For those of us with tattered mental health; depression, bipolar, addictions… you’re wanted. — Transcript

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1. 0:00as much as I'd like to think we're
2. 0:01better than a Harry Potter world where
3. 0:03there's a word which nobody speaks but
4. 0:05everybody's aware of this looming Inky
5. 0:07Blackness that collectively everybody
6. 0:09agrees to ignore
7. 0:13we're no better
8. 0:15we are a Harry Potter world where we
9. 0:18have words that everybody feels and has
10. 0:20been touched by in some way uh there's a
11. 0:23collective trauma that exists uh but we
12. 0:25don't speak about it
13. 0:31addiction
14. 0:32right there are things that we don't
15. 0:34want to talk about mental health issues
16. 0:36that we just sort of act like don't
17. 0:38exist but
18. 0:39they're so pervasive that every one of
19. 0:42us has been touched in some way directly
20. 0:43or indirectly by the pain of these uh
21. 0:46issues being undealt with I
22. 0:49am genetically predisposed to these
23. 0:51things I have bipolar I was diagnosed in
24. 0:53my mid-30s I've talked about this before
25. 0:55and I like to talk about it in a way
26. 0:57that like it's behind me like I was
27. 1:00diagnosed because I had this one moment
28. 1:01in my life where there's a perfect storm
29. 1:04of problems that led me to this crazy
30. 1:06place and I've dealt with it now
31. 1:09and I do I take my medication I take
32. 1:11Lamictal which is an anti seizure
33. 1:14medication it's for epileptus develop
34. 1:16for people with epilepsy
35. 1:17to prevent the thunderstorm of neural
36. 1:20activity which is exactly what happens
37. 1:22when somebody's manic which is exactly
38. 1:24where I am right now you're looking at
39. 1:26the face of somebody dealing with
40. 1:27bipolar as we speak
41. 1:29and uh that medication just you can't
42. 1:32tell that you're on it but it's uh
43. 1:34supposedly keeps you from from those uh
44. 1:37the the burden of those episodes where
45. 1:39there's so much going on but sometimes
46. 1:40life you know it triggers triggers you
47. 1:44in such a way where there's nothing you
48. 1:45can do to avoid it and that's sort of
49. 1:46what my last few weeks or months have
50. 1:48been I've been dealing with depression
51. 1:49and it's hard because you you know
52. 1:51there's there's a sense of Shame
53. 1:54and the fact that you even have those
54. 1:55feelings because
55. 1:57you know I look at my life and I'm like
56. 1:58what is there to complain about but it's
57. 2:00not about complaining it's just about
58. 2:02the weight of
59. 2:04um
60. 2:05the weight of undealt with pain and
61. 2:08Trauma
62. 2:09uh I used to think that shame was the
63. 2:11reason for depression I don't think
64. 2:13shame is the reason for depression but I
65. 2:14think it acts as an anchor
66. 2:16to to make the the weight of depression
67. 2:20um even heavier to to pull you deeper
68. 2:22down into that world and just make you
69. 2:24you know it adds to the hopelessness
70. 2:26that you'll ever get out from under this
71. 2:28thing but the cause of depression I
72. 2:30think is undoubt with trauma or pain and
73. 2:32I think we as men are not equipped to
74. 2:36address the uh the emotional ocean that
75. 2:39exists within us especially when it's
76. 2:41born out of trauma in our past
77. 2:43um there's a great book uh Terence real
78. 2:45has dealing with this it's called I
79. 2:48don't want to talk about it overcoming
80. 2:49the secret Legacy of male depression and
81. 2:51I think this is a book that everybody
82. 2:53should read because it really
83. 2:55um we need each other collectively to
84. 2:57heal
85. 2:58um both men and women to understand this
86. 3:00to help men heal to to help men um
87. 3:04learn how to access things that women
88. 3:08have done so well
89. 3:10um at um you know women have mastered
90. 3:13the art of many of emotional intimacy of
91. 3:16all vulnerability of
92. 3:19um of talking through their issues and
93. 3:21you know we're raised to uh you know to
94. 3:26swallow those swallow pain to power
95. 3:30through and
96. 3:32um these these are not compatible with a
97. 3:35healthy emotionally healthy and vibrant
98. 3:37males and so we suffer from this
99. 3:39Collective depression I think many of us
100. 3:41I think
101. 3:42the brain when you're bipolar sort of uh
102. 3:45tries to to rescue you from depression
103. 3:47by Shocking you with a manic episode
104. 3:50that a huge amount of Electro you know
105. 3:55neural activity the thunderstorm of
106. 3:58activity comes online to sort of help
107. 4:01prop you back up on your feet the
108. 4:03feelings of invincibility and
109. 4:04grandiosity and uh it helps you uh to
110. 4:07attack life once more I'm reminded of
111. 4:09this scene in John chapter 4 where Jesus
112. 4:13is in Samaria the place where good
113. 4:17practicing Jews wouldn't go because they
114. 4:18thought of Samaritans as second-class
115. 4:20Citizens they wouldn't even speak to
116. 4:21them
117. 4:22and while there were a lot of miraculous
118. 4:25prophetic moments in that conversation
119. 4:26that Jesus had with the woman at the
120. 4:28well a rather famous
121. 4:29image of who Christ is in the New
122. 4:32Testament
123. 4:34um it's easy to gloss over lines like
124. 4:35this but I want to bring our attention
125. 4:37back to this
126. 4:38Jesus tired as he was from the journey
127. 4:41sat down at the well it was about noon
128. 4:44Jesus tired as he was from the journey
129. 4:47sat down at the well it was about noon
130. 4:49it wasn't even lunchtime yet and he had
131. 4:52to take a seat because he was exhausted
132. 4:55kind of how I feel many days like this
133. 4:58brain
134. 5:00dealing with
135. 5:01life and past traumas and the pain and
136. 5:04shame that's born out of the
137. 5:05recklessness of trying to avoid that or
138. 5:07run from it or medicate like many of you
139. 5:09I'm sure experience is exhausting
140. 5:12sometimes I feel like I need to take a
141. 5:14seat by noon
142. 5:15and we have somebody here who claims to
143. 5:18be the Messiah who did
144. 5:21the difference between my sitting down
145. 5:24being tired and Christ's
146. 5:26is that I'm longing for something to fix
147. 5:32me to replenish me to fill me up but
148. 5:35Christ extends his hand in his moment of
149. 5:38fatigue and says this
150. 5:40if you knew the gift of God and who it
151. 5:41is that asks you for a drink you would
152. 5:43have asked him and he would have given
153. 5:44you living water
154. 5:46in his moment of fatigue he's there with
155. 5:49this unrestrained Divinity opening
156. 5:51himself willing himself to open and pour
157. 5:54life into this woman and who was this
158. 5:57woman a Samaritan a second class type of
159. 6:01Jewish Citizen and not only that but she
160. 6:03was there at an hour where nobody else
161. 6:05was there because she was an outcast in
162. 6:07society he goes on to confirm this when
163. 6:09he says yeah you're right the person
164. 6:10that you're talking about isn't your
165. 6:11husband you've had five husbands and the
166. 6:13person you live with Now isn't your
167. 6:15husband
168. 6:16he
169. 6:18he could see the truth of who this woman
170. 6:20was in this moment
171. 6:22her rung in the societal ladder her sin
172. 6:25her her patterns in life that kept her
173. 6:30from being something that people lifted
174. 6:33up and paraded around as an example of
175. 6:36goodness and Holiness and Perfection and
176. 6:39sainthood and he wanted to offer himself
177. 6:43in that moment in his in his tired
178. 6:46moment offer himself to her fully
179. 6:48unbridled and not only that but where
180. 6:51does he see her from
181. 6:54from his tired spot on the well
182. 6:57and from his lofty perch on the cross
183. 7:00he knew where he was going and he knew
184. 7:03he was going there for her
185. 7:05he said this in John chapter 12 he says
186. 7:07now is my soul troubled and what shall I
187. 7:10say
188. 7:11father save me from this hour
189. 7:14but for this purpose I've come to this
190. 7:16hour
191. 7:18he said that just days before he was
192. 7:20crucified knowing where he was going
193. 7:24am I supposed to run from this and say
194. 7:26take this away from me
195. 7:28this is what I came for I came
196. 7:31so that I could sit high above
197. 7:34your sin
198. 7:36your patterns your fatigue the things
199. 7:40that are making you want to run
200. 7:42from my love
201. 7:45and have this View beautiful bird's eye
202. 7:47view from the cross
203. 7:49a place to invite you to the foot of it
204. 7:51to experience this infinite grace and
205. 7:54love and compassion for those of you who
206. 7:55feel like you do not deserve it I I did
207. 7:59it anyway
208. 8:00and I can see you from this place
209. 8:03where my blood can cover you
210. 8:07and open up the door to that bridge back
211. 8:09to the father
212. 8:10a place that I feel like I don't deserve
213. 8:14I look around in my life and again
214. 8:16regurgitating these unhealthy patterns
215. 8:19in my life as I try to medicate this
216. 8:21that awful
217. 8:23metallic taste of depression that I
218. 8:27don't want I want to spit it out but I
219. 8:28can't because it's part of who I am
220. 8:31and I
221. 8:33I'd imagine that many of you you know
222. 8:35maybe it's not depression or bipolar but
223. 8:37have trauma in your past or in your
224. 8:40present
225. 8:41that are that is the tiring that you
226. 8:44want to run from
227. 8:45but you have somebody
228. 8:47who sits with you
229. 8:49at the well
230. 8:51who calls you to the foot of the cross
231. 8:54to cancel out that sin and fill you up
232. 8:57with something Eternal and good The
233. 8:59Living Waters
234. 9:00that will quench your thirst