Historical Misconceptions For You to Bring Up during Family Dinner — Transcript

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1. 0:00this episode of Salmonella Academy is
2. 0:02brought to you by Skillshare hey kid
3. 0:13yeah you I just got off the phone with
4. 0:16the big man upstairs and he told me that
5. 0:19I need to clear a few things up around
6. 0:21here so without further ado here's ten
7. 0:23pieces of malarkey that you might still
8. 0:25be spreading number one nobody was ever
9. 0:28burned to death at the Salem witch
10. 0:29trials of the accused fifteen died in
11. 0:32prison 19 were hanged and one was
12. 0:34squished to death that last one is way
13. 0:36more interesting than any cremation by
14. 0:38the way dude was a badass
15. 0:39his name was Giles Corey he was 81 years
16. 0:42old and so done with the town of Salem's
17. 0:44garbage that he wouldn't even dignify
18. 0:46the trial with the plea
19. 0:47so the town's stuck in between two
20. 0:49boards and stacked rocks on top of him
21. 0:51in an effort to draw out a confession
22. 0:53but every time they tried to get
23. 0:54something out of him all it would say
24. 0:56was more weight this went on for three
25. 0:59solid days until he finally died never
26. 1:01giving any indication as to whether or
27. 1:03not he was a witch one can only wonder
28. 1:05number two the og Buddha wasn't the
29. 1:07obese guy that's boo die a Chinese folk
30. 1:10character meant to represent matreya aka
31. 1:13future Buddha now this shirt is double
32. 1:15sad
33. 1:16number three Buddha wasn't a god either
34. 1:18he was just a guy named Gautama now the
35. 1:21shirt is triple sad number four ever
36. 1:24heard of a vomitorium turns out no it's
37. 1:26not a place where Roman Nobles would go
38. 1:28to make room for more pheasant spleen
39. 1:30and lobster eyelids it's just a big
40. 1:32entranceway to the calcium's that hoards
41. 1:34of peasants would spew out of number
42. 1:36five Washington never cut down a cherry
43. 1:38tree in his youth I don't get this one
44. 1:40at all apparently it's supposed to paint
45. 1:42the man in a good light somehow it's
46. 1:44like Tyler what the hell happened while
47. 1:46we were gone where's the tree in the
48. 1:47front yard oh yeah that was me
49. 1:49got bored just felt like vandalizing
50. 1:51something you know hey what about my
51. 1:54honest character number six the pyramids
52. 1:57weren't actually built by slaves these
53. 1:58workers were respected members of
54. 2:00society they ate meat and worked in
55. 2:023-month shifts and even got to be buried
56. 2:05right next to the tomb after their death
57. 2:06matter of fact that's more than we can
58. 2:08say for the people working on man's
59. 2:10greatest achievements today if I spend
60. 2:12years of my life
61. 2:13helping to build the space station
62. 2:14you're damn right I don't want the
63. 2:16Salmonella memorial corpse receptacle
64. 2:18floating along right next to it that
65. 2:20would be amazing
66. 2:20number seven the Great Wall of China is
67. 2:22not the only man-made object visible
68. 2:24from space I don't know where you
69. 2:26got this one from first of all
70. 2:28there's no way you could see it with the
71. 2:30unaided eye the wall is like 30 meters
72. 2:32thick at most while the distance to
73. 2:34outer space is generally recognized to
74. 2:36be 100 kilometers up known as the Karman
75. 2:39line to give some perspective that's
76. 2:41like me holding up a standard size
77. 2:42guitar pick from across the entire
78. 2:44length of a football field and asking
79. 2:46you what color it is also there are
80. 2:48plenty of manmade objects that are way
81. 2:50bigger in terms of local surface area
82. 2:52than the Great Wall so even if it was
83. 2:54visible there's no way it would be the
84. 2:55only one number eight you might have
85. 2:57heard this one before you know Hitler
86. 2:59was a jerk you know but hey he made the
87. 3:01Autobahn so at least he was efficient
88. 3:03actually Hitler didn't create the
89. 3:05Autobahn it was already there he just
90. 3:07helped expand it into newer territory in
91. 3:09a similar vein Mussolini didn't make the
92. 3:12trains run on time with most of Italy's
93. 3:14infrastructure repairs happening before
94. 3:16his rise to power in 1922 and even then
95. 3:19they weren't nearly as punctual as he'd
96. 3:20like you to believe so unfortunately
97. 3:22you're gonna have to find something else
98. 3:24to like about these fascists like
99. 3:25Hitler's elegant way of speaking or the
100. 3:30way Mussolini says spaghetti
101. 3:34number nine iron maidens weren't actual
102. 3:37torture devices used in medieval times
103. 3:39basically what happened is some
104. 3:41archeologists in the 1800's saw an old
105. 3:44metal coffin and some spikes and said yo
106. 3:46wouldn't it be wildin if we put these
107. 3:49things up in here so that way if someone
108. 3:51goes in it they get poked in their bits
109. 3:54you are a sick man Cornelius I like it
110. 3:57into the museum it goes at least Iron
111. 3:59Maiden was real
112. 4:00they were as real as it gets still are
113. 4:03don't you forget it number 10 Einstein
114. 4:06never failed math he had mastered both
115. 4:08integral and differential calculus by
116. 4:10the age of 15 99% chance this one was
117. 4:13just made up to make glue eaters feel
118. 4:15better about themselves
119. 4:16well congratulations Dmitri looks like
120. 4:19you failed pre-algebra for the third
121. 4:20time Brady still can't graduate well a
122. 4:23that means I'm still on par with famous
123. 4:25smart science man so
124. 4:26yeah worship me so it just goes to share
125. 4:31that we've all got a lot to learn about
126. 4:32the world around us that's why you need
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138. 4:57mean check this out but I'm sure you
139. 5:00could get a lot of use out of them you
140. 5:02can also learn plenty of more
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142. 5:05Rubik's Cube or how to play chess really
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153. 5:34until next time i'm salmonella and thank
154. 5:36you for watching
155. 5:38[Music]