How Men Fall in LOVE - Psychology of the MALE BRAIN in Love — Transcript

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1. 0:00have you ever wondered how men fall in love what  goes inside their minds and hearts when they start
2. 0:07to develop an infatuation throughout my years  of personal experience and research I tried to
3. 0:12gain a deeper understanding of Human Relationships  right and one of the things that I noticed is that
4. 0:17all the falling in love is a universal process  there's some key differences between the way
5. 0:23that men and women behave during the love stages  so in this video I want to share my insights with
6. 0:29you and by the end of it I hope that you have  a greater understanding of the male perspective
7. 0:35on love which can help you to navigate your own  relationships so grab a seat and let's Dive In
8. 0:43now let's take a closer look at the stages that  we go through when falling in love understanding
9. 0:49these stages can give us you know valuable  insights into the emotional Journey that men
10. 0:53experience and according to the research of Dr  Helen Fisher she's like a renowned biological
11. 0:58Anthropologist love can be divided into three main  stages okay so pay attention to this the first
12. 1:05stage is called lust and it's important to know  that lust is not the same as love it's driven by
13. 1:11hormones like testosterone and men and estrogen  and women and lust it's just like a temporary
14. 1:17feeling on the desire for sexual gratification  it's a natural instinct right that helps us find
15. 1:23potential partners for reproduction it's when  you see somebody and you really check them out
16. 1:28and you're like damn I I really want to be with  that person you know physically so then there's
17. 1:33stage two where we have attraction also known  as romantic love during this stage your focus
18. 1:39in energy are directed towards that one person  you think about them constantly right and you
19. 1:45crave their company this stage is driven by three  chemicals in our brain norepinephrine dopamine and
20. 1:51serotonin it's like a powerful Rush of energy and  excitement scientists even compare this stage to
21. 1:57addiction because it activates the brain's Reward  Center almost like the same as when people have
22. 2:03cocaine that's like that's how impactful this  is and has a strong impact and your emotions
23. 2:08and behavior right so typically the attraction  stage lasts from like six months to two years
24. 2:14and finally then we have stage three attachment  this is a crucial stage for men seeking long-term
25. 2:21relationships it's a more stable and Lasting form  of love right compared to the intense attraction
26. 2:27that you feel on that stage and after around four  years in the relationship you know the initial
27. 2:32infatuation starts to fade maybe you experience  this right however Something Beautiful happens
28. 2:37when this occurs right two hormones oxytocin  and vasopressin come into play and they create
29. 2:43a sense of attachment and nurture your bond with  your partner and don't think about you know there
30. 2:49is healthy attachments and don't think about this  as codependent see this stage is about building
31. 2:54a life together you know raising a family and  finding contentment in each other's presence now
32. 2:59let me point out that love doesn't always follow  you know a strict progression this is not like a
33. 3:05complete you know map that everybody follows but  what most relationships start with lust and then
34. 3:11move into attachments some guys may skip these  two and go straight into attachment and this can
35. 3:16happen in situations like arranged uh marriages  right where love and connection develop over
36. 3:22time or some other guys may only feel lust and  they never get to feel attraction in even less
37. 3:28uh attachments and that's when they you know stop  replying to you they pull away or they ghost you
38. 3:35never make a man chase you I know some of the  most popular videos that you ladies watch say
39. 3:42things like how to make him chase you right  well here's what you haven't thought about
40. 3:46a secure man will never chase he will  Express that he's interested in you but
41. 3:51if you start playing hard to get or any  other manipulative game he will direct
42. 3:56his attention somewhere else a man that chases  you intensely is a man that likes the feeling
43. 4:02of pursuing what's out of his reach so once  he has you a few months or a few years may
44. 4:08pass but eventually in most cases he will  have to drive to chase someone else again
45. 4:18now let's dig deeper into how men actually fall  in love like I mentioned before you know men and
46. 4:24women have different chemical players right when  it comes to falling in love and one of the most
47. 4:29important differences is the role of oxytocin  which remember oxytocin as as the chemical that
48. 4:36creates kind of like a sense of attachment with  the other person and an interesting fact is that
49. 4:41when men are in the early stages of dating their  testosterone levels actually tend to be higher so
50. 4:47this increase in testosterone blocks the bonding  effects of oxytocin and as the relationship
51. 4:52progresses actually oxytocin gradually begins  to play a more prominent role for men so what
52. 4:58does this mean it means that genuine Love Takes  a lot of time to develop in a man's brain and
53. 5:05it's not solely based on physical attraction  so if you want a man to experience the depths
54. 5:10of love you need to make sure that you build a  strong emotional connection with him over time
55. 5:17now let's address a common misconception in  society that men fall in love solely through
56. 5:24physical intimacy right one of the experts  I follow online she's a biologist named uh
57. 5:30Don masler and you can check some of her work  here on YouTube she's got some TED talks but
58. 5:35basically she points out that the notion that  men automatically fall in love in the bedroom
59. 5:40is not entirely accurate in fact some men may  even lose interest if intercourse happens too
60. 5:48quickly and this phenomenon is known as the  Coolidge effect this is a phenomenon observed
61. 5:53in animals where males lose interest in mating  with the same female but show increased interest
62. 5:59in new females and this effect can sometimes  come into play when sex happens too quickly
63. 6:04in human relationships potentially leading  to a loss of Interest however you know it's
64. 6:10important to note again that the coolish effect  doesn't apply in every case right man can still
65. 6:16fall in love with women they have early sex  social encounters with but I would say it's
66. 6:20less likely and I have experienced this in my  own life where I slept with someone and right
67. 6:26afterwards I realized that I only had lust for  them and I I completely lost interest in a week
68. 6:32that's why I always give the advice to wait  to get to know each other better especially
69. 6:36if you're a woman trying to get to know a man  and let the initial uh the initial lust stage
70. 6:42fade out because it's like if you swallow food  right without chewing it first you cannot really
71. 6:47appreciate the taste of it and let me confess to  you that I've had a lot of casual sex in the past
72. 6:54and although it may have felt good right at the  moment for a couple of hours or sometimes for a
73. 7:00couple of minutes I always craved something more  but I couldn't point out what it was because I had
74. 7:06not experienced it like I explained in the last  stage our testosterone levels are higher and we
75. 7:12want to satisfy our needs so a lot of men are not  conscious enough to play the long game game and
76. 7:18they go for instant gratification because doing  the opposite is basically fighting against your
77. 7:24animal instincts and hormones especially  when you find a woman quite attractive and
78. 7:28is definitely an inner battle that a lot of men  cannot you know really face and it took me almost
79. 7:34a decade to realize that but once I experienced  profound intimacy and genuine love for a woman I
80. 7:40understood that you know it took time for that to  develop and now since I've been single for 2023 I
81. 7:46actually I try to abstain from sleeping with  women that are not in a relationship with me
82. 7:51and I try to encourage other men and women like  yourself to do the same okay so that's it for
83. 7:57today I hope that you learned a lot about the  male psychology and falling in love and if you
84. 8:02like this video please subscribe to the channel  and also give it a thumbs up I hope that you
85. 8:07have a beautiful day and always remember that for  your relationships to change you need to change