How I quit maladaptive daydreaming, and how you can too. — Transcript

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1. 0:00so you've got a problem and of course by
2. 0:04clicking on this video I already know
3. 0:06what it is you're struggling with Mal
4. 0:08adaptive thoughts Daydreams or things
5. 0:10you might be telling yourself to put it
6. 0:13pretty straightforward I struggled with
7. 0:15this for a very very long time as far
8. 0:18back as I can remember it started when I
9. 0:20was around 11 or 12 years old I started
10. 0:24having really negative self image issues
11. 0:28as well as body IM issues and my
12. 0:31thoughts began to spiral from there not
13. 0:34only that but I also began to become
14. 0:36trapped within these fantasies of me
15. 0:39going into conflict with people I had
16. 0:42recent conflict with and people who I
17. 0:44had terrible relationship with in
18. 0:47general this was only
19. 0:51detrimental it acted as a cycle of me
20. 0:55finding a flaw Within Myself and then me
21. 0:58finding a Daydream to escape from it
22. 1:03this only made things worse because I
23. 1:05would become upset with myself for
24. 1:07daydreaming and then my only way of
25. 1:09coping with it was by daydreaming
26. 1:13further and it was this vicious cycle of
27. 1:16me being upset with the way I thought
28. 1:20the way I looked and the things that I
29. 1:22would think about it took me
30. 1:26approximately 6 to8 years before I
31. 1:28realized that this was going getting
32. 1:30toxic to the point where I couldn't
33. 1:32focus I couldn't do school and I
34. 1:35couldn't focus on my goals and dreams
35. 1:37and the realization about this really
36. 1:39started I think when I started working
37. 1:41for example um I got a new job and I was
38. 1:45vulnerable which was another fear of
39. 1:47mine and I had avoided being vulnerable
40. 1:50for so long and when I was at my job it
41. 1:54required me to focus and I had to allow
42. 1:56myself to be vulnerable to people's
43. 1:58opinions of me and what they would say
44. 2:00about me and how I performed at my job
45. 2:03and Etc this is when I realized that I
46. 2:06need to sit down with myself and I have
47. 2:08to like mentally talk to myself like I
48. 2:12remember this one night where I just
49. 2:13looked in the mirror and I had this
50. 2:15conversation with myself about how I
51. 2:17really needed to get my act together and
52. 2:19how I needed to just quit daydreaming
53. 2:22completely I took a break for a little
54. 2:24bit and I began to do Shadow work as in
55. 2:26I started to assess why I would have the
56. 2:30thoughts that I would have and to be
57. 2:33specific I would go beyond these
58. 2:35Daydreams of conflict with people who I
59. 2:38had previous conflict with they were
60. 2:41Daydreams about relationships and love
61. 2:45and being seen in a in an egotistical
62. 2:49way I think it was around the time when
63. 2:53I entered my second year of college is
64. 2:55when I really began my journey of ending
65. 2:58this cycle of Mal adaptive daydreaming
66. 3:00so anyway I'm going to start explaining
67. 3:02these techniques that I use to quit
68. 3:05maladaptive daydreaming keep in mind
69. 3:07that this is something you really have
70. 3:09to be patient for because it took me
71. 3:12almost an entire year to become fully
72. 3:15clean of malap of daydreaming so I think
73. 3:18the first thing that I did to start
74. 3:20alleviating these Daydreams was by
75. 3:22grounding myself and by this I mean like
76. 3:25really feeling into my physical body now
77. 3:29I know lot of people can relate to this
78. 3:31and I think cerebral personalities
79. 3:33personalities with a lot of mental
80. 3:34activity often are very flighty like I
81. 3:38want to say like a lot of people with
82. 3:39ADHD tend to be this way they tend to be
83. 3:41in a constant flight or flight it's a
84. 3:44constant anxious energy I've noticed
85. 3:47that whenever I get into this state of
86. 3:50maladaptive daydreaming I tend to become
87. 3:54like more anxious and I tend to get into
88. 3:57my fight ORF flight mode the biggest
89. 3:59thing that I did to alleviate this was
90. 4:01just like becoming okay with feeling how
91. 4:05my body feels like if you ever notice
92. 4:08when you're like really tense that can
93. 4:10be a tendency to just like jump out of
94. 4:12your own skin and that was like the
95. 4:14literal case for me like I was literally
96. 4:16running away from my own body cuz I did
97. 4:18not want to feel my physical self
98. 4:20because of that insecurity and not
99. 4:22everybody who goes through Mal adaptive
100. 4:24daydreaming can feel that way but it is
101. 4:26the case for a lot of people because the
102. 4:28majority of people I know who have gone
103. 4:30through this maladaptive daydreaming
104. 4:31phase have felt that way if you want to
105. 4:35start feeling better within your body I
106. 4:37would highly recommend meditating on a
107. 4:40daily basis I have been doing this for I
108. 4:43think about 3 months now and I finally
109. 4:46become like 100% clean of negative
110. 4:49thoughts and then just like paying
111. 4:50attention to when you have any tension
112. 4:52in your body because it feeds that urge
113. 4:58to like jump out of your skin another
114. 5:00theory on why I think that a lot of
115. 5:03people who have maladaptive thoughts
116. 5:05have a hard time staying in their body
117. 5:07is because they're like metaphorically
118. 5:10like literally up in the clouds like
119. 5:11they can't bring themselves down and
120. 5:13feel how their body feels and that was
121. 5:15definitely the case with me like I was
122. 5:17to the point where I was super impulsive
123. 5:21because I didn't want to feel how my
124. 5:23body felt because I was that high up in
125. 5:26the clouds I will admit it was very hard
126. 5:28for me to start gring myself at first
127. 5:31because the first time is always the
128. 5:32hardest time I'm sure that's that sounds
129. 5:35very monotonous but it is more than true
130. 5:39I remember the first time that I was
131. 5:40practicing grounding I was in my car and
132. 5:45I was really tensed up and I was not
133. 5:47comfortable with being comfortable with
134. 5:50my body a year later after doing this
135. 5:52practice I got to the point where I was
136. 5:54okay with my body and my thoughts began
137. 5:57to diminish and I began to focus on my
138. 5:59suround surroundings this can equate to
139. 6:02mindfulness in a lot of different ways
140. 6:05because mindfulness is basically the
141. 6:07practice of being aware of your
142. 6:09surroundings it's the practice of
143. 6:11engaging all of your five senses in the
144. 6:14present moment and I did this in so many
145. 6:17numerous ways like I would often just
146. 6:19like listen to music and really let it
147. 6:22saturate my mind and like try to be
148. 6:24aware of my thoughts not let them drift
149. 6:26off into autopilot while I was listening
150. 6:28to music or I would walk or I would work
151. 6:31up because that's one of the best ways
152. 6:33that you can bring yourself back down
153. 6:35into your body it's a double benefit
154. 6:37because not only are you taking care of
155. 6:40your physical health by working up
156. 6:42weight you're also taking care of your
157. 6:43mental health asides from working out
158. 6:46and just really grounding yourself in
159. 6:48your physical body another thing I want
160. 6:50to mention is that I did extreme amounts
161. 6:52of journaling I started journaling back
162. 6:55in late
163. 6:572023 and I've been going at this for I'd
164. 7:00say probably a good year I mean I still
165. 7:03journal every day I still do Shadow work
166. 7:05in fact I just got a new journal on
167. 7:06Shadow work but what I did was like I
168. 7:09hyper
169. 7:11analyzed every single thought that I
170. 7:13would have and I would question it and I
171. 7:16would like metaphorically take a string
172. 7:20and connect the dots between the
173. 7:23thoughts that I was having and see like
174. 7:25what's the pattern between my thoughts
175. 7:27why am I having these thoughts what is
176. 7:28my subcon conscious mind doing to me did
177. 7:32that for like 4 months and then I began
178. 7:35to understand myself more which was
179. 7:38really helpful because then I could
180. 7:40actually predict what my actions or
181. 7:42reactions would be in the future based
182. 7:45on any stimuli that happened to come
183. 7:48into my life I know how you feel if this
184. 7:51is something you're ashamed of because I
185. 7:53was ashamed of this for six years of my
186. 7:56life like I said before you don't have
187. 7:58to feel ashamed of it and this is not me
188. 8:02telling you what to do this is just me
189. 8:04giving you advice on how to quit a nasty
190. 8:06habit like this because so many people
191. 8:08struggle from this especially in a
192. 8:10generation where we are so hardwired
193. 8:13towards being cerebral to the point that
194. 8:15it has cost us our own focus and our own
195. 8:18presence as well as awareness I really
196. 8:21hope that you could take a few things
197. 8:23away from this video and invigorate them
198. 8:25into your own plan for quitting whatever
199. 8:29Happ you're having within your mind and
200. 8:31I will see you in the next one bye