How to Become a Confident Muslim? l Dr Sh Haifaa Younis — Transcript
Full transcript
- 0:00Go ahead and do a brief introduction of
- 0:01Dr. Haifaa Younis. Uh she is the founder
- 0:03and chairman of Jannah Institute. She
- 0:05teaches seminars on the thematic
- 0:07commentary of the various chapters of
- 0:09the Holy Quran and their practical
- 0:11relevance in our day-to-day living. She
- 0:13is passionate about spreading the word
- 0:15of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala and igniting
- 0:17the love of Islam and the Quran through
- 0:19her teachings. Today, Dr. Haifaa will be
- 0:21discussing discussing crucial topics of
- 0:24navigating life as a confident Muslim.
- 0:27Welcome Dr. Haifaa Younis, VICS visiting
- 0:29scholar.
- 0:31Jazak Allahu Khair. Assalamualaikum.
- 0:34Masha Allah tabarak Allah. Is that
- 0:36normal every Friday?
- 0:39Masha Allah. And then Allah Subhana Wa
- 0:41Ta'ala said "Lildhakari mithlu hadhil
- 0:42unthayayn."
- 0:44The man usually inherit double the
- 0:46woman, right?
- 0:48Looks like in lectures it's the
- 0:49opposite.
- 0:51So alhamdulillah rabbil alameen.
- 0:52Bismillah walhamdulillah wassalatu
- 0:54wassalamu ala rasulillah
- 0:56wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man walalah.
- 0:58Allahumma allimna ma yanfa'una wanfa'na
- 1:00bima allamtana. Innaka sami'un mujibud
- 1:02du'a. Allahumma inni a'udhu bika min
- 1:04ilmin la yanfa' wa qalbin la yakhsha' wa
- 1:06nafsin la tashba' wa du'ain la yusma'.
- 1:09Rabbana la tuzigh qulubana ba'da idh
- 1:11hadaytana wa hablana min ladunka rahmah.
- 1:14Innaka antal wahhab. Rabbi ishrah li
- 1:16sadri wa yassir li amri wahulul uqdatan
- 1:18min lisani yafqahu qawli. Alhamdulillah
- 1:21rabbil alameen. This is my first program
- 1:23as your visiting scholar. May Allah
- 1:25Subhana Wa Ta'ala make me worthy of
- 1:27these titles and may Allah Subhana Wa
- 1:28Ta'ala give you more and give you more.
- 1:31Uh
- 1:32knowledge and more important than
- 1:34knowledge as most of you, if not all of
- 1:36you know, is that we walk the talk as I
- 1:39always say. One of the first statements
- 1:42I learned from my teachers is walk the
- 1:45talk. Because we attend a lot of
- 1:47lectures, a lot of programs. You live in
- 1:50a city you don't know because you live
- 1:52in Dallas, but I live in California.
- 1:54It's called the Mecca of knowledge
- 1:56of the states.
- 1:58That's how it is. Everybody talks about
- 2:00Dallas. When there was a debate whether
- 2:03I'm moving to Dallas or staying in back
- 2:05in Irvine and Irvine won at the end.
- 2:08The question was why do you want to move
- 2:10to Dallas? They have everybody there.
- 2:13Which is true.
- 2:16But that's also bring with it a lot of
- 2:17responsibility.
- 2:19Because what are you doing with all this
- 2:21knowledge you have?
- 2:23With all these institutes, with with all
- 2:25these visiting scholars, let alone your
- 2:27resident scholars. So let's first all of
- 2:30us put this
- 2:32as my daily theme.
- 2:34As a person who lives in Dallas, a man,
- 2:37young man, young woman or woman,
- 2:41know the ne'er that Allah gave you.
- 2:44If you don't know what Allah gave you
- 2:46and you take it granted for granted,
- 2:49sooner or later, you know what will
- 2:51happen.
- 2:53What will happen? Anybody can answer me.
- 2:55Both sides. Allah will take it away.
- 2:58Because he will say, "You know what?
- 3:00They don't know the value.
- 3:01Fine. I'll take it away and I'll give it
- 3:03to somebody else."
- 3:05So when I come to this masjid and I
- 3:06travel almost every weekend to
- 3:08everywhere including in the world, my
- 3:10expectation here is way higher.
- 3:14So I've definitely I'm raising the bar
- 3:16in this especially in VRIC.
- 3:18The bar has to be much higher. Not only
- 3:21in knowledge, which mean when I ask you
- 3:23will answer me, but in practice.
- 3:27So exactly when we enter the masjid,
- 3:29again brothers and sisters, we enter the
- 3:31masjid, what do we feel? What is this
- 3:34place? How do I behave? How do I sit?
- 3:37How do I talk? I don't need someone to
- 3:40remind me no food or drink. I'm not
- 3:42going to do it. It's the house of Allah.
- 3:44I have heard so many lectures. I have
- 3:47this and that. So the bar is already
- 3:50raised for you people of Dallas,
- 3:52specially VRI see.
- 3:55Be up to it.
- 3:57Be up to it. And again, when you travel
- 4:00somewhere else,
- 4:01more than welcome can come and visit us
- 4:04in Irvine.
- 4:05Then you will see where how much Allah
- 4:08gave you and how many people are trying
- 4:10to follow you. Everyone says, and I'm
- 4:13I'm again, it's very nice to have an
- 4:15outsider
- 4:16that is to masjid where it is the Mecca
- 4:19that all the masjids go and says, "Go
- 4:21and see what they are doing." One of
- 4:23them is you.
- 4:24My president, the president of the
- 4:26Islamic Center of Irvine, where I am now
- 4:28the resident is called texted me and
- 4:30says, "When are you coming next time? I
- 4:33want to come and see what is this VRI
- 4:34see."
- 4:36And it is not about the beauty. This is
- 4:38way more beautiful, but there is a lot
- 4:40of a beautiful masjid also.
- 4:42The beauty, the place doesn't make
- 4:44things a special.
- 4:46It's the people inside.
- 4:48The people of Mecca were Quraysh, but it
- 4:51is the believers who made Mecca special.
- 4:54So hopefully all of you, everybody, and
- 4:58especially the youth who are growing up
- 5:00in this near Mecca, you will be
- 5:01different and Allah will expect
- 5:03different from you. Did I raise the bar
- 5:05already?
- 5:06Yeah, Rabbi Amin. Alhamdulillah.
- 5:09So I love the topic. I didn't choose it,
- 5:11by the way. I'm a guest, so I have to
- 5:13honor the host. What is a confident
- 5:17Muslim? Now you Some of you may used to
- 5:19my style and I'm going to share it with
- 5:22the brothers, too. We're going to talk.
- 5:24If I will talk only at 5-10 minutes, you
- 5:27will be bored. And you say, "You know
- 5:28what? I'm going to go home and listen to
- 5:29her on YouTube." What is confident
- 5:33Muslim mean? One, and if you don't mind,
- 5:36raise your hands. I'll take one from the
- 5:37sister, one from the brother. What is a
- 5:39confident Muslim mean?
- 5:41I think it means that to live up your
- 5:44So to live up a confident Muslim to live
- 5:47up your Islamic value. Anyone from the
- 5:49brothers?
- 5:51Anybody want to define it?
- 5:53Have you ever thought of this? Am I a
- 5:56confident Muslim? Are you a confident
- 5:58Muslim? Are you?
- 6:01So, you need to look at what confident
- 6:03and what a Muslim. Muslim we all know
- 6:06externally.
- 6:08A Muslim, we all know what is Islam. The
- 6:11famous Hadith of Sayyidina Jibreel and
- 6:12to mean by Allah and
- 6:16the shadow and light of Allah and
- 6:17Muhammad and Rasulullah what to give us
- 6:19Allah what to give us a car to some of
- 6:22them what to have your bait in the stuff
- 6:23that is similar. You know the five
- 6:25pillars of Islam that everybody is
- 6:29know or everybody should know, which is
- 6:31basically
- 6:33bear witness Allah is one and then you
- 6:35perform salah, you do zakat if you are
- 6:37eligible and you fast Ramadan if you can
- 6:40and you go to Hajj. Is that what we mean
- 6:42by the confident Muslim?
- 6:45There's way more.
- 6:47And if I and you and we
- 6:51do number two
- 6:54So, I'm going to divide it in one and
- 6:55two. One is the confident.
- 6:57Two is the Muslim.
- 6:59If I am the true two
- 7:02the confident is is taken is is granted.
- 7:06Are you all with me?
- 7:08What the what what what does this mean?
- 7:11Who is the real Muslim?
- 7:13I'm not talking about the external.
- 7:16I'm not talking about the external. If
- 7:18all if it's only the external, then
- 7:20there is no need to discuss this topic
- 7:22because we are all the external or
- 7:23sitting in the masjid. There has to be
- 7:25more than that.
- 7:27The real Muslim is and I highly
- 7:29recommend everybody here. Again, I'm
- 7:31raising the bar for you.
- 7:33Is just just Google or go and read how
- 7:37did the Rasul Allah Wasallam in
- 7:39different
- 7:40Hadiths define the Muslim.
- 7:43For example, al Muslim
- 7:46that's Hadith man selling Muslim on men
- 7:50Yadi he will he say no the real Muslim
- 7:53is the Muslim who the Muslims feel safe
- 7:57from his or her tongue and hand meaning
- 8:01again as I always remind myself and
- 8:03everybody what does this mean for me
- 8:05living now?
- 8:07Meaning when I come to this Masjid
- 8:09whether I entered from that door or I
- 8:11entered from this door or from the back.
- 8:14When I see you and you are the true
- 8:16Muslim number two
- 8:18I am not worried that you will hurt me
- 8:21or he will hurt me or I am going to hear
- 8:24something
- 8:25that is hurtful whether directly to me
- 8:29or whether to another person.
- 8:31Whether by saying, whether by acting,
- 8:34whether by the way I pray, whether I'm
- 8:36bringing my children with me to the
- 8:37Masjid may Allah bless the children
- 8:41but I'm not going to hurt the other
- 8:42people.
- 8:44Whether my children cries
- 8:46and then I leave them whether I'm
- 8:48getting my phone with me and the phone
- 8:49is ringing and I leave it.
- 8:52So number one, am I the real Muslim that
- 8:56Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala want me when I
- 8:58am going to be standing in front of him
- 9:00and all of us will. Am I going to say ya
- 9:02Rabbi this is me, this is what you
- 9:04wanted and I worked on it and here I am.
- 9:08So here you go.
- 9:10Woman as a new dinner Allah describe the
- 9:13dinner here as Islam but it is not the
- 9:15way I and you know woman as a new dinner
- 9:18women as a new watch a whole dinner
- 9:21wah who Muslim
- 9:24who is better Muslim than who take Islam
- 9:27as his or her religion wah who Muslim
- 9:30two things.
- 9:32The real Islam my beautiful sisters and
- 9:34dear brothers
- 9:36is you submit to the will of Allah.
- 9:40You all know what this means, but it is
- 9:42not easy to understand and practice.
- 9:46Whatever Allah wants me to do,
- 9:50I My answer is Who can answer me?
- 9:54It's a verse in the Quran.
- 10:00Allah said, "You going to move to
- 10:01Dallas." Allah said, "You staying in
- 10:04California." Allah said, "You're not
- 10:06going to have children." Allah said,
- 10:08"You will not get married." Allah said
- 10:10this, Allah said that through his
- 10:12actions and qadar, my answer is samena
- 10:15wa atana.
- 10:18Majority of us, humanity, we are part of
- 10:22it, living in this day and age of
- 10:26technology and everything is under my
- 10:28control, I think,
- 10:31finding this very difficult.
- 10:35So, the confident before the confidence
- 10:38comes in,
- 10:39I need to to be the real Muslim first.
- 10:43And again, I'm going deeper. I'm not
- 10:45getting externally. Externally,
- 10:46alhamdulillah, we are all.
- 10:48That's There's no doubt about that. But
- 10:50the reality of a Muslim, because if I am
- 10:53the real Muslim, samena wa atana,
- 10:55confidence follow
- 10:57like your baby follows you.
- 11:00That's number one.
- 11:01Now, come to the confidence, and then
- 11:03I'm going to share with you some
- 11:04examples from the real confident
- 11:07Muslims.
- 11:09So, we can compare. Maybe we are, and
- 11:12maybe we need some improvement, or we
- 11:14need
- 11:15a lot of improvement.
- 11:18So, what is confidence? Who can define
- 11:19confidence for me? This is not Islamic.
- 11:21What is confidence?
- 11:23Anybody?
- 11:26Yes.
- 11:27It's a simple question, right?
- 11:29Yeah, this is what we need. We need
- 11:31simplicity.
- 11:33And just think of the word. What is
- 11:34simple? What is confidence?
- 11:38Being unapologetic.
- 11:41It's a very dangerous word, Hadi.
- 11:44I'm glad you said it. Yes, about what?
- 11:49So, unapologetic about being a Muslim.
- 11:53There's a fine line between
- 11:55confidence and
- 11:58arrogance.
- 12:00This is exactly what I wanted to get to
- 12:02and alhamdulillah you said it.
- 12:04Very fine line.
- 12:06When I stand up in let's say in an
- 12:09interfaith
- 12:10and I'm sure you have this here and I
- 12:12say Islam is the truth.
- 12:15I come out as
- 12:17arrogant.
- 12:19I'm confident.
- 12:21It's true inside me, but I came out as
- 12:23an arrogant.
- 12:24When I if I'm practicing externally the
- 12:27way we are as sisters alhamdulillah the
- 12:29brothers, you come five times to the
- 12:31masjid Fajr especially and then you look
- 12:33down at somebody
- 12:35for whatever the reason
- 12:37Allah not yet blessed them with this
- 12:41then I'm not confident, I'm arrogant.
- 12:44It's a very fine line.
- 12:47Very fine line.
- 12:49And this is sometimes us people of
- 12:51masajid
- 12:52May Allah make us truly people of
- 12:54masajid.
- 12:56That Allah will look at us on day of
- 12:57judgement and says innam
- 12:59masajid Allah. Truly the those people
- 13:02who will flourish and build the masjid
- 13:05of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. May Allah
- 13:06make us not build only by money money
- 13:09and donation, but by presence.
- 13:11So, be careful. Always ask yourself, am
- 13:14I confident or am I arrogant?
- 13:18I'm give you I'll give you practical
- 13:20example of a confident Muslim.
- 13:23How many of you and I know this is to
- 13:24the brothers. You travel
- 13:26frequently.
- 13:28How many brothers do you travel
- 13:29frequently for business or you live here
- 13:31and family lives somewhere else? Can I
- 13:33see hands?
- 13:35Not okay.
- 13:37And how many sisters?
- 13:40Right. Do you pray in in the in the
- 13:43airport?
- 13:45Right? Then you're confident.
- 13:49You're not worried about somebody is
- 13:50looking at you.
- 13:52A lot of people are.
- 13:54Or what they will say.
- 13:56That's confidence.
- 13:59Did you get my point? Confidence is
- 14:02I know
- 14:04two things. I know.
- 14:06I know what I am doing is right not
- 14:09because it's my opinion and I studied
- 14:12and I have this degree and that degree
- 14:14cuz he said so. And who's he?
- 14:17I want to hear it.
- 14:19With capital
- 14:20H.
- 14:23And number two, the most important.
- 14:25That's why I asked about the prayer in
- 14:27the in the airport or in public places.
- 14:31I am
- 14:32110%
- 14:34sure
- 14:36he will never let me down.
- 14:39Never let me down.
- 14:42That's confidence.
- 14:44Confidence has nothing to do with other
- 14:46people, what they are doing. It's
- 14:48absolutely related to me.
- 14:51To me.
- 14:52I'll give you one example from the Quran
- 14:54not about the Muslim. Of course, he's
- 14:56Muslim by the general name of Islam but
- 14:59he came way before
- 15:02and that's Sayyidna Sulayman.
- 15:04Right? Sayyidna Sulayman, what is the
- 15:07uniqueness about Sayyidna Sulayman? Who
- 15:10can tell me? He's a prophet, I know.
- 15:12He's a prophet. What is so special about
- 15:14him?
- 15:15As a prophet
- 15:17he was very
- 15:19he He very
- 15:21rich.
- 15:23He made a dua. Rabbi
- 15:31He made a dua for himself. Anybody wants
- 15:33to be rich,
- 15:36don't go right and left. What kind of a
- 15:38business I'm going to do? What's
- 15:39investment? Go to the source and make
- 15:42the dua of Sayyidna Sulaiman. Rabbi hab
- 15:44li mulkan. Ya Allah, give me
- 15:46uh sovereignty
- 15:49that nobody after me will have it.
- 15:52And then he didn't say, "Well, maybe
- 15:54maybe not." He said, "Innak
- 15:56antal Wahhab. You are the one who gives
- 16:00without asking and gives wahhab when you
- 16:04give without people asking and without
- 16:06expecting back."
- 16:08Immediately after he said that,
- 16:11what is the next immediately?
- 16:13Fasakhkharna lahu r-riha tajri bi amrihi
- 16:16rukha'an haythu asab. This is in Surat
- 16:19Sad. Immediately Allah used fa.
- 16:22Fa is a letter in the Arabic language
- 16:25meaning it is happening immediately.
- 16:29Thumma, you would read so those of you
- 16:31who know Arabic. Thumma meaning it
- 16:33happened but it's after a while. This
- 16:36one right away. What did What happened?
- 16:39Sakhkharna lahu r-rih. The wind
- 16:42follows him.
- 16:44Why?
- 16:45It's not hurricane, no destruction.
- 16:48On the contrary, or rukha'an haythu
- 16:51asab. Wherever he goes, the wind behind
- 16:54him and then there is a prosperity where
- 16:56he is.
- 16:58When he made the dua to Allah subhanahu
- 17:01wa ta'ala, was he confident?
- 17:04I want to hear it.
- 17:05In what?
- 17:08In Raise one one person. What was he
- 17:10confident about?
- 17:12Two things.
- 17:14Two things. Nothing about him.
- 17:17I did it. I deserve it.
- 17:20He knew Allah is hearing him.
- 17:25Make
- 17:29the dua and you are confident.
- 17:32Have certainty that Allah will respond.
- 17:35So, number one, he asked Allah something
- 17:38impossible.
- 17:41But he knew Allah is hearing him.
- 17:45And number two,
- 17:47he knows Allah will do it.
- 17:49And number three, it's a subtle meaning
- 17:52because he used the name of Allah
- 17:54al-Wahhab. He didn't put al-Razzaq. And
- 17:57this is something you all have to learn
- 17:59when you read the Quran. Why this name,
- 18:01ya Allah? Because when you say Wahhab,
- 18:04when Allah
- 18:05gives something and it's usually related
- 18:06to Allah, doesn't mean you deserve it.
- 18:11It could be you don't deserve it at all,
- 18:13but Allah can give it.
- 18:16The confident Muslim.
- 18:18Now back to this day and age. And I'm
- 18:20here to speaking to the youth.
- 18:23Anybody here, how many people are in
- 18:24college here?
- 18:26College students?
- 18:27Not many. How about high school?
- 18:30High school. How many in
- 18:34Yeah, okay. High school. You live in
- 18:36Texas, it's a it's a plus.
- 18:40Me coming from California.
- 18:42We have way more challenges than you
- 18:44have.
- 18:46The confident Muslim.
- 18:48They stand up wherever they are.
- 18:51Wherever Allah put them.
- 18:53And they know
- 18:55when they are in that choice
- 18:58between
- 18:59practicing Islam
- 19:01physically
- 19:03or saying things pleasing to Allah in
- 19:05the best way
- 19:07versus going with the flow.
- 19:12That is the confident Muslim.
- 19:15I I had this last weekend. I was in
- 19:17Minnesota.
- 19:19And a a first year college student came
- 19:22to me.
- 19:24And says, "Shaykha, the first day in in
- 19:27school, in class,
- 19:30her professor
- 19:31looked at all the students and said the
- 19:33following." And she said, "He was
- 19:35looking at me."
- 19:37She was the only Muslim in that class.
- 19:39That's why I asked who's in college.
- 19:41And he said the following, "I want every
- 19:45student in this class to use pronoun."
- 19:50And you know what's pronoun?
- 19:52Yes, everybody?
- 19:54He,
- 19:55his,
- 19:57her,
- 19:58she.
- 20:01And he was looking at her.
- 20:04And he said it three times looking at
- 20:06her.
- 20:08Now, the confident Muslim is under
- 20:11the radar.
- 20:13Under the test.
- 20:16And she came to me and she says, "What
- 20:18should I do?"
- 20:21This is your confidence, your yaqin,
- 20:24certainty in Allah has been tested.
- 20:28And I said, "The first thing you should
- 20:30turn to Allah al-Wahhab.
- 20:33The first thing the confident Muslim
- 20:36is not what you say and do. It's your
- 20:38relationship with him.
- 20:41You turn to him and says, "Ya Allah,
- 20:43I don't want to do or say anything
- 20:44that's not pleasing to you.
- 20:47Show me
- 20:48how I'm going to handle this."
- 20:50With the certainty, that's the certainty
- 20:52of Sayyidina Sulaiman. He's listening.
- 20:55He will do it. He'll show you. He'll
- 20:58guide you.
- 21:00So, that's number one. And number two,
- 21:02you go and explain it in a very nice,
- 21:05confident way
- 21:07that this is not something we as Muslims
- 21:11say simply because there is
- 21:14we don't need to do that. And I went
- 21:17into a lot of details, but that's not
- 21:18the the point. The point is confident
- 21:22Muslim is the Muslim who
- 21:24knows it's the truth, but don't say it,
- 21:28but act by it.
- 21:31Nothing nothing
- 21:35sway you right and left.
- 21:37So, if everybody doing this, and this is
- 21:39what Islam want me, alhamdulillah,
- 21:41that's great. But if everyone doing
- 21:44something and Islam says no, now I need
- 21:46to find excuses
- 21:48to do to be fitting.
- 21:52Confident Muslim. So, Sayyidna Sulaiman
- 21:55the second test to Sayyidna Sulaiman,
- 21:57and I brought Sayyidna Sulaiman because
- 21:59Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave him all
- 22:01what we all want in this dunya.
- 22:04When they wanted to lure him,
- 22:08the Queen of Saba, Sheba, she wanted to
- 22:12sway him.
- 22:14Right? Qalat ya ayyuhal mala'u aftuni fi
- 22:17amri. Ma kunti qati'atan amran hatta
- 22:20tashhadun. She did consultation with her
- 22:22people. Says, "Okay, people, my people,
- 22:25tell me what should I do? He sent me
- 22:26this letter.
- 22:28And he want us to be Muslims."
- 22:30And the people said, "You decide. You
- 22:32are You are the leader."
- 22:34Now, she used a trick that many of us
- 22:37get tested this day and age. She said,
- 22:40"Let me try this trick. I'm going to
- 22:42send him a gift."
- 22:44And what kind of a gift?
- 22:47She's the Queen of Sheba.
- 22:49How did he respond?
- 22:53You do this.
- 22:55That is not what Allah wants me to do,
- 22:58but I'm going to get this.
- 23:00So, it's okay, let's do it just one
- 23:02time.
- 23:03I'm not a confident Muslim. What did he
- 23:06respond?
- 23:10You're trying to lure me with money?
- 23:13This is exactly how you read it. What?
- 23:17Do you think I'm going to change my mind
- 23:20because you're going to give me money?
- 23:23Now, the confident Muslim in the unseen
- 23:26for my end of Allah what Allah has is
- 23:29way better than what you are giving me.
- 23:33The confident Muslim
- 23:35is the Muslim who knows or Muslima
- 23:38who knows I know you again.
- 23:42As you are seeing it, as you're seeing
- 23:44Jannah.
- 23:45Not hearing or imagining, seeing that
- 23:48Allah and I want everyone if you're
- 23:51writing write this statement.
- 23:53Will never
- 23:55ever let you down.
- 23:59As long as you are pleasing him and
- 24:03doing what he wants you to do.
- 24:06And that's what he did.
- 24:08Being confident doesn't mean I'm not
- 24:10going to take the means.
- 24:12That doesn't mean I'm not going to look
- 24:14and see how should I prove my point and
- 24:17that's what say the Suleiman did.
- 24:25I want to do something. That's what he
- 24:27was thinking. I want to do something to
- 24:29impress her and tell her I am better.
- 24:32Meaning we are better. And he looked at
- 24:34his people and start planning.
- 24:37Confident Muslim when you are in that
- 24:39school
- 24:40when you are in that job when you are in
- 24:43that company.
- 24:46Don't be shy
- 24:47to say who you are.
- 24:51Don't don't say
- 24:53and I actually had again that question
- 24:55last week.
- 24:57I just can't fast on Monday and
- 24:58Thursday. And I said, "Why?"
- 25:01They said, literally, this is a question
- 25:02came to me. And the questioner said,
- 25:05"Because every Monday we have a meeting
- 25:08in the company at lunchtime, and the
- 25:10managers bring lunch." And I said,
- 25:12"And?"
- 25:14She said, "I feel uncomfortable
- 25:16telling people I'm fasting." And I said,
- 25:18"Why?"
- 25:21Why?
- 25:23And I said, "I work Well, you know, I
- 25:24had I would be happy from the word I,
- 25:26but I had my office and finally I worked
- 25:29in a hospital. And then every Monday I'm
- 25:31fasting. So, this is usually very common
- 25:32on Monday meetings and things. So, you
- 25:35go to the manager, she brings the food.
- 25:37And I said, "Of course I want the food,
- 25:39but I'm not eating with you. I'll take
- 25:41it home and I'll eat after sunset."
- 25:45First time everybody looking at me. Why?
- 25:48That's your opportunity to teach people
- 25:50about Islam. I said, "I fast Monday and
- 25:52Thursday." "Why, Dr. Younus?"
- 25:55I said, "Because we are we Muslim
- 25:58believe
- 25:59that our deeds is presented to Allah
- 26:02weekly deed presented to Allah on Monday
- 26:05and Thursday. And the most beloved deed
- 26:07to Allah is fasting and he will be
- 26:11happier when I present my deed and I am
- 26:14fasting."
- 26:16Is that Does that makes anybody
- 26:18uncomfortable?
- 26:20Did you not explain it the right way in
- 26:22the nice way? And they accepted. Now
- 26:24every Monday
- 26:26the food is on the side.
- 26:29It says, "Dr. Younus, your food after
- 26:31sunset."
- 26:35Why?
- 26:36That's a question I'm throwing it to
- 26:38everybody.
- 26:39Especially the youth.
- 26:41Why do you want to be like everybody
- 26:43else?
- 26:45Why not everybody else like me?
- 26:49And this is what Sayyidna Omar asked the
- 26:50Rasul Sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
- 26:52all I'm sure know the story.
- 26:55When they went so they call Sulhul
- 26:57Hudaybiyyah the Hudaybiyyah treaty.
- 27:00So basically story short long short they
- 27:03decided they that they are going to
- 27:05Mecca for Umrah everybody was wearing
- 27:07the the Ihram and they're going Rasul
- 27:10alaihi salaam Sayyidna Abu Bakr Sayyidna
- 27:12Umar was with them.
- 27:13Right? And then then the negotiation and
- 27:15they prevented them from going to Umrah
- 27:18and they reached the treaty. If you read
- 27:20the treaty and I'm sure this was
- 27:22discussed in this masjid. When you read
- 27:24when you read the rules that the Rasul
- 27:28alaihi salaam
- 27:30signed
- 27:31externally
- 27:33why?
- 27:34This is putting us down. Nobody could
- 27:37say anything cuz that's a Rasul alaihi
- 27:38salaam
- 27:40who stood up and asked
- 27:42anybody knows?
- 27:44I want to hear it.
- 27:45Sayyidna Umar.
- 27:48And he said the following confident
- 27:50Muslim.
- 27:53Pay attention. He said ya Rasul Allah
- 27:55alast an nabi Allah aren't you the nabi?
- 27:59And he was upset not for himself was
- 28:02upset for the deen.
- 28:05Because if you read it externally it is
- 28:08an insult to them to the Muslims.
- 28:11And Rasul alaihi salaam
- 28:13said yes.
- 28:14Are alast na al haqq are we not on the
- 28:17right path? He said yes.
- 28:20Didn't you promised us that you're
- 28:22taking us to Mecca?
- 28:25And then I'll tell you what he said
- 28:27later on in his life and Rasul alaihi
- 28:29salaam wa salaam
- 28:31he didn't get upset.
- 28:32He didn't tell him how dare you ask me
- 28:34this question.
- 28:37He said did I say this year?
- 28:40A qultu hadhal aam?
- 28:43And Sayyidna Umar didn't say a word.
- 28:47Later on he used to make a lot of
- 28:50istighfar to Allah
- 28:52because of the way he asked the Rasul
- 28:54alayhi sal Allah wa sallam. Many lessons
- 28:56from this incident.
- 28:58You ask
- 29:00because you care about this deen.
- 29:03Not because you are un not confident and
- 29:06you're not sure and why everybody else
- 29:09is not doing it because you care about
- 29:11this deen. But when you are wrong, this
- 29:13is what I want to come now.
- 29:15When you are wrong
- 29:18then you need to admit you are wrong.
- 29:21Otherwise, I am arrogant.
- 29:24The confident Muslim
- 29:26believe or Muslima believe he or she are
- 29:29human beings
- 29:31and human beings makes
- 29:34mistakes. There's a famous
- 29:37statement or a quote from the 1800, "To
- 29:41err is a human."
- 29:43"To err is a human." Sign that you are
- 29:46human is you make mistakes. Even if I
- 29:48and you are the best Muslims, we make
- 29:50mistakes.
- 29:51Our Rasul alayhi sal Allah wa sallam,
- 29:52those of you who were in the second
- 29:54Jum'ah, may Allah reward the khatib,
- 29:56quoted "Abasa wa tawalla."
- 29:58Right? The verse in the Quran where the
- 30:00Rasul alayhi sal Allah wa sallam made a
- 30:02mistake.
- 30:03And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
- 30:05reprimanded him in the Quran that I and
- 30:08you reading it right now. There's
- 30:10nothing wrong with that. When you make a
- 30:12mistake you say, "I did it." and
- 30:15apologize.
- 30:16Apologize. Don't be defensive.
- 30:20Don't say this and that.
- 30:22Because otherwise, you are now moving to
- 30:25arrogance.
- 30:27So, if I am reading, let's say, the Imam
- 30:30is here
- 30:31and he made a mistake in the qira'ah,
- 30:33which is very common. Right? And someone
- 30:36corrected him.
- 30:38The sign the Imam is confident Muslim
- 30:42accepted
- 30:44corrected, finish the salah and look at
- 30:47the brothers says Jazakallah Khair.
- 30:50Then I'm confident.
- 30:52Because I know who I am and my ability.
- 30:56Did you all get me?
- 30:57The confident is not arrogant I'm always
- 30:59right.
- 31:01Who are you to teach me?
- 31:03Right?
- 31:04Sayyidna Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz
- 31:06Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz you all know.
- 31:09He the
- 31:10an entourage from Yemen came to visit
- 31:13him.
- 31:14The leader of the entourage was 10 years
- 31:17old.
- 31:20And Sayyidna Umar was surprised you know
- 31:23they didn't find older person.
- 31:26So he asked him.
- 31:28The 10-year-old he said you are their
- 31:30leader? There's a lot of men behind him.
- 31:33He said yes.
- 31:34The boy the confident Muslim
- 31:37Now he's in front of Sayyidna Umar ibn
- 31:39Abd al-Aziz.
- 31:41So he felt that Sayyidna Umar
- 31:44is asking him because he's too young.
- 31:47What is that?
- 31:48And he said and Sayyidna Umar was young
- 31:52also relatively as a leader. So he said
- 31:55to him
- 31:56is the leader I'm just paraphrasing. Is
- 31:58the leader by age
- 32:01or the leader 10-year-old
- 32:04is the leader by age
- 32:06or the leader by qualification?
- 32:10Is that confidence?
- 32:12I want to hear it.
- 32:15Is Sayyidna Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz
- 32:17confident or arrogant? Hasha.
- 32:20If a 10-year-old look at you
- 32:23or me
- 32:24and answer this way, how will I take it?
- 32:2810 years of age
- 32:31Sayyidna Umar said
- 32:34by the meaning again by qualification.
- 32:36You know what the 10-year-old answered?
- 32:39He said, "That's why you are
- 32:42the leader of the believers, and you're
- 32:44not the oldest one."
- 32:47Is that confidence?
- 32:53That's what we need.
- 32:55What we need, as Al-Hujjat al-Baligha,
- 32:58Allah said it, "Falillahil Hujjatul
- 33:00Baligha."
- 33:02We all
- 33:03all
- 33:04need to be proud without arrogance.
- 33:09Confident without arrogance. Believe in
- 33:13what we believe truly
- 33:16without being arrogant. And I'm fo-
- 33:18focusing on our arrogance cuz I see it.
- 33:22And may Allah protect me, number one,
- 33:24and all of us.
- 33:26Confident.
- 33:28You are strong.
- 33:30They come together.
- 33:32And you live by this Hadith. For Rasul
- 33:35Allah alayhi salatu was salam,
- 33:36"Al-Mu'minul Qawi
- 33:38khairun wa ahabbu ilallah minal Mu'minid
- 33:41Da'if."
- 33:43The strong believer more beloved
- 33:46and more preferred to Allah than the
- 33:50weak believer. Wa fi kullin khair, but
- 33:52both there is goodness in them.
- 33:54Sign of strength is not being loud.
- 34:00Sign of strength
- 34:02not being
- 34:04arrogant and dominant.
- 34:06Sign of strength is not you never
- 34:09apologize and you never make a mistake.
- 34:11It's on the contrary.
- 34:14As Rasul Allah alayhi salatu was salam,
- 34:16when they came to him and took his
- 34:17opinion about the tree in Medina, and
- 34:20some of you may know the story.
- 34:22And then another man came to him and
- 34:24says, "No, ya Rasul Allah." Then he
- 34:26said,
- 34:27"Ahlul The people of Medina they know
- 34:30better than me."
- 34:32Confident.
- 34:34Now the the the I call it the
- 34:36million-dollar question.
- 34:38Where does the confidence comes from?
- 34:41Who can answer me?
- 34:42Or basically, how do I become confident
- 34:44Muslim?
- 34:46Yes.
- 34:49Faith in Allah. Absolutely.
- 34:52Before and after the faith of Allah,
- 34:55what do I need?
- 34:58What do I need?
- 34:59Knowledge. Knowledge in what?
- 35:04Knowledge of Dean, that's a huge word.
- 35:07You know, only the scholars who are here
- 35:10are the confident Muslim?
- 35:12You know, after that it doesn't apply to
- 35:14us?
- 35:16Otherwise, why we are talking?
- 35:20What kind of knowledge that every Muslim
- 35:23and Muslima
- 35:25need to know? Number one.
- 35:28Before even salah and siam and
- 35:29everything. The brothers are too quiet.
- 35:35You need to know who is he.
- 35:39Who is Allah?
- 35:42Who is Allah? So when you turn to him
- 35:45and says, "Ya Allah, protect me. Ya
- 35:48Allah, give me. Ya Allah, make me
- 35:51stronger." You know he hears and give
- 35:55and able to do.
- 35:57The confident Muslim is not the Muslim
- 36:00or Muslima.
- 36:02That one day need something, they going
- 36:04to try everything they know.
- 36:07And then when nothing works, they turn
- 36:10to Allah and says, "Ya Allah, please do
- 36:11it."
- 36:13I tried everything.
- 36:15That's not
- 36:17You put him, may Allah forgive me, put
- 36:19him
- 36:21the last resort.
- 36:23That's not the confident Muslim.
- 36:25The confident Muslim is the better.
- 36:29That's why everybody
- 36:31referred to
- 36:33before and after better they say or the
- 36:35Sahabi Shahid better. That companion was
- 36:39in better. That he's a different. Why?
- 36:42There were 300 versus 1,000.
- 36:45But they were confident.
- 36:47With all the confidence still Rasul
- 36:49Allah was Salam the night of the battle.
- 36:52Tomorrow is the battle. What was he
- 36:54doing all night?
- 36:56Making dua. You all know this. And what
- 36:59kind of a dua?
- 37:01The dua that is described one of the
- 37:04ways we learned. What is the etiquette
- 37:06of dua? Where is your hand in dua? Is
- 37:09they referred to his dua it during the
- 37:12night of better. And what did he say?
- 37:16If you will not let this to Allah, if
- 37:19you will not give this small group
- 37:23victory, who will worship you on this
- 37:26earth?
- 37:29Look even at the dua.
- 37:31If you will not give If
- 37:37you are not going to give victory to
- 37:39this small group 300, who will worship
- 37:43you?
- 37:45So if every woman
- 37:47feels uncomfortable and
- 37:49not confident to show herself as the
- 37:52true Muslima outside, who's going to do
- 37:56And if every brother can't say I'm a
- 37:59Muslim, I can do this, I can do that
- 38:01because I'm a Muslim, who's going to do
- 38:02it?
- 38:05We need to become and move
- 38:09and work on us becoming a confident
- 38:11Muslim. How many of you were here in
- 38:14during September 11?
- 38:18Right. So majority you were not here.
- 38:21That's when the confident Muslim was
- 38:23tested.
- 38:25You were not here. I was actually going
- 38:28to the I was in labor and delivery that
- 38:29day. And I remember I looked at the
- 38:31screen
- 38:32and I was like and then the nurse looked
- 38:34at me and said, "Dr. Younis, do you know
- 38:35what happened?" And I was looking and
- 38:37the second plane hit the tower.
- 38:40Tell us and everybody remember this what
- 38:44we went through.
- 38:46And then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
- 38:48tested us.
- 38:50Be confident.
- 38:53Be sure.
- 38:54And I will end up with this so I can
- 38:56leave some time for question and
- 38:57answers.
- 38:59Be like Sayeda Hajer.
- 39:01Woman and brothers and men.
- 39:05When Sayyidna Ibrahim left her alone
- 39:08in the middle of nowhere
- 39:10with a baby
- 39:11Ismail that they were waiting or Ishaq.
- 39:14No, Ismail is one. When they were
- 39:15waiting for him for years
- 39:18and he couldn't even look back
- 39:21cuz he couldn't. He was walking. He was
- 39:23moving cuz Allah told him leave.
- 39:25And and she said, "You're leaving us
- 39:27here? Are you leaving us here?"
- 39:31No answer. "Are you leaving us here?"
- 39:34Basically, death penalty.
- 39:36And he didn't answer. Three times.
- 39:38Finally, the confident Muslima
- 39:41she asked the famous question, "Allahu
- 39:44amarak? Did Allah
- 39:46ordered you?
- 39:47Did Allah ordered you?"
- 39:49And he said, "Yes, Allah."
- 39:51"By Allah is Allah?" He said, "Yes." She
- 39:54said, "Go.
- 39:56Allah will never let us down."
- 39:59That's the confident Muslima. That's the
- 40:02confident Muslim.
- 40:04I need this.
- 40:06The best way to get there
- 40:09one is dua. Ask Allah.
- 40:12We need to ask Allah for dunya, but
- 40:13let's make akhirah.
- 40:15And Islam is also part my dua. Ya Allah,
- 40:18antal Qawi, Qawini. Ya Allah, you are
- 40:21the strong.
- 40:22Make me strong and keep me strong.
- 40:26Ya Allah, teach me how to become strong.
- 40:29When you go first day in college, as you
- 40:31are entering, Ya Allah, teach me how to
- 40:35say the right thing, do the right thing,
- 40:37act the right thing. First day in your
- 40:39work
- 40:41and your name is Muhammad.
- 40:43Don't change it and make it Mo.
- 40:45No.
- 40:47It's Muhammad. Alayhi salatu was salam.
- 40:50And be confident and teach them who is
- 40:53he
- 40:54without being arrogant.
- 40:56So, dua. And keep asking Allah to keep
- 40:59you going.
- 41:00And number two, learn about
- 41:03the Qawi,
- 41:05the Aziz, al-Jabbar,
- 41:08the one who is going to give you
- 41:09everything and anything you want
- 41:12in the right time that he knows. Two,
- 41:15three, don't give up. We all will fail.
- 41:18We will have the these moments when we
- 41:20will be afraid, will be weak. That's
- 41:23fine.
- 41:24But get up and keep going.
- 41:27And help each other. That's the last
- 41:29one.
- 41:30Help each other. Each one.
- 41:34Help each other to be the confident
- 41:36Muslim. It's not impossible.
- 41:39We have many examples before us
- 41:41recently, even now
- 41:44among us.
- 41:45You will see this. I'll end up with this
- 41:47story. It's a true story.
- 41:49In San Diego, a 9-year-old. I think 9 or
- 41:5311. I think 11 cuz she was in
- 41:57middle school. And everybody was She
- 41:59wears hijab and everybody was making fun
- 42:01of her. You know how it is, right? She
- 42:04was bullied right and left. And the last
- 42:06trick they wanted, they said, "Okay, you
- 42:09know why you're covering? Because you
- 42:10don't have a hair.
- 42:15If truly you have She said, "No, I do."
- 42:17Said, "If you truly have hair, show us."
- 42:2111 year of age.
- 42:23You know what she did?
- 42:24She took all the girls to the bathroom.
- 42:28Took off her hijab and showed them the
- 42:30hair.
- 42:31That's the confident Muslim. May Allah
- 42:34subhanahu wa ta'ala make us from those,
- 42:35ya rabbi, amen. May Allah show us the
- 42:37path. May Allah keep us going. May Allah
- 42:40forgive our shortcomings. May Allah help
- 42:42us to get up when we fail. And he knows
- 42:45the struggles we go we through.
- 42:48Subhanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika ashhadu
- 42:50an la ilaha illa astaghfiruka wa atubu
- 42:52ilayh. Sallallahu ala Sayyidina Muhammad
- 42:54wa ala alihi wa ashabihi tasliman
- 42:56kathira.
- 42:57Any questions? Yes, please.
- 43:01Wa'alaykumu assalam. Do we have another
- 43:02mic?
- 43:04Okay, I'll hear her and then I can. Yes.
- 43:07Wa iyyakum.
- 43:09Yes.
- 43:13So, a fine line I'm repeating the
- 43:15question so everybody can hear. A fine
- 43:17line between the confidence and the
- 43:20arrogance.
- 43:23So, how do I know? Very good question.
- 43:26How do I know I am not arrogant?
- 43:30What is you said what is the litmus
- 43:32paper?
- 43:33The litmus paper, two things.
- 43:36One, it is not you and your ability that
- 43:39made you who you are.
- 43:41It's Allah.
- 43:42And when you make a mistake, you
- 43:45acknowledge and apologize.
- 43:48That's why the dua when Allah when
- 43:51somebody praises you publicly, the
- 43:54summary of it, ya Allah, make me better
- 43:56than what people think of me and forgive
- 43:58what they don't know about me.
- 44:00When you say forgive what they don't
- 44:02know about me, you're acknowledging that
- 44:05you make mistakes.
- 44:07And always, always ask Allah
- 44:11to save you from being arrogant.
- 44:15You know the Hadith and the dua and then
- 44:17wa min al
- 44:18su al-kibar. Su al-kibar either kibar
- 44:21arrogance or su al-kibar being older.
- 44:24And this is one of the adhkar we do in
- 44:26the morning and in the evening.
- 44:28Especially when Allah gives you things.
- 44:31We live in a day and age of social media
- 44:34and followers and influencers and all
- 44:36this. Especially when Allah tests you
- 44:39with this.
- 44:41Don't forget you're a human being.
- 44:43As the the famous poem in Arabic said,
- 44:45"Wa fawqa Wa fawqa Wa kullu ma fawqa
- 44:48turabi turabu." And everything above the
- 44:51dust is a dust.
- 44:55So, may Allah make it easy.
- 44:57Any question from the brothers? Okay.
- 44:59Any other question?
- 45:02Yes, please.
- 45:04Yes.
- 45:11I can't hear you. I'm sorry.
- 45:18My question is nowadays there is group
- 45:20of people that can go to Umrah together.
- 45:23Back in the days I knew that you have to
- 45:24go with your brother, your husband.
- 45:26Okay, I'm not going to take any fiqh
- 45:27question. The most common question I get
- 45:30is this one. As if we women have no
- 45:32other issues
- 45:34other than this. Honestly, put your
- 45:36priorities, people.
- 45:39We have our children leaving Islam.
- 45:42We have our people struggling with with
- 45:45practicing. We have the children going
- 45:47to school and they are faced with right
- 45:49and left. We have drugs pandemic in this
- 45:52country. Fentanyl death.
- 45:56Focus
- 45:57on the most important things. I'm not
- 46:00saying this is not important, but it's
- 46:01not a priority.
- 46:04This is not a priority. If you would sit
- 46:06down with the youth, I never got this
- 46:08question. I give class to the youth
- 46:10every Thursday.
- 46:11I never get this question. What do I
- 46:14get? The commonest question from the
- 46:16youth,
- 46:18"How do I fit in?"
- 46:21"How do I fit in?" "What do I do with
- 46:24bullying?"
- 46:25"How do I stay strong?"
- 46:27Focus on this.
- 46:29That's what we need.
- 46:31Those the generation, 20 years from now,
- 46:33most of us will not be here. Those will
- 46:36be the leaders.
- 46:37Are they going to be like you here?
- 46:40Is she going to be like you here?
- 46:43Or the dunya and the others pull them.
- 46:46Focus on that.
- 46:48Foc- I'm not saying it's not important,
- 46:50but it's not a priority, especially in a
- 46:52family night. It is not.
- 46:54Any other question?
- 46:56Sister Aisha.
- 46:56Yes, please.
- 46:58Um, can we
- 47:00Actually,
- 47:02I'm here.
- 47:02Oh, can we take them from the brother?
- 47:04Jazak Allahu Khair.
- 47:06It's okay.
- 47:08It's just okay, just to be fair.
- 47:16Bismillah.
- 47:17If our confidence we feel like is weak,
- 47:20what is a healthy way to grow it
- 47:22Islamically?
- 47:23I loved it.
- 47:25I acknowledge that I don't have the
- 47:27confidence of the examples I shared with
- 47:30you. What do I need to do?
- 47:32Number one, as I said, is ask Allah to
- 47:35make you strong in sujud.
- 47:38Yeah, this is what I always say, "Ya
- 47:40Qawiyyu, Qawwini." I call Allah by His
- 47:43name, Al-Qawiyyu, the strong, and I
- 47:45wanted this this character to be me. "Ya
- 47:49Qawiyyu, Qawwini." One, there is no
- 47:52strength
- 47:53and now I'm taking practicality without
- 47:55the following, without the five days
- 47:58salah.
- 47:59Without it, I'm struggling.
- 48:02And now I am moving I want really to be
- 48:05the examples without connection with the
- 48:07book of his I wouldn't I don't call
- 48:09Quran the book of Allah.
- 48:11Of course is the book of Allah. I call
- 48:13it his words.
- 48:15It has different impact on me when I say
- 48:17his words.
- 48:19This is the three. There is no strength
- 48:22without night salah alone.
- 48:25You and him.
- 48:27Fifth,
- 48:28no strength without failure.
- 48:31And acknowledging the failure
- 48:33and getting up and moving on.
- 48:35Sixth, the yaqeen, the certainty that
- 48:38you can be.
- 48:40You tell yourself you can be. If Allah
- 48:42said so, it will happen.
- 48:44But I just need to be patient and it
- 48:46will happen be it in Allah. And may
- 48:48Allah make it happen ya rabbi ameen.
- 48:51Now back to you.
- 48:54Thank you, sister
- 48:55What time we have to stop? You're going
- 48:56to tell me, right?
- 48:57Yes, okay. Bismillah.
- 48:59Sister Hafsah, I have two questions.
- 49:00Yes. So, number one, if we have friends
- 49:03and family members very close, if we are
- 49:07together and somebody is indulged in
- 49:10some activities displeasing to Allah,
- 49:12how do we interact without sounding
- 49:14arrogant? Number two, how do we persuade
- 49:18our teenage children, our young boys and
- 49:20girls to become confident Yes, to become
- 49:23confident and a Muslim too. Like both
- 49:25things together in this day and age.
- 49:27This is a whole lecture.
- 49:30Any tip?
- 49:31Any tip? We will. So, let's start the
- 49:33first one.
- 49:34Um Some of you may know we
- 49:37Every Tuesday I do the same but in
- 49:40Irvine, which we call it Let's
- 49:41understand the Quran. It's
- 49:43It's live streamed usually. And now we
- 49:45are covering Surat al-Ankabut. And there
- 49:48is a reason why I chose this this surah,
- 49:50right? Many surahs in the Quran
- 49:52beautiful. But this one is the challenge
- 49:54surah. They call it the surah of tests.
- 49:57The surah of trials.
- 49:59And among the priority
- 50:02of tests is family.
- 50:05Everybody in this room, young and old,
- 50:09you know what I'm saying.
- 50:11When you start practicing Islam, start
- 50:13meaning I grew up as a Muslim, you know,
- 50:15I know, but I didn't really know what it
- 50:17is. And then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
- 50:19opened my heart and I start learning and
- 50:21I start changing. The number one
- 50:24challenge will be your immediate family.
- 50:28And they can be as harsh as possible.
- 50:33And it's very painful. You know why?
- 50:36Because we love them.
- 50:37And because they love us, they're harsh.
- 50:40It's not because they are not No, but
- 50:42they don't see what you and I are
- 50:45seeing. So here you go.
- 50:47And this is daily test. Friday night,
- 50:50let's go out. Wedding, let's go.
- 50:53This is where you
- 50:55start putting who are you number one in
- 50:58that family. What is your education?
- 51:00What is your Islamic education?
- 51:03Now, where is your red lines?
- 51:06Because remember in this deen, there is
- 51:08haram obvious.
- 51:10There is halal obvious. And there's a
- 51:12lot of the
- 51:13doubtful.
- 51:15Many of us don't know.
- 51:16Don't make doubtful haram because it is
- 51:18not. Don't make haram halal. It is not.
- 51:22And don't make haram doubtful.
- 51:25So what are they doing? Is it haram?
- 51:28Then that's a red line
- 51:30for me.
- 51:32Is it doubtful? Where am I in my journey
- 51:35with Allah and where they are in their
- 51:37journey? If it is halal, you don't like
- 51:39it, let them do it. Give you example.
- 51:41This is the commonest question I get in
- 51:44this matter. My grandmother lives with
- 51:46me.
- 51:47Or I go and visit my grandmother or my
- 51:49mother, and the discussion is always
- 51:52backbiting.
- 51:54Does that sound familiar?
- 51:57Talks about her daughter-in-law, the
- 51:58grandchildren, all this. What do I do?
- 52:02Right? And I know this is haram, there's
- 52:05no question about that. And it applies
- 52:06also to the brothers, by the way. Your
- 52:08grandfather It's always
- 52:11the grandfather talking about his
- 52:13daughter-in-law or talking to the
- 52:14brother about his other son, and on and
- 52:17on and on, it's all haram. There's no
- 52:20doubt.
- 52:21Three options.
- 52:24Number one, can I change the subject?
- 52:28No, you change the subject, she comes
- 52:30back and And let's continue.
- 52:33Honestly.
- 52:34Right? Failed. I call it tactic one
- 52:37failed.
- 52:38Right? Tactic two,
- 52:40can you praise that person?
- 52:43No, it's not exactly Oh, you didn't know
- 52:45what they did with me. It was amazing.
- 52:48And you start praising them.
- 52:50Failed.
- 52:53Honestly, it's challenging. This is
- 52:55usually when you get family together, ya
- 52:57Rahman.
- 52:58You really need to have the confident
- 53:00confidence actually put in your backpack
- 53:04and move. Third one, and this is, as we
- 53:07say in Arabic, akharu dawa'i al-kayy,
- 53:09the last medicine is actually you leave.
- 53:13Well, I can't leave the house.
- 53:15So, you're going to go to the bathroom
- 53:17and you're going to do the longest wudu'
- 53:19of your life.
- 53:22Honestly, cuz you can't Yani, you can't
- 53:25look arrogant. You cannot tell your
- 53:28mother this
- 53:29Let let mother or grandmother or
- 53:31grandfather or father, this is haram.
- 53:33They will not listen. Oh, no, remember
- 53:35when I raised you? This is what you're
- 53:37going to hear.
- 53:38So, be
- 53:40I I like the word creative because Allah
- 53:42is the only one who creates, but be
- 53:44smart.
- 53:46But there is red lines.
- 53:47The red lines
- 53:49I'm not going to eat with a family
- 53:50member if they're drinking alcohol.
- 53:53Even if this is my brother, if this is
- 53:55my father, I'm going to move.
- 53:58Yeah, you need to put your red lines.
- 54:00You're going to get a lot of heat in the
- 54:02beginning. But then keep confident
- 54:05because that's obvious haram.
- 54:08Did Did I Did I get Did I answer you?
- 54:11And it is this is the one of the biggest
- 54:13challenges. Coming to the teenagers,
- 54:15this is I'm meeting the youth on Sunday.
- 54:17It's part of the program. If you are not
- 54:20confident
- 54:21your children will not be confident.
- 54:24Don't ask your children to be something
- 54:27you are not.
- 54:28It's not going to happen.
- 54:30Because then
- 54:33Why do you say what you don't do?
- 54:36And the end as the poem said
- 54:39Start
- 54:44with yourself and control yourself and
- 54:47prevent yourself from injustice. If you
- 54:50can do it then you are wise.
- 54:57At this point when you practice what you
- 55:00preach, people will listen to you and
- 55:03teaching will bring fruits. I can't
- 55:06change my teenagers if I am not. That's
- 55:09one.
- 55:11Don't start
- 55:12teaching them or practicing them at age
- 55:1514 and 15. Where were you?
- 55:18Where were you when they were two and
- 55:20three and 10 and 12?
- 55:23Once they become, and I say this to all
- 55:25my friends, once they become These days
- 55:2911 and 12.
- 55:31I hate to say this, but it's too late.
- 55:35You need to engrave in them, actually.
- 55:38Raising righteous children starts before
- 55:41marriage.
- 55:43Who are you getting married to?
- 55:47So, this is a long topic. When you reach
- 55:50to the age of 16 and you have no control
- 55:53over them, you still have one weapon,
- 55:55huge one. And what is that? Dua.
- 55:59And you are righteous.
- 56:02Because today is Friday, I mean,
- 56:05yesterday was Friday, right? And what
- 56:07did Allah, how did Allah save the two
- 56:10orphans?
- 56:11Because wa kana abuhuma saliha. The
- 56:14father was righteous. You become the
- 56:17righteous couple, couple,
- 56:20Allah-pleasing.
- 56:22The children are not,
- 56:24the end result is not in your hand.
- 56:26Sayyidna Nuh, his son was kafir.
- 56:28Sayyidna Ibrahim, his father was kafir.
- 56:30But I don't give up on them.
- 56:33I keep making dua. Allah change the
- 56:35hearts.
- 56:36And may Allah protect our youth.
- 56:39Really. And I'm not going to say youth
- 56:42only in this country, youth global.
- 56:45Because what happens here is all over in
- 56:48the internet and everybody is exposed
- 56:50to. And may Allah make it easy for all
- 56:52of us.
- 56:53Amen. We're done. Alhamdulillah.
- 57:04tasliman kathira.
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