:52it just didn't work it would always be
60. 1:54short-lived and empty and full of guilt
61. 1:56and shame and i was just trying to turn
62. 1:58myself into this obedient robot but when
63. 2:00i reframed it as well i love myself
64. 2:02therefore i'm gonna treat my body as a
65. 2:04temple it became a lot easier and a lot
66. 2:06more sustainable now here's the cool
67. 2:08thing
68. 2:09it's a spiral self-love can give you
69. 2:11discipline but discipline can also give
70. 2:13you self-love and self-respect by acting
71. 2:16like somebody who you would respect you
72. 2:18naturally just by definition respect
73. 2:20yourself so i noticed a few years ago
74. 2:21that i really respected people who
75. 2:22conquered their fears and meanwhile i
76. 2:24had this fear of certain marine life
77. 2:26mostly squids octopi sort of sharks i
78. 2:28guess kind of even fish to be honest and
79. 2:31so i started getting into the ocean a
80. 2:32lot more and looking at these creatures
81. 2:34close up and after i did this i would
82. 2:36always be like damn i face my fears oh
83. 2:39well now i respect myself
84. 2:42cool
85. 2:43step two make discipline part of your
86. 2:45identity so to start this step we need
87. 2:47to take a mental shift and that is
88. 2:49except that being a disciplined version
89. 2:50of yourself is inevitable the reason
90. 2:52we're doing this is because people act
91. 2:54in line with the person that they think
92. 2:55they are very easy example michael
93. 2:57jordan thought he was a winner so every
94. 2:59time he'd lose he would double down to
95. 3:00win again because that is what was
96. 3:02consistent with his identity
97. 3:04similarly that dude that you went to
98. 3:05high school with who's now a massive
99. 3:07steiner won't get off the couch because
100. 3:09that is not in line with his identity
101. 3:11so the thing that i've found works for
102. 3:13me is painting a very clear picture of
103. 3:15who i'd look like if i was disciplined
104. 3:16if i did the things that i said i was
105. 3:18gonna do who would i be here's a few
106. 3:20questions to answer for what discipline
107. 3:22you is like what does their day look
108. 3:24like where do they live what do they eat
109. 3:26what do they wear
110. 3:28what does their week look like what do
111. 3:29they do for work who are they surrounded
112. 3:31by what do they think and feel what do
113. 3:33they say no to what do they say yes to
114. 3:35and write any other details that you
115. 3:37think will help you describe this person
116. 3:38now it's time for some mental gymnastics
117. 3:40fully accept that at some point in the
118. 3:42future you will be this person just be
119. 3:44open to that possibility whether it's
120. 3:46true or not is a different story and you
121. 3:47might feel some resistance from your own
122. 3:49head but you know push through that's
123. 3:51what it's all about
124. 3:52step three reflect this new identity in
125. 3:55your environment your environment is a
126. 3:56great way to outsource your discipline
127. 3:58and it's also a great way to give you
128. 3:59tangible reminders of the person that
129. 4:00you're becoming so you know when you go
130. 4:02to your hometown or go to a place that
131. 4:04you used to visit a lot and you kind of
132. 4:05get a sort of wave of nostalgia and also
133. 4:07a wave of cringe it's because there's so
134. 4:09many tangible reminders of the person
135. 4:11that you used to be your brain whether
136. 4:12it's conscious or not tears picking up
137. 4:14on all these physical cues and your
138. 4:15emotions and your actions follow which
139. 4:17can be negative but we can also use it
140. 4:19to our advantage so for this exercise
141. 4:21you want your environment to look as
142. 4:22much like what your disciplined self's
143. 4:24environment would look like a super
144. 4:26obvious example would be if you're
145. 4:28disciplined you was an athlete your
146. 4:29environment would be i leave my yoga mat
147. 4:31out i have weights here i've got a gym
148. 4:33bag at the door i wear activewear so
149. 4:35when i'm looking at a menu i pick the
150. 4:37healthiest thing things like that
151. 4:38tangible things that keep you reminded
152. 4:40of the future that you could have step
153. 4:42four
154. 4:43internalize the threat of not doing this
155. 4:45all right we're going advanced class now
156. 4:47we are gonna threaten ourselves into
157. 4:49being disciplined and this might not
158. 4:52work for everybody like i said at the
159. 4:53start this is just my method just take
160. 4:55what works and leave what doesn't but i
161. 4:57may as well go over everything loss
162. 4:59aversion is proven to be a more powerful
163. 5:01motivator than gain you would rather
164. 5:03avoid losing a dollar than gaining a
165. 5:05dollar the way that we can use this to
166. 5:07our advantage to trick our own brains is
167. 5:08to make us feel like we are losing
168. 5:10something if we're not disciplined for
169. 5:12example there's this website called
170. 5:13stick wherein they ask you to create a
171. 5:15commitment contract then you put your
172. 5:16money on the line let's say it's 200 or
173. 5:18something like that and you say unless i
174. 5:20do this one thing which i said i was
175. 5:22going to do unless i'm disciplined that
176. 5:24money is going to go to a cause that i
177. 5:26hate it's going to go straight into the
178. 5:28pockets of neo-nazis now not only do you
179. 5:30have the loss aversion of losing your
180. 5:32200 but you have it even greater because
181. 5:34who wants to give 200 bucks to neo-nazis
182. 5:36not me not at all not for a goddamn
183. 5:39second i'm actually using loss of
184. 5:41version as a motivator at the moment so
185. 5:42one thing that i've never been able to
186. 5:44properly nail is consistent youtube
187. 5:45uploads but this year i've decided to
188. 5:47try something different i've got an
189. 5:49editor but there is one twist i have
190. 5:51pre-paid them they get the money
191. 5:54regardless of whether i film something
192. 5:55or not the theory is that my drive to
193. 5:58not lose money is stronger than my drive
194. 6:00to skip a week of videos so let's see
195. 6:02how that pans out fingers crossed it
196. 6:04works but the key takeaway here is when
197. 6:06you're looking at being disciplined try
198. 6:07turn one of the habits that you want to
199. 6:08build into a system wherein loss
200. 6:10aversion can motivate you and then
201. 6:12replicate that loss aversion in your
202. 6:13life in a healthy way in order to get
203. 6:15you going well that was a mouthful
204. 6:18step five have a good system to start
205. 6:20things for me starting work is harder
206. 6:22than sustaining it it's like that first
207. 6:24push on the pedal of a bicycle it's
208. 6:25always gonna be a bit harder than the
209. 6:26one when you're actually cruising but
210. 6:28you can have all the self-love and
211. 6:29identity in the world but you won't be
212. 6:30disciplined unless you actually start
213. 6:32doing something so i've got two
214. 6:33techniques here that i split into
215. 6:35starting systems and eliminating
216. 6:37friction a starting system is just
217. 6:38whatever gets you going so one thing for
218. 6:40me as an author still feels new to say
219. 6:43that i'll often not really feel in the
220. 6:44mood to write and this is because it's
221. 6:46hard who wants to do hard things my
222. 6:48starting system to get over this is to
223. 6:50write what i hate it's to rant and
224. 6:52usually i'll just pick some extended
225. 6:53family member that i don't like and just
226. 6:55have a little rant about them for five
227. 6:57minutes and then oh now i'm typing now
228. 6:59the good words that i actually wanted to
229. 7:00write aren't as difficult i've started
230. 7:01the bike now i'm pedaling life is good
231. 7:04another starting system was one that my
232. 7:05brother was telling me about he was
233. 7:07having trouble getting up out of bed in
234. 7:09the morning he just kept hitting snooze
235. 7:10on his alarm clock which i think we all
236. 7:12can relate to and so we got this app
237. 7:14called barcode alarm clock the alarm on
238. 7:16your phone won't turn off until you scan
239. 7:18a barcode so he would set that barcode
240. 7:20to the coffee in his kitchen so he would
241. 7:22have to get up walk to the kitchen now
242. 7:24he's at the coffee he may as well make
243. 7:25himself the coffee and now he is awake
244. 7:28what i really like here is he made
245. 7:29starting pretty much non-negotiable the
246. 7:31second bucket of starting things is
247. 7:33eliminating friction i went through a
248. 7:34dark period of my life where i was a 5
249. 7:36am gym guy i'm sorry that was wrong i
250. 7:39shouldn't have done it but i remember
251. 7:40when i was starting to build this habit
252. 7:41i would use any excuse not to go to the
253. 7:43gym so my alarm would go off at 5 00 am
254. 7:45and i'd be like well i don't know where
255. 7:47my shoes are in this exact moment guess
256. 7:49i'm sleeping eliminating friction is
257. 7:51just having all your gym gear set out
258. 7:52the night before the late mitch hedberg
259. 7:54had this joke about bread you know that
260. 7:56petra's farm better that stuff is fancy
261. 7:58man
262. 7:59it's wrapped twice
263. 8:01you open it and it still ain't open
264. 8:04that's why i don't buy it i don't need
265. 8:06another step between me and toast
266. 8:07eliminating friction is taking out the
267. 8:09steps between you and whatever your
268. 8:11toast is if it's drawing it's having
269. 8:13your book and pencil ready to go before
270. 8:14you start work if it's running it's
271. 8:16having all your gear in one spot so you
272. 8:18don't have to look around the house
273. 8:19trying to find them and if you've got a
274. 8:20passion for art heists and you want to
275. 8:22steal the mona lisa it's all about
276. 8:23having your gloves and grappling hook by
277. 8:25the door not in your storage locker not
278. 8:27in the cupboard make it easy eliminate
279. 8:29that friction
280. 8:30you've got this steal that artwork
281. 8:33step six have a good method to sustain
282. 8:35things this step is all about making
283. 8:37sure you don't burn out we don't want
284. 8:38that discipline can exhaust you now with
285. 8:41this step i will just say as a big
286. 8:43disclaimer i don't have a chronic
287. 8:45illness i don't have kids i'm working
288. 8:46with a pretty able body and a pretty
289. 8:48open schedule so i am playing on easy
290. 8:50mode you might be playing on hard mode
291. 8:51so you might need more rest or you might
292. 8:53need more time for your family for
293. 8:54example but for me the most sustainable
294. 8:56method and i hate that this is true
295. 8:59is the work week the actual monday to
296. 9:02friday nine to five this never used to
297. 9:03be true for me but taking weekends has
298. 9:05been the biggest change to me being able
299. 9:07to sustain discipline without burning
300. 9:10out and what this looks like tangibly is
301. 9:12if it's monday to friday nine to five
302. 9:14i'm working i take nights i take
303. 9:15weekends i make sure i sleep all of that
304. 9:18your system might look totally different
305. 9:19but what you want to find is a weekly or
306. 9:22a daily or a monthly routine then make
307. 9:23sure that you are not getting exhausted
308. 9:26way easier said than done but yeah this
309. 9:28step is about finding a sustainable
310. 9:29routine and finding what you can do when
311. 9:31you're not working that fills you with
312. 9:33energy and if you are looking for what
313. 9:34energizes you just at the end of every
314. 9:36day for about a month ask yourself just
315. 9:38a notes app on your phone what energized
316. 9:39me today and then at the end of the
317. 9:41month look for the commonalities i can
318. 9:42pretty much guarantee that there'll be
319. 9:44something that shows up a lot more than
320. 9:45other things and for me if i do more of
321. 9:47that thing it stops me from burning out
322. 9:49step seven
323. 9:50at some point the only true path is to
324. 9:52just do it i find any time that i'm
325. 9:55looking for a hack that side steps just
326. 9:57do it i've already lost and when i say
327. 9:59just do it i am talking about literally
328. 10:01doing the work doing the workout
329. 10:02stealing a mona lisa but thankfully what
330. 10:04i have found is you can make just doing
331. 10:06it come more naturally with something
332. 10:07called discomfort training we're all
333. 10:09familiar with that probably zen buddhist
334. 10:11quote how you do anything is how you do
335. 10:13everything the way that you act in small
336. 10:15situations will often be the way that
337. 10:16you act in bigger ones discomfort
338. 10:18training is something that uses this to
339. 10:20your advantage it's like going to the
340. 10:21gym for your willpower and it's a way of
341. 10:23building up that muscle so that you'll
342. 10:24have it there ready to go when you
343. 10:26actually just need to just do it so how
344. 10:28do you get your reps in how do you
345. 10:29actually build up the willpower what is
346. 10:31discomfort training it's pretty simple
347. 10:32it's just doing small things that make
348. 10:34you uncomfortable it's basically in
349. 10:36micro moments in your life choosing the
350. 10:37less comfortable option for example if
351. 10:39you're somebody who gets bored easily
352. 10:40next time you're in a waiting room or in
353. 10:42a queue don't pull out your phone that's
354. 10:44discomfort training baby the most common
355. 10:46example i hear is having cold showers
356. 10:48for me the most common example i use is
357. 10:49the two minute rule if something takes
358. 10:51less than two minutes i do it
359. 10:52immediately and by practicing discomfort
360. 10:54in these small moments the idea is that
361. 10:55it builds up and creates discipline
362. 10:57throughout the rest of your life
363. 11:00[Music]
364. 11:06so
365. 11:07you feeling more disciplined
366. 11:09the reality is that discipline and
367. 11:11resistance are lifelong battles we're
368. 11:12all just climbing a mountain with no top
369. 11:14but the cool part is if you get the
370. 11:15foundation the mindset right it makes it
371. 11:17so much easier ain't that right steve i
372. 11:19believe in each and every one of you
373. 11:20steve
374. 11:22subscribe if you're new if you want my
375. 11:23book it's out now the links are in the
376. 11:25description your head is a houseboat all
377. 11:27about mental health and mental clarity
378. 11:28so give it a shot if you can have an
379. 11:30amazing day and good luck with
380. 11:31discipline
381. 11:32catcher