[FULL STORY] I’m starting to despise my wife. — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00my manipulative wife refuses to work or
2. 0:01help around the house and tells me to
3. 0:03just man up and deal with it I know I
4. 0:05should leave her but I don't want to I
5. 0:06remember many years ago my wife begged
6. 0:08me to take on a second full-time job to
7. 0:10put her through college and I did but
8. 0:12when she completed her degree she out of
9. 0:14nowhere decided she didn't actually want
10. 0:16to work and would rather stay at home
11. 0:17with our child around a year later our
12. 0:19second was born and immediately I knew
13. 0:21we needed more money I tried convincing
14. 0:23my wife to work but she refused so I
15. 0:25went back to complete a master's degree
16. 0:26all while still working two jobs it was
17. 0:29hard but I did it and fast forward 3
18. 0:31years I support a household of four with
19. 0:33single income yet despite this I am
20. 0:34deeply stressed and chronically tired I
21. 0:37work 50-hour weeks and when I come home
22. 0:39I do the washing I do the cooking I
23. 0:40drive the kids everywhere 75% of the
24. 0:43household responsibilities are mine and
25. 0:45the worst part is my wife refuses to
26. 0:46help me I've asked her for help so many
27. 0:48times but each time she just says she
28. 0:50works just as hard and if I'm so tired I
29. 0:52should stop working so much what's funny
30. 0:54is I took her advice recently and took
31. 0:56two weeks off without telling her
32. 0:57beforehand and she freaked out because
33. 0:59how was she supped to pay for her spa
34. 1:00day now on top of that she seems like
35. 1:02she always feels the need to one up me
36. 1:04if I tell her I had a bad day she had it
37. 1:06worse cuz I'm lucky I got to go away for
38. 1:08work while she has to stay home if I
39. 1:10tell her my feet hurt from walking all
40. 1:11day during work travel and getting
41. 1:1330,000 steps she says that's nothing
42. 1:15compared to her standing and cooking
43. 1:16with a child clinging to her for the
44. 1:18past two or so years I've been told I
45. 1:19ruined her life her opportunities Etc
46. 1:22she makes me feel like absolute crap and
47. 1:24acts as if she wasn't the one who wanted
48. 1:25to be a stay-at-home mother in the first
49. 1:27place one thing I also need to mention
50. 1:28is that my Mill lives with with us and
51. 1:30she is absolutely lovely and honestly
52. 1:32does her best around the house given her
53. 1:33age she recently has brought me aside
54. 1:35and stated she's noticed a change in
55. 1:37both myself and my wife she states that
56. 1:39I have a greater attachment to my kids
57. 1:41and hell I've hugged the dogs and talked
58. 1:42to them more about my life than to my
59. 1:44wife I honestly feel like I am in
60. 1:46emotional survival mode as I'm one step
61. 1:48from moving up the career ladder and one
62. 1:50step away from Finding Love and comfort
63. 1:52from the bottom of a whiskey bottle
64. 1:54update I confronted my wife and didn't
65. 1:56back down when she played the woe is me
66. 1:57card but instead of actually talking it
67. 1:59out and futing any of my points she left
68. 2:01our house to stay with her sister the
69. 2:02day after she packed up and left my wife
70. 2:04attempted to come back and take the kids
71. 2:06with her to her sisters naturally I was
72. 2:08against this and thankfully so was her
73. 2:09whole family including said sister Not
74. 2:11only was it not fair to our kids for her
75. 2:13to sweep them away into a home that's
76. 2:15not theirs but to put that financial and
77. 2:16housing stress on the rest of her family
78. 2:18since she doesn't work and her sister
79. 2:20and her family husband and three kids
80. 2:22stays with their dad in the house they
81. 2:23grew up in after a little over a week of
82. 2:25being away I guess she cooled off so she
83. 2:27just decided that it would be fine if
84. 2:28she walked in the door with her bags as
85. 2:30if she just came back from Target she
86. 2:32came into my home office while I was
87. 2:33working and angrily stared at me while I
88. 2:35sat on a conference call meeting with my
89. 2:36team and I couldn't just jump off as
90. 2:38this is a busy time of the quarter for
91. 2:39us I guess that didn't sit well with her
92. 2:41because once I took off my headset and
93. 2:43closed my laptop she started yelling at
94. 2:45me about how much I really don't care
95. 2:46about her and her well-being overall at
96. 2:48that moment I couldn't do anything more
97. 2:50than look at her and just shake my head
98. 2:52mother-in-law came in after hearing my
99. 2:53wife yelling and pulled her away telling
100. 2:55her to not bother me while our Nanny
101. 2:56kept our youngest away from it all on
102. 2:58the other side of the house that night
103. 2:59night after the kids were put to bed I
104. 3:01sat in my office by myself with a drink
105. 3:03as I have been doing for the past nights
106. 3:04and my wife came in we talked we argued
107. 3:07we cried we drank one thing led to
108. 3:09another and we were in bed I wish I
109. 3:11could say that was our making up but the
110. 3:12next sobering morning as we laid there
111. 3:14she went on about how hard it was for
112. 3:16her the time she was gone literally it
113. 3:18was about her struggles staying at her
114. 3:19family house in her old room with her
115. 3:21dad and sister's family How Lucky I Am
116. 3:23to be able to stay here and do this and
117. 3:25that and buy this or do that and not
118. 3:27stress as much as they did how easy my
119. 3:29and everything one else's in our family
120. 3:30lives are compared to hers even though
121. 3:32we had similar upbringings my mind and
122. 3:34heart broke that morning I've been
123. 3:35spiraling down since then and this last
124. 3:37week I made another attempt to reconcile
125. 3:39and talk things out but I was met with a
126. 3:41shouting match while trying to express
127. 3:43my current stress and anxieties with
128. 3:44life and work in general wife well do
129. 3:46you know how hard this is all for me
130. 3:48you're supposed to help me be happy me
131. 3:50so when it comes to my happiness stress
132. 3:52needs and overall wellbe F me I should
133. 3:55just get over it right wife we all have
134. 3:56our own problems you need to figure it
135. 3:58out and get over them I don't know who
136. 4:00the woman I am at home with is but that
137. 4:01wasn't the woman I married and vowed to
138. 4:03spend my life with and raise our kids
139. 4:05together since that conversation I've
140. 4:06been noticeably distant with her I've
141. 4:08been sleeping in my office or on the
142. 4:09couch or with my kids in their bed after
143. 4:11putting either one of them to sleep
144. 4:13still doesn't change her starting her
145. 4:14day at 10:00 a.m. and sitting on her
146. 4:15phone talking to her mom groups with the
147. 4:17kids in both mother-in-law and Nanny's
148. 4:19care nothing has changed and I doubt
149. 4:21that anything will change sadly I think
150. 4:23even if we got a divorce nothing would
151. 4:24change or feel different anyway since
152. 4:26during my wife's leaving the days seemed
153. 4:28like any other day except with a little
154. 4:30more takeout than usual my main fear
155. 4:32there isn't that I wouldn't just lose my
156. 4:33wife I'd lose my kids in the process
157. 4:35update two after a hard push from our
158. 4:37family via an intervention my wife and I
159. 4:40finally attempted to go to marriage
160. 4:41counseling I'm sure many of you can
161. 4:43guess how well that went blame tears
162. 4:45regrets gaslighting with a side of I am
163. 4:47the reason for her life being ruined and
164. 4:49horrible again just this time in front
165. 4:51of a licensed therapist instead of mom
166. 4:52groups in the end everything the
167. 4:54therapist suggested and noted went over
168. 4:55her head and ignored as it was against
169. 4:57the grain of her status quo one thing I
170. 4:59guess worth saying was the therapist
171. 5:01asked if she could recall when she last
172. 5:03truly felt happy her response was about
173. 5:0512 or so years ago please note 12 years
174. 5:07ago she was still in her 20s childless
175. 5:09living with her ex a vastly different
176. 5:11time and position in life I know it's
177. 5:13Petty of me but I guess if that's when
178. 5:14she was last happy it wouldn't be that
179. 5:16far of a stretch for her to find that
180. 5:17happiness again since her ex is in the
181. 5:19same apartment job and place in life
182. 5:21that he was 12 years ago which is fine
183. 5:24if that's how you want to live life I
184. 5:25try not to judge but in my 40s with kids
185. 5:27going clubbing 3 4 days a week is not my
186. 5:29jam anymore to add I know some will ask
187. 5:32I know and can confirm she hasn't
188. 5:34physically cheated on me but can't
189. 5:35confirm if she did emotionally after
190. 5:37said therapy session I checked all her
191. 5:39phone records and didn't see anything
192. 5:40out of the ordinary but I also didn't
193. 5:42bother to check apps like IG or SnapChat
194. 5:44I know I'm probably boring but shout out
195. 5:46to all the Costco dads whose Sunday
196. 5:47Funday includes making rounds with kids
197. 5:49for samples the following weekend was
198. 5:51Father's day and this year as expected
199. 5:53not that big of a celebration as it is
200. 5:55for many dads out there our family got
201. 5:57together to celebrate with a BBQ and
202. 5:58just simple family family time and my
203. 6:00wife treated it like any other day sleep
204. 6:02in get up cook phone shop attempt to
205. 6:04play with kids phone during said family
206. 6:07BBQ my wife said she felt ill so she sat
207. 6:09around most of the day while the rest of
208. 6:10the family as a whole made the
209. 6:12experience enjoyable when everything was
210. 6:13set up and the family all sat at the
211. 6:15table her parents and sister's family my
212. 6:17mother our kids admittingly it was a
213. 6:19great spread nothing extravagant but
214. 6:21just a great meal for everyone I was
215. 6:23conversing with my brother-in-law about
216. 6:24both of our kids school Father's Day
217. 6:26activities and I assumed my wife
218. 6:27overheard when I mentioned that it was a
219. 6:29little sad to see some kids sit alone
220. 6:31without their fathers during the
221. 6:32breakfast with dad event I attended she
222. 6:34blurted out with a laugh loud enough for
223. 6:35the whole room to hear it's not like you
224. 6:37do anything anyway I could have gone
225. 6:39Instead at that moment I was R and at a
226. 6:41loss for words sitting there processing
227. 6:43what she said in my head while the
228. 6:44dining room went dead silent my milil
229. 6:46broke the awkwardness and in response
230. 6:48said well maybe if you feel that way one
231. 6:50of you should divorce the other my wife
232. 6:52looked at my milil confused that she
233. 6:54would respond with that and laughed
234. 6:56mockingly in my direction and with her
235. 6:58hand pointing at me said as if if
236. 6:59another woman would want a man like him
237. 7:01just look at you while the room sat
238. 7:03silent I was angry heartbroken confused
239. 7:05and embarrassed all at the same time in
240. 7:07manly man fashion I just nodded my head
241. 7:09in silence stood up and picked up my
242. 7:11keys and got in my truck and drove off
243. 7:13to get a drink while trying to ignore
244. 7:15the cries of the rest of the family and
245. 7:16our kids telling me to stay I don't know
246. 7:18what was said or done while I was out of
247. 7:20the house the rest of Sunday because I
248. 7:21couldn't bring myself to check our house
249. 7:23cameras but when I returned early Monday
250. 7:25morning the house had a completely
251. 7:26different feel as usual I woke up around
252. 7:28600 got got the house and our oldest
253. 7:30ready for school drop off checked emails
254. 7:32checked messages nothing out of the
255. 7:34ordinary as I was getting dressed to
256. 7:35leave my wife laid in our beds snoring
257. 7:37lightly all I could do was look at her
258. 7:39and think of what we had and now lost
259. 7:41I've decided I'm done I can't do this
260. 7:43anymore I texted my lawyer that morning
261. 7:45to move forward with serving her fast
262. 7:47forward to last week she was served at
263. 7:48our home she had I guess what you could
264. 7:50call a mini meltdown and came into my
265. 7:52office screaming how could I do this to
266. 7:54her her mother intervened and that was
267. 7:56met with me supposedly turning her whole
268. 7:58family against her but I ress I probably
269. 8:00would have felt bad if it wasn't
270. 8:01immediately followed by the rest of her
271. 8:03week acting as if she's been this active
272. 8:04and attentive wife and mother the past
273. 8:06few years sure people can say she's
274. 8:08making an attempt but she's made many
275. 8:09attempts and historically we fall back
276. 8:11to where we've been for those curious I
277. 8:13am aiming for full or at least majority
278. 8:15custody of our kids I already and will
279. 8:17continue to cover all the expenses for
280. 8:19our kids Insurance tuition both of our
281. 8:21kids are will be attending private
282. 8:23schools come fall medical bills Etc my
283. 8:26milil has given me the courage and
284. 8:27strength that helped supplement my own
285. 8:29own Mother's support throughout this
286. 8:31basically she is what I hoped the kind
287. 8:32of mother wife my wife would have been
288. 8:34to our kids and me out of respect for my
289. 8:36mil as well as per my own Mother's
290. 8:37shared wishes I will continue to help
291. 8:39oversee and contribute financial help if
292. 8:41needed during her treatments while some
293. 8:43may feel I should cut their whole family
294. 8:44off I know the hardships pushed onto a
295. 8:46family while dealing with cancer and
296. 8:48have dealt with it firsthand as a family
297. 8:49member and care provider on both sides
298. 8:51of the desk all in all I'm prepared to
299. 8:53go to war if needed but I just want a
300. 8:55clean no fuss divorce my wife has no
301. 8:57alimony coming so sorry for the
302. 8:58redditors and mommy gang Facebook group
303. 9:00saying she needs to divorce me first and
304. 9:02get that sweet sweet alimony money one
305. 9:04we live in a state that does not
306. 9:06typically enforce alimony two she has a
307. 9:08means of gainful employment immediately
308. 9:10three to help curb any possible problems
309. 9:12I will cover her insurance and bills
310. 9:14until either divorce is finalized or
311. 9:16when she gains full employment so that's
312. 9:18that I'm done and waiting for the steps
313. 9:19to be taken for everything to be
314. 9:21finalized sorry it wasn't as exciting of
315. 9:23a story with plot twist as some may have
316. 9:24hoped for but that's life not sure I'll
317. 9:26update this once it's all finalized
318. 9:28which probably won't be for a few more
319. 9:29months depending if we go to war or not