How Our Identities Are Socially Constructed | Florencia Escobedo Munoz | TEDxColegioAngloColombiano — Transcript

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1. 0:16Identity must be one of the most
2. 0:18controversial and delicate matters to
3. 0:20discuss nowadays.
4. 0:22As identity itself,
5. 0:24everyone has a different conception of
6. 0:26it, a different attitude towards it.
7. 0:30However, I've come to realize we all
8. 0:33agree identity is of great importance
9. 0:36and it rules our daily lives.
10. 0:38Identity determines what I do.
11. 0:41Identity determines how I react to the
12. 0:43world.
13. 0:44Identity determines how I see myself as,
14. 0:47obviously, and identity determines how
15. 0:50others see me.
16. 0:52So, if I tell you that I'm Colombian,
17. 0:55for example, this small machinery inside
18. 0:58your head starts working and quite fast,
19. 1:01really, in order to add to this mental
20. 1:03document you have about me.
21. 1:05She is Colombian.
22. 1:08And
23. 1:09it makes sense, right? Who I am and who
24. 1:12I act as determines how others see me,
25. 1:15identify me and recognize me as a person
26. 1:18and don't confuse me with the one right
27. 1:19next to me.
28. 1:21But
29. 1:22get this. I'm strongly convinced it
30. 1:25works the other way around, too. And
31. 1:27what do I mean by this?
32. 1:29There my actions, what I do, who I am,
33. 1:34my identity is totally ruled, bounded
34. 1:38and limited by what others say.
35. 1:41So, if we go back to this resume you
36. 1:44have about everyone you've ever met,
37. 1:48it is totally fake news.
38. 1:51And not fake news in the way that is
39. 1:53lie, but rather more that they're not
40. 1:56actually news at all because we're just
41. 1:58receiving the message we sent others
42. 2:02about themselves.
43. 2:04It's a vicious cycle of
44. 2:05miscommunication.
45. 2:08And
46. 2:09I told you I was Colombian not long ago,
47. 2:11right?
48. 2:12Well,
49. 2:13if we're going to be honest with each
50. 2:15other, that's not entirely true.
51. 2:19And before I answer the question most of
52. 2:21you must be
53. 2:23thinking about, where do I come from? I
54. 2:25want to ask you first, is my answer
55. 2:28going to change how you see me? Is my
56. 2:30identity going to change because of what
57. 2:33I'm I'm going to answer? Am I going to
58. 2:35change?
59. 2:38I was born and I was raised
60. 2:40in Chile and I lived a really long time
61. 2:43in there, too. I mean, long enough for a
62. 2:46teenager, anyways.
63. 2:47And so, I guess if you something's up,
64. 2:50I'm Chilean, right? I mean, you could
65. 2:52call me Chilean.
66. 2:54But
67. 2:55what if we add to this equation also
68. 2:58living, caring, and considering home
69. 3:00another country?
70. 3:02I personally believe the answer is not
71. 3:04being a traitor or nothing like that.
72. 3:07But
73. 3:08I actually think it's my identity's
74. 3:10changing.
75. 3:12So,
76. 3:13well, all my family friends,
77. 3:15all my childhood friends, all my family,
78. 3:19all the street names I remember, they
79. 3:21all lead back to Chile.
80. 3:23So, what makes me so reluctant after so
81. 3:27many years of calling myself Chilean?
82. 3:30And you know, it's not because we're not
83. 3:32going to the World Cup. I mean,
84. 3:34kind of, yeah. No, no, but real talk,
85. 3:38I'm doubting, after 15 years of not
86. 3:41doing so, in calling myself Chilean
87. 3:44because that would immediately
88. 3:46invalidate the possibility of calling
89. 3:48myself Colombian.
90. 3:50And you know, let me highlight that I'm
91. 3:52not precisely saying that I want and
92. 3:56feel ready to call myself Colombian
93. 3:58because I still think that I need to
94. 3:59live so many years in here and learn so
95. 4:02many things in order to do so. But,
96. 4:05Colombia is so a big part of my
97. 4:08identity, is a big part of who I am
98. 4:10right now.
99. 4:12And I still think that I have the right
100. 4:15to call myself Colombian, but well,
101. 4:17although I still need to learn the
102. 4:18national anthem, although I still need
103. 4:21need to learn how to dance, although I
104. 4:23have to visit so many places in this
105. 4:25beautiful country, and although I have
106. 4:27to meet I have to live so many so many
107. 4:30other years in here,
108. 4:31until that day comes, until that until
109. 4:34the day comes that people see me as
110. 4:36Colombian, and until I see myself as
111. 4:39Colombian,
112. 4:41I will not call myself Chilean, either.
113. 4:44Because identity has become something
114. 4:46exclusive,
115. 4:47static, and something really similar to
116. 4:50high school group project. And why am I
117. 4:53saying high school group project?
118. 4:55Because, you see, identity needs to be
119. 4:59constructed with others. You cannot
120. 5:01construct your identity by yourself.
121. 5:02That's impossible. You need the help of
122. 5:06others to construct your own identity.
123. 5:08And in that case, identity is a group
124. 5:11project.
125. 5:12However, nowadays, identity is not
126. 5:16working like that. It's working like a
127. 5:17high school group project because where
128. 5:20everyone is supposed to collaborate, but
129. 5:23almost no one does so.
130. 5:25And you know, that's so sad
131. 5:28given that I believe identity is the
132. 5:31complete opposite.
133. 5:33Nothing about exclusiveness. Identity is
134. 5:35all about unlimited options. The more
135. 5:38things you have to say about yourself,
136. 5:40the better.
137. 5:41Nothing about static. Identity is all
138. 5:44about change and being able to improve
139. 5:46and progress.
140. 5:48And nothing about a high school group
141. 5:50project identity is more like an
142. 5:52athletics team. And
143. 5:54why specifically an athletics team?
144. 5:57Let me first tell you a really short
145. 5:59story that I know many athletes around
146. 6:02the world are going to agree with me.
147. 6:04One of the things we get asked the most
148. 6:07as athletes is
149. 6:09why don't you like team sports?
150. 6:11Are you so individualistic you don't
151. 6:13like engaging with others?
152. 6:15I once even got told that I like the
153. 6:17glory of the victory for myself and
154. 6:19that's why I don't play football,
155. 6:21volleyball, or stuff like that.
156. 6:24But you know, people are really wrong
157. 6:26because athletics it's all about
158. 6:28teamwork.
159. 6:29Because if it weren't, when I've been
160. 6:31running for over an hour and I am tired
161. 6:34and I'm exhausted and I want to finish,
162. 6:36if it weren't because of my teammates, I
163. 6:39would have never pushed myself and I
164. 6:40would have never been proof.
165. 6:42And because if it weren't because of my
166. 6:44best friend, I would have never crossed
167. 6:47the finish line so many times because
168. 6:49he's shouting at me to push and to run
169. 6:51faster.
170. 6:54Chuck Palahniuk once wrote,
171. 6:58"Nothing of me is original. I'm the
172. 7:00combined effort of everyone I've ever
173. 7:03known."
174. 7:05Have you ever wondered how would you
175. 7:07know some things about yourself if it
176. 7:09weren't for others?
177. 7:10How would you know you have a twitch in
178. 7:12your mouth or you raise your eyebrows
179. 7:14when you're surprised or that you get
180. 7:16really excited when talking about that
181. 7:18thing you like the most?
182. 7:21For my part, I would have never known
183. 7:23that I have that I have such a weird
184. 7:26accent that sometimes is really
185. 7:28difficult to understand.
186. 7:29But because I interact with others, I
187. 7:32can know and I do.
188. 7:36And you know, there's a really fun thing
189. 7:38about identity, not really fun, but the
190. 7:41thing is that as the saying goes, you
191. 7:43should know yourself better than
192. 7:45everyone else, right? But have you ever
193. 7:48met yourself as you have met others?
194. 7:51I mean, yeah, you have seen pictures,
195. 7:53videos, you have heard voice notes, you
196. 7:56have taken a glance at the mirror. I can
197. 7:58look at my feet and if I try really hard
198. 8:00at the tip of my nose, but I've never
199. 8:02met myself like I've met you, right?
200. 8:06And that's the fun thing about identity,
201. 8:09that you need to construct it with
202. 8:11others.
203. 8:14Now,
204. 8:16um
205. 8:19well,
206. 8:20there I have met a lot of people
207. 8:23in this school that
208. 8:25want themselves to call they want to
209. 8:28call themselves Colombian. However, they
210. 8:30are restricted. They cannot call
211. 8:33themselves Colombian because of their
212. 8:35physical appearance or maybe because
213. 8:38they look they have come from somewhere
214. 8:40else or because their family ties leads
215. 8:41them
216. 8:42from another place of the world.
217. 8:45And that can't really happen because
218. 8:48your identity is about you, right?
219. 8:51And well, I've been thinking about it
220. 8:54and well, you have heard of eat, sleep,
221. 8:55train, repeat. So, now get ready for
222. 8:58receive, accept, express, repeat.
223. 9:00And what I've seen through others and
224. 9:03what I think of myself, this is what the
225. 9:05four steps of constructing your identity
226. 9:08with others looks like.
227. 9:11So, first, we have receive.
228. 9:13You have to be open to the information
229. 9:15that surrounds you. You have to pay
230. 9:16attention about what others tell you and
231. 9:19you have to pay attention about how you
232. 9:21react to things because the smallest
233. 9:24detail can tell you the biggest things
234. 9:25about yourself.
235. 9:27Second, accept.
236. 9:30Once you have all this information, you
237. 9:32have to accept things. And by this, I do
238. 9:34not mean that you have to accept
239. 9:36everything everyone tells you. You have
240. 9:38to accept that sometimes people are
241. 9:40wrong and sometimes people are right.
242. 9:43Accept that your mother knows you better
243. 9:46than everyone else and accept that she's
244. 9:48right by saying that you are a really
245. 9:50lazy person.
246. 9:52Or accept people are wrong and accept
247. 9:54that your best friend is wrong by saying
248. 9:57that you are really proud person.
249. 9:59Accept things.
250. 10:01Third, express.
251. 10:03Now you have all this information, you
252. 10:05have deliberated, you know who you are,
253. 10:07you have to express it.
254. 10:09And this is the most important part. You
255. 10:11have to show the world who you are. You
256. 10:12have to react to the world who you are.
257. 10:15You have to do the things that define
258. 10:17who you are. See yourself as who you are
259. 10:20and others will see you.
260. 10:23Lastly,
261. 10:24repeat. Because you can't expect to gain
262. 10:27results if you go to the gym once a
263. 10:30year, right? The same things happen
264. 10:32here. You have to repeat. Repeat because
265. 10:34practice makes perfect. Repeat because
266. 10:37Rome wasn't built in a day.
267. 10:40And now, before I finish, I want you to
268. 10:43think one last time
269. 10:45of my identity issue and not because I'm
270. 10:48greedy or something like that. I want
271. 10:49you to think of my identity issue
272. 10:51because I believe it's the perfect
273. 10:53metaphor to identity issues all around
274. 10:56the world.
275. 10:57Because it applies. Because when you're
276. 11:00having an identity issue because of your
277. 11:02career, your profession, gender,
278. 11:04nationality, religion, culture, so many
279. 11:07things,
280. 11:08you have to deliberate. You first have
281. 11:10to recognize there's a problem. Because
282. 11:12if there's if there isn't a problem,
283. 11:14there's nothing to fix.
284. 11:16And because if you don't recognize
285. 11:18you're playing a game, you can't never
286. 11:20win.
287. 11:21Thank you very much.