Give me 18min & I’ll improve your storytelling skills by 183% — Transcript
Full transcript
- 0:00I analyzed 78 of the most successful
- 0:02speakers on this planet to find out how
- 0:05they tell stories. And after watching
- 0:06really hundreds of their videos, I found
- 0:08out that it all comes down to one thing.
- 0:10That's actually one thing that most
- 0:12people don't use. Once you know that,
- 0:14well, you will tell stories like the top
- 0:161%. What do you think is the single most
- 0:19important element in great storytelling?
- 0:22Hook.
- 0:25Conflict, all right.
- 0:28Authenticity, okay. One more.
- 0:31Emotion, oh, beautiful. Let's watch a
- 0:33quick 30-second video right now on the
- 0:35screen, and then you tell me which one
- 0:37of those is actually the single most
- 0:39important storytelling technique or
- 0:41element that is out there. And I'm on
- 0:43And I'm on this machine, whatever that
- 0:45does, right? And I see this guy who does
- 0:48actually look like Thor's trainer,
- 0:49staring at me. And I'm like, oh god, am
- 0:51I am I doing something wrong? And in the
- 0:54past, I just would have slunk off my
- 0:55machine, but I'm like, no, I'm going to
- 0:56ask him. I'm like, "Hey, is everything
- 0:57cool? Like, did you want to work in?"
- 0:59And he goes, "Oh god, no, I'm just in my
- 1:00own world. Like, no." And I was like,
- 1:02"Okay, cool, cuz you were like staring
- 1:02at me really hard." And he was just
- 1:04like, "No, no, no, don't worry about
- 1:05it." So, I go back and I get off the
- 1:07machine, and then he comes up to me.
- 1:08He's like, "So, uh you've been working
- 1:10out at this gym for a long time?" And I
- 1:11was like, "Oh my god, he's hitting on
- 1:13me." And I'm like, "Oh, um I mean, yeah,
- 1:15I've been been coming here for a little
- 1:17bit." He's like, "Cool, I'm a trainer
- 1:18here, and I just wanted to give you some
- 1:19pointers." And I was like, "Oh no, he's
- 1:22not hitting on you, he just wants a
- 1:24job." So, I say to this guy, like, "You
- 1:26know, I
- 1:27had a baby 7 weeks ago." And he goes,
- 1:28"Oh, trying to lose the baby weight."
- 1:32So, I just, you know,
- 1:34muster up my dignity, and I say, "No,
- 1:35Brandon, I'm just trying to regain my
- 1:37strength." And he said, "Great." And he
- 1:39walked away, and I cried a little bit.
- 1:42Which one out of those ones did you see
- 1:45right now in this video? Emotion? Yeah,
- 1:47for sure. Authenticity. Authenticity,
- 1:50felt very authentic, yes. Details?
- 1:53Details, yes, let's add details.
- 1:55Details. I like all of them. They're all
- 1:58true, but there is this underlying
- 2:00underlying theme amongst all of them.
- 2:03Now, imagine you're watching this war
- 2:04movie, and it starts with this
- 2:05helicopter shot all the way from the
- 2:06top. You see the tanks advancing, you
- 2:08see the soldiers lining up. It's like
- 2:10interesting for like 2 seconds, and then
- 2:12you're like, "Dude, take me down there,
- 2:13right? I want to be part of the action.
- 2:15I want to see the soldiers, I want to
- 2:16see the mud in their face. I want to be
- 2:18part of the action." Now, how does that
- 2:20relate to storytelling? Oftentimes, when
- 2:23we tell stories, we stay stuck in this
- 2:25helicopter view, where we're like, "Oh
- 2:27well, I had a difficult problem, it was
- 2:28tough, but I overcame it." That's
- 2:30high-level, but the best storytellers,
- 2:32they zoom into the trenches, they zoom
- 2:34[music] into the moment where something
- 2:36is happening. Now, the good news is,
- 2:38it's pretty easy, actually, to zoom into
- 2:40the moment. There are four crucial steps
- 2:43that you can use to zoom into the
- 2:44moment. I call them P A S T, or past.
- 2:48Let's start with the first one, with P.
- 2:51A very common mistake that I see when
- 2:53people start telling a story is that
- 2:55they try to be too descriptive. They're
- 2:57like, "Well, it was a warm Sunday
- 3:00afternoon. Birds were singing, and there
- 3:02was a smell of lavender in the air." If
- 3:05you start your story like that, you've
- 3:07already lost them before you've even
- 3:08started. And so, the much better
- 3:11approach there is actually to start it
- 3:13in in a different way. And that is, "2
- 3:15weeks ago, I'm sitting in my apartment
- 3:17in Amsterdam,
- 3:19looking at my laptop."
- 3:21Now, you're already in it, right? Now,
- 3:22you already can imagine something. Or I
- 3:24say, "Hey, last July, I'm standing in
- 3:27front of the conference room, taking a
- 3:28deep breath." Now, you already start
- 3:30creating a visual in your mind. Now,
- 3:32that brings me to the first one. The
- 3:34first technique is P for place. So, what
- 3:37you want to share very early on is the
- 3:40location. Where does the story take
- 3:42place? And I know some people are
- 3:44wondering, like, "Do I have to describe
- 3:45the place in all details, right? Do I
- 3:46have to say, 'Well, the conference room
- 3:48had a wooden table, a flat screen, and a
- 3:52lot of chairs'"? Obviously, you don't,
- 3:53right? It doesn't matter whether they
- 3:55can visualize their conference room or
- 3:57your conference room. They should just
- 3:59see some sort of conference room. And
- 4:01so, there, just state the place, and it
- 4:03will already start creating this image
- 4:05in people's mind. That's the first one.
- 4:07Place works incredibly well with the
- 4:10second technique. Let's talk about this
- 4:12one. The most common mistake that I see
- 4:15across all of the stories that I've
- 4:16listened to, and I've listened by now to
- 4:18thousands, is that people give too much
- 4:21context. [music]
- 4:21They're like, "Well, I used to work at
- 4:23this company for about 3 years. Yeah, it
- 4:25was a good company.
- 4:27I like my manager." And then they give
- 4:29more and more context around their role,
- 4:30and you're like, "Dude, where is the
- 4:32story?" And so, the better way is to
- 4:34start right into the action. And that
- 4:38means you start with forward momentum.
- 4:40So, you say something like, "Hey, 2
- 4:42weeks ago, I'm in my apartment in
- 4:43Amsterdam, when this notification pops
- 4:46up."
- 4:47And then you're already into it, right?
- 4:49Or hey, I'm at the security
- 4:51check at the airport, putting my bag in,
- 4:54when someone calls my name, "Philip."
- 4:56Then you're already into the action.
- 4:59Now, how can you make sure that you get
- 5:00the most out of that? It is really to
- 5:02use those action verbs. So, anytime that
- 5:04you can say things like, "Hey, I walk, I
- 5:07shout, I bike, I open the door, I
- 5:09close." All of those things create a
- 5:12movie in your listener's mind. And the
- 5:14more you can do that, the more visual
- 5:16would be, the more people will be into
- 5:18the moment. [music]
- 5:19Now, you've already told a story, right?
- 5:21Each one of you. Now, this time, I just
- 5:22want you to think about how can I tweak
- 5:24those first, maybe 20 seconds of that
- 5:27story by incorporating place and action.
- 5:30I I want to hear from maybe one or two
- 5:32people. I want to hear their version of
- 5:35the start of their story. Who'd like to
- 5:36volunteer?
- 5:37She's got her arms wide open, and she's
- 5:39smiling at me. She's walking towards me.
- 5:42And as I start walking towards her, my
- 5:44heart drops. I start to take deep
- 5:48breaths while trying to smile, because I
- 5:50don't know her name. And as we get
- 5:53closer to each other, she says, "Hey,
- 5:56V." And I say, "Hey." And then the whole
- 5:59conversation, I see that she saw that I
- 6:02didn't know her name,
- 6:02>> [laughter]
- 6:03>> and I just wanted the floor to eat me
- 6:05alive. Now, that was a wonderful
- 6:07demonstration of how to do that, right?
- 6:09We were right in the moment, we could
- 6:10picture it. And everything that she
- 6:12said, it was action unfolding in front
- 6:14of our eyes. Now, you were already super
- 6:16advanced. Can I give just one
- 6:17suggestion? We didn't talk about this
- 6:19yet. Sometimes it helps to give this
- 6:21whole thing a place, and then also state
- 6:23the date when it happened. Because the
- 6:25moment that you say it, time and
- 6:27location, people are like, "Ah, sure,
- 6:29that is obviously a true story." Cuz
- 6:30sometimes we get into the habit when we
- 6:31don't say that, that people question
- 6:33that. Okay, let's hear from one more
- 6:34person.
- 6:38>> [laughter]
- 6:39>> Yes, come here. Okay.
- 6:41Last Friday, I was in Mexicali with my
- 6:44boyfriend and some of his friends,
- 6:47when I started talking with his friend
- 6:49called Luca. Now, what you also have to
- 6:52know, on Sunday, I was supposed to meet
- 6:55Lucas,
- 6:56similar name,
- 6:58uh to hang out at a beach club. Now, I
- 7:00kind of didn't realize that Luca and
- 7:02Lucas are two different people, as I
- 7:04didn't know them very well. So, I
- 7:06accidentally invited Luca instead of
- 7:08Lucas to come hang out on Sunday, and it
- 7:10got awkward.
- 7:12>> [laughter]
- 7:12>> Okay, beautiful. Stay here, stay here
- 7:14for a second.
- 7:15Okay, beautiful. I loved it. It was
- 7:17straight into the action as well. Can I
- 7:18give you just one suggestion? When you
- 7:20do that as well, share almost what is
- 7:22happening in the moment. Like, you look
- 7:24at this person, you're like,
- 7:25"You look familiar. You look all right."
- 7:27And then you share whatever you said in
- 7:29that moment, because that will then
- 7:31become even more interesting. So, I
- 7:33looked at Lucas, and I said, "I'll see
- 7:35you on Sunday." And he said, "What?"
- 7:38Perfect, that's it.
- 7:40Let's talk about the next one, the next
- 7:41technique. This is the storytelling
- 7:44technique that I use the most, and it
- 7:46makes
- 7:46>> [music]
- 7:46>> any story so much more interesting. Now,
- 7:49a lot of your stories will have more
- 7:50than one character, right? There's Luca,
- 7:52there's maybe coworker, there's maybe
- 7:54friend, anyone. [music]
- 7:55Now, if you want to make your story more
- 7:57interesting, share what were the exact
- 8:00words of that moment. What did that
- 8:02person say [music]
- 8:03in that crucial moment of the story?
- 8:05Now, let me give you an example. Some
- 8:08amateur storytellers, they would say
- 8:09something like, "Well, um in that
- 8:11moment, my manager was very upset with
- 8:13me."
- 8:14That's not that interesting, right? Much
- 8:16more interesting [music] is, "In that
- 8:17moment, my manager called me and said,
- 8:20'Philip, what the
- 8:21that, right? You were all over the place
- 8:23in that presentation." I just put down
- 8:25here three sentences. What I want you to
- 8:27do is turn around this so that it
- 8:29includes the speech. And so, here, "My
- 8:31customer was very upset." That sounds
- 8:33pretty boring, right? How could you turn
- 8:36this around so that it's so much more
- 8:38interesting? You could say, "Hey,
- 8:40in this moment, my customer called me
- 8:42and said, 'Hey, that technology that you
- 8:44just sold us messed up our entire
- 8:47production system. Like, this is
- 8:48terrible right now.' Those could have
- 8:50been the words in that moment." Okay?
- 8:52Now, I give you an example for the first
- 8:53one. Now, I want your help. "My mom was
- 8:56very happy." How could you reframe that
- 8:58so that it includes the speech or the
- 9:00dialogue of that moment? Yes? So, my
- 9:02mother had a birthday party. She didn't
- 9:05know that I was coming. So, I I knocked
- 9:07at the door, and she opened the door,
- 9:09and she just saw the smile on her face.
- 9:11And I saw the smile on her face.
- 9:14Perfect. And then, what did your mother
- 9:16say in that moment? That's what this
- 9:18technique is about. What are the exact
- 9:19words of that moment? You really came,
- 9:21son, or I don't know.
- 9:23>> [laughter]
- 9:25>> Does your mom speak like you to the like
- 9:26this?
- 9:29"I'm really happy that you're here, my
- 9:30son."
- 9:31>> [laughter]
- 9:33>> So, then, when you want to turn this
- 9:34around, you're like, "Hey, I knock at
- 9:36this door, and my mom opens, and she
- 9:37said, 'What? You're here? That's
- 9:39crazy.'" Right? Whatever it is, but
- 9:41share the exact words of that moment.
- 9:43This is the technique that I use the
- 9:44most, because it's so simple, but it
- 9:46makes any story much more interesting.
- 9:48So, this one here stands for speech.
- 9:51People usually wonder, like, "Hey, this
- 9:53sounds cool, but what if I don't
- 9:54remember, right? I don't know about you,
- 9:55but my memory is pretty lousy. I forget
- 9:57something that someone told me like a
- 9:58week ago. If it is a dialogue or a
- 10:01speech that you don't remember, you can
- 10:02use the words that could have been used
- 10:04in that moment. So, there you have some
- 10:06sort of creative freedom. It's the last
- 10:07person. Okay, last person to stop
- 10:09talking has to volunteer for everyone.
- 10:12Boom, come here.
- 10:13Boom, I like to hear the part of the
- 10:16conversation where
- 10:17you really take us into the moment. What
- 10:19did that other person say? 2 weeks ago
- 10:21before coming to Bali, which is 1 week
- 10:23before coming, I broke up with my
- 10:25boyfriend of 5 years.
- 10:28And I was like I just go to the kitchen.
- 10:30It was a Sunday evening and I was like,
- 10:31"Hey, it's over. I just can't anymore."
- 10:34And his only response was, "Okay, what
- 10:36are we going to do with the house?"
- 10:38>> [laughter]
- 10:39>> Yeah.
- 10:40So, that's it. And I'm like, "That's the
- 10:42only response that I'm going to have."
- 10:43And he was like, "Yeah, but I mean, I'm
- 10:45a man. I'm going to have to do the
- 10:46technical thing. So, what are we going
- 10:47to do with the house? You know, are we
- 10:48going to sell it? Are we going to do
- 10:49something?" And I'm like, "Yeah, I
- 10:51expected something else, you know. I
- 10:52expected a little bit more emotion. I
- 10:54expected another response." But after
- 10:56that,
- 10:57I think he just like
- 10:58went to the emotional part, but it was
- 11:00too late for me. So,
- 11:01Wonderful. Okay, beautiful. Stay here a
- 11:04second. Wonderful. Hey, that was a
- 11:06beautiful story. Not beautiful story,
- 11:07that was a tragic story.
- 11:09But on the techniques, well executed. If
- 11:11I could just give you one tip there,
- 11:14there is Which one is the most important
- 11:15line in that story? The first thing that
- 11:18that boyfriend said, right? That's the
- 11:20moment that you want to milk. That's the
- 11:22That's the moment where first you want
- 11:24to pause much more. And also, you can
- 11:26increase already the anticipation
- 11:28before. So, you share the thoughts.
- 11:29You're like, "Ah, I'm curious what he's
- 11:30going to say right now. Does he want to
- 11:32win me back right now?" So, share a
- 11:34little bit the anticipation before. So,
- 11:35then the contrast is even more. Want to
- 11:37give it one more try?
- 11:39You want me to do the bad moment again,
- 11:40right?
- 11:41Go fully in it. Want to see some tears.
- 11:44So,
- 11:45um yeah, last Saturday, which is like 1
- 11:46week 2 weeks ago before coming to Bali,
- 11:49I just It was a Sunday evening. I went
- 11:51to my boyfriend in the kitchen and I was
- 11:53like, "Hey, it's over for us. We It's
- 11:56been a 5-year relationship. It just
- 11:58didn't work." And you know, at that
- 11:59moment, I was really expecting some
- 12:01emotion. I was expecting a you know,
- 12:03something to just like revive the thing.
- 12:06And his only response was, "Okay, what
- 12:09are we going to do with the house?"
- 12:11All right.
- 12:12>> [applause]
- 12:12>> That was a good one.
- 12:14It was perfect. I love the anticipation.
- 12:15That already made it much more much
- 12:17stronger. There, when he said that, you
- 12:20could pause even more to let it sink.
- 12:22We're like, "Okay."
- 12:23But perfect. Thank you. All right. Let's
- 12:25now move to the last technique. That
- 12:27technique is actually the technique that
- 12:30makes any story much more emotional.
- 12:32This is what really helps you connect
- 12:34with your listeners. When you [music]
- 12:36use that, and a lot of you were already
- 12:37using it a little bit unconsciously,
- 12:39this is really how you connect to your
- 12:41listeners. So, bad storytellers, [music]
- 12:43they just give you a summary. They say
- 12:45things like, "Well, then
- 12:47I had a difficult situation with my
- 12:49manager." Amateur storytellers, they
- 12:51describe the emotion. They say something
- 12:53like, "My manager was very frustrated."
- 12:56Which is a little bit better, but it's
- 12:57still not great. But great storytellers,
- 12:59they do it something different. And they
- 13:01share the exact thoughts of that moment.
- 13:04They share what that character was
- 13:05thinking in that crucial moment of the
- 13:07story. So, here for example, we could
- 13:08say, "Hey,
- 13:09in this moment, I thought, 'Damn,
- 13:12he's going to hate me for this.' So, I
- 13:14share whatever is going on in my mind.
- 13:16We as humans, we've thousands and
- 13:18thousands of thoughts every single day.
- 13:20A lot of those thoughts are weird
- 13:22thoughts, anxious thoughts, hopes,
- 13:23dreams, plans. Share some of those
- 13:25thoughts to make it much more
- 13:27interesting. Now, this one, this last
- 13:28one, this T stands for thoughts. I've
- 13:31put down here three statements that are
- 13:33right now written in a in a form that is
- 13:35not ideal. We want to make it much more
- 13:36interesting.
- 13:37>> [music]
- 13:37>> So, let's look at the first one. "I was
- 13:39nervous about the meeting." That is
- 13:42pretty boring. Now, how could you
- 13:43reframe that so that you share whatever
- 13:46was going on in your mind? Let me give
- 13:47you one example. I thought,
- 13:50"This is going to be terrible, right?
- 13:51They're going to tear my presentation
- 13:53apart. I'll be crying in the meeting."
- 13:55So, those could have been my thoughts in
- 13:57that moment. Let's look at the second
- 13:58one. "I was excited about my date." Who
- 14:01wants to reframe that? Yes. I was
- 14:03looking for different outfits and
- 14:05couldn't uh decide what to wear. I was
- 14:10anxious about everything and I just
- 14:11wanted it to be perfect. Okay, perfect.
- 14:14Here you are still describing,
- 14:15summarizing the situation. But tell us,
- 14:17"Hey, you're right now standing in front
- 14:19of this wardrobe, right? What is
- 14:21happening in your mind? What are the
- 14:22exact thoughts of that moment?" I was
- 14:25thinking if he's going to like me, if I
- 14:27look good enough, if I should wear pink
- 14:30lipstick or red lipstick, or if he's
- 14:32going to be funny, if I'm going to be
- 14:34funny. I just wasn't sure how it was
- 14:35going to go. Okay, perfect. And now
- 14:37frame it in a way where it's the
- 14:39thoughts come up in this moment. So, you
- 14:40stand in front of there.
- 14:42"I don't know whether he's going to like
- 14:43me. Does this lipstick look good on me?"
- 14:46And so, bring us really into the moment
- 14:47and share the exact thoughts. Don't need
- 14:49to summarize them.
- 14:50Okay. So, I was looking in myself into
- 14:52the mirror and in my head, I was
- 14:55thinking, "Is Is he going to be funny?
- 14:57Am I going to be laughing at his jokes?
- 15:00Are we going to be a match?
- 15:02Um there were so many questions in my
- 15:03mind." Perfect. Beautiful. This is
- 15:05exactly where we want to get to, right?
- 15:06You want to share the raw, unfiltered
- 15:09thoughts of that moment. Let's look at
- 15:10the third one. "I was embarrassed about
- 15:13the money." Whatever that means.
- 15:15How would you reframe that?
- 15:17I can share? Yes, please. I had a date
- 15:19with my crush and in the end, she just
- 15:22told me that she had no interest in me.
- 15:25But and then the moment came where we
- 15:27had to pay for pay for the dinner. My
- 15:30first thought was, "Shit, she already
- 15:32rejected me. Should I pay for it or
- 15:35>> [laughter]
- 15:36>> So,
- 15:37I told [clears throat] her
- 15:38I would just pay for myself.
- 15:42>> [laughter]
- 15:43>> Good stuff. I loved it.
- 15:46No, it was wonderful. Like, did you see
- 15:47that thought made it so interesting? And
- 15:50also, it felt like, "Hey, this is some
- 15:51real thought that are happening in that
- 15:53moment." When you share those thoughts,
- 15:56give us the raw, unfiltered thoughts.
- 15:58Cuz a huge mistake that a lot of people
- 16:00do is they give us the polished version.
- 16:02They're like, "Well, in this moment, I
- 16:04thought this represents a supreme
- 16:06opportunity for my career progression."
- 16:09Now, I don't know about your thoughts,
- 16:10but my thoughts don't sound like that.
- 16:12My thoughts are like,
- 16:15"I am dead here." Now, we've covered
- 16:17right now the four techniques that
- 16:19matter the most to zoom into the moment.
- 16:22P A S T.
- 16:23Place, action, speech, and thoughts.
- 16:26Let's now watch a another video. And in
- 16:28this video, you tell me this time which
- 16:31ones of them you observed at what point,
- 16:33okay? I was on a plane to Russia and the
- 16:36engine exploded. I was looking out the
- 16:39window and the entire engine just turned
- 16:41into a fireball. I was the only person
- 16:43there that seemed to see this, but it
- 16:45was a flaming fireball. I kind of felt
- 16:47like I'd already died and gone to heaven
- 16:49cuz no one said anything.
- 16:51And I was screaming at the top of my
- 16:53lungs, "What the hell is going on?"
- 16:55stewardess came out and said, "We seem
- 16:57to have a a slight problem here." And
- 16:59Russian guy finally said,
- 17:01"What is the problem?"
- 17:03And I said, "Well, we we lost one of our
- 17:06engines."
- 17:07>> [laughter]
- 17:08>> He goes, "How many engines did we have?"
- 17:10He's like, "Well, we had two. Now we
- 17:13have one."
- 17:15In which sequences did you observe
- 17:17elements of past?
- 17:19Let's start with place. What's the
- 17:20place?
- 17:22Russia?
- 17:24Airplane. Yes, it's the airplane.
- 17:26Action. What are the actions?
- 17:28Explosion.
- 17:30Yeah. But even what's the first sentence
- 17:31almost that he says?
- 17:33He looked out the window and he sees
- 17:35this thing exploding. Perfect. Right
- 17:36into the action, right? Speech. What is
- 17:39the speech?
- 17:42What happened? Yes, and then?
- 17:46We lost my engine. Yeah. And he
- 17:48imitates, right? He's like,
- 17:50"We seem to have a slight problem here."
- 17:53So, he takes over the entire
- 17:54conversation there, what is going on
- 17:55between that Russian guy between this
- 17:57air hostess. What about the thoughts?
- 17:59What are the moments where he shares the
- 18:01thoughts?
- 18:02Yeah. "I thought I had died and gone to
- 18:04heaven." Those are the thoughts. So,
- 18:06there you see it, right? Those are the
- 18:08four key elements that he uses.
- 18:10And he shares that story within 30
- 18:11seconds and it's such an incredible
- 18:13story. You can turn any average moment
- 18:16into the most incredible story by
- 18:18zooming into the moment. And how can you
- 18:20zoom in? By using the PAST framework.
- 18:22[music] So, place, action, speech, and
- 18:24thoughts. And that way, your stories
- 18:26will be unrecognizable.
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