Hood JJK Season 1: The Smoke Came With No Tutorial | Episode 2 — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00content is a fan created parody. I do
2. 0:02not possess any rights to the anime or
3. 0:04manga of Jiujutsu Kaizen. Kindly show
4. 0:07your support by accessing the official
5. 0:09release.
6. 0:20[music]
7. 0:24[music]
8. 0:43I'm not trying to hate and [ __ ] but I
9. 0:45got to ask cuz why Gojo leave me in
10. 0:48charge when he gone and [ __ ]
11. 0:50Cuz he said so.
12. 0:53Really? Cuz he's right. Those are the
13. 0:55words straight out of his mouth. A [ __ ]
14. 0:57trying to hit the mall. Let them know me
15. 0:59in charge while I'm gone. Is there any
16. 1:00specific reason,
17. 1:01[ __ ] Cuz I said something. Now that
18. 1:03that's out the way, follow the lead and
19. 1:06everything should go smoothly from here
20. 1:07on out. Y'all in good hands. Yeah, if we
21. 1:10go this way, we should be good. [ __ ]
22. 1:12this [ __ ] look way smaller on the
23. 1:14outside.
24. 1:14Now, listen, man. Cut. I just want to
25. 1:16backtrack to what I said earlier about
26. 1:18not wanting to hate on you, cuz that's
27. 1:20not what this is. But when I walk into a
28. 1:22one-story building and that [ __ ] turned
29. 1:24into a three-story freaky deicky dungeon
30. 1:26on the inside, it makes me think that
31. 1:28maybe, JUST MAYBE, SOMEBODY ELSE SHOULD
32. 1:31HAVEING been in charge, cuz all that.
33. 1:34Come on, bro.
34. 1:34Some type of leader you are, cuz you
35. 1:36don't see me HAVING AING PANIC ATTACK
36. 1:38RIGHT NOW.
37. 1:42WAIT. HUH? OH, hell no.
38. 1:44Bro, don't start,
39. 1:44man. They in here sawing in half, cuz
40. 1:47just leave it alone, gang. Yeah, just
41. 1:49look at THE [ __ ] I'M SAYING LEAVE IT
42. 1:51ALONE, [ __ ] You deaf or something?
43. 1:53Hey, I don't know who you call yourself,
44. 1:54little boy with this grab and [ __ ] but
45. 1:56you picked the right one today, C.
46. 1:58Oh, now you pressing, huh? Wasn't you
47. 2:00just about to piss yourself when we
48. 2:01first walked IN THIS [ __ ]
49. 2:02WELL, MAKE A MOVE THEN, C.
50. 2:04[ __ ] I [ __ ] A [ __ ] KEEP PLAYING.
51. 2:05COME ON, MR. CRASH OUT OF WAR.
52. 2:07[ __ ] I'LL SCREAM ROSES ARE RED AND ADD
53. 2:09YOU TO THE POEM PACK.
54. 2:10NOW'S NOT THE TIME to be ARGUING AND
55. 2:11[ __ ] [ __ ]
56. 2:12COME ON. THIS AIN'T ABOUT YOU, C.
57. 2:14WAIT, GANG. Where'd she go?
58. 2:16WE GOT TO GO, BRO.
59. 2:18WHAT'S THE WORD?
60. 2:19ONLY HOMIE IS YOU TOO CLOSE
61. 2:23my head. [screaming]
62. 2:24Godamn. What's the word? Bro, is this
63. 2:28it? Am I about to die in this [ __ ]
64. 2:30MAN, YOU GOT TO GO. [ __ ] I hope Yugji
65. 2:33okay.
66. 2:38Damn. You getting packed up, little
67. 2:41left,
68. 2:42man. Make a move.
69. 2:49Did I tell you I hate frogs?
70. 2:51Want me to leave you to die?
71. 2:53Damn C strong AS
72. 2:56[ __ ] DON'T matter cuz what's the word?
73. 2:58LET ME FLEX ON YOU REAL QUICK.
74. 3:05All right, little [ __ ] You got us
75. 3:06looking soft as [ __ ]
76. 3:08So, let me slide past you real quick,
77. 3:10young [ __ ] You get to live to slide
78. 3:12another day.
79. 3:16See, I was just going to go about my
80. 3:17business and let your ass leave, but now
81. 3:20THAT
82. 3:24[screaming]
83. 3:26BRO, this ain't done yet.
84. 3:28Enough of the [ __ ] Let's finish
85. 3:30this
86. 3:32domain expansion.
87. 3:37Get that to work,
88. 3:41bro. Now I'm worried. Is this [ __ ] okay
89. 3:43or not? Backwatch.
90. 3:45Ain't no way you really thought it was a
91. 3:47chance that little [ __ ] was going to
92. 3:48survive. What you do with Yuji? He gone,
93. 3:51[ __ ] What? You had too much heart. So
94. 3:54now this [ __ ] got to go. [music]
95. 3:57And to top it off. Oh, you trifling ass
96. 4:00[ __ ] Oh, now throw your set up, young.
97. 4:04Throw them hands up. I want TO SEE YOU
98. 4:07CRASH OUT. OH [ __ ]
99. 4:10OH, YOU AIN'T HEAR ME. THROW THAT [ __ ]
100. 4:13UP. GOD DAMN.
101. 4:16NO, YOU AIN'T SAFE.
102. 4:18NOW, do I got to tell your ass to crash
103. 4:20out again? Cuz at this point, you just
104. 4:23disrespected your OG. Well, it then this
105. 4:26how we going to do this. Yeah, CRASH
106. 4:29OUT. SHOW ME SOMETHING. Roses are red.
107. 4:33Weapons against me won't prosper.
108. 4:39Welcome back, C. Man, C, don't go
109. 4:42crashing out over little old me. C, you
110. 4:44should never let these [ __ ] get you out
111. 4:46of body like that, C. Now, do me a favor
112. 4:48and pull one out for a [ __ ] [ __ ] For
113. 4:51real?
114. 4:57So, you telling me he gone? Gone?
115. 5:00Yeah, he gone, bro.
116. 5:01So, like T dead and gone?
117. 5:04I said he gone. Ain't no way I'm about
118. 5:07to be sitting here crying over a banging
119. 5:09ass like this. This some [ __ ]
120. 5:13Yeah, you not wrong, bro.
121. 5:15Damn, Cuz fix your face. Y'all looking
122. 5:18like somebody died or something.
123. 5:19Yes, [ __ ] Your just died.
124. 5:21Newport 100.
125. 5:22Why the was I supposed to know that?
126. 5:24Who these?
127. 5:26That's my cousin and our homeboys, Panda
128. 5:29and Inumaki. They're a great above us,
129. 5:32but the only one that acts like they got
130. 5:34some sense is Daddy Uda. But he on a
131. 5:36journey to find himself or some [ __ ] in
132. 5:38Africa right now.
133. 5:39Our bad gang. Rest in peace, Eugi.
134. 5:42Man, what y'all want?
135. 5:44We just wanted to invite you guys to the
136. 5:45sister school exchange event.
137. 5:47And what exactly are we exchanging?
138. 5:49Pure unadulterated hands.
139. 5:51If y'all think y'all about that life,
140. 5:52then join in. But just know this [ __ ]
141. 5:54ain't for the week. So y'all going to
142. 5:55keep crying or get in the field? Let's
143. 5:58do it.
144. 5:59You talking like these regular dularers?
145. 6:01What I'm supposed to do? Slide with no
146. 6:03plan. You think I'm crazy or something?
147. 6:05Nah, I think you [ __ ] If you really
148. 6:08want to slide on and shake up the
149. 6:10streets, you got to do two things.
150. 6:12Look, I do whatever. Just know I'm with
151. 6:14the smoke.
152. 6:15First, you got to go ban for band with
153. 6:17the rich Gojo. But with the way your
154. 6:19pockets are set up, I wouldn't recommend
155. 6:21it. And second, you got to get a real
156. 6:24nod from the trap guy soup. Then you
157. 6:26could really slide.
158. 6:28Hold up. I thought that little [ __ ]
159. 6:30[ __ ] was dead. So how the I'm supposed
160. 6:32to get a knob from Suka now.
161. 6:35[ __ ] You can believe he did if you
162. 6:36want.
163. 6:39I'mma say this one more time. C. Give me
164. 6:41my body back. [ __ ] you don't belong
165. 6:43here.
166. 6:43Last time I checked, I brought your
167. 6:44ungrateful ass back to life.
168. 6:46And you was STILL THE REASON I DIED
169. 6:48ANYWAY. SO GIVE ME MY BODY BACK OR I'MMA
170. 6:50TAKE IT BACK. HUH?
171. 6:53Here we go. NOW MAKE A MOVE. C.
172. 6:56You talk too goddamn much, little [ __ ]
173. 6:58You can't do no better than this weak
174. 7:00ass [ __ ] Little [ __ ] Come on, man.
175. 7:04What kind of weird [ __ ] this little?
176. 7:06Yeah, I got you, [ __ ]
177. 7:07Weave.
178. 7:08Oh [ __ ]
179. 7:09[ __ ] You'll never touch the trap. God,
180. 7:14[ __ ] you.
181. 7:15Now, what was you saying?
182. 7:19You really think I let that [ __ ] slide
183. 7:20in my domain?
184. 7:21Now, this is disrespectful, C. What the
185. 7:24is the domain?
186. 7:25It's the place where I run [ __ ] It's
187. 7:27like I brought you to my block but
188. 7:29inside my head.
189. 7:31Okay,
190. 7:31let's make a deal, little [ __ ] You
191. 7:33accept my conditions, then I promise
192. 7:35I'll bring us back to life.
193. 7:36[ __ ] I'm a thug. I ain't making no
194. 7:37pinky promise.
195. 7:39This ain't no pinky promise, [ __ ] It's
196. 7:41a binding vow. It's like putting some on
197. 7:43your mama or on your hood. If I break
198. 7:46this promise, I give up in the process.
199. 7:49So, I got two conditions. One, whenever
200. 7:52I say switch, you'll give me control for
201. 7:54a minute. And two, you'll never remember
202. 7:57that we even had this conversation.
203. 7:59You trying to use my body to blow the
204. 8:01whole hood up. I ain't falling for that,
205. 8:03C.
206. 8:03I shouldn't have to take this from a
207. 8:04dead, but how about this? In that
208. 8:06minute, I won't harm and kill nobody.
209. 8:08That sound good, [ __ ] [ __ ]
210. 8:11You know what, C? Maybe I should trust
211. 8:13you. Long as you promise not to hurt
212. 8:15nobody
213. 8:16for work.
214. 8:16I'll get up and shake on it, C. Let me
215. 8:18up.
216. 8:19All right, you bet. I'm glad you came to
217. 8:21your senses, little [ __ ] Now, let's
218. 8:23get down to business,
219. 8:24man. I tell you it's one thing about you
220. 8:25old cut.
221. 8:26What you talking about?
222. 8:27Y'all [ __ ] phone for anything.
223. 8:31I said THIS MY BODY, [ __ ] YOU AIN'T
224. 8:33DOING [ __ ]
225. 8:34All right, little [ __ ] We'll do it
226. 8:36like this then. You win this challenge
227. 8:39and I'll bring us back with no vow. Gun
228. 8:42to your head. Name me a booy song.
229. 8:44Oh, that's easy, Kh. Wipe me down.
230. 8:46That's a feature,
231. 8:48man. I hate this [ __ ] Eugi was supposed
232. 8:51to be one of them, bro. I would give
233. 8:53anything just to hear that talk that
234. 8:55little stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] one more time.
235. 8:57For real.
236. 8:59[ __ ] I'm back. But why the [ __ ] I'm
237. 9:01naked? This [ __ ] weird. But [ __ ] you
238. 9:04kind of bad mama. I ain't too mad at it.
239. 9:06Look at that. They really can't hold a
240. 9:08[ __ ] down, huh? Gojo kind. All right,
241. 9:12this [ __ ] just got weird again.
242. 9:14All right, then. What's the plan? I
243. 9:16recommend we catch black, leaving the
244. 9:19crib, at the library, or at a function
245. 9:21or something. That would be the best
246. 9:23time to sign
247. 9:23and then I go ban for band with Gojo.
248. 9:25No, I wouldn't go bad for bad with Gojo
249. 9:27if I was you. You better off getting him
250. 9:29locked up or something.
251. 9:30You, bro, I got baby.
252. 9:33You could try if you want, but you got
253. 9:34on Mexican Jay's. That footwork tells me
254. 9:36you do not got to back that [ __ ] up.
255. 9:38[ __ ] WHO THE YOU TALKING TO?
256. 9:40THEY REALLY THINK I'M ABOUT TO SERVE
257. 9:41SOMEBODY WHO'S TALKING TO THEMSELVES.
258. 9:42I'LL POP OUT RIGHT NOW. MOMS, THEY SAY
259. 9:44MY GOLDFISH GOT CO, so I GOT TO GO.
260. 9:46WAIT, WHAT? OH, I'M OUT OF HERE,
261. 9:48MAN. You and that go, man. I'll pull up
262. 9:51on that after we eat and [ __ ]
263. 9:53Speaking of, where the my food? How the
264. 9:56I'm supposed to slide on an empty
265. 9:58stomach?
266. 9:59Hey, bro. Relax.
267. 10:00EITHER I'MMA GET MY FOOD or I'mma LIGHT
268. 10:03THIS [ __ ] UP.
269. 10:04You really going to pull a strap cuz got
270. 10:07to WAIT ON FOOD?
271. 10:08HELL YEAH. NOW I want
272. 10:10Let me apologize for the inconvenience.
273. 10:12Your food will be out. You should have
274. 10:15went to waffle.
275. 10:16How the we going to get our food,
276. 10:18right? I hate my pull up on Go dojo.
277. 10:23Tell that your B for
278. 10:26Before we get you back in the field, I
279. 10:27got to make sure you ready to slide like
280. 10:29you never slid before. And I'm talking
281. 10:31about the type of training that makes
282. 10:32the realest of real shed tears and run
283. 10:35back to their mamas. Now, are you ready
284. 10:37for that? I'm with whatever, C. What I
285. 10:39got to do? You got to watch all the hood
286. 10:42classics movies, C. And you got to watch
287. 10:45them with this bear. I'm a little too
288. 10:46old for stuffed animals, C.
289. 10:49Yeah, that's one of Principal Yaga's
290. 10:50bears. You know how they get down. If
291. 10:52you can control your curse energy, that
292. 10:54little [ __ ] won't beat on you. Now you
293. 10:56do that while watching some hood
294. 10:58classics, you going to be a brand new
295. 10:59[ __ ] by the time we finish this. Now,
296. 11:01what you watching first? Turn on
297. 11:02something with action cuz
298. 11:04you said he killed Helen. Jennifer, I
299. 11:07need you to listen to me. Heal me. All
300. 11:09right, then I'll tell you everything
301. 11:10after.
302. 11:10He didn't tell you what he did, huh?
303. 11:12Helen didn't deserve that. AND HE
304. 11:14DESTROYED IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
305. 11:16THIS [ __ ] getting good, cuz
306. 11:24Mark.
307. 11:27Oh no, C. For real.
308. 11:34Bro, you lying cuz
309. 11:38Oh [ __ ]
310. 11:41This [ __ ] I'm just trying to watch
311. 11:43the movie cuz I would have turned on
312. 11:45Anime House, but this was already a
313. 11:47pretty shameless plug. Anyway, Yuji, I
314. 11:49got to slide out real quick. Okay, C.
315. 11:52And you better not turn that [ __ ] off.
316. 11:53It's a part of your training. All right,
317. 11:55C. Any chance you'll turn this off now?
318. 11:59It's been on repeat since we got in the
319. 12:00car. let you turn my Mario off and I'mma
320. 12:03flip this whole [ __ ] over. Never mind.
321. 12:05My bad. [music]
322. 12:09Hey, pull over. Pull off real quick and
323. 12:11spin around the block a few times.
324. 12:13I got you.
325. 12:16Here we go. Let's do it.
326. 12:20GO FOR
327. 12:23what you say. [music] SAY GO FOR BED.
328. 12:26WHAT THE POCKETS HITTING FOR [ __ ]
329. 12:32SEE, I knew [ __ ] didn't want no smoke,
330. 12:34[ __ ] I got paper. I wasn't that banned
331. 12:36for ban too easy.
332. 12:38You ain't winning [ __ ] [ __ ]
333. 12:39Now hold the up, [ __ ] I know I'm not
334. 12:42tripping. You should be dead right now.
335. 12:44Well, too bad cuz you missed.
336. 12:47Now I literally just watched you die. I
337. 12:49know I can't let you welfare warriors
338. 12:51touch a rich ass flexing ass [ __ ] like
339. 12:53myself. But what you just felt was
340. 12:55[music] infinity or more so the infinite
341. 12:57amount of bands I have compared to your
342. 12:59poor parched pockets.
343. 13:00Do you always dick load yourself like
344. 13:02this?
345. 13:03Don't worry, Broky. You'll be riding it
346. 13:05soon enough.
347. 13:06Hoes,
348. 13:06why don't you come here and see if you
349. 13:07can lay one of those frugal fingers
350. 13:09[music] on me? I'll let you feel the
351. 13:11difference between our wallets for
352. 13:12yourself.
353. 13:13[ __ ] I came here for smoke. You making
354. 13:14me feel real uncomfortable right now.
355. 13:16Well, in that case, let's give you a
356. 13:18taste of something you can't afford.
357. 13:20Wait, what?
358. 13:20Reverse paper text. Louis Vuitton red.
359. 13:27My bad. I had to go grab my young [ __ ]
360. 13:30real quick so I can make sure I really
361. 13:31flex on you.
362. 13:32Oh, so you need an audience to show out.
363. 13:34No, broke [ __ ] There's some [ __ ] he
364. 13:36got to learn and this the perfect place
365. 13:37to do it cuz Gojo don't cut with a flex
366. 13:39on you either way, [ __ ]
367. 13:41Man, all this yapping, it's still smoke.
368. 13:43Call that talking and pop your domain
369. 13:45in. Just watch this, Eugi.
370. 13:48Let's get domain expansion.
371. 13:54Satan smoke sanctuary.
372. 13:57Smoke ain't never over, [ __ ]
373. 13:59What you're seeing now is a domain
374. 14:01expansion. It's kind of like bringing
375. 14:03your block with you wherever you
376. 14:04fighting at cuz you definitely gain the
377. 14:06advantage. And if your ops in here, it's
378. 14:08guaranteed you going to hit them
379. 14:10[ __ ] Now, there's several ways
380. 14:12to deal with a domain. Here's my
381. 14:14favorite. Cuz when a [ __ ] feel like
382. 14:16he's safe on his block, you got to blow
383. 14:18the [ __ ] spot up. Domain
384. 14:21expansion. Limitless B.
385. 14:29How does one n have this much paper?
386. 14:32You should be getting pocket checked,
387. 14:35but it looks like you already figured
388. 14:37out the truth. That to me, you're all
389. 14:39broke. So that ban for ban [ __ ] and get
390. 14:44your paper.