how to be insanely more fun to talk to — Transcript

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1. 0:00If you've ever been in a conversation
2. 0:02that feels forced, awkward, or boring,
3. 0:05it's probably because you haven't
4. 0:07learned how to be more playful. [music]
5. 0:09I used to avoid people because I used to
6. 0:11never know what to say. I just blamed it
7. 0:13on being a naturally anxious person.
8. 0:16Once I learned how to be more playful,
9. 0:18being social actually became fun. Most
10. 0:20of us try to answer questions normally.
11. 0:23We try so hard to not be awkward or say
12. 0:26something embarrassing, especially when
13. 0:28it's somebody that we want to impress.
14. 0:31Being playful is the opposite of that.
15. 0:33You stop trying to be perfect and you
16. 0:35can just let go and actually have fun.
17. 0:38People will naturally be drawn to you,
18. 0:40not because you became more impressive,
19. 0:42but because you actually look like
20. 0:44you're having fun being yourself.
21. 0:49One of the easiest ways to become more
22. 0:51playful is to stop giving the safest
23. 0:53answer all the time. Sometimes, instead
24. 0:56of giving the real answer right away,
25. 0:58decide to make it playful and say
26. 1:01something a little out of pocket, a
27. 1:03little unexpected.
28. 1:05What's up guys? Welcome back. Today
29. 1:08we're clapping cheeks.
30. 1:12>> [laughter]
31. 1:17>> There's a photo behind the cash register
32. 1:19of this Olympian, right, that used to
33. 1:23come to the restaurant as a regular. And
34. 1:25the last time she stopped by, we asked
35. 1:27her to sign it. When this person came up
36. 1:29to the cash register and noticed the the
37. 1:31photo behind me, he asked me like, "Oh
38. 1:33wow, she she came here one time." And I
39. 1:36said, "She used to work here, actually."
40. 1:38What? No way. Really? No, man, I'm just
41. 1:42kidding. The whole time the person was
42. 1:44laughing and he was like, "Hey,
43. 1:46honestly, man, you should have stuck to
44. 1:47the first story because that was really
45. 1:49funny. Like, I really believed you for a
46. 1:50second." For example, if you have a
47. 1:52scar, right? If you have a scar and
48. 1:54someone's like, "Hey, how did you get
49. 1:56that scar?" And you know you got it from
50. 1:58cutting yourself from, you know, cooking
51. 2:01last week. Instead of just giving them
52. 2:03the real boring answer, you could be
53. 2:05like
54. 2:06ah yeah, you know what? 2 weeks ago I
55. 2:08had to fight off like seven gang members
56. 2:11to save this old lady and I you know,
57. 2:13like one of them cut me. The point is to
58. 2:15get the other person laughing and joking
59. 2:17with you. Notice something light, decide
60. 2:20to make it playful, give a surprising
61. 2:22answer before revealing the boring
62. 2:23answer. Genuinely, if it's something you
63. 2:26find amusing and it's funny, then say
64. 2:28it. If you think my examples are funny,
65. 2:31steal them, use them, try them and see
66. 2:33how people react. Make it your own and
67. 2:36find ways to make it more fun for you.
68. 2:38The more that you're having fun
69. 2:39yourself, the better that your jokes
70. 2:42will land.
71. 2:45Teasing only works if it feels shared.
72. 2:47If it feels like
73. 2:49you're laughing with them, you're not
74. 2:51laughing at the expense of somebody
75. 2:53else. But if you do this well, it can be
76. 2:55one of the best ways to banter with
77. 2:57anybody. It shows affection without
78. 3:00being too nice and being too safe and it
79. 3:03shows that you can play. It shows that
80. 3:05you can have fun.
81. 3:08And look,
82. 3:09she's literally
83. 3:12wearing the black.
84. 3:14>> [singing]
85. 3:15[music]
86. 3:16>> She is the one.
87. 3:18Wow.
88. 3:22I'm going to make sure this man never
89. 3:23gets the car.
90. 3:24>> [laughter]
91. 3:26>> You're playing with the moment. The
92. 3:27point isn't to make someone else feel
93. 3:29bad, it's for both of you to be
94. 3:31comfortable and be laughing with each
95. 3:33other.
96. 3:36Habit number three is fake seriousness.
97. 3:38This is something I do a lot with my
98. 3:40friends or I utilize this a lot at work
99. 3:43when I want to have more fun.
100. 3:45Usually when customers come in and they
101. 3:47ask for a napkin, it's obviously free.
102. 3:49But sometimes I make it hard for them.
103. 3:52Napkin? Sure. It's going to be $5, sir
104. 3:55ma'am. I smile. I look at them in the
105. 3:57eye, and they're like, "No way." And I'm
106. 3:59like, "I'm just joking." You risk being
107. 4:01a little bit annoying, but at the same
108. 4:03time, people will feel so much more
109. 4:05comfortable around you because you're
110. 4:07comfortable enough to make jokes around
111. 4:09them.
112. 4:11Uh there was this girl in my class who
113. 4:13was wearing a pink shirt, uh pink Nike
114. 4:16shoes, and she had a pink phone case.
115. 4:19So, when I sat next to her, I decided to
116. 4:21say, "Hey,
117. 4:23can I guess?"
118. 4:25And she looks at me, and she's like,
119. 4:27"Guess what?"
120. 4:28"Can I guess your favorite color?"
121. 4:31And she looks at herself and her phone
122. 4:33and Oh oh my god, I wonder what it could
123. 4:36be. So, can I?"
124. 4:38And she's like,
125. 4:39she gives me this face, right? "Sure. Go
126. 4:42ahead." And I'm like, "Green."
127. 4:46You're not really trying to be clever or
128. 4:48witty. You're just showing that you're
129. 4:49willing to look silly, to look dumb. And
130. 4:52that's what actually allows the other
131. 4:53person to feel like they can also be
132. 4:55silly with you. And sometimes, you know,
133. 4:58I like to pit push people's buttons, but
134. 5:00I always try to make sure that I'm
135. 5:02sensitive to the other person's actual
136. 5:04insecurities, and I dial it back if I
137. 5:06feel like I'm being a little too mean or
138. 5:08a little too specific about my roasts or
139. 5:11my jokes. The only reason why I think
140. 5:14I'm a little bit better at making people
141. 5:16laugh to this day is because I've said
142. 5:18so many dumb things in my life, and a
143. 5:21lot of them actually fell flat. It was
144. 5:23awkward. People didn't laugh. People
145. 5:25thought I was weird or annoying. But,
146. 5:27the moments that I've gotten people to
147. 5:28laugh is like the things I've stuck to
148. 5:31and refined over the years. When you
149. 5:33show other people that you're confident
150. 5:35enough to be teased, also, that's what
151. 5:37makes it safe to be around you and to be
152. 5:39playful. Yeah, I don't know. It's just I
153. 5:41think it's sick. I think it's sick when
154. 5:43people can laugh at themselves and not
155. 5:45take themselves so seriously. One of the
156. 5:47biggest mistakes I used to make is only
157. 5:49being playful to the people that I was
158. 5:51trying to impress. What really changed
159. 5:54is when I started being playful with
160. 5:55literally everybody. That made being
161. 5:58social so much more fun. The more
162. 6:00comfortable you are at failing at
163. 6:02anything in your life, the more likely
164. 6:04that you'll actually achieve it. You
165. 6:05might as well laugh and enjoy the
166. 6:07process, too. And ironically, that's
167. 6:10actually what makes you more fun to talk
168. 6:12to. My name is Carl. If this video
169. 6:14helped you at all, make sure to like,
170. 6:16comment, and subscribe. And make sure to
171. 6:19send this to someone who you think will
172. 6:21benefit, also. And I'll see you on the
173. 6:24next one. Peace.
174. 6:25>> Yeah, I could lie,
175. 6:27but I'm way [music] too soft for