How 3 words will change your life | Johanna Feick | TEDxTwenteU — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:05I wish I had the courage to live life
2. 0:09true to
3. 0:10myself and not according to the
4. 0:14expectations and wishes of
5. 0:16others now not living life true to
6. 0:21oneself is one of the top regrets of the
7. 0:24elderly according to prony wear's famous
8. 0:27book the top regrets of the
9. 0:28Dy and I think we've all been there
10. 0:33situations where we've given up on
11. 0:35ourselves before we even started telling
12. 0:40ourselves that we
13. 0:42can't and then then we won't we live up
14. 0:46to our own self-made
15. 0:50prophecy I grew up in
16. 0:53Germany I moved to a small town when I
17. 0:56was a child the type of small town were
18. 0:59even 10 years later people still
19. 1:01consider it to be an
20. 1:02outsider and I was a misfit my dreams of
21. 1:06making it big traveling the world and
22. 1:09moving abroad they were seen as fairy
23. 1:11tale beliefs as
24. 1:14ridiculous maybe even as an
25. 1:16offense and I was told that I can't that
26. 1:21people like us
27. 1:23can't now for a long time in my life
28. 1:25that used to be my go-to excuse Big
29. 1:28Dreams and small ones alike I told
30. 1:31myself that I
31. 1:33can't their prophecy became my
32. 1:37own until I decided to change now I can
33. 1:42still remember that moment as vividly as
34. 1:45if it was yesterday I was walking
35. 1:47through the small forest in Spring a
36. 1:50priest flowing around me circulating
37. 1:53flower pettles all in the air I felt as
38. 1:55if I was in some sort of movie because
39. 1:58that was the very moment I had some sort
40. 2:00of epiphany I was fresh out of high
41. 2:03school and I knew exactly what was
42. 2:06expected of me it almost felt as if my
43. 2:09entire life has been written out by
44. 2:12someone else I have to study I have to
45. 2:16find a stable job marry and have
46. 2:18children but at the age of 19 that is
47. 2:21not exactly what I want to do I want to
48. 2:24travel the world and I want to learn
49. 2:27about life and people and myself and I'm
50. 2:30so young and hopeful and creative and
51. 2:34full of
52. 2:35ideas and yet again I am met with an all
53. 2:38too familiar reality I'm told that I
54. 2:43can't that people like me
55. 2:46can't but I I don't want to be confined
56. 2:51by what other people want my life to
57. 2:54look like so in that very moment
58. 2:57standing in this small for Forest
59. 3:00surrounded by all these pink beautiful
60. 3:02flower petals I start entertaining a
61. 3:05single thought how can I and I will I
62. 3:12decide that I want to travel first so I
63. 3:15start researching visa requirements cost
64. 3:18of living airplane ticket all these
65. 3:21things that I had absolutely nothing to
66. 3:23do with until that time I researched it
67. 3:26I made a plan I executed it and two
68. 3:29months later
69. 3:30I'm sitting in an airplane to South
70. 3:32Korea all alone at 19 years old barely
71. 3:36able to speak Korean knowing full well
72. 3:38that just speaking English isn't exactly
73. 3:41going to be enough and with just enough
74. 3:44money in my pockets to last me for
75. 3:45roughly two months the thought that I
76. 3:49can was still just a concept inside of
77. 3:53my mind it was unproven but I am
78. 3:56determined to prove them and my own
79. 3:59doubts
80. 4:00wrong and it works out I stay for the
81. 4:04entire duration of my Visa 12 months in
82. 4:07total I even travel to Thailand and
83. 4:09Japan I pick up different odd jobs and
84. 4:12ultimately even get my first real job as
85. 4:15a marketing manager and I come back to
86. 4:18Germany and I'm full of motivation I
87. 4:20moved to a large city found a company
88. 4:23and my team my co-founders and I we make
89. 4:26it work by the age of 22 I'm already
90. 4:29able to fulfill one of my dreams living
91. 4:33my passion by Leading products and teams
92. 4:36in Tech and now just a few years later
93. 4:38I'm so grateful to be in a position
94. 4:40where I can support other people on
95. 4:42their journey by asking
96. 4:44myself how can I I even gave myself the
97. 4:49chance to prove that I can and I gave
98. 4:51myself the chance to live life true to
99. 4:55myself now finding out how you can it is
100. 5:00quite the exciting journey and it's not
101. 5:03an easy one but it is so worth it first
102. 5:07we need to clearly identify what it is
103. 5:10that we want in life but just knowing
104. 5:13what you want is not enough you have to
105. 5:15dig a little bit deeper perhaps you're
106. 5:18familiar with Simon sy's famous tat talk
107. 5:20start with why and just like that we
108. 5:23also need to start with why we need to
109. 5:26ask ourselves why again and again and
110. 5:29again
111. 5:30until we get to the bottom of what it is
112. 5:33what we truly desire in
113. 5:35life if you seek wealth and success
114. 5:39because you're hoping that it will help
115. 5:41you find love perhaps it will serve you
116. 5:44better to seek love
117. 5:46instead but even when we understand our
118. 5:49why we get stuck so often I've seen this
119. 5:53many times
120. 5:55firsthand people having this Grand
121. 5:58Vision of what they like life should be
122. 6:00like but never really asking themselves
123. 6:03how they can make it happen it almost
124. 6:07seems as if the fear gap of asking
125. 6:10ourselves how is as big as the fear of
126. 6:13taking action
127. 6:15itself if we don't ask ourselves how we
128. 6:17can we can tell ourselves that
129. 6:20everything we want in life is just a
130. 6:22fairy tale belief that it is what it is
131. 6:25and that nothing can be done and that
132. 6:28can be oddly comfortable because we get
133. 6:31to offload an entire portion of
134. 6:34responsibility we also get to avoid some
135. 6:37sort of pain we don't ask someone that
136. 6:41we like out on a date because we fear
137. 6:42the rejection we don't switch careers
138. 6:46even though we don't like our current
139. 6:47one because we fear the failure and we
140. 6:50don't live as our authentic self because
141. 6:52we fear to be
142. 6:54judged but that that also means that
143. 6:57some decisions or even most decisions
144. 7:01are going to be made for you and not by
145. 7:05you and that can often lead to
146. 7:09regret now that is not how it has to be
147. 7:12like the things we desire the change
148. 7:16that we seek it is always on the other
149. 7:18side of our own comfort zone grow
150. 7:21involves Growing
151. 7:23Pains but only if we take the step to
152. 7:26ask ourselves how we can will we be able
153. 7:30to find ways that we
154. 7:33can we might even realize that the
155. 7:36reality that we created inside of our
156. 7:38own mind is not the reality right in
157. 7:41front of us and all around
158. 7:43us we might also realize that all the
159. 7:46rejection and the failure and the
160. 7:49Judgment that we feared so much is
161. 7:52actually never going to
162. 7:54happen now whenever we're talking about
163. 7:57change we think we have to have a
164. 8:00mindset change I used to think the exact
165. 8:03same thing and perhaps you're thinking
166. 8:05the same in this very moment that you
167. 8:08have to change your
168. 8:09mindset but the truth is as simple as it
169. 8:13is hard you need to take action because
170. 8:17action equals motivation and action is
171. 8:20active change when I went to South Korea
172. 8:24or when I started my first company I was
173. 8:27not sure that I can I hadn't underwent
174. 8:30some magical mindset change that gave me
175. 8:33a 100% confidence score that I can do
176. 8:37this I just decided to take action
177. 8:40because I didn't want these experiences
178. 8:43letting me pass by I decided to take
179. 8:47action against my own doubts against the
180. 8:50doubts of everyone around me and maybe
181. 8:52even against all others but I gave
182. 8:55myself the chance to learn how I can and
183. 8:59in the same sense learning how you can
184. 9:02consists of a step of
185. 9:05actions first you have to decide what it
186. 9:08is that you want to focus on now it
187. 9:11doesn't matter whether that's a big or a
188. 9:13small thing it doesn't have to be
189. 9:15someone that everyone else will perceive
190. 9:17as
191. 9:18crant it is just important that it is
192. 9:20something that you are really passionate
193. 9:22about something that you hold dear to
194. 9:25your heart and then don't even go down
195. 9:29the entire Rabbit Hole of
196. 9:31self-doubt you don't even need to think
197. 9:33about your goal in the context of
198. 9:35whether you personally believe you can
199. 9:37do it you just want to entertain the
200. 9:40thought how someone would go about
201. 9:43achieving this it's a little trick
202. 9:46that's fairly effective at least for
203. 9:49me when I started my company I didn't
204. 9:52know anything about managing or starting
205. 9:54a company at all I didn't grow up in an
206. 9:56entrepreneurial
207. 9:58family and I didn't really have any
208. 10:00mentors so the only thing in that moment
209. 10:03that I could do was look for any type of
210. 10:08information about this topic so I
211. 10:11started reading through online articles
212. 10:14guides YouTube videos and I collected
213. 10:17all information that I could about how
214. 10:19other people have done this I even found
215. 10:22a startup program where they teach you
216. 10:24these type of things and I listed down
217. 10:27every single thing that I found and I
218. 10:29researched every single item until I had
219. 10:32a pretty good understanding of what it
220. 10:34is that needs to be done in theory for a
221. 10:37company to
222. 10:39succeed and after that I had enough
223. 10:42information to start setting milestones
224. 10:45for myself and breaking them down into
225. 10:49actions for
226. 10:51example setting up the legal entity of a
227. 10:54company could be a milestone and things
228. 10:57such as finding a lawyer
229. 10:59preparing what questions you want to ask
230. 11:01that lawyer and ultimately having the
231. 11:03meeting with them and then have your
232. 11:05follow-up items on your to-do list are
233. 11:08potential things that you can do to make
234. 11:11your dream come true step by step now no
235. 11:14matter how big or small your goal is the
236. 11:17Baseline of this always stays the same
237. 11:20if you want to run a marathon for
238. 11:22example you're most likely not going to
239. 11:25sign up for the marathon and run it
240. 11:27without any prior training
241. 11:30you will most likely want to understand
242. 11:32everything that is connected to this
243. 11:35specific
244. 11:36goal how when and where do marathons
245. 11:39happen what is your current Fitness
246. 11:41level how do you need to train how often
247. 11:44do you need to train what do you need to
248. 11:47eat in order to get fit enough perhaps
249. 11:50you'd even like to enlist a personal
250. 11:52coach that will help you make your plan
251. 11:55but ultimately the only way for it to
252. 11:59turn into something real is by making
253. 12:02this plan by setting the milestones and
254. 12:05by creating these daily action items so
255. 12:08you can take a step towards your goal
256. 12:10every single day in terms of a marathon
257. 12:13perhaps that's doing some stretches or
258. 12:15going for a
259. 12:17run and no matter again how big or small
260. 12:20it is that you want to do as soon as you
261. 12:23think it is
262. 12:25impossible you need to go through this
263. 12:27process because that's how you make it
264. 12:30possible starting a company seems
265. 12:32impossible calling up a lawyer to get
266. 12:34some information or a tax
267. 12:37consultant very possible on the other
268. 12:39hand and that at the end of the day is
269. 12:43the answer to how you can you need to
270. 12:46learn everything that comes with this
271. 12:47goal and you need to turn it into an
272. 12:50action plan and execute it that is the
273. 12:52answer to the question and that is also
274. 12:55the blueprint to life
275. 12:57itself now whenever we take the first
276. 13:00step honestly it's super scary no matter
277. 13:02how often you do it but what is even
278. 13:06scarier is having life pass you
279. 13:09by because one thing is for sure if you
280. 13:12take a step
281. 13:15ahead show courage and go against your
282. 13:17fears you're not going to regret the
283. 13:20courage that you've shown but if you
284. 13:22cover in front of your fear you're most
285. 13:25likely going to regret not living life
286. 13:28true to
287. 13:30yourself so don't Be Your Own Prison
288. 13:34don't tell yourself that you can't and
289. 13:36don't let other people tell you what
290. 13:38your life should look like instead I'd
291. 13:42like to challenge you on this very
292. 13:44evening to ask yourselves How can I
293. 13:59sh