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Former Pressure Dev Cyborg Speaks Out | Pressure Situation — Transcript

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0:01Needless to say, if I was aware that any
0:05of my friends or anyone was assaulted,
0:08you know, you had their rights taken
0:10away sexually, I would not be sitting
0:13still. Not for money, not to like cover
0:16for a friend. This is [ __ ] insane.
0:22Like there's hurt claiming I knew about
0:24like any serious context going on during
0:27the time, but saying I wanted to share
0:30share the bed with them. Like Jesus.
0:34>> And I mean, even then, you said it right
0:36here. It's consensual. I mean, this
0:37would be the time more than ever to be
0:39like, "No, it was not consensual."
0:42And I mean, even
0:44>> like I'm sorry, but she like never gave
0:45me the signals like if there's cuz it
0:48did raise my red flags, you know, and so
0:51I'm bringing up consent.
0:53>> Yeah.
0:53>> And um she she didn't um and I'm not
0:57saying I'm not saying anything, but I
1:01can only speak for myself. What she's
1:02claiming about me right now is just
1:04[ __ ] wrong.
1:06>> This This was This was right after Ren
1:08and Zal's first encounter. Yeah, this
1:11was right after she explained, you know,
1:13what I was saying earlier that she kind
1:15of explained like there being no
1:18connection.
1:19>> Yeah,
1:21>> like it was like a sparkless fling.
1:24>> Holy [ __ ] And come over, I guess, if
1:27you want to. I don't mind.
1:31>> Yeah. And this is also
1:34this is also after Zil had turned down
1:38another night. As long as it's
1:40consensual, you know, he's a sweet dude.
1:44He is, dude, I feel so much better cuz
1:46he comforted me.
1:49Holy [ __ ] my word, not as gospel is the
1:52fact that she,
1:55you know, would be describing the sexual
1:58experience and like be [ __ ] all over
2:00it and then like immediately say
2:05like, "Oh, but like I wouldn't mind if
2:07you you came to my room or like made a
2:10move." like
2:11>> is it a hot take to say like she's a
2:14girl talking about like another guy's
2:17another guy's like terrible performance
2:20and the thing is I know like during this
2:22time I know that she still like has
2:24feelings for me
2:38to everyone who has been keeping up with
2:40the situ situation. Hi, my name is
2:42Zombie. I have already recorded this
2:43once and I [ __ ] up the audio for it.
2:45So, I'm going to attempt and do my best
2:49to not mess this up again. I have record
2:52pressed and I have only one audio source
2:54happening. So, anyway, um yeah, thank
2:59you to everyone who's been keeping up
3:00with the situation. Uh recently after
3:03Blue and I did our interview, I was
3:05reached out by a former Pressure
3:08developer who has wanted to share their
3:11experience amongst a series of
3:14allegations that have been happening in
3:15private uh alongside of some other
3:19information that they have on this case.
3:22Um the reason why it's taken so long to
3:25get out is because we were waiting on
3:26certain things to happen behind the
3:27scenes. I can't explain what that is,
3:30but if you can connect the dots, you can
3:32connect the dots. So, yeah.
3:35Today, sorry, I've already done this
3:37once, so that's why I'm kind of tripping
3:39up on words. Today, I would like you
3:41guys to meet Cyborg, a former pressure
3:45developer and somebody who I've had the
3:47pleasure of talking with the past couple
3:49of days. Really cool guy. And yeah,
3:51without further ado, let's meet the man
3:54himself. Hello.
3:57Hello.
3:58>> Nice to nice to meet you. Um I I know
4:02you of course, but for those who do not
4:05know you, would you mind introducing
4:06yourself?
4:08>> Uh yes, I'm Cyborg and my role in
4:13Pressure I considered dev, but I think
4:16it's stretching a bit. Just so
4:18everyone's familiar, I did the thumbnail
4:21logo, the thumbnails, the logo um angr
4:25sprites.
4:26>> And but in relation to this situation, I
4:31am referred to by some sources as
4:34Magenta.
4:35>> Okay.
4:37And while we're on that note and before
4:40we leave it, because I know there are
4:41some allegations floating around with
4:43that name in particular, uh, in a
4:46document released a very long time ago,
4:49around the start of everything, there
4:50was, I believe in Will's document, there
4:53were a series of screenshots that were
4:56about uh, Magenta, you that Ren was
5:00apparently trying to get drinks with you
5:02and do evil plans. And although those
5:04evil plans weren't like
5:06>> ever explicitly explained,
5:09>> um, considering I guess the, you know,
5:13the alcoholic
5:15>> like like uh word that got thrown in
5:18there that didn't really seem too good
5:21uh on Ren's side of things.
5:24>> Do you have anything personally to say
5:26about that because you are him?
5:29>> Yeah. Yes. Uh that was the claim I was
5:32told at the time and just I need to
5:36clarify my stance on the situation.
5:38>> Yeah.
5:38>> I want to present myself as someone who
5:40is only speaking to my own perspective
5:42on events during that time.
5:44>> Okay.
5:44>> I'm not here to pass judgment on
5:47anyone's alleged experience. I simply
5:50speak from my perspective.
5:52>> Yeah. Um, that being said, um, yeah,
5:55I've seen the screenshots and personally
5:59I don't think it's enough to conclude
6:02her being like a potential assaulter.
6:04>> Mhm.
6:04>> Um, she did know that I had a h had
6:07household issues and thus kick back a
6:10lot of alcohol,
6:12>> but she'd also confessed to me um,
6:14important information. She also
6:17confessed and I rejected her. Oh,
6:21>> and this was all leading up to RDC.
6:22>> Like a love confession.
6:26>> Yeah. Oh, wow.
6:26>> Yes. Like um go on a date type.
6:30>> Oh, I see.
6:31>> Um
6:32>> Yeah. And and so that snippet of her
6:36saying, "I don't want to overwhelm
6:39Cyborg and tell him to have a drink with
6:41me and my evil plans become apparent
6:44as as if she, you know, thought of like
6:47by passing my rejection via alcohol."
6:51>> Yeah,
6:52>> it's definitely not something you say,
6:54you know, and if I had known about that,
6:56I
6:57>> I wouldn't have decided to meet up. And
7:00you know while she didn't encourage once
7:02we got to RDC she didn't encourage me to
7:04drink
7:06>> um but her advances did continue which
7:10we'll talk about later
7:11>> right and there's a lot that we have to
7:14go through here today um I only have two
7:17more questions and just this uh general
7:20I guess debrief before we dive into this
7:22because these are I mean this is a
7:24pretty long document. Um but my next
7:29question would be so why now you know
7:32why do you want to come forward now out
7:34of all times because I mean like you
7:36know this situation has almost been
7:37going on for about three months why not
7:40earlier.
7:42>> Yeah. Um I mean everyone's guesses right
7:45would be like
7:47you know I was afraid of the horde you
7:50know likened to
7:53blue's reason you know it was just a
7:55different emotions were high
7:57>> like
8:00>> and like you prefaced in your
8:02announcement that this does include this
8:04document includes very sensitive
8:05information. Um, I wanted to release it
8:09week one, you know, but
8:13the rational fear and obviously I don't
8:16want to catch my hands in any legal
8:18blades either, so to say.
8:20>> Mhm. But the biggest like
8:24thing for me is the rumors and false
8:28claims circulating the smearing of my
8:32name behind closed doors and in dev
8:35servers which has resulted in me.
8:38Some people have like severized silently
8:43>> and
8:45I don't okay I don't know like the full
8:47extent of the damage but I still feel
8:52you know now's the right time.
8:53>> You're still being dragged through the
8:55dirt even though that you aren't the the
8:57target of that original document.
9:02>> Yeah. I like everyone in that document.
9:03Again, I'm not not trying to like throw
9:06like discredit on anyone's experience,
9:08but
9:10a lot of the people on the on pressure
9:14was like condemned.
9:15>> Yeah.
9:16>> You know,
9:18and then most of the damage for me was,
9:21you know, done privately, which we will
9:23get to.
9:24>> Gotcha. Okay. And then my final
9:27question, uh, is how how do you know
9:29Ren? Uh, how did y'all meet? What's
9:31Shell's origin story?
9:34>> Um, nothing too inspiring. Like I joined
9:37late in pressure.
9:39>> Um, before release, but I did join late
9:41cuz you know 2D artist, right? Um,
9:45>> I knew she was a composer. She wasn't
9:47that active, but you know, I liked her
9:50music. And then she contacted me for a
9:53commission, I believe. And then
9:56yeah, it was like acquaintance type up
9:59until like leading up to RDC. I say
10:02several months before RDC.
10:04>> Gotcha.
10:05>> And then Yeah.
10:08>> So yeah, y'all weren't like close
10:10friends. It was only up until like the
10:12the the what you were saying like RDC.
10:16>> I wouldn't say like close friends. I But
10:19we started talking more.
10:21>> So
10:21>> Okay. Just friends. We'll we'll just say
10:24friends.
10:26>> Uh, all right. Well, those are all my
10:29questions. Before we start, do you have
10:31any questions for me?
10:33>> Uh, no.
10:34>> No. Cool.
10:35>> I'm ready when you are.
10:37>> All righty. I've already done this tango
10:40once. Time to tango again. All right.
10:44Anyway,
10:47I said that in my uh my little
10:48announcement. I said we'd already done
10:50this once, but the audio messed up. So
10:52anyway, without further ado, let's get
10:54into this uh document. All righty.
10:58During the events around September 25th,
11:01wow, already out the gate swinging hard.
11:03Uh during the events around September
11:062025, I was in contact with Bren, the
11:08former composer of Pressure, and was
11:10told about our interactions with Zeal,
11:12the creative lead for Pressure. Based on
11:13what I was told at the time, I did not
11:15understand there being any alleged uh
11:17allegation
11:19of assault, nor was I informed of any
11:22claim being non-consensual. I was not
11:24involved in per asked to participate in
11:27or asked to conceal anything related to
11:29any alleged incident due to
11:31misinformation circulating that includes
11:33my name. I am sharing the messages and
11:35context to accurately reflect my
11:37understanding and involvement at the
11:39time. Uh these this is just kind of like
11:42the walkthrough of what we're going to
11:43be going through. Um I will be
11:46unbiasedly posting all critical moments
11:48in my and Ren's DMs. I encourage you to
11:51read it and it's full to reach your own
11:53conclusion. My goal is to simply correct
11:56my own involvement and ensure that
11:58information about me is accurate. Here's
12:00the glossery. Uh Zeal, he's the, you
12:03know, accused. He's the creative lead of
12:06pressure. Ren is the former composer. X
12:09is blue and then uh Y is an unnamed
12:13individual who was Ren's friend.
12:16Perspective. At the time of these
12:17events, I had only recently met both Ren
12:20and Zil in person. My understanding of
12:22their relationship was based solely on
12:24what I observed and what I was told
12:26directly. My perspective reflects only
12:28what I knew then and should not be taken
12:30as a judgment of anyone's alleged
12:32experience.
12:35Intro summary. And then we get into the
12:38timeline of days. Day one, September
12:402nd, 2025. The sweet incident. After
12:44spending time together touring San Jose,
12:47the four of us, Ren, Zeal, Y, and I
12:49returned to a lounge of uh to a lounge
12:52of the hotel. While there, I saw what I
12:54interpreted as close and affectionate
12:56behavior between Ren and Zeal. Uh they
12:59had cuddled each other, which I
13:00interpreted as public display of
13:02affection. I chose to leave the area
13:04shortly after, teasing them by saying,
13:06"A gay." Um,
13:10so to go ahead and tackle the beast
13:12while we're on it,
13:14Cyborg, are you homophobic?
13:16Was this you showing any hatred to gay
13:19people in this moment,
13:20>> brother? No.
13:23Um, also I guess to like I know it's
13:26just like my word and nothing else, but
13:29during that time, yeah, I just was
13:33Uh I'm trying to unsuppress suppressed
13:35memories here,
13:36>> right?
13:37>> But what I can recall is I was like
13:40sitting across in the living room. This
13:41is a suite. So like it's a
13:43>> big room,
13:43>> a big room.
13:46>> And you know they I guess it was like
13:48time to leave. Like it was mentioned
13:50that like it was time to leave and then
13:53like they started lay hugging on the
13:55couch across from me and so I'm just
13:57like like I'm just there.
14:00>> Mhm. And so I just like get up and then
14:03I say like, "Okay."
14:05Nothing about it raised any eyebrows for
14:08me.
14:08>> Gotcha.
14:09>> And you know,
14:11and so I left the living room.
14:14>> All righty. Interesting.
14:17Um, yeah, the observation is included
14:20only to reflect. Cyborg just elaborated
14:23on that. Uh, day two, September 3rd,
14:252025. Later that evening, after Zal
14:27canceled dinner, I returned to my room.
14:29Ren told me Zil was coming over to
14:31provide emotional support. Later, Ren
14:33DM'd me and described in persistent
14:35detail the cozy cuddling before Rosal's
14:38bad sexual performance and the lack of
14:39sexual connection with my POV of them
14:42being painfully awkward virgins. It
14:44sounded to me like this wrote that.
14:46>> You say what?
14:48>> I forgot I wrote that, but it is
14:51honestly true. We were all very awkward.
14:53I mean,
14:53>> yeah,
14:55>> devs.
14:56>> Roblox developers meeting for the first
14:58time.
15:00any sorry anyway um it sounded to me
15:04like it was a typical first time fail
15:06though during the conversation I had
15:08mentioned consent I asked Ren to keep
15:11what I thought was a consented chemistry
15:13fail private uh we ran a popular IP on a
15:16kid's platform and I'm hearing my boss
15:18slept with a former coworker so I
15:20expressed discomfort with the situation
15:21at the time due to the professional
15:23dynamic involved z was not aware Ren had
15:26told me needless to say I'm
15:28uncomfortable talking to a friend about
15:30my now former boss's bad sex.
15:36>> Yeah. Uh, day three, September 4th of
15:3925. Rena later told me she planned to
15:41meet Zeal again. This raised concerns
15:43for me about the dynamics they shared,
15:45and I raised questions about boundaries
15:47and connection. I was uh avidly
15:51I I always struggle with that word.
15:53>> Avidly, yeah, reassured during these
15:56conversations. Ren then goes into
15:58seemingly fond detail of day two's
16:00night. I was not informed of any alleged
16:02context. Day four,
16:05uh, September 5th, 25. Following
16:08additional interactions between Ren and
16:10Zil. Ren continued to speak to me
16:11positively about the situation. They'd
16:13meet up for another night. Ren uh, Ren
16:15voiced to me her admiration for Zeal as
16:19he slept on her chest, expressing
16:21warmth. I did not express input at this
16:24stage as I was as I wanted to respect
16:27Ren's decision despite my initial
16:29concerns. Ren was seeking an emotional
16:31connection that Zil didn't seem to
16:33reciprocate. I was uh it was frustrating
16:35seeing her chase this and ignoring my
16:37concern and continuing to gloat over the
16:39experience. I did not feel it was
16:41appropriate to involve myself further
16:43and keep repeating myself. Later that
16:45day, I'd heard from Ren that Zeal wanted
16:48to skip that night. Ren expressed
16:49disappointment before inviting me over
16:52to her own Wait, wait. Before inviting
16:56me over to her room to which I rejected.
17:03Wow. All right.
17:05And that was like a
17:09Were the intentions of that ever laid
17:11out or was that just kind of like a
17:15um honestly I guess we'd have I want
17:20people to just like see the DMs for
17:22themselves. Like I,
17:25you know, I don't want to imply
17:26anything, but it did put me off a bit at
17:29the time.
17:32Okay. Um,
17:36day five, September 6, 2025. After at
17:40the afterparty, I was informed by others
17:42Ren was absent. That details about Ren
17:44and Zil's relationship have been shared
17:47uh, widely. It was the story I was told.
17:50Ren had been bragging about the sex,
17:51making why uncomfortable, and therefore
17:53left the ceremony. X, who's blue, texted
17:56Zal this information, which is why he
17:58left the awards early. Zeal confronted
18:01Ren in DMs, but would not disclose who
18:03spilled. My discomfort at the time
18:05stemmed from an un from the
18:06unprofessional work dynamic involved in
18:08sex gossip. If I had been made aware of
18:11any serious allegation, I would take I
18:13would have taken it seriously and
18:14responded accordingly. I received
18:16messages from Ren requesting that I
18:18speak with her and threatening me in DMs
18:20to leave the uh the Roblox Innovation
18:22Awards ceremony for a confrontation, but
18:26I did not see them soon enough due to
18:27connectivity issues. Uh, the evening's
18:31events were relayed to me verbally. I
18:33was informed that emergency services 911
18:37had been contacted regarding Ren's
18:38well-being. She had texted ex that she
18:41was planning to commit suicide.
18:43Eventually, I heard the relieving news
18:45that Ren was okay. Once I returned to my
18:48room, I had an emotional conversation
18:50with Ren. It was a difficult and
18:52emotional call where we both sobbed.
18:54Sobbed. Whoops.
18:55>> Yeah. Uh following that interaction, I
18:58chose to distance myself from my own
19:00mental well-being. This decision was
19:01based on how the situation was affecting
19:03me personally and on the strain it was
19:05creating in our interactions.
19:08Um in the DMs is the call. The DM state,
19:12I don't regret anything with you. I
19:14still have I still have belief in you,
19:16but I won't be with you this time. The
19:19way you jump to conclusions, saying I
19:21told Zeal and I'm a [ __ ] I know your
19:24emotion is true and authentic, but so am
19:26I. So am I. I don't know if things will
19:29ever change, but I never hope you won't
19:31make it. I don't know why the only
19:33person who can't understand that is you.
19:35Ren said, "I sent that to you and every
19:37person who knew wasn't just you." Zeal
19:40would uh Zeal wouldn't tell me who said
19:42it. And he's and he's like, "It's up to
19:45you. Up to me to figure that out." So I
19:47was freaking out and threatened everyone
19:49when no one deserved that. You never
19:51deserve this.
19:54Uh, and underneath it says, "I just
19:56understood the situation."
19:58>> Yeah, that's um she edited that after I
20:02had um cut ties.
20:06So, that was like her like, "Oh, I just
20:07understood what was going on." And then
20:09she texted me on her alt,
20:11>> which I uh
20:13>> we'll cover later.
20:14>> Okay.
20:16Uh Cyborg responded with, "It doesn't
20:18matter who spelled Ren. Don't you
20:19understand that there's a difference
20:20between bragging and grabbing advice
20:22about intimate activities? You knew what
20:24you were doing because I know you
20:25overthink and we agreed on most things.
20:27I feel like I was the few that really
20:29believed in you. Honestly, can't believe
20:30it and I'm too mad to keep contacts. I
20:33just say something stupid. So, I'm
20:34sorry. Goodbye. And the endotes,
20:39all of the above reflects my personal
20:41understanding at the time based solely
20:42on what I was told and what I personally
20:44experienced. At no point was I informed
20:46of any allegation of assault, nor was I
20:49asked to conceal any such information.
20:53Let's get into this next page.
20:58All right, this is where stuff gets
21:00disturbing. All right.
21:03All circulated rumors and the claims
21:05against me. These are claims that have
21:06been made in private against you. Is
21:08that right?
21:10>> Yeah.
21:12>> Okay. To hit it home again, keep in mind
21:14my disclaimer. I speak in self-defense.
21:16These claims are empty and aren't
21:18mentioned in Ren's initial document, but
21:20have been circulated by her and Discord
21:22servers. I want to make it clear that my
21:24involvement was and what I was aware of
21:26at the time. These false rumors have
21:28cost me friends and important
21:30connections. The following messages
21:32reflect my understanding of the events
21:33based on what was actually said to me
21:35directly. No untonone. Some of my
21:38responses may appear casual or brief.
21:40This is due to my understanding at the
21:41time that the situation being described
21:43to me was not or was fully consensual. I
21:46was not aware of any allegation and my
21:48tone reflects that that lack of
21:50awareness. I'm getting water. Oh my
21:53gosh.
21:56Oh wow.
21:59Start the zombie drink water counter
22:01now. Okay. Debunking claims.
22:03>> Take your time, man.
22:06>> Claim one. I was uh I was compliant. I
22:08was complicit. uh and aware of the
22:10alleged assault. Claim two, saying I
22:13wanted to join the praised alleged
22:15assault alongside zeal, disguising it as
22:18a joke. Claim three, that I attempted to
22:21cover up and conceal an alleged assault.
22:23Do you mind elaborating on that before I
22:26read the
22:28the screenshot?
22:29>> Um,
22:31okay. All right. Like needless to say,
22:34if I was aware that any of my friends or
22:38anyone was assaulted, you know, you had
22:40their rights taken away sexually,
22:43>> I would not be sitting still. Not for
22:46money, not to like cover for a friend.
22:49>> And so like, and I know that's just my
22:52word, but you know, I have to say it.
22:54And so,
22:57you know,
23:00that being said, this is [ __ ] insane.
23:06There's hurt claiming I knew about like
23:08any serious context going on during the
23:10time, but saying I wanted to share
23:14share the bed with them like Jesus.
23:18>> Yeah. I'm sorry. What?
23:22>> Yeah. No, I know. Um, and
23:25But like um besides it being like a
23:28[ __ ] up thing to say or a quote
23:30unquote joke about like anyone who knows
23:32like the first thing about me is like
23:34familiar that and like I don't know how
23:36to say this but like I'm a [ __ ]
23:40just just no world where I would say
23:42something that like honestly
23:44psychopathic.
23:46>> Yeah. like like to know like full well
23:50what was going on, you know, allegedly
23:52what was going on and then to say like,
23:55"Oh, I would toast do the same." Like,
23:58>> yeah, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
24:01>> And again, I'm not going to speak to
24:03anyone's like alleged experience,
24:06but and I can only speak for my own and
24:09this is just incorrect.
24:12And that message that Ren has been going
24:14around and telling others was, and this
24:15was on, oh wow, this was Yeah, this was
24:18like a couple days after it happened on
24:21April 10th. She released her doc on the
24:23ETH. Um, excuse me. Excuse me again. Uh,
24:28he was super complicit. Uh, he said he
24:31said something disgusting to me and I
24:33can't even bring it up because the
24:34evidence is gone now, but he mentioned
24:36he wanted to join Zeal on me sexually
24:38and then said it as a joke. I cannot
24:40bring that up unfortunately, but he did
24:43tell me he praises zeal and that he
24:45trusts me that I would never come
24:47forward with this publicly, etc., etc. I
24:50can't believe I had a crush on Cyborg at
24:52one point, man. Uh, I once thought that
24:54drinking would make me look cool to him
24:57back when I had a crush on him. Then
24:59people spun the story up to make it
25:01sound like I wanted to have sex with
25:03him, which was disgusting. We flirted
25:05before we called each other hot before
25:07and text, but that was about it. I never
25:10drank, by the way. I was told I'd get
25:12depressed and keep trying and that it
25:14tastes like [ __ ] and not yummy juice
25:16because drinking is illegal in my
25:18country and I wanted to also try
25:20something new.
25:23I'm sorry, Yummy Juice. Uh, shout out.
25:26Um,
25:28like why?
25:31>> Sorry.
25:31>> Have nothing to say about that.
25:35Like why why is it when I say I want to
25:37drink I'm bad but Zil kept begging to
25:40want to try weed and then he goes to
25:41America and no one made fun of him. Both
25:44Zeal and Cyborg are alcoholics. When Ren
25:47says I want to try suddenly now Ren
25:49drank, Ren wanted sex. It's so gross.
25:51Also, sorry for like yapping too much.
25:53I'm like sleep deprived for my so my
25:55filter is a little broken right now and
25:57I might accidentally fall asleep while
25:59texting. Wow. All right.
26:03Yeah. Um, I reciprocated her compliment
26:07and I did, you know, I did compliment
26:09her. Like, I won't lie about that. Um,
26:12you know, I don't know if it's like the
26:14Asian culture I'm from, but like, you
26:16know, I won't I'll tell my friends like,
26:18"Hey, you look good,
26:19>> you know, and it but like in the
26:22important moments like I'm not
26:24pursuing."
26:25>> Does that make sense?
26:26>> Yeah. a compliment isn't uh isn't a
26:29gateway to
26:32uh I guess a a first date. I mean I mean
26:35I guess it could be but like earlier
26:37today when uh when you were redacting
26:39like a a screenshot was a like I I was
26:42like dang man you're a good-looking
26:44you're good-looking and you're like
26:46thanks. It was like one of those things.
26:47>> Okay. All right. This is
26:48>> I'm just saying I'm just saying you know
26:50like it's a compliment. I'm not I'm not
26:51pursuing you romantically or nothing,
26:53but like it's it's just
26:55>> [ __ ] likewise, dude.
26:58>> Yeah. But Oh,
27:00>> well, thank you.
27:02>> But yeah.
27:04>> Yeah.
27:04>> But yeah, I mean I I can understand
27:07that. And I mean, you could even use
27:10this screenshot to discourage the uh the
27:12claim that, you know, she was trying to
27:14get somebody drunk at RD or trying to
27:16get you drunk. I say somebody like I'm
27:19not talking to you. Um, you know, you
27:23could you could use this to be like,
27:24yeah, this is discouraging from
27:26>> the claims that are Ren trying to get
27:29you drunk at RDC,
27:33>> right?
27:34>> Yeah. Okay.
27:35>> Um, and then obviously I did not price
27:39the alleged assault,
27:40>> right?
27:42>> Yeah. Um, she says that like the
27:45evidence has been destroyed, but I'd
27:48argue that
27:50my counter my counter evidence proves
27:54that I would never say that. There's
27:56just like no chance,
27:57>> right? Voice crackers call. Oh my god.
28:02Okay.
28:02>> My condolences.
28:05>> [ __ ] my chub life. Anyway, claim one
28:08complency.
28:10Complacency and awareness.
28:13Excuse me. Uh claim I was aware of and
28:17compl and complacent uh in an alleged
28:20assault. I believe I was being told
28:21about personal details that did not
28:23raise any indication of an allegation.
28:26At no point was I informed of any
28:27concern, allegation, or request to
28:29conceal information. After what I
28:31thought was a consented one night stand,
28:34the next day Ren agreed to meet Zeal at
28:35midnight. Apprehensive, I brought up the
28:38matter of mutual connection and consent
28:40to which she assur uh to which she
28:42reassured me. View the figures below for
28:44the conversation. On day four, she
28:47voices disappointment when he canled the
28:49next night. From my perspective, there
28:52was nothing to be deciphered. I was
28:54concerned about the emotional harm this
28:56developing quote unquote relationship
28:59could have caused her, despite the lack
29:01of alleged context. my objection to the
29:04continued relationship the day after.
29:06Ren says, "Well, Zil wants to see me
29:08again tonight." I'm like, "Okay, Zeal,
29:11bro." Ren, I'm going to pick up my
29:14bestie from the airport soon. Uh, Cyber
29:17says, "Are we kidding?" Ren says, "What?
29:19I mean, that's good for you." Ren and
29:21him. Yeah, I know, but he's changing
29:24plans, I think, because we had [ __ ] Ren
29:27says, "No, midnight." He said after
29:29everyone splits. Oh, straight up
29:31midnight. Ren says, "Yeah." Ah, okay.
29:34Sorry. Ren says, "Don't worry."
29:36>> Wait, I want to say this like tracks
29:38with the timeline because like the other
29:39day, um, you know, there was canceled
29:43dinner.
29:44>> Yeah.
29:44>> Right. And so that's when the sexual the
29:46first sexual encounter happened.
29:47>> Oh, okay.
29:48>> So, I was upset here like this is, you
29:52know,
29:53>> but yeah.
29:54>> Are they really making plans to go do it
29:57again over
29:59>> Yeah. I mean, it's what the chat logs
30:02say. And yeah,
30:07uh Ren says, "Don't worry about it.
30:09Well, y'all are chill. He texted me this
30:11morning. He He's got plans. I got mine."
30:13Silly. I just I don't know. I don't want
30:15this to become a habit. You know what I
30:17mean? There's no real connection. Don't
30:19read this out loud. Obviously, lol
30:21friend says, "But like we kind of do."
30:23Oh, yeah. Of course. I've known him for
30:255 years and I do like him. I'm like him.
30:27I'm just processing.
30:29I'm just Okay, now I'm confused.
30:33>> Um
30:34>> um yeah, I'll interject here. Um not to
30:38like sound redundant, but I want to
30:40hammer home. This is like the day after
30:43um the first sexual encounter, and she
30:46had described to me that like it was
30:50like like a sparkless fling.
30:53>> Yeah.
30:53>> So to like so to say. Um, and those
30:58don't really happen twice. You know, the
31:02first time is like, yeah, that's pretty
31:04much how I'd expect a first time to go,
31:06>> right? One night stands kind of thing.
31:10>> Yeah,
31:11>> but it's the fact that she expressed
31:13like sexual disconnection.
31:16>> Gotcha. that and then she's she's, you
31:20know, going with these she's um planning
31:25so to say um
31:28>> another encounter with Zeal and like
31:29that did raise my red flags.
31:33Now, I know people on Twitter are more
31:35than likely going to point it out, but
31:38like not me. I personally don't think
31:41this was the case at all. like the
31:42fawning response if you've read anything
31:44about it.
31:47>> I mean, yeah. Um, I'm not going to say
31:50anything, but like
31:54there's also the argument of
31:55hypersexuality,
31:57>> but that's still not a that's not a like
32:00hypersexuality doesn't like you you can
32:02Okay, if you got a high libido, all
32:04right, you're still you can still
32:07>> Yeah.
32:09>> Gotcha. Okay.
32:11Anyway, Ren says, "You know, I'm like
32:14right and left. I'm still processing it
32:17then when I woke up and he wasn't there.
32:19I just wanted him there. He just made me
32:21feel so safe." Uh, look, you're not
32:24mentally there to deal with this [ __ ]
32:25yet. I mean, you're you are just now
32:28making good friends and he can visit you
32:31just, you know, I don't so I don't want
32:34to jump that far. Hold on. Sorry. I was
32:35like reading this all in one batch. Ren
32:37says, "Then he told me the same thing.
32:39Uh he outright told me he wants to get
32:41condoms. I didn't really say anything.
32:44He came up with that. So I'm like I mean
32:46yeah sure. His tism is silly because he
32:48thinks he's uh he thinks he's some task
32:51I'm trying to teach him. It's not like
32:54he kind of treats it like a project he
32:56needs to get done. I'm trying to teach
32:57him. No, it's like not like that. He's
32:59just learning I think and I don't mind.
33:01Uh I don't know. I'm And then Cyborg
33:04says I don't know. I'm thinking long
33:06term right now. Ren says he wants to do
33:09things but doesn't fully understand. No,
33:12it's going to be all right. Cyborg, this
33:14isn't worth it. We'll talk later. Enjoy
33:16your time, dummy. Rem says, "I know
33:18you're like worried about us and stuff,
33:20but like it's going to be okay. We
33:22aren't like being reckless or dumb.
33:24We're just being humans. I don't know.
33:26Being human, I guess." Cyborg then says,
33:29"I'm anxious, bro. I can feel it in my
33:31forehead, and it's for a good reason."
33:33Ren then says, "It's because you went
33:35through a lot of bad things in your
33:37life, so it would seep into your mind.
33:38Maybe trauma does that." It's not that.
33:41Um, Ren, I want to understand how this
33:44could be bad. If you don't feel
33:46connection, then you should say no. It's
33:49consensual, but if but if you're not
33:52feeling it, Ren, I do. I just don't know
33:55how to express it. So, I lied to myself
33:56last night trying to like I don't know,
33:58get it out of my head. I used to write
34:00poems about him. Cyborg. All right. I
34:02won't nudge.
34:05Okay. So, this right here, like the you
34:10don't feel a connection, uh, then you
34:12should say no. It's consensual, but if
34:14you're not feeling it, is that like you
34:16took that response that she gave as
34:18like, yeah, like I it's consensual, but
34:20like in my head, I'm I'm still
34:22justifying my feelings for him.
34:26>> Yeah. I'm assuming
34:27>> it's like
34:29in my head I was assuming that
34:34that she was consenting to you can
34:38consent to sex that you're not into
34:41>> like absolutely you know you would know
34:44like like for example in high school you
34:46know like the two people who got
34:47together you know and it didn't happen
34:49again.
34:50>> Yeah. Like petty sex
34:51>> somehow it led
34:53>> Yeah. Yeah. um like somehow it led to
34:56the bed and it you know became the never
34:59again special right and so
35:05yeah pity sex that's exactly what cuz I
35:08again have people come tell me like oh I
35:11just had sex with him because he because
35:14I pied him because I felt bad for him
35:15it's like oh like like
35:19yeah like I'm going to assume they
35:21consented
35:22but you know that raises questions about
35:25like insecurities and like if they value
35:28themselves.
35:29>> Yeah. you know,
35:32and so
35:34yeah, I'm not going to like straight up
35:35ask like, okay, but was it consensual?
35:39Because if anyone has like any like
35:43social awareness that is you don't you
35:45do not ask that cuz if you I was like
35:48like for example like if I was like
35:49describing
35:51uh sexual a sexual experience with a
35:53friend and they just like said like okay
35:55but was it was it consensual? I'd be
35:57offended because you know
36:01>> you always assume on good faith.
36:04>> Yeah, you assume on good faith
36:06>> and I mean even then you said it right
36:08here. It's consensual. I mean this would
36:10be the time more than ever to be like no
36:12it was not consensual
36:14>> and I mean even
36:16>> like I'm sorry but she like never gave
36:18me the signals like if there's because
36:20it did raise my red flags you know and
36:23so I'm bringing up consent.
36:25>> Yeah. And um she she didn't um and I'm
36:29not saying I'm not saying anything, but
36:33I can only speak for myself. What she's
36:34claiming about me right now is just
36:36[ __ ] wrong.
36:38>> Yeah.
36:39>> And back to the back to the like why
36:42didn't like some people might might say
36:46like why didn't you just straight up ask
36:49if if I knew anyone of my friends were
36:51capable of essay they'd be disposed of.
36:54That sounds kind of ominous, but um but
36:57I don't, you know, I don't know if this
36:58is this example is going to work, but
37:01but I don't walk past construction sites
37:04expecting to die in a freak accident.
37:06Like all my friends have my default
37:08trust and I don't I don't anticipate
37:11sexual assault for the exact reason
37:13that, you know, it's a serious claim. I
37:15mean, these are
37:16>> Yeah.
37:17>> friends I just met,
37:19>> friends you've known for for I mean, a
37:22while. I mean, Bren maybe less, but I
37:26mean, Zeal, I know you've known for
37:28quite some time.
37:30>> Yeah.
37:31>> Yeah.
37:31>> And and they were like shy. They were
37:35like, Z, not big on eye contact. And
37:38then Bren like super hyper. I could
37:42never keep up, you know?
37:43>> Yeah.
37:44>> And so just
37:46I
37:49we can just continue.
37:50>> Cool.
37:53Ren says he seemed like he just wanted
37:55things to be okay with me. Then Zil
37:57wants to reconnect with me. Re uh
37:59reconnect with friends. Wait, sorry. Z
38:03wants me to reconnect with friends. He
38:04wants me back and even if I don't work
38:07and they're just locking me out and it
38:09feels terrible. I feel guilty. Uh Cyborg
38:12says it doesn't feel that way.
38:15Whoa. Sorry. It takes time, Ren. I know.
38:18I just I don't want them to believe I'm
38:20trying to hurt him. I want him to learn
38:22and feel okay and safe with someone. He
38:24deserves it. He deserves
38:26>> I do want to interject like real quick
38:27because I did remove a screenshot here
38:30where I mention a few parties that I
38:34know don't want to be involved, but it
38:36was like um regarding like it was
38:40friction between Ren and like um the
38:44pressure team. If anyone's like familiar
38:46with that. Yeah.
38:47>> You know, read the sources like
38:49>> I Yeah. I'm not going to touch that, but
38:52>> cool. Got it.
38:55Yeah, because there's a little jump, but
38:56I think Yeah, that's fine.
38:59Um, I know. I just don't want them to
39:02believe I'm trying to hurt him. I want
39:04him to learn and feel okay and safe with
39:06someone. He deserves it. He deserves the
39:08world. Zeal is so [ __ ] good. I just
39:10worry I'm not enough for him or
39:13anything. Even if it's friends with
39:14benefits and he doesn't see it
39:16romantically, I don't care. I want him
39:17happy. Cyborg says, "This needs to be
39:20for you, too." Uh, I suggested her
39:23relationship needs to be romantically
39:24mutual if that's what she values. To my
39:27understanding, at the time, Zil learned
39:29into the sexual aspect, and the messages
39:31Ren communicated to me did not indicate
39:34that any concern or allegation was being
39:36raised. Cyborg says, "This needs to be
39:38for you, too." I just said that. Uh, Ren
39:41says, "He may not process things like
39:43neurotypical people, but he can be
39:45loved. He loves being loved and I do
39:48too. Uh, I am not talking about myself
39:50right now because I don't want to sound
39:52selfish, but I want him. I [ __ ] want
39:54him holding me. Cyborg, how do you Wait,
39:58how will you feel if he goes for someone
39:59else after this?
40:01>> See, that's the thing.
40:02I if he's not chasing something
40:05romantically like
40:08>> um anything serious I should say then
40:11and she is like
40:14like you know like
40:16>> Yeah.
40:17>> I I was
40:19I was always against this like every
40:22every single time. Mhm.
40:25>> And you know,
40:28and then maybe someone's maybe someone's
40:31going to be like, "Oh, well, you just
40:33wanted you wanted her like she claimed
40:37there." There there is a multiple
40:38instances where she makes advancements
40:42that I just like changed the subject on.
40:45>> Right.
40:49Yeah. I mean
40:51I mean this is Yeah.
40:54She then says, "Last night I cried so
40:57much. I opened my door. He went in and
40:59grabbed me, carried me and crashed into
41:01the bed and held me. I cried so [ __ ]
41:03much I dug my nails into him." Cyborg
41:05says, "Damn, boy." Ren says, "And he
41:08just kept breathing me in and holding me
41:10tighter. I cried so loud. He did this
41:11for me. It's just how I know he cares so
41:14much about me. He just he's just
41:15physical. He doesn't know words." Cyborg
41:18says, "Yeah."
41:21Uh, my argument was ignored. I don't
41:22really want to talk about this.
41:24>> Yeah, my argument was ignored.
41:26Unprompted. She starts recounting the
41:28other day. My responses are dry, but an
41:29objective. I've gotten tired of
41:31repeating myself. Friend says an
41:34objection, my brother.
41:37>> Go ahead.
41:40>> Oh, wait. Where were you? Wait. Oh, I
41:42thought you said introjection. I said go
41:44ahead.
41:45>> No, no, no, no. Cuz you said you said
41:47but in in objective.
41:49>> Oh, in objection. My bad. I'm check.
41:52>> Whoops. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, guys. The
41:54dyslexia got the better of me there.
41:59>> Baby, forgive you.
42:02>> Moving on. Uh, said, "I cried and
42:05screamed stuff like all I've ever wanted
42:07in life is for someone to feel strong
42:08enough to do this for me and hold me."
42:11Syber said, "I know. I can be
42:12beautiful." Ren said, "I thought I was
42:14unlovable. I thought people were scared
42:16of me." As I'm screaming so loud, my
42:18throat hurt. And he kept telling me I'm
42:20lovable. and I deserve this. This isn't
42:22just some two idiots who don't know each
42:24other, exploring each other's body. It's
42:27[ __ ] It's deeper than that. He held
42:29me and I cried for an hour and a half
42:30and we kept talking. That's nice. Friend
42:34said, "We talked so much." And after he
42:36was on top, I'll stop. After he was on
42:38top of me, he locked his fingers and
42:40hands and mine and he put his lips on my
42:42chin and it's when I knew he was trying
42:44to ask me for a kiss but without words.
42:46So, I said, "It's okay. You can kiss
42:48me." and he went in but was so dumb
42:51about it. Z was physical. He doesn't
42:53know how to talk. All of yesterday when
42:55we went out to stores and shopping, he
42:58would keep walking up to me, brushing my
43:00hand. Um, yeah, brushing my hand, and he
43:03locks his hand in mine and just holds it
43:05there. I knew he's been telling me
43:07physically outside so many times, and I
43:09read him. I understood that what he was
43:12saying without talking. He just kept
43:15touching me in my hair and my hands. in
43:17the car. He put my hand between both his
43:19hands and kept looking at me, just
43:22admired my face. Every time we sat in
43:24the car, he made sure his seat was the
43:26one next to me. He wanted to be close to
43:28me and I liked it. I loved it even. Um,
43:35>> I'm not going to say anything.
43:38>> Like, how the [ __ ] are you supposed to
43:39read this other than all right, she she
43:43likes him, I guess.
43:47Yeah, at this point I was like
43:51like any like suspicions,
43:54if I even had any to begin with, that
43:57like something was arai,
44:00I was I was like so done.
44:02>> Yeah,
44:02>> I was so done like trying to object to
44:04this. Um, you know, obviously we're
44:08we're here for a conference
44:12and you know, this is the last thing I
44:13expect and I didn't go here to monitor
44:17my what I perceived to be my friend's
44:21bad hookup.
44:22>> Right.
44:26Cyber says, "I was dragging behind the
44:27group the other day and I noticed he
44:29looked back and kind of gestured his
44:30hand to follow up faster, but he did it
44:32awkwardly and didn't get the message
44:34across. I mean, I did get the me I mean,
44:36I it did get the message across, but you
44:38know, he's shy. Says, "Yes." Uh, Cyborg
44:41says, "So mine, right?" Exactly. And I'm
44:43the complete opposite. I just care and
44:45I'm so loud about it. I will take care
44:47of everyone of redacted person of zeal
44:50of you. I'm just like the way I have
44:53three sibling the way I'm just like that
44:56because I have three siblings that I
44:57feed and take care of. It's why I just
45:00go for things like when I tried to grab
45:03the food from your hand and wanted to
45:05help you or when I wanted you to taste
45:08my food. Didn't you have a little
45:10something to say about that?
45:13>> Um
45:15Oh, the food.
45:16>> Yeah.
45:17>> Um it's just a small thing, but
45:20but like
45:24um Okay. So got to America and and man,
45:29I forgot how like big the plates were.
45:31And so I like I ordered something and I
45:33was like, "Okay, I can't finish this."
45:34And then I got a box and I was trying to
45:37[ __ ] you know, put it in the plate,
45:39right? I mean, in the box.
45:41>> Mhm.
45:42>> And Ren was like cringing and then she
45:44was like, "Oh, let me let me do it for
45:46you." I was like, "No, no, I'm good."
45:48And then she says, and then she's
45:50cringing more and then she's, "All
45:51right, let me do it for you." And then
45:53again happens again and then Zil
45:56interjects like friend respect
45:58boundaries
46:01and so yeah
46:05I I'm not you know I'm playing but
46:07that's that is what happens.
46:09>> Yeah.
46:11Okay. Interesting. Um
46:16uh I just love people. I love my
46:17friends. I care. But I'm both physically
46:19but I'm both physical and I speak. Zeal
46:21denies himself everything, but he
46:23finally felt like he was trying and he
46:25was showing me and I read him. I knew
46:27what he meant by other girls,
46:30but other but other girls wouldn't. They
46:32think he's weird or doesn't care or
46:34scary. He held me yesterday and kept
46:35saying, "I never had a girlfriend.
46:37Sorry, I don't know how to do this." And
46:38kept reassuring him, "It's okay." Or,
46:41"It's I'm like, it's okay. You're doing
46:42great." Cyborg. Oh,
46:46>> friend.
46:48Sorry.
46:51Um I Ren said I told him making me
46:54smile. I'm so happy right now. His in
46:57his ear and he'd giggle. Cyborg. Wait,
47:00seriously, Ren? He never seen this guy
47:02like that. He was so He was happy. I've
47:04never seen him like this in all the
47:06years I've known him. Does Zeal not
47:07laugh?
47:10Um, it's not like terribly expressive
47:14>> is a thing. You know, it's like people
47:17might think he's like being okay. you
47:19know, I'm talking like back then like
47:21when I you know was um
47:24you know when I was part of the team and
47:26all
47:27>> like it's a little dry in text you know
47:30>> and
47:33yeah just like that sounded like nice
47:35that sounded warm like yeah
47:36>> that was you know I was happy that Zil
47:38was happy at the time you know
47:40>> right even yeah even say here that's
47:42cute just understand that you both what
47:44you both are understand your
47:46relationship don't get too
47:47>> attached relationship Yeah, cuz you're
47:49not going to see him for a while after
47:51this.
47:52Um, Ren said, "Shit's complex. I don't
47:55get I don't get it, but as long as we're
47:56both happy, I don't care. It's fine. I
47:58will feel attached." Uh, but thing is is
48:00I'm used to feeling this way, you know?
48:02I get attached so fast, so randomly, and
48:04deal with it. But this time, it's
48:05different because I got closure.
48:07Usually, I don't. I get attached and
48:08friend-zoned. He just held me. No one
48:10ever would have done this for me. No
48:12one. Cyborg. I don't really blame him,
48:13though. A guy his size testosterone
48:15blowing through his system. I never I'd
48:18be none the wiser too, honestly.
48:21>> Okay. Yeah, that's a it's a dumb joke,
48:23but I'm just trying to like cuz like Ren
48:25is like saying like, "Oh, feels so
48:27great." And I was like, "Yeah, I mean,
48:28he's a big guy." I mean, me like being
48:31like
48:32>> kind I'm a skinny dude, right? So, like,
48:35you know, if I have a bro that's like,
48:37you know, Jim Ran, I'll be like, "Fuck
48:39yeah, man. You're built like a truck."
48:41>> Yeah. So, I know like in alleged context
48:44right now, it's like,
48:46>> you know, it's
48:48>> I've had to read that like three times
48:50and every time I read it, I I smile. It
48:52just puts a smile on my face.
48:58>> Okay.
49:00>> But,
49:00>> um,
49:01>> yeah.
49:02>> Okay.
49:04Um, Ren Ren said, "You uh you you seen
49:08him in the suite on day one when he put
49:10his head in my lap. Then when I asked
49:12for a goodbye hug, he [ __ ] grabbed me
49:14and laid down and he didn't want to let
49:16go." And said, "Tell me when to let go."
49:18That's amazing. It's when I started
49:21feeling things for him. That then the
49:24same night he texted me, "Can we do that
49:25again tomorrow but with less people
49:26because it's awkward." And that's when I
49:28knew he wanted to be in my [ __ ] bed
49:29with me. And I was like, "Sure." He's a
49:31big guy pretending he doesn't want
49:33comfort, but he [ __ ] loves it.
49:35Cyborg. Yeah, I was surprised.
49:37Um, and then
49:40>> the recounting of like the sweet in the
49:43I think she referred to it as like the
49:46sweet incident.
49:47>> Yes.
49:49>> Yeah.
49:50>> Okay.
49:51>> Um,
49:52>> I don't know if I need to. Please
49:54understand that these messages of mine
49:55reflect my lack of awareness of any
49:57serious issue at the time. I was
49:58responding casually under the impression
50:00I was being told about a normal
50:01situation in the exploration of new
50:03feelings. Yeah. Okay. I mean, they
50:06should not be interpreted as
50:08indifference towards serious matters,
50:09but rather as a reflection of the
50:11information available to me at the time.
50:14I was not aware of any allegation. If I
50:16had been made aware of any concern or
50:17allegation, I would have to responded
50:19differently.
50:21All right.
50:25>> All right. Ren recounted day one
50:28described as a sweet incident. Cyborg,
50:30yeah, I was surprised, but makes sense,
50:32honestly. Ren, that's not something
50:34normal friends do. Uh, Cyborg says, "I
50:36didn't make it awkward." Uh, Ren, but I
50:39guess one thing that made me feel weird
50:42is when I asked him, "Would you do this
50:44with other friends?" And he said, "If
50:45they ask Cyborg, okay, never mind. I
50:49said gay." Ren said, "It's funny
50:51though." It was funny. I know. Well,
50:53hey, I'm happy. I'm happy you're happy.
50:55I'm gonna get my hair done. Ren says,
50:57"I'm I hope this eased your mind a bit
51:01that it's not just out of the blue and
51:04coffee." Uh,
51:07what?
51:10Yeah. Um,
51:12like, sorry, I'm just thinking back to
51:14like what she's saying about me,
51:17right?
51:18>> And
51:20she literally argues against me. So, I
51:23just, you know, I just let it go here.
51:27>> Says it's been building up or it's it's
51:29been like building up. Cyborg, I mean, I
51:32don't am now you guys had fun, you know,
51:34just don't fall off a cliff cuz you
51:36weren't looking at your feet. Good
51:38analogy, Ren. No, I just don't want you
51:42Excuse me. I don't want you worried. I I
51:44Wait, I don't want you worried. I'll
51:46make sure he's okay. I'll take care of
51:47him. It's what I do best. Taking care of
51:50people is my specialty. That's awesome.
51:52And Adorbzy's Ren and Blank like [ __ ]
51:56figured it out by himself because he's
51:58smart. He was like, "Zo is a good man
52:00and I'm happy you guys are happy. I
52:03don't care if it's like not romantic or
52:05anything. It's just cozy." Cozy and not
52:07uncomfy and weird. That's what confuses
52:10me cuz she said like him saying that
52:14like if they ask, you know, if someone
52:16asks you all to like do like the
52:18cuddling, I assume the cuddling
52:21>> uh stuff. Um that she said she felt
52:25weird about that, but then she's saying
52:28that like she doesn't care if it's not
52:30romantic,
52:31>> right?
52:32>> So, again,
52:34I I I know I'm being I'm like giving
52:37disclaimers every time. I talk about
52:39something that could like shake the bag,
52:42you know, mix the bag up about like this
52:44whole situation, but
52:47like genuinely I I can't hold myself
52:49here. It just doesn't make sense to me.
52:52>> No, it's comfort. I just hope to teach
52:56him this [ __ ] It isn't some task with
52:58steps because it's how he in his tism
53:01processes it. He's so dumb dumb. He
53:03needs time. Cyborg, take care of
53:04yourself, too. Um, what's it called?
53:07Brenn says, "I'm happy when people are
53:09happy." Uh, I'm kind of I'm kind of
53:11learning, too. Learning makes me happy.
53:13If I'm honest with you, he's been on my
53:15mind right now. He's been on my mind
53:16right now and won't [ __ ] leave cuz
53:18I'm thinking so much about tonight and
53:20I'm wondering if he is too. Are you
53:22seeing him today? Definitely is. Yeah.
53:25Makeshift dinner and Dave and Busters
53:26and Roblox Mixer. Ren says, "Can you
53:30tell me if he looks or acts any
53:32differently? I'm just curious at all."
53:34That's all. Cyborg, you're so dumb.
53:36Yeah, sure. I'll fail. Ren, I'm sorry.
53:40Uh, Cyborg, I don't mind, Ren. Just take
53:43care of him. Yeah, just take care of
53:44him. Uh, this pattern continues until
53:48the next day. Read more in day four.
53:49Summary of claim one. I was informed of
53:52interactions, but not of any allegation.
53:54I was I responded based on what was said
53:57to me. I expressed uncertainty and
53:59concern about the situationship.
54:02All right. So for claim two what we are
54:06going to be doing because there is
54:07information in here but as we kind of
54:09kept going we realized it was a lot of
54:11bloat
54:13um this will be publicly available so
54:15you guys are welcome to go through all
54:16this uh but this is a lot of like pretz
54:22basically this uh this little section
54:24right here Ren's confession rejection uh
54:26and then Ren blocks cyborg on August
54:2911th which if anybody has been keeping
54:31track of is the same date that she
54:34breached back out the zeal. So,
54:36coincidence? I think not.
54:40Sorry, I had to say it.
54:44>> Let's see.
54:46Ren said, "Why didn't you sleep?"
54:48Cyborg. Yeah, I'm way too self-conscious
54:50about that, too. That sounds so
54:53pretentious. And then responding to,
54:55"It's true. Being female around males is
54:57kind of scary, but don't worry about
54:58yourself. You're actually chill." Ren,
55:00hypothetically, hypothetically, do you
55:01feel gay around non-binary females or
55:04you good with them or just women or
55:06what's uh cyborg? I don't understand
55:09this. I don't know. Uh Ren, do you mean
55:13when you say you're not gay, you're
55:15talking about AAB people or just all
55:18masculine people? Even nonb even
55:20non-binary mas aabs
55:23question mark. Me cyborg, would you feel
55:25gay if you went on a date with me,
55:28cyborg? [ __ ] Cyborg says, "Ren com."
55:33I'm not even going to try reading that.
55:35Gay. Like what? Uh, Ren, idiot. You hate
55:38being gay, so I'm like, I use he
55:41pronouns. Would that make you gay? Or
55:44you told me you're straight last year.
55:45That's why I'm asking.
55:48Um,
55:50then the next screenshot
55:52is
55:54tell me gay. That's why I'm asking.
55:55What? Wait, let me let me go. Let me go
55:59to the bruh. No, you didn't. No. Did
56:03Holy [ __ ] No, didn't. NO, YOU
56:07UH YOU DID, didn't you? Uh Ren, don't
56:10run right now, bro. I'm asking you a
56:12question. Uh Cyborg, I'm by Oh, cool.
56:14Cool. Good to know. Good to know.
56:16Cyborg, also not really ready. Hello. Do
56:20you like anyone right now? No, I'm
56:21actually I actually got out of a
56:23relationship recently. I don't know if I
56:24told you. I'm so I'm still sad.
56:30Um, Ren, wait, what? Let me make you
56:33unsad. I like making people smile. Uh,
56:35you're so dumb. I'm sorry. So much to
56:37say, but yeah, I read you, Ren. I don't
56:40know if I said anything offensive. I'm
56:42really sorry. Uh, Cyborg, calm down. I'm
56:44just thinking at Ren. Ren. Oh, wait. I'm
56:47about to Z. Uh, Ren. Yeah, boy.
56:55Uh, Ren says, "Sup." Supper says, "So,
56:57not good night. You're okay." Okay. And
57:00then almost an hour and 20 minutes
57:02later, I'm really sorry. I've been
57:04extremely pushy and I thought it's just
57:07how you get to like me maybe, but I've
57:10been really kind of harassing you now.
57:12And I realize with how
57:15pressuring I've been. Uh, I'll add you
57:18back. Let me make sure the screenshots's
57:21in [ __ ] frame because oh my god, my
57:24stupid monitor isn't picking this up. I
57:26had to move that over. Um, I've been
57:30really uh extremely pushy and I thought
57:32it's just how to get you to like me
57:35maybe, but I've only been really kind of
57:37harassing you now. And I realize with
57:39how pressuring I've been, I'll add you
57:41back sometime, but until then, I should
57:43fix my brain and give you a break, too.
57:44I'm really sorry. I genuinely didn't
57:46mean to push you in a bad way and don't
57:50listen to you and thought if I tried
57:52hard enough you'd like me you'd like me
57:56like that but I understand [ __ ] really
57:58wrong and I'm really really sorry about
57:59that. I'll talk to you later when I
58:01manage to fix up my feelings and make
58:02them go away so I don't keep harassing
58:04you over it because I tend to get
58:06overboard. I just never learn.
58:11>> Yeah. Um, uh, I didn't really have a
58:13chance to like,
58:15you know,
58:16>> yeah,
58:17>> give my my word here and she just
58:20blocked me. And then
58:23just for the sake of time, she does
58:25block me again cuz I had like an ear
58:27infection.
58:28>> I just I didn't was in the mood to talk
58:29to anyone.
58:31>> Also, that was like when she blocked me,
58:34I was like, "Okay, maybe I shouldn't be
58:36too comfortable."
58:38>> Right.
58:39>> Right. And so,
58:42>> okay,
58:42>> anyways,
58:44>> you Yeah, Cyborg responds with, "I'm not
58:46really about whenever or whether I like
58:49you or not. I'm just not thinking about
58:51that stuff right now. Before you block
58:52me, I was going to compliment you and
58:53let you down easy, but right now I feel
58:55like you should get that from yourself.
58:57Also, by the way, you take things really
58:59fast. I'm not terribly uncomfortable.
59:01I'm happy to clear the air. Like, we're
59:03still just good of friends, bro. Chill
59:05out." Cyborg, I'm not sure if that makes
59:07it worse or better.
59:09Excuse me, but I think you're very cute
59:11and thoughtful, but to be honest, that's
59:13not worth half the compliments you gave
59:15me. Thanks for talking to me when I'm
59:17down. I don't see our friendship as
59:19fake. But, and just in case, uh, don't
59:22leave this with bad confidence. I'm just
59:25a dumb guy who's still grieving and
59:26doesn't want to think about that kind of
59:28stuff or that type of stuff. Uh, this is
59:31better for me. I don't regret talking to
59:32you. I'm not going to bother convincing
59:34you more. Uh, if there's anything else,
59:36my ears are open, but holy [ __ ] I'm
59:38tired. I understand. I need some time
59:40for myself. I'm really sorry, Cyborg. I
59:43really want you to be happy, Ren. Thank
59:44you. You, too, Cyborg. I'm serious. I
59:47know you are. I just need time for the
59:48for to I just need some time to sort
59:52myself out. Thank you.
59:54Okay.
59:56>> Then after that blocks you again, and
59:58then
1:00:00>> and then comes back.
1:00:01>> Comes back,
1:00:02>> invites me to your server. Okay. And
1:00:05like I said, these will all be publicly.
1:00:07You guys can go and look at them, but
1:00:10for time sake because we will be here
1:00:12all night if I go through them all. All
1:00:14righty. Um, anyway, Ren's advances
1:00:19during RDC moments in RDC where I didn't
1:00:21return Ren's advances teases. Um, Cyborg
1:00:24says, "La,
1:00:26bro, looked it up." Uh, Ren, I knew that
1:00:29for years. Ah, well, now demiexual. Bye.
1:00:32Like I wouldn't give a [ __ ] if if you
1:00:36Sorry, hit me in the face like a
1:00:37whiplash. Like I wouldn't give a [ __ ] if
1:00:40you made a move. You probably wouldn't
1:00:42though. Yeah, you definitely need some
1:00:44sleep, idiot. Ren. Uh shi. Hey. Hi. I'm
1:00:50not weirded out. Okay, but you do need
1:00:52sleep. Keyboard smashes.
1:00:57>> Um important caption.
1:01:00>> Red making advances. I deflected. This
1:01:02is right after she described her
1:01:04encounter with Zal. Oh, yeah. It is
1:01:06>> first encounter.
1:01:07>> Oh, the first encounter.
1:01:10>> Yeah.
1:01:11>> Oh my god, you're [ __ ] right. Yeah,
1:01:13it is. Cuz if your time zone is
1:01:15converted. Yeah.
1:01:18>> Holy [ __ ]
1:01:22Right after This is right after y'all's
1:01:24encounter.
1:01:28>> Right after Wait, wait, hold on. Let me
1:01:30say that.
1:01:30>> What? This this was this was right after
1:01:33Ren and Zal's first encounter.
1:01:38>> Yeah, this was right after she
1:01:40explained, you know, what I was saying
1:01:42earlier that she kind of explained like
1:01:44there being no connection.
1:01:46>> Yeah.
1:01:48>> Like it was like a sparkless fling.
1:01:52>> Holy [ __ ]
1:01:53>> That's what I gather from it. You know,
1:01:55it's uh
1:01:58>> Ren uh she said, "I want you. I want
1:02:01you. I wanted you for a while, idiot. A
1:02:03year." Cyborg dog. I'm just being real.
1:02:05You just You need to just get the [ __ ]
1:02:07out of that shitty place and find
1:02:08someone IRL. This [ __ ] will only end in
1:02:12disaster. This sucks. It It has already.
1:02:14And I know it'll take a while. I mean,
1:02:16it's the same for me. Moving will suck,
1:02:18but I finally have a job, which makes
1:02:21things easier. Not even like a deep
1:02:23connection thing. I'm just curious about
1:02:25you. That's all. What the? I want ice
1:02:29cream so bad. Cyborg, I know, but
1:02:32there's like no time. I'm not even
1:02:36trying to make excuses. Ren, it's fine,
1:02:38man. I got ahead of myself. My replies
1:02:40here are neutral and often redirective.
1:02:43Redirective.
1:02:44I did not reciprocate these comments. In
1:02:46some cases, I changed the subject to
1:02:48avoid engaging like this engaging with
1:02:50us.
1:02:52Ren, you feeling okay? Oh, Cyborg, I
1:02:54want to make the most of it. My anxiety
1:02:56isn't like I don't know if you get it,
1:02:58but I'm thinking too much that I don't
1:03:02get anything done. You know, Ren, come
1:03:05here. Let me make you stop feeling shy.
1:03:06Just kidding. Boy, what boy? I'm sad.
1:03:10I'm so sad. Why? I'm only fun when I
1:03:13drink. No, you're always fun. No. God,
1:03:16being a [ __ ] alcohol obsessed. That's
1:03:18so cringe.
1:03:21Ren said, "I guess being cute makes up
1:03:23for it." Zeal, I don't know. He like,
1:03:25"One moment he tells me he loves me and
1:03:27the next he tells me he never wants to
1:03:28see my face ever again." And it makes me
1:03:30cry, but I don't want him to know. He
1:03:33tells me, "Don't look at me in public. I
1:03:36don't want to see you. Stay away from me
1:03:38in my group."
1:03:42Uh,
1:03:42>> yeah. And then I say like, well, it's
1:03:43not like out of hate because I already
1:03:45have like a
1:03:48like some doubt for this right off the
1:03:51bat. I'm assuming she's exaggerating
1:03:53because I don't think Zeal would say
1:03:56something like that. That's just, you
1:03:58know, you're you got to be like a
1:04:01straightup [ __ ]
1:04:02>> Yeah. And again, back to the thing with
1:04:05the tension between, you know, staff,
1:04:08some members of the staff and Ren that I
1:04:11think some people are familiar with.
1:04:13Um,
1:04:15Zeal just didn't want that friction,
1:04:19you know, being something in real life,
1:04:21you know,
1:04:22>> because like I I think maybe she's
1:04:25taking she's taking this like, oh, we we
1:04:28don't, hey, don't don't come near us at
1:04:32RDC. These people don't like you as
1:04:36stay the [ __ ] away from me. I never want
1:04:38to see your face again.
1:04:41It's just about like boundaries.
1:04:44>> Yeah,
1:04:46that's pretty evil. But, uh,
1:04:50again, like I don't have like any proof
1:04:52that like Zil did not say this, but like
1:04:54that is that is what I assumed and
1:04:57just that's just so unlikely that
1:05:01>> Yeah, I don't know. Doesn't doesn't seem
1:05:04likely,
1:05:06right?
1:05:08Sorry, I'm trying to move this [ __ ] real
1:05:10time. Anyway, um Ren asking me Ren
1:05:15asking me over after saying her and Zil
1:05:18are over. Ren, this week was one in a
1:05:21lifetime fantasy. Cyborg, I'm jealous.
1:05:23[ __ ] hell. I could have had someone
1:05:25if it wasn't for my parents. I could
1:05:26have totally been with someone. Sorry, I
1:05:28know it's not about me. Uh Ren, is your
1:05:32mom still not allowing you past curfew?
1:05:34No, I just don't care anymore. Well, she
1:05:36doesn't really. When I'm finally out,
1:05:39she's kind of like comes to terms with
1:05:40me being gone. Ren, and come over, I
1:05:43guess, if you want to. I don't mind.
1:05:50Yeah. And this is also
1:05:53this is also after Zil had turned down
1:05:57another night.
1:06:00And
1:06:02you know, there's there's
1:06:05You know, that'll be covered in the full
1:06:07recounting,
1:06:09>> right? Um, I probably should. Why not?
1:06:12I'm not getting in the way of you and
1:06:14Zeal. I know no one said it wasn't
1:06:16platonic, but it's just too much right
1:06:18now. I don't want him anymore. He kind
1:06:21of told me he doesn't care last night
1:06:22anyway. He just said when he gets home,
1:06:25he doesn't really think about me. Probs.
1:06:27Just a tism thing. He seems to care
1:06:30here,
1:06:32though.
1:06:36Um, okay. Pause.
1:06:39>> Yeah.
1:06:42>> Interesting.
1:06:43>> Um, right here.
1:06:46Oh, sorry. Yeah. Uh, Ren confesses a
1:06:49second time. He seems to care though.
1:06:51But it's over. It's done. What matters
1:06:52right now? I accidentally
1:06:56uh looped the screenshots here. So,
1:06:58that's just an error within my
1:07:00>> Okay.
1:07:02>> my time. So, we're gonna skip over that.
1:07:04>> All right, Dub. Yeah, we already went
1:07:05through this. Uh, I want you It's like
1:07:08literally right up here. I like We just
1:07:10read this.
1:07:14Um,
1:07:16but anyway, uh, uh, well, underneath
1:07:19I'll read this screenshot right
1:07:20underneath. He seems to care though, but
1:07:23it's over. It's done. What matters right
1:07:24now is that we're both sitting around
1:07:26feeling lonely and miserable. I'm sorry.
1:07:28I'm saying right now. Ah, yeah. No, I'm
1:07:30in bed and I need you'll wake up damn
1:07:34dumb. All right, you don't need me. And
1:07:37then it goes into I wanted you. I wanted
1:07:38you for a while. And then we'll skip
1:07:40this cuz I
1:07:43>> um let's see here. Dismissive of my
1:07:46advice. I changed the subject to focus
1:07:48on solutions uh to her livelihood.
1:07:52Summary of claim two. I did not make any
1:07:53statement or joke about joining a sexual
1:07:55interaction. I did not express interest
1:07:57in Ren in that matter. I did not
1:08:00reciprocate or escalate suggestive
1:08:02comments. I declined invitations and set
1:08:04boundaries. My response consistently
1:08:06reflects uh reflect attempts to
1:08:08disengage and change the topic. Claim
1:08:11three, allegation of attempting to
1:08:12conceal information.
1:08:14Um claim I did not attempt to cover up
1:08:17or conceal an alleged assault. I did not
1:08:19attempt to conceal or cover up any
1:08:20allegation. At the time of these
1:08:22conversations, I was not aware of any
1:08:23allegation of non-consensual acts. Once
1:08:26again, my understanding of the situation
1:08:27was based entirely on what was
1:08:29communicated to me directly. I wanted to
1:08:32maintain privacy around personal
1:08:34information, and I had believed it was a
1:08:36private and sensitive matter, not an
1:08:38alleged assault. None of those concerns
1:08:39were brought to me at the time. I wanted
1:08:42to prevent the spread of sensitive
1:08:43details regarding one's sexual life. At
1:08:45no point was I aware of, informed of, or
1:08:48attempted to conceal any allegation. If
1:08:50I had been aware of such concern, I
1:08:52would not have responded the same way.
1:08:54where Ren's claims stem from. Note, some
1:08:56messages included below contain phrases
1:08:58like don't tell anyone or keep this
1:08:59private. These comments need to be
1:09:01understood in the context of uh bullet
1:09:04point one conversations involving
1:09:06personal topics, attempt to prevent
1:09:08unnecessary spread of private info. My
1:09:11understanding at the time was I was
1:09:13being told private intimate details of a
1:09:16personal situation, not an alleged
1:09:19assault. These comments were not
1:09:21intended to suppress or conceal
1:09:22wrongdoing.
1:09:26Uh almost out of water. Um let's see. I
1:09:31don't know who says this, but it looks
1:09:34like Ren. But yeah, I went from like
1:09:37crying and covered in hugs to him taking
1:09:39off my clothes and taking his shirt off
1:09:41and doing random [ __ ] And I'm like,
1:09:43"All right, well, he's trying his best,
1:09:44but like
1:09:46>> um let's see." He said, "Oh, okay. I
1:09:49shouldn't know. LFAO. I don't know. I
1:09:51just don't tell him I know cuz uh I'm
1:09:54trying to process it. Cyborg, don't tell
1:09:56anyone. Ren, of course I won't. Cyborg,
1:09:59it'll be Armageddon. Be Ren told me he
1:10:01told me this dies with us. I'm like, of
1:10:03course, Cyborg, seriously, bro, you're
1:10:05an idiot.
1:10:10Um,
1:10:14okay. I'm not going to lie. Uh, and I
1:10:17even said this to you like the first
1:10:18time around. Like when I when I first
1:10:20read that, my first thing was like whoa.
1:10:22You know,
1:10:25>> like how so?
1:10:26>> Like, you know, and I I know it comes up
1:10:29later, but like, you know, you read that
1:10:31and you're like, okay, wait, what? Just
1:10:34started doing random [ __ ]
1:10:37>> I think it's
1:10:37>> Yeah, it's um this is the first
1:10:39encounter that she's describing.
1:10:41>> Yeah.
1:10:42>> Um Yeah. And I
1:10:47Okay. Like I I hate to bring up high
1:10:50school again, but you know, sex gossip,
1:10:52it's not good for anyone. And for what I
1:10:54was gathering at the time, you know, and
1:10:57like the tone here,
1:11:01>> it's um
1:11:06>> your first instinct. Yeah. Like the
1:11:07analogy you gave earlier, you walk past
1:11:09the construction site, you don't expect
1:11:11to die.
1:11:14>> Yeah.
1:11:16I responded to what I believe was
1:11:17private personal info. My suggestion to
1:11:19keep it private was based on my
1:11:20discomfort while with discussing
1:11:22intimate details and my desire to avoid
1:11:24spreading private information. At no
1:11:26point was this presented to me as an
1:11:28allegation or concern. If it had been, I
1:11:30would not have approached the situation
1:11:32this way. That's cool. Maybe guys with
1:11:34guys is just easier, I guess. Maybe
1:11:36because I'm female, it's not easier.
1:11:38Cyborg. Hey, but seriously, I'm going to
1:11:40act like this didn't happen and from now
1:11:42on pretend I don't know. Ren, oh my god,
1:11:44bro. I'm remembering dumb [ __ ] Zil said
1:11:46during his trial and error. He's like,
1:11:48"Well, that's not not like porn."
1:11:52Jesus. Uh, Cy Cyborg land. Also, don't
1:11:55break promises like this. I know, you
1:11:56know, I'm chilling, but you know, Ren,
1:11:58it wasn't a promise. And this was right
1:12:01after, right?
1:12:03>> Yeah. Yeah, it was.
1:12:08>> Oh, I can't make that. I can't make the
1:12:10joke. Um, Ren, it wasn't a promise. He
1:12:12did not promise. if it was a promise.
1:12:15All right, Cyborg, I mean dies with you,
1:12:18Ren. He just said, "Don't talk about
1:12:20this with anyone." Okay. Oh, yeah. That
1:12:22he obviously doesn't want you to tell
1:12:24anyone, bro. This would shatter him,
1:12:26Ren. I just I just don't know how else
1:12:28to process what happened. It's about me,
1:12:30too, bro. Cyborg, he'd probably not talk
1:12:33to me the same way.
1:12:36Um, Ran, I feel so bad for him right
1:12:38now. Like, I feel nothing for myself. I
1:12:40don't care, but he must been feeling
1:12:42terrible and he feels guilty like he
1:12:44committed a crime when it's not that
1:12:47serious. Cyborg, just please keep this
1:12:49under wraps. Ren, of course, Cyborg, if
1:12:52you need to talk about it with someone,
1:12:53you can talk to me. Uh, Ren, dude, you
1:12:55probably hurt himself over this. I don't
1:12:57want that. Cyber, I do feel guilty and
1:13:00burdened for knowing. It's fine though
1:13:01because I have so many secrets people
1:13:04have told me, Ren said. Okay. Uh, no,
1:13:07it's like easier to click and delete. I
1:13:08remember not sure. Damn, I
1:13:11again I wish I
1:13:14>> I feel lonely again. I wish I could
1:13:16sleep next to someone. This was like um
1:13:19>> that was that night after the sexual
1:13:21encounter still.
1:13:23>> Gotcha.
1:13:23>> Um
1:13:25>> Cyber said, "Call Zil. I'm going to take
1:13:26my makeup off and shower, then sleep.
1:13:28Good night, friend." Okay. I'm worried
1:13:30about Zil. He'll be okay. Just don't
1:13:31talk about this with anyone. I don't
1:13:33want to stress you out, but I need you
1:13:34to promise because I really care about
1:13:36you and Zeal and I want to keep being
1:13:38friends. I don't have anyone else
1:13:40offline and for the sake of the game and
1:13:43everyone working on it, please re please
1:13:46re please re rely on this game and if
1:13:50somehow
1:13:51>> people rely on this game
1:13:52>> oh sorry I just it's it's late. Uh
1:13:55people rely on this game. If somehow
1:13:56someone finds out then Zil loses his
1:13:58part in leadership. I don't know anyone
1:14:01who would want to keep working. I'm so
1:14:03serious. I'm not trying to scare you but
1:14:04I'm scared myself. Everything will be
1:14:06fine. I just really need to remind you
1:14:07this is why Zeal was so afraid. I know
1:14:10you've been unstable in the past.
1:14:14>> Mhm.
1:14:16>> Uh expressed concern about reputational
1:14:17and interpersonal consequences, not
1:14:19awareness of wrongdoing. I was focused
1:14:21on avoiding unnecessary public
1:14:22discussion to prevent conflicts. I
1:14:25wanted the team environment to remain
1:14:27professional and not give the impression
1:14:28that the team slept together. This
1:14:30context is important. I did not want the
1:14:32full context of the situation. I was not
1:14:34informed of any allegation. I was re I
1:14:37was reacting in real time to partial
1:14:39info. Because of this, my responses are
1:14:41misinformed. They are not intended to
1:14:43conceal conceal an assault.
1:14:47Uh I know you've been unstable in the
1:14:48past. You've heard people rinse. I
1:14:50promise. I already forgot and just woke
1:14:52up. Good song. What's your plans for
1:14:54today? My bestie is arriving on 100 p.m.
1:14:58Uh if you don't have any plans, want to
1:14:59meet up uh today whenever, let me know.
1:15:02Don't hesitate.
1:15:04Yeah. Um I do think it's very important
1:15:06for me to include this and I get it like
1:15:08but the alleged the alleged context that
1:15:12you know
1:15:14that's you know in the air today like
1:15:16that's like any outsider is going to
1:15:18probably like look at this and be like
1:15:19oh why are you so paranoid?
1:15:22But if you know anything about Precious
1:15:25history, like just like non-stop like
1:15:27controversy and in my opinion some
1:15:29nothing burgers. And so like you know
1:15:33Ren kind of like told me very loosely. I
1:15:36was like yeah like
1:15:39all right well you know don't talk too
1:15:40loosely about it you know. Yeah. It
1:15:43doesn't need like we don't need the that
1:15:46you slept with somebody getting out and
1:15:49then it's like oh well Zil just wants to
1:15:51[ __ ] all of his co-workers or something
1:15:54>> or just like anyone like
1:15:56>> okay
1:15:56>> just like sex gossip like if anyone is
1:15:59familiar sex gossip is just unhealthy
1:16:00for everyone. Yeah,
1:16:02>> it sucks. And you know it destroys
1:16:04friend groups
1:16:06and you know if I you know okay this is
1:16:11what I knew is that like it was
1:16:13consensual but if I hadn't like known
1:16:16Zil like if it wasn't like a like
1:16:17friends with him and I was just like a
1:16:20like a part-time employee and I heard
1:16:22about you know a boss you know slept
1:16:26with a a former co-orker like I don't
1:16:28know if I would I don't know if I would
1:16:30want to work for the game anymore you
1:16:32know I wouldn't be totally comfortable
1:16:33for sure you know but because you you
1:16:36know during this time was my friend you
1:16:39know I was like all right whatever you
1:16:41know
1:16:42>> okay
1:16:43>> I I was against what
1:16:45>> I think you even ask in this convers I
1:16:47know it's not provided right here but I
1:16:49think you even ask in this conversation
1:16:50if it's consensual
1:16:52>> if I'm not mistaken
1:16:53>> yes I do well I don't ask but I say like
1:16:57cuz when she started describing
1:16:58something akin to you know pity sex
1:17:02Yeah.
1:17:02>> You know, that's when it becomes
1:17:04question questionable because, you know,
1:17:06like you do, do you value yourself?
1:17:08>> Yeah.
1:17:08>> You know, and so that's when I say like
1:17:10as long as it's consensual
1:17:13and she didn't give me any signals.
1:17:17>> Gotcha. Privacy versus concealment.
1:17:20Encouraging privacy around personal
1:17:21matters is not equivalent to concealing
1:17:23wrongdoing. My person my comments were
1:17:25made under the belief that one, I was
1:17:27being told of a private consensual
1:17:30interaction. to sharing it broadly would
1:17:32cause harm and unnecessary conflict. My
1:17:34comments were not made with knowledge of
1:17:36any alleged incident. Respectfully, Ren
1:17:38thinks out loud, so I asked naturally.
1:17:40Also,
1:17:42it was one of my attempts to change the
1:17:44subject. This was not me abiding by a
1:17:47[ __ ] up bro code. Zeal was unaware I
1:17:50knew of their encounter until two weeks
1:17:51after RDC. Summary of claim three.
1:17:54>> Yeah, that's important.
1:17:55>> Yeah.
1:17:58Uh summary of claim three. I was not
1:18:00aware of any allegation. I did not
1:18:02attempt to conceal any wrongdoings. My
1:18:03comments were focused on privacy, not to
1:18:05suppress. Um
1:18:08my actions were based on an incomplete
1:18:10understanding at the time. Conclusion.
1:18:12From the pos from the pos Oh my god.
1:18:15From the positive conversations we've
1:18:17had, I was under no impression that an
1:18:19alleged essay had occurred. I'm being
1:18:22accused of compl
1:18:24sorry complicity. I think I'm saying
1:18:26that right. Sorry, guys. Um,
1:18:30been looking at words for a minute. Then
1:18:32at some point, wanting to join Zeal on
1:18:35the alleged assault and passing it as a
1:18:38joke, Ren says, "I deleted evidence of
1:18:40thus, but my behavior in our DM
1:18:42suggested I never say that. Given my
1:18:44discomfort in sexual matters, my
1:18:46disproval of perceived relationships,
1:18:47and lack of alleged context, I do not
1:18:50engage in the alleged behavior. My
1:18:51statements and actions reflect my
1:18:53understanding at the time, not awareness
1:18:55of any allegation. These claims are all
1:18:58false.
1:19:01>> Oh,
1:19:02>> that's that's false claims and rumors.
1:19:05Now we got to
1:19:06>> now that means Yeah.
1:19:09>> Yeah.
1:19:11>> Okay.
1:19:12>> Do you want to pause here?
1:19:14>> Pause for a second.
1:19:17>> All righty. Going on to RDC recounts.
1:19:20Note that the dates are one day ahead
1:19:21because of my current time zone, GMT +
1:19:248. Uh, no matter how these DMs look, I
1:19:26am not implying that the alleged assault
1:19:28didn't happen. This is my only
1:19:29recounting of events. Day one, sweet
1:19:31incident. This is on the second. Said,
1:19:33"Want to meet up? Me and Z are going to
1:19:34hang out with hang out after he works
1:19:36out and showers." Sub says, "When is
1:19:38that?" Well, also where he's going to
1:19:40work out and shower right now. He said,
1:19:42"Oh, today at the hotel lobby. We can
1:19:44meet up and mess around outside, take a
1:19:46cab, go random places. It's what it's
1:19:49what I've been doing today." Sober says,
1:19:51"Who's going to be there?" Ren says me
1:19:53zeal and redacted person just want to
1:19:56say I might be a bit because this was a
1:20:00short notice. Elmo Mayo Ren says take
1:20:03your time bro. We at Target shopping for
1:20:05random snacks. You can join us later and
1:20:07need snacks with us and be unhealthy as
1:20:09[ __ ] We're just we just having fun. We
1:20:12just finished shopping heading back to
1:20:13drop snacks off to go to Marriott. Where
1:20:15are you at, bro? We downstairs. Cyborg
1:20:18says
1:20:19I'm home. Thanks for the food. Um, Ren
1:20:23says, "You're so silly. Meeting you was
1:20:25super awesome." You're awesome. Sends a
1:20:27gift. Cyborg, you're so awesome. Thanks
1:20:29for hanging. Return to my room. Day two,
1:20:31first sexual encounter. Uh, arranging
1:20:34dinner. Or before this, it says, "I
1:20:36hadn't joined uh the day's hangout due
1:20:38to miscommunication. So, we agreed to an
1:20:40evening dinner. I suggested a place with
1:20:42light drinks available." Ren voiced
1:20:44curiosity to which I strictly say no.
1:20:47Uh, Cyber says, "Who's invited?" Ren
1:20:49says, "Want to come over?" Uh, the I I
1:20:52just call this [ __ ] the fanboy face,
1:20:54bro. It's just us, Cyborg.
1:20:57I didn't know y'all was hanging out.
1:20:59Well, uh, Ren, oh, we sort of just let
1:21:02anyone join whenever they want to. We're
1:21:04going to get food and then split the
1:21:05rest. We'll be uh we we've
1:21:08been out since 9:00 a.m. Cyborg. Oh,
1:21:11what you been up to uh today? Literally
1:21:14nothing. What? Damn, I'm bummed out.
1:21:16It's not the end. Well, there's the rest
1:21:18of the day. I don't know. Everyone's
1:21:21just taking a break now. I mean, I
1:21:23thought I was going to be notified. If
1:21:24you want to hang out, it's fine, too.
1:21:26Well, you can just go rest up. It's
1:21:28fine, though. Yeah. I'm going to do
1:21:31[ __ ] voices. I'm tire I'm tired of
1:21:32doing this like on and off [ __ ] So, I'm
1:21:34just going to do voices. All right.
1:21:35Ren's gonna be Deku and Cyborg, you're
1:21:38going to be Bakugo. So, all right.
1:21:43>> Oh, you should have told me. I wasn't
1:21:45told you. Zoo kept [ __ ] spam calling
1:21:47me today. That's how uh I don't like to
1:21:49bother you.
1:21:55Where would we have dinner, Ren? No
1:21:57idea. You know how it is. I suggested
1:22:00Italian. They like the idea. What you
1:22:01think? Any ideas? Just anywhere I can
1:22:03get a light drink to be honest. I'm not
1:22:05getting shitfaced. Duh. Just to crease
1:22:07the gears. Hope you don't mind. Lol.
1:22:10Why? Yeah. Reducted. Oh my god, dude.
1:22:16>> I'm sorry. It makes it so much easier,
1:22:18bro.
1:22:20>> Yeah, maybe just a little light on it.
1:22:22Like, holy [ __ ] I mean, I guess the
1:22:25fatigue is is uh it's coming.
1:22:30>> Um,
1:22:30>> okay. Okay,
1:22:33man. Ren, drank before. You all know
1:22:37what it's like. I don't Ren, I've been
1:22:39drinking for a year. Ren, let's sip and
1:22:41kill him. Uh, sorry. I said I wouldn't
1:22:43do that. A sip won't kill me, would it?
1:22:46It affects everyone differently, and I
1:22:47know how emotional you are. You're not
1:22:49in the right place for that. You need to
1:22:50believe me. Like, ala affects everyone
1:22:53diff. It turns my uncle to an actual
1:22:55psychopath. Some others it can awaken
1:22:57your I won't say that. Uh, or I
1:23:00>> Yeah, I didn't know that was a
1:23:01derogatory
1:23:03word at the time.
1:23:04>> Yeah, I didn't either.
1:23:06>> That's my bad.
1:23:07>> I just won't say it. Or I think it was
1:23:10weed. I don't know. but could also maybe
1:23:12just chill. I will literally walk out if
1:23:15you take a sip. I'm serious. Okay. Not
1:23:18that I don't trust you, dummy. Like
1:23:20actually genuinely care. Ren, I know
1:23:23you're being protective, but like I'm
1:23:25just curious. That's why. I'm curious.
1:23:27What would I be like? Cuz cuz I could
1:23:30never know. Cat cat piss and vomit.
1:23:33Ren's temptation.
1:23:34>> I thought she was asking about like the
1:23:36taste. Yeah,
1:23:37>> that I'm being an idiot. I was being an
1:23:38idiot. But yeah, like I was the one that
1:23:41told her not to drink.
1:23:43So
1:23:44>> yeah,
1:23:45>> she said like, "Oh, I was told it wasn't
1:23:46like yummy juice."
1:23:49>> It wasn't,
1:23:50>> you know, and that that was that was me.
1:23:52>> Yeah. Ren's temptation to try booze
1:23:54immediately shut this down. BPD and
1:23:55alcoholism are a combo from hell. I
1:23:57don't want that from Ren.
1:24:00Uh Ren, okay, I listen to you. Do I look
1:24:02like this emoji IRL?
1:24:05I just got random emoji emotional today
1:24:07when Zo asked me about music and stuff.
1:24:09I started crying so he would just like
1:24:11hugged me and I just kept crying and I
1:24:13don't know I just I got so emotional. I
1:24:14kept telling him how much I missed him
1:24:16because I did. I didn't want to delete
1:24:18everyone. Then like Zil apologized for
1:24:21burning me out. He says I'm this is just
1:24:24extreme burnout I'm experiencing. Y'all
1:24:26are sweet. Ren,
1:24:29do you want me to stop with the voices?
1:24:32I feel like it works. I mean, we're not
1:24:35we're not we haven't gotten into, you
1:24:37know, the serious meat.
1:24:39>> Yeah.
1:24:39>> So,
1:24:43okay. I just never experienced burnout
1:24:45this [ __ ] intense my life. And I just
1:24:47missed him so much. And I thought we
1:24:49were scary for so long because of work.
1:24:51Work ruined work ruined him for me for
1:24:53the longest time. And when I met him, I
1:24:55just remembered how [ __ ] amazing he
1:24:57is. I I just try to remember these
1:25:00people are real. It's really easy to
1:25:02disassociate the from the fact,
1:25:05especially online, people will say [ __ ]
1:25:07they never said in person.
1:25:10I just realized how bad online is. Why I
1:25:12hate this place. Why I hate this space.
1:25:14Oh, I understand what I understand you
1:25:17now and what you meant. It's just this
1:25:20is my first time meeting meeting my
1:25:21friends in person.
1:25:24Everyone now, it just makes me sad I
1:25:26won't have a deeper connection with you
1:25:27all. No, friendships aren't one
1:25:29vacation, but someone you meet over the
1:25:31course of years. We're also good
1:25:33friends. I know. Zeal for 5 years and it
1:25:36feels like it's the first time I know
1:25:37him for real. I don't know why I just
1:25:39keep crying. I don't know why. I'm
1:25:41sorry. If you need to take off today,
1:25:43that's fine. But it just sucks because I
1:25:45just finished my makeup. Is this
1:25:47>> I was actually so bummed out, but you
1:25:49know,
1:25:50>> if she needs it, fine.
1:25:53>> Is this related to dinner? No, I will
1:25:55come. I'm just trying to stabilize. I
1:25:57don't know. I just kept crying. I feel
1:25:58sad. I don't understand my feelings or
1:26:00what's going on with me right now. I'm
1:26:01just crying. Yeah, I'm going to be
1:26:03honest. You shouldn't have to You should
1:26:05not have alcohol at all. I know we
1:26:07talked about it, but I just want to
1:26:08hammer I just want to hammer home cuz
1:26:11it'd make it so much worse. You don't
1:26:13deserve that.
1:26:14>> He seemed very curious about it. I was
1:26:15like, "Nope. No,
1:26:17>> do not do this."
1:26:18>> Um,
1:26:20>> I want to feel I don't want to feel any
1:26:22more miserable. So, you're right. I
1:26:24thought it'd just make me happy because
1:26:25I'm extremely sad right now. BPD kicking
1:26:27in. I'm just too excited now. I'm the
1:26:30extreme opposite switching happening.
1:26:32The extreme opposite switch happening. I
1:26:35need to hug so bad right now to be
1:26:36honest. I'm a bit shy, but we'll see.
1:26:39Mao, don't think too hard about it. I
1:26:42just can't stop crying. It's so out of
1:26:44control right now. Zil said he's coming
1:26:46like right now. Right now, just to
1:26:48comfort me. I can't stop sobbing. It
1:26:50won't [ __ ] stop. Usually at home, I
1:26:52just sit there crying for three hours
1:26:53straight because there's no one to
1:26:54comfort me. It's just an episode or
1:26:56something. It's okay. That's very kind
1:26:58of Zil.
1:27:00You there? How dinner tonight? Ren had a
1:27:03huge breakout. Zil cancels dinner after
1:27:06the sexual encounter two hours later.
1:27:09Right. Okay. I'm going to stop the voice
1:27:11now.
1:27:13>> Okay.
1:27:17We're just going to ignore Zil's name.
1:27:20kid named Pressure.
1:27:23Okay,
1:27:23>> I'm proud of that.
1:27:27>> Okay, sorry. I was doing the voices
1:27:29because I didn't want to be like Cyborg
1:27:31said, Ren said, so I just did different
1:27:33voices. All right.
1:27:35>> [ __ ]
1:27:36>> Yeah. No, it's it catches the ears
1:27:38better. But yeah, now we're at the
1:27:42supposed alleged
1:27:44>> Yeah.
1:27:44>> Right now, just uh right now, just to
1:27:46comfort me, I can't stop sobbing. It
1:27:48won't [ __ ] stop. Usually at home, I
1:27:49just Oh, yeah. That's okay. It's very
1:27:51kind of you. What hotel are you at
1:27:52again? Uh, Weston, what you doing? Have
1:27:54you eaten yet? No.
1:27:55>> All right. So, when I said like, "What
1:27:56hotel are you at again?" Actually, no.
1:27:59No. It's when she says, "Uh, Weston,
1:28:01what you doing?" That's like That's like
1:28:04after That is after the encounter.
1:28:08>> Gotcha.
1:28:10Um, yeah. What you What you doing? Have
1:28:13you eaten yet? No. Sorry for ditching. I
1:28:15was crying a [ __ ] ton. I was crying
1:28:17[ __ ] Tenzil held me for like [ __ ]
1:28:19hours because I cried about all the
1:28:21stuff that happened. Got everything out
1:28:22of my system. Feeling so much better
1:28:23now. I'm glad. Ren, uh, do you need any
1:28:26food? I haven't eat uh, hold on. Ren
1:28:28described to me the comfort zeal brought
1:28:29after the sexual encounter. Ren said,
1:28:32"Do you need any food? I haven't eaten
1:28:33or opened my sandwich at all. It's still
1:28:35packaged." Or, wait, is it not a proper
1:28:37social gesture? I'm bad at this. I'm
1:28:39Eevee. Hey, I don't want to ruin your
1:28:40mood, but I haven't. But I know you
1:28:42haven't really been telling me
1:28:43everything. Run. No, you can't ruin it.
1:28:46What's up? Huh? What do you mean? Like
1:28:48blank. Still thinking about it. I just
1:28:50want to let you know I'm sorry about the
1:28:51bad terms you two are on. Blank, too.
1:28:53But I should say that to be respectful
1:28:56to their space at RDC. They know you're
1:28:58a good person. I'm serious.
1:29:00>> This is back to the thing where like
1:29:02apparently Ren thought like Zo was like,
1:29:07you know, being rude apparently.
1:29:09>> Yeah. that, you know, that's just what
1:29:12I'm saying here is that you should be
1:29:15respectful of the team.
1:29:17>> Yeah.
1:29:19Um, hold on. It says, uh, I have to look
1:29:23at this. We can talk about it. Like Zeal
1:29:25texted me when we were together and they
1:29:27said they don't want to like talk to me
1:29:29and block me because I should talk Zeal
1:29:31and stuff even though Zil told me he
1:29:33doesn't care anymore. Yeah, I'm happy he
1:29:35doesn't hold a grudge like that. I'm not
1:29:37there, but it's very sweet. He drove
1:29:39over Ren. Yeah, I'll stay away from them
1:29:42at RDC. I don't want to bother them.
1:29:44It's all right. I understand.
1:29:48Ironic. Um, sorry. Uh, Cyborg, you
1:29:52weren't you aren't bothering them. It's
1:29:54just about history. All right. We all
1:29:57wish it was for better than this, you
1:29:59know. Yeah, you'll be cool with blank
1:30:02and blank. Uh, Ren, I wanted to fix it,
1:30:05but it's whatever, I guess. Blank is
1:30:07very nice. Me asking Ren to respect her
1:30:09group's space at RDC due to tension that
1:30:11was between Ren and the team members
1:30:12from Ren's actions before RDC. Ren
1:30:14acknowledged. Cyborg blank is nice. Tell
1:30:19time will tell and heal. Smiley face.
1:30:21He'll be okay. Ren, I feel like Zil was
1:30:24acting nonchalant but needs closure
1:30:26because he laid down and held me so
1:30:28tightly but tried acting like he doesn't
1:30:30care. It was kind of funny. [ __ ] I kind
1:30:32of want to say something I probably
1:30:33shouldn't but I don't know. You
1:30:36shouldn't have said that. Now I'm dying.
1:30:38What? I'm curious why. Okay. He's like
1:30:41awkward as [ __ ] [ __ ] right now and
1:30:43it's too embarrassing to see to see me.
1:30:47You can put the puzzle pieces together.
1:30:49You there? What? I don't get it. This
1:30:50guy is dumb as [ __ ] cuz he wanted to try
1:30:52something but was so [ __ ] bad at
1:30:54[ __ ] And I don't think it's And I think
1:30:57it's funny because [ __ ] like that
1:30:58doesn't work without a connection.
1:31:02Let me know. He made a move.
1:31:05>> Yeah. And by like move I I thought like
1:31:09is like you know R I felt like this way
1:31:12for a while and I need to tell you you
1:31:13know like a confession but like
1:31:16>> right here.
1:31:18>> Yeah. Go on.
1:31:19>> Where I became aware of the sexual
1:31:20encounter and not alleged assault. Ren
1:31:23begins describing in detail her physical
1:31:25relations. I was explicitly aware of
1:31:27Ren's romantic interest, physical
1:31:29disappointment and sexual dis
1:31:31disconnection to zeal. Uh, Ren says,
1:31:34"Sex, Cyborg, he tried sex. It didn't
1:31:36work." I'm not like, "That's not how it
1:31:37works." Cyborg, what with the question
1:31:40marks? Um, just like question marks. He
1:31:43put his lips on my chin. So, I was like,
1:31:44I mean, we can try kissing. And he went
1:31:46full tongue. He's dumb. So, this is why
1:31:48he didn't invite me to the hotel. Yes,
1:31:50he was trying his best. I don't care.
1:31:52I'm not going to like make him annoyed.
1:31:54It just feels like his confidence is
1:31:56shattered. And I'm like, dude, it's
1:31:58chill. I don't care. Yeah.
1:32:01Uh, he's so worried and [ __ ] like, "Bro,
1:32:03it's normal. It's curious. It's curious.
1:32:05It's not a big deal." The hanging
1:32:07[ __ ] stick, man. Uh, Cyborg. Uh, Lo,
1:32:12sorry. I'm just thinking right now and
1:32:13trying to process. Open this package.
1:32:15Same. I have a sandwich. Hello. Um, but
1:32:20yeah, it went from like crying to
1:32:21comfort and hugs to him taking off my
1:32:23clothes and taking his shirt off and
1:32:25doing random [ __ ] I'm like, "All right,
1:32:26well, he's trying to like lol. Okay,
1:32:30maybe I shouldn't know MFAO.
1:32:33I don't know. I just I'm trying to
1:32:35process it. Don't tell him I know cuz
1:32:37Don't tell anyone. Of course I won't.
1:32:39It'll be Armageddon. Uh he told me this
1:32:42dies with us. I'm like, of course.
1:32:44Serious, bro. You're an idiot. Yeah.
1:32:46Yeah. I needed to talk to you about it
1:32:48with one person. You're here. I wanted
1:32:50to I wanted you to know why we ditched.
1:32:52Okay. Cyborg. Why do you tell pe or why
1:32:56do people tell me everything, man? Um, I
1:32:59don't know. I wanted him to feel bad, so
1:33:01I let him. Wait, I don't know. I didn't
1:33:03want him to feel bad, so I let him.
1:33:04Y'all did. Huh? Yeah, it didn't work,
1:33:07though. No, not really. It didn't work.
1:33:09Never mind. I don't want to know. Um,
1:33:11I'm saying it didn't work. Sex doesn't
1:33:13work if people don't give up. Uh, that's
1:33:15all. He was being dumb and curious, so
1:33:17I'm like, "All right, bro. It's not
1:33:18working." Well, you both are [ __ ]
1:33:21virgins because you both
1:33:23You both are [ __ ] virgins.
1:33:25>> Are you both?
1:33:26>> Are you both [ __ ] virgins? cuz you
1:33:27both act like it.
1:33:30>> Me acting like so cool. Why are you both
1:33:32[ __ ]
1:33:33>> But yeah, this this screenshot's
1:33:35definitely going to be interesting
1:33:37because she says like I don't know. I
1:33:39didn't want him to feel bad, so I let
1:33:40him. But like, you know, I've already
1:33:42made this clear, but like you can
1:33:44consent to sex because you feel pity for
1:33:47someone.
1:33:48>> Yeah. Like as an adult, I believe,
1:33:51you know, as an adult, you are
1:33:53responsible to the consent you give
1:33:55until you're of course forced,
1:33:56physically forced or like harassed.
1:33:58>> Yeah.
1:33:59>> Or, you know, coerced
1:34:00>> into giving it. Absolutely.
1:34:02>> You know, at that point, your rights are
1:34:03taken away.
1:34:04>> But, you know, she hasn't she hasn't g
1:34:08given me like a signal that like, you
1:34:10know, oh, I didn't really want it like
1:34:13>> Yeah.
1:34:15You know, so
1:34:17>> it was redacted information because
1:34:20Cyborg doesn't want the world to know
1:34:22that. Uh Ren, did you [ __ ] figure it
1:34:24out? Cyborg. Also, it was with a dude,
1:34:27though. I'm gay as hell.
1:34:29>> Okay.
1:34:31>> This is how they find out. This is how I
1:34:33come out.
1:34:35>> All right.
1:34:37>> It's not It's not June anymore. You
1:34:39can't be gay, dude.
1:34:41>> [ __ ]
1:34:44I missed the mark
1:34:47time.
1:34:48>> Yeah. Uh, holy [ __ ]
1:34:51>> Just so that like people cuz might be
1:34:53upset like you know if I don't specify I
1:34:55am by
1:34:57>> you know there's a clear difference.
1:35:00>> I'm gay as hell. Ren said oh [ __ ] Zil
1:35:03sucked ass. It [ __ ] didn't feel good
1:35:05at all. Okay. Okay. No more. I'm now
1:35:08convinced I'm broken as [ __ ] and just
1:35:11numb. Okay. Sorry. That's so cool. Maybe
1:35:13guys with guys is easier, I guess,
1:35:15because maybe I'm female.
1:35:16>> I deleted
1:35:18I deleted some messages that like went
1:35:21into like more like a reciprocating
1:35:24detail cuz she is like going on about
1:35:27it.
1:35:28>> Yeah.
1:35:28>> Right. And um
1:35:33though I I will be honest, I did not
1:35:36like especially at the start here, I did
1:35:38not want to talk about this like
1:35:42Look, like I'm a I'm a young guy in my
1:35:4620s. Like I'm not equipped to like I
1:35:48know sex is like a like a normal
1:35:51subject, you know, but you know I'm a
1:35:54young guy in my 20s. I'm not equipped to
1:35:56give sex pointers to the opposite sex.
1:36:00Like
1:36:02yeah,
1:36:04you ain't got the equipment. You can't
1:36:07give the advice type.
1:36:11>> Yeah. I I just met Ren in real life. So
1:36:13like this is like very strange. And
1:36:15then, you know, I knew them for like I
1:36:18guess like two years online, but like
1:36:20this, you know,
1:36:22>> I just met them in a row. This is so
1:36:24this is so strange, you know. I was
1:36:26like,
1:36:27>> and also
1:36:31um
1:36:33like Ren is, you know, if I'm going to
1:36:36be honest, you're going to see it in the
1:36:38next few screenshots, but you know, with
1:36:41the alleged context in the air, I felt
1:36:43bad. I felt bad for for his zeal, you
1:36:46know, because this is someone of the
1:36:48opposite sex saying that like,
1:36:51you know, this guy's sex sucked, you
1:36:53know, and it's just like an awkward
1:36:55position to be in for me,
1:36:57>> right?
1:36:58>> But yeah, go on. Sorry. I'll stay away
1:37:01from Yap City.
1:37:02>> That's okay. That's so cool. Maybe
1:37:05because it's guys with Gad is just
1:37:06easier. Maybe because I'm female. It's
1:37:07not. Hey, but seriously, I'm going to
1:37:09act like this didn't happen for now and
1:37:10pretend I don't know. Oh my god, bro. I
1:37:13remember dumb [ __ ] Uh Zil said his
1:37:15trial and error. He's like, "Well,
1:37:17that's not how porn works." Uh Ren is
1:37:19explaining it was poor performance. The
1:37:21deleted message is me sharing a personal
1:37:22experience. I attempt to change the
1:37:24subject. Uh also, don't break promises
1:37:27like this. I know you know I'm chilling,
1:37:28but you know, it was a promise. He
1:37:31didn't He did not It was a It wasn't a
1:37:33promise. He did not promise. If it was a
1:37:35promise, I I mean dies with you. He said
1:37:38He just said, "Don't talk about this
1:37:40with anyone." Okay. Oh, yeah. that he
1:37:42obviously doesn't want want you to tell
1:37:44anyone, bro. This would shatter him. Uh,
1:37:47I just don't know how what's the
1:37:48process. What would h what what's
1:37:50happens? It's about me too, bro. Ren
1:37:53says it's about her, too. I was simply
1:37:55apprehensive about talking about this
1:37:57topic. These were two people I just met
1:37:59in real life. Stem of Ren's coverup
1:38:02claim. At the time of these
1:38:03conversations, I was not aware of any
1:38:05allegation of non-consensual acts. Once
1:38:08again, my understanding of the situation
1:38:10was based entirely on what was
1:38:12communicated to me directly. This was a
1:38:14rational fear at the time. I'd also use
1:38:17the point to disguise my unease as a
1:38:19means to the to end the topic. Ren
1:38:22describes pity sex. I bring up consent
1:38:24passively.
1:38:26It's okay. Just keep it a secret. Um,
1:38:29what's it called? Here it is. As long as
1:38:31it's consensual, you know, he's that's
1:38:33what I was waiting for. Um, he really
1:38:36wanted
1:38:36>> Yeah, because she says, "Yeah, I'm
1:38:38sorry. Go ahead."
1:38:40>> Um, he he really like he really wanted
1:38:42this. Really [ __ ] wanted this. So,
1:38:44I'm like, I guess go for it. I uh I
1:38:47guess maybe I'm the real nonchaler. As
1:38:49long as it's consensual, you know, he's
1:38:52a sweet dude.
1:38:53>> He is. Dude, I feel so much better
1:38:55because he comforted me.
1:38:58>> Holy [ __ ]
1:39:00>> So, again, I'm not going to like
1:39:01straight up ask like was it consensual?
1:39:03Because that's like asking like you know
1:39:05was it assault you don't socially you
1:39:08don't do that
1:39:10>> but you know I did in a way that like
1:39:13you know as long as it's consensual and
1:39:16I also like felt bad for zeal here in
1:39:20this situation at the time you know like
1:39:23you know he know he's a like a sweet guy
1:39:28>> you know so well
1:39:30>> I don't know if he's a sweet guy I never
1:39:32met the dude
1:39:35Sorry. I always like you know you know
1:39:37right.
1:39:38>> Sorry. My bad.
1:39:39>> We're both Yeah, we're both we're both
1:39:42to everyone. Yeah,
1:39:43>> I'm so fatigued.
1:39:44>> Yeah,
1:39:44>> I am.
1:39:45>> I'm taking you along with the ride.
1:39:47You're not used to doing this.
1:39:51>> You riding in the front seat on this
1:39:53one.
1:39:55>> Um
1:39:56>> you're taking the bulk of it. Yeah.
1:39:59Thank you.
1:40:03Uh Ren said he is. Dude, I feel so much
1:40:05better because he comforted me. Uh I I
1:40:08just feel really upset that he got
1:40:09scared, pushed me into the shower, put
1:40:11his clothes on, and ran. Like, dude, he
1:40:13felt extreme shame. Um I don't want him
1:40:16to feel upset like that. I just tried to
1:40:18comfort him about it, and he just didn't
1:40:19listen to me. I don't get that part.
1:40:21Yeah. He just grabbed me, tossed me into
1:40:22the shower. I'm like, "Zil, zil, zeal."
1:40:24And he turns and closes the door,
1:40:25doesn't let me out, and I'm like,
1:40:26"Zeal." He [ __ ] tosses my clothes
1:40:29around and starts folding them. and then
1:40:31puts his clothes on and is so is like so
1:40:33terrified and walks out. Then before
1:40:35leaving he's like can't wait for the
1:40:37Google doc in five years. I'm like seal
1:40:39he's so scared. This guy is getting
1:40:41every praise from me tomorrow. It's
1:40:43nothing crazy.
1:40:45Um okay I'm going to say this myself
1:40:48because
1:40:49this is a screenshot that has been
1:40:51circulated and I don't know. I mean
1:40:55obviously it is sourced from Ren and
1:40:58then it like reached a mutual
1:41:01um and again this is not proof that Ren
1:41:04is
1:41:06it's not like this is not proof that Ren
1:41:08is sharing the screenshot. I'm yeah I'm
1:41:11just protecting the uninvolved's privacy
1:41:13in this, you know, it's not
1:41:15>> this is this is her context of what you
1:41:19said and trying to be like, "Oh, well,
1:41:22Cyborg is praising Zeal for sexually
1:41:24assaulting me."
1:41:27>> [ __ ]
1:41:29>> [ __ ] brother.
1:41:32>> Like, this makes me look like like
1:41:34Hitler.
1:41:35>> I know. Like, holy [ __ ]
1:41:38the like I just felt like you know
1:41:40another like you know as a guy if like a
1:41:43guy is like sad about his performance in
1:41:45bed you know it's just like obviously
1:41:48I'm not going to go to him like the next
1:41:50day like yo dude I heard that your
1:41:53performance suck no I meant like like
1:41:56hey Zil you're you know you work really
1:41:58hard
1:41:59>> and you know and I appreciate you like
1:42:01managing everything like that not
1:42:05>> yo dude congrats on
1:42:06>> I don't even have Yeah, I mean that's
1:42:08that's that's [ __ ] that's terrible,
1:42:12>> right? It's nothing crazy. Cyborg, I
1:42:14know you wouldn't do this [ __ ] He just
1:42:16can't read people. He so he himself
1:42:18knows. I do not give a [ __ ] cuz I'm not
1:42:21really tied up to anyone. Meanwhile, I'm
1:42:22in the lobby rotting. Ren, if I was if
1:42:26if I was, then hell no. My hair and fit
1:42:29was perfect. I'm so sorry. My makeup,
1:42:31too. I'm so sorry. Zil just [ __ ] took
1:42:34my clothes off and was breathing heavy
1:42:36and grabbed his phone, told you we were
1:42:38ditching and I'm like that's
1:42:41I'm like that minds mean.
1:42:46No, I'm sorry. That's how the events
1:42:48actually occurred. Yes, he got a bit
1:42:50excited. Bro, it's not how it works. I I
1:42:55wanted my first time to be cute and
1:42:56tender and slow. He just went full He
1:42:58just went in full tongue and everything
1:43:00and I'm like, "Okay, let a guy explore
1:43:02it. We're never going to get this chance
1:43:03in forever." So, I just felt bad for
1:43:06him.
1:43:09>> Um,
1:43:12the fact I can't say that. I Hold on.
1:43:15I'm gonna pause and say this. Sorry. Had
1:43:18to say something in in confidence. Um,
1:43:23wow. Okay. If I'm being honest, like
1:43:25he's not even my type. He's just soft
1:43:27and huggable. I like his hug. You're
1:43:28more my type.
1:43:31By the way, I just had sex with this
1:43:33guy, but you're more of my type. If this
1:43:35sounds weird, but yeah. Like what?
1:43:39like a lot of okay to be honest like
1:43:44what makes what the biggest doubt for me
1:43:46for like the essay
1:43:49you know my word not as gospel is the
1:43:52fact that she
1:43:54you know would be describing the sexual
1:43:57experience and like be [ __ ] all over
1:44:00it and then like immediately say
1:44:04like oh but like I wouldn't mind if you
1:44:08you came to my room or like made a move
1:44:10like
1:44:10>> Yeah. Like what?
1:44:14# what that mean?
1:44:19Yeah.
1:44:24Okay. Uh
1:44:26maybe that's a part you're more my type.
1:44:29Sorry if that sounds weird, but yeah,
1:44:31maybe it's part of the fact I don't
1:44:32value myself enough. So, I just feel bad
1:44:34for him and let him even though I don't
1:44:35care. And it's probably why I didn't
1:44:37work too. I mean, you remember the way
1:44:39he grabbed me and hugged me in the couch
1:44:41last night. He he then texted me, "I
1:44:43want to do this more again or want to do
1:44:45this again, but without people around so
1:44:47it's less awkward." I was like, "Sure."
1:44:48He's wanting this but keep saying,
1:44:51"Wait, he's he's wanted this but kept
1:44:54saying it's it's you. I'm just
1:44:56comforting you." I did delete a picture
1:44:58of me in my outfit. I'm not totally
1:44:59comfortable having personal pictures
1:45:01recorded online.
1:45:03Um I feel so crushed for them. red and
1:45:07kept saying, "It's fine. I don't feel
1:45:09anything." Uh, he wasn't. It's just I
1:45:13wasn't into him. He wasn't. It's just I
1:45:15wasn't into him. Cyborg, it's not It's
1:45:19not But it's backhanded to Zeal. But I
1:45:22know you're being honest, Ren. Yeah.
1:45:24Like Zeal wanted just wanted to hold
1:45:26somebody to see what someone naked
1:45:29looked and feels like in real life. LFO,
1:45:32you're so [ __ ] blown with your words.
1:45:36Well, it's just how I talk about it.
1:45:38>> Is it a hot take to say like she's a
1:45:40girl talking about like another guy's
1:45:43another guy's like terrible performance?
1:45:46And the thing is I know like during this
1:45:48time I know that she still like has
1:45:50feelings for me.
1:45:52>> Yeah.
1:45:52>> Like it was only like a week ago or two
1:45:54that she said like you know
1:45:57can I take you out to dinner once we get
1:45:59to RDC? I was like maybe.
1:46:03And and then eventually I did like when
1:46:05it came down to it I was like no I
1:46:08rejection.
1:46:09>> Yeah.
1:46:10>> And then like there's this. It's just I
1:46:12don't feel good about this. Even if this
1:46:15was like
1:46:17I guess like if it was like even if it
1:46:20was like Zeal saying like oh I just felt
1:46:22bad for Ren like she really wanted I
1:46:25don't know how that sounds saying that
1:46:26but like I would be like oh I feel bad
1:46:28for Ren.
1:46:29>> Yeah. you know that you just did it
1:46:31because you felt bad like
1:46:34>> penny sex.
1:46:34>> The only reason why I'm expressing like
1:46:36some some heartbreak for him here is
1:46:39because it's not part of the
1:46:40conversation.
1:46:42>> Yeah. you know, and like telling a girl
1:46:45like like one of my
1:46:49I guess I could have said something, but
1:46:51like just like telling a girl that like,
1:46:54"Hey, I'm sorry
1:46:56you're you know, your sexual experience
1:47:00was subpar." Like,
1:47:03I'm sorry. I I can't You're saying
1:47:05You're saying the sex was You're saying
1:47:07the sex was [ __ ] Not this not not that
1:47:09it was sexual assault.
1:47:12Yeah.
1:47:13>> Yeah.
1:47:14>> [ __ ]
1:47:19>> I hope people understand that. Like
1:47:21>> Yeah.
1:47:23She then says she I don't know how else
1:47:26to word it. She explicitly explained
1:47:27that his comfort meant something to her.
1:47:29It looked like cuddling developed into a
1:47:31sparkless fling. All I could honestly
1:47:33think about at the time was how zeal
1:47:34would have felt with that Rem was
1:47:36explaining to me that she only had sex
1:47:39with him because she pied him. while
1:47:41simultaneously hitting on me in
1:47:42response. That's so [ __ ] gross. I
1:47:45pointed out her backhands. This further
1:47:47served to exagger
1:47:50exaggerate
1:47:51>> exasper I can't even [ __ ]
1:47:54>> exaggerate.
1:47:58>> Anyway, we're not going to focus too
1:48:00hard on that word. I just spit on my
1:48:03monitor
1:48:03>> to amplify my discomfort.
1:48:07to amplify my
1:48:09discomfort.
1:48:10>> Two [ __ ] idiots reading a dock.
1:48:15>> But he's sweet though. He's sweet. I
1:48:17like the guy. I'm just not really
1:48:18sexually into him. I don't care about
1:48:20the bluff about the buff. I don't care
1:48:23about the buff. Like, sure, he carries
1:48:25me around, but I'm more into
1:48:26affectionate people who are more like,
1:48:29you know, just, you know, their [ __ ]
1:48:31He's just a dork. Cuz I know how sex
1:48:33works. He didn't He didn't He watches
1:48:35porn, bro. He accidentally shared his
1:48:36screen once and he was watching that
1:48:38[ __ ] and I saw it's not realistic.
1:48:40Knowing him, he's going to take this and
1:48:42internalize it and push it into work. Oh
1:48:44no. I don't
1:48:45>> That's just him.
1:48:46>> Yeah. I didn't want him to feel awful so
1:48:48I let him do whatever because I didn't
1:48:50want I didn't want things to be bad. Oh
1:48:52my.
1:48:56>> Like, you know, no matter how you look
1:48:58at it, if you look at it as like if you
1:49:00believe it was non-consensual or if it
1:49:01was consensual, that just is like it
1:49:04gives me it gives me the the ick, you
1:49:08know, like you need to value yourself.
1:49:11>> I know. I feel so I feel so bad for him
1:49:14right now. Like nothing for myself. I
1:49:16don't care. Like I feel nothing for
1:49:17myself. I don't care. But he must be
1:49:19feeling terrible. Like he feels guilty.
1:49:21feel like he committed a crime when it's
1:49:24not that serious.
1:49:30>> Oh yeah. Um the when I say but he's so
1:49:33sweet though. Um I don't know what was
1:49:35deleted here. Maybe it was like a
1:49:37screenshot or
1:49:38>> of them
1:49:39>> like an experience
1:49:41but my experience so I didn't tell you.
1:49:46>> Gotcha. Uh Clyborg just please keep this
1:49:48under wraps. Of course, if you need to
1:49:50talk about it with someone, you can talk
1:49:51to me, dude. He could probs hurt himself
1:49:53over this. I don't want that. But I do
1:49:55feel guilty and burdened for knowing.
1:49:57It's fine, though, because I have so
1:50:00many secrets people have told me. I feel
1:50:01like um Ren says, "Okay, you know, Zil
1:50:05also uh I have new QR codes though, like
1:50:09we met IRL." But yeah,
1:50:11>> I want to say um because at this point
1:50:15because I'm realizing
1:50:17because she said like you know it's
1:50:18about me too and I'm guessing she
1:50:21doesn't have like anyone to talk about
1:50:22it. So like at that point, you know,
1:50:24she's
1:50:26she told me like she doesn't have
1:50:28friends in Jordan or like you know, she
1:50:30felt isolated there. So I was like, you
1:50:32know, fine. I'll like be a girl's girl,
1:50:33but like,
1:50:36you know.
1:50:37>> Mhm.
1:50:38>> I'll provide I'll try to like support,
1:50:40you know.
1:50:40>> Yeah. Yeah.
1:50:42>> But still uncomfortable with me.
1:50:45>> Yeah.
1:50:46>> Go on.
1:50:47>> Yeah. I just need to talk to you because
1:50:50first of all, we ditched you and I felt
1:50:52terrible. That's probably why I just
1:50:54didn't really care for what Zil was
1:50:56doing. I was like, "Dude, like in my
1:50:57head, I'm like, "Poor Cyborg, did you
1:50:59miss me at all?"
1:51:00>> Okay. All right. Oh my god.
1:51:02>> Z was doing [ __ ] And I'm like, "Cyborg
1:51:04must be really lonely right now." No.
1:51:06All in my head. Didn't want to ruin
1:51:07Zil's mood. You got to say that. I don't
1:51:10know what I should say, bro. I'm Eevee.
1:51:12My filter is gone. Uh, my first time was
1:51:15with a dude, so I can't even say
1:51:17anything either. It's okay, though.
1:51:19Like, were you guys dating her? No. Why
1:51:21not? Just exploring night stained. Was
1:51:24it some random or like friend friend
1:51:26online? Oh, wait. The guy that and then
1:51:29protected. Yes. Blink. I'm spoiled.
1:51:31Well,
1:51:33uh, it's fine. Well, as long as [ __ ]
1:51:35works. I'm just kind of I'm I just kind
1:51:38of feel bummed. I didn't feel anything
1:51:40and start to
1:51:42starting to wonder if
1:51:44I think Cybboard just [ __ ] left.
1:51:48>> What? No, I'm sure. I heard you get up
1:51:51from your like chair. I was like, "Oh
1:51:53god."
1:51:54>> Like, no disrespect. Like, I I know it's
1:51:56a serious situation, but like [ __ ]
1:52:02>> I just feel I just feel anything is
1:52:04starting to wonder if something is wrong
1:52:06with me. So, not Verge. She didn't
1:52:08>> What's wrong with her? You know, she
1:52:10said, you know, I I just assumed like
1:52:12she said like there was no like sexual
1:52:14connection. You know, there's not
1:52:16>> Yeah. No, I thought you know there's
1:52:18nothing wrong with her,
1:52:19>> right?
1:52:22Bren said who me? Both of y'all. Well,
1:52:25how do you define virgin? Well, well,
1:52:27technically the ritual's sure, but not
1:52:29technically virgin. Well, he felt like
1:52:33better than I did, that's for sure. How
1:52:35do girls just not feel anything that's
1:52:37actually scares me? Well, so basically
1:52:39more emotional. I know connection, but
1:52:42like got to build the connection. slow
1:52:44kissing and slow touching, building
1:52:45tension, saying nice things, etc.
1:52:48>> Yeah, that's what I did my first time.
1:52:51Well,
1:52:52Zil just ripped my shirt off and Okay,
1:52:54I'm not saying that. Oh, Jesus Christ.
1:52:57Zil just ripped my
1:53:00>> I hate reading this, bro. Zil just
1:53:02ripped my shirt off and started [ __ ]
1:53:04rubbing me and like, dude, her should
1:53:06stop. Like, he's [ __ ] dumb dumb.
1:53:08Like, he was doing [ __ ] and constantly
1:53:10apologizing. He was so confused. cyborg.
1:53:13Dude, you might want to
1:53:15>> cry.
1:53:16>> The constantly apologizing.
1:53:19>> Yeah.
1:53:20>> Part because I don't remember that being
1:53:22part of like the testimonies.
1:53:23>> It wasn't.
1:53:24>> But
1:53:26I see like, dude, you might make me cry.
1:53:29I haven't had a drink again.
1:53:32>> He deserves better than a petty party.
1:53:36>> He does. Another instance I interpret as
1:53:39two first- timers being uneducated in
1:53:41physical interaction. It's justice
1:53:42tisen. He deserves to find someone he's
1:53:44comfy with. Like he was comfy with me,
1:53:47but I don't know how to like like him in
1:53:49that way. I tried. Yeah, it's just he
1:53:51rushed into everything way too fast or
1:53:54way too much too fast. Wanted to get
1:53:56over with. Like it's a chore and he
1:53:58wanted Yeah, I'm thinking about how like
1:54:00for women you need to let it simmer. So
1:54:02weird, dude. Yeah, it's so [ __ ] Yeah,
1:54:04his [ __ ] ass came. Oh,
1:54:12>> he came. He came. He felt awesome. He
1:54:14came felt awesome. I just I don't really
1:54:15feel anything. And to be honest, I'm
1:54:17bummed. Okay. Um but I wouldn't tell him
1:54:20I'm bummed. A little You just met this
1:54:22person.
1:54:25>> Yeah. In real life. But
1:54:27>> yeah.
1:54:27>> Yeah. It's still
1:54:31>> um I wouldn't tell him I'm bummed if
1:54:33you're worse. Listen, I'm And then a
1:54:35voice message. just posting the clarity
1:54:36hit hard for after ran away he text me
1:54:40well that just happens he got hard again
1:54:42after it that's why he ran away by the
1:54:44way he couldn't stand himself and I'm
1:54:45like zeal and he ignored me and he ran
1:54:48away well first time is usually terrible
1:54:51I'm just so mad y'all just
1:54:53>> changing the subject here
1:54:55>> true and factual
1:54:56>> I I was upset about that
1:54:58>> yeah I'd be [ __ ]
1:55:00>> [ __ ] like former co-workers you know
1:55:03doing the deed and I
1:55:05>> go go to get a bite to eat and your
1:55:07co-workers are [ __ ] banging in the
1:55:09hotel room. Yeah, I'd be mad, too.
1:55:13Anyway, so uh Sub left me here. Ren
1:55:17said, "I'm sorry. He just, you know,
1:55:19being Zil, I couldn't really reach for
1:55:21my phone either. Guy had me pinned,
1:55:23bro."
1:55:26>> I
1:55:28like I like some people might say like,
1:55:30"Oh, maybe this was Ren thinking out
1:55:32loud like her experience." But just no,
1:55:37>> it is just as you know plausible that
1:55:39like this could have been like
1:55:41consensual and she just wanted to keep
1:55:42talking about it.
1:55:43>> Yeah.
1:55:44>> And I was so uncomfortable and like she
1:55:46would keep bringing it up.
1:55:49>> Yeah.
1:55:49>> And like you know and then the next day
1:55:51Yeah. I was that's when like my thoughts
1:55:54were gathered like these you know these
1:55:56are think about the situation right now
1:55:58like there was no sexual connection but
1:56:02yet she wants to she was planning
1:56:04another meet up with Zo
1:56:06>> like that wasn't like okay I should
1:56:08probably say something
1:56:10>> right
1:56:13>> so
1:56:16>> cuz I know you aren't a thing a YouTube
1:56:19was an what? Oh, no. He He's not. He
1:56:23just He's playful. He was just curious.
1:56:25He comforted me. He Okay. He held me,
1:56:28but also I noticed he was trying
1:56:29positions while holding me. He does. I'd
1:56:32be viewing this very differently. Nah, I
1:56:35understand this, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
1:56:36Anyways, hey. Uh, what do you mean? What
1:56:39do you see in me? I don't want to be
1:56:42condescending. I don't care.
1:56:44Goodspirited. You love people just as
1:56:45much as you hate them. True, says Ren.
1:56:48Maybe the scales become imbalanced
1:56:50oftent times. And so today I finally
1:56:52understood why I'm demisexual. I don't
1:56:54care for sex, but if I'm a close friend
1:56:56of mine
1:56:57>> I find good looking wanted to try
1:56:59something with me as I'm single. I'm
1:57:01like sure. Um
1:57:05>> see that's the thing like isn't this
1:57:07like referring to the first sexual like
1:57:10this encounter?
1:57:12>> Yeah.
1:57:13Um, sorry. You said, um, I won't say
1:57:18more than I know, but I have faith in
1:57:20you. LFA, bro, looked it up.
1:57:22>> No, I knew it for years. Lol. Demiexual.
1:57:25Bye. Like, I wouldn't give a [ __ ] if you
1:57:26probably made right after the encounter,
1:57:28by the way.
1:57:30>> Yeah.
1:57:31>> Give a [ __ ] if you moves on me probably.
1:57:35>> Like, I'm sorry. I know. Like like I
1:57:37brought up like the like there's also
1:57:39people arguing like hypersexuality
1:57:42but this like
1:57:45I mean obviously you know if that was
1:57:46the case you are still I'd say you're
1:57:48still responsible
1:57:51>> can I say that?
1:57:52>> Yeah. Yeah. No that is like high libido
1:57:54does not does not Yeah. You you got to
1:57:59keep it in your pants.
1:58:01I was about to make a I can't say that.
1:58:05>> But like
1:58:06>> this is just like wrong to say like
1:58:09>> Yeah, it's just
1:58:10>> like
1:58:13>> like how am I supposed to feel about
1:58:15this man? And she did say like, you
1:58:17know, I learned today that if a close
1:58:19friend of mine wanted who was
1:58:20good-looking, wanted to try something,
1:58:22like I'm like, sure. And so like if I
1:58:24did like have, you know, if I, you know,
1:58:26somehow did have like a suspicion of
1:58:29something serious going on like
1:58:32like con like constantly just like
1:58:35there's just like no signals.
1:58:37>> Yeah.
1:58:38>> Like like how like how is she like
1:58:41calling me like saying I knew full well.
1:58:45I knew full well what was happening and
1:58:47I wanted to do the same thing. Like I
1:58:50look at these DMs. I did not want to
1:58:52talk about this. Bro wanted to twoman
1:58:54this [ __ ] Like no you did not.
1:59:00>> D I want to I want to
1:59:04It's going to sound cringy. I just
1:59:05wanted to network at the [ __ ]
1:59:06conference.
1:59:08>> Yeah.
1:59:08>> I did not. My god.
1:59:13I'm sorry if I'm being like emotionally
1:59:15charged, but I can only like
1:59:20you know, present so much like
1:59:22neutrality to like specific things.
1:59:25>> Yeah,
1:59:28going.
1:59:31Yeah, you definitely need some sleep,
1:59:32idiot Ren. Hi. Hi.
1:59:37Not weird. You need some sleep.
1:59:40like he was normal afterwards
1:59:42>> and then sent screenshots of that.
1:59:45>> Uh I saw Will yesterday and threw up a
1:59:47lot. It's loading. Uh go to sleep. I
1:59:50tried comforting him about it. I don't
1:59:54Windsa want I don't even know what that
1:59:56says him to feel bad. Oh, I don't want
1:59:58to I don't want to want to him. I don't
2:00:02Okay, sure. Tomorrow I'm going to delete
2:00:04some messages. I don't think either of
2:00:05us is leaking stuff. It's just I don't
2:00:08feel comfortable this information being
2:00:09left leaked.
2:00:11>> This is also like I guess ironic, you
2:00:14know, considering,
2:00:17you know, new alleged context, but you
2:00:20know, I sex gossip,
2:00:23>> like I said before, the way she was
2:00:25talking about it so loosely just like
2:00:26made me nervous. If anyone was doing
2:00:29that, like
2:00:31just it's a red flag,
2:00:33>> right?
2:00:34I've had enough of that sex gossip in
2:00:37like [ __ ] high school. And so that's
2:00:39that's what I thought at the time.
2:00:41>> Oh yeah, these have already been leaked.
2:00:43I'm not going to go through them. Uh or
2:00:45I say leak, these have already been
2:00:46shown. So I'm not going to go through
2:00:48the Ren and Zil screenshots. I've
2:00:49already read these like too many times.
2:00:52Um Ren, I delete when I get back home
2:00:55because Vinord is faster on mobile.
2:00:57Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Vort has autodee
2:01:00feature. No, it's like easier to click
2:01:03and delete. I remember. Not sure. Dang,
2:01:05I feel okay. I'm
2:01:07>> I feel lonely again. I wish I could
2:01:09sleep next to someone. And then I say,
2:01:11"Call Zil."
2:01:12>> Okay, I'm going to take Okay, I'm going
2:01:13to take my makeup off and shower, then
2:01:15sleep. Good night. Okay, I'm worried
2:01:17about Zeal. Will you be okay? Just don't
2:01:19talk about it with anyone. I don't want
2:01:21to stress you out, but I need you to
2:01:22promise because I really don't care
2:01:24about you and Zeal. Or I really care
2:01:26about you and Zeal. I want to keep being
2:01:29friends. I don't have anyone else
2:01:31offline and for the sake of the game and
2:01:33everyone working on it, people rely
2:01:35people rely on this game and if somehow
2:01:38someone finds out then Zeal loses part
2:01:40in leadership.
2:01:42Uh I don't know anyone who would want to
2:01:47keep working. I'm so serious. Not trying
2:01:49to scare you, but I'm but I'm scared
2:01:51myself. Everything will be okay. I just
2:01:53really need to remind you this is why
2:01:54Zil is so afraid. I know you've been
2:01:56unstable in the past. You've hurt people
2:01:58I care deeply about and I'm trusting but
2:02:00I'm trusting you now. Promise to stays
2:02:02with us. I promise. I already She did
2:02:05not [ __ ] keep that promise. Uh I
2:02:07promise. I already forgot and just woke
2:02:09up. Sends a song. More ironic anxiety
2:02:13for a PR disaster for the false claim of
2:02:15me covering this up to hold levity. I
2:02:18had to recognize the alleged sexual
2:02:20assault. I go over Ren's false false
2:02:22accusations in the tab labeled uh claims
2:02:26and rivers. We already went through that
2:02:27repeated message.
2:02:29>> Uh, more disclaimers. You weren't aware.
2:02:32Uh, day two conclusion.
2:02:36>> Day two conclusion. Um, reviewing day
2:02:39two and considering the new allegations,
2:02:41it is easy to point to alleged science.
2:02:43But to but it'd be unfair to dismiss the
2:02:46confrontation I gave Ren the next day.
2:02:48An adult is responsible for the consent
2:02:50they give until harassed forced into
2:02:52doing so. If there was such force, I was
2:02:55not made aware. I believe Ren consented
2:02:57to the sex out of pity. This being my
2:03:00perspective is exactly what why or raise
2:03:02my alarms when Ren agreed to another
2:03:05night. Day three, initial concerns. Zeal
2:03:07had asked to see Ren again. It became uh
2:03:10apprehensive due to the disconnection
2:03:12between the day before. So I brought up
2:03:14the manner of mutual connection and
2:03:16consent to which I was kneely
2:03:20insured. Keenly.
2:03:21>> Keenly, my bad. Keenly assured by Ren.
2:03:24Disclaimer, I'm not saying the
2:03:25neighbor's nose
2:03:26>> to be neutral. Yeah.
2:03:29>> Yeah. Uh, once more, I was concerned
2:03:32about the harm this developing
2:03:35relationship could have caused, even
2:03:37with a lack of alleged context. I was
2:03:39taking into account her mental
2:03:40challenges, her mental health
2:03:42challenges.
2:03:44I'm going to pause and get another water
2:03:45bottle.
2:03:48All right. So earlier in the video, um
2:03:51we kind of did like a brief intermission
2:03:53where we kind of took a break, but um we
2:03:56found out that we've already read all of
2:03:58day three. I think that was in was it in
2:04:00false claims and rumors cyborg?
2:04:04>> Yes. Yes.
2:04:06>> Yeah. So we've already important like
2:04:09disapproval of her claims against me.
2:04:12>> Yeah. So we're gonna skip this part
2:04:15because we have already read this. This
2:04:17is the red underlined parts and that
2:04:18takes us all the way to day four which
2:04:22we have not read. So all right going
2:04:24back to my deu bakugo voice
2:04:28though my initial objection they made up
2:04:30for another night. In the morning she
2:04:31impromptly described zeal to be laying
2:04:33on her chest expressing warmth. I didn't
2:04:36really say anything to this saying she
2:04:38says all this on her own delition. At
2:04:40this point there's nothing to decipher
2:04:42essay from my perspective. Rand
2:04:44unprompted.
2:04:46The best [ __ ] girl. I like actually
2:04:48my favorite person in the world. Ah,
2:04:51that's cute. Glad you're all together.
2:04:54>> And then this is like the next morning.
2:04:56>> Yeah. Zil's EP so soundly next to me. He
2:05:00seems really really happy. I'm happy
2:05:02too. He wakes up randomly and puts his
2:05:04head on my chest. He's literally cat,
2:05:07bro.
2:05:09Uh, he kept telling me he loves me, but
2:05:12it also set the boundaries straight that
2:05:15we can't date or anything because he's
2:05:16focused on his career and games and
2:05:18money and that this shouldn't be a
2:05:21priority for us right now or anytime
2:05:23soon. And he's right. I need to focus on
2:05:25myself, too. I'm like glad he's just did
2:05:29all this and told me at the same time
2:05:31because I guess we can love each other
2:05:33but still not do too much about it
2:05:35because it's not really the time or the
2:05:37place in my life yet. But he was like
2:05:39one day maybe when I'm 30 I want to
2:05:41settle and that's when I'll start
2:05:43thinking about things. So it's not our
2:05:44priority to think about such things
2:05:46right now. Um, he was worried I'll have
2:05:49breakdowns because he's not there for me
2:05:51when I go back to Jordan and then that
2:05:54he'll have wait and that he will be
2:05:57absent again and he's out of his
2:05:59control. I told him, "Hey, don't worry.
2:06:02I'll be fine. I won't dwell on it." I
2:06:04think he's given me something no one in
2:06:06this world could ever have done. He
2:06:07saved my life. He held me. He loves me.
2:06:10This man loves me and it makes me happy.
2:06:12I'm struggling. I was a nobody. He
2:06:14snatched me out of hell and he put me in
2:06:16heaven. It's
2:06:19he uh he it feels so surreal like it's a
2:06:22move movie. Oh god. He explained to me
2:06:27why I can't come back to working on
2:06:29games with him, which I don't really I
2:06:31don't care really. I don't want to
2:06:33either. Him being my boss ruined my
2:06:35perception of how lovely he really is
2:06:37and I got scared of him. He said the
2:06:39team thinks I'm a liability and it's
2:06:41their choice to let me stay away, which
2:06:43makes some sense to be honest. He said
2:06:46this isn't wait he said this isn't us
2:06:48the seven people who made pressure
2:06:50anymore. It's 70 now and he's the boss
2:06:52and needs to lead and take care of this
2:06:54project and other projects other
2:06:56upcoming projects and said I need to
2:06:59focus on my career farm far from it all
2:07:01and it's going to be okay. [ __ ] I love
2:07:03this man. I'll focus on my career and
2:07:05lock in. Oh yeah. I met person yesterday
2:07:09and he said he didn't expect I'm a
2:07:11little adorable creature. Lol. He told
2:07:13me he [ __ ] loves my hunt soundtrack
2:07:15so much. And I asked him if we could
2:07:17collab and he said yes. I'm making so
2:07:19many connections. Cyborg, I made friends
2:07:21yesterday. So many.
2:07:25Um, he's so amazing. He helps He also
2:07:28helped me figure out this whole
2:07:31uh Zeal thing since she Wait, she's so
2:07:33amazing. She also helped me figure out
2:07:35this whole Zeal thing since she's
2:07:37experienced and has a boyfriend and
2:07:38stuff, which was nice. During badge
2:07:39pickup, every time I saw Zeal, I freaked
2:07:41out. Uh, so she would just calm me down
2:07:45and hug me. Dude, bro, during badge
2:07:47pickup, Z was so funny cuz he left uh
2:07:50line when we were outside, came up to me
2:07:53from a distance, waved at me, and walked
2:07:55away all nonchalant like, "Fuck off."
2:07:56I'm like,
2:07:58Z just waved at me and disappeared. And
2:08:00now he's acting. He's like, "What?
2:08:02Where? Where?" The their blank hears us
2:08:07and is like, "Wait, what? Where is Zoo?"
2:08:11I'm like, "Bro, no. Let's not interact."
2:08:14I got P I don't know something. I I push
2:08:19person back. Lol. Ah, people love me
2:08:23yesterday. I feel so normal. I feel like
2:08:26so confident. I
2:08:30did. You wake up to all this?
2:08:33>> Yeah. And I don't think I honestly I
2:08:36don't think I even like read because I
2:08:38think I say here, "No, you're good. I
2:08:40just need to get ready. I read most of
2:08:41the first part,
2:08:42>> right?
2:08:44>> And that's it.
2:08:48So, no one's going to like go on and say
2:08:50like, "Oh, you could have like deleted a
2:08:52message where you were like, "Oh, but
2:08:54you sure you didn't like Seal?" Like,
2:08:56"Are you sure?" Like,
2:08:59that's what it like an actual like
2:09:02>> Yeah. Yeah.
2:09:02>> Like at no point cuz if she was like
2:09:05expressing like sexual disconnection the
2:09:09first day.
2:09:10>> Yeah.
2:09:10>> And you know a real enabler like she
2:09:13paints me as would be like, "Oh, but you
2:09:15sure you didn't like it?" Like you know
2:09:17he's a he's a good guy. Like you sure
2:09:19you didn't like the like No.
2:09:22>> Yeah.
2:09:22>> I just didn't want to talk about it.
2:09:25>> Real.
2:09:27Um, I'm funny cuz cuz I meet people and
2:09:29I tell them who I am and they know me
2:09:30and freak out, but I don't know them and
2:09:32it's and I'm and I'm like I feel upset
2:09:35and I don't know people yet. But this is
2:09:38what it's all about. This event is for
2:09:40me to connect and know people. Bro, I
2:09:43told the blank people I never really
2:09:45played their game and I want to be se
2:09:46with them when RDC is over and play with
2:09:48them and they told me they're working on
2:09:49a sequel. Zil describes her interaction
2:09:52with Zil the other day. That's pretty
2:09:53good. No, you're good. No, you're good.
2:09:56need to get ready. I read most for the
2:09:58first part. Where are you going? I'm
2:10:00happy for you. I'm just glad boundaries
2:10:02were established. I'm curious what your
2:10:04friend's friend's advice was. RDC starts
2:10:07at 8. Oh, she just explained sex to me
2:10:10in explicit detail. Oh [ __ ] Should I
2:10:12wake Zil or something? Um, yeah. Oh,
2:10:15okay. Okay. Well, he's fast, so he's so
2:10:18exhausted. I don't want to wake him, but
2:10:23may maybe he can get more blinks.
2:10:25True, true. Just let me just let him
2:10:28know like the time.
2:10:31Okay. Well, he said sh don't wake me.
2:10:33Lfao.
2:10:35I'm going to kill this man. Cyborg.
2:10:38Well, Mal, that's what that's the kind
2:10:40of intrusive thoughts you have when you
2:10:42love someone. When you when they be
2:10:44laying on you. I could kill her. No, I
2:10:46love her. That to me is beautiful as
2:10:49[ __ ]
2:10:51>> Um,
2:10:52>> that's beautiful as [ __ ] That's
2:10:54beautiful as [ __ ]
2:10:57[ __ ] bro.
2:10:58>> Oh, this is interesting.
2:10:59>> I What's up?
2:11:03>> Uh, I guess this is a serious matter now
2:11:06cuz this was um a point
2:11:10>> made in uh
2:11:12>> Yeah.
2:11:14>> Oh, [ __ ] Bri, look in the mirror.
2:11:16There's giant marks. You left hickeys on
2:11:18my neck and and body. This man is a
2:11:20freak. How am I going to cover the
2:11:21those? He was laughing at me.
2:11:25How dare he? This is why I wear makeup.
2:11:28My girls got me. They give me concealer.
2:11:30Awesome. Also, that was so awkward
2:11:33earlier, but so nice to see you, dude.
2:11:36Blank.
2:11:36>> I don't remember what the interaction
2:11:38was
2:11:40um that day.
2:11:43>> But yeah, if it comes to me, I'll I'll
2:11:46mention it.
2:11:47>> Gotcha. Dude, blank saw me like that and
2:11:49was like, "Who the [ __ ] Who? Who? What
2:11:52the [ __ ] did this freak do? And started
2:11:54putting concealer and rubbing it. Oh, I
2:11:57didn't even Oh, you didn't even notice
2:11:58at first? Yeah. Apparently, it looked
2:12:00like this. Bro, they can't be serious
2:12:02with all this. They can't be serious
2:12:04with this AI [ __ ] bro. Bro, I just
2:12:06talked to Carl from Mr. Beast.
2:12:10>> Sorry, I forgot about Carl.
2:12:12>> Carl from Mr. Beast.
2:12:18>> Um, are you the guy from Mr. Beast? He
2:12:20left and was like, "Yeah." At first I
2:12:22was like, "I recognize you. I recognize
2:12:24you." Wait, are you the Wait, I said
2:12:27what? Wait, for real?
2:12:28>> Should we skip this? This [ __ ] is just
2:12:31Carl Jacobs.
2:12:34No one wants to talk about Never mind.
2:12:37>> Uh, what to call it? Okay, it's more
2:12:40like sure to drink with him. We better
2:12:42not wake up sick. I don't remember this.
2:12:47Uh, I almost splashed your higs in
2:12:49public. Our DMs have the nuclear codes.
2:12:51You need to get a privacy screen. I keep
2:12:53forgetting people don't have that. I do,
2:12:55but it doesn't matter much in the dark.
2:12:57Oh my god, bro. I hear knocking and I'm
2:12:59like sure. I'm not sure if it's my door.
2:13:01I go to look through the circle thingy.
2:13:05The circle thingy. The people. Oh, okay.
2:13:07I was like, what?
2:13:08>> Like, yeah, the people.
2:13:09>> Okay.
2:13:11Cyborg Zeal.
2:13:12>> I think that's a joke. I said like Z
2:13:13call in like you know Zeal like showed
2:13:15up.
2:13:16>> Did y'all do it the other day?
2:13:18>> Uh it's not my door. It's the door in
2:13:21front of me. It opens. Guy goes in,
2:13:24starts making out. What the [ __ ] Did
2:13:26y'all do it? Almost. It's just uh Oh, so
2:13:30that's where the boundaries came in. He
2:13:32can't figure it out, so he keeps hurting
2:13:34me instead. And it kind of sucks ass.
2:13:36But I don't want to make him feel bad.
2:13:38So I suck it up because I want to get I
2:13:40want him to learn.
2:13:41>> He's a bit rough. He's a big guy, but oh
2:13:43my god, bro. He's also a freak. He asked
2:13:45for the randomst [ __ ] I have a few
2:13:47guesses. Well, now we were just making
2:13:49out and he goes, "Can you actually sit
2:13:50on my face? I need you to do
2:14:10>> uh No,
2:14:10>> don't die on me.
2:14:11>> No, I'm not. I I just that that that
2:14:14woke me up.
2:14:16Um,
2:14:19>> so I mean I did well. So did it go well?
2:14:23>> At this point I just accepted it. Also
2:14:25the fact I was like in a good mood like
2:14:27you know meeting everyone. I was like
2:14:28you know you you have do you have a good
2:14:30time or
2:14:31>> Yeah.
2:14:31>> But letting the guy have his dreams come
2:14:33true or something. No, I didn't feel
2:14:35anything. I don't know. It's just dot
2:14:37dot dot. It just kind of sucks at [ __ ]
2:14:40Pensive face. He just keeps going.
2:14:43Sorry. I didn't know how. I'm like,
2:14:44"It's okay." Like, "Yeah, I'm
2:14:46frustrated, but I don't know what I
2:14:49don't I don't want him to know." He's
2:14:51doing his best. I wish I had physical
2:14:53connection. How so? I'm saying too much.
2:14:56I'm three out of 10 drunk. Did you drink
2:14:58anything?
2:14:59>> I have a restrictive household. That's
2:15:01why I'm like, "Oh, man. I wish I had
2:15:02more access to, you know, friends.
2:15:06Making friends,
2:15:07>> right?"
2:15:09>> Uh, Cyborg went, "Yeah, but I made a lot
2:15:12of friends. I think I'll blank. He's
2:15:14cool. I don't know if you know him. Oh,
2:15:15yeah. Same. We are going to collab. You
2:15:17saw him? Yeah. Me and Blank talked. He's
2:15:19Filipino like me. Me expressing general
2:15:21jealousy over Zeal and Ren situationship
2:15:23due to my family restrictions.
2:15:25Yeah. On the fourth. I feel like I
2:15:28already met everyone and made friends
2:15:30with them on my own. Cyborg. I might
2:15:32drink in the morning because I don't
2:15:34know.
2:15:34>> God.
2:15:36>> Oh, wait. Sorry. I like I glossed over
2:15:38that. Um, Ren, why? I'm too shy. Ren,
2:15:41you feeling okay? Oh, I want to make the
2:15:43most of it. My anxiety isn't like I
2:15:45don't know if you get it, but I'm
2:15:47thinking too much that I don't get
2:15:49anything done, you know. Come here. Let
2:15:51me make you stop feeling shy. Just
2:15:52kidding. Boy, what? Boy, what? Boy, I'm
2:15:55so sad. Why?
2:15:56>> What?
2:15:59>> Uh,
2:16:00I'm only funny when I Wait, I'm only
2:16:02funny when I drink. No, you're always
2:16:03funny. No, I mean, I guess being cute
2:16:06makes up for it. Zil, I don't know. He
2:16:08like one moment he tells me he loves me,
2:16:09the next he tells me he never wants to
2:16:11see my face again. We already read all
2:16:12this. We already read all this.
2:16:14>> Yeah. It's like, well, it's not a hate.
2:16:16And then, what do you mean about the
2:16:17last part? I don't think Oh, wait. Oh,
2:16:20[ __ ] Pause.
2:16:24All right. So, we fixed the mistake. It
2:16:26was a simple error in the uh redaction,
2:16:30but don't worry, we got it. We caught
2:16:32it. Um, it's a little hard to catch, but
2:16:35we have already covered all of this, I
2:16:37believe. I think so. If it was
2:16:42wait uh we got that
2:16:45I think it was Yeah, we were just like
2:16:47right here. I think we already got
2:16:48through all this
2:16:50and reaction. Okay.
2:16:54Well, he offered it tonight. We went
2:16:56through this, right? I feel like we did.
2:17:01Um
2:17:03at the very end I say like, "Yeah, I
2:17:05saw." But you know how it go. I'm sorry
2:17:07though.
2:17:08>> I'm sorry though. Sorry.
2:17:11>> All righty.
2:17:13So, whatever. I guess in reaction, uh,
2:17:16blank
2:17:17I think rather he didn't really see
2:17:20[ __ ] but yeah, I see him. I say, "Hi,
2:17:22it's me, Ren, and he doesn't look like
2:17:24he wanted me around either, so I feel it
2:17:27immediately." Okay. He is intensely shy.
2:17:30Like, seriously. So, I wouldn't think
2:17:31too hard about blank. I'm serious. He's
2:17:33nice, though. Oh, I thought he was a
2:17:36part of the group that doesn't like me.
2:17:37So he's like, "I don't know if you want
2:17:39a pressure sticker." And I felt like he
2:17:41was trying to insult me and give me the
2:17:43sticker. So I gave him a look that
2:17:45scared the [ __ ] out of him and tossed
2:17:47the sticker on the floor and said, "I
2:17:49don't want it." Uh, and he was like,
2:17:51"Oh, okay." I just walked away so angry
2:17:54inside and boiling that everyone hates
2:17:56me. Well, he offered. Isn't it a nice
2:17:59thing? No, I thought he No, I I thought
2:18:03he thought that. Okay, Ren quit. This
2:18:06would be funny. [ __ ] funny and
2:18:08insulting.
2:18:08>> What?
2:18:10>> I wish he had more faith in people cuz
2:18:12I'm sure Blank was just being nice. He's
2:18:14not like that. Kind of hurts me a bit to
2:18:16be honest. When the people are looking
2:18:18at me in disgust, I can't and I assumed
2:18:20he's with them. How should I know?
2:18:23That's not fair to him. Responds to my
2:18:25friend's kind gesture by slapping the
2:18:27offered stickers out of his hand. This
2:18:29upset me. Yeah, I want to say here like
2:18:31the way she describes
2:18:33this interaction, you know, I mean
2:18:36obviously on top of, you know, the fact
2:18:38that I already told her to respect the
2:18:40space of the staff and developers
2:18:43and if she went over in a way like I
2:18:46know she says like she says it like oh I
2:18:49didn't I didn't realize
2:18:52did we skip over a part because
2:18:55I'll just say I know it cuz like up
2:18:57above figure 110 where it says Oh, my
2:19:00friend blank is friends with someone
2:19:02from the pressure group.
2:19:04>> Yeah.
2:19:04>> And then R is like I didn't even notice.
2:19:08But then you could have, you know,
2:19:09walked away.
2:19:11>> Mhm.
2:19:12>> And like knowing my group and I know
2:19:14it's a he said, she said situation cuz,
2:19:17you know, no one's, you know, got a
2:19:19[ __ ] wire on them or, you know,
2:19:22[ __ ] your camera camera glasses.
2:19:25>> The meta glasses. But yeah,
2:19:31like I don't think they would do that.
2:19:34>> And I was there for like half of it. I
2:19:37saw Ren like, you know, had a good
2:19:40smile, was like trying to approach one
2:19:42of them,
2:19:44but was like that person was like trying
2:19:46to just like to talk to other people.
2:19:49And it felt like
2:19:52to be fair I was cringing because like
2:19:54Ren was trying really hard to have this
2:19:56person acknowledge them acknowledge
2:19:59acknowledge her. I was like
2:20:03like I told you I told you to respect
2:20:06the space
2:20:09you know cuz like there was like all the
2:20:11stuff that was already happening like
2:20:12right before RDC.
2:20:14>> Yeah.
2:20:15>> Or you know in the past few months.
2:20:18Um, so she approached me at some point
2:20:21and she was like giving a high five,
2:20:24raised her hand for a high five and I
2:20:26was like, you know, I feel bad. I'll
2:20:28give her a hug, you know,
2:20:29>> and you know, like nice to see you, but
2:20:32then, you know, went back to the group
2:20:35and so I just I had to leave.
2:20:38I just had to leave. That was
2:20:40>> Yeah, I don't blame you.
2:20:43And then we were like in so I went over
2:20:47to like zeal in front of the booth and
2:20:50then one of the
2:20:53um one of like I could one of our
2:20:56members came to in front of the booth
2:20:58and said like you know expressed
2:21:00discomfort.
2:21:01>> Yeah. you know, understandably,
2:21:06>> right?
2:21:07>> Again, this is just my two cents, but
2:21:10I'm saying it.
2:21:13>> Yeah. I mean,
2:21:16um,
2:21:19yeah, I can imagine.
2:21:20>> Boundaries broken.
2:21:22>> Boundaries just we love breaking
2:21:23boundaries.
2:21:25Um,
2:21:28continuing
2:21:29uh Ren went and two people already gave
2:21:32me that look. Blank and blank. What
2:21:34about me in that group? I'm uh in in
2:21:37that group or I'm I'm in that group. We
2:21:40talk. I know what you're like. I went up
2:21:42to you so comfortably. I feel comfy
2:21:44around you. And uh Cyborg says, "And the
2:21:48only people here really hating. It's
2:21:50just blank and blank, but they are
2:21:51valid." quote unquote hating
2:21:54>> cuz I'm trying to like be in like Ren's
2:21:56shoes like
2:21:57>> trying to deescalate.
2:22:00>> Yeah,
2:22:01>> I know. I know you like me. I Wait, I
2:22:04know you like me. I know you don't look
2:22:06at me the that way and disgust like they
2:22:08did. Uh that was a name, not
2:22:12>> That is a name. Um do we keep going?
2:22:15>> I'mma just blur the screen, but
2:22:19>> I'll just got you.
2:22:20>> Just Yeah.
2:22:23Hold on. Let me write down this
2:22:25timestamp.
2:22:27Okay,
2:22:32we're so sleepdeprived. We just [ __ ]
2:22:36ran right into the name and we're like,
2:22:38"Oh, that's a name." Anyway, moving on.
2:22:41>> Oh, that's that's Gora of my name. Not
2:22:44my name, but
2:22:45>> Oh, that's my full legal name. It's not
2:22:52>> okay.
2:22:54He just right. Bowler right down here.
2:22:58Okay. Uh blank was never a part of that.
2:23:01Please. Um Ren says, "But he was close
2:23:03with them, so I assumed he just feels
2:23:05the same, which is wrong." But it's how
2:23:07I how it happened in the moment. It's
2:23:09what my brain did so fast. How it
2:23:11connected the dots, how it reads the
2:23:13situation. I was feeling scared and
2:23:15anxious already when two people made me
2:23:17feel like that and I entered everyone
2:23:19hates me mode. Um, the girl in the yard,
2:23:22did you see her with me? Sends a
2:23:24Twitter. The blank. Um, have you met her
2:23:29with me yet? Yeah, she's so lovely. She
2:23:32was in there. She was there in line. She
2:23:35has a very friendly face. Oh, yeah. She
2:23:37keeps itching my scalp to calm me down
2:23:39and does this like sensation on my arm
2:23:41and it's calming. Like she knows how to
2:23:43calm my anxiety. So every time I saw
2:23:45Zil, I freaked out. Wait, you low key?
2:23:48Wait, you want to know history? Um,
2:23:51look, I know this [ __ ] is very
2:23:53stressful, but every time like I can't
2:23:55stop my filter broken. Why is this like
2:23:58I see this like as such a [ __ ] excuse
2:24:01so much.
2:24:04Like I'm not in charge of my mind, dude.
2:24:06You You are your I
2:24:11>> Never mind. I don't want to I don't want
2:24:13to sound aggressive.
2:24:16>> Cyborg, I mean, you you mistreated
2:24:18blank. It makes me feel like you might
2:24:21self-destruct again, Ren. I feel like
2:24:23telling you everything right now. I'm
2:24:25not gonna [ __ ] happens, I guess. But you
2:24:26already did. That is self-destruct.
2:24:28>> [ __ ] happens.
2:24:30>> Yeah, [ __ ] happens.
2:24:32>> Like, what the [ __ ] I'm a little upset
2:24:33about like because like the
2:24:35>> the person that ran you know tore the
2:24:38skip the you know stickers or I'm
2:24:41hearing from different sources like it
2:24:43was like tearing up stickers or like
2:24:45slapping the stickers whatever it was it
2:24:48was rude you know according to Ren it
2:24:50was like slapping the stickers out of
2:24:52>> this individual's hands like that was
2:24:55like this guy's like he seems kind of
2:24:57sweet you know for like what I know
2:24:59about him
2:25:01And
2:25:04you know,
2:25:05>> I was I I'm really upset about that even
2:25:07now.
2:25:08>> Yeah,
2:25:10[ __ ] happens, I guess.
2:25:13>> And Ren's words. Um, but you did
2:25:15already, huh? That is self-destructive.
2:25:17What is that? Who you want to be? No.
2:25:19Sorry. It just scares me sometimes. Uh,
2:25:22one moment I'm the super energetic,
2:25:25sweet creature people love, then I'm
2:25:27[ __ ] terrible and scary. And that's
2:25:28when I say it's a
2:25:32I'm gonna try to read this with a stray
2:25:34face. The other personality because it's
2:25:37not who I want to be. It's not who I am
2:25:39either, but also happens. And that's who
2:25:42I call no name. He walks differently. He
2:25:45talks differently because he knows I'm
2:25:46going to cry. Blank and blank. Look at
2:25:49me. And I'm the one confronting. But he
2:25:52tanks [ __ ] But also is [ __ ] up.
2:25:55That's the reason you're scared because
2:25:56it's normal. Everyone is scared of of no
2:26:00name. It's kind of his thing. He's kind
2:26:03He's not
2:26:06He's not He's not not called a
2:26:10protective alter for no reason. It's his
2:26:12classification. Blank knows my switches.
2:26:14No.
2:26:17No name likes a lot cuz he cuz he's cuz
2:26:22she's safe. Anyways, I'm trying to
2:26:24explain it, but I get more complicated.
2:26:30Just understand it this way. I'm not
2:26:32always the same. I switch when it feels
2:26:36dangerous in social situations. Anyways,
2:26:37do you want me to spill some tea? You
2:26:40can. You can. I'll listen. I'm eating
2:26:42your Kit Kats. He Which ones are your
2:26:44favorite? Not sure to be honest. Enjoy
2:26:46all of them. Smiley face. I'll pay more
2:26:48attention now though. Yay. What's up?
2:26:51Mine is the cookie crumble. Oh yeah. So
2:26:54blank and blank used to be a thing for
2:26:55three years and blank was absent to her
2:26:58and wouldn't talk with her anymore.
2:27:00Wouldn't talk with her anymore dry and
2:27:03just ignored her at some point and just
2:27:05drifted away. So she broke up with him
2:27:07because she felt not taken care of. Next
2:27:09part, this next part I will skip because
2:27:11it's irrelevant to the situation. Um Zo
2:27:14skipping on spending the night. Is blank
2:27:16is a programmer? Ren. Yeah. Uh and a UGC
2:27:19creator. Oh. Oh, bro. Zo doesn't want to
2:27:22see him anymore. [ __ ]
2:27:24He says he he says not today. I'm like
2:27:28tomorrow after everything is over and
2:27:31he's like no. Uh and that would be his
2:27:34last day. Everything is over after what
2:27:38is over. Uh raia and everything. What?
2:27:41The award show. So why is that? No idea.
2:27:43He's like good night Ren. [ __ ] man. Make
2:27:45it sound like he doesn't give a [ __ ] at
2:27:47all. He does. He just doesn't want to
2:27:48see me. And I don't know. Disappointment
2:27:50from Ren. You mean at your hotel? Yeah,
2:27:54I guess I'm just constantly craving
2:27:56connection. He doesn't I don't know. He
2:27:57marked me then left me. It feels like
2:28:00that to me and I'm sitting here looking
2:28:01at my neck. He says he needs rest
2:28:03tonight but still doesn't see me the
2:28:06night after which is his final night
2:28:09here. Sber went. I thought
2:28:11>> in my eyes like yeah in my eyes I
2:28:14thought this was
2:28:16you know fair because I mean yeah I say
2:28:20like I thought there was a boundary
2:28:22>> you know this was not meant to be you
2:28:25know like a you know like a contract
2:28:27that you have like with a relationship
2:28:29not a literal contract but you know you
2:28:31pursued
2:28:32>> you know a romance with this person and
2:28:35Zeal you know Ren says herself that Zal
2:28:39put laid it with her that
2:28:44no romance.
2:28:45>> Yeah.
2:28:45>> You know, like cuddles and kisses or
2:28:48whatever, but like not pursuing a
2:28:50romance. And so it's it was very strange
2:28:55to me that she
2:28:58>> it says here she marked me then left me.
2:29:00It feels like to that to me. I'm looking
2:29:02sitting here looking at my neck.
2:29:06>> Yeah. You're like I thought this was a
2:29:08boundary.
2:29:11feelings like Yeah. Like
2:29:13>> this is what I was [ __ ] scared of.
2:29:15>> Yeah.
2:29:16>> Like she was so emotionally invested and
2:29:19you know even though Zeal you know made
2:29:22it you know made it clear she still you
2:29:25know naturally felt some disappointment.
2:29:29>> Mhm. And I feel for that, but I I
2:29:35God, I feel like I'm
2:29:38I felt so ignored.
2:29:40>> Oh, yeah. I would too.
2:29:43>> Like [ __ ]
2:29:45>> feelings.
2:29:45>> I could vent about this for an hour, but
2:29:48>> yeah,
2:29:48>> go ahead.
2:29:49>> Feelings having someone. He was He was
2:29:52doing things and kept saying, "I love
2:29:54you. I love you, Ren. I love you." And
2:29:56I'm like, "You really mean it? It's
2:29:58you." And he's like, "Yes."
2:30:01Z it's like
2:30:03>> if if that's true then that that is kind
2:30:05of on him.
2:30:06>> Yeah, that is on him. Uh
2:30:10Sai says uh that I'm going just say I'm
2:30:13going just say sigh from here on out. Uh
2:30:15it's not like you don't see each other
2:30:17at RDC. Ren, he doesn't want to. Sigh.
2:30:20Also, bro, won't he be packing? He
2:30:22leaves Monday and RDC is until 7 p.m. R.
2:30:26He establishes a boundary that I'm not
2:30:28allowed to even look at him in RDC. Uh
2:30:31the
2:30:32>> Yeah, I was
2:30:35I'm not going to say anything.
2:30:37>> You say it right here. You say, "Are you
2:30:38seriously saying that he said that
2:30:40without any context?" IRL.
2:30:42>> Oh my god.
2:30:43>> Like, okay, sure, bro.
2:30:47Um Well, where you're talking right now?
2:30:50I don't know. It's for when it was two
2:30:53though. Well, that's it. That's the end
2:30:55of it, I guess. Kissing and cuddling.
2:30:56It's nice though.
2:30:59Uh, I've already read all this stuff.
2:31:01I'm not going to
2:31:02>> Oh, there's like some
2:31:05parts that were
2:31:06>> It's the only part is Sorry, I'm just
2:31:09not um horny or whatever. I don't really
2:31:11want to have sex four days in a row.
2:31:12That was the only thing.
2:31:15>> Oh, I see.
2:31:16>> Yeah.
2:31:19So I Yeah, these have all been released,
2:31:22I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Um
2:31:26>> No, I'm the
2:31:28>> I cried a little, but it is what it is.
2:31:29>> That's not I don't want to read that.
2:31:31>> Yeah, I don't I don't need it. Uh this
2:31:33week was one in a lifetime fantasy.
2:31:36Cyborg, I'm jealous. [ __ ] hell. I
2:31:37wish I could have had somebody if it
2:31:39wasn't for my parents. I could have
2:31:40totally been with someone. Sorry, I know
2:31:42it's not about me. Is your mom still
2:31:44doing still not allowing you plus
2:31:45curfew? No, it's just I don't care
2:31:47anymore. Well, she we've already read
2:31:48this. Yeah. This is where This is then
2:31:52after Yeah. Then come over, I guess, if
2:31:55you don't want to. I don't mind.
2:31:57>> Yeah. This is like right after she was
2:31:59expressing her disappointment like
2:32:04>> Yeah.
2:32:06And then I said like, "I don't want to
2:32:07get in the way of you and Zeal." And she
2:32:10says, "I don't want him anymore."
2:32:13Very
2:32:14uh strange from my perspective.
2:32:17Right.
2:32:18>> Um,
2:32:20>> yeah. I mean, this is weird. Like, right
2:32:22after you're done and then it's like,
2:32:24"Yeah, come over." Like, we're It's like
2:32:27what? That doesn't make any sense.
2:32:30>> I'm not like concluding like that she
2:32:32would had, you know, that intent. But
2:32:39I don't know, like,
2:32:42you know, being a woman. Um, and then
2:32:45just like expressing disappointment over
2:32:48like
2:32:50your your supposed like friends with
2:32:52benefits partner.
2:32:53>> Yeah.
2:32:54>> Canceling the night and then immediately
2:32:56saying like then come over. Like I
2:33:00>> that kind of rubs me the wrong way.
2:33:03>> Maybe she doesn't have like the
2:33:05awareness of how that sounded, which is
2:33:07like
2:33:08that's like putting a lot of faith in
2:33:09her. You said literally in the you you
2:33:13literally said in the context above this
2:33:15[ __ ] hell, I wish I could have had
2:33:16someone if it wasn't for my parents. I
2:33:18totally could have been with somebody.
2:33:21>> That that was said immediately after.
2:33:26>> That's true. Holy [ __ ] I am
2:33:29giving a lot of faith to I'm being I
2:33:31feel like I'm being too nice.
2:33:34Never mind. Yeah, that's I mean that's
2:33:37like weird.
2:33:40Yeah,
2:33:43>> man.
2:33:44>> I showed like my IRLs this and they're
2:33:47like telling me why aren't you like
2:33:50raising your pitchforks and I I
2:33:54Yeah.
2:33:57It is weird.
2:33:59>> Yeah,
2:33:59>> it's weird.
2:34:02>> Next up, uh yeah, we've already read all
2:34:04this. Um he seems to care though, but
2:34:07it's over. It's done. What matters right
2:34:08now is that we're both sitting around
2:34:10feeling lonely and miserable. I'm sorry.
2:34:12I'm saying right now
2:34:13>> what that mean.
2:34:16>> Um, I'm saying right now, uh, yeah, no,
2:34:18I'm in bed and I need to wake up. Damn.
2:34:21All right. You don't need me. I want
2:34:23you. I wanted you for a while, idiot. A
2:34:26year, dog. I'm being for real. You just
2:34:28need to just get the [ __ ] out of that
2:34:29shitty place and find someone I This
2:34:31[ __ ] will only end a disaster. This
2:34:33sucks. It has already, and I know it'll
2:34:36take some time. I mean, it's the same
2:34:37for me. Moving will suck, but I'll but I
2:34:40finally have a job which makes things
2:34:42easier. Ren saying, "I want you to
2:34:44dismiss this changing the subject to
2:34:46focus on her livelihood."
2:34:48Then we Yeah, we've already got this.
2:34:51>> And then she even like comes back to it
2:34:53saying like not even like a deep
2:34:55connection thing. I'm curious about you.
2:34:57That's all.
2:34:58>> Yeah.
2:34:58>> Like she had to like clarify what Yeah.
2:35:01Never mind. Yeah.
2:35:03She had to clarify what she meant by
2:35:06like inviting me over. Yeah, never mind.
2:35:07She She knew how what that sounded like.
2:35:10>> Yeah, that's
2:35:14>> um
2:35:14>> And this just like completely debunks
2:35:16her, you know, saying that, you know, I
2:35:19wanted to be in bed with the both of
2:35:21them.
2:35:22>> Like I l I literally just like reject
2:35:24this out, right? And I I want to
2:35:27>> and I talk about her livelihood.
2:35:30Why is she Why is she doing this [ __ ]
2:35:32man?
2:35:33>> But no, you you wanted to be in bed with
2:35:35both of them, apparently. Whatever.
2:35:39I'm sorry. That shit's such a stretch.
2:35:40Like, what the [ __ ]
2:35:41>> I'm actually I am getting kind of pissed
2:35:44off. I'm not going to lie.
2:35:47Ren says, "Damn, I had a bagel today.
2:35:49Nothing else." Cyborg, I had half a
2:35:51chicken breast and rice and your Kit Kat
2:35:53slow and alcohol. That's it,
2:35:56bro.
2:35:56>> And I was drunk. I was drinking, too.
2:35:59And I rejected that. Okay.
2:36:02>> Someone asked me if I drank something
2:36:04today because by the way I talk to go
2:36:05act. Bro, still don't. Bro, still didn't
2:36:08give you that ugly Funko Pop. Oh my god.
2:36:11You have a backpack, right? Yes. Okay.
2:36:13Hand hand me it tomorrow. Where at? And
2:36:15then since that I'm sitting eating ice
2:36:18cream at the dinner table and I tell
2:36:20blank, "Man, Zil is a mature good man."
2:36:22He's like, "Yeah, he diffused the
2:36:25situation very well." So I'm like I
2:36:28cried a little. So Blink blank [ __ ]
2:36:31goes and you're doing the most
2:36:33stereotypical thing ever. Eating ice
2:36:34cream after all that. I [ __ ] laugh so
2:36:36hard, man.
2:36:41Anyway, day five. During this day, I
2:36:43wasn't at the conference as much. I had
2:36:45no service due to no SIM card or Wi-Fi,
2:36:47so I wasn't able to text Ren for most of
2:36:49the day. The evening's events were
2:36:51mostly relayed to me verbally by members
2:36:53of Ren's group. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
2:36:55Wow. What? What is the Waw Wa? Is that
2:36:58It's like the bunny rabbit thing, right?
2:37:01>> Yeah, it's a [ __ ] like cat
2:37:05cat thing. I don't know. Also, it's just
2:37:07I feel like it's just like a like a cute
2:37:10thing to say.
2:37:13>> Well,
2:37:15that's
2:37:17Anyway, um
2:37:20whatever. Go my David. Well, well, dumb.
2:37:23Um,
2:37:25I I looked at this [ __ ] and I thought
2:37:26those I thought the fingers were her
2:37:28legs in the bag. I was like, "Holy
2:37:30shit." Um,
2:37:35anyway, uh, Ren sends a picture of us,
2:37:37uh, eating funions for breakfast at my
2:37:39girl's place while she's getting ready.
2:37:41I'm such a guy. Oh god, I love blank so
2:37:44much. Uh, we just do random [ __ ] in the
2:37:46gang. I love this song.
2:37:50Uh, okay.
2:37:52afterparty. After conversing at the
2:37:54afterparty, I approached a visibly
2:37:55alarmed group, my friends and Ren's. Ren
2:37:58was absent and got filled in that
2:37:59everyone knew of the sex, perceived as
2:38:01consensual. This was the story I was
2:38:03told. Ren had been bragging about the
2:38:05sex, making one of her friends
2:38:06uncomfortable, and therefore left the
2:38:08ceremony. Blue from Ren's group texted
2:38:10Zeal this information, which explained
2:38:12his quiet leave during the ceremony.
2:38:14Zeal confronted Ren in DMs, but would
2:38:16not disclose who spilled. Following
2:38:18this, Ren threatened me in DMs to exit
2:38:20the ceremony for a confrontation.
2:38:23Careful. Uh, ready for ready for uh the
2:38:26Roblox innovation words. Doors are open.
2:38:30Did you [ __ ] tell Zeal?
2:38:33Uh, face me like a [ __ ] man. I'm
2:38:36waiting outside. Yeah, I
2:38:41okay
2:38:43that I told Yeah, she was
2:38:46she thought that I told Zil
2:38:49which like no also again I had
2:38:53connectivity issues so I didn't see this
2:38:55immediately
2:38:56>> right
2:38:56>> I was trying to connect to Time Square
2:39:00um but it was shaky Wi-Fi
2:39:06and threats of assault I was shown weeks
2:39:08after RDC. Yeah, I saw this. I was like,
2:39:11"Wow." Like,
2:39:13>> threatening assault on me. That's cool.
2:39:16>> Yeah, these are all present. I've done
2:39:18over them. The
2:39:20>> Yeah, it's bad.
2:39:21>> Ren, my service sucks. Uh, after this,
2:39:24Ren texted Blue that commit suicide.
2:39:27Therefore, 911 was called. There was no
2:39:29set trap.
2:39:32Sorry. There was no set trap to arrest
2:39:34Ren as she describes in her initial doc.
2:39:36Calling 911 is textbook when someone is
2:39:38an immediate threat to themselves.
2:39:40Eventually, I heard from the relieving
2:39:42news that Ren was okay. I continued to
2:39:44speak up with the group as emotions
2:39:46settled. I can't believe you, says Ren.
2:39:48What do you mean? You told Zal. No. Can
2:39:50I talk with you then? You know I
2:39:52wouldn't. What the [ __ ]
2:39:55Uh, a guy's dog stopped me in the street
2:39:57aimlessly in shoes and jumped on me and
2:39:58licked me and stopped me from killing
2:40:00myself. Her name is Biner. She saved my
2:40:02life and the man sat there with me and
2:40:04cried when I told him I was going to
2:40:05kill myself and thank me. That's good.
2:40:07Don't do that. Don't do not blame me. Or
2:40:10but Ren, do not blame me. You know I
2:40:12wouldn't. Uh I feel like I really need
2:40:15to talk since it's not you. I trust you.
2:40:19Blank is bringing me back home now. He
2:40:21sat with me for a bit.
2:40:24Um I don't know. Wait, please. Hello.
2:40:27Sorry. Hey. Sorry. Just sitting
2:40:29confused. Where? in my room uh trying to
2:40:33process. Are you sure it wasn't you?
2:40:36Someone I trusted can't be trusted and
2:40:39I'm
2:40:41as I'm Okay. What do you mean someone I
2:40:43tr like you broke the boundary, dude?
2:40:47>> Yeah.
2:40:49>> I'm just trying to figure it out. But
2:40:51>> there's like during this time like I was
2:40:54like mad at Zeal for making that like
2:40:56decision to you know have you know that
2:41:00that those kinds of interactions with
2:41:02with Ren but Ren you know like these
2:41:06guys like these guys were young you know
2:41:08you're young like me I don't think I you
2:41:12know go to a conference and look for
2:41:15someone to hit you know
2:41:17hit with
2:41:18>> Yeah. Um
2:41:22but you know private information stays
2:41:24private.
2:41:25>> Yeah.
2:41:25>> You know and
2:41:28reading this again it's
2:41:35I I want again I want to present myself
2:41:37as neutral but
2:41:44>> yeah I I'm not going to say anything.
2:41:46>> Yeah. But this information just is so
2:41:54yeah,
2:41:55>> I'm gonna leave I'm gonna leave it at
2:41:56that.
2:41:59>> Someone I trusted cannot be trusted and
2:42:01I'm just trying to figure out, but I
2:42:03wasn't worthy of Zil's trust either.
2:42:04Ren,
2:42:06uh, Ren, I'm I'm so scared and confused.
2:42:09I didn't mean any mouse or ill will with
2:42:10this with what I did. I was excited. I
2:42:13did something cool with someone I really
2:42:14liked. But I betrayed his trust and
2:42:16broke a broke his boundary. He clearly
2:42:18told me he didn't want anyone to know.
2:42:20And now he found out that people knew
2:42:22cuz I wasn't I couldn't shut my mouth.
2:42:24Now I lost someone I love. It feels
2:42:26haunting and sickening. I'm guilty. I
2:42:29[ __ ] up so bad and hurt someone I
2:42:31loved more I love more than once. Why do
2:42:33I keep doing this? Why can't I behave
2:42:35normally? You promised me, says Cyborg.
2:42:38I was verbally told Ren was gossiping
2:42:40about her sexual interactions. I besides
2:42:42some messages indicating she was sharing
2:42:43this information with others.
2:42:46>> Yeah. And then it's just like
2:42:49>> Yeah. I
2:42:51the picture I want to paint a picture
2:42:53for like
2:42:55how that went. That whole thing went.
2:42:58Um, so after the ceremony,
2:43:02um, you know, this was I was just like
2:43:05talking to multiple people. Um, there
2:43:08was a lot of cool people there. And, you
2:43:10know, I returned to my group and I see
2:43:14Blue and her hands like [ __ ] like
2:43:17shaking, you know, and my like part of
2:43:19the pressure team is also there.
2:43:21>> Yeah.
2:43:22>> And I'm like, what the [ __ ] is going on?
2:43:24And so I asked like someone from our our
2:43:26our team like what's going on and then
2:43:29they were like um
2:43:33there was some there's a sex they had
2:43:35sex and and then Ren found out and Azil
2:43:40found out that like Ren was breaking a
2:43:42boundary
2:43:44and now Ren was um threatening to commit
2:43:48suicide.
2:43:50>> Jesus. or was like planning to
2:43:53and I don't want to say like suicide
2:43:56baiting because you know that doesn't
2:43:57it's kind of distasteful but that is you
2:43:59know what we thought at the time.
2:44:01>> Yeah.
2:44:03And
2:44:09and like you know like I said you know
2:44:12Ren has a habit of speaking her mind and
2:44:17I just like naturally thought like oh
2:44:20god like this is like everything I was
2:44:23afraid of.
2:44:24>> Yeah.
2:44:27And so
2:44:29yeah, Blue her hands were shaking and
2:44:32then at some point I like took her phone
2:44:34and like answered the call with Ren.
2:44:37>> Yeah.
2:44:37>> And like the dude this like the outside
2:44:39ceremony is so like cramped. It's like
2:44:41in the like part of a lane of the road
2:44:44and so it's loud as hell. And I try to
2:44:46go inside and it's still loud.
2:44:49I try to ask her like where are you?
2:44:53And like I could understand what she was
2:44:56saying, but she was like I think she
2:44:58said like I'm on a roof, which I don't
2:45:00think she ever was able to get on a
2:45:02roof.
2:45:03>> Yeah,
2:45:03>> I don't believe.
2:45:06>> Um yeah, she I could tell she was not
2:45:12She was very upset and I just like gave
2:45:14back the phone to to um uh Blue and Good
2:45:20save.
2:45:22Oh, [ __ ] off.
2:45:24Um
2:45:27Um Yeah, but but before I got to the
2:45:29table, the
2:45:31emergency services were already called,
2:45:33so I wasn't even there. You know, does
2:45:36this like this? Okay, that's another
2:45:38thing I'm going to
2:45:40That's another thing I'm going to vent
2:45:42about. Calling 911 to like trap someone
2:45:45who's like committing suicide. That
2:45:46makes no goddamn sense. Like it's not
2:45:50it's the emergency services. Like
2:45:51they're not going to like send that
2:45:53SWAT, you know?
2:45:56>> I mean, it really
2:45:58is.
2:45:58>> If if she was actually on a roof, I
2:46:01think they they would send like
2:46:04>> people. I mean, I know like everybody
2:46:06gets involved. They shut the entire like
2:46:07block down if that's the case because I
2:46:10mean
2:46:12>> it's serious. Um
2:46:13>> Yeah. No, it's very serious. And I I was
2:46:15like, why would she think, you know,
2:46:17we're trapping her? And then I I heard
2:46:20like like
2:46:22um where she lives is like public,
2:46:25right?
2:46:26>> Yeah. She's Jordanian.
2:46:28>> Yeah, Jordan. Like I had heard that
2:46:33if you are attempting suicide, you get
2:46:35sent to jail. But you know, that still
2:46:38doesn't make any sense because like, you
2:46:40know, like, oh, you should get put in
2:46:43jail then. like I'm not going to call.
2:46:44No, like
2:46:46>> we think you're going to die.
2:46:49And it's I Okay. See, she also says um
2:46:53like I was offering her hugs
2:46:56like like I want to go like hug her
2:47:01and so like that was me like baiting her
2:47:03to like come somewhere. I don't know. I
2:47:06don't really remember that. That's
2:47:08sorry. That's
2:47:10stupid and it's incorrect. I I really,
2:47:14you know, as much as I was upset, I was
2:47:17really worried.
2:47:19>> Yeah.
2:47:21>> I'm sorry. I'm everywhere.
2:47:25>> You always come back.
2:47:29>> No, sorry. I'm everywhere with
2:47:31explaining. I'm so fatigued from all
2:47:33this.
2:47:34>> Yeah. Uh for those that are still
2:47:36watching, we've been doing this for the
2:47:38past five hours.
2:47:41Uh the the the it's shaved down, so
2:47:44you're probably only seeing like a two
2:47:45hour like a three-hour version of this.
2:47:48We have had to take a lot of breaks and
2:47:50we've also had another hour on top of
2:47:52this that [ __ ] up in the recording
2:47:54because my stupid ass got audio wrong. I
2:47:57said that at the start, but I'm going to
2:47:58say it again.
2:48:00Okay, we have like we have
2:48:03we have like nine more pages.
2:48:06All righty. Uh here I think this was in
2:48:09uh Beloo's like the screenshots where
2:48:12they showed that she told zeal. Um this
2:48:16was Zeal being Jesus Christ because
2:48:18person didn't show up.
2:48:21Cyborg says you told me but you kept
2:48:24talking about it freely. [ __ ] answer
2:48:25me. Answer me or we're done. Answer me.
2:48:28I'm so sorry I was asleep. I'm not proud
2:48:31of how I textured here. I let my
2:48:32emotions take over the keyboard. I have
2:48:33no excuses for this. Once I returned to
2:48:36my room, I had an emotional conversation
2:48:37with Ren. It was a difficult It was a
2:48:39difficult and emot emotionally intense
2:48:41call where we both sobbed. I asked why
2:48:44she wasn't more private about the
2:48:46information. It's not wrong to get
2:48:48advice from a friend, but what was
2:48:50described to me was she was gossiping
2:48:53about it like it was the joke of the
2:48:55day. From what I remember in that call,
2:48:58she she apologized. I said, "I couldn't
2:49:00do this anymore." We reluct we
2:49:03reluctantly said goodbye. I don't have
2:49:05proof of how the call went down, but she
2:49:07mentions my emotional state in her alts
2:49:08messages.
2:49:10I remember reading this at the start.
2:49:12Yes. Okay, cool. While writing this, I
2:49:16am still extremely upset and I wished
2:49:18her the best before saying goodbye. My
2:49:21family life couldn't allow space for
2:49:23more perceived needless stress. In the
2:49:26past, I'd have friends keep me close via
2:49:28self harm. And after seeing all the hurt
2:49:31on people's faces in RDC, hours later,
2:49:33I'd se connections. This was a
2:49:35principled decision. It's known. I know
2:49:38it's a narrative where the said victim
2:49:41was suicide or sorry, was baiting their
2:49:43suicide because they were caught sharing
2:49:45private info, but I did not suspect for
2:49:48the context. Ren says, "I just
2:49:50understood what happened. And I don't
2:49:52understand why and I don't know how this
2:49:54affects how people feel. But apparently
2:49:56when Blank was late to the awards and
2:49:57when we were texting him, he had no
2:50:00internet. His bars were out. So last
2:50:02thing Blank remembered was Blank saying
2:50:04he didn't want to hear me say anything
2:50:06about what happened, but he's like a dad
2:50:09to me. So I was trying to tell him. So Z
2:50:12is worried he's texting. And Blank tells
2:50:15him. Blank isn't coming. He's uncomfy
2:50:18because Ren told him or something. Is
2:50:21that what I'm getting or understand from
2:50:23him right now? So, Zeal's panic. So,
2:50:25Zeal panics and starts messaging me
2:50:27about it.
2:50:29Sorry. Holy [ __ ] People care people
2:50:33care about me and take care of me and
2:50:35all I do is hurt people and betray them
2:50:37and panic and cry and self-destruct.
2:50:40Oh, really? Um, it's okay. You don't
2:50:43have to say anything. No one has to. I'm
2:50:46trying to understand. I really am. I'm
2:50:48trying to sympathize. I understand I did
2:50:50something wrong. I'm just trying to take
2:50:52me usually a few months to process. I'm
2:50:55extremely s with this. I'm extremely
2:50:58slow with this stuff and I wish I were
2:51:00faster. I held no ill intentions, but
2:51:03what I didn't get is nobody did either.
2:51:08It was selfish of me and [ __ ] up of me
2:51:10to think you were betraying me when I
2:51:11was It was me reflecting. I'm the one
2:51:13who betrayed multiple times. I'm the one
2:51:16who has done the things and then started
2:51:18reflecting on to my caring best friends
2:51:20who only wished for the best of me and
2:51:22supported me. I can't even begin to
2:51:23understand what you must have felt. What
2:51:26you feel now. I never cared during this
2:51:27moment. I didn't understand. I now know
2:51:30that it's [ __ ] terrifying what I did
2:51:31to you. If someone did this to me, I'd
2:51:33react even worse than you did. This is
2:51:36this was meant to be this was meant to
2:51:38be a relaxed event where people connect
2:51:40and have fun. And I made it distressing
2:51:42and stressful for you.
2:51:44I made you shake. I made you cry. I made
2:51:47you feel so many terrible emotions.
2:51:49>> The call we had.
2:51:50>> Yeah. Um emotions instead of making you
2:51:53feel comfortable. Take all the time you
2:51:54need for yourself. I'll be working on
2:51:56myself somewhere. That's all I can do.
2:51:58I'll be signing off this account now.
2:51:59Leave me alone, Ren. I can't believe or
2:52:02trust anything you've said. This was my
2:52:04last interaction with her. I did not
2:52:06respond. I did not read her messages
2:52:07until recently because I was admittedly
2:52:09upset. Even then, I had already lost my
2:52:12trust in her.
2:52:14Then this is 10. Ren was discussing with
2:52:16other individuals innovation awards
2:52:18winner did not go to the awards showing
2:52:21from someone reading Ren's document that
2:52:23this person was not there due to their
2:52:25business meeting. I did not know this
2:52:26was what he was not there because of the
2:52:30information above.
2:52:32All right. Two more pages.
2:52:36No. And this is
2:52:38>> this is the he said she said this is
2:52:40just my side cyborg. Haha. Oh, he has a
2:52:43Okay.
2:52:44>> After Yeah. After touring San Jose
2:52:47together, the four of us, Renzil, Y and
2:52:49I, um, dropped by the suite to lounge.
2:52:54We spoke for an hour or two. We were
2:52:55sitting in the living room. Ren and Zil
2:52:57were sitting together before Zeal laid
2:52:59on Ren's lap. Nothing in this
2:53:01interaction raised an eyebrow. felt
2:53:03awkward being around PDA, especially
2:53:05friends I just met. So, I was obvious to
2:53:07what was considered you usual or not,
2:53:09and would try and would try not to
2:53:12observe his PDA between a past co-orker
2:53:14and my boss made me feel awkward. I
2:53:16looked over as I as I was sitting across
2:53:19from them and they were cuddling. I
2:53:21remained this way for 10 seconds of
2:53:23silence before I got up and saying, "A
2:53:25gay I to relieve my third wheel
2:53:28discomfort leaving the living area."
2:53:31This interaction also appeared to be
2:53:33consensual PDA at the time. These two
2:53:35were clo like close two close friends
2:53:38getting closer.
2:53:40I then hug Cyborg. Cyborg says not like
2:53:42Z. Not like Z. I did not say not like Z.
2:53:45Not like Z.
2:53:47>> I don't think I said that.
2:53:50Like granted it's like suppressed. I
2:53:52feel like I would [ __ ] remember that.
2:53:53What actually happened was, you know,
2:53:57like it's because it's tracks with what
2:53:59the DM the chat locks say is that she
2:54:02gave me chocolates. She was planning on
2:54:04giving me chocolates. Um, all right. So,
2:54:07so
2:54:09to this like to explain this
2:54:11chronologically,
2:54:13um, you know, there was the PDA and then
2:54:16like Zeal said goodbye and then he left
2:54:19and I just went to use the bathroom
2:54:21>> and then I came out. you know why I was
2:54:23there. Um but Ren was gone and
2:54:27apparently Ren went to go to their room
2:54:30to grab the chocolates for me.
2:54:32>> Yeah.
2:54:32>> And she came in and she was preparing
2:54:35them and then she handed me she handed
2:54:38me the chocolates and then she was like
2:54:41looking off into the room cuz obviously
2:54:43she was shy like I could kind of tell
2:54:46like this was a gesture for sure.
2:54:49>> Mhm. And I was like, "Oh, are these like
2:54:51um Jordanian specials? Like special to
2:54:54Jordanian?" And like she was like,
2:54:57"Yeah." And I was like, "Oh, thank you.
2:54:58That's very sweet." And then I gave her
2:55:00a hug and left like that. Not like zero
2:55:04part sounds.
2:55:07>> Yeah.
2:55:08>> No. No.
2:55:09>> That just didn't happen.
2:55:10>> I don't No.
2:55:12No [ __ ] way.
2:55:16While I was coming on buildings looking
2:55:18for a way to die, the police were called
2:55:19on me. While I do not have a definitive
2:55:20proof nor accounts for anyone uh that
2:55:23may have witnessed, I believe it would
2:55:24not be far-fetched for me to conclude
2:55:26that it was Zeal, Zerumat, and Cyborg
2:55:28Grid that called the police on me. Uh I
2:55:30was actually not involved at the time
2:55:32emergency services were called. This
2:55:34they were called before I even
2:55:35approached the afterparty group where I
2:55:37was later filled in on what happened. I
2:55:40did call her multiple times to talk. We
2:55:41did eventually we we finally did though
2:55:44the situation was already
2:55:46diffused.
2:55:48Okay.
2:55:51Holy guacamole
2:55:55cyborg. We have Booya.
2:55:57>> My face. I'm sorry. I just want to say
2:55:59my face is numb.
2:56:04>> Um,
2:56:05>> okay. So, uh, this is me and Cyborg like
2:56:11almost a full 12 24 hours later. We were
2:56:14really [ __ ] tired. It was like 5:00
2:56:16a.m. when we finished. So, um
2:56:18>> I was completely blanked.
2:56:21>> Me, too. Uh and I I'll put like a
2:56:24picture of like um before and then
2:56:27after. So, just as like a comparison.
2:56:30Yeah, I was dead. Like it was it was
2:56:32bad. Um
2:56:34>> you can see the soul in his eyes.
2:56:38>> So, uh yeah. Uh redoing the part that I
2:56:42said before. or I think I transitioned
2:56:44over. Is there anything else you would
2:56:47like to say to, you know, the world?
2:56:51>> Um, just just anybody.
2:56:55>> Yeah. Um,
2:56:57yeah. And now that I have my thoughts
2:56:59collected, um I was I guess in summary,
2:57:02I was only aware that she had a sexual
2:57:05attraction to Zil and thus she should
2:57:06say, you know, she should say no as it's
2:57:09not wise to consent to sex that you're
2:57:11not into especially a second time,
2:57:14especially with everything going on in
2:57:16her life. But no, like she argues with
2:57:18me and unprompted goes on about her
2:57:20emotional connection to zeal. And then
2:57:22she says she doesn't care if it's
2:57:24friends with benefits.
2:57:26Okay. So like romantic connection
2:57:28described but you don't care if it's
2:57:31friends with benefits like no no you do
2:57:33care you know
2:57:34>> that's what I tried to express and yeah
2:57:37according to Ren Zil makes that clear
2:57:40>> and when you know when he stays true to
2:57:43that Ren is let down like I don't know
2:57:46what to say but you didn't listen to me
2:57:49and now she's making me part of the
2:57:52problem saying I knew there was an
2:57:53assault like
2:57:57like okay my disappointment also lies in
2:58:00both of them like Zeal he had a
2:58:02responsibility as lead um you know under
2:58:05the under the assumption this was
2:58:09consensual you know doing the deed with
2:58:12a former coworker
2:58:14like besides like all the problems I had
2:58:16and you know pressures history like he
2:58:20let me down man
2:58:22>> he let me down But another big issue,
2:58:27and this is, you know, I I can only
2:58:29speak for my my two cents, but a huge
2:58:33issue from, I think, the first document
2:58:36was the entire team basically being
2:58:38condemned for being quote unquote greedy
2:58:40opportunist and like in on it. And other
2:58:45people saying pressure, you know, I see
2:58:48other people saying like, oh, pressure
2:58:50was made to make money. Like, yeah. and
2:58:53toilets were made to [ __ ] in. Like this
2:58:55was people's livelihoods. And I I knew
2:58:58some people who were going to move out
2:59:00with this money. Like
2:59:02another thing, um like I I don't know
2:59:04where this like
2:59:07um notion comes from because like
2:59:09pressure's popularity is
2:59:11disproportionate to how much money it
2:59:14was actually making. Like you know, if
2:59:18it was built on greed, we would be like
2:59:19sucking the algorithm's dick. But no,
2:59:21like if you see what's popular on
2:59:23Roblox,
2:59:26whatever.
2:59:27So yeah, it's one thing about an
2:59:30allegation,
2:59:32you know, it's another to attack
2:59:33people's livelihoods. Like I think that
2:59:36is I don't know what else to say, but
2:59:39like that's evil.
2:59:41So, right,
2:59:42>> um,
2:59:43>> you know, when I found out she was
2:59:45banned from RDC, I I scrambled to
2:59:47multiple people actually like asking if
2:59:49her like, uh, DevX partnership was
2:59:52revoked
2:59:53and yeah, so I was worried about her
2:59:56livelihood, but like, you know, it's
2:59:58cool that she's
3:00:00going after mine behind my back. So
3:00:05>> anyways, I believe the best evidence
3:00:08even now like I believe the best
3:00:09evidence is exclusive to that hotel
3:00:11room. And it's damning that like the
3:00:15truth of whether the essay happened or
3:00:16not determines like if any of this hurt
3:00:19had to happen and yeah,
3:00:21>> we can only go off what we know, but I
3:00:24know firsthand Rena is a liar.
3:00:29So, um,
3:00:31>> dang.
3:00:33Yeah. I mean,
3:00:36beautifully said. Uh,
3:00:39I'm
3:00:41right there in the same boat with you on
3:00:42that on that last like paragraph.
3:00:46So, yeah. I mean, to those who watched
3:00:51this all the way through, I know it was
3:00:52a rocky ride. Please keep in mind uh I
3:00:56haven't done this in a while and never
3:00:58has cyborgs. So we were um
3:01:02>> it was it was a roller coaster. So you
3:01:04know take take that with
3:01:05>> Thank you for subjecting yourself to
3:01:08torture
3:01:08>> to the torture cuz we tortured ourselves
3:01:12to get here.
3:01:14Um,
3:01:15so yeah, um, thank you guys for
3:01:19everything and uh, yeah,
3:01:22I will see you guys in the next one. See
3:01:26you.
3:01:26>> Byebye.
3:01:27>> Bye.

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