YT YouTube2Text

YouTube2Text → Transcripts → FREEDOM FROM ANXIETY: BUDDHIST MEDITATIONS THAT UNLOCK FEARLESSNESS

FREEDOM FROM ANXIETY: BUDDHIST MEDITATIONS THAT UNLOCK FEARLESSNESS — Transcript

by The Modern Buddhism Podcast · 11,900 words · 1,046 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

Open in transcriber Summarize with AI Download SRT/VTT

Full transcript

0:02And today I'm in conversation with Gen Kelsang Rabten.
0:05He's been studying, practicing and teaching meditation and Buddhism within the Kadampa
0:09Buddhist tradition for many years now, and living as a Buddhist monk for over 30 years.
0:14And in this amazing conversation, we really explore one of the challenges we all have.
0:18One of the things that our anxiety shows us is the superpower of our mind.
0:25If we harness that, what we can achieve and quite quickly is really extraordinary.
0:30I mean, it's just such incredible advice, really.
0:34What I previously thought was my weakness, the power of my mind to create my reality,
0:39it's now actually my strength, my superpower to create this whole new experience of reality
0:44free from anxiety.
0:46It's just the mind.
0:48And when we realize that, then we have a chance of winning.
0:58So again, Rabtan, thanks for dropping into the podcast today.
1:01I'm really looking forward to this conversation because I think there's so much in this topic
1:05that we're going to explore today that can be so helpful for so many people.
1:09It's a pleasure to be here.
1:10And I agree, I think this is a really, really important topic.
1:12It's going to help a lot of people.
1:14Exactly.
1:15So that's where we start today is this topic that we're exploring, as we both know, is
1:20around really how we can all learn to deal with anxiety and stress in a much healthier
1:25way than we're experiencing today.
1:28And in the world we're living in at the moment, anxiety is definitely on their eyes.
1:32People are experiencing this more and more and more and more consistently.
1:35And even if you're not the kind of person who's prone to high levels of anxiety in the
1:40world we live in and the lives we live, it's very easy for that anxiety to begin to ramp
1:44up in your life and feel quite stuck in it.
1:47So I guess that's what we really want to explore today, like really practical techniques that
1:51people can use in their everyday life to be able to turn to that anxiety without feeling
1:55overwhelmed by it, begin to deal with it in a healthier way and gradually over time to
2:00move beyond it more and more.
2:02So I guess that's where we start is really in the understanding of this kind of training
2:06using meditation, Buddhist timeless wisdom in everyday life, how would do we frame this
2:12understanding of anxiety?
2:14I think it's really important to recognise that anxiety affects people in different ways.
2:19It comes in different forms.
2:22It's unusual for people to be completely free from anxiety, but on the spectrum of the experience
2:28of it there is also really debilitating experiences of anxiety.
2:33We can be anxious about specific things.
2:37There can be specific triggers for our anxiety or it can be a much more generalised experience.
2:44But essentially what I believe we're talking about here is an uncontrolled fear.
2:51Fear in itself isn't necessarily a bad thing.
2:54Within the Buddhist meditation there are fears that we almost deliberately cultivate because
3:00they will then induce certain responses that are positive and effective, help us prepare
3:06better for challenging situations that are coming by sort of thinking ahead of time.
3:11But in the anxiety response it's an uncontrolled fear that isn't helping us.
3:18A lot of people will have for example social anxiety where they are worried, what will
3:23people think about me?
3:24What are people saying about me behind my back?
3:27And then almost in a sort of self-censoring way not enter into situations where they could
3:34get a lot of fulfilment and a lot of connection and that would be very healthy for them.
3:39But those fears are controlling them.
3:42They're not controlling the fear and empowering them at all.
3:44They are being controlled by those experiences.
3:49Medical anxieties, people might avoid seeking treatment until unfortunately whatever was
3:58there underlying has now become much more serious and much harder if not impossible
4:02to treat when it could have been dealt with perhaps quite easily.
4:06But that uncontrolled fear was governing their choices.
4:11And so understanding anxiety and its mechanisms is really, really helpful for us in terms
4:19of gradually being able to dismantle that.
4:22One of the main ways that anxiety works is by taking us out of the moment we're in.
4:29For example, imagining a future scenario.
4:33What if this happens?
4:34What if that happens?
4:36And imagining it so vividly that we're having the feelings of it now even though it hasn't
4:42happened, even though it might never happen.
4:46We worry more about things that never happened than things that in fact do.
4:52Quite often when the thing, if the thing ever does actually eventuate, we're much better
4:59equipped to deal with it because now we're in a doing mode.
5:02But the anxiety is projecting us into a future that hasn't happened.
5:07So we can't necessarily do anything about it except just worry and be paralyzed.
5:13Similarly, sometimes the anxiety is a burden that we're carrying into the present from
5:20a past.
5:21Now, we might have, as many people have, experienced quite traumatic things in earlier life or
5:28in childhood to which we developed certain coping mechanisms, certain mental strategies
5:36that perhaps were needed then or useful perhaps then that are no longer appropriate.
5:44We might find ourselves in a present where we're being much too aggressive or we're being
5:50much too distrusting of the people around us.
5:53People are genuinely showing us an affection that perhaps we could trust.
5:57But because of this sort of trauma response that we've carried from the past, we are reacting
6:02in a way that can be quite toxic and undermining of our present relationships.
6:09And so at the most basic level, the foundation techniques that we use to help us address
6:14our anxiety are simple meditations like the meditation on the breath where we're gathering
6:19our self into the present.
6:21We're practicing being present.
6:24We can observe the physical sensations of our body, the sensations of the breath as it enters
6:29and leaves, and we're just anchoring our self into the moment we're in.
6:34And that obviously takes some practice.
6:36But with a bit of effort, with a bit of consistency in practice, we will find that we are able
6:42to just tone down, like turn down a bit of the volume of those intrusive anxious thoughts
6:48because we're more present in the moment we're in.
6:51We're a little bit taking away the energy from those imagined horrors for the future
6:58or a little bit more able to let go of a past that doesn't exist in the present.
7:05That's a sort of a general overview, I think, of anxiety as uncontrolled fear and some of
7:10the mechanisms that are inducing it.
7:14And I guess what that opens up for somebody listening today is a lot of people are obviously
7:20understandably feeling that actually the reason I'm anxious is what's happening in the world.
7:24It's what's happening at work.
7:25It's what's happening in my relationship.
7:28That's what's inducing my anxiety, my fear.
7:31But actually in reality, what we're pointing to here is it's all coming from how we're
7:35perceiving things, how we perceive the past, how we still relate to the past, how because
7:41of how difficult that past was and maybe we didn't have the tools to begin to, such as
7:46meditation to work through it, let go of it, it's still inducing this quite intense anxiety
7:51when we meet similar kind of situations that trigger that tendency.
7:56Or when we're looking to the future, we're thinking it's this situation in the world
7:59and what's going to happen in the world, actually it's the response in the mind at that time.
8:04And so what I find endlessly helpful and liberating about that is for everyone listening, it's
8:10like, okay, so that's where we're at today and we're looking at the world in this way
8:14and we think that's the problem.
8:15But actually when we begin to explore it in the way that you're explaining clearly there,
8:20we begin to understand now the anxiety is coming from how I'm perceiving things, how
8:24I'm relating to things.
8:26And that's the one thing in this out of control world that we can gradually begin to control
8:32because at the moment we're experiencing this uncontrolled mind, this fear and anxiety that
8:37arises.
8:38But what most people think is that's the one thing I can't control.
8:42But what you're saying is actually through this, we open a door even through simple breathing
8:47meditation to bring our mind fully into the present and then we can begin to start to
8:52see I can control my response, I can control my mind.
8:56I mean I'm reminded of one of the most powerful quotes that for me anyway moves my heart every
9:00time I think about it.
9:01It's in the book Living Meaningfully, Dying Joyfully where Geshe Kelsang talks about this.
9:06He says, "When we learn to control the mind through correct meditation, we overcome all
9:13fear and anxiety."
9:16Because when we really think about that deeply, that's incredibly liberating because we feel
9:21our mind is out of control, there's nothing I can do.
9:23And he says, "Why is this so?"
9:25He says, "Because all fear comes from the untamed mind."
9:28So even what you're describing as an entry point with breathing meditation is moving
9:34towards understanding what correct meditation is.
9:36And so as you begin to engage in a practice like that, you're beginning to tame that uncontrolled
9:42fear and anxiety that we're experiencing and at least you're opening the door to seeing
9:46a better way forward.
9:48I think it's incredibly empowering to know or to at least hear, even if we can't fully
9:56accept it for a long time, that it is possible to arrive at a fearless state, a state completely
10:02beyond anxiety.
10:04When we suffer from anxiety, particularly if it's quite severe, it is initially very
10:10difficult to imagine not experiencing that in the kind of situations that we find triggering.
10:17It is absolutely possible, but it is quite a journey.
10:20I think there are many, many steps along the way.
10:24And I do think along that journey, we learn some really valuable insights.
10:33Something I imagine many people suffering from anxiety will recognize and relate to
10:39is that there certainly there is a stage, there is moments of anxiety where we very
10:44firmly believe it's because of this or this that's happening to me.
10:49But one of the mechanisms of anxiety that's very common is this sort of closed loop that
10:55happens where there's a situation, we find it triggering, we can feel that anxiety rising
11:01within us.
11:03And then our anxiety switches from being so much about that situation to being about the
11:09anxiety itself.
11:11We're anxious about our anxiety.
11:13We're worried.
11:15What is this going to make me do?
11:16Am I going to pass out?
11:18Am I going to or in a panic attack situation, we might think, am I going to have a heart
11:22attack or we might think, am I going to just run out of the room and embarrass myself?
11:26Am I going to just blurt out something that I won't be able to take back?
11:31And we start to become anxious about the anxiety.
11:35And that's now a closed loop, which is a very difficult thing to get out of because it's
11:40no longer about the situation anymore.
11:44It's about entirely what's happening inside.
11:48And that's where one of our fundamental practices is so, so helpful, which is about becoming
11:56more comfortable with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
12:01The anxiety mechanism isn't going to disappear overnight.
12:06And so we build a basic kind of background or foundation of the breathing techniques
12:14and so forth.
12:16Then we can start to introduce these more observational techniques.
12:21One of the things in Buddhism is the first thing to do is do nothing at all.
12:24Just watch, pay attention, see what's actually happening.
12:30Sometimes just this exercise alone, and I'll describe how we do it in a moment, but sometimes
12:35just this exercise alone frees us from that loop, from that closed loop mechanism.
12:43I'm reminded of, I think it was an Instagram reel or something that I saw one time and
12:49it was a little boy.
12:50He was in a swimming pool and he was screaming for his life.
12:56He was flailing around in the water and clearly in great distress.
13:03And he was laughing, which you might think was a little bit callous.
13:08But eventually this child is wailing for help, finally gives up and you can see it's like,
13:13that's it, I'm drowning.
13:15And then his feet hit the ground and he's waist high in water and there was no chance
13:19he was ever going to drown.
13:20And the parents or the adults around him were just laughing because there was no danger.
13:25There was no danger.
13:28And sometimes our anxiety mechanism is like that.
13:31The situation isn't nearly as bad as the imagined.
13:36It's like the echo in a cave or a shadow that frightens us on a street.
13:40There isn't actually a basis for the degree of fear that we're having, but our anxious
13:47mind isn't letting us check how dangerous is the situation I'm in.
13:52It's not letting us take our feet to the bottom just to see, can I touch the bottom of the
13:56pool?
13:57And so one of our first mechanisms is stop and just look what's happening.
14:03And Geshe Kelsang gives this incredibly practical way of looking at our mind.
14:10He describes the mind as a sky and the various thoughts and feelings that arise within it
14:16as clouds, perhaps sometimes storm clouds.
14:19They might be raging thunder and lightning storm clouds.
14:24But that way of relating to our thoughts and feelings, our anxious thoughts and feelings,
14:28is recapturing the power.
14:33He gives us a little change of description, this change of the way of framing the situation
14:38to ourselves.
14:39So rather than saying to ourselves, I am anxious, I am anxious, which is basically I equals
14:47anxiety.
14:48In that way of framing it, we are inside the anxiety and all there is, we are completely
14:55immersed, consumed and subsumed into the anxiety.
14:58There's no perspective on that experience at all.
15:02Instead of that, we try to frame it anxious thoughts and feelings arising within my mind.
15:10Like a storm cloud in the sky, there's room for it.
15:14And no matter how fierce the storm is, it's never going to destroy the sky.
15:19And it takes a little while to get into that sort of observer mindset.
15:25And it's an exercise we can do when there's nothing wrong, when we're not feeling anxious.
15:30We can just take time from time to time to look what thoughts and feelings are arising,
15:34get used to observing our experience in that way.
15:38And then when we need to, it will be to hand.
15:40We can call upon it.
15:41We can observe.
15:42Yes, there are anxious thoughts and feelings.
15:45We're not pretending that they're not there.
15:47We're not trying to push them down or immediately stop them.
15:51We're allowing their presence.
15:53But we're just in a state of being.
15:55Yes, there are anxious thoughts and feelings.
15:57But we feel like the sky.
16:01Do you know what's so powerful about that is it's for someone who's struggling with
16:06anxiety today, when they identify the anxiety within the mind, of course, they will be able
16:12to see it.
16:13And they will say, understandably so, that immediately when I identify it, I'm identified
16:18with it.
16:19And therefore the last thing I want to do is look at it and begin to explore it.
16:24But as you say in this observational approach, what's pivotal in this is what you said at
16:28the beginning.
16:30The whole idea of this is that one of the reasons we get so anxious is because of the
16:34way our minds are hardwired at the moment for most of us is we get very closely involved
16:40with the situation as soon as we bring it to mind.
16:43And then we lose that mental balance, that mental equilibrium.
16:46But even a simple breathing meditation will gradually slowly establish that sense of mental
16:51balance and equilibrium will give you the space in the mind to feel that slightly more
16:56sky like nature of the mind.
16:57So it's important for everyone listening is that that aspect that you made very clear
17:02at the beginning, we start to prepare ourselves through a simple breathing meditation.
17:06So there's something you can do from today.
17:09And if you're doing that every day, and you're getting more familiar with it, and you're
17:12improving your concentration and that respect, you will create this space in the mind to
17:17create what you're explaining there, which is just this observational approach.
17:22Now I can identify the thunderous clouds even of anxiety arising in the mind, but there's
17:26just enough space to begin to think, okay, instead of Oh, no, how interesting.
17:34Here it is again.
17:35But now I have opened a little door in my heart to begin to explore this look at it
17:39with wisdom, because I'm identifying with it now.
17:42But I'm sorry, I'm identifying it, but I'm not feeling deeply identified with it.
17:47And so these simple steps we can take at the beginning puts us in a space now where we
17:52can begin to explore it.
17:54And I guess that's really what we're beginning to open the door to.
17:58And an absolutely that is one of the things I have always loved and most loved about Buddhist
18:05teachings, and the Buddhist techniques, is that we examine what's happening inside of
18:13ourself to understand the mechanisms within us.
18:16And I know full well from my own experience and other things that that can initially be
18:22confronting.
18:24Sometimes we want to hide from what's going on inside of ourselves.
18:28But whenever we do these kind of exercises and get a bit more transparent to ourselves,
18:36the power those thoughts and feelings have over us massively diminishes.
18:41You know, it's a little bit like if we were director of a horror film, you don't show
18:47the monster for as long as possible, because the moment the audience sees the monster,
18:52they're like, Oh, is that it?
18:54When it's in the shadows, when it's a scream, when it's a noise, that creates the fear.
18:59But when we look at it straight on in full, in full light, it's like, Oh, that's just
19:03some CGI or that's just some red rubber.
19:05It's not, it's not that frightening.
19:07So that point about looking at what our mind is doing, that's the avenue where we start
19:16to make a lot more progress in dismantling this mechanism.
19:20One of the main mechanisms that induces our anxiety is a tunnel vision, where only one
19:29outcome is acceptable to us.
19:33I have to pass this exam.
19:35I have to get well again.
19:36I have to get to this airport on time.
19:39I have to.
19:41Only one outcome is acceptable.
19:44And that is as perfect a breeding ground for anxiety as there could possibly be.
19:50Because the one thing that we know about life is that there is no certainty.
19:53We can't control these variables.
19:55We can't guarantee that it's going to turn out how we want.
19:59And if only one of the many, many possible outcomes is acceptable, we're going to be
20:04fraught.
20:05We are, of course, going to be anxious.
20:08And so observing that mechanism, and I'll give some practical examples from my own experience.
20:15Hopefully that will be useful.
20:18If we can see that that's what the mind is doing to ourself, and that's where the anxiety
20:22is coming from, then we can consciously see, can I broaden the palette?
20:29Can I broaden the options?
20:30Can there be a plan B that's OK?
20:32A plan C?
20:33A plan D?
20:34Ideally, eventually, the ultimate outcome of this is that whatever happens is OK.
20:39That's the kind of elite level of freedom of the mind, where whatever turns out is fine.
20:45So I've been very fortunate in my time as a monk and as a teacher that I've been given
20:51some quite exciting projects, where we've tried to build temples and Buddhist centers
20:58and so forth.
21:01And in those times, as rewarding and enjoyable and so forth, fulfilling as they are, that's
21:07the moments where I see the parts of my mind that haven't yet been properly worked on and
21:14properly kind of figured out or whatever.
21:18So there have been times where my mind has got incredibly stressed and anxious.
21:24Building work is not my thing.
21:28I'm not naturally given to DIY.
21:31But working on a big building project in Australia one time, we've got a team of volunteers, and
21:39we've got quite a tight deadline, quite a tight budget.
21:41We're trying to do as much of the work as we possibly can ourselves.
21:45For example, the thing that always comes to my mind when I remember it is the days we
21:48had rented some big serious tools with some demolition saws.
21:53I don't know if you ever handled a demolition saw, but it's basically like an angle grinder.
21:56But the blade is the size of an old vinyl LP.
22:00It's got teeth that are bigger than a shark's teeth.
22:03And it's wearing.
22:04It's a cutting tool that's designed to go through concrete, to go through steel.
22:09It'll slice through a wall like nobody's business.
22:11And you can't help thinking that could go through a limb pretty easily.
22:15And obviously it's got all sorts of safety mechanisms.
22:18Obviously we're doing all the health and safety checks and everything like that.
22:21But nonetheless, it's quite a sort of pressurized environment.
22:25Not to say that an environment or a situation induces anxiety, because if the mind is right,
22:30we're free in any situation.
22:32But there's a certain amount of pressure there.
22:35And I was noticing as the project manager for this, that my mind was quite tight.
22:43There's quite a lot of anxiety about this.
22:46What might happen to myself?
22:47What might happen to the other workers?
22:49What might happen about the project?
22:51Is this going to get done on time?
22:55And so I decided, partly because as a Buddhist monk, my main job description is be calm.
23:00And I wasn't sure I was doing a great job of that.
23:02So I have to sort this out.
23:03I have to try to be a good example in this setting.
23:07And so I get up, you know, we were working pretty much dawn till dusk every day and a
23:12bit longer.
23:13I got up earlier just to spend some time trying to prepare my mind.
23:17And I was asking myself, why am I finding this so stressful?
23:23Why is so much anxiety coming up around this project?
23:28And the first thing that my mind said was, because this is for everyone.
23:36I'd had some meetings with various people and Ven.
23:38Geshara and so forth.
23:40And a lot have been said about how important this project was.
23:44And I was thinking, this is for everyone.
23:47If this project works and many people come and receive teachings and it will change lots
23:51of people's lives.
23:53And luckily, I've been around Buddhist teachings for a long time.
23:56And I could tell myself, no, you're lying.
23:58This is not about other people.
24:00Compassion doesn't induce anxiety.
24:04The thing that induces anxiety is the ego.
24:07Clearly I have a stake in the game.
24:08Clearly my mind, my reputation is on the line.
24:12People know about this project.
24:13Is rapture going to succeed?
24:15Is rapture going to fail?
24:16And that's where the anxiety at a deep level is coming from.
24:20And so having identified this tunnel vision, I need this to turn out on budget, on time.
24:26It needs to be a big success.
24:28And observing my mind mechanism, the reputation that's at stake.
24:33Then I can do a meditation which diffuses that.
24:39And the meditations that I tried to do were meditations on the faults of success and the
24:45benefits of failure.
24:48And we can look at that from an external point of view.
24:50In general, the faults of success, we get promoted to the level of our incompetence.
24:55I think most people in a work environment know that you do a good job, you get a harder
24:59job.
25:00You do good at that, you get a harder...
25:01Eventually, we might have loved it at the beginning and then sooner or later, we feel
25:03like we're drowning in a way that we can't handle.
25:06So there's that external side.
25:08But there's also an internal side, which is much more, I think, significant in this context,
25:14which is that in general, when we succeed, our ego inflates, our pride inflates.
25:20And pride is such a damaging thing on the spiritual journey.
25:24It's like this slow suffocation, asphyxiation of our spiritual growth.
25:30When we're new, when we first start, our heart is open.
25:33We don't have any, "I know this, I know that, I've already done this."
25:38We just absorb wisdom and blessings and insight and we practice with a real need and we may
25:44get enormous leaps and bounds.
25:46And quite often after a while, that starts to plateau out.
25:50Not because there isn't more progress to be made, but that sort of pride somehow has crept
25:53in and it's starting to a little bit block the blessings and the wisdom.
25:58And so the faults of success, there's the external faults, but the internal faults is
26:03there's a real risk that the ego grows and becomes a barrier, an obstacle.
26:09The benefits of failure, again, external, there are benefits to failure externally.
26:12You kind of get left alone and put out to pasture and that's quite enjoyable.
26:16But internally, the benefits of failure is often that's the only way to humble the mind.
26:26When we do fail, it's painful, of course, but very often that's the moment where we
26:33reset and we realize, "Oh no, I still have work to do.
26:36I'm not that person that my ego kind of bought into.
26:40I've got work to do."
26:42And Venmo Geshra says, "We are as likely," I'd imagine what he's really saying is more
26:47likely, "but as likely to learn from our failures as our successes."
26:51And certainly that's been certainly my experience.
26:55A lot of things happen and it helps the mind be more humble.
26:59It helps the mind be more aware and empathetic of others because we realize, "No, I messed
27:04that up."
27:05We can't judge people when the taste of our own failures are so fresh in our mind.
27:12And so then having been through that exercise, the faults of success, the benefits of failure,
27:18then the ego relaxes.
27:19I don't need this to turn out this way.
27:22If it turns out that way, okay.
27:24If it turns out that way, okay, I can find a way to make that useful.
27:29And then there's room in the mind to think, "Well, then why am I going to try?
27:33Why am I going to get up, work from dawn till dusk again and again?"
27:37And then there's room to be motivated by a genuine compassion and that suddenly makes
27:42everything flow.
27:44So of course, the example of working on a project of a Buddhist temple or a Buddhist
27:48center may not resonate for everyone, but the mechanism there of tunnel vision, of the
27:55mind getting caught in only one acceptable outcome, and then realizing I can be creative,
28:00I can think other options and find a way to fold them into the healthy, positive life
28:08that I want.
28:09I think that has a real value.
28:12I mean, it has such value and in the way you've described it there, anyone who's listening
28:16is thinking, "Actually, what I normally think is this anxiety will pacify if I succeed in
28:22this project or this venture."
28:24And so we seek success, partly also driven by our anxious mind and our identifying with
28:30that anxiety, "I'm never going to let go of this until I succeed."
28:34And actually failure is why I'm anxious.
28:37And when you reframe it inside this wisdom context like you're talking about, actually
28:42you're very likely to be able to create the conditions to become increasingly free from
28:45anxiety if you allow yourself to be open to the possibility and sometimes the likelihood
28:50of failure because then it creates a space in your heart and your mind to allow that
28:55humility to come.
28:57And in this case now I'm open to learning.
28:59I'm open to learning a different way forward, whereas as you say, but success often for
29:03many of us does come certainly in my experience in the past and very much so that your ego
29:08intensifies, your pride increases.
29:11If your pride increases, guaranteed your anxiety is going to increase with it.
29:16As they say, pride comes before a fall and often that not necessarily that external success
29:22leads to an intensified ego and a lot of pride.
29:25It just depends on where you come from.
29:27But if we do it this way and we reframe it inside this wisdom context, if I fail, it
29:33opens the door to humility.
29:35If it opens the door to humility, I'm open to learning from my failures.
29:38I'm open to learning a better way of dealing with it.
29:41And actually that's success.
29:43That's real success, especially for somebody who wants to become increasingly free of anxiety,
29:47because then we can learn the methods, we can learn to work with it in a healthier way,
29:50we can get rid of this tunnel vision approach to life and just open our hearts to the many
29:54different possibilities that could come.
29:57And therefore we're beginning to every time through those failures actually become stronger,
30:01more resilient, less anxious.
30:04Absolutely.
30:05And I think the Buddhist response to anxiety, the thing that's healing the mechanism is
30:13really shifting perspective.
30:16And there are teachings where people went to Buddha, you know, anxiety, although it's
30:20so prevalent in the modern age and fueled, I think, by a lot of the social media and
30:25devices and the weight and the new cycle, there are many things perhaps now that are
30:29amplifying it more than in the past, but it's not a new thing.
30:33And so people would go to Buddha and they would express their experiences, their feelings,
30:38their anxieties and ask Buddha, what meditation could I do?
30:42And there are many texts and there's many references to this in Geshe Kelsang's books
30:48where Buddha would say the best meditation, the best meditation for dealing with anxiety.
30:56And it's not what people are going to imagine.
30:59And so I'm going to, I want to give a bit of space to this just to address the fears
31:03because the meditation that Buddha suggested is the meditation on death.
31:10And a lot of people quite reasonably might say, well, hang on a minute, that's the main
31:13thing I'm anxious about.
31:15That's that's what's driving my anxiety.
31:17I'm anxious about death and dying.
31:20And now you're telling me to think about it more.
31:22That's crazy.
31:24And a lot of people do have this idea that thinking about death is morbid.
31:29But I can't imagine anything more life affirming.
31:32The one certainty in our life is that we're going to die.
31:36And if we hide from that, if we pretend that that's not going to happen, then each moment
31:42of our life is probably left a little bit unlived.
31:46And when death inevitably does come for ourself or for others, we don't know what to do.
31:51We're unprepared for the one certainty that there ever was.
31:55There's a story Geshe Kelsang tells, which I think really helps to convey how thinking
32:01about death is an incredibly healthy thing to do and how it's quite a natural part of
32:08living a good life.
32:10And so he tells this story of a child going to the beach and digging and making a little
32:17sandcastle, a little moat, and is loving it.
32:21Maybe they're adorning it.
32:22It's the first time they've been at the beach the first time.
32:24And they've invested so much creativity and energy into this magnificent palace.
32:30And then of course, inevitably at a certain point, the tide changes, the water is coming
32:34in and the child realizes the tide, the water is going to take away my castle.
32:43And there's an anxiety response.
32:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
32:48And maybe they turn to the parents with these sort of like needy looks and the parent might
32:52be flattered.
32:53I love the fact that you think I'm that powerful, but I cannot turn back the tide for you.
32:57And so inevitably the water comes and it washes away their creation.
33:00Maybe there's floods of tears, maybe, you know, all of that carries on.
33:05And it's a big, it's a big nightmare disaster day.
33:09But quite possibly the next weekend, the same child is at the beach again, digging a sandcastle,
33:16a little bit better this time.
33:17They've got a bit more practice.
33:18Shells are adorning things.
33:20They've even brought some Star Wars figures and they're putting them in.
33:22Who knows?
33:24They've invested just as much.
33:25They're having just as much fun.
33:27But this time when the wave comes, they always knew it was coming.
33:31They always knew.
33:33And so it becomes almost part of the enjoyment.
33:35Like now it's just washing away.
33:37There was this, there was this creation that dissolved.
33:40And now the child is in tune with the natural cycle of things and is able to enjoy it.
33:47And that's the kind of flavor that we can get in our life when we start to think about
33:52our own death a lot.
33:54Now, I was recently in Hong Kong and one of the students who came to, there's a big Buddhist
34:02festival there.
34:03And she wanted to tell me about her mother's passing.
34:07Her mother had passed a few months before.
34:09Her mother was a very, very devout Buddhist.
34:11Her whole life she had spent praying to Guan Yin or Avalokiteshvara, the Buddha of compassion.
34:18And the way she died was so inspiring to her daughter.
34:23She was literally on her deathbed and her daughter was there a little worried.
34:25And she would just say to her, it's okay.
34:28I am so ready.
34:29I am so prepared.
34:31There's nothing to worry about.
34:33I am going into the embrace of Guan Yin, the Buddha of compassion.
34:36I'm going to the pure.
34:38It's all fine.
34:39So the mother who was dying was able to pacify and reassure the child.
34:48And I think if whoever has thought about death a lot will find that they have a superpower
34:55in those moments, which can be the most painful and uncomfortable moments.
34:59Let's say we're the child and it's our parent who's facing their death.
35:04For parents, I think it can be incredibly difficult to die because the sense of responsibility
35:11that comes from bringing a child into the world is huge.
35:15You know, like my own mother, you know, I won't say how old she is.
35:18I'm not sure she'd appreciate that.
35:19But you know, she's, I'm getting old, so she therefore must also a little bit be.
35:25But she's still looking out for me.
35:26She's still, you know, she's calling me up and checking.
35:29Are you eating right?
35:30Are you resting well?
35:31Are you exercising?
35:32The sense of responsibility is huge.
35:34And I think for a lot of parents on their deathbed, they feel I can't go.
35:41This is a big job.
35:45But if from the side of the child, probably the adult child at this stage, they're able
35:50to almost give permission, not necessarily verbally.
35:54So sometimes that can be a beautiful thing to say, but to communicate by the mindset
35:59that we're in, we're going to be okay.
36:02You've done a great job.
36:03You've raised us well.
36:05You've given us what we needed.
36:06We're going to be okay.
36:08This is your time now.
36:09You can, whenever it's right for you, just let go.
36:11You've done a great job.
36:13And that can help that person just gently relax and let go.
36:21And then equally, as I was saying with the story of this woman in Hong Kong, when it's
36:25our turn to die, if we can be in that place where we're okay with it, the peace that we
36:31can give the family that might be worried about us is enormous.
36:35And the example that we're setting is such a powerful teaching.
36:39These things don't happen by accident.
36:41Like a lot of people think, oh, I'm not afraid of death and fine, fine, fine.
36:45I think we know from having tried to spend a lot of time really sitting with it, there
36:49is a moment where it's quite confronting and there is time where we have to work through
36:53these quite deep truths.
36:54But the reward at the end of that is enormous.
36:58And then specifically with respect to anxiety, what our anxiety always does is it zooms in,
37:07it amplifies, it exaggerates.
37:08It doesn't feel like that, that that's the mechanism, but that is what's happening.
37:14Our life can feel a little bit like a soap opera, like a drama of the week where we lurch
37:18from one serious situation to another serious situation.
37:22And if we could bring in death awareness, realizing I'm going to disappear, I'm going
37:30to leave all of this behind.
37:33Most of the things that our anxiety kind of hooks onto, people's opinions of us.
37:38And so forth.
37:39Whereas when I go, when I'm on my deathbed and beyond, it's really not going to matter.
37:46It's really not going to matter.
37:48And this can come in as a sort of gentle calmness.
37:53Or also we can use this as a sort of emergency release from our anxiety in the same way that
37:59the breathing meditation can be an emergency anchoring.
38:03The mind has got caught up in the past or the future into the present.
38:07To be present.
38:10We can start to use something a bit more powerful like death as that.
38:13You know, when I was first appointed to be a teacher at a bigger Buddhist center, I had
38:20a couple of years at a quite small center.
38:22And then I was asked to be the main teacher at a big center.
38:26And I did find it quite overwhelming initially, or at times anyway.
38:32And the thing that really helped me when I noticed this sense of pressure or anxiety,
38:37what I would do, my sort of default was just, I would stop for a moment and think, maybe
38:44I'm dying now.
38:48Maybe this is it.
38:50And that, it's a little bit like a slap in the face.
38:52But what it does is it really clarifies.
38:55If I am dying now, and you know, it's a bit of an act of imagination, but at the same
39:00time death is uncertain.
39:02We could die at any moment, we don't know.
39:03Like it may have felt a little bit unlikely at the time.
39:05But nonetheless, I can think maybe this is it.
39:08And if this is it, I don't need to worry about that.
39:12I don't need to worry about that.
39:13There's this sort of clearing of the mind that happens.
39:16What's important, what's not important.
39:18What's important is my stillness.
39:21Where am I at?
39:22Who am I?
39:23What kind of being am I bringing into this world and will I carry into my next world?
39:28And it's incredibly effective to just clarify what matters and what doesn't matter and just
39:33get still.
39:35And a minute of that then allows the mind to go back to whatever was going on.
39:41But now with a sort of a wiser approach where it's not the, I have to make this turn out
39:47this way or I have to make this turn out that way.
39:50It's I have to be the best version of myself for these people in this situation.
39:54Even if I can't fix it, even if it still falls apart, I need to try to be the best version
39:59because that's what matters for me.
40:02And that's the best benefit I can bring to them.
40:04And that meditation on death makes that so, so much easier.
40:10And it's so true because when we're thinking about that, when anyone's listening today
40:15is thinking about that, it's often the very thing that we all avoid, as you say, it's
40:19we're avoiding ever thinking about death because that seems to be seriously amplify the anxiety
40:26I already have with respect to everything else because I just don't feel prepared.
40:31I don't feel prepared in any way for that.
40:33So I really don't want to think about that.
40:36But the irony is when you think about that, you start to prepare yourself for that.
40:40So how I leave this life is really how I've lived this life.
40:43And if you think at some level in your heart gradually over time through familiarity with
40:47that meditation, or just that increasing mindfulness of that reality in daily life, this could
40:52be my last day.
40:55Well if this really was my last day, how would I like to live it differently?
40:59One I wouldn't be one to have so much anxiety and worrying about a future or tomorrow that
41:02may never come.
41:04I want to bring everything into the present into this day, actually to be more precise
41:08into this present moment because I may only have this moment.
41:11Okay, so I'm going to try my best to live from a peaceful mind and a good heart.
41:16Because what I can discover over time through this kind of training, that's what brings
41:20us the deepest peace and happiness.
41:22In this moment and in the last moment, that will always bring us the deepest peace and
41:26happiness.
41:27So as you say, the thing that everyone's avoiding thinking about, death, because we think it's
41:32just going to add to our anxiety, it's actually profoundly liberating.
41:36And also we start to liberate ourselves from so many of the things that bother our minds,
41:40what people think about us.
41:42All of the various things we're thinking about the future, have enough wealth, have enough
41:45fortune to really protect me in the future.
41:48Not saying that you shouldn't prepare for that.
41:50I'm just saying you shouldn't be so worried and anxious about that situation because it
41:55may never come.
41:57I remember this actually just reminded me of a story.
42:00I was in Spain with my parents once and it was this gentleman who had like a quite a
42:04large pension.
42:05And at the time I met him, I think he may have been in his 70s or something, but there
42:10was some hitch with the pension and he couldn't release it.
42:13I don't know what it was, some technical hitch, he couldn't get the pension.
42:15So he said, this has been going on for a few years now.
42:18He said, I'm getting to that point where I think I'll probably never see this pension
42:21because I don't have that many years left to live.
42:24And he was spending a lot of the time worrying about this, anxious about this.
42:28But that one point that actually may not be around to have this.
42:32So it's not that we don't prepare for the future, but just give yourself a break.
42:36Stop worrying about a future that may never come and just pay attention to the present,
42:40do the best you can here and now.
42:42But I do think that's also that, that deepening understanding of I may die today.
42:47This may be my last day, so I'm going to live my best day today.
42:50Not only does it reduce anxiety around that general situation, but also it liberates us
42:54from so many of the concerns that bother us and induce anxiety, what people think and
42:58so forth.
43:01And my, you know, like I've had some various anxieties in my teaching role and so forth,
43:09public speaking and all these different things.
43:10But one of my main anxieties since I was a child is like a medical, a medical phobia
43:15I've had.
43:16And thinking, I recently had a medical procedure, not very significant, but it was general anesthetic.
43:23And you know, you never know what's going to turn out there.
43:25And it did involve doctors and syringes and all sorts of stuff like that.
43:30And the, the thing that really helped me because I'd been going through a phase of doing a
43:36lot of this meditation on death.
43:38And in particular, the Buddhist way of doing the meditation on death is not so much just
43:43thinking about death from the point of view of this life, which I think for a lot of people
43:46that's perhaps where we start.
43:48But obviously as Buddhists, we believe that we are spiritual beings.
43:51We journey from life to life to life.
43:53And so death is not a final end.
43:57It's only a separation of the body and mind and the mind like a bird leaving one nest
44:01to travel to another, flies from this life to another, guided by our karma and so forth.
44:09And so in preparing for this procedure, what my mind was mostly thinking about is, you
44:15know, who knows what's happening?
44:17Where will my mind go?
44:19And because of that, because of being in that framework, then lots of things that I know
44:24if, you know, many years ago, if that happened, would have been really quite traumatizing
44:29or anxiety inducing.
44:31We're just really like, okay, I've already, my mind is already almost in another life
44:36anyway.
44:37And I'm just trying to make sure that it travels in the most beautiful way.
44:40So there was a sort of, so I think these things are incredibly helpful.
44:46And you're talking about how we can think I'm not ready, I'm not prepared.
44:53One of the things that our anxiety shows us is the superpower of our mind.
45:00You know, I know from my own experience, you know, I mentioned that that medical phobia,
45:04that with anxiety, a lot of us can feel ashamed, we can feel a bit broken or inadequate, less
45:09than and yet, our anxiety is showing us the power of our mind.
45:18It's showing us how powerful our imagination is.
45:22Our imagination, unfortunately, in the context of anxiety is working against us.
45:27But nonetheless, everyone who has suffered from anxiety knows full well the power of
45:31the mind.
45:32If we harness that and turn it to our advantage, what we can achieve and quite quickly is really
45:39extraordinary.
45:40So for example, one of the one of the main manifestations of anxiety that I imagine lots
45:47of people listening will have had at some point or another is the anxiety dream.
45:51One of my roles, one of the responsibilities I had for quite a long time was the managing
45:58the kitchen at the Buddhist festivals that we organize.
46:01So thousands of people gather and obviously they need feeding.
46:04Someone's got to be in charge of that.
46:06For many years, I was the kitchen manager.
46:09These days, there's a lot of reality shows and even drama shows about kitchens.
46:13And so people have a sense that it's quite a pressurized environment.
46:17The kitchen is a little bit bigger than this room, but not much bigger.
46:20The equipment in it is fantastic, but it's not modern.
46:24It's not state of the art.
46:26And we have I remember one festival in particular where we were catering for we were producing
46:31two and a half thousand meals three times a day, which is in itself quite a lot, especially
46:35from a small room with with with limited equipment.
46:39But also everyone in the team is coming along to attend the festival.
46:45Everyone's a volunteer.
46:46You know, no one's being paid to do this.
46:48We're volunteering.
46:49And so everyone's also going to the teaching.
46:51So from the 11 to 1230, the kitchen's empty.
46:56We have to we have to squeeze in all the kitchen work in the time before in the time after.
47:00Again, four to five thirty, the kitchen shut down.
47:03Everything's off.
47:04Nothing's cooking.
47:05And so we're making what was already a fairly challenging situation, much, much more difficult
47:11perhaps.
47:14And running the kitchen like sometimes I would I would have these dreams where I get into
47:20the kitchen and I've got all the kind of the mise en place, the prep list.
47:24I say to someone, can you go and bring, you know, bring us in 30 kilos of onions or whatever
47:28it is we need that day.
47:30And they wander off.
47:31I send someone else somewhere else and then they come back and they're like, couldn't
47:35find the onions.
47:36I couldn't find the this couldn't find that.
47:38Oh, you need something doing better.
47:40Do it yourself.
47:41And so I wander off to the store, open the door and there's nothing in the store.
47:46There's no food at all.
47:47There's no I've forgotten to order any food.
47:51And then I wake up, I wake up from that with this cold sweat and sort of rush to the kitchen.
47:58And of course, the food has been ordered and it's going to be fine.
48:00Not that things didn't go wrong.
48:01A lot of things did go wrong during the kitchen, which we roll with.
48:05But that anxiety dream, that's the mind has conjured an entire reality.
48:15Another common type of anxiety dream, which again, I've had quite a few times.
48:18I travel a lot.
48:19I travel a lot from from country to country teaching here and there.
48:22And sometimes the schedules are quite tight.
48:24And sometimes I've had those dreams where I've got my boarding pass.
48:26I've got to the airport early.
48:28It says, you know, gate 49.
48:29Great.
48:30Fantastic.
48:31I'm going to get there.
48:32I'm going along gate 47, gate 48, gate 50.
48:38What happened to gate 49?
48:39For some unknown reason in that particular airport, gate 50 is, or gate 49 is the other
48:43end of the airport.
48:44It's going to take 20 minutes to get there.
48:46None of the travelators are working.
48:48The ground has turned to toffee.
48:49I can't get the last call, last call for Mr. Rabton.
48:53We're offloading.
48:54We're going to get all the passengers are waiting.
48:57I wake up and it's like, you know, like an hour before I have to get up into a to get
49:01the airport.
49:02The mind has created a whole world.
49:07And our anxiety mind does that a lot in lots of different ways, like social anxiety.
49:12We can think about these people think this about me.
49:17They're talking about me.
49:19And very rarely is that true.
49:23But our anxiety can really get caught up in that.
49:26You know, like we can have a lovely afternoon with someone, say a few daft things perhaps,
49:32which they found quite endearing.
49:34But we can then perseverate on that the whole evening thinking, oh, no, they think I'm an
49:38idiot because I said that.
49:39And that's all we've taken away from what was actually a beautiful day.
49:42Our mind has zoomed in on a little bit and made it really painful.
49:47Or again, you know, I mentioned I've mentioned medical things a few times, but most of us
49:51these days, if we find something, a rash, a bump, a lump, something, we go quickly to
49:58Dr. Google or Iamdefinitelydying.com, type in some symptoms and almost invariably it's
50:05going to say, you know, this is a brain tumour or you're about to have a cataclysmic health
50:11event, you must go to any emergency immediately.
50:16And to be clear, obviously, if you do find a rash, a lump or a bump, get it checked out,
50:23get a doctor's opinion.
50:25Obviously, if you don't feel that they have checked thoroughly enough, if you still have
50:29some hesitation, get it retested, get a second opinion.
50:33All of that's reasonable.
50:35But there does come a point where we've had the check, we've had the second opinion, we've
50:41had all of the tests.
50:43People who are very knowledgeable and caring are telling us there is nothing for you to
50:48worry about in this context at this time.
50:52And if our mind is still churning over and hyper focusing on a particular thing and making
51:00it because we can make something really dramatic.
51:04I don't know, I probably shouldn't go into this level of detail.
51:08But I'm started, so I'm going to now.
51:10But I remember one time after having eaten a lot of raw beetroot, going to the toilet,
51:15I think you can imagine what happens.
51:17And in my mind, I'm massively, internally hemorrhaging and it's too late to get to an
51:22interval.
51:23It's too late to do.
51:24So I just went back to my room and lay down to do the dying practice that we have, the
51:27meditation transfer.
51:28Okay, I guess this is it now.
51:33After a while, I realized I'm still fine.
51:36I'm still totally fine.
51:38It was just, I'm remembering that.
51:40Yeah, excuse me, a lot of beetroot.
51:43Anyway, so one of the practices that we do and this starts off as a simple thing, but
51:51grows into something really, really profound, is that we pay attention to the mistakes our
52:00mind makes.
52:01There's a chapter in Geshe Kelsang's book, How to Understand the Mind, on wrong awareness.
52:06Because we have this tendency to believe whatever our mind tells us.
52:12And very often our mind is deceiving us.
52:14You know, there's, he gives lots of examples, like sensory examples, we might see a shadow
52:19on a wall, but in our mind, we're seeing a terrifying spider.
52:23We might see a length of striped rope in long grass, and our mind sees a snake.
52:30We might, you know, we might be sitting on a train and the train next to us departs and
52:34we think we're moving.
52:35There's so many examples of the mind kind of falling for an illusion, or that's the
52:40way, you know, modern magic is all about illusions and so for optical illusions and these things.
52:45We're wrong so often, and that's a really valuable thing to realize.
52:49My mind can conjure a whole reality.
52:53If we can remember that, we can use that to sort of talk ourself off the ledge.
52:57Like our anxiety can be, I've definitely got this, I've definitely got that, it's awful,
53:01I'm going to, this is terrible, they are definitely thinking about me.
53:05And then just the knowledge, my mind is so powerful, my imagination is so powerful, it
53:10can conjure a reality, I don't have to buy into this.
53:15I don't have to buy into this.
53:18Now this is the foothills of the meditations on selflessness and emptiness, just realizing
53:22that our mind can fool us in that way.
53:28And in fact, a long time ago, Geshe Kelsang asked me to move from England to Australia,
53:34it's around 2002.
53:37And we had a little chat and I was going to a center and you never know, I'm traveling
53:43halfway around the world and I, you know, who knows how it's going to go.
53:47I asked Geshe Kelsang for some advice to help and very kindly we were able to have a chat
53:53and he asked, sorry, he said, the piece of advice that he gave me was he said, when you
54:00go there, it may go well or it may go badly, but either way, always remember, it's just
54:07your mind.
54:09And that really changed my whole paradigm for the way I practice and the way I try to
54:16act.
54:18Up until then, you know, the Buddhist centers that I was involved in in the UK, I was very
54:22much trying to make everything work.
54:24Like a lot of my energy and focus was on the externals, trying to make sure there were
54:29good relationships and so having meetings and conversations and trying to check in.
54:33And not that I don't do that now, but what I was realizing is the focus was on if I do
54:38the externals right, then everything will work.
54:43And Geshe Kelsang's advice gave me permission to look at it from a completely different
54:49point of view, get the mind right, get the mind right and let everything flow from that
54:54place.
54:56And so with that shifted my emphasis, trying to always get the folk, make sure that I am
55:04the best version of myself that I can be.
55:06And then who I am for others is the kindest version that I can be for others.
55:11And what certainly seems to happen in general anyway, is that things then just flow from
55:18that place.
55:19And the world we say, in Buddhism, it's a big tenant of our tradition, is that the world
55:23is a reflection of our mind.
55:25And so if we get our mind right, then everything else will flow from that.
55:31And that, you know, like you've been saying, that's something that we can control.
55:35Like we can't, you know, even if we say all the right things or think what we think are
55:39the right things, we can't guarantee that people are going to respond well, we can't
55:42guarantee that anything's going to turn out how we hoped it would.
55:45That kind of external focus is such a breeding ground for anxiety.
55:49The one thing we have a chance to control is our own mind.
55:53The one thing that we have a chance to ensure is in the right place is our own mind.
55:58And the more aware of that we are, the more likely we are to then live and behave in a
56:04way that is conducive to the kind of outcomes that we really want.
56:07You know, I often think about managers who read books on, you know, how to manage.
56:13And there probably is a tick box or parents who read books on how to parent and there's
56:17a, you know, tick box, do this, do that.
56:20And in my experience of both of those fields, not as a parent, not particularly as a manager,
56:26but as someone who's managed and someone who's parented, then what really matters is someone's
56:30heart.
56:31You know, if the person's coming at the situation with a genuine affection and genuine care,
56:37what comes back is a loyalty and a wish to, you know, to help that maybe that maybe the
56:42manager lacks certain skills in certain areas.
56:45But if the team feels that that person really cares, they will pick up the slack and they'll
56:49make it work for them.
56:50You know, if a parent manifestly loves their child, the child is going to respond to that,
56:57even if, you know, they don't have the tick box skills of do this, say this, you know.
57:03And so that advice from Geshe Kelsang, from Geshe, I feel it's really, from one point
57:12it's very simple, but it's also very, very deep and profound.
57:17It's just the mind.
57:19Realize it's just, it's everything is mind, everything is mind, every situation we're
57:24in is a mind game.
57:27And when we realize that, then we have a chance of winning those mind games within ourselves,
57:31because it's not about the outside, it's about who I am.
57:34And that's something which we have some considerable influence and power over.
57:39Yeah, I mean, it's just such incredible advice, really.
57:44I mean, I think that's the way you've broken that down for me is like, we're really, like
57:49say somebody's listening today and thinking, well, at the moment, all I can tell you is
57:53my mind's completely out of control.
57:55There is no way I can control that anxiety.
57:58It's like I'm tied to the front of a runaway train when my mind gets into that space and
58:03it just intensifies and amplifies and I feel more identified with it and stuck in it.
58:09But as you explained beautifully there, it's just simply your understanding already just
58:14by reflecting on your life, the power of your mind to create your perceived and experienced
58:19reality that has a flip side.
58:22It can create a nightmare and someone who struggles with chronic anxiety, they know
58:26what we're talking about here is it creates a hell for me when I'm in that space and somebody's
58:32listening thinking that's what it is.
58:33What you're also understanding actually through that experience is the power of your mind
58:37to create your reality and the good news is when we do understand whether it's a good
58:42day or a bad day, it's all as Geshe Kelsang is saying in that advice to you, it's just
58:47coming from the mind and that's the one thing you can learn to establish control of.
58:53If we go back to the beginning, if we learn how to control the mind through correct meditation,
58:58we can overcome all fear and anxiety.
58:59That quote from Geshe Kelsang, just think about that deeply.
59:02I mean, I'm thinking about as you're explaining it, just really taking it all back home to
59:07your heart, to your mind.
59:09If you learn the methods to control the mind and control your response instead of your
59:13reaction to situations, you can choose with wisdom to look at that situation differently
59:19and now you're harnessing the power of your mind to create the most peaceful, liberated,
59:25joyful reality gradually over time.
59:27Again, we're not in any way insinuating that this is something you just flick a switch
59:31and you're good to go.
59:32Certainly, in my experience, it hasn't been but you gradually lean into that new way of
59:36seeing things, that new way of relating to things.
59:39Now you're harnessing the power of your mind in the most incredibly creative way, in the
59:44most healing way and liberating way and then we start to see actually what I previously
59:49thought was my weakness, the power of my mind to create my reality.
59:53It's now actually my strength, my superpower to create this whole new experience of reality
59:58free from anxiety and so forth.
1:00:01And then we get to really lean into that.
1:00:04And one of the meditations that we're taught, the meditation on taking, in particular, the
1:00:09meditation on taking giving, which is really at the very core of the mind training techniques
1:00:14that we rely upon.
1:00:17It's so, so powerful.
1:00:19It's so beautiful.
1:00:21And there's a skill to it.
1:00:24So we have, let's say, anxious thoughts and feelings arising.
1:00:31We've been able to create that space where we're acknowledging, we're observing, we're
1:00:35not trying to repress, we're not trying to get rid of them immediately.
1:00:38We've become more comfortable with those uncomfortable feelings.
1:00:41So there's that levelness.
1:00:45And then we can start to think, okay, what am I going to do with these feelings?
1:00:49How can I respond to these in a constructive way?
1:00:52What value can I find in these feelings?
1:00:56And in the meditation on taking, we harness the power of our imagination.
1:01:03So first of all, we use the uncomfortable feelings as a bridge of compassion.
1:01:13Who else feels like this?
1:01:14Am I alone in feeling like this?
1:01:17And certainly with respect to something like anxiety, we can probably quite quickly think
1:01:25of either people we know or certainly people we've heard of whose anxiety is vastly more
1:01:30severe.
1:01:31There are people who haven't left their homes for years.
1:01:33There are people whose daily experience is of just almost uninterrupted terror.
1:01:38The mind is so malfunctioned and it's horrifying.
1:01:44I mentioned before, people who aren't seeking medical treatment, who urgently need it.
1:01:49And that, even if our anxiety itself is quite severe, turning our heart to those, even if
1:01:56it's the same level, even if we're at that level and other people, we think about other
1:02:00people who are at that same level of anxiety.
1:02:04What will happen by knowing what it feels like for us, we get an insight into how it
1:02:09feels like for others, and that will naturally induce a compassion.
1:02:15Our heart will start to feel close to them and think, I wish you didn't have to go through
1:02:22this.
1:02:23I wish you didn't have to carry this burden.
1:02:24I wish you didn't have this obstacle to your enjoyment of life and good fortune and so
1:02:31forth.
1:02:32And the thing we do in the meditation on taking is we imagine, and it's just an act of imagination,
1:02:39but we imagine and we imagine strongly that we could take their anxiety from them.
1:02:46Even we take their anxiety into our own.
1:02:49I already have these anxious thoughts and feelings, but if I could imagine taking their
1:02:54anxiety into my own and we imagine that that person that hasn't been able to leave their
1:03:03home, suddenly they feel lighter.
1:03:07They feel less afraid.
1:03:08They have a sort of a burgeoning, if that's a word, a growing just sort of feeling of
1:03:15confidence and they open their front door and they see an outside world that they've
1:03:18been terrified by and they just feel free to go into.
1:03:21It's such a beautiful thought.
1:03:23The person that's been not seeking out medical attention when they need it, finding that
1:03:27confidence, the person that hasn't been, you know, going out to see friends, the person
1:03:32that's been through their social anxiety, feeling too awkward or ashamed or whatever.
1:03:37We imagine, excuse me, we imagine we take all of that from people into our own anxiety
1:03:46and we do that so fully, like we believe it's actually happening.
1:03:51Some people with this meditation will get a, like a sort of a cynical or skeptical interrupt
1:03:58and not be able to go into it fully.
1:04:00We need to jettison that.
1:04:02You know, the paranoia we have is often based on things that are untrue and yet it has this
1:04:08huge power over our mind.
1:04:10We're going to take that powerful energy of imagination but make it work for us.
1:04:15What will happen from this is we will feel so close, our compassion will become so strong
1:04:21and in particular, like a side benefit, is that our relationship with our anxiety completely
1:04:27changes where previously it was something that we were afraid of, even ashamed of and
1:04:36just wanting to run away from and have nothing to do with.
1:04:40In this meditation, we start to embrace it.
1:04:44If by my having these thoughts and feelings, I am freeing them from those thoughts and
1:04:49feelings, then I will take this every day of the week.
1:04:53I am happy to have these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
1:04:59Something is only difficult and fear inducing for us if we're not accepting of it.
1:05:07The moment we embrace something, all of its power over us disappears.
1:05:13You know, like in the mind training teachings, we sometimes talk about transforming adverse
1:05:18conditions and use the analogy of manure for someone who's not a gardener and I suspect
1:05:26neither of us are.
1:05:27The idea of a big load of manure is not very interesting or exciting.
1:05:31We'll be like, I don't want anything to do with that.
1:05:33But for a keen gardener who knows how to turn it into delicious vegetables and beautiful
1:05:38flowers, then it's a delight.
1:05:41So for the person who's training their mind in taking and feels I can take the anxiety
1:05:50of others away by drawing it into my own, they lose all their fear.
1:05:58The anxiety itself has to disappear.
1:06:01This is a really powerful way of harnessing the imagination.
1:06:04For some people, it might be a little bit at the beginning we worry, am I going to get
1:06:08more anxiety?
1:06:09That's not what happens.
1:06:10economically, that's not possible for that to happen.
1:06:12What we give out comes back, what we take, we lose.
1:06:14If we're taking anxiety, it will disappear.
1:06:17It will definitely disappear.
1:06:18But what's really happening is our compassion is becoming incredibly strong.
1:06:24And then of course, it's not literally taking away others anxiety, but it's positioning
1:06:30our mind to be aware of and most able to say and do the right things in the right moments
1:06:36for people.
1:06:37So it's an incredibly powerful meditation.
1:06:40Yeah, that's a perfect way to kind of on the journey we've been in this conversation, so
1:06:47many practical aspects you've touched on here from the very basic breathing meditation practice
1:06:52which anyone listening today can start there, creating some space in your mind to be able
1:06:57to respond a little bit more constructively a little bit more wisely to the inevitable
1:07:00difficulties we all face.
1:07:02But we go on this whole journey and everything we've explored today and this meditation is
1:07:05so powerful, this practice of taking it actually begins to deeply undermine the very basis
1:07:11of all your anxiety, which is our especially people know this who suffer from anxiety,
1:07:16this excessive and sometimes obsessive self concern that we get caught up in when we're
1:07:20struggling when we train in this practice, actually, you're beginning to undermine that
1:07:25very basis of all your anxiety.
1:07:27And as you say, you're growing continually these beautiful qualities of compassion and
1:07:31love and so forth and another aspect of this meditation as we know is just we feel like
1:07:36we give love and we give peace to those people who previously were struggling with anxiety,
1:07:41we give them the deepest happiness.
1:07:42So there's other aspects of this, we'll explore that in other podcasts, but I just think like
1:07:47the way you've brought that in at the end is like, okay, now I have a practical meditation
1:07:51that I can learn over time, even if you're not quite sure of all the mechanics of it
1:07:55today for anyone who's listening, you can definitely learn this and it is the most profoundly
1:08:00liberating practice you can engage in.
1:08:03There are many profound, but this is so profound and beginning to liberate yourself from the
1:08:07basis of all anxiety.
1:08:09And also, any of the aspects we've looked at today, you know, looking at the chat, the
1:08:14reality of any of us could die today, if we start to really internalize that we realize
1:08:19I'm going to live my best life today might be the only day I have and I'm going to work
1:08:23to let go of this anxiety and so forth.
1:08:25So so much in this conversation today and as always, when I chat with you, there is
1:08:30so much more we could go into and I'm sure we will do in future podcasts.
1:08:33But again, Robton, thanks a million for dropping in today.
1:08:36Really enjoyed that.
1:08:37I think that's going to be so helpful for so many.
1:08:39Thank you.
1:08:40It's been a pleasure.
1:08:41Thanks so much.
1:08:42Hey, everyone, just a quick one.
1:08:44We'd love to get these podcasts to more and more people over time so that many people
1:08:48can benefit from these conversations.
1:08:50So to help us get there eventually.
1:08:52And also if you think it might be helpful to somebody today, maybe like like or share
1:08:56this episode.
1:08:57Also to help us grow this channel over time, please feel free to subscribe.
1:09:01Thanks very much.

About this transcript

This page contains the full transcript of FREEDOM FROM ANXIETY: BUDDHIST MEDITATIONS THAT UNLOCK FEARLESSNESS by The Modern Buddhism Podcast, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 11,900 words across 1,046 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

What you can do with it

Use the transcript to take notes, quote the speaker, build a study guide, generate a summary with ChatGPT or Claude via the YouTube Summary tool, or export it as a timed subtitle file with YouTube to SRT. You can also re-open it in the transcriber to translate the transcript into 100+ languages.

Free YouTube transcript tool

YouTube2Text is a free YouTube transcript generator — no signup, no daily limit. Paste any YouTube link and get the full transcript instantly, with timestamps, click-to-jump, translation to 100+ languages, AI prompts for ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini, and exports to TXT, SRT, VTT, or Markdown.