Holocaust Memorial Day Trust: The story of Carl and Teresa Wilkens — Transcript

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1. 0:00Hi, my name is Carl
2. 0:01Wilkins
3. 0:03and well that might
4. 0:23work. We moved to Rwanda in 1990. It was
5. 0:27actually the second time we had lived in
6. 0:29Africa and um we were pretty excited.
7. 0:32We're coming to this peaceful little
8. 0:34beautiful country in the center of
9. 0:35Africa. We're going to build schools and
10. 0:37operate clinics. It was it was really
11. 0:39rewarding exciting work there as we
12. 0:42landed on the ground. Peaceful little
13. 0:43place. I can't say that enough. You
14. 0:44know, people called it this little Eden
15. 0:46in the middle of Africa. Our life um was
16. 0:50very comfortable. We lived in the
17. 0:52capital city of Kgali and um I stayed at
18. 0:55home with our children and our kids uh
19. 0:58their ages were at that time six four
20. 1:03almost two and uh Carl began work with
21. 1:07uh ADRA the organization that had asked
22. 1:09us to come there Adventist Development
23. 1:11Relief Agency and our lives were very
24. 1:15similar to what we might have had if we
25. 1:17lived back in the states. Um, we learned
26. 1:20our way around town to get to the
27. 1:21grocery store, to get to to church, to
28. 1:25get um, you know, we just had a very a
29. 1:28very um, peaceful life. When when we got
30. 1:32to Rwanda, there's always people who are
31. 1:33eager to tell you about the country and
32. 1:35they told us about tootsies who had fled
33. 1:37and there was rumors of them coming back
34. 1:39like a military and we're like, okay,
35. 1:41you know, every story, every country has
36. 1:43its story and things. Um, but we didn't
37. 1:46think much about it and and as we
38. 1:48worked, we knew some people were hoo and
39. 1:50tootsie, but I mean they were speaking
40. 1:51the same language. They worked together.
41. 1:52They married each other all the time.
42. 1:54So, we really didn't think it was a a
43. 1:58major deal. Well, we were only in the
44. 2:01country for about 6 months before the
45. 2:02war started. And we wondered, wow,
46. 2:05what's this going to mean? You know, and
47. 2:07people even started talking about
48. 2:08evacuating in 1990.
49. 2:11But we soon adjusted to kind of war
50. 2:14life. Although soon a couple a landmine
51. 2:18showed up in Kegali on one of the dirt
52. 2:20roads. And so you'd had to work in the
53. 2:22morning and you're like, "Wow, am I the
54. 2:24first one on the road this morning? Did
55. 2:26somebody put a landmine last night?" So
56. 2:28there was this little bit well landmines
57. 2:30maybe more than a little bit in the back
58. 2:32of your mind about what's going on but
59. 2:35still you adjust and you know so we had
60. 2:38three years of war and and even um
61. 2:41towards the end of the war when the
62. 2:43international community put pressure on
63. 2:45Rwanda to have
64. 2:46multi-partyism. Um there started to be
65. 2:48more random acts of violence in Kaggali.
66. 2:51We'd hear an explosion. I'm sitting in
67. 2:52the living room. Uh, I've got my
68. 2:54daughter on my lap reading a story
69. 2:56before going to bed and and an explosion
70. 2:58somewhere in the distance is there. She
71. 3:00doesn't jump. I don't jump. She just
72. 3:01kind of goes, "When is this going to
73. 3:04end?" So, it's kind of kind of crazy
74. 3:06when you look back how much we adjusted
75. 3:08to those tensions and things that were
76. 3:11mounting. So, right before um before the
77. 3:15actual shooting down of the plane,
78. 3:17things were very tense. Um that we had
79. 3:21taken the weekend previous weekend was
80. 3:23Easter weekend. We had gone uh to the
81. 3:25the lake Kibu. Um had a nice quiet
82. 3:29weekend. Carl's parents were visiting
83. 3:30with us. We wouldn't have dreamed of of
84. 3:33the of what was going to happen within
85. 3:35the next few days. So in a way it was
86. 3:37like a shock in another way. Um things
87. 3:40had been building up. We the tensions
88. 3:42had been there. So, it was a mixture of
89. 3:44shock and and not total surprise.
90. 3:49Immediately, there was gunfire right in
91. 3:51our neighborhood. Not across the valley,
92. 3:53not somewhere behind another hill of the
93. 3:54city, right there in our neighborhood.
94. 3:56And then you're hearing screams and
95. 3:58pounding. And it's like this is this is
96. 4:01um this is something we've never
97. 4:02experienced
98. 4:05before. Friday, the embassy is saying,
99. 4:07"No, we're leaving. We're all leaving,
100. 4:09and you can't bring any Rwans with you.
101. 4:11We're going to meet at the assembly
102. 4:12points, the ambassador's home, the the
103. 4:15international school, but don't bring
104. 4:17any Rwans. Doesn't matter if they're Hoo
105. 4:18or Tootsie. We get to the roadblocks,
106. 4:20there'll be problems. And so that's
107. 4:22really when Teresa and I are, you know,
108. 4:26uh thinking, wo, um I we had thought
109. 4:29about me somehow trying to help people,
110. 4:32you know, during a time of crisis and
111. 4:34problem, but now it was right there in
112. 4:36our house. There's two people in our
113. 4:38home that have Tootsie ID cards. It's a
114. 4:40young lady who lives and works there and
115. 4:42a young man caught there in the evening
116. 4:43as the watchman in the plane shot down
117. 4:45at night. He's caught there in the
118. 4:47house. And so when the embassy says you
119. 4:49can't bring anybody with you, um, any
120. 4:51Rwans with you, uh, we're like, well,
121. 4:55well, we can't just leave these people
122. 4:56here to be killed in our house.
123. 5:11It was finally 3 weeks before the
124. 5:13government gave permission for anybody
125. 5:16to come out and get a travel permit if
126. 5:18they had a good reason for one. So I
127. 5:21left the house, had to go through
128. 5:22several roadblocks, but we finally made
129. 5:24it and I met this guy, Colonel Renzah,
130. 5:26who was in charge of the city and um
131. 5:29seemed like a really nice guy. He was
132. 5:31actually wondering where are you staying
133. 5:32at night? He actually seemed concerned
134. 5:34for my safety. And I explained, you
135. 5:37know, I explained I was the director of
136. 5:38ADRA. I want to somehow help the people
137. 5:40who are suffering. And of course, we're
138. 5:42not going to have a conversation about
139. 5:43Hoou and Tootsie or anything, but how
140. 5:45can we help the people who are
141. 5:47suffering? And he's like, "Yeah, um, you
142. 5:49bet. There's there's um" and he told me
143. 5:52about a Frenchman who had stayed. You
144. 5:54could help there. And then we have an
145. 5:55orphanage out in the Yummy Rambo, this
146. 5:58one. And and so, um, he prepares, has
147. 6:01his secretary prepare a travel permit,
148. 6:03signs it, and stamps it. And I'm like,
149. 6:05"Okay, thank you." You know, and that
150. 6:08paper I I I really wish I still had it
151. 6:10because that paper was really a ticket
152. 6:13to um to get around through the
153. 6:15roadblocks. You show up at a roadblock,
154. 6:16you show them this paper. There's the
155. 6:18guy's signature and his stamp on there.
156. 6:20And they still would usually hassle me
157. 6:21one way or another, but in the end, I
158. 6:23knew I was going to get through because
159. 6:25of that paper. I I could even get to
160. 6:27places where the UN couldn't go because
161. 6:29the UN didn't have that kind of a travel
162. 6:31permit. And um it it was interesting how
163. 6:35these relationships
164. 6:37um really did start to make it possible
165. 6:41to do something in what appeared to be a
166. 6:43very hopeless time. One of the
167. 6:46orphanages, actually the biggest
168. 6:47orphanage that the colonel sent me to
169. 6:50was operated by a Rwanda man named Damas
170. 6:53Cassimba. And uh I had actually never
171. 6:55met him before the genocide. As I came
172. 6:58in the parking lot, I saw graves in the
173. 7:00parking lot. I meet Damas. I shake his
174. 7:02hands. I'm just wondering what's going
175. 7:03on here, you know. And and Damas tells
176. 7:06me, I thought they'd been children maybe
177. 7:08slaughtered. And he's like, no, these
178. 7:09children have died from diarrhea. We are
179. 7:12we are without water here. We are in big
180. 7:14trouble. And and I started to find out,
181. 7:17well, how many do you have? And you
182. 7:18know, well, normally we have 80, but
183. 7:19it's growing every day. More kids are
184. 7:21more come. By the time the genocide's
185. 7:23over, he'll have more than 400.
186. 7:31Damas had people working with him like
187. 7:34Trien. There was this on the job trained
188. 7:36nurse who was incredible. I would I
189. 7:38would bring her medicine and she would
190. 7:39almost drop to her knees and use words
191. 7:41like angel or something, you know, and
192. 7:43I'm like, "No, you're the angel. I don't
193. 7:45know how you're doing this, you know,
194. 7:47taking care of these children who have
195. 7:49some of them seen their parents killed.
196. 7:51I don't know when you sleep at night and
197. 7:53and then they're sick on top of that and
198. 7:55you don't have water to get or food and
199. 7:56they're hungry and simple things. This
200. 7:58lady then I find out that she's also
201. 8:01being I don't know forced but but but
202. 8:04the killers would bring their wounded
203. 8:06people to her people who get wounded in
204. 8:09the process of making these kids orphans
205. 8:11and she's somehow disinfecting and
206. 8:13treating them. And um I I you know as I
207. 8:17look back on on her I mean you know I
208. 8:20look back on Damas and I'm like I don't
209. 8:21know how Damas did it. And then you look
210. 8:23at the people who were part of his team
211. 8:25and you look like that seems I don't
212. 8:27know how they did it. you know, how did
213. 8:28this lady, how could she stand to touch
214. 8:31the people who were killing and and
215. 8:32stuff? And yet, you almost come to to
216. 8:36believe that the answer to how they did
217. 8:38it was that they were together, you
218. 8:41know, and and they were drawing off of
219. 8:43each other, the the strength to to be
220. 8:46able to to continue each day, never
221. 8:49knowing when it's going to end and and
222. 8:51how bad it's going to be. You know, I
223. 8:53was there not long ago and I met with
224. 8:55about 40 people who had been hiding
225. 8:57there. you know, one guy was two years
226. 8:59old and now he's about to graduate from
227. 9:00university with an IT degree, quiet, you
228. 9:03know, soft-spoken, nice kid, and and and
229. 9:06another lady, young mom at the time. And
230. 9:09now I said, "So, what do you do?" And
231. 9:10she says, "I'm a I'm a wedding planner."
232. 9:12And I'm like, "Well, that's cool. What
233. 9:14how tell me about it." And she says,
234. 9:16"Well," and she reaches in her little
235. 9:17cloth bag and pulls out an iPad. Let me
236. 9:19show you some of my weddings. And she
237. 9:21kind of starts flicking through the
238. 9:22pictures. And um and yet at the same
239. 9:25time we took um we took a lady gave a
240. 9:28lady a lift afterwards and um yeah she's
241. 9:31still struggling you know as a single
242. 9:33mom with her kids. So it's it's not like
243. 9:35it's all happily ever after by any
244. 9:38means. You know I was able to talk to
245. 9:41Carl every single day of the genocide
246. 9:43except I think we decided there was one
247. 9:45day as I'm thinking back in my memory
248. 9:47that we did not talk on the radio. But
249. 9:50to be able to talk every single day was
250. 9:52huge. I didn't hear a lot of the actual
251. 9:59um different events that were going on.
252. 10:01Um I didn't hear, you know, talk of we
253. 10:04didn't talk about the people that were
254. 10:05dying. We didn't talk about um you know,
255. 10:08the different places that were being
256. 10:10attacked. We talked more about what he
257. 10:12was doing, you know, taking water to the
258. 10:14orphans and helping people in our
259. 10:16neighborhood who were injured. He
260. 10:18eventually got supplies from the Red
261. 10:20Cross hospital and was making house
262. 10:22calls around our neighborhood to to help
263. 10:25the injured. Being able to to talk with
264. 10:27each other to know he was still alive
265. 10:30each day and he has often told me that
266. 10:33having someone outside that um he well
267. 10:36knowing that we were okay too was I
268. 10:38think a relief to him. Once the candle's
269. 10:40out and you're laying there in the dark,
270. 10:42you're thinking about your family, you
271. 10:44know, and um it's going to happen one
272. 10:47day. We're going to be able to be
273. 10:49together again. You just hang on to
274. 10:51that. And I did. I believed it. I I
275. 10:54believed I would. But then when it
276. 10:57happened, you know, when the war was
277. 10:58over, the genocide is stopped and the
278. 11:00RPF stops the genocide and and um it's
279. 11:04quiet at night and finally I got to get
280. 11:06in uh and I'm looking all around in this
281. 11:09Canadian transport plane. Everybody's so
282. 11:11disciplined and they each have their
283. 11:12task and duties and it's kind like like
284. 11:14whoa, it's kind of strange to be in such
285. 11:15a disciplined structured environment
286. 11:17after being in such a chaotic
287. 11:20destructive environment. I was really
288. 11:23shocked. They let down the steps in the
289. 11:24cargo plane and you come out and the
290. 11:26warm air there on the tarmac and all of
291. 11:29a sudden there they are, you know, just
292. 11:31hundred yards away or something and just
293. 11:34went running and and of course, you
294. 11:36know, the kids are running and and um it
295. 11:39it as you look back on it, it seems
296. 11:42somehow surreal and yet um to wrap your
297. 11:45arms around them to feel that that you
298. 11:49know it's real. It's real. and and
299. 11:53um kids were full of questions and
300. 11:56stuff, but you know, and I and I look at
301. 11:58Teresa and and I'm like, you know, well,
302. 12:01you know, initially, how did you do it?
303. 12:03How did you get here on the tarmac? But
304. 12:04the bigger question is, how did you do
305. 12:06the whole thing? You know, how did you
306. 12:08hold things together and um help the
307. 12:11kids know it's going to be all right,
308. 12:13you know, and and and that behind the
309. 12:16scenes role is so often missed. It's
310. 12:18it's neglected, you know. We we look at
311. 12:20the people who are right up front when
312. 12:22we talk about upstanders or or you know
313. 12:25resisting against these horrible things
314. 12:27but there's like a multitude of people
315. 12:29behind them who who are making it
316. 12:31possible for them to do it and for each
317. 12:33of us to understand our role and to
318. 12:35appreciate those roles. You know, I
319. 12:37often think ah I didn't appreciate
320. 12:39enough and it's like I can't say it
321. 12:40enough now. You know how much I
322. 12:43appreciate what she
323. 12:54did about the idea of not standing by. I
324. 12:59think um the the main thing that might
325. 13:02stop a person from doing anything at
326. 13:05least as I look at my own my own within
327. 13:08myself um is fear and um I think that if
328. 13:14we can learn to move past our fear and
329. 13:19one thing we've discovered through our
330. 13:20experience is that if you have a mission
331. 13:23if you have something a job to do that
332. 13:25can really help be a um antidote
333. 13:29or for fear. It can help you forget the
334. 13:32fear or at least put it aside and to
335. 13:35just keep on that mission. When I think
336. 13:37about don't stand by, the first thing I
337. 13:39shouldn't the first thing I should not
338. 13:41think is about somebody else doing
339. 13:43something. The first thing I should
340. 13:44think is about my reaction and then
341. 13:48maybe I make a choice that I think is a
342. 13:50good choice. That doesn't mean that the
343. 13:51other person was supposed to make that
344. 13:53choice. Every one of us is is uniquely
345. 13:56made and we come with different stories
346. 13:58and different experiences. And so I
347. 14:00think the best way to encourage not
348. 14:03standing by is modeling it ourselves.