How To Articulate Your Thoughts More Clearly Than 99% of People — Transcript

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1. 0:00The top 1% use words to command
2. 0:02attention, build trust, and get people
3. 0:04to say yes. And over the last 20 years,
4. 0:07I have completely changed the way I
5. 0:09speak, write, and operate. These are the
6. 0:12seven techniques that will help you
7. 0:13articulate your words like the top 1%.
8. 0:16The first technique is so powerful, yet
9. 0:18so simple, you can test it right away.
10. 0:20It is called resting rich face. You're
11. 0:23not being ignored because you're boring,
12. 0:25you're being ignored because your face
13. 0:27looks the wrong way. Here is what
14. 0:28resting rich face means. When you're on
15. 0:30camera, whether it's a Zoom sales call
16. 0:33or a client meeting, how do you show up?
17. 0:35Do you look like you need this work?
18. 0:38Like you're kind of desperate for it?
19. 0:39Like, "Oh my gosh, I hope this works
20. 0:41out." You're leaning in, or do you look
21. 0:43like maybe you have somewhere slightly
22. 0:45different to be? Now, having a resting
23. 0:47rich face is about giving off a sense of
24. 0:50just not needing this. It gives off this
25. 0:52energy of I don't need this. I'm not
26. 0:54sweating for it to work out. And this is
27. 0:56one of the most powerful ways to
28. 0:58actually get what you want. So, here's
29. 1:00how to put that into practice. Lean back
30. 1:03when they think you should be leaning in
31. 1:05and madly taking notes. Sometimes you
32. 1:08temple your hands under your chin
33. 1:10intentionally. You look into the camera
34. 1:12and not at your picture on Zoom. Like,
35. 1:13really try not to look at your picture
36. 1:16on Zoom. Go into hide self view. It
37. 1:19really helps. And even if your mic
38. 1:21doesn't work, you put it in front of you
39. 1:23so it looks like you do this for a
40. 1:25living. Relax your face, keep your
41. 1:28eyebrows low, make eye contact, have
42. 1:30warm water in your glass so your voice
43. 1:32is clear when you're speaking. Next up
44. 1:35is another super powerful technique, and
45. 1:38it's also super easy to use. It's
46. 1:40mirroring. This is how to get people to
47. 1:42say yes to you almost every single time.
48. 1:47So, imagine you're trying to convince
49. 1:48someone to go all in on your idea. You
50. 1:50ask them, "What's your biggest concern
51. 1:52about moving forward with this?" And
52. 1:54they say, "Well, I'm worried the
53. 1:55timeline is too tight and, you know,
54. 1:57we'll end up rushing through the
55. 1:58important parts." Now, here's where a
56. 2:01lot of people mess up. They respond with
57. 2:03their own interpretation. So, they'll
58. 2:05listen to that, they'll hear that, and
59. 2:06then they'll say something like, "Oh, so
60. 2:07you want more time?" That's not what
61. 2:09they said. Here is what you should do
62. 2:10instead. Mirror back their exact words.
63. 2:13You say, "So, you're worried the
64. 2:14timeline is too tight and will end up
65. 2:16rushing through the important parts. Is
66. 2:18that right?" Notice the difference?
67. 2:20Those were their exact words, not your
68. 2:22interpretation. And when you repeat
69. 2:24their language back to them, something
70. 2:27shifts. They feel heard, they nod, they
71. 2:29lean in because when you mirror
72. 2:31someone's language right back to them,
73. 2:33you're doing two things. First, you're
74. 2:35proving that you actually listened. Most
75. 2:37people do not listen. They just wait for
76. 2:39their turn to talk. Second, you are
77. 2:41speaking in their language, not yours.
78. 2:43And this makes your solution, your
79. 2:45brand, feel custom-built for their
80. 2:47specific problem, even if it's something
81. 2:49you offer to everyone. Number three,
82. 2:53most people don't realize that they are
83. 2:55sabotaging themselves with every
84. 2:57sentence. That's why you have got to be
85. 2:59precise. Picture this. Someone asks you
86. 3:01for a restaurant recommendation. You
87. 3:03say, "Well, I think you might like that
88. 3:05new Italian place. Maybe you could try
89. 3:06it. Maybe you'll enjoy it." Now, imagine
90. 3:09someone else says, "You have to try
91. 3:11Bella Note. The pasta is incredible and
92. 3:13they have the best tiramisu I've ever
93. 3:16had." Now, which recommendation are you
94. 3:17more likely to follow? When you say
95. 3:19things like, "I think, you might be,
96. 3:22perhaps, maybe," you are telling your
97. 3:25audience that you don't believe what you
98. 3:27are saying. Whether you're pitching an
99. 3:29idea at work, giving advice to a friend,
100. 3:32or expressing your opinion in a
101. 3:34conversation, these words kill your
102. 3:36credibility. If you are writing a sales
103. 3:38page, trying to convince somebody to buy
104. 3:40something, you wouldn't ever write, "It
105. 3:42might work." Or, "Perhaps give this a
106. 3:44shot." Or, "Trust me, this will work."
107. 3:46Those phrases add nothing. They just
108. 3:49fill the silence. But this is not just
109. 3:51about cutting out filler words. Being
110. 3:53precise means being intentional about
111. 3:55every single thing you choose to say.
112. 3:58So, before you say something, before you
113. 3:59share something, ask yourself, "Does
114. 4:01this belong on the page?" If it doesn't
115. 4:04help the argument, if it doesn't help
116. 4:06get people nodding along with you, it
117. 4:08doesn't belong on the page. That means
118. 4:10defaulting to not sharing something that
119. 4:13doesn't actively support the argument
120. 4:15you are trying to make. So, here is the
121. 4:18technique I use to eliminate filler
122. 4:19words and be more precise. Keep your
123. 4:22mouth closed and your tongue pressed to
124. 4:24the roof of your mouth. Then, when
125. 4:26you're ready to speak, you don't do so
126. 4:28until you're actually ready. You have to
127. 4:31lower your tongue from the roof of your
128. 4:33mouth, open your lips, and now you're
129. 4:36ready to speak. And that pause honestly
130. 4:39gives you enough time to prepare what
131. 4:41you're going to say and choose that
132. 4:43first word, which will not be um or uh
133. 4:46or I think. And it also helps ensure you
134. 4:48are only saying what matters. Number
135. 4:51four is to always sell. Speaking like
136. 4:53the top 1% isn't about sounding smart.
137. 4:56It's about selling without anyone
138. 4:58realizing you are. Now, here is
139. 5:00something most people don't realize. You
140. 5:03are always trying to get someone to say
141. 5:05yes to you. Whether you're convincing
142. 5:07your partner where to go for dinner,
143. 5:09pitching an idea at work, or persuading
144. 5:11a friend to join you for an event,
145. 5:13you're selling. Now, imagine this. Your
146. 5:15colleague just shared a concern about
147. 5:17something. Now, here's what most people
148. 5:19do. They immediately jump to their
149. 5:20solution. But watch what happens when
150. 5:22you do this instead. You say, "It's a
151. 5:24really smart observation. You are good
152. 5:26at spotting things other people miss."
153. 5:28Now, immediately something shifts. They
154. 5:30like you more. They're more likely to
155. 5:31hear you out because you've made them
156. 5:33feel good first. Now, here's what you
157. 5:35don't do. You don't criticize them to
158. 5:38get them to say yes. You don't tear down
159. 5:40their idea to make yours look better.
160. 5:42Others might do that, and it might even
161. 5:44work sometimes, but I have seen
162. 5:46repeatedly that building people up works
163. 5:49a hundred times better than beating them
164. 5:52down, especially when you are going to
165. 5:54want them on your side. Being in sales
166. 5:57means understanding that people make
167. 5:59decisions based on how they feel about
168. 6:02you, not just the logic of your
169. 6:05argument. When you make someone feel
170. 6:07valued before you ask for what you want,
171. 6:09they're already leaning toward the yes.
172. 6:12Next up is number five. You have to over
173. 6:16prepare. I was so shy as a kid, but
174. 6:18today I'm a top-rated speaker, and
175. 6:20here's how I did it. Now, I used to be a
176. 6:23pleaser. I was a good Canadian,
177. 6:26friendly, polite, apologetic, and I've
178. 6:28had to work against all of that to find
179. 6:30my voice, share it clearly with
180. 6:32confidence in noisy, ego-filled, and
181. 6:35fast-paced boardrooms. And the secret
182. 6:38was to prepare and practice everything I
183. 6:40had to say before actually saying it.
184. 6:42Most people who are good at this stuff
185. 6:45are not natural-born gifted speakers.
186. 6:48They over prepare until they get really
187. 6:50good at it. And this can mean preparing
188. 6:52what you'll say the way a copywriter
189. 6:55might do. Start with the problem you
190. 6:57want to hook your listener with. Agitate
191. 6:59that. Bring it to life quickly, then
192. 7:01propose the solution. It's absolutely
193. 7:03okay to practice talking to yourself in
194. 7:05the mirror. It's okay to memorize notes
195. 7:07and practice those notes before you go
196. 7:09into a meeting. Now, here's what that
197. 7:10preparation actually does for you. When
198. 7:13you're in a room with leaders, prepare
199. 7:15to be bowled over by how they talk
200. 7:17without thinking about whether anybody
201. 7:19else should be talking now. They just
202. 7:21speak, and that's what your preparation
203. 7:23allows you to do, too. Now, this can be
204. 7:26really quite difficult for women in
205. 7:27particular who are used to observing the
206. 7:30room to see if it's okay that they're
207. 7:32talking or if anybody else wants to
208. 7:34chime in. You do not want to do this. To
209. 7:37fit in this sort of room, you need to
210. 7:39speak confidently and actually keep
211. 7:41talking even when someone is trying to
212. 7:43interrupt you. Get your full thought
213. 7:45out, finish with a strong period, and
214. 7:47you can only do that when you've
215. 7:49practiced enough that you know exactly
216. 7:51what you're going to say. The next
217. 7:53technique is the one most people refuse
218. 7:56to do. It is this, stand out. People
219. 7:59don't start listening when you speak
220. 8:01louder. They listen when you take up
221. 8:05space. Here's what I see happen all the
222. 8:07time. Someone tells me, "I just want
223. 8:09nobody to really notice me, but I want
224. 8:11things to go splendidly. I want the best
225. 8:13job. I want a promotion. I want $10
226. 8:15million in sales for this launch, but I
227. 8:18don't want to say anything that sounds
228. 8:19too different. I don't want to really
229. 8:21offer anything that different, and I'm
230. 8:23really just kind of like to flow into
231. 8:25the background." That never ever works.
232. 8:27You want to be like Liquid Death. They
233. 8:29took water, they put it in a can, and
234. 8:31then they made it stand out so much that
235. 8:33people couldn't ignore it. You're going
236. 8:36to take what you are, what you're trying
237. 8:37to communicate, and you're going to make
238. 8:39sure that you do it differently. So
239. 8:41differently that it absolutely stands
240. 8:44out. Now, I know it's scary to stand out
241. 8:46because I had done the opposite. I
242. 8:48hidden. I've gotten on stage and, you
243. 8:50know, tried not to be that noticeable.
244. 8:52I'm tall, so I like didn't wear heels on
245. 8:54stage. That's silly. I wore casual
246. 8:57clothing so I feel more like, you know,
247. 8:59a member of the crowd. Also silly. This
248. 9:01is a thing I had to train myself out of.
249. 9:03I'm tall. I need to take up space, any
250. 9:05space, not shy away, and I need to own
251. 9:08it. Very few people will do this, and
252. 9:11that is your advantage if you're willing
253. 9:13to do it. Here's what I do to help me
254. 9:15when I speak to crowds or in big
255. 9:17meetings. I pick one person in my
256. 9:19imagined audience, I talk to that
257. 9:21person, and I see that she is nodding
258. 9:24with me, she's smiling at me, she's open
259. 9:26to what I'm saying. That immediately
260. 9:29makes you feel more confident, and it
261. 9:31keeps you from getting distracted by,
262. 9:33you know, the one person who you worry
263. 9:35will like be looking at their phone.
264. 9:36Pick one person in your next meeting or
265. 9:38presentation and speak to them. Let them
266. 9:40be your anchor, and don't be afraid to
267. 9:42sound different from everyone else in
268. 9:45this very boring boardroom. The last
269. 9:48technique is to become an expert. I made
270. 9:53$20,000
271. 9:55in three days because I was an expert at
272. 9:57just one thing. When I started my
273. 10:00business Copyblogger in its very first
274. 10:02year, I started it by writing a book
275. 10:03about copywriting. I then turned that
276. 10:05into four ebooks, which I sold on Hacker
277. 10:07News, and I made about $20,000 in three
278. 10:10days. But what was most important was
279. 10:12that I was getting leads like bananas
280. 10:15out of that. Now, this was just a
281. 10:16self-published series of micro ebooks,
282. 10:19but the moment I put my name on those
283. 10:21books, something shifted in how I
284. 10:23carried myself. I wasn't pretending to
285. 10:25be an expert. I wasn't second-guessing
286. 10:27myself before I spoke. I had codified my
287. 10:30knowledge. I had put it out into the
288. 10:32world, and that changed everything about
289. 10:34how I walked into rooms, how I spoke in
290. 10:36meetings, and even how I pitched
291. 10:38clients. Creative types who find
292. 10:40themselves in leadership positions or
293. 10:42standing in front of a room often
294. 10:44struggle with the idea of being
295. 10:46confident. When people see your name on
296. 10:48something you created as an expert,
297. 10:50you're the expert. But more importantly,
298. 10:52you feel like an expert. And when you
299. 10:53feel like an expert, you stop hedging.
300. 10:56You stop apologizing for your ideas. You
301. 10:59speak with conviction because you've
302. 11:01done the work to earn it. Now, I know
303. 11:03writing a book sounds complicated, and
304. 11:05maybe it's not for you right this
305. 11:07second. But here's the thing, you don't
306. 11:08need a 300-page traditionally published
307. 11:11book. You could write a 20-page guide on
308. 11:13one specific thing you are good at. You
309. 11:16could create a series of three short
310. 11:18ebooks instead of one long one. You
311. 11:20could record a workshop. You could build
312. 11:21a course. You could publish a framework.
313. 11:24The point is this, create something that
314. 11:26forces you to organize and articulate
315. 11:28your expertise. Put your name on it.
316. 11:30Share it because the act of doing that
317. 11:32doesn't just position you as an expert
318. 11:34to others, it makes you internalize that
319. 11:37expertise. These seven techniques will
320. 11:39change the way people listen to you and
321. 11:42respond to you. Start with just one.
322. 11:44Master it. Then add the next. And if you
323. 11:47like this video, watch this next one
324. 11:48here, and I'll see you there.