How to ACTUALLY shift your identity (become unrecognizable) — Transcript

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1. 0:00You don't have a discipline problem. You
2. 0:03have an identity problem. And I know
3. 0:05that sounds like another piece of
4. 0:06self-improvement but hear me
5. 0:08out. If you truly believe in your heart
6. 0:11of hearts that you are a procrastinator,
7. 0:14guess what is going to happen when you
8. 0:15sit down to do the work? Well, you have
9. 0:18to fight yourself to get the work done.
10. 0:20If you believe you're addicted to your
11. 0:22phone, putting your phone down is not
12. 0:23going to feel like a battle. If you
13. 0:25believe you're inconsistent, every new
14. 0:28habit will now require so much effort
15. 0:31and willpower. But when a behavior
16. 0:33becomes part of your identity, you don't
17. 0:35have to force yourself to do it anymore.
18. 0:37A disciplined person doesn't wake up
19. 0:39every morning and negotiate with
20. 0:41themselves whether they're going to be
21. 0:42disciplined or not. They just are
22. 0:44disciplined. Identities make behaviors
23. 0:48effortless and automated. So the
24. 0:49question isn't, "How do I force myself
25. 0:52to be productive or be disciplined?"
26. 0:54It's rather, "How do I become a person
27. 0:57who naturally behaves that way?"
28. 1:02The first thing you need to do to
29. 1:04transform your identity is understand
30. 1:06how identities are built. Think of your
31. 1:09identity as a voting system. Every
32. 1:11action you take is a vote for the person
33. 1:13you want to become. Every time you work
34. 1:15out, you're casting a vote for the
35. 1:17identity of someone who works out. Every
36. 1:20time you read, you're casting a vote for
37. 1:22the identity of someone who wants to
38. 1:23read. Eventually, once you have cast
39. 1:26enough votes, that identity becomes
40. 1:28dominant and the behaviors associated
41. 1:31with it start to feel automatic. But
42. 1:33here's where most people get stuck. They
43. 1:35struggle to cast the initial votes. If
44. 1:38you have never worked out before, going
45. 1:40to the gym feels difficult. If you have
46. 1:42never been a reader, picking up a book
47. 1:44feels odd. If you've never been
48. 1:46disciplined with your mornings, waking
49. 1:48up early feels almost impossible. And
50. 1:51that's exactly why I recommend what I
51. 1:53call the show up method. This method is
52. 1:56quite simple. When you are building a
53. 1:58new identity, don't try to prove
54. 2:00anything. Just show up. If you are
55. 2:03trying to become someone who works out,
56. 2:05don't walk [music] into the gym
57. 2:06expecting to break records or build
58. 2:08muscle or lose weight. Your only goal
59. 2:11initially is to cast the vote. Show up,
60. 2:14do a few exercises, leave. Your entire
61. 2:17workout could be just 20 minutes long.
62. 2:19It doesn't matter. If you are trying to
63. 2:21become a reader, don't try to finish an
64. 2:23entire book in a week. Read just two or
65. 2:25three pages a day. The intensity of the
66. 2:28activity doesn't matter at this stage.
67. 2:30What matters is that you showed up and
68. 2:33cast another vote for that identity that
69. 2:35you're trying to build. The coolest
70. 2:37thing about this rule is that when
71. 2:38something is less demanding in effort or
72. 2:41is quite easy to do, you're far more
73. 2:43likely to do it consistently, even on
74. 2:46your bad days. And when you do it
75. 2:48consistently, you accumulate enough
76. 2:50votes and eventually the identity starts
77. 2:53becoming who you are and the habits
78. 2:55start to feel effortless to do. So, for
79. 2:57the first 60 days, don't worry about
80. 3:00doing things perfectly. Don't worry
81. 3:02about breaking records. Just make it
82. 3:04simple enough so that you can keep
83. 3:06showing up. Cuz at this stage, you're
84. 3:08not trying to impress anyone. You're
85. 3:09trying to build a new you.
86. 3:15Once you've spent 30 to 60 days building
87. 3:17the foundation, you should have a basic
88. 3:20identity in place. You know when you
89. 3:22work out, you know when you read, you
90. 3:24know what your routine looks like. But
91. 3:25most importantly, you have become
92. 3:27consistent. And now it's time to
93. 3:30increase the intensity and get the
94. 3:32fruits of your labor. Instead of simply
95. 3:34showing up to the gym for 20 minutes,
96. 3:36you might start following a structured
97. 3:38program that targets building muscle or
98. 3:41losing weight. And this new routine
99. 3:43might require 40 minutes of your time.
100. 3:45Instead of just reading for 10 minutes,
101. 3:47you might now start reading more complex
102. 3:50books and might start reading for longer
103. 3:52instead of studying for 1 hour, you
104. 3:55might increase it to an hour and a half.
105. 3:57Just remember not to make the mistake of
106. 4:00increasing the intensity by too much too
107. 4:02soon. Your identity needs time to adapt
108. 4:05to the new workload. Think of it as
109. 4:07progressive overload for your identity.
110. 4:10Go from 1 hour of studying to 1 and 1/2,
111. 4:13then after you're adapted to that
112. 4:14workload, go to 2 hours. Give yourself a
113. 4:17couple of days to adjust before you
114. 4:19increase the workload again. This method
115. 4:21prevents you from becoming overwhelmed
116. 4:24and makes it far more likely that you
117. 4:26can sustain a behavior in the long term.
118. 4:28And if you do increase the workload too
119. 4:29much, back off. Don't see it as a
120. 4:31failure. Maybe you're not ready for that
121. 4:34level of intensity yet, or maybe that
122. 4:36level of intensity isn't even necessary
123. 4:39for what you're trying to accomplish. I
124. 4:40would rather see you operate at 70 to
125. 4:4380% [music]
126. 4:44for 100 days than operate at 100%
127. 4:48intensity for 5 days and then crash and
128. 4:50burn. Because your goal isn't to find
129. 4:52out how much you can do on some random
130. 4:54day. Your goal is to find out how much
131. 4:57you can consistently [music]
132. 4:58sustain. And this is where you need to
133. 5:00start identifying your upper limits. For
134. 5:03example, for me,
135. 5:04>> [music]
136. 5:04>> that upper limit is around 4 and 1/2
137. 5:06hours of deep focus cognitively
138. 5:09demanding work. If I push beyond that, I
139. 5:11usually feel burnt out the next day.
140. 5:13Your limits will be different in
141. 5:15different domains. So, as you
142. 5:16progressively increase the intensity,
143. 5:18pay attention to where your performance
144. 5:20starts to decline.
145. 5:24Building an identity makes your
146. 5:26behaviors easier and more automated, but
147. 5:28identity alone isn't enough. Sometimes
148. 5:31you still need a structure to
149. 5:32consistently build that identity and get
150. 5:35the most out of it. So, once you've
151. 5:37established the identity you want,
152. 5:39formalize it into a blueprint. Take the
153. 5:41four or five behaviors you want to make
154. 5:44part of your identity and write them
155. 5:46down. Then assign each one a very
156. 5:49specific time. Maybe you work out at
157. 5:516:00 a.m., study at 9:00 a.m., read at
158. 5:541:00 p.m., and journal at 6:00 p.m.
159. 5:56Whatever you want your new identity to
160. 5:58consist of, put it on paper and give it
161. 6:01a time in your day. Now you don't have
162. 6:03to wake up every morning and decide and
163. 6:05debate what you're going to do. You
164. 6:07simply have to follow the blueprint, and
165. 6:10that removes one of the biggest sources
166. 6:12of friction, decision-making. The less
167. 6:15you have to think about whether you're
168. 6:16going to do something or not, the easier
169. 6:18it becomes to actually do it. I have
170. 6:20personally followed this approach for
171. 6:22the last four or five years. I have had
172. 6:24essentially the same core routine for so
173. 6:27long that most of the habits in it feel
174. 6:29effortless now, and I have learned to
175. 6:31design my life around this routine
176. 6:33rather than constantly changing the
177. 6:35routine around my life. If a social
178. 6:37event comes up, I try to place it at a
179. 6:40spot where it doesn't nullify my
180. 6:42routine. The routine doesn't get
181. 6:45canceled. Because the goal isn't just to
182. 6:47have an identity, it's to build a
183. 6:49structure that makes acting like that
184. 6:51person inevitable.