Full interview with Count Binface ahead of Clacton by-election | BBC News — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00Now, so far, one of the only few who say
2. 0:03they will stand in the Clacton
3. 0:05by-election is Count Binface, who was
4. 0:08last seen sharing a stage with Andy
5. 0:10Burnham at the Makerfield by-election.
6. 0:13And uh Count Binface joins us now.
7. 0:17>> Good Good Good morning your time. Good
8. 0:19evening Sigma time 9 time. It's a
9. 0:21pleasure to be with you.
10. 0:23>> Good morning from space. Hello to you.
11. 0:25Um first question, why would an
12. 0:26intergalactic space warrior want to
13. 0:29stand to be the MP for Clacton?
14. 0:33>> Why not?
15. 0:36>> It's a good question. Tell me about your
16. 0:38manifesto. What can you offer the people
17. 0:40of Clacton? Have you ever been there?
18. 0:43>> No, because I understand from the
19. 0:45current incumbent that is part of how
20. 0:47you do the job. So, I deliberately
21. 0:49stayed away. Is that how it works? But
22. 0:51uh you know, if I get the 10
23. 0:53nominations, because hey look, there's
24. 0:55no guarantee I'm standing for the
25. 0:57election as I'm sure you know. I'm I'm
26. 0:59game, but I have to get the signatures
27. 1:01from 10 local inhabitants. Otherwise,
28. 1:03this is a This is a non-starter. And
29. 1:06then of course, I will tailor my
30. 1:08manifesto to the local area as
31. 1:10[clears throat] always. But most of my
32. 1:12national policies will remain. Building
33. 1:14at least one affordable house,
34. 1:16nationalizing Adele, bring back Ceefax,
35. 1:19and of course, moving the hand dryer in
36. 1:22the gents toilet in the Crown and Treaty
37. 1:25pub Uxbridge to a more sensible
38. 1:27position, because as you know, it's a
39. 1:29national issue.
40. 1:31>> [laughter]
41. 1:31>> Those policies didn't go down too well,
42. 1:33did they, with the good people of
43. 1:34Makerfield? I believe you got 95 votes
44. 1:37at the recent by-election. So, how are
45. 1:38you hoping to do any better?
46. 1:41>> What What a disgracefully scornful tone.
47. 1:44How dare you? 95 actual votes. That's a
48. 1:48Dolly Parton. 95, just one shy of a
49. 1:52reverse 69, which I scored against Boris
50. 1:55in an Uxbridge sports hall in 2019. So,
51. 1:58I'm cock-a-hoop. I'm over your moon. I'm
52. 2:01over my moon. I'm doing very well. I
53. 2:03came seventh out of 14. I mean, what
54. 2:05what more do you want?
55. 2:07>> What do you say to those other parties
56. 2:09um who have decided not to field
57. 2:11candidates in Clacton?
58. 2:14>> Well, I mean, that's that's for them,
59. 2:16isn't it, mate? That's democracy. They
60. 2:18they can choose to run away from my
61. 2:21beneficence and magnificence. Uh or
62. 2:24maybe they just noticed that Nigel is up
63. 2:26to a a rather peculiar hissy fit, and
64. 2:29they're keeping their powder dry for a
65. 2:32second by-election. When of course the
66. 2:35uh parliamentary committee reports. But
67. 2:37uh interestingly, you see, the thing is
68. 2:39that second election, which would cost
69. 2:42380 grand, will only happen if Nigel
70. 2:46wins this one. So, if you vote Binface,
71. 2:48you save the British taxpayer 380,000
72. 2:53pounds without me doing anything. Stick
73. 2:55it in the Ministry of Defense. How do
74. 2:57you like them apples?
75. 3:00>> Can I ask roughly where you are, how
76. 3:02long it's going to take you to Clacton,
77. 3:04and where you're when you're planning to
78. 3:05make your first visit, and what you plan
79. 3:07to do while you're there?
80. 3:08>> Well, good question. Absolutely. Now
81. 3:10we're talking. We're cooking on gas
82. 3:12here. I was on my way back to Sigma 9 in
83. 3:15my starship, the Albireo, and I I caught
84. 3:18wind of what was going on yesterday. So,
85. 3:20I I did a quick old U-turn, like Keir
86. 3:23Starmer, did one of those. Lovely
87. 3:25jubbly. And zoomed back. So, I'm
88. 3:27approaching the Kuiper Belt of your star
89. 3:30system. And uh yeah, I'll be with you in
90. 3:32a jiffy.
91. 3:35>> Would you be up for a head-to-head
92. 3:38debate with Nigel Farage?
93. 3:41>> A tête-à-tête debate. I see what you're
94. 3:44saying. Yeah, why not? I'd be up for
95. 3:46that. I'd like to understand how you get
96. 3:495 million uh Earth pounds in crypto
97. 3:52donations which if they're completely
98. 3:55above board I think we'd all like some
99. 3:57of that so we could ask him how he can
100. 3:59enrich our coffers just like his own and
101. 4:02you know I think he's got I'm sure he's
102. 4:04got nothing to hide I'm sure he's not
103. 4:07going to do a reverse ferret because it
104. 4:09looks like it could be the binny muk bin
105. 4:11face election to demonstrate the wonders
106. 4:13of democracy like never before now I'm
107. 4:16sure he's up for it just as much as I
108. 4:18am.
109. 4:18>> Clearly Mr Farage denies any accusations
110. 4:21of wrongdoing very quickly count bin
111. 4:23face can you win?
112. 4:27>> Probably not but you know what it's the
113. 4:29taking part that counts my job is to
114. 4:31demonstrate that British democracy is
115. 4:34wonderful and unique in the entire
116. 4:36cosmos because you can stand for
117. 4:38whatever you want you can stand no
118. 4:40matter who you want you could stand if
119. 4:42you want come and join me why not
120. 4:44exercise your democratic right and let's
121. 4:47see what it takes me or indeed you you
122. 4:50might be the next MP for clacton who
123. 4:52knows.
124. 4:53>> Count bin face many thanks.
125. 4:56>> I went well done.