HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR Reveals How Find MEANING & Purpose In Your Life | Dr. Edith Eger — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:02foreign
2. 0:03is clinical depression a thing or is
3. 0:06there a way to get out of it without
4. 0:07medication yeah well we pathologize
5. 0:11we've intelligence too much
6. 0:15I think it's
7. 0:17it's very good to
8. 0:21make the diagnosis
9. 0:24that doesn't have to pathologize like
10. 0:28I'm sad I'm scared you know to use the
11. 0:32language that it doesn't have to go to
12. 0:36diagnosis and medical medicine is
13. 0:39important
14. 0:41yeah no we have our blood
15. 0:46and that needs to be
16. 0:50hopefully valid tended to yeah we have
17. 0:54our environment but the way you respond
18. 0:58to the other two
19. 1:00I have a choice
20. 1:02to respond or react
21. 1:06when you react you don't think
22. 1:09how does someone learn how to pause when
23. 1:12there's an event when there's a deeper
24. 1:14trigger
25. 1:15take a deep breath and if that doesn't
26. 1:18work take another deep breath you keep
27. 1:20breathing until you react because you
28. 1:23cannot change what's outside of you
29. 1:28the environment the event what occurs
30. 1:31you really have very powerless
31. 1:33[Music]
32. 1:35but you have power the way you choose
33. 1:38to take the negative and turn it into
34. 1:41positive
35. 1:43because suffering makes you stronger
36. 1:45suffering
37. 1:48is part of life
38. 1:51is there a way to minimize suffering in
39. 1:55our lives
40. 1:56you learn from history so you won't
41. 2:00repeat it
42. 2:01yes
43. 2:03that's why it's good to write the book
44. 2:06the book
45. 2:08people told me for years write a book
46. 2:10write a book and I would say I have
47. 2:13nothing to say I have nothing to say
48. 2:16but then Philip zimbardo one morning
49. 2:19calls from
50. 2:20and says you know Edie
51. 2:23the people who survived
52. 2:27and are famous
53. 2:29our old man
54. 2:32we need their female voice
55. 2:37and that's my book the choice right a
56. 2:41female voice of Victor Frank wow it's
57. 2:44beautiful you mentioned I want to ask
58. 2:46you about the fear the fears again
59. 2:48writing down a list of your fears and
60. 2:50then knocking them down
61. 2:52what happens
62. 2:54internally when we start to knock these
63. 2:57fears down and we over you replace it
64. 2:59with something else
65. 3:02see when when you're in a car
66. 3:05and you have to switch gears
67. 3:08you know it talks to you the car
68. 3:12so what you need to do is switch gears
69. 3:16and release the clutch
70. 3:19what are you holding on to
71. 3:22my definition of Love Is
72. 3:25the ability to let go
73. 3:32don't live in their past
74. 3:35you cannot change the past
75. 3:39it's one thing you cannot change
76. 3:41is the past
77. 3:43I don't live in the past
78. 3:46I don't forget it or overcome it
79. 3:52that's why I call it my cherished wound
80. 3:55because part of me was left in Auschwitz
81. 3:58but not the better part not the bigger
82. 4:01part
83. 4:01how do you reclaim that part from that
84. 4:04you go back to that place and you can do
85. 4:07it in your office with a guest Out Chair
86. 4:11put them in that chair tie them up and
87. 4:15beat them up sure yeah
88. 4:20wow how could you do this to me I was
89. 4:23only eight years old you know and you
90. 4:26get it out
91. 4:28scream it out and beat them up
92. 4:31if we don't get that emotion out then
93. 4:33we're the ones that suffer right yeah
94. 4:35because forgiveness has nothing to do
95. 4:38with me forgiving you for what you did
96. 4:41to me I don't have any godly power at
97. 4:44all
98. 4:45but I do have a power
99. 4:47to look at everything that happened
100. 4:50into an opportunity
101. 4:53for an opportunity
102. 4:56and that was Auschwitz
103. 4:58the biggest classroom the most important
104. 5:02one I have gone to wow
105. 5:05so do we need to forgive the person that
106. 5:09created the pain do we need to forgive
107. 5:12ourselves what is harder yeah I think we
108. 5:15could eat it
109. 5:16uh
110. 5:20at time when I give yous myself
111. 5:23permission is a very good word
112. 5:28give myself permission
113. 5:32to let go
114. 5:34of the pain
115. 5:38and replace it with self-love
116. 5:41which is self-care
117. 5:43which is not narcissistic
118. 5:47love yourself is not narcissist yeah so
119. 5:51give yourself give myself permission to
120. 5:53let go of the pain from the past
121. 5:54permission is a key word
122. 5:58and then replace it with self-love you
123. 6:01know if I could meet Dr mangala now I
124. 6:04really wanted to meet him and I found
125. 6:08out where he was but I never really
126. 6:11ended up meeting him in person he went
127. 6:15to South America most of the Nazis went
128. 6:18through the
129. 6:21the
130. 6:23Roman Catholics
131. 6:26somehow helped them to go through
132. 6:30them to go to sat America yeah
133. 6:34what would you have said to him
134. 6:37if you could have met him what would you
135. 6:38have said to him
136. 6:40I would probably tell him
137. 6:43I have no idea what I would have done if
138. 6:46I would have been in your shoes
139. 6:48you must have felt very powerful
140. 6:52sending my mother to the gas chamber
141. 6:56because he asked me
142. 6:59is this your sister or is this your
143. 7:01mother
144. 7:02I still want to cry but now
145. 7:06that stupidly I said it's my mother
146. 7:09because I could not forgive myself
147. 7:13that if I would have said my sister
148. 7:16she wouldn't have gone to the gas
149. 7:18company
150. 7:21but then I had to
151. 7:26recognize that
152. 7:29it did
153. 7:31what I could you know you did the best
154. 7:34and I did the best I could yeah so
155. 7:37forgiving yourself
156. 7:39and not to judge yourself
157. 7:41you've got to
158. 7:43you got to really truly do the work yeah
159. 7:48that's powerful
160. 7:50I'm curious suffering
161. 7:52is uh
162. 7:54make you stronger how much don't ask for
163. 7:58it I don't want suffering
164. 8:01you don't want you don't need to answer
165. 8:03no no no but it makes it happens
166. 8:07and recognize that it's temporary yes
167. 8:10yes and you can survive it so you become
168. 8:13your own good parent yes are you a good
169. 8:17parent to you uh-huh now I am yeah after
170. 8:20a lot of the healing work yeah now I'm a
171. 8:23very good parent to myself yeah I feel a
172. 8:25lot of Peace inside but I didn't feel
173. 8:27that for years yeah
174. 8:29you say what you live
175. 8:32yeah
176. 8:34that's good yeah it's a constant Journey
177. 8:37you know congratulations thank you thank
178. 8:40you but a lot of your you know the first
179. 8:42time I interviewed you I was really
180. 8:44inspired by how you
181. 8:46shared so much wisdom about how to not
182. 8:48take things personally and how to
183. 8:50reinterpret when someone sang something
184. 8:52to you just saying no well I actually
185. 8:54you're saying the opposite to yourself
186. 8:55of like how you love yourself and how
187. 8:57you're generous and kind so I really
188. 8:59appreciate that you know just a very
189. 9:02simple question whatever you're doing
190. 9:05now you ask how is it working for you
191. 9:08yeah is it empowering you or depleting
192. 9:11you so you said
193. 9:13anger is something that not the Primary
194. 9:17Emotion it's not the primary so when
195. 9:19someone feels anger what is it they
196. 9:21really feel
197. 9:23afraid of what
198. 9:26um
199. 9:27fear of being found out