Gutfeld: THIS is what's racist about the woke… — Transcript

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1. 0:00All
2. 0:01>> [screaming]
3. 0:03>> right.
4. 0:06[screaming]
5. 0:07[cheering]
6. 0:12[cheering]
7. 0:14We'll continue that later at my place.
8. 0:17[laughter]
9. 0:18>> Yeah. Good evening everyone. So
10. 0:20yesterday, Bill Clinton turned 80 years
11. 0:23old.
12. 0:25He celebrated it surrounded by all the
13. 0:27people he loves and Hillary
14. 0:32thought this was nice to celebrate. He
15. 0:34unwrapped an intern.
16. 0:37And when it came time to blow out the
17. 0:39candles, he made a wish. But to a
18. 0:40chagrin, Hillary was still breathing.
19. 0:43[laughter]
20. 0:46As his sexual misconduct probe heats up,
21. 0:49FBI agents served Eric Swallwell with a
22. 0:53search warrant and seized his cell
23. 0:55phone. Eric, of course, responded to the
24. 0:57confrontation just as you'd expect, with
25. 1:01an erection.
26. 1:06Former comedian Kathy Griffin says she
27. 1:08was hurt that Rosie O'Donnell didn't
28. 1:10invite her on when she was guest hosting
29. 1:12Jimmy Kimmel Live. It seems network
30. 1:15execs feared if they had them on
31. 1:16together, people would think they were
32. 1:18watching a rerun of Alien versus
33. 1:20Predator.
34. 1:24It's true.
35. 1:26It's true.
36. 1:28A California political candidate is
37. 1:30accused of election fraud for listing a
38. 1:32dive bar as her home address.
39. 1:35[laughter]
40. 1:36In her defense, that's where she spends
41. 1:3823 hours a day.
42. 1:41>> [applause]
43. 1:44>> ABC said the FCC forced The View to book
44. 1:49far fewer political candidates as
45. 1:51guests.
46. 1:53Meanwhile, the EPA begged them to cut
47. 1:55back on methane emissions. [laughter]
48. 2:00[applause]
49. 2:02According to a new study, there is an
50. 2:04increase in deadly car crashes every
51. 2:06time Taylor Swift drops a new album.
52. 2:09It's true. Evidently, people take their
53. 2:12hands off the wheel to cover their ears.
54. 2:17Science.
55. 2:18Finally, a woman, a Florida woman
56. 2:21accused of scamming senior citizens out
57. 2:23of money was arrested and discovered
58. 2:26hiding $3,200
59. 2:28in her vagina.
60. 2:33In her defense, that's the last place
61. 2:35anyone would ever look.
62. 2:39>> [applause]
63. 2:43>> It was all small bills, too. [laughter]
64. 2:47All right.
65. 2:49So, last weekend, thousands flocked to
66. 2:51London's Trafalgar Square to mourn the
67. 2:54death of a professor. Jason Arde was
68. 2:57hailed as the youngest black professor
69. 2:58in Cambridge history. Highly respected
70. 3:01scholar with impressive credentials.
71. 3:03Until we found out his resume had more
72. 3:06padding than Dylan Vulmani's bra.
73. 3:10He plagiarized tons of academic work,
74. 3:13fudged his resume like crazy. Even
75. 3:16crazier, he claimed he ran 30 marathons
76. 3:18in 35 days, some with a broken leg. He
77. 3:22raised a non-existent 5 million for
78. 3:24charity, lied about having two brain
79. 3:26tumors, spending months in a coma, and
80. 3:29claimed he couldn't read or write until
81. 3:31he was 18. He even claimed he survived
82. 3:34testicular cancer despite having the
83. 3:36balls to present these fantasies as
84. 3:39truth.
85. 3:42Basically, his whole life was as
86. 3:45believable as Liz Warren beating General
87. 3:47Kuster at Little Bigghorn.
88. 3:51Now,
89. 3:53[applause]
90. 3:55when the truth came out, he resigned,
91. 3:57but not after sicking his lawyers and
92. 3:59police on reporters who covered his
93. 4:01deceptions. Then he killed himself. And
94. 4:04that crowd blames obviously racism,
95. 4:09which reminds me of another martyed soul
96. 4:12who had gatherings in his honor, George
97. 4:15Floyd. Cause of death, racism. It
98. 4:19certainly wasn't the lethal amount of
99. 4:20fentinol in his system or the
100. 4:22norfentinol or the meth or the heart
101. 4:25failure caused by the fentinyl meth or
102. 4:27the drugs swallowed during the initial
103. 4:29encounter. And even though the medical
104. 4:31examiner said the fentinol was a fatal
105. 4:33level, that still wasn't the killer. No,
106. 4:36it was the soft tissue injuries and
107. 4:38concussions associated with pressure of
108. 4:40a white racist cop. You see the
109. 4:43similarities? You're not supposed to
110. 4:45look at Floyd's circumstances and
111. 4:47behavior that led him to his death any
112. 4:50more than you would with the professor.
113. 4:53How dare you notice the lies or the
114. 4:55enablers who fed him? Because it's your
115. 4:58fault, not his, for noticing, you know,
116. 5:01he was just doing the job that he was
117. 5:02hired for, the magical minority that
118. 5:04made white libs feel virtuous and
119. 5:07pointing out his behavior. That would be
120. 5:09racist. Even though it's the opposite of
121. 5:12racist to judge someone by their
122. 5:14behavior. If you behave like a jackass,
123. 5:17there's no one to blame but yourself.
124. 5:20Don't I know that?
125. 5:23But [applause]
126. 5:27but what is racist is what the woke
127. 5:30think of black people. You need no
128. 5:33experience or skills because you're not
129. 5:35just special, you're special ed. They're
130. 5:38convinced blacks need their divine
131. 5:40intervention. They have less faith in
132. 5:42blacks skills than the KKK. And blacks
133. 5:45being a permanent victim makes whites
134. 5:47permanent heroes. But imagine at the
135. 5:49hospital, someone with no medical
136. 5:51expertise claims he's a chief of
137. 5:53surgery. And we just have to believe him
138. 5:55because he said so. Complain that
139. 5:58so-called doctor tried to remove your
140. 6:00spleen with a pizza cutter. Nice try,
141. 6:02racist. So, I don't blame our day for
142. 6:05his death. I blame Cambridge and the
143. 6:07media who indulge his delusions.
144. 6:10Which once again raises a simple
145. 6:12question. Does it matter who you say you
146. 6:15are? You have so-called good-hearted
147. 6:18people who will say, "Hey, if it's not
148. 6:21hurting anyone, who cares if Mike says
149. 6:23he's a Mary?" Oh, what's that? Mike
150. 6:26offed himself yesterday. Gh those
151. 6:28transphobes. But when a person dies from
152. 6:31the misery caused by the gulf between
153. 6:33fantasy and reality, the enablers don't
154. 6:36get to share in the sorrow. And they
155. 6:38certainly do not get to curse those who
156. 6:40refuse to play along. A person committed
157. 6:43suicide because he was granted a
158. 6:45lifestyle based on a lie. A lie
159. 6:47protected by a mob. It reminds me of a
160. 6:50guy who came to my shows and said, "I
161. 6:53should write for you. All my friends say
162. 6:55I'm the funniest guy they know." I said,
163. 6:58"Don't believe them. [laughter]
164. 7:03They'll say anything to get you to shut
165. 7:06up." Yet, out of pity, I hired him
166. 7:09anyway.
167. 7:14>> [applause]
168. 7:17>> But you know, you know, it's why Simon
169. 7:20Cowell was doing God's work, telling
170. 7:23people who've been told for years that
171. 7:25they have a voice of an angel that they
172. 7:28really have the voice of a hell's angel.
173. 7:32He was trying to save those people from
174. 7:35themselves. Someone had to do it. No one
175. 7:38did it for the professor, especially
176. 7:41those so-called mourers. and they should
177. 7:43be sobbing, not just for the death of
178. 7:45the professor, but for the death of
179. 7:47truth.
180. 7:50[cheering]
181. 7:51>> Let's welcome tonight's guest.
182. 7:57She was on an equestrian team, so she's
183. 8:00used to being around horses asses.
184. 8:02Co-host of the Party Lines podcast,
185. 8:03Aaron Magcguire.
186. 8:08He's proof that hard work and humor both
187. 8:11start with the letter H. Comedian Joe
188. 8:14Mackey.
189. 8:18His act is the reason he has to rely on
190. 8:21his looks. Comedian Jeff Dy.
191. 8:25[screaming]
192. 8:27And she may have the shivers, but she's
193. 8:29funnier than Robin Quivers, New York
194. 8:31Times bestselling author and Fox's
195. 8:33contributor.
196. 8:34[cheering]
197. 8:36>> [applause]
198. 8:40>> You know, I when I saw this story,
199. 8:42Aaron, I I I I'm always reminded that
200. 8:46even though people get mad when you call
201. 8:48people out,
202. 8:50it's better to call people out than to
203. 8:53enable them to through a delusion that
204. 8:56will ultimately end in some kind of
205. 8:58self-destruction. And we see this all
206. 9:00the time. that happens in lives with
207. 9:01whether people are addicts or they
208. 9:03believe in some kind of crazy fallacy
209. 9:05and conspiracy.
210. 9:07>> Truth is the best the best disinfectant
211. 9:09available. Being honest is is the way to
212. 9:11go and asking the questions the
213. 9:13journalist asks don't make them the
214. 9:15problem here. The problem was the
215. 9:17behavior of the individual who seemed to
216. 9:20create a fantasy land of his career.
217. 9:22>> That's the problem. The mental health
218. 9:23issues on this are also worrisome
219. 9:26because they're using the media as the
220. 9:28out here versus the accountability,
221. 9:30which is what it should be. Calling
222. 9:31someone out for their bad behavior
223. 9:33doesn't make journalism the problem. And
224. 9:35believe me, I work with reporters all
225. 9:36the time. I've seen reporters cross the
226. 9:38line. I've seen reporters ask
227. 9:40inappropriate question. I've seen
228. 9:41reporters act inappropriately. This is
229. 9:44not that instance. And to not be able to
230. 9:46call out the honest moment here is
231. 9:48really the larger issue. And how am I
232. 9:50ever the one to defend the media in this
233. 9:52instance? But I am.
234. 9:53>> You shouldn't even have to defend him
235. 9:54because they coddled him for years. This
236. 9:56was an open secret. It didn't happen
237. 9:58until he was outed by another professor
238. 10:00who actually analyzed like 10 of the
239. 10:02papers that he loved and it found like
240. 10:03he had almost nothing to do with them.
241. 10:06So Joe, uh, you know, this is a, uh,
242. 10:09perfect topic for you because I often
243. 10:11try to rid you of your delusions of
244. 10:13talent
245. 10:15and in many ways you should be you
246. 10:17should be grateful that I often say
247. 10:20you'll amount to nothing because when
248. 10:22you do achieve a little something, you
249. 10:24must feel pretty good.
250. 10:28>> Greg, you often remind me of Simon
251. 10:30Cowell because you're quite critical and
252. 10:31you both have man boobs. [laughter]
253. 10:37>> [applause]
254. 10:39>> I'm just I'm just teasing you. Don't but
255. 10:41I I will say this. [laughter]
256. 10:43>> I I will say this. Uh just because
257. 10:46someone might harm themselves, you can't
258. 10:49predict that. It doesn't mean you can't
259. 10:51criticize people who do something wrong.
260. 10:54And Jason Arde's case is in no way
261. 10:56analogous in the scale of of making up
262. 10:58your resume. But, you know, imagine if
263. 11:00people were upset about criticizing
264. 11:02Jeffrey Epstein just because he killed
265. 11:04himself. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. He didn't
266. 11:07actually kill himself. Never mind. But
267. 11:10this is a to paraphrase Joe DeVito. Uh
268. 11:13when someone does something uh
269. 11:16conservatives will ask what happened,
270. 11:17liberals will ask who did it. It's a
271. 11:19it's a common strategy of uh Darvo,
272. 11:22which stands for deny, attack, reverse,
273. 11:24victim, and offender. And that's what's
274. 11:25happening here. M Darvo. [applause]
275. 11:29>> I love an acronym.
276. 11:32Great 1970s band. Whip it. I think
277. 11:34[laughter]
278. 11:35>> Yeah, whip it good.
279. 11:36>> So Jeff, this is a perfect topic for you
280. 11:39because suicide's not funny either.
281. 11:42[laughter]
282. 11:46>> I don't understand. I'm very funny.
283. 11:49[laughter]
284. 11:49>> Yo, isn't it kind of like if you feed
285. 11:53somebody's like delusion or their monta?
286. 11:55Yeah, I think he had Montousen like he
287. 11:57constantly was or maybe he didn't. I
288. 11:59don't know. It's a long It's almost
289. 12:00long-term abuse.
290. 12:02>> Yeah. I also think that this is if I
291. 12:04could put into one word modern problem,
292. 12:07modern's biggest problem. It's
293. 12:09accountability.
294. 12:10>> There's no like accountability for
295. 12:12anything. It's always someone else's
296. 12:14fault. Oh, I cheated because so and so
297. 12:17didn't was neglecting me at home or it
298. 12:20isn't me. It was my mom and dad's fault.
299. 12:22My therapist blamed it on so- and so. my
300. 12:24ex was a narcissist or my it's always
301. 12:26someone else. It's always something
302. 12:28else. And so, nobody knows how to take
303. 12:31accountability for any of the things
304. 12:33that are happening. But if media or mean
305. 12:36media or whatever it's called um counted
306. 12:40for suicide, then why didn't Donald
307. 12:41Trump kill himself by now? Yeah.
308. 12:43>> Like he he could blame the media and go,
309. 12:44"You guys were so hard on me." You know?
310. 12:47Uh you see it in the WNBA issue where
311. 12:49where they're they're all like they they
312. 12:51don't want to deal with the real
313. 12:52information of it because it sounds like
314. 12:54it's mean. They're so worried about
315. 12:55things being mean that they don't want
316. 12:56to take accountability for what's
317. 12:58actually happening.
318. 12:58>> I've been told I mean all my life and I
319. 13:01finally realized I was right.
320. 13:03>> Yeah. [laughter]
321. 13:05>> Well, Simon Cal was he sounds mean but
322. 13:07he's being honest. So saying that a
323. 13:09biological male will dominate a
324. 13:11biological female sounds mean but it's
325. 13:13honest. Yeah. being this guy's resume
326. 13:15was full of that's honest but maybe a
327. 13:18little mean to his lies.
328. 13:20>> They the biggest criticism.
329. 13:23[applause and cheering]
330. 13:24He's
331. 13:24>> right. He's right.
332. 13:26>> The biggest criticism of this show is
333. 13:29that it's mean,
334. 13:30>> right?
335. 13:31>> Well, that you're mean.
336. 13:32>> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]
337. 13:34>> Well, it is called Gutfeld. Um Yeah. Um
338. 13:37but it's true. That's the number one.
339. 13:39But the thing is I you know cat one of
340. 13:41the things that I I hate about the the
341. 13:45people that hired him is they loved our
342. 13:47day because they treated him like a
343. 13:49trophy.
344. 13:50>> It's like they got him. Harvard didn't
345. 13:52get him. They got him. Oh look, we got
346. 13:54the youngest black professor and he's
347. 13:56like a visionary. He's like a savant.
348. 13:59Blah blah blah.
349. 14:00>> So condescending.
350. 14:01>> Yeah,
351. 14:01>> it is condescending. And also the fact
352. 14:04that it does it makes them ultimately
353. 14:06look really bad because Cambridge, I've
354. 14:10heard from what I've heard about it, is
355. 14:11supposed to be full of scholars.
356. 14:13>> Yes.
357. 14:13>> And they're all scholars over there and
358. 14:15you know you can't get in cuz you're not
359. 14:17a scholar enough and we have pipes and
360. 14:18whatever.
361. 14:19>> But
362. 14:21with all right is that that's okay.
363. 14:24Yeah.
364. 14:25>> With all the scholaring they're doing,
365. 14:29he out they couldn't scholar this. No,
366. 14:31he outscored them.
367. 14:33>> Like the the people who he actually
368. 14:35stole the work from, that's kind of how
369. 14:37the the ball got rolling on this, which
370. 14:40>> uh you know, obviously plagiarism isn't
371. 14:42victimless. It's stealing someone else's
372. 14:44work, which is stealing, and stealing is
373. 14:47never victimless, but it makes them look
374. 14:49bad on that level, too. It's like, "Hey
375. 14:51guys, aren't you supposed to be the ones
376. 14:54who figure everything out? Where were
377. 14:55you on this one?" It wasn't like it was
378. 14:58just a lie.
379. 14:59>> Yeah. There was a lot to choose from.
380. 15:01Yeah.
381. 15:02>> And not one scholar
382. 15:04>> among all of your little scholar hangs
383. 15:07could pick out even one of them.
384. 15:08>> Yeah.
385. 15:10>> What does that say about you guys?
386. 15:13[applause]
387. 15:15>> Yeah. And I to keep the monologue at a
388. 15:18reasonable length. I couldn't list all
389. 15:21of the fraud the things that this guy
390. 15:23did. Some of them were just insane. Like
391. 15:26not just one. No, he just cla he claimed
392. 15:27that he was on a TV show that existed
393. 15:29before he was born. And it it you know,
394. 15:33and it's like, you're right, but I do
395. 15:34think it was a willful ignorance of
396. 15:36their because this was a trophy and they
397. 15:38didn't want to give it back.
398. 15:40>> Anyway, on to more fun things.
399. 15:44[applause] More fun than that.
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