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How to (Actually) Kill Your Limiting Beliefs and Become Unstoppable — Transcript

by Damon Cart NLP · 3,678 words · 524 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00If you feel stuck trying to create the
0:01life you dream about, most often the
0:04biggest blocker is limiting beliefs. The
0:07number one way to reach your potential
0:09is to destroy them. I know this because
0:11I got fed up, uncovered what I'm about
0:13to show you today, and it changed my
0:15life. It's not affirmations, vision
0:17boards, or fake it till you make it.
0:19None of that stuff ever worked for me.
0:21I've even now coached hundreds using
0:24this same process. That's why I'm going
0:26to walk you through a systematic process
0:28to overcome limiting beliefs so that by
0:30[music] the end you'll be one step
0:32closer to becoming unstoppable.
0:35It all starts with understanding how you
0:38create beliefs because once you look
0:40back, you can start to move forward. The
0:43first step is to find the belief that's
0:44actually creating the limitation. Now,
0:47you might think you know what your
0:48limiting belief is. Maybe you do. Maybe
0:50you've done a lot of self-inquiry and
0:53have really hashed this out to
0:54understanding what it is that's limiting
0:57you. But in most cases, what I found is
0:58most people do not know what the actual
1:01limiting belief is. The analogy I like
1:03to use is the movie The Matrix. You have
1:05all of these people who are living in a
1:07simulation, but they're not aware that
1:09they're living in a simulation. They may
1:10even feel the limitations of the Matrix,
1:13but because they don't know what that
1:15limitation is and that they're living in
1:17a simulation, they just keep going on
1:19about their life or what they think is
1:21their life and just live it day-to-day,
1:23just enduring these limitations. And
1:25this is how most of us are living. We
1:26don't even know what we believe cuz most
1:28of our beliefs are deeply unconscious,
1:30especially the limiting ones. So, we go
1:32through life and we experience the
1:34limitations. It feels painful. We feel a
1:36lack of freedom. But what we do is we
1:38blame outside circumstances or other
1:40people. It's easy to blame an economy
1:43that's not going very well or blame our
1:45circumstances as to why we don't have
1:47the money that we want. And if we had
1:48that money, then we would have the
1:49freedom that we want. We tend to turn
1:51this outwardly and project it onto
1:53everything else around us. Now, it's not
1:55to say that there aren't limiting
1:56circumstances. Of course, there are. And
1:58sometimes people are dealt a very bad
2:00hand in life. So, I'm not here to say
2:01that it all comes down to beliefs, but
2:03we can always change our beliefs about
2:05our circumstances. When we change our
2:07beliefs about our circumstances, you'll
2:09see that your circumstances start to
2:11change, and this is not any sort of law
2:12of attraction or woo-woo sort of thing.
2:14This is about changing the way you look
2:16at things, and when you do that, the
2:18things you look at start to change. The
2:19first time I heard that saying was Wayne
2:21Dyer, and I don't think he was the first
2:23person to say that. You're not changing
2:24the universe, you're not bending the
2:25universe to your will, you're not
2:27changing reality. It may feel that way,
2:28but that's not what's happening. Your
2:29beliefs are what create your reality. It
2:32also creates the limitations of your
2:33reality. It creates what basically
2:36governs your reality, the rules of your
2:38reality as you perceive it. This is all
2:40coming from your beliefs. So, when you
2:41change these, it will have the effect
2:43that your reality is changing. So, what
2:45you want to do is stop blaming external
2:47circumstances, and even if you have a
2:49compelling argument that it is in fact
2:51your external circumstances, or people
2:54are doing bad things, or what have you,
2:56all of that may be true, but what you
2:58want to do is connect with that
3:00discontent. Whatever you feel like is
3:02keeping you stuck, connect with that
3:04feeling, and then start asking yourself
3:06some hard questions. Now, when I say
3:08hard questions, they're not really
3:09difficult questions. It's more about
3:11what we're willing to admit to
3:12ourselves. Your wants and desires are
3:14good clues as to what's going to get you
3:16out of your stuck situation. If I can
3:18connect with something I want, then I'm
3:20also connecting with the discontent,
3:23which is I want something I want
3:25something other than what I have right
3:26now, or I want to be other than what I
3:29am right now. Connect with that, and
3:30then ask yourself, what must you believe
3:33about your circumstances that is keeping
3:36this in place, or what must I believe
3:37about myself that is keeping this in
3:39place? For example, you might feel like
3:41the world around you is a hostile place.
3:44You might believe that the world in fact
3:46is a hostile world. If that was true,
3:48what I would say is ask yourself what
3:50must you believe about yourself for that
3:52to be true. Chances are, if you believe
3:55that you live in a hostile world, it's
3:56because you believe you are a victim. It
3:58could be true that you've been
4:00victimized in some way. That's not to
4:02undermine that and say that doesn't
4:03matter or or put any kind of blame on
4:05you. That's not what this is about at
4:07all. But, think about the world you live
4:09in and how you behave if you believe
4:12that is true, that you believe that
4:13you're a victim. What is your life going
4:15to be like? It's not going to be very
4:16pleasant. And when we believe something,
4:18we're hardwired to select and collect
4:20information to support that belief, even
4:22if it's a negative belief, even if it's
4:24a painful belief, in order to have a
4:26sense of stability and groundedness, we
4:29need the world to conform to our beliefs
4:31because if it doesn't, then things feel
4:34very unstable. It feels like a
4:35disruption. Things feel chaotic when the
4:37world seems to defy what we believe.
4:39This is especially true about what we
4:41believe about ourselves. For a long
4:43time, I carried a belief that I was a
4:44failure, and I didn't even know that I
4:46carried this belief. It was deeply
4:47unconscious. Also deeply limiting, if
4:49you think about it. If you're walking
4:50around believing you're a failure,
4:52especially if you don't even know that
4:53you believe that, what kind of
4:55environment are you creating? What kind
4:56of world are you creating? What kind of
4:58reality are you creating around yourself
5:00believe something like that? Well, I can
5:01tell you, it was miserable. Everything
5:03was going wrong. My marriage was
5:04failing. My business was failing. And
5:06until I was able to snap out of that and
5:08transform that belief that I was in fact
5:10a successful person using real
5:13experiences in my life, no matter what I
5:14did, I was going to fail because our
5:17beliefs become a self-fulfilling
5:18prophecy. I was able to tease out
5:20another belief that I had, another very
5:21limiting belief that I had. And that was
5:23I could never make money doing anything
5:25that I enjoy, and that in order to make
5:26money, I had to do things that I did not
5:28enjoy. Once again, this was a deeply
5:30unconscious belief. I did not know that
5:32I had this belief. But, when I was
5:33facing my discontent for my money
5:35situation, I started journaling about
5:37it. I started teasing this belief to the
5:39surface. I started asking myself, what
5:41must I believe about myself for my money
5:43situation to stay the way that it stays?
5:46It felt like every time I made any
5:47advancements in my finances, they would
5:49be sort of taken from me. I'd make I'd
5:51take two steps forward and then take two
5:53steps back. Once I understood that I
5:55believed that I was a failure and that I
5:57believed that I couldn't make money
5:58doing anything that I enjoyed and that
6:00anytime I wanted to make money or I
6:02needed to make money, I had to do
6:03something that I didn't enjoy, that
6:04started to make it all make a lot more
6:06sense that my life was the way that it
6:08was because it was reflecting those
6:10beliefs. This is also what I mean by
6:11most of us don't know that we're
6:13carrying around these beliefs. So, it's
6:14really important that you take the time
6:16to assess your situation. Don't make any
6:18excuses for it. Don't blame anything or
6:20anyone else for it and just simply ask
6:23yourself, what must I believe about
6:24myself for my situation to be what it
6:27is?
6:29The second step is to understand that
6:31beliefs are created. They are not
6:34reality. What makes beliefs so powerful
6:36is we don't usually question them. We
6:38just assume that's just how things are.
6:40But, beliefs are in fact created. If
6:42something is a fact, then you don't need
6:44to believe it. It takes 24 hours for the
6:46Earth to revolve. It takes 365 days for
6:48the Earth to go around the Sun. Those
6:50are facts. Back to the limiting beliefs
6:51that I uncovered, was it a fact that I
6:53was a failure? No. Was it a fact that I
6:55was a success, the belief that I wanted
6:57to build, the one, you know, the belief
6:59that I wanted to transform from being a
7:01failure to a success? No, neither were
7:03facts. And this is what gives us the
7:04wiggle room to change things. Was it a
7:06fact that I could never make money doing
7:08something that I enjoy? No, that wasn't
7:10true either.
7:11So, be very clear about what is a belief
7:14you have about yourself and your life
7:15and facts. To take this even deeper,
7:18it's not the content of your beliefs
7:20that make them feel so certain and
7:22compelling like they're like it would
7:23make them feel like reality. It's the
7:25structure of those beliefs that do that.
7:28When we talk about beliefs, we tend to
7:30never really think about their structure
7:32or how they're structured or that
7:33beliefs even have a structure. We just
7:35think, okay, this is what I believe and
7:37we just leave it as that. A belief is a
7:39way of organizing your experiences in
7:41such a way that you believe it, that you
7:44generalize that information to be some
7:46sort of truth. Even though it's not a
7:48fact, we use that generalization to sort
7:51of create that reality around us. This
7:53is how we find our way in the world. So,
7:55this is not a bad thing. We need to
7:57create beliefs in order to live, in
7:58order to have some sense of familiarity.
8:00Otherwise, the world would feel like a
8:01very chaotic place and it's hard for us
8:04to thrive in a chaotic environment.
8:06You're not necessarily hardwired to feel
8:08good and successful and fulfilled.
8:09You're hard wired to survive. And if
8:11you're lost and confused, that endangers
8:13your survival. So, your beliefs are set
8:15up to select and collect information to
8:16constantly support them to give you a
8:19sense of certainty and stability so that
8:21you survive. You can actually understand
8:24how it is that you're structuring your
8:26beliefs. And this is where NLP,
8:28neurolinguistic programming, is amazing.
8:30NLP is about understanding how you
8:32create your subjective experience, and
8:34beliefs are how we create our subjective
8:36experience. More specifically, how we
8:37structure those beliefs is what creates
8:39that feeling. It's what creates our
8:41feeling of certainty. You've had so many
8:42different experiences in your life. So,
8:44how does your mind know what to
8:46structure in a way that feels real and
8:48certain to you? Well, this process has
8:50haphazardly been happening since you
8:52were born. It's been happening
8:53unconsciously. Using NLP, we can make
8:56that structure conscious. We can start
8:58to understand how it is you're
8:59cultivating those beliefs. I'll use
9:00myself as an example of how I structure
9:03the information for my beliefs, and this
9:04was very much a discovery. This is
9:06something that you don't just create out
9:09of nothing. What I discovered when I
9:11have beliefs about myself, beliefs that
9:12I feel certain about, what happens is is
9:15I organize those examples right here to
9:16my left. You might be thinking, "What do
9:18you mean organize that to your left?"
9:19You actually organize your internal
9:21information in the space around you.
9:23Most people tend to be on the visual
9:25side, but there's also other
9:26possibilities. There's auditory, there's
9:28also kinesthetic. Your beliefs are built
9:30on examples in your life, lived
9:32experiences. You can look at how they're
9:34being structured. So, like I said, mine
9:35are structured right here. When a belief
9:37feels very certain, that means I have a
9:39lot of examples in my life of that
9:41belief, and they show up right here on
9:42my left. They're about as big as my
9:44hand. They're visual, and I can see that
9:46they're stacked. I can see a row of
9:48beliefs stretching off into the
9:49distance. So, when a belief is very
9:51certain and solid, it's just seems like
9:53there's a perpetual endless
9:56list of examples that I can go through.
9:58What do I mean by the structure is,
9:59well, the location of the examples would
10:01be the structure. The size of them, the
10:03size of my hand, that's part of the
10:05structure. And they're also rather
10:07rectangular, somewhat square but
10:08rectangular. That's also part of the
10:10structure. When you uncover this
10:12structure and you understand how you
10:14create beliefs, especially about
10:15yourself, cuz those are going to be the
10:16most powerful ones. Once you know that
10:18structure, well, now you hold the keys
10:20to transform and create any belief you
10:23want to create. And if you want to know
10:24how to do that, there is a step-by-step
10:26process in the description below this
10:28video. There's a link to a free PDF to
10:30get it, or you can scan this QR code.
10:32First, watch the rest of this video, get
10:34the full understanding, and then get
10:36your hands on that PDF and do the steps.
10:39Once you get to this point where you've
10:41identified the limiting belief, you've
10:43learned how you structure beliefs that
10:45you feel certain about. And like I said,
10:47the ones that are going to be the most
10:48powerful are the beliefs you have
10:49directly about yourself, rather than the
10:51beliefs you have about the world around
10:52you. The reason why the beliefs about
10:54yourself are so powerful is because you
10:55take you wherever you go. Whereas, you
10:58can have a belief about a particular
10:59context, but once you go to a different
11:01context, then you're not in that context
11:03anymore, so that belief only applies to
11:04that one context. Your beliefs about
11:06yourself apply to your entire life. Now,
11:09you want to ask yourself, when you think
11:10about that limiting belief that you've
11:12identified, what would you rather
11:13believe instead? When I discovered that
11:15I had a belief that I was a failure, I
11:17knew what I wanted to believe instead. I
11:18wanted to believe that I was a success.
11:21And when I discovered this belief about
11:22not being able to make money doing
11:24anything that I enjoyed, and that in
11:25order to make money I had to do
11:26something that I didn't enjoy, so I
11:28asked myself, what would I rather
11:29believe instead? And it was obvious. I
11:31want to believe that it it's easier to
11:33make money doing something that I enjoy.
11:36And that kind of makes sense. So, I
11:37created kind of a thesis that it would
11:39be easier to make money doing something
11:41I enjoy, because I knew what it was like
11:43to make money doing something that I
11:44didn't enjoy. My insurance business, I
11:46hated it. It was terrible. I was
11:47miserable doing it. So, when things
11:48weren't going well, I didn't want to get
11:50out of bed. Like, it was just so bad.
11:51But, when I was started doing this
11:53business and I enjoyed so much, I love
11:55teaching and I love coaching. Even at
11:57times when this business wasn't doing
11:58well, because I enjoyed it, I still
12:00wanted to get up, I still wanted to do
12:01things. I went about transforming these
12:03beliefs. And how you do that is you have
12:05that template, you have that structure,
12:06you know how you create certain and
12:08solid beliefs. What you do is you go
12:09find examples in your life of times when
12:12you were this belief. For example, I
12:15went looking for every shred of evidence
12:18of me ever succeeding at anything. I
12:21left nothing out. Learning to walk,
12:23learning to tie my shoes, learning
12:25English, every test that I that I got an
12:28A on, graduating junior high, graduating
12:30high school, graduating college. We
12:31overlook so many of our successes and I
12:34was no exception here. I was putting all
12:36of my emphasis on all the times that I
12:37have failed, telling myself that I'm a
12:39failure so that I can try to not be a
12:41failure. This doesn't make a lot of
12:42sense. Now I had the structure of the
12:44certain and solid belief and then I
12:46started mapping in all of these examples
12:48of every time I ever succeeded in my
12:50entire life, no matter how small the
12:52example is and that's exactly what you
12:54should do as well. Some people say,
12:56"Well, I have too high of a standard."
12:57Well, drop your standard because that
12:59standard is not serving you at all.
13:00Telling yourself, "Well, I'm only
13:01successful when I achieve, you know,
13:03these lofty, high goals." And a lot of
13:05times people like to engage in
13:06perfectionism here. That does not serve
13:09you. In some circumstances, maybe super
13:11high standards would serve you, but when
13:13it comes to your beliefs about yourself,
13:15you want to use every shred of evidence
13:17that supports you in believing who you
13:19want to be and believing the beliefs
13:20that are going to get you to where you
13:22want to go. It does not help you in any
13:24way whatsoever to say, "Oh, I have such
13:26a high standard that I'm not going to
13:28allow all of these examples to be
13:30included. You're just wasting them." All
13:32of them support you in being who you
13:34want to be and believing what you want
13:35to believe. Why would you leave those
13:36out? Had I ever done anything that I
13:38enjoyed to make money? Yeah, those
13:41examples were there.
13:42Stuck them up right here.
13:44As I thought about it more and more, I
13:45found more and more examples of times
13:47like, "Yeah, okay, I enjoyed actually
13:49made money doing something that I
13:50enjoyed." Every time I thought about one
13:51of those, I stuck them right here on my
13:53left and structured them the exact same
13:55way I structure beliefs about myself
13:57that feel very certain and solid. And
13:59you will need to deal with the counter
14:01examples. The counter examples are the
14:03counter to you being the belief. You
14:06probably already have many of those.
14:07That's what your belief is based on now.
14:08So you're mapping in these examples of
14:10you being what you want to be and
14:12believing what you want to believe and
14:13then you'll need to deal with those
14:15counter examples and there's a way to do
14:16that in the process as well. What
14:18beliefs are are just ways of organizing
14:20your experiences. And when you organize
14:22them this way, this is what you believe
14:24about life. This is how you generalize
14:27life to be or categorize life. These
14:29words all are synonyms of each other.
14:31This is how you create meaning. And it's
14:33that structure that tells you that this
14:36is certain or not. And we think it's the
14:38content of our examples. We can say,
14:39"Well, I had this experience where I was
14:41rejected or or I failed at something."
14:43Yes, you had that experience, but it
14:44depends on how you structure that as to
14:47what you're going to do with it. Do you
14:48want that experience to serve you more
14:50in being who you are? If that's the
14:52case, you're not going to change the
14:53content of the experience. This
14:55experience happened the way that it
14:56happened. It's the structure, how you
14:58structure [snorts] it, that is going to
15:00enable you to learn from that experience
15:02and then include it in your beliefs in
15:05such a way that strengthens the beliefs
15:07that you want to believe are true about
15:08you and about your life. In other words,
15:10you're not pretending something is true.
15:13You're changing which evidence your mind
15:15organizes around. So, you get endless
15:17amounts of evidence. It just depends on
15:19which of this evidence that you've
15:21lived, that you've experienced
15:22throughout your life, is going to
15:23support you most. That's what you want
15:25to select and collect for and build or
15:27transform your beliefs around that. Do
15:29you know what the biggest, most powerful
15:31belief is that you are carrying around
15:34right now and have been carrying around
15:36for as long as you've had beliefs? It's
15:38your self-concept, your identity. Now,
15:40maybe you didn't know that your identity
15:42is actually a belief. Well, it is.
15:44Before I explain that, make sure you get
15:46your hands on that free PDF that will
15:47walk you through step-by-step how to
15:49uncover the structure of your beliefs so
15:52that you can transform beliefs. It's
15:53really important for you to understand
15:55how your identity is actually a belief
15:58because that holds the key and the clues
16:02to creating the fulfilling, rewarding
16:04life that you want. It's by becoming who
16:06you want to be, and that identity needs
16:08to be resilient, needs to be able to
16:10bounce back whenever necessary, whenever
16:12you're faced with challenges, and also
16:14lead you to greater and greater
16:15fulfillment. If you want to learn how to
16:17create a strong, resilient identity, one
16:20that leads you to greater and greater
16:21fulfillment and helps you create the
16:23life that you want to live, you will
16:24definitely want to check out this next
16:26video.

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