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Full interview: Elizabeth Smart, 20 years after her kidnapping — Transcript

by FOX 13 News Utah · 4,324 words · 620 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00It's hard to believe it's been 20 years.
0:02I mean, I remember
0:05the day that all of this started. I
0:09remember I mean we covered it and and I
0:13remember exactly
0:16where I was when they found you and I I
0:21am just
0:23to see how your life has evolved since
0:26that time
0:29has been remarkable to me and to
0:31everybody.
0:34And now here you are
0:37uh on
0:39you have been doing great good ever
0:42since. How do how do you account for
0:45that? I mean h how do you how does
0:48someone who went through what you went
0:50through
0:52get to that point where
0:55you use it as if it was emotional
0:58judo? You know, judo is where where you
1:02use your opponent's momentum against
1:05them, right?
1:07How did you do this?
1:10How did you do this?
1:13Well, [clears throat]
1:14I first of all, kidnapping and rape and
1:17sexual violence, I think they make you
1:20feel like you're the only one who's ever
1:22gone through that. it and it feels very
1:25shameful and it feels like a dirty
1:28secret that you don't want anyone to
1:30know about. And that's certainly how I
1:32felt. And when I got home, I wanted more
1:35than anything just to go back to being
1:38who I was before I was kidnapped. I
1:40wanted I wanted to be me. I wanted my
1:41old life back. And it was a process. And
1:45it took me a while to recognize that I
1:47will never be who I was before all this
1:50happened. That will never happen. and
1:52that person is gone. And um I needed to
1:56learn to be okay with my new life and
1:59that was you know that took time and
2:01that I mean it didn't just happen
2:03overnight. But my dad was very involved
2:07in advocacy and little by little he'd
2:10ask me what do you think about this?
2:12What do you think about the Amber Alert?
2:13Have you ever heard of the Amber Alert?
2:14Do you know what it is? Let me explain
2:16it to you. And little by little he'd
2:18talk to me about things and he'd invite
2:19me. He asked me, you know, do you want
2:21to come with me? Do you want to say
2:22something about this? Or, you know, do
2:24you feel like it's effective? And and so
2:26little by little, I started doing more
2:28and more. And as I did more, I met more
2:31people. And it was really shocking to me
2:34when I began to realize that actually
2:37what I went through is not so different
2:40and it's not so uncommon to what
2:43thousands of other people experience all
2:46the time. And as I began to uh have that
2:50understanding and realization come to
2:52me, I began to feel like, well,
2:55I can like I have a support network and
3:01my family does believe me. They're not
3:03divided thinking, oh, she's making this
3:05up. She's looking for attention or I
3:07know that person. They'd never do that.
3:08Like, everyone has always, maybe not
3:10everyone, but most people have always
3:12believed me. And I think that made a
3:15huge difference for me. And as I met
3:18these other survivors and I uh knew
3:21where I was in my journey and I was able
3:23to get kind of a vague idea of where
3:25these other survivors were, I thought I
3:28can do something about this and why
3:31would why shouldn't I? Like there's not
3:33a reason for me not to. So I went
3:36through it and it was terrible. But now
3:38I have an opportunity to do something
3:41about it and hopefully prevent other
3:43people from being kidnapped and
3:45hopefully prevent other people from
3:47being raped and sexually exploited. And
3:50that's kind of how it all started.
3:52I I remember your mother, and you've uh
3:55said this to many other interviewers,
3:57but it was your mother, Lois, who told
4:00you, you know, he's stolen
4:04nine months at the very least. stolen
4:07nine months of your life from you. Don't
4:10you give him another minute.
4:14Well, when you're 14 years old, you
4:17know,
4:19did that sink in at that time or did or
4:23did it take you some time to really come
4:26to understand what she meant and and get
4:29to that point where you could be
4:31proactive? Well, she said it. I think
4:34her timing had a lot to do with
4:36everything because she said it. I mean,
4:37it was the morning after I was rescued.
4:40It was I mean, just right there and I
4:42was still caught up in honestly the
4:44euphoria of being at home, the relief of
4:47being reunited with my family and and
4:50being safe and knowing that no one's
4:53going to be able to hurt me. And I mean,
4:55I was filled with all of these positive
4:56emotions. So when she at first said that
4:58to me, I was just like, "Well, of
5:00course, like why would I be sad?
5:02Everything that was taken away from me
5:04was just given back. I mean, are you
5:06kidding me? I just missed my freshman
5:08year of high school. I'm not going to
5:11miss anything else." I had some serious
5:13fear of missing out um on everything
5:17moving forward. And so when she said
5:19that to me, and at first my reaction was
5:21like, "Why are you telling me this? Of
5:23course I'm not going to. Of course I'm
5:25of course I'm not going to. of course
5:26I'm going to be happy. Um but I mean her
5:29words as they usually do uh tended to
5:33stay with me and then you know there
5:36were times when there I was hard when it
5:38was hard when I was frustrated. I mean
5:40the the trial the court case the
5:43proceedings I mean they were very
5:45frustrating. I mean it made me very
5:47angry thinking why is he why is this not
5:49done yet? You know it's 5 years it's 6
5:51years 7 years 8 years. How is this still
5:55not done? Um, and my mom growing up, I
5:59mean, she'd always whenever I had a bad
6:01day, she'd be like, "Elizabeth, you know
6:03what do you do when a horse bucks you
6:05off?" And I hated that so much. Oh, I
6:09hate it. I was like, "Just let me feel
6:11sorry for myself for 5 minutes."
6:12Why did you hate it? So, did your
6:15Because she always wanted me to get back
6:17up. She always wanted me to keep going.
6:18That's the way way my whole life was.
6:21And now as an adult, um, I am so
6:24appreciative of that because because I
6:28always, no matter how low I sunk, I
6:32still got back up and kept going because
6:35that's what I'd been raised to do and
6:38that's how I'm here.
6:39But you must have felt at some point
6:41when she's trying to encourage you that
6:43way. Look, Mom, you have no idea what I
6:46went through. Okay.
6:47Doesn't everybody think that sometimes?
6:49Well, I sure we all think that, but I
6:51mean, you're in a kind of an exclusive
6:54club here. [snorts] I mean, if you can
6:55call it a club for heaven's sakes. And I
6:58mean, none of us, none of us, as best as
7:01you could describe it in words, in your
7:03book, in interviews, and other ways,
7:06none of us could ever conceive of what
7:09you went through and what it did to you
7:12as a person and and now where you are. I
7:16mean, that is what is so amazing to all
7:19the rest of us is that you went from
7:22being this innocent 14-year-old girl to
7:25experiencing this incredible, traumatic,
7:29awful, terrible situation. I mean, there
7:31aren't enough adjectives to describe
7:34what it was you went through to now on
7:37the other side of this blessing the
7:39lives and potentially blessing the lives
7:41of millions of people. I mean, how do
7:45you reconcile that? How How did you
7:47That's why I asked, how on earth did you
7:50do this?
7:51Well, yeah. Was it bad? Yeah, it was
7:54terrible. It was awful. It was hell.
7:56Pure hell. But I mean, it had an ending.
8:00I mean, it ended. And I think that my
8:05desire to live and my my want to have
8:09happiness and and to do good in the
8:12world outweighed my
8:17trauma, my nightmares, my my fears. I
8:22think it just everything that I wanted
8:24outweighed what had happened.
8:28I guess I guess this work that you're
8:30involved in now is has to be cathartic
8:33in some way in in terms of
8:38uh because it's hard it's hard for we
8:41all get involved in good causes, you
8:44know, we all have our pet causes we want
8:47to be involved in, but none of us are
8:50motivated to those causes by something
8:52like what you went through.
8:55And so that's why I I I marvel at you
8:58saying that it compensates for the
9:02terrible thing that you went through
9:05being able to do this good. Help me
9:08understand how that balances out in your
9:13heart.
9:15Um, [sighs]
9:17I mean it it's been a it's been a
9:20process because when I first got home I
9:23I think I swore up and down that I was
9:25never going to write a book. I had never
9:27do a movie or a documentary. I didn't
9:29want to do any media. I didn't want to
9:30talk to anyone. I didn't want to see
9:32anyone. Um, isn't that ironic now?
9:36Yeah. [laughter]
9:38But there was a lot of shame and a lot
9:41of
9:42for no reason guilt associated to
9:45everything that happened. And so it took
9:48time to let that go because even though
9:51like logically I could reason it out in
9:53my mind and be like nothing that
9:55happened was my fault. I didn't do
9:57anything wrong. Um I could logically go
10:00through that. But being able to
10:03logically do that and emotionally be on
10:06the same page, I mean, that was
10:08different. It took time. It took a while
10:09for my emotions to catch up to a point
10:12where I could
10:14really say that, you know, these
10:16feelings of of guilt or shame or or, you
10:19know, sadness or pain. um they don't get
10:23in my way anymore and I could go back
10:28into these kinds of topics without them
10:31resurfacing. It took a while for that to
10:34happen. It didn't just happen overnight.
10:35I mean, it's it's 20 years now. So, it's
10:38it's been a long time.
10:40You're effectively changing the
10:41definition of who you are. I mean, it
10:47I don't know how anybody could avoid it.
10:49somebody who had gone through what you
10:51went through, it would define them. And
10:55what you've been able to do is change
10:57that definition.
10:59And now the work that you're involved
11:02in,
11:04help me to understand
11:08how much good you think you can do where
11:12you are.
11:13Well, when it was just me, I felt
11:16limited. I really did. But early earlier
11:19this year, uh, my foundation joined
11:23forces with the Maloof Foundation and
11:25now I feel like
11:28like the future is unlimited, if you
11:31will. Um, you know, I did not study
11:33nonprofit in school. I did not study
11:36business administration. I didn't study
11:39tax law or anything else that might be
11:42useful in this uh, kind of line of work
11:45and running a nonprofit. I didn't study
11:47any of that. I studied music
11:48performance. I mean,
11:49you still play in the heart.
11:51Um, my kids mostly see it as a big
11:54jungle gym, so [laughter]
11:55it's a little bit expensive. It's a
11:57little bit expensive for them to climb
11:59on. So,
12:00is it still tuned? Do you tune it
12:02like a few times a year?
12:04Yeah. Okay. All right.
12:05But there is a famous saying among
12:07harpists that you spend half your time
12:09tuning your harp and the other half of
12:10the time playing out of tune, which is
12:13true. So,
12:16but um no, so now where I'm at, where
12:19I've been able to merge with the Malu
12:22Foundation, I feel so much more
12:24possibility is ahead because we're
12:28working together and I feel like more
12:29people can always do more together than
12:31just one person on their own. So, so be
12:33specific about what what the the two
12:36foundations will be able to accomplish
12:39together that you were not able to do
12:42when you were apart.
12:44Well, I mean, there's just there's so
12:46much as I mentioned, I didn't study
12:48business or nonprofit or anything. So,
12:50honestly, it was me
12:53trying to figure out
12:55how things I was trying to learn it. I
12:58was trying to do it. And honestly, I'm
13:01not I'm not a business person. Um I
13:04don't know administration. I don't know
13:06all of the back stuff. I just know that
13:08I have a passion for good. And so
13:11joining with Maloof has been so
13:13incredible because now I get to do what
13:16I want. I mean, I'm able to bring up the
13:19issues that are important to me. For
13:21example, um just this past April, we uh
13:26it was Maloo's second uh summit,
13:29antisexual exploitation summit, but I
13:32was able to be involved in that and I
13:34was able to help plan it and I was able
13:36to say I think this person would be
13:38absolutely amazing to come in and speak
13:40on this topic. For instance, um I
13:43invited JC Duggard, I invited Dr.
13:45Rebecca Bailey to come out and we were
13:47able to sit down and have a panel, have
13:50a discussion on the difference between
13:53what Stockholm syndrome is and what
13:55appeasement is. Because most people have
13:57heard of fight or flight and freeze, but
14:01how many people have actually heard of
14:03appease? And that is actually a fourth
14:06natural response to to trauma or to fear
14:09or to um situations that you're not you
14:13just your body naturally reacts that you
14:15don't logically think it through. You
14:17just react. And there is that fourth
14:19element and that's I mean that's how I
14:21survived was that appeasement. Um that's
14:24how JC survived. So we were able to have
14:27this incredible conversation and so many
14:29people in the audience afterwards
14:30they're like I'd never even heard of
14:32that. And it's an opportunity for us to
14:34invite, you know, our state legislators,
14:37our policy makers, our business leaders,
14:39our our leaders in the community so that
14:41they can come and they can learn and
14:42they can hear directly from the source
14:44because it's one thing if you, you know,
14:46read about in a book. I mean, books can
14:48be incredibly compelling, but when you
14:50actually see someone in front of you
14:53telling you their story and really
14:55living it for you and you can have that,
14:58I mean, just face to face and almost
15:00emotional connection with this person as
15:02they're telling you what they
15:04experienced and how these actions have
15:07influenced the rest of their lives. It
15:09makes a difference. It makes a huge
15:11difference. And so that's something
15:13that, you know, I would have loved to
15:14have done on my own, but honestly, I
15:16would never have even known where to
15:18start.
15:19I'd have been like, okay, where should
15:21we do it?
15:23I don't know. [gasps]
15:24There there is there has there is a
15:26certain percentage of the population who
15:29is walking around uh having experienced
15:33sexual trauma
15:35uh and living with the the emotional
15:39consequences of that. How would they be
15:42able to access
15:44the good that is happening between the
15:46Smart and Maloo Foundations?
15:48Well, we have so uh my foundation, we
15:52started a podcast. I mean, this is our
15:54third season. We're launching at the
15:56beginning end of June. So, I mean,
15:58follow us, listen to our podcast. We
16:00have amazing people. Come on. um just
16:03incredible people, you know, survivors,
16:06um therapists,
16:07specialists, experts, um people who are
16:11also working in the field trying to make
16:12a difference. Um so that's one way.
16:15Follow us across our social media
16:16platforms. I mean me, like my personal
16:19page, I'm not the best at posting on. I
16:22will just come right out and say that
16:24it's not my favorite thing. But you know
16:26between the Elizabeth Smart Foundation
16:29social media, the Malo Foundation social
16:31media, they are they are up to date and
16:34they are current. You know, follow us on
16:36go check out our websites. Um we have
16:39another campaign that is so special to
16:42me, probably the most special to me is
16:45one we run every November. It's called
16:47We Believe You. Because I feel like
16:51really the difference for me and from
16:52what I've learned from other survivors
16:55in people's healing is whether or not
16:57they feel believed. If they feel like
16:59they're believed, they're able to go on
17:01and either report it to the police or at
17:04least find some help so that they're not
17:06carrying it all inside them. But when
17:07they aren't believed, then they kind of
17:10shut down and they carry it inside them.
17:12And it can quite literally destroy them
17:14from the inside out. you know they can
17:17end end up you know in selfharming they
17:21can turning to substance abuse I mean
17:23it's a really terrible road and so our
17:25November campaign is I mean it's really
17:29I want to say triple-edged if you will
17:32because we want these survivors to know
17:33that we believe them we invite everyone
17:35to you know to learn about it to take a
17:38pledge to take our online pledge I mean
17:40it's easy it's not hard um but it's just
17:43you know pledging to support and to love
17:45and to listen to survivors. Um, we want
17:48our survivors to know that there's a
17:49community there for them and that they
17:50will be believed. Uh, we want to educate
17:53the communities because you are taught
17:55so much safety in school. I mean, if you
17:58catch on fire, what do you do? You know,
18:00drop and roll.
18:01Stop, drop, and roll. Exactly. When
18:03you're about to cross the street, what
18:04do you do?
18:04Look both ways.
18:05Look both ways. Exactly. But what do you
18:07do if someone discloses abuse to you?
18:11Exactly. Nothing. And the sad truth is
18:14is that about every 70 seconds in
18:18America, someone is sexually abused.
18:20Every 9 minutes, it's a child. So that's
18:24a lot of people carrying around a lot of
18:27abuse. But this isn't I mean, I could be
18:30wrong, but as far as I know, there's not
18:33a person who stopped dropping and
18:34rolling every 70 seconds. I mean, maybe
18:38there is. I don't know
18:39who's keeping track,
18:40but I haven't come across a statistic
18:42like that.
18:43Yeah.
18:43But we're not really educated on how to
18:45respond. And so we want to help educate
18:48our communities and our friends and our
18:50families to know how to respond. So if
18:52someone does disclose to them that
18:55they're not just caught like a deer in
18:56the headlights thinking, I was not ready
18:59for this conversation. What how am I
19:01supposed to respond? And I mean, you're
19:04in media. You should know it's natural
19:06to be curious. It's natural to ask
19:08questions, but sometimes asking the
19:10wrong questions can be so damaging that
19:15it once again shuts that person right
19:17back down. So, it's educating, it's
19:21helping support these um survivors. And
19:24then also we have what's called the we
19:26believe you fund where all donations
19:29that we've taken in during November's in
19:32our past campaigns we've put into our we
19:35believe you fund which is basically a
19:37fund for survivors that
19:40may there's a lot of wonderful
19:42programming out there to help survivors
19:43but sometimes there are things there are
19:45finances that fall through the cracks.
19:47This is a fund to help finance those
19:51those expenses that fall through the
19:53cracks.
19:54Is there a way to measure how much good
19:58will be done over the coming years from
20:03your efforts and the Maloof Foundation's
20:05efforts?
20:06Is there a way to measure? [sighs]
20:10I
20:12don't have an answer. Shocking straight
20:14off the top of my head, but I would hope
20:16that in another 20 years from now that
20:20survivors aren't scared to speak out,
20:24that they aren't riddled with guilt and
20:25shame. Um, I hope that as a community,
20:30as a nation, that frankly globally, I
20:33hope that we are a little bit more
20:35compassionate and a little bit more
20:37supportive of those survivors who come
20:39forward and speak out. I hope that we
20:42begin to see a shift in numbers because
20:46not every rape is a brutal. I mean, I'm
20:52not saying every rape is terrible and
20:55I'm not speaking on behalf of victims
20:58currently. I'm like stepping outside of
21:00it because some rapes happen when from
21:04someone maybe that you love, a wife or
21:06husband, a boyfriend, but the way that
21:09they are trying to in be intimate
21:11actually ends up being forced and that
21:13is rape. whereas there are other rapes
21:16where it's, you know, brutally drugged
21:18into the bushes and, you know, beaten.
21:21And so there is a large gap of education
21:24that we can provide and that we can
21:25improve upon. And so I think that there
21:29is hope that we can see these numbers
21:31starting to come down as we educate
21:33more, as we speak more, as we as we move
21:36farther into the future. Well, and I
21:38guess the the measurement can only be
21:41made uh in in the lives of the people
21:45you touch. You know, are they able to
21:48return to productivity? Are they able to
21:50return to their families and loving
21:52relationships? Are they able to pattern
21:55or model or repeat what you have
21:59modeled? You know, that that I guess is
22:02the big fat question. You've probably
22:04thought about this over the last two
22:06decades uh and contemplated it, you
22:09know, as you drive quietly from place to
22:12place or play with your kids or, you
22:14know, spend time with your family.
22:18But what would you have been doing now
22:22if none of this had happened?
22:26I think some of it would be the same. I
22:29mean, I'm I'm a mom and that's what I
22:31always wanted to be. I think I'd still
22:33be a mom. Um,
22:36I would probably still be doing laundry
22:38and pulling weeds and making dinner and
22:42begging my kids to please make it to the
22:44toilet before they pull their pants
22:45[laughter] down.
22:47I imagine much of those much of my
22:49dayto-day day-to-day like menial
22:52activities would very much be the same.
22:54Um, on a bigger scale, I would love to
22:59think that I would care as deeply as I
23:01do. I would love to think that I would
23:04be as involved as I am. But honestly,
23:08I don't think I would because I would
23:11watch the news and I'd be like, "That is
23:12terrible. How can these terrible things
23:14happen in the world?" And I'd feel bad
23:16about it. And you know, I' like if there
23:20was a fundraiser going on, I'd probably
23:21gladly donate and then I'd go on and
23:24live my merry little life. Um, that's
23:27honestly what it would be. But my
23:30grandpa, he he
23:35not only lived his life this way, but
23:38he'd always tell us he'd he'd switch it
23:40to whatever context we were in in the
23:42moment, but he was always do more, say
23:46less. And I mean, if we were at the
23:48dinner table, he'd tell my brother, one
23:50brother in particular, who really liked
23:52to talk a lot when he was little, he'd
23:53say, "Eat more, talk less." Um, but that
23:58I feel like that advice has always um
24:02stuck in my mind and I've always wanted
24:03to be someone who was doing more and
24:07talking less, more go and less show.
24:13It it just seems to me that the horrific
24:16experience that you went through
24:19catapulted you in some perverse way
24:23down the spectrum of productivity
24:28in terms of helping other people who
24:31wind up in that same situation. And what
24:35a terrible price you had to pay to be
24:39able to help so many other people. Now,
24:43does it ever feel like that to you?
24:47Um,
24:51I could probably spend all day sitting
24:54here like saying that shouldn't have
24:55been me. Like I didn't deserve for it to
24:59happen. I didn't deserve for that to be
25:01my life. But the truth is is it did
25:04happen and it was me. So
25:08like it just doesn't really do a whole
25:10lot of good dwelling on things I can't
25:13change. So I might as well make the most
25:16of it. And if something good can come
25:17out of it, then good.
25:19Well, that's what I want. Elizabeth, I
25:21dare say that tremendous good because of
25:25you and whatever it is inside of you
25:29that has driven you forward that whether
25:31it's what your mom said or your grandpa
25:33said or the support system that has been
25:37present for you, whether it's your faith
25:40or whatever it has been. And maybe it's
25:43a combination of all of those things.
25:45you have done
25:48just an astounding job of turning this
25:52awful situation into something good that
25:55will bless the lives of millions of
25:57people who go through something similar
26:00and and for that I I I
26:05don't have the words
26:07I don't have the words and so thank you
26:11on behalf of anyone who winds
26:15needing
26:17the the blessing of your advice and your
26:21care and your influence in their lives
26:24because of what they experience. So
26:29we all stand in awe of you. We really
26:31really do.
26:32Well, thank you. I certainly feel very
26:35blessed and I mean I will never stop
26:37saying thank you to the people who have
26:39loved me and supported me and searched
26:42for me and supported my family. Like I
26:45will forever be grateful.

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