Explaining the CCU (Clokus Cinematic Universe) — Transcript

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1. 0:00Or 99 overall quarterback might be dead.
2. 0:02But his family tree is still alive and
3. 0:03well, and since we've added a few new
4. 0:04members, I thought I'd take a moment to
5. 0:06explain to you guys the lore of the
6. 0:08made-up football family with like 20
7. 0:10people.
8. 0:12I have too much [clears throat] time on
9. 0:12my hands. It all starts with Michael
10. 0:14Klogus, who was a great college football
11. 0:15head coach and went one for three on his
12. 0:17kids. Austin Klogus, who's by far the
13. 0:19strongest branch on this team. He's the
14. 0:20greatest running back of all time, has
15. 0:21five Super Bowls, three MVPs, and also
16. 0:24went on to marry a kind of underground
17. 0:26musician, Sabrina Carpenter, who really
18. 0:27brought her in the spotlight. Then
19. 0:29there's Jonathan Jacob Klogus, who is
20. 0:30just like his brother Austin, uh except
21. 0:32with none of the athletic ability. He He
22. 0:34tries to play cornerback in college, it
23. 0:35doesn't go very well, but at least he
24. 0:37goes on to marry Kendall Jenner. Uh not
25. 0:39the Kendall Jenner, it's just the same
26. 0:41name. It's confusing. Thor Klogus was
27. 0:43actually a pretty good college football
28. 0:44quarterback, but then uh he got injured
29. 0:46and his wife left him and his two kids,
30. 0:49and he got depressed.
31. 0:53But man, call Austin and Sabrina a
32. 0:54bargain meal at Wendy's because they
33. 0:56went four for four on their kids.
34. 0:57Jonathan R. Klogus, the greatest college
35. 1:00football wide receiver of all time, a
36. 1:01Tampa Bay Buccaneer. Mike Klogus, the
37. 1:03greatest linebacker, maybe even the
38. 1:05greatest player of all time. He is
39. 1:07currently on the Giants. Uh Brooke
40. 1:09Klogus, who's their daughter. And then
41. 1:10Jonah Klogus, two-time natty winning
42. 1:13running back. People still argue to this
43. 1:14day, he also has a Super Bowl ring, if
44. 1:16he's as good, if not better than his
45. 1:17father. But boy, what a lineup. Well,
46. 1:20Jonathan had a miserable football
47. 1:21career. He and his wife Kendall would go
48. 1:23on to give birth to Skyler Klogus, the
49. 1:25greatest cornerback of all time. Again,
50. 1:28you could argue the greatest player
51. 1:29college football has ever seen until, of
52. 1:31course, the tragedy. Gone too soon. And
53. 1:33if you don't mind, we're actually going
54. 1:35to take a moment of silence for Skyler
55. 1:36Klogus.
56. 1:41Before passing, Skyler Klogus would have
57. 1:43a son. We actually don't know who the
58. 1:44mother is. We don't know who the wife
59. 1:46is. She's chosen to keep her name out of
60. 1:48the spotlight because of the death of
61. 1:49her husband. But Skyler Klogus Jr., he
62. 1:51would be a baller. He would not be the
63. 1:53athlete his dad was. He didn't win a
64. 1:55Heisman, nothing like that. But he would
65. 1:57end his career with a college football
66. 1:59national championship. I don't know if
67. 2:00he'll be an NFL player. I I I don't
68. 2:02think so, but, you know, crazier things
69. 2:04have happened. And finally, Sar Clovis
70. 2:06does still share custody with two of his
71. 2:07kids, Sailor and Aiden. Sailor Clovis,
72. 2:10he went on to win a national
73. 2:11championship. He's a kind of a backup
74. 2:13quarterback in the NFL. He's not elite,
75. 2:15but a very good prospect. Meanwhile,
76. 2:17Aiden Clovis, he is a college baseball
77. 2:19player right now. He's the only Clovis
78. 2:21to not play football, at least the only
79. 2:22male Clovis. And yeah, that is the
80. 2:25Clovis family tree. That was a mouthful,
81. 2:27but, you know, let me know down in the
82. 2:28comments which one your favorite is,
83. 2:29which one you think is the true goat,
84. 2:31cuz we did mention a few goats on this
85. 2:33list. But, um
86. 2:37I don't Yeah.